Well, hello, hey, howdy, and however I greet you when I meet you and welcome to Get in
Tune, a musical talk show. I'm your host, Cainan Grier, and joining me for the very first episode
is my best friend of over 2,000 years and the co-author of that wonderful theme song you just
heard. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Amanda Pelay. Amanda, how are you doing today?
I'm wonderful, and I am coming from the gorgeous Miami where Cainan and I were
born. Well, he was born, I was born in Hollywood, however we were raised. I was born in Kendall.
Oh, wow. Well, that's still part of Miami Dade, so technically, but we were both raised,
and we did meet down here, and we can share a lot of stories when that time comes about being raised
here in the beautiful Miami, Florida. But yes, that beautiful meeting was now almost 15 years ago.
What a memory that was, let me tell you. Should I be really sweet to you? I think so, right? Yeah.
Or do you want to tell the real story? Because I can put an explicit sticker on this if you really
want to tell the real story. No, I asked you if I should be sweet because I think it is sweet.
No, I think the real story is sweet. I mean, you did come in like a bat out of hell, but I really
like, but I really did like look at this new kid to our class, because Kaynen did come in like halfway
through our first year in middle school, and I just saw this kid, and he had big old hair and a
rolling backpack, which I thought were prohibited at the time, and they probably were, but not that
that matters to you. Would you have a school note? No, sorry, a doctor's note for scoliosis. I did
have a doctor's note. Yeah. Anyways, I saw this big haired kid with a rolling backpack walk in
to our class, and I just remember you came in like a bat out of hell. I don't remember what you said
or the energy, but I just looked at you, and I was like, I like him. He's different, and I think
we're going to be friends, and that was that. Yeah, that was the end of it. I walked in with an ego
the size of Texas. I thought I was all that in a bag of chips. I had an Afro that was almost twice
the size of my head. I was wearing a Nesquik racer jacket, and not a racer jacket. It's called a
bomber jacket. Is that what it is? It was a race car jacket, because they still sell them. Yeah,
it was a race car driver jacket that was Nesquik, and I had a rolling backpack, because if you didn't
know, I had had surgery like a year or two before that, and they still didn't want me carrying
anything on my back, just in case I may tear the wound asunder. And this was all surprisingly
pre-my musical journey. Like, I had zero intention of being a musician at this point. I actually
thought I was going to be a scientist, but I was going to a magnet school before I went to the
school that me and Amanda went to, and I was so overwhelmed with all the information that was
coming my way. We had like 60 problems of math homework a night, and that was one class, and then
we had like two science fair projects due every week. We had a computer class, we had an agriculture
class, and I was just like, this shit is for the birds. I am going to have a mental breakdown
if I keep doing all this work. I barely understand what it means to be a person in sixth grade. So,
I left that school and went to what I thought was going to be a more normal program, and it was
more calm than that, but it definitely wasn't more normal, because we definitely went to school with
some very interesting people, and we had some very interesting teachers. And it was around-
Very colorful people.
Very colorful, very colorful. Love those people. The teachers, I mean.
Oh, absolutely. Definitely not the people.
Right. And so, it was around that time Oprah retired. Oprah retired from her talk show around
the time we were in sixth grade or seventh grade, somewhere in those two years. And I only know this
because I was sitting in my bedroom, and Kristin Chenoweth was singing with the Morehouse Men
for Good on Oprah's retirement special. And I was in the midst of searching for what I was going to
do now that I wasn't doing science anymore, because I just couldn't handle the workload in my mind.
And she came out and started singing for good, and I saw how moved everyone in the audience was,
and I said, oh, I think this moment is changing these people's lives. I think this is healing
them a little bit. I think this is doing something for them spiritually and emotionally. And I'm like,
this is similar to the effect I would have wanted to have working in STEM. And so, I think I'm going
to be a singer. And I just told myself I was going to be a singer. And not a few months after that,
my mom took me to see Wicked. I say see Wicked, but I'm putting air quotes up see Wicked because
we were in the balcony seats. So, I saw the set, but I couldn't tell you what any of those people
look like from those nosebleed seats. I saw the Wicked costumes and the Wicked set and heard the
Wicked voices, and they were fantastic. And then a few months after that, I auditioned for my first
musical, which is highly inappropriate for a seventh grader going into eighth grade. It was Sweeney Todd
by Stephen Sondheim. How do you feel about middle schoolers doing Sweeney Todd knowing what you know
about it now, Amanda? Honestly, I knew nothing about it then. And I thought it was really cool.
I mean, it wasn't just you at the time. It was like a bunch of our friends at the time doing it.
And I really thought it was a cool experience. Honestly, I kind of wanted to do it myself, but
I was like, I mean, I'm an artist. That's not the type of art I do. So, I was like, I'll just, you
know, see how it goes from afar. But I did not know then what I know now. And being what I know
now, it's, I really don't understand how they can do that show with anyone under the age of 18,
maybe even 20. And you guys were 12? 13? Six to 12th grade. Right. Yes. So, yeah, knowing what I know
now, looking back, I mean, I really wish I did see it so I could understand how they managed to
do it with you guys. Like, did they alter the script any? Like, I actually, yeah, actually don't.
I've never told you. And we've never watched that nightmarish thing because I don't know what the
DVD is. But apparently my mom still has a DVD. I got to find it somewhere so I can archive it.
