WEBVTT

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warning, use of violence, profanity, rude humor,

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and the portrayal of drug and alcohol use. Do

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you like potato soup? Welcome to Dummies with

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Dice. We have potato soup cooking behind us,

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so. By our chef, Kelly. Welcome to Dummies and

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Dice, Dungeons and Dragons' actual play podcast

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that follows three not -so -average dummies of

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our world that get caught up in a magical storm

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and try to find a way back home. I'm not going

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to say survive, because you guys aren't surviving.

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You're doing great. You're doing great. You're

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just doing great. We are surviving. So, I am

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Tristan Hayes, and I am your Dummy Master. Question

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of the day. What book series would your characters

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want to live inside of? Oh, easy. Okay, go ahead.

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Hey, I'm Kelly Lee, and I play Miss Muffin. She's

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a crazy cat lady rogue. You know that. You know

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that, Sarah. She's definitely going to live in

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Harry Potter. Everybody picks Harry Potter. Okay.

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Read. Hi, everybody. My name's Ryan Tucker. Here,

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I play a Splee -Stick Sock Jelly. I'm the hobo

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trashmaster cleric of the God of Rumpke. I am

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the MacGyver of all things trash and garbage.

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And my character would want to live into the

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Game of Thrones series. Oof. That's an intense

00:02:03.700 --> 00:02:06.379
one to live inside of. Intense as fuck. Like,

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where at? Where's he going to be a part of? The

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Night's Watch? Fuck no. He's at Danny's garden,

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the wall. You know nothing. I want to be there

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after the Nightwalkers are gone. Yeah. What part,

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though? Not the Lancasters. Don't join them.

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No, I can't think of incest. Yeah. Seriously.

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Not with seriously. I don't know. She's dead.

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She's smushed. One of them. One of them. One

00:02:42.439 --> 00:02:46.479
of them. Hey, Nate here. My character's Duke

00:02:46.479 --> 00:02:49.719
Crystal. He's the slightly drug -addicted level

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9 barbarian warlock of the group. And, uh...

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Lord of the Rings has a book series, right? Yeah.

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Oh, yeah. Yeah, I never watched it. I read it.

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I always watch the movies. Yeah. Oh, I never

00:03:05.330 --> 00:03:07.509
read it either. Yeah, I definitely watched it.

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Sorry, yeah. God, it's good. I bet reading this

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way better. It is. You lose out so much. It's

00:03:13.250 --> 00:03:15.349
ridiculous. But I feel like that'd be a good

00:03:15.349 --> 00:03:17.770
book series. Oh, yeah. That was a great one.

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That's where I would go immediately. No, I don't

00:03:19.789 --> 00:03:23.050
think Duke would be on the good side of things.

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He'd definitely be helping Zara. I would live

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inside of it. He would make Schmeagle his pet.

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Bitch. You mean... Yeah. I don't even think...

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I think Duke would just kill him out of annoyance.

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So once he did too many, like... Just quit that.

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You mean... You just, like, let him pet the ring

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a couple times a day as long as you get his tours

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done. Not even. I just kind of like... I do,

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like, the John Cena, like, hand wave. You can't

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see me. Well, Expelliarmus. Expelliarmus? Yeah.

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Avada Kedavra. Avada Kedavra. I said it first.

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You're grounded. All right, well, where we left

00:04:01.439 --> 00:04:05.599
off... You missed it. I fell on my belly. Where

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we left off, Duke, you had ripped the top of

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the cage off and released Minerva. Yes. She pretty

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much just dog -walked the devil that was left,

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so we got... She's been beneficial. Bargura,

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that's climbing the cage and keeps getting knocked

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back down from the cage, and Bargura... That

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is on Flea Stick and Miss Muffin up the stairs.

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What's he called again? Bargoola. Bargoola. Bargoola.

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You got to put a tongue roll in there. Bargoola.

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It looks like we left. Oh, yeah. We finished

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with Minerva putting down the bearded devil.

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So that would put us with Miss Muffin as your

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turn. You are about face to face with the Bargoola.

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And you guys are inside that plant growth thing.

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But we broke free of it. You broke free. So I

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can stab him. Yeah, you can stab him. With my

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dagger. You know, good one. I'll get to it. 15

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plus 9 to hit. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that hit. That

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will not hit. 1d4 plus 5. I rolled a 4, so 9.

00:05:12.079 --> 00:05:15.480
9 damage. Pretty good. Right off the bat. Right

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off the bat. Right off the dagger. In his stomach.

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Testons fall out. Almost fall out. Almost. He's

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tooting out the front. He's visually disgusting.

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He's tooting out of the front. Okay, anything

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else? I have an insult. Yeah, I have a second

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-hand dagger that I can slice his guts the rest

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of the way. Go for it. He's already shitting

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out of his belly button. Okay, 11 plus 9 to hit.

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Yeah. And... No, he's got a 25. Six damage. Six

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damage total. Yeah. Okay, well, yeah, he is definitely

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farting out the front, for sure. He's not dead.

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He's farting out multiple holes. He's not dead,

00:05:54.120 --> 00:05:55.959
though. No, he's close. He's farting out holes.

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I mean, he's farting out holes, so you can tell

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he's close as fuck. Please take your turn. All

00:06:01.319 --> 00:06:03.680
right, so he's right up on me, right? Yeah. You

00:06:03.680 --> 00:06:05.060
and Ms. Muffin are side by side. Keep it where

00:06:05.060 --> 00:06:07.819
it matters. Keep it where it matters. All right,

00:06:07.899 --> 00:06:09.660
he's the one with his guts hanging out? Yeah.

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All righty. Guts are hanging by his nuts. Farting.

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Farting. Up front. Will they like fall down and

00:06:18.290 --> 00:06:19.930
get tucked up? Yeah, they're flipped up under.

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He swung them up like a cloth. No, stop. Too

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much. To his body. When he was running or something,

00:06:26.110 --> 00:06:28.129
it was like ladder golf. Yeah. These are like

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the rope swings around the plate. It's just like.

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Yeah. All right. Please stick with that beautiful

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description. What are you going to do? All right.

00:06:35.949 --> 00:06:39.949
I am just going to take my staff and try to rip

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his gut down, bro. Staff? Sorry, my dragon slayer.

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Yeah. Okay. 16 plus 3, 19. Yeah, I was getting

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good rolls. I haven't rolled yet. Too bad. We'll

00:06:58.089 --> 00:07:04.649
see. How about a small? 7 plus 3. 7 plus 3 damage.

00:07:04.910 --> 00:07:08.629
Dragon slayer sword. Okay, yeah, you come through.

00:07:10.060 --> 00:07:12.480
slice him good and you just see everything start

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falling out completely. It untucks from his balls

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and his dick and flops out and he falls down

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the stairs and kind of rolls back down the stairs.

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Barf. Barf. Barf again. Yeah. Alright, it's the

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Barf -a -goo -roo's turn on Duke Crystal. We

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won. His asshole literally ripped off. This is

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the end of the one. Yeah, that one gets back

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up from the bottom of the stairs. Okay. No. Actually,

00:07:39.449 --> 00:07:42.610
when you see that Bargura fall off the bottom

00:07:42.610 --> 00:07:44.490
stairs, you see his body kind of just dissolve

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into this, like, black, ikaru -like goo shit.

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Even grosser. Yeah. So... He is going to do his

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bonus action to leap up there. Are you? Do crystal?

00:07:57.610 --> 00:08:02.029
Yeah. He's coming. Tormenting bite. Oh, my God.

00:08:02.149 --> 00:08:06.250
Jesus. Four plus seven. No. Okay. What's the

00:08:06.250 --> 00:08:09.569
other thing he does? Oh, yeah. Crash. 15 plus

00:08:09.569 --> 00:08:19.069
7. Yes. Okay, that's 1d10. 4 plus 4 bludgeoning

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damage. 4 plus 4? Yes. I believe I'm still enraged,

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right? Yeah. Super. Yeah. Okay. All right, well,

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that was his turn. Duke Crystal, it's your turn.

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All right. Let me look at my... Provisions here.

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I'm going to decide whether I want to hit him

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in the face with something metal and heavy or

00:08:44.779 --> 00:08:48.840
hit him with something pretty and flashy with

00:08:48.840 --> 00:08:54.279
a command word. Fleshy. Fleshy? No. I don't have

00:08:54.279 --> 00:08:58.080
any fleshlights to throw at him. You can have

00:08:58.080 --> 00:09:02.179
one in my purse. Why do you have one in your

00:09:02.179 --> 00:09:04.980
purse? I have whatever Minerva had. How close

00:09:04.980 --> 00:09:10.460
is Minerva? Minerva, she's like right next to

00:09:10.460 --> 00:09:12.700
you. She's about, she's 10 feet from you exactly,

00:09:12.879 --> 00:09:14.860
to your right. So I don't want to blow her up

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with a thunderclaw. It would probably be unpleasant.

00:09:16.960 --> 00:09:18.679
All right, I'm going to smack him in the face

00:09:18.679 --> 00:09:21.759
with a greatsword, I guess. Okay. It seems like

00:09:21.759 --> 00:09:27.759
the only approach. Sliced his nose off. How's

00:09:27.759 --> 00:09:34.860
a, you know, 16 plus 9? That will not hit This

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gorilla skin is tough, but not that tough. Get

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out of town! So 3 plus 5, 8. 2d6 fire. 8 on the

00:09:54.639 --> 00:09:57.559
first hit? First damage? Or regular damage? And

00:09:57.559 --> 00:09:59.919
I doubt he's going to take much fire since he's...

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Well, he might. Oh, two fire damage. Yeah, he

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shrugs off a bit of it. Alright, and repeat.

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Repeat. Okay, now make me your deck save. Yes.

00:10:15.690 --> 00:10:18.690
To try to hang on to the cagey cage. It's not

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really going to matter. I need to reroll that.

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It was leaning in between two numbers. I wish

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it wouldn't have. It's a bigger number. Four.

00:10:27.470 --> 00:10:29.990
Four. Yeah. Okay, so let's see. What can I do

00:10:29.990 --> 00:10:32.429
that really sucks here? Well, all you can really

00:10:32.429 --> 00:10:34.789
do is just fall. So let's take some fall damage.

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Which is about... Wings! So catch the air! Maybe

00:10:41.809 --> 00:10:45.649
with a good deck save. Yeah, sure. Let's see.

00:10:45.809 --> 00:10:51.269
Take one. Okay. And two. So three bludgeoning

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damage as you fall to the floor. So one or two?