But so basically this is how it went down. So, this was my first musical. And I knew, I just knew
with the two minutes of practice I did that I was the best thing there. A fallacy, truly. But you
couldn't tell me anything. My ego was the size of Texas. So, I remember, I'll walk you through the
process. My audition song was Santa Fe by Rent from Rent. Santa Fe from Rent, not Newsies. I
wasn't that bold. I wasn't belted high A's. But let me tell you how stupid this is. He's a baritone.
And my voice was higher than. I'm thwarted by a metaphysic puzzle. Is where the song starts.
Well, you haven't said who you played.
Oh, I'll get there. So, I sang this song for the audition. Sounded a hot mess. Got three callbacks.
I got a callback for the main character. I got a callback for the villain. And I got a callback for
the villain's assistant. And I just knew I was going to be the titular character. I just knew
I was going to be Sweeney Todd because I was that guy, right? And the director pulls me to the side
and he goes, so, you're fantastic. That's why you're up for three roles. But we have other
people we're considering for the main character and the assistant. And we think those other people
could pull off those roles. But we don't think those other people could pull off the villain.
So, you're going to play Judge Turpin. When I tell you, I didn't want to hear anything that man said.
I was so mad. I was like, in my head, it's not my problem that they can't flip-flop into this other
role. I don't want this role. I didn't want the role because he was only on stage for a total of
like five minutes of the whole show scattered throughout. Now, as an adult segue, if you call
me for a role that's a name role and I'm only on stage five minutes, I'll sign that contract
tomorrow. You're telling me I'm getting paid. That's been your truth since the last show you did,
which I'm sure we'll get into that, not in this podcast, eventually. But that is now
Kayden's truth for at least the last eight to 10 years. Yeah. It's a lead role and I'm on and then
I'm off and then I'm back on again later and then I'm off. Oh, you can't tell me to not sign that
contract tomorrow. But at the time I was mad. I was so mad that I went out of my way to learn
everybody's lines in the whole show just in case anybody got sick and couldn't do it and I could
take their role. That is the dumbest thing I've ever heard. That's a child's brain if I've ever
heard anything. Imagine now, are you serious? I barely learn my lines now. I barely remember
my address when I'm trying to order from a website. I swear I live at Northeast and I told someone
North the other day and didn't even think about it twice. And then they sent it back to me and I was
like, there's something off. What is it? And it took me like a minute to realize it's Northeast.
And I've lived here 25 years. So yeah, that's child's brain for you. Also a gifted child's
brain. Let's not forget that. Yeah, I learned the whole show, learned everybody's cues. So I feel
like I should explain the plot of the show for the listeners that are not musical buffs or had not
seen the Johnny Depp and Helena Bonham Carter movie. So you could understand why Amanda and I
think that there was no reason why any of us should have been doing this show. So Sweetie Todd is about
a wrongfully accused ex-convict who escapes from prison in Australia, hops on a boat, goes on that
boat from Australia to London to go to his old home, assume a new identity, partner up with the
lady who owns a bakery under his former home to kill the person that wrongfully convicted him,
the judge played by moi. And when he fails his first attempt, he decides that he will take out
his rage by murdering the unsuspecting people of London and the woman will cook them into pies
and feed those pies to the other unsuspecting people of London. And it's a very lucrative business.
And in the end, everyone dies. I think that's the long and short of it. Yeah. So as you can see,
this is a perfect musical for middle and high school students to jump right in for, especially
their first musical like me. And I loved and hated every minute of it. I hated it because I hated my
part, but I loved being a part of a musical coming together. Like it definitely didn't kill my,
it didn't kill my want to do it at all. If anything, it made me go home and start doing a
deep dive into other musicals yet. And I really was listening a lot to Wicked and I was listening
a lot to Rent and I got into this movie called Repo, the Genetic Opera, which I felt like was
in a similar vein to Sweeney Todd. And then I just sort of, I think I went from there and I end up
going to a much, much better Children's Educational Theatre program the following year,
because our friends were going to this place. You went, you knew about JCAT before I knew about
JCAT, right? Yeah, probably. If not right before, but yes. I mean, we had a very similar circle of
friends at the time and I was invited to see a show there when we were in seventh grade. So yeah,
I went a few months definitely before you had heard of it. And honestly, I was really blown away.
Like I had really no expectations. I mean, we were talking about our friends in middle school,
and they did a show called My Favorite Shorts, where like the same actors are doing multiple,
like really short plays, and they're playing different characters. And I just thought it was
wildly impressive for children to just switch up like that. And that's really where that started,
like for me. And then when you got into it, it was just really exciting after that. It just really
snowballed for us throughout our late middle school and high school period. So to introduce
this establishment and the whole point really of this episode, if you've been following so far,
if I didn't clearly announce it in the beginning, I'm really setting up this episode so you can get
to know me and why I feel so strongly about doing this podcast. And I thought it would be perfect to
bring on my best friend of 2000 years to sort of walk back through this journey, because I forget
things and she forgets things. And so the two of us together will be the complete scrapbook to
inform you as to how I got to the point of making this podcast for you all. So I would say going to
this theater, and I'm going to name the theater because I love it. It was called JCAT, the Jays
Cultural Arts Theater, the J, meaning the Jewish Community Center in our neighborhood. And it was
run by a couple of amazing individuals who I'd love to, you know, shout out, shout out to Michael
and Lillian Andron and the music director Marlena Tuchinsky and the whole staff that made it work
together. Joanne Don, Rosanne Gibel, Roberta who put together our props, David Zabel who would do
our recordings and our sound engineering. Oh my God, naming all those names, I really felt like
I was on an entertainment interview. You ever listen to people on Broadway give interviews and
it's like, and I have to give special props to Bernie Strickland and Rosanne Feldstein and it
just, they go down the list. I feel like that being at the J was like a rite of passage into
that kind of community. And I love that so much. I love being part of this theater community.