00:10:54.549 --> 00:10:56.889
Because I'm enraged. Two, because it was a crit

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fail. So you what? Bump your knee? Yes, he bumps

00:11:01.169 --> 00:11:03.549
his knee in a lava rock. I'm immune to fires.

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Okay, well, that's your turn. Yeah, I'm going

00:11:05.950 --> 00:11:09.450
to do the fire. Oh, there's an imp alive. He

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sees what happens to the bug Gura as it falls

00:11:12.210 --> 00:11:13.669
and just turns into a goo, and he's just going

00:11:13.669 --> 00:11:16.230
to dive right over to that goo and just roll

00:11:16.230 --> 00:11:19.250
inside of it. Ew. Because he can't really get

00:11:19.250 --> 00:11:20.570
to you guys yet, so he's going to do that. Yeah,

00:11:20.590 --> 00:11:21.889
I'm going to kill him quick. I don't like that.

00:11:22.650 --> 00:11:24.909
Like, what is he charging himself up with? Like

00:11:24.909 --> 00:11:26.669
he's going to turn into another Balgura or some

00:11:26.669 --> 00:11:28.769
shit. I don't like that. Minerva, it's her turn.

00:11:28.830 --> 00:11:31.409
So, obviously, this Balgura is about to get fucking.

00:11:33.909 --> 00:11:36.210
Looking at the wrong person. Look at her stats.

00:11:37.350 --> 00:11:39.549
All right. She's close enough that she's just

00:11:39.549 --> 00:11:42.929
going to do her little blades of light that she's

00:11:42.929 --> 00:11:46.429
going to pop out. That's a 12 plus 10. So, yeah,

00:11:46.470 --> 00:11:54.100
that'll definitely hit. Two. And six. Eight plus

00:11:54.100 --> 00:12:01.539
ten magical damage. Nice. Yes. These blades come

00:12:01.539 --> 00:12:04.559
out and just slicing him up. Blood's flying.

00:12:05.259 --> 00:12:07.899
Bright lights are flashing. Miss Muffins, your

00:12:07.899 --> 00:12:11.080
turn. There's an imp rolling in the goo at the

00:12:11.080 --> 00:12:13.559
bottom of the stairs. Oh, it was the imp doing

00:12:13.559 --> 00:12:17.740
it? Yes. He is thirty feet from you. Like down

00:12:17.740 --> 00:12:20.389
the stairs. That is my movement speed. Can I

00:12:20.389 --> 00:12:23.070
get imp in the definition, please? Yes. What

00:12:23.070 --> 00:12:28.809
is an imp? What is it? As I'm walking to it.

00:12:28.809 --> 00:12:31.129
Imagine a very, very miniature demon. Yeah, like

00:12:31.129 --> 00:12:33.269
a little... With little wings and a tail. About

00:12:33.269 --> 00:12:36.909
three foot tall. So, what's it? Lucy? Yeah, Lucy.

00:12:37.149 --> 00:12:39.309
Wait, wait, wait. Back the truck up. What? So,

00:12:39.309 --> 00:12:41.549
it's actively rolling in the goo right now? Yes.

00:12:41.610 --> 00:12:45.070
So, it doesn't notice me. It definitely sees

00:12:45.070 --> 00:12:47.169
you guys at the top of the stairs. But it's probably

00:12:47.169 --> 00:12:48.730
more focused on... But I mean, yeah, he's just

00:12:48.730 --> 00:12:53.830
rolling a goo. So I can sneak attack him. How

00:12:53.830 --> 00:12:56.110
far away is it? It can do a bonus action to sneak,

00:12:56.250 --> 00:12:57.909
and then you have to make a stealth check, and

00:12:57.909 --> 00:13:01.090
then if you succeed, then you can do your action

00:13:01.090 --> 00:13:02.850
to attack from stealth, yes. And you'll have

00:13:02.850 --> 00:13:04.230
advantage, if that's what you're meaning. And

00:13:04.230 --> 00:13:06.289
do your sneak attack. That's what you want to

00:13:06.289 --> 00:13:11.169
do? Okay. Waiting. I got the finger. Index finger.

00:13:11.250 --> 00:13:13.309
The finger of pause. Yeah, the finger of pause.

00:13:14.079 --> 00:13:16.179
So I'm just going to roll for stealth, sneak

00:13:16.179 --> 00:13:18.139
down there, and attack him. Roll for stealth,

00:13:18.220 --> 00:13:19.919
and then I'll roll his perception, see if he

00:13:19.919 --> 00:13:21.759
sees you. 12 plus 12. This fucking imp's going

00:13:21.759 --> 00:13:25.419
to get sent to oblivion. He got a nat 20. He

00:13:25.419 --> 00:13:28.840
saw you. He sees you. I rolled more than him

00:13:28.840 --> 00:13:31.179
still, though. I got a nat 20. You got the Honda

00:13:31.179 --> 00:13:35.639
Odyssey. Huh? Well, you could re -roll yours

00:13:35.639 --> 00:13:37.879
if you want to see if you actually get a nat

00:13:37.879 --> 00:13:41.440
20 as well, but that would be insane. No, I just

00:13:41.440 --> 00:13:44.549
got 17 plus 12. Does that even roll? It just

00:13:44.549 --> 00:13:48.309
went. It just fell straight down. He's got eight

00:13:48.309 --> 00:13:51.269
weights on that dice. I'm Miss Muffin and I have

00:13:51.269 --> 00:13:54.970
a puppet little cat catcher. What do you call

00:13:54.970 --> 00:13:59.029
this? Roll tray. Sounds like a hair. Well, it's

00:13:59.029 --> 00:14:01.110
leather, too. Okay, well, you failed your stealth

00:14:01.110 --> 00:14:03.029
check, so he does see you. As he's rolling around,

00:14:03.149 --> 00:14:05.610
you just see, like, one eye, like, peek out and

00:14:05.610 --> 00:14:07.950
see you coming. So you can still go and attack

00:14:07.950 --> 00:14:09.169
him if you like. Yeah, I'm still going to stab

00:14:09.169 --> 00:14:10.769
him. Like an Olympic swimmer, he, like, turned

00:14:10.769 --> 00:14:13.129
his... With the eye that he peeked and looked

00:14:13.129 --> 00:14:16.009
at me with, I'm going to run my dagger into that

00:14:16.009 --> 00:14:18.090
eye. Okay, make my constitution save as you step

00:14:18.090 --> 00:14:22.049
in this eker. He rolls a newness. A constitution

00:14:22.049 --> 00:14:27.990
save! Yeah. Yeah. One second. Roll with advantage

00:14:27.990 --> 00:14:32.950
luck point. You hit the ectoplasm. 19 plus 3.

00:14:33.110 --> 00:14:35.429
All right, yeah, you feel this goo kind of trying

00:14:35.429 --> 00:14:38.769
to get a hold of you, and then it kind of realizes

00:14:38.769 --> 00:14:41.809
that your body is not suitable and falls back

00:14:41.809 --> 00:14:50.830
off of you. So, yeah, make your attack. How many

00:14:50.830 --> 00:14:53.649
luck points do I have left? Probably none. That's

00:14:53.649 --> 00:14:55.289
what I was trying to find out. Well, you're supposed

00:14:55.289 --> 00:14:59.210
to keep track. You used, like, two already. Three.

00:15:00.570 --> 00:15:03.330
I know you used some before. I'd say probably

00:15:03.330 --> 00:15:08.389
out. Alright, well, uh, three plus nine. Three

00:15:08.389 --> 00:15:16.610
plus nine to hit? Yeah. Um, sorry. No, that will

00:15:16.610 --> 00:15:21.590
not hit. Ha! Okay, it's your turn. That's false.

00:15:22.250 --> 00:15:25.480
Uh, flea stick, your turn. Same thing. There's

00:15:25.480 --> 00:15:27.559
an imp down at the bottom of the stairs. Miss

00:15:27.559 --> 00:15:30.019
Muffin whiffing some attacks. It's rolling in

00:15:30.019 --> 00:15:34.879
the goo. Sucking. Sucking. That's not sucking.

00:15:35.580 --> 00:15:38.879
I guess it can be sucking the goo. No, I said

00:15:38.879 --> 00:15:40.899
I sucked. Oh, I thought you said you were sucking.

00:15:41.299 --> 00:15:43.019
No, I ain't sucking nothing. There ain't none

00:15:43.019 --> 00:15:45.440
of them near me. Well, the imp is 30 feet at

00:15:45.440 --> 00:15:47.259
the bottom of the stairs. Okay. I mean, you could

00:15:47.259 --> 00:15:48.299
get close, but you're going to have to make a

00:15:48.299 --> 00:15:51.500
con save like she did. Or range attack. I never

00:15:51.500 --> 00:15:53.779
used a picture like the mojo when it busts on

00:15:53.779 --> 00:15:56.639
the floor. Austin Pally. Yeah, Austin Pally.

00:15:56.860 --> 00:16:01.000
My mojo. I gotta lick that up. You don't need

00:16:01.000 --> 00:16:05.200
it, Austin. We are two sexy bitches, yeah. Can

00:16:05.200 --> 00:16:07.720
I do a guiding ball and not hit anybody? Hit

00:16:07.720 --> 00:16:10.279
the imp? Yeah. At the imp? Yeah, you can shoot

00:16:10.279 --> 00:16:12.860
at the imp. Attack roll. It's gonna be a second

00:16:12.860 --> 00:16:16.299
level. It's hard too, so hopefully, you know.

00:16:17.419 --> 00:16:22.159
Get your nuts. Hot nuts. Look on. Is that the

00:16:22.159 --> 00:16:25.279
guiding bolt? Hot nuts? 16. Peanuts. Yes, that'll

00:16:25.279 --> 00:16:30.240
hit. Ew. Plus. Plus nine. Yeah, that's it. All

00:16:30.240 --> 00:16:34.059
right, so 5D6. My baseball game sucks ass. 5D6?

00:16:34.139 --> 00:16:37.360
Yes, sir. Give me some, like, candy roasted walnuts

00:16:37.360 --> 00:16:40.679
or something. Two, so six. Pecans. That, too.