And I just have to take a second and also mention the amazing costume, you know, designer that worked
so little and made something really amazing out of it every time. Her name is Carole. We love you.
Carole Barou-Mootu. I just remember the first and last name. Yes. Come on.
No, I love you Carole. We cannot forget Carole. And the hair and the makeup teams, the various
teams that moved through there. Special shout out to the Battat family.
It was all the donors, anything I've ever seen in children's theater, even now as an adult that
works in the children's arts educational sector, there is nothing I've ever seen short of a private
school, but a private school with a crazy budget that produced work like what we were doing at JCAT.
It was truly, I think, lightning in a bottle there. No, it was. And I'll never forget. So I got into
it. One of my friends had invited me to see Little Shop of Horrors. And I being me told her, no,
I have zero interest in going to see you all try and recreate that. Because I loved the movie
Little Shop of Horrors. And I just wasn't interested in seeing anybody stage version. No, no hate to
them. I just really loved the movie. And then a few months after that, she was like, Hey, we need
tech people. So what the hell's tech? She goes, we just, you know, you get volunteer hours for
coming in and you move the furniture on and on stage between the scenes. And we're doing the
musical guys and dolls, which I had heard of vaguely wasn't super familiar with it. Again,
I'm just now endeavoring into musical theater. So I show up and I'm like, Oh, I'm going to do
this. So I show up and I meet the director, Michael Andron, and he's super nice. And he's
super cool. He just gives off major grandpa vibes. He's super chill. And he shows us, you know,
we sit and watch the play what they've got so far. And he shows us how to lift things on and off
stage. And I had a couple of friends that were doing it too. And I'll never forget, I stayed for
notes. And this is my first day ever at this theater. And he goes, I want to thank the leads
for saving that scene. And he points over at a third grader after Jane Doe single-handedly
ruined the entire show by standing there waving her gun around like it was her ponytail.
Needless to say, I was floored. This was not the man that I had just met. This nice grandpa type
who seems like an artsy grandpa. Like he lit into her, like she was getting paid a salary for this.
And so she came highly recommended with an extensive resume. Oh my God. And me,
segue leading up to this, I was obsessed with standup comedy as a child.
And in my opinion, the old New York vaudeville Broadway Jewish school of humor is hysterical,
especially old Jewish people losing their shit is one of the funniest things on the planet to me.
And that was basically my experience at this theater, but he was so, it was direct,
but it wasn't malicious. Like he was working towards the vision. Like he didn't just single
out one person. He'd come for everybody. He'd come for himself sometimes. Like nobody was safe.
And so I stayed and I worked tech for this production. And then I worked tech for the next
production, the importance of being earnest. And he asked me if I would stand in for a role
because my friend David was out of town and David was playing the reverend. I think he was playing
the reverend. And I walked on with a script and just jumped right in the scene because I'd been
watching. And from that point on, I was pretty much on stage all the time at JCAT. Michael had
me try out for my first play, which was called Harvey. And if you're not familiar with Harvey,
it was an old movie with a couple of people who were in the same room. And they were all
with, oh, I can't remember the actor. I think he was a pilot. Jimmy Stewart, Jimmy Stewart,
Jimmy Stewart was in the original Harvey. Me and Amanda both looked at each other and she's like,
don't look at me. I was so hoping he wasn't relying on me there. No, no. She looked at me like,
please God, don't ask me who he was. I barely remember who was even in your production that I
saw. So it was a movie with Jimmy Stewart where, and don't quote me on this if I'm wrong,
but I'm 90% sure it's Jimmy Stewart, where he plays a man, Elwood Dowd,
who has a best friend named Harvey, who is a puka, a spirit that looks like a
six or seven foot tall bunny that talks to him. And his family tries to have him committed.
And it's a farce. So there's a lot of doors opening and closing and mistakes.
His sister who's trying to commit him ends up getting committed. Then the doctor that they're
trying to commit him to, who I happened to play, Dr. William Chumley, the psychiatrist. I had to
remember his first name. I remember it was Dr. Chumley, but I was like, this is Dr. William
Chumley, the psychiatrist. I had to remember because I had it set up in my mind. You had to
just jump into his body for a second. He ends up seeing this rabbit and now he has basically a
nervous breakdown throughout the course of the show. When I tell you, I think this is the worst
job I've ever done on anything I've applied myself to because I didn't get off book until opening night.
I thought it was iconic. It was iconic because I spent the two or three week run of the play
using the play as rehearsal to figure out how I was going to characterize this character.
And to me as a professional now, that's a flop. Like you should not be rehearsing as the show's
going on. I mean, I think as a fellow 13 year old at the time, 13, 14, yeah, I just thought it was
historical. I thought you were so good. I thought the whole show was good, but you were obviously
just stand out in that one. But now obviously looking back and seeing the professionalism side
of what we did, I mean, because we did witness the adult shows and now carrying this through to
adulthood. Obviously that was the wrong move, but I just, I loved that show. That was like one of my
favorite memories at JCat was going to see Harvey. I think I sat front row. I mean, I was
floored by how funny you were. And a big, big, big, big, big, big shout out to my double,
my double cast, Harry John, because there were a couple of bits that I definitely got from him.