00:16:40.759 --> 00:16:43.000
Seven, eight. Peanuts? Pecans are okay. That's

00:16:43.000 --> 00:16:47.899
like offering me a bowl of peanuts. 14. All right,

00:16:47.899 --> 00:16:50.320
do that. That was four. I was like, I don't want

00:16:50.320 --> 00:16:53.110
that. Yeah, he's dead. So yeah, this guiding

00:16:53.110 --> 00:16:55.409
bull, Miss Muffin, comes flying past your shoulder

00:16:55.409 --> 00:16:57.070
and you see Flea Stick standing up there in his

00:16:57.070 --> 00:17:01.350
holy light of trash and blacks this imp's body

00:17:01.350 --> 00:17:05.670
and soul away and he's like fries in the goo

00:17:05.670 --> 00:17:07.769
and becomes one with it. Glad you cleared that

00:17:07.769 --> 00:17:10.009
up. I was talking about nuts. Yeah, I know. He

00:17:10.009 --> 00:17:30.829
threw some hot nuts. Hey, it's your dummy master,

00:17:30.950 --> 00:17:33.109
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00:18:22.420 --> 00:18:27.059
code. Thank you, W Energy. It's the Bargulo's

00:18:27.059 --> 00:18:31.000
turn. He is going to... Die! He's going to trip

00:18:31.000 --> 00:18:33.319
and die. He's going to strength... He's going

00:18:33.319 --> 00:18:35.059
to make a strength check, posing strength check

00:18:35.059 --> 00:18:36.460
to Minerva to try to shove her back into the

00:18:36.460 --> 00:18:40.559
cage. Oh. That's a fail. Oh, wait, I guess I

00:18:40.559 --> 00:18:44.019
can roll for her. Yeah, that's a fail. So, yeah,

00:18:44.059 --> 00:18:45.420
he doesn't do anything there. Duke, it's your

00:18:45.420 --> 00:18:47.519
turn. All right. I didn't want him to jump on

00:18:47.519 --> 00:18:50.660
fire. Can I fly with him? Yeah. Oh, yeah. He

00:18:50.660 --> 00:18:53.220
can fly. Use your wings! I don't remember what

00:18:53.220 --> 00:18:55.099
we did for him. Bonus action. Can we ride on

00:18:55.099 --> 00:18:58.930
him? No. I mean... He'll drop us. It's up to

00:18:58.930 --> 00:19:00.670
Duke if he's in demon mode and he doesn't carry

00:19:00.670 --> 00:19:02.750
you on his back. I mean, I could do that. I could

00:19:02.750 --> 00:19:05.329
blast him with magic from down low. It's up to

00:19:05.329 --> 00:19:06.809
you. What you want to do? It'll have to be disadvantage

00:19:06.809 --> 00:19:09.170
because you're low ground if you're going to

00:19:09.170 --> 00:19:11.730
hit him with the Eldritch Blast because they're

00:19:11.730 --> 00:19:14.470
like 20 feet up above you. Looks like I'm flying.

00:19:15.109 --> 00:19:18.009
Okay. Bonus action flying? Yeah. You want to

00:19:18.009 --> 00:19:21.029
call it? Yeah. Same movement speed? It's only

00:19:21.029 --> 00:19:23.089
20 feet up, so you can definitely make it up

00:19:23.089 --> 00:19:24.349
there. But you don't have to make a check to

00:19:24.349 --> 00:19:26.240
climb. Since you're going to fly up, so. Alright,

00:19:26.240 --> 00:19:31.200
so fly up. Yep. And then... I'm ahead with the

00:19:31.200 --> 00:19:33.279
old flame tone. We'll try to take his head from

00:19:33.279 --> 00:19:37.440
behind, hopefully. Yeah, he's still... He's,

00:19:37.460 --> 00:19:41.259
like, wrestling with old Nerva. 19? Yeah. Out

00:19:41.259 --> 00:19:50.900
of hit. 4 plus 5, so 9. Physical. Or... 8 fire.

00:19:51.630 --> 00:19:53.910
Yeah, he's dead. Yeah, you come up behind him

00:19:53.910 --> 00:19:55.410
as he's wrestling with her and she's like, you're

00:19:55.410 --> 00:19:57.150
not shoving me back in this cage, boy! And you

00:19:57.150 --> 00:20:00.170
just... Back of the head with the great axe just

00:20:00.170 --> 00:20:03.329
fucking shaking him out. He's... Well, he dissolves.

00:20:03.329 --> 00:20:05.190
You see his goo kind of fall through the cage

00:20:05.190 --> 00:20:08.670
and land down into the lava. More goo! Fuck!

00:20:09.309 --> 00:20:13.910
Alright. Good job on that. I'm missing his goo,

00:20:13.930 --> 00:20:15.990
probably. Thanks, we're fucking awesome. Vanished.

00:20:16.029 --> 00:20:19.119
Most of it. Yeah, it's kind of falling. Yeah,

00:20:19.160 --> 00:20:21.099
they're a special type of creature, so their

00:20:21.099 --> 00:20:23.920
shit does some weird magic shit. Yeah, I didn't

00:20:23.920 --> 00:20:25.980
like that ant rolling in it. I was like, that's

00:20:25.980 --> 00:20:28.059
not a good sign. All right, so that disappears

00:20:28.059 --> 00:20:30.680
as well, the plant growth around you guys, because

00:20:30.680 --> 00:20:34.880
he's dead. Yeah, you finished it. Minerva, she

00:20:34.880 --> 00:20:37.859
comes out and she says... You, you guys probably

00:20:37.859 --> 00:20:40.460
found my scrolls, huh? While she's saying that,

00:20:40.500 --> 00:20:42.880
I'm walking over to pick up my lightning javelin

00:20:42.880 --> 00:20:44.759
and completely fucking ignoring her because I

00:20:44.759 --> 00:20:47.640
don't give a shit. She's like, okay, okay, yeah,

00:20:47.759 --> 00:20:50.700
I'll follow you over there and we'll talk about

00:20:50.700 --> 00:20:52.099
this. I mean, she can talk to them. We'll talk

00:20:52.099 --> 00:20:54.180
about this, yeah. She starts coming to the stairs

00:20:54.180 --> 00:20:55.859
and she comes up to you, Miss Muffin, where you

00:20:55.859 --> 00:20:59.099
were at the goo. She goes, so thanks. Did you

00:20:59.099 --> 00:21:01.759
guys find my scroll? You guys? I also found this.

00:21:01.960 --> 00:21:06.359
Cancer, her toy. Her toy? Oh, my God, you found

00:21:06.359 --> 00:21:09.819
me. Okay, well, thank you. And she just kind

00:21:09.819 --> 00:21:13.839
of puts it up inside of a bag. She's like, I'll

00:21:13.839 --> 00:21:17.019
keep that. Thank you. You're welcome. You found

00:21:17.019 --> 00:21:19.019
the memory shard? Good. Okay, you found my memory

00:21:19.019 --> 00:21:24.039
toy. You got me out. That was a good fight, honestly.

00:21:24.279 --> 00:21:25.299
She goes, I thought you guys were just going

00:21:25.299 --> 00:21:27.180
to leave me in that cage, but the big guy over

00:21:27.180 --> 00:21:31.359
there who ignored me, he got me out. So you guys

00:21:31.359 --> 00:21:33.900
are probably on the hunt for my scrolls, huh?

00:21:34.339 --> 00:21:38.980
Yes. And my cat. Your cat? I need the scrolls

00:21:38.980 --> 00:21:41.599
and need my cat. Where's your cat? Is the scrolls

00:21:41.599 --> 00:21:45.599
for your cat? Yeah. The scrolls aren't for your

00:21:45.599 --> 00:21:49.119
cat. I yell from across the room. Oh, okay. So

00:21:49.119 --> 00:21:52.240
the scrolls aren't for the cat. What do you need

00:21:52.240 --> 00:21:54.700
the scrolls for, then? To go home. To go home.

00:21:54.900 --> 00:21:56.779
Oh, okay. So you guys are trying to teleport

00:21:56.779 --> 00:21:59.869
somewhere. Gotcha. Cat can stay. The cat? Gotcha.

00:21:59.970 --> 00:22:01.710
I need my cat first. I can't go home. Where's

00:22:01.710 --> 00:22:05.329
your cat? I don't... What's the guy's name that

00:22:05.329 --> 00:22:08.730
took my cat? The dickhead. Oh, the dickhead guy

00:22:08.730 --> 00:22:11.130
that took... Oh, so you guys... Okay, so... Everybody

00:22:11.130 --> 00:22:12.750
knows he's the dickhead. And where the hell is

00:22:12.750 --> 00:22:14.390
my friggin' genie at? I can't remember his name.

00:22:14.470 --> 00:22:16.509
I can't remember any of it. Your genie? Your

00:22:16.509 --> 00:22:17.910
genie's with Rumpke. He's the dickhead in the

00:22:17.910 --> 00:22:21.089
sky who talks shit to everybody. That guy. Okay,

00:22:21.250 --> 00:22:23.470
so you're talking about my brother. Oh, well,

00:22:23.569 --> 00:22:27.900
I'm sorry. You have a brother? Yeah. So, yeah,

00:22:27.940 --> 00:22:30.819
my brother, he's a real piece of shit, so when

00:22:30.819 --> 00:22:33.140
he's trying to lock me away, he's trying to take

00:22:33.140 --> 00:22:36.119
my power. Oh, so you can't ask for my cat back.

00:22:36.519 --> 00:22:40.299
His name is Avernim. He's a piece of shit, but

00:22:40.299 --> 00:22:42.420
I'm guessing he pulled you from his world, from

00:22:42.420 --> 00:22:45.019
your worlds, and he's trying to go to your world,

00:22:45.079 --> 00:22:48.200
huh? There ain't shit there for him. Yeah, well,

00:22:48.319 --> 00:22:50.200
that's what he wants. He wants to take a world

00:22:50.200 --> 00:22:52.759
that doesn't have shit, bring his shit to it,

00:22:52.799 --> 00:22:54.759
and make it a not -good world that he can rule.

00:22:55.210 --> 00:22:56.849
That's his whole goal. Shit's just gonna get

00:22:56.849 --> 00:23:03.970
nuked real quick. What is a nuke? It is Minerva

00:23:03.970 --> 00:23:06.509
backwards. Have you ever seen a spell that creates

00:23:06.509 --> 00:23:10.529
a sun? A spell that creates a sun? There is daylight.

00:23:10.750 --> 00:23:15.750
Yeah, I've seen that one. Like burn you to your

00:23:15.750 --> 00:23:18.450
bones, the sun. Okay, yeah. I mean, we have disintegration.

00:23:18.529 --> 00:23:20.529
So it's kind of like... What did you call it?