And he really helped me decide how loony I was able to make this character. Like I got a bit
for him where I'm writing on a legal pad information that confirms that we've made a goof. And then you
rip the paper off the legal pad, crumple it up while you're still on the phone and throw it into
the face of your co-star who made the goof. I got that one from him and it just landed really well
every time. But after that point, Michael, Michael sat me down after berating me throughout rehearsal
for not being on book. And he gave me the, you know, like mano y mano kind of conversation where
he explained to me, like, you cheated yourself by not memorizing this play sooner. Because the quicker
you get off book, the more time you have during the rehearsal process to really make the character
your own. And I carry that into my, into my musical life now too. Like I really love to have all my
music like really mastered early on into the process so I can spend the majority of my rehearsal
time developing the characterization of a song, no matter the genre. So from there, I was supposed
to do a couple of plays but my grades flopped. And mom was like, no, you're not going to spend
hours at this theater after school and you can't get your grades together. Now, I don't know if I've
told you this, but she and I have had the conversation that if I were to parent, I don't
think I would pull you out of the production just because I understand the value of an actor in the
production. Now what I am going to do, I'm going to force you to get tutoring and still do the
production. And now you have to learn now at this early age how to balance the two. But you know,
everybody's just figuring it out when they're parenting. They don't know. And it was a rational
decision for her to take me out. Absolutely. We actually did have that conversation. Actually,
I remember that surprisingly. I remember something. But we did have that conversation. And I do agree.
I think, I mean, obviously, her decision making was, you know, great for the time,
you know, with the experience that she had. But yeah, I think it's so important to teach
kids responsibility and commitment. Like you make a commitment, you adhere to it by like come hell
or high water. So yes, we did have that conversation. And I completely agree. I think it's so important
because especially at that age, that's a formative age, like what were we like 13, 14, like your
commitments become so big all of a sudden, as soon as you hit high school. And yeah, I really think
that kids can benefit from that. But that's just my opinion. I try and impress that upon the parents
of the students that I had taught. They're like, Oh, well, he didn't practice this week,
because he had homework. And he had this play. And he had, I said, when I finally got that hang of it,
I was doing a play after school, I was student conducting three different choirs, I was taking
an AP class, I was helping out at the JCC, not in school, and still running in school,
school and still graduated with like a 3.85 or 3.87 GPA. So you have to learn how to balance that.
And I told my kids earlier, I'm like, y'all, it doesn't get easier when the homework disappears.
Because now I got a lot of parents to do. I have so much stuff to do in a day that requires me to
not be at home. And I was really like, all done tight. Yeah, really tight deadlines. Some of them
are like legal deadlines. Real for real. And like Michael really instilled that into me at an early
age, that understanding that really, for lack of a better term, you need to know your shit going
into the building, not learn it when you get there. You have to go in knowing what you're supposed to
do. And like the example I gave my students is that I told you I got a call one time that somebody
may need me to come fill in and sing background in a couple of days, in like two or three days.
And they sent me a song list of 19 songs, of which I think I knew one. And I was expected to, if
picking up this gig, take those 19 songs and have them at performance level, memorized in three days.
And that is the real world in performing. And that's the real world in general.
If they can't do it, they'll find someone who can. They will hire the next person that can.
So I think the next show I did was an improv children's theater show, Jack and the Beanstalk.
And then nothing else that year. And then I did another improv and I did the theater camp
as one of the counselors, where I started working in music direction and I started teaching the
music to children. At the same time I was in school, I think I was the tenor section leader.
And then I became a student conductor. And so I really was getting into my teaching bag,
not just my, Cainan is the divo of the building. Like Kanan is also the one that's going to sit
everybody down and go, hey, this part isn't right. You're not singing this right. It's supposed to
go like this. Yeah. This was a really, actually really important transitional time. If we're
talking about like your musical journey, because what we didn't mention yet was that you changed
high schools for a better musical opportunity. We went to an amazing high school that's very
reputable, but the program that you were in wasn't serving you in the way that you wanted anymore.
So you moved to a charter school and that was really important during this time. So at that
point you had really taken this journey extremely serious and so much so that you're moving school,
you're leaving all your friends because it was the same group of friends that came with you
from middle school. So I don't think we should overlook this part because it was extremely
it was extremely transitional. So while you're doing J-Cat still, your personal life is changing
so much to aid you in this musical journey. And I thought that was really important to mention
because without that you wouldn't really have ended up where you ended up now.
See I told you it's two pieces of the scrapbook. It's her half and it's my half and we put it
together and we get the whole story. So yeah, it was like the workload at our high school.
The workload was big and then the chorus workload was big, but they were separate.
Like in our school that we both went to, the magnet for the arts was its own thing and don't
let that thing interfere with this thing over here that is your core curriculum of academics.
And as I told you at this point it was getting hard for me mentally to handle a gigantic academic
course load plus the large choral curriculum. And I had a great teacher, shout out Dr. Keating,
who really like got me into the idea of being a section leader and a teacher and trusting me
with the things. But I think if I remember correctly, right, I left because
I was teaching and I think Dr. Keating had gotten sick at the time and he wasn't at school
for a while. We had a rotating group of subs and we had choral concerts coming up.