00:23:20.549 --> 00:23:22.049
A nuke? Does it kill millions of people in one

00:23:22.049 --> 00:23:25.150
spell cast? Wow, no. It does not. We got thousands

00:23:25.150 --> 00:23:28.710
of those. Okay, well, let's say, you know, you

00:23:28.710 --> 00:23:30.849
may have some good work, but we'll see. I don't

00:23:30.849 --> 00:23:31.950
know. That's what his plan is. That's what he's

00:23:31.950 --> 00:23:33.910
going to do. Yeah, we're pretty self -destructive,

00:23:33.910 --> 00:23:39.130
too. Humans suck, okay? They suck. He's going

00:23:39.130 --> 00:23:42.069
to find out. She goes, so, let's get out of this

00:23:42.069 --> 00:23:45.650
pit. I know where no scroll is. I sent it to

00:23:45.650 --> 00:23:48.849
a good friend of mine. Her name is Uni. So we

00:23:48.849 --> 00:23:51.150
get to her and we'll figure out from there and

00:23:51.150 --> 00:23:54.190
get a plan and get you guys some help. Uni? Yes,

00:23:54.230 --> 00:23:58.170
Uni. She's a very magical creature. But we'll

00:23:58.170 --> 00:23:59.670
go find her. Anything you guys want to do in

00:23:59.670 --> 00:24:05.549
this pit before you leave? Look that bunny. Look

00:24:05.549 --> 00:24:08.089
that motherfucker. What's left of the devil,

00:24:08.190 --> 00:24:10.869
if there's anything. He died in the lava. Well,

00:24:10.890 --> 00:24:13.069
he's immune. His corpse is probably still immune.

00:24:13.309 --> 00:24:16.460
Yeah, give me an investigation check. You're

00:24:16.460 --> 00:24:17.720
only going to get one check, though, because

00:24:17.720 --> 00:24:19.259
you're going to run out of rage without fighting.

00:24:19.500 --> 00:24:24.720
Oh, true. Oh, that's fabulous. Three. Three?

00:24:24.819 --> 00:24:28.519
Yeah. You start to, like, search and loot through

00:24:28.519 --> 00:24:31.619
them, and then you feel your body starting to,

00:24:31.660 --> 00:24:33.420
like, shift back into human form, so you have

00:24:33.420 --> 00:24:36.460
to do a little quick step out of there before

00:24:36.460 --> 00:24:39.079
you can leave. I was going to say, is he about

00:24:39.079 --> 00:24:42.000
to get murdered? He's about to have damage. It's

00:24:42.000 --> 00:24:48.200
fine. He just melts. All right. Oh no, an arcana

00:24:48.200 --> 00:24:50.880
check! You got a sense that she has magic? Oh,

00:24:50.900 --> 00:24:54.140
never mind, I was a six. Alright. So, yeah, you

00:24:54.140 --> 00:24:57.140
guys saved Minerva. You have saved her. You found

00:24:57.140 --> 00:24:59.640
out that her brother is the big bad. Avronim.

00:25:01.319 --> 00:25:05.079
Minerva. Avronim, yeah. Backwards. It's her name

00:25:05.079 --> 00:25:10.799
backwards. Yeah, so it's her brother. Yeah. Maybe

00:25:10.799 --> 00:25:14.819
not so much twins, but yeah. Um... Siblings.

00:25:15.160 --> 00:25:17.900
Yeah, siblings. So yeah, you guys kind of leave

00:25:17.900 --> 00:25:20.640
this pit of hellfire, and you move up, and she

00:25:20.640 --> 00:25:25.160
says, so my friend Uni, she lives, you guys are

00:25:25.160 --> 00:25:26.720
familiar with the area, Neverwinterwood, I'm

00:25:26.720 --> 00:25:30.400
sure. So she goes, she lives in that area. We

00:25:30.400 --> 00:25:33.940
need to just go find her, and then we'll go from

00:25:33.940 --> 00:25:36.839
there. I've left my scroll with her. I've sent

00:25:36.839 --> 00:25:39.880
all these scrolls out, kind of like, oh my god,

00:25:39.960 --> 00:25:42.650
I almost said like Dragon Ball. Like Dragon Ball

00:25:42.650 --> 00:25:44.849
is like flying away. Like the stage play that

00:25:44.849 --> 00:25:46.490
goes around, Dragon Ball. Scattered like the

00:25:46.490 --> 00:25:48.130
Dragon Balls. Yeah, scattered like the Dragon

00:25:48.130 --> 00:25:50.730
Balls. Why not? That's perfect. Yeah, it is.

00:25:50.809 --> 00:25:52.430
I just was saying it from her. And if you haven't

00:25:52.430 --> 00:25:54.450
watched Dragon Ball, watch it. Yeah, if you haven't.