And I was a freshman or was I a sophomore? No, I was a sophomore. You were a sophomore. I was a
sophomore in the middle of the year. Yep. And it was just really hard. Again, in the middle of the year.
Yeah. It was really hard trying to teach people in a real high school environment, like the seniors
are seniors. Like they're not going to listen to a freshman or a sophomore who hasn't been doing this
as long as them teach parts and try and guide a rehearsal. And they just didn't care en masse.
So when I left and went to the magnet school or the charter school,
where that was literally a part of the curriculum, one of the classes was you became a student
conductor and it was your job to lead, learn to lead a classroom and lead a choir. That really
helped. And then it was the kind of program where we took a week off from school in the beginning
to go to an arts retreat for a week to like hunker down on our, get a head start on our years.
And we didn't miss anything because the academic teachers came as chaperones. Like you see, this is
like a conservatory minded environment and I learned a lot there. And that's also where I
really got introduced to jazz. All of this is happening consecutively. Right. All of this is
happening at the same time that I'm doing the musical theater stuff. And there were times where
I would miss one concert because I had a show that night or I'd miss a show because I had a concert
and we had to work out the schedule because I was living a full-time music student life.
And I was also living what feels like a full-time drama student life. Like I was learning both sides.
And while I was at the theater, mind you, around my 11th grade year, which if anyone tell you is
the hardest year, I was assisting the music director. Like I was sitting in with her. I did
the auditions because she was out of town. I ran the auditions for that musical, Annie Get Your Gun.
I put all the sound cues in the system. I made sure the keys were right for the two cast. I brought
in any sound effects that needed to be brought in for every show that year. Except Handel was here.
Yeah, this was really your like, let me dip my toes in every pond like time of your life.
Because like we just said, you were part of this. You're part of that. Like you're part of so many
things and you had so many beautiful opportunities at this really important age right before you
decide what you're going to do with the rest of your life basically. So, you know, I think it's
beautiful and so rare, but you did figure out what you wanted to do, you know, in sixth grade.
And then by the time you got to a 10th, 11th grade, you made all the optimal decisions
and nothing like as small as learning how to put cues into the system really should be overlooked.
Because now to this day, I feel like you can do anything. I really do. You know?
Well, I can, I think, I don't think as I can do anything, but what I will do is I think doing that
a policia, now that I can hear.
Welcome to Miami.
But I think what it taught me to do is to try to learn to do whatever needs to be done.
Like I'm not intimidated by stepping into something that I don't know how to do.
Like I'm always willing to learn and put my best foot forward in the learning process.
Like one of the shows that year I wrote music for. I had never written music for anything.
I wrote a little bit of that music for Around the World with Cinderella.
And I didn't know if I could do it. Honestly, I said yes and challenged myself to do it anyway.
And I wrote a few cues and I borrowed some stuff from other things.
But I think I did good sound engineering for that show because that's exactly what I did.
I did the sound design for that show. I was in Annie Get Your Gun as the lead while also putting cues in the system for that.
And kind of understudying, shadowing is the word, the music director to see how her process went.
See how she taught parts. See how she made adjustments.
See how she rearranged things to fit the voices of the children that were there.
Saw how the director ran rehearsal. I was learning all these things while also being at school being a student conductor.
Full-time student.
Right. And a full-time student. Right.
And so that journey led me to what I thought was my dream college where I auditioned for Berkeley College of Music.
Shout out Berkeley.
I mean, but you know, although it didn't end up being your dream experience, I don't think we should, you know, make light of the fact that you went to Berkeley.
I mean, at the time that was really like such an incredible thing that you put your mind to and was able to accomplish.
So I don't want to make a lot of trouble.
Don't knock it. Don't tell them how I really feel.
No, we can talk about your actual time there. But at the time, that was a huge deal.
And honestly, like listening to us talk about it in retrospect, it's like, of course you went to Berkeley College of Music.
Like it makes so much sense. But at the time, it was really like, oh, shit, you're going to Berkeley College of Music.
Like living it, it really didn't seem like it was obvious, you know?
So, yeah, I mean, like I said, although it wasn't the absolute dream come true at the end of the day, we were so proud of you.
That was a huge accomplishment.
Well, thank you. I was excited.
Now, I'm going to tell the whole truth in that I absolutely thought I was getting in.
I felt every minute of what I was doing. And I was like, don't you see all this work I'm doing?
Of course they're going to let me in, was my mindset. Not realizing that life really is a lottery.
And there are a lot of people that are as talented and if not significantly more talented than you,
that are also auditioning for literally everything you're auditioning for.
So we thank God for that opportunity. And Berkeley was enlightening is what I'm that's the term I'm going to use.
And I'll tell you why it was enlightening. It was enlightening for a number of reasons.
It gave me imposter syndrome and killed my imposter syndrome at the same time from two different spaces.
And what I mean by that is one of my teachers and we're not going to name names,
but one of my teachers in high school told me that when I got to Berkeley,
I was going to realize that I was a small fish in a big pond and that it wasn't for me.
I wasn't going to make it basically. Old dream killing heifer.
And of course, at the time I was like, oh, well, she's a hater, you know.
But of course, when someone says something to you that's obvious, hateration,
thank you Mary J. Blige for that word.
But when somebody says something to you that's like hatery, you don't believe it.
But the part of your mind that's negative is going to hold on to that.
And whenever something goes wrong, that hater comment is going to peep out of its closet and come tap you on your shoulder.
And so I got there and there were so many, so many terrible musicians.
I'm going to be honest. I went to one of the freshman jams and went, this is it.
This is what I'm paying all this money for until I found my friend group.
And then as I started to find my friends, I was like, oh, yes, these are the aliens I paid to come study with.
These are the movers and the shakers. These are the players. OK, got it.
OK, I'm at the right place.
And so that affirmed me. And the fact that they wanted to hang out with me and they wanted to make music with me was affirming.
And my harmony class, I go to freshman harmony and the teacher explains a concept.
And I'm like, I know that concept. I can play you a song with that concept right now on the piano.
And I glazed over this. Right. So in freshman year, I started teaching myself how to play piano,
not because I wanted to play piano, but because we were taking a vocal technique class
and all the YouTube keys were terrible for my changing pubescent voice.
And so I said, well, if I'm going to stop embarrassing myself in class,
I better figure out how to play these songs myself so I can change the keys.
And I went to the chorus room every day at lunch and practiced and stayed after school and practiced.
And I had a keyboard at home and I practiced on that.
My mom paid twenty five dollars to a friend of hers for an old piano and she basically gifted to me.
And I've had I had that piano from 2018 to 2023.
I finally disassembled it and turned it into a piece of furniture in 2023 because I never had it tuned.
And it sounded godawful. Rest in peace.
But I learned to play piano because I thought it was something that I was supposed to do.
I thought it was a necessary tool for my journey, but it wasn't a passion of mine, though.
I would say it's become like one of my favorite things now.
Like I love sitting at a piano and playing. I could do it for hours. I like it more than I like singing, actually.
It comes so naturally to you to not be like what you originally like signed up for. Set out. Yeah. Yeah.
I feel like that's how life goes, though. You know.
So at the time, back in that harmony class, I told the teacher I could play you a song that has this chord progression that you're explaining in it.
He said, if you can play me three songs correctly, they have this chord progression in it. You can leave.
So I got my happy behind up and walked over to that upright and played him three songs.
And he said, well, I'll see you next week.
When I tell you I never turn in a single homework assignment for that class and yet I had an A and I was so confused.
And then midterms came around and he pulled up the gradebook.
He said, you see how Canaan hasn't turned in a single assignment this semester?
College professors for you.
Canaan can play every tune I call in this class.
So I don't care if he didn't do the 27 workbook problems to help you understand this concept,
because he's going to get called when I need a sub for the gig because he can play the chart.
Now, that's terrible to any young people listening. Do your homework.
Because Berkeley definitely kicked my ass out.
But he understood the way my brain worked because my brain at the time was like,
I'm not going to stand here and do 90 problems of homework when I can prove to you in three practical applications that I understand this concept.
And he really got that.
It affirmed my mentally ill brain, my neurodivergent madness, if you will.
And the imposter syndrome came from in my private lessons.
And my teachers were lovely. They really were like they really treated me with care.
Their only thing was they discouraged me from playing piano and singing.
Because they were like they told me my technique suffered when I did it.
And as a teacher, I agree with them. My technique did need mending in order in order to properly execute that to artist level quality.
However, I don't think the direction should have been so don't play piano.
The direction should have been I wonder if I have a colleague that can advise me who plays and sings on how you could improve your technique.
But because of the pace, and I'm going to give them grace and say, I think it's because of the speed of the curriculum.
Because they had a midterm and a final for their class and they had a limited amount of time where they had to make sure that I knew three or four tunes to mastery level for my proficiency exam at the end of the semester.
And I think that's the problem with these like big classes where you have to get somewhere quickly with people that have various learning styles.
Because how is it going to benefit you to stop playing?
Which was half of my artistry by this point. Exactly.
And you're going to need this going forward.
You know, you're going to get 100 gigs where you need to play and sing. So why in college are we going to stifle this just because we have to meet a deadline of a midterm or final?
I mean, I understand that that's how it is. But it's like, why?
Now, let me throw a little light. You know, somewhere one day where that's not the case.
Let me throw a little light shade. You know, Berkeley discourages you from doing both as an institution.
Like they discourage you from double majoring in piano and voice.
Like it doesn't. But we're going to let it ride.
We're not going to do too much on Berkeley because I am proud to be an alumnus.
But that doesn't stop me from being critical of things I feel can be changed.
And I want to point out to my listeners that a key point that I'm going to carry through this.
And I'm really glad I started this with Amanda because she kind of gets my mind and she's been there the whole time is that I want to approach all my interviews and all my.
Sort of podcast essays from a point of critique, not judgment.
And I tell my students this. You can be critical of something without being judgmental about that thing.
Because to move forward as people and to grow, we have to be critical thinkers that.
But that doesn't mean it's a criticism.
We can have a critical thought about how something could be fixed without saying, well, that's why the whole thing's garbage anyway.
That's a judgment. You know, the criticism is over generalization.
Yeah, we don't want to do that. Yeah.
And I'm not trying to judge the people working within the institution either.
I'm just leveling a criticism of the concept as a whole at anything that I talk about.
Because I really liked most of my teachers at Berkeley.
One or two. I have judgments for so we won't talk about them on this podcast.
But the rest, I'm sort of just critical of how the program works as a whole.
Shout out to Cassandra McKinley. She's lovely.
She really helped me embrace my style as a singer like she's the one that told me to learn that Luther Vandross song Superstar.
Don't you remember you told me you love me, baby.
She told me to learn memory. She was extremely talented herself. Right.
Oh, yeah. She sings down album saved in my album.
Yeah, she she's a swaggy jazz singer. I like her, too.
So shout out to her. And another special shout out to I don't think I ever told him this.
And if he listens to this podcast, I hope he finds out this way.
So when I was going to Berkeley, I looked at the faculty to see if it was someplace I wanted to be.
And I stumbled upon the gospel choir professor, Dennis, Dennis Montgomery, the third.
And he was playing and singing Total Praise, which was one of my favorite songs.
And he was reharming it to the gods like he turned that song upside down.
And I was like, oh, I hope I get to meet this man.
And lucky for me, the entire time I was there, whether I went to class or didn't, I went to gospel choir and participated.
And he saw that I could play one day because he was singing.
And I sat down because the piano player went to the bathroom and they were doing for every mountain.
And I knew how to play that one. So I sat down and played it.
And he was like, oh, you play. Do you play and sing? I say, yeah.
He said, don't ever lose that. Right.
Affirmed and gave me imposter syndrome at the same thing, because to me, I felt like I was doing something wrong and I should be at my best.
And there are other people that play and sing well while they're sitting down.
And so if I'm not in that number, then maybe I shouldn't.
Like it was a whole stream of thoughts that have influenced the way I've decided to become a teacher today.
Like all of this is building me into the educator I'm trying to turn myself into.
But I learned so much good music in Reverend's Gospel Choir under Dennis Montgomery, the third.
And I would just sit in class and all of him. And I'm sure I got on his nerves a little bit because I was the class clown.
But he was really nice to me. He was so nice to me and so helpful and so friendly.
And I met amazing artists there that some of whom I'll interview throughout this podcast series.
I definitely have a list of people I want to reach out to and talk to because they're also doing great and wonderful things.
But I eventually decided that Berkeley wasn't for me and Berkeley decided that I wasn't for them.
And we parted ways. Good old fashioned divorce.
Though I am a member of the Alumni Society because I did my time. I spent the allotted amount of time there to qualify me as an alumni.
And I wear Berkeley with a badge of honor because it does have a great legacy behind it.
And I think with some changes, it'll continue to have a great legacy in front of it.
If not just for me having gone there, if not just for the friends that I've made that have gone there that are making names for themselves.
It is an institution. You know, when you say Berkeley College of Music somewhere, the people that know are like, oh, yeah, you know your stuff.
You know, a lot of people know. Yeah. And a lot of people recognize that. And I've made great connections because of it.
I left Berkeley, came home, and I didn't shut down. I actually like locked in and I couldn't find a job for a couple of years.
So I spent that couple of years. Baby, I learned logic inside and out. I learned how to make tracks. I learned how to produce.
I learned a flurry of repertoire. I got more into my piano. I got more into my playing and singing.
I studied more music. I watched other artists perform live and studied them.
And I think I think these last I want to say.
I started my musical journey in musicals at 13 or 12.
I want to say I started taking music seriously at like 14 and I'm 26 now. So I'll give it the last 12 years.
So I have spent these last 12 years.
Feel like I've been doing like a speed run on this thing called music to really figure it out and understand it.
And I'm trying to get into the magic of it all because for me, music is something music is otherworldly.
Music is magical. And I believe that of all art.
I believe the ability to create art is magic. It is otherworldly. It is a gift from what we don't understand.
I think talent is a gift from powers beyond us. For me as God, for somebody else, it might be the universe.
You know, I just think it's a gift. What is not a gift is skill.
Skill comes from craft work. Talent comes from God. But skill comes from doing the work.
Absolutely. Because you may have potential. That's the God given gift.
But you can only get so far in potential.
Potential is not going to keep you in the room. Potential might get you in the room, but it's not going to keep you in there.
Because at some point somebody is going to show up with more skill than your potential has and get you out of the gig.
After like adolescence, it really doesn't do anything for you.
And so this all rounds out to the purpose of this podcast.
I made this episode because to be perfectly frank, I jumped the gun on the podcast and didn't have topics lined up to talk about.
Though I have a lot to talk about as I learned from my 100 days of practice that I failed at horribly.
I got to 72% completion. That's a C. So that's not bad. You know, a little pat on the back. I made it 72 days.
But what I realized on that journey is I didn't want to share with you all how I practiced because I'm transparent, but I'm not that transparent.
Only certain people get to hear me crack. But I did want to share. I wanted to share the magic.
And this was the tagline I thought about on my mission for this show.
I want to share the magic with you all while demystifying the craft work of it all.
Because the talent and the art that gets made is the magic.
But how you get to the point of making the art, how you develop your skills, how you book your gigs, how you learn to maneuver the industry as a whole, the arts community as a whole.
That's craft work. That's skill. That's demystifying the craft work.
And I've had all these people that I've mentioned up to this point have both amplified the magic of being in the arts for me while simultaneously demystifying the craft of it all.
And so I feel as though most of those people are now retired that I've named.
And so I feel like the torch is being passed to me.
I feel like it's my turn now in my educational and artistic journey to start doing that.
To start demystifying the craft while amplifying the magic.
And that's what getting in tune means. I want you to get in tune with yourself.
I want you to get in tune with what it takes to be a performer, what it takes to be a writer, what it takes to call, what it's going to take to be able to call yourself an artist in every sense of the word.
And I think that's, I think that's everything. I think that's my journey until now.
I'm currently teaching now. If I didn't, I didn't share that. I didn't share where we are now.
We did the whole where I came from. I moved to Georgia.
And I've spent the last three years of my life teaching and endeavoring into something I will touch upon this before I leave.
I will touch upon the fact that in those three, two of the three years I've been here.
I spent learning a skill that I hadn't learned in all those other things.
And that was learning how to be a background singer, learning what it takes to be part of that support team because I've played for other people before I've taught the people and I've led, but learning how to be a background singer was unlike anything else I'd ever
experienced because in choir, you have your sheet music and you can go home and learn your part on your own, and you're not the only person singing your part.
Right.
When I did musicals with Mrs to Chinsky. She recorded our parts for us we had rehearsals, and she would give you your part and you'd learn to sing it and sometimes you wouldn't be the only person on your part.
But I never had the skill of go home listen to this record pull your part out of this record, and they show up and you'll be the only person singing it so if you sing it wrong the parts invisible.
The parts gone.
I had a couple of people who I was able to really sit under and learn this skill from and that's been my good friend Gigi that's my good friend Tasha Renee, that's been Ray Evans, and they kind of have all had successful careers as a background as background
vocalist, and have kind of taken me under the wing to teach me everything I know.
And so, I've sort of had to me. I've had a privileged experience in music, like this is not everybody's journey I feel like a lot of people take this journey alone.
And I always thought I was cheated because my, my family doesn't do music, and I have friends whose parents are singers but just listening to this out loud like what a team of exposure, I've been gifted with to sort of train up under.
To get funny.
Do you remember being younger and having the conversation over and over about wanting a mentor.
Like I said, I'm like, no, I'm not saying that I'm not like, he just wanted like one mentor, and like, listening to his back I'm like you've had.
Nine.
Having so many. I know. And I'm like, it's so funny when you're in it. You're like yeah just I just want like one like master ugui you know like I really want just like one person, like Mr Miyagi.
so many amazing mentors that were really good at what they did.
And I'm like, is that better?
I mean, there's probably an argument to be had there.
Like, is that better than having one person that's good at what you want to do, you know,
versus a team of people that are really amazing at what they do?
And then you can learn from all of them.
So in hindsight, and now mind you, I'm still young.
I'm 26.
I've got a whole, God bless, maybe three quarters of a century left on me if God wants to bless
me to 101 of endeavoring this life and this creative journey.
But to this point, I really think I've been blessed with all this mentorship.
And yes, I think having all those people from all those different backgrounds has informed
me better than any one singular person could have.
Because I only know what I know.
You only know what you know.
But if we together come together and inform somebody and then they have somebody else
that knows what they know, it's like, it really takes a village.
And so I want to invite some of that village right here on to get in tune.
I want to reach out to people.
I want to talk to them here.
I guess we're wrapping it up.
Before I leave, thank you all for listening so much.
Thank you, Amanda, for coming on last minute and really fleshing out this first episode
with me.
I think I really enjoyed this episode.
I think this was a good episode.
I think this is a good start into getting to know your host.
And now I can get into the good business of hosting.
And I want to tell you all that there are some segments that I'm going to add to this
show as we go on.
And you can kind of lean into them now.
Part of this educational journey would be unfulfilled if you couldn't ask me questions.
And obviously we're not live.
So on my website, if you go to my Instagram bio and click on the link in my bio, on my
website at the bottom, there is a couple of forms.
One says ask Asher.
Now my middle name is Asher and it means blessed and happy in Hebrew or share.
And I want to help you find your happy.
That's actually what I wrote in the little bio for the thing.
So I want you to ask me any questions you have that you think I could answer.
Don't come on here asking me about your man troubles.
Like I'm not going to get on my podcast and play Delilah.
You want Delilah, you call into Delilah's show and she'll help you much better than
I can.
But ask me anything that you feel that you will want me or literally any of the guests
I have on the show to answer and I'll do my best to help you out.
And it's anonymous.
I don't see your email.
I don't see your name.
It's an anonymous form.
Just come up with an alias so you know it's your question and write in and ask me.
The other feature I have loaded up says, put me on.
Now Amanda knows this.
Any of my friends that have ever been in a car with me or anywhere where there's a speaker,
if my friends have good music, if they have songs I like, I'm going to play them.
If an acquaintance I've met three times has good music, I'm going to show everybody I
know.
If a stranger who opens up for a celebrity that I've gone to go see has good music, I'm
going to leave that concert and show everybody I can this music.
And I figured that make a great segment for this podcast.
So I made a form for you to submit music to me, whether it's your own, whether it's an
artist you really like that you feel like doesn't get enough attention, whether it's
a friend of yours, whether it's a family member, put me on.
Fill out the information, fill out the form, send me their music.
Tell me if you want me to talk about it on air or not.
I'm going to make an Apple music playlist, a Spotify playlist, a YouTube playlist, and
maybe a Google music playlist of all this music and conglomerate it.
Is that a word conglomerate?
I might not be using it right.
So we're going to just sign another word.
I'm going to assemble the playlist of all the songs that you all send in plus things
that I want to put you onto.
And I really just want to turn get in tune into that village.
I want this to be your one stop shop for something inspirational, for something informative,
for something humorous.
And I want to help you all get in tune.
And with that, thank you all for listening.
Have a wonderful day.
Have a good night.