00:25:54.509 --> 00:25:56.109
Watched it. At least enough to see the scattering

00:25:56.109 --> 00:25:58.450
of the balls. Yeah. So yeah, that's kind of the

00:25:58.450 --> 00:26:01.210
situation we're in. She sent these balls, these

00:26:01.210 --> 00:26:05.349
scrolls to different locations. How many stars

00:26:05.349 --> 00:26:08.130
are on them? Yeah, each one has a star. You look

00:26:08.130 --> 00:26:09.650
at the other scrolls you've got, you see stars

00:26:09.650 --> 00:26:15.970
on them. So, yeah. Oh, my God. So, yeah. Yeah,

00:26:16.029 --> 00:26:17.930
we sent these scrolls off, so we need to go to

00:26:17.930 --> 00:26:19.809
Unique's. I know she's got one, and then we'll

00:26:19.809 --> 00:26:22.789
go from there. Okey -dokey. She's going to kind

00:26:22.789 --> 00:26:24.589
of lead the way. You guys make some travel for

00:26:24.589 --> 00:26:27.210
quite a bit because you have to go past, like,

00:26:27.349 --> 00:26:28.789
unless you guys want to go to Iron Spine Keep

00:26:28.789 --> 00:26:33.470
for anything. Nah. I want to get a move on finding

00:26:33.470 --> 00:26:35.390
my cat. Yeah, you got a chef that hired. You

00:26:35.390 --> 00:26:37.920
hired a good chef. do some stuff and that's yeah

00:26:37.920 --> 00:26:41.019
grab a ghoul's out there trying to split himself

00:26:41.019 --> 00:26:42.859
i guess or something find a female one of him

00:26:42.859 --> 00:26:47.259
it's possible it's possible um so yeah you adventure

00:26:47.259 --> 00:26:49.640
on you're traveling you're eating you're you're

00:26:49.640 --> 00:26:51.420
taking rest you're taking camps you're kind of

00:26:51.420 --> 00:26:54.359
learning more about minerva and her her lifestyle

00:26:54.359 --> 00:26:57.519
and what happened with the whole being attacked

00:26:57.519 --> 00:26:59.660
and then draining her power and stuff and she's

00:26:59.660 --> 00:27:01.900
kind of just living her life she's trying to

00:27:01.900 --> 00:27:03.380
do her thing she's trying to get her powers back

00:27:03.380 --> 00:27:05.059
but she's not really too worried about it because

00:27:05.059 --> 00:27:09.769
she's lived her life So yeah, make me a survival

00:27:09.769 --> 00:27:14.109
check as a group. As you're kind of starting

00:27:14.109 --> 00:27:16.029
to make your way towards the Neverwinter Wood.

00:27:17.210 --> 00:27:29.210
A familiar home. Thirteen. Eighteen. Right. Survival

00:27:29.210 --> 00:27:35.039
check. Oh no! Resurvivaled! I'd say you guys

00:27:35.039 --> 00:27:36.299
probably made it, because you guys both roll

00:27:36.299 --> 00:27:38.480
really good. The first one's better. Yeah, so

00:27:38.480 --> 00:27:40.319
you kind of are guiding your way through here,

00:27:40.460 --> 00:27:46.880
through the wood, and... Plus five, so... Yeah,

00:27:47.000 --> 00:27:50.839
that's good. So as you're kind of walking through

00:27:50.839 --> 00:27:53.279
these woods, you start to hear this, like, cacophony

00:27:53.279 --> 00:27:55.019
of shouts, just kind of shouting out through

00:27:55.019 --> 00:27:57.519
the woods, because it was all so quiet and silent.

00:27:57.539 --> 00:27:59.839
Did you say cacophony? Cacophony? Cacophony.

00:27:59.960 --> 00:28:01.980
I was like, what the fuck? Like a bunch of like,

00:28:02.039 --> 00:28:07.440
come on! Yelling through the trees. As you're

00:28:07.440 --> 00:28:09.279
looking through the trees, you see these like

00:28:09.279 --> 00:28:11.619
puffs of colorful smoke kind of like shooting

00:28:11.619 --> 00:28:14.500
up into the air. And then moments later, this

00:28:14.500 --> 00:28:16.339
tiny figure comes flying out of the woods and

00:28:16.339 --> 00:28:20.309
it's a sprite. It's like little winged. Tinkerbell

00:28:20.309 --> 00:28:22.170
type creature. A spritiddly little sprite. A

00:28:22.170 --> 00:28:24.430
spritiddly little sprite. They probably bite.

00:28:24.789 --> 00:28:26.910
She comes out and says, quickly, quickly, Uni

00:28:26.910 --> 00:28:28.910
the unicorn is in danger. And she takes off flying

00:28:28.910 --> 00:28:31.369
back through the woods. Uni's a unicorn? You

00:28:31.369 --> 00:28:35.049
didn't say that. She goes, oh yeah, my friend

00:28:35.049 --> 00:28:38.049
Uni's a unicorn. Yeah, she's magical. I said

00:28:38.049 --> 00:28:40.529
she was a magical creature. So yeah, this sprite

00:28:40.529 --> 00:28:41.849
takes off flying through the woods. You guys

00:28:41.849 --> 00:28:44.809
following? Uni the unicorn. Following her. Sure,

00:28:44.869 --> 00:28:48.890
yeah. I hope so. Joke's on you. It's not a unicorn.

00:28:49.029 --> 00:28:52.789
It's a unicron. Unicron! The Transformers! No!

00:28:54.470 --> 00:28:56.910
You're gonna destroy this world. They look like

00:28:56.910 --> 00:28:58.769
living creatures until they don't. What color

00:28:58.769 --> 00:29:02.289
is she? So as you guys kind of follow the sprite

00:29:02.289 --> 00:29:03.730
flying through, you kind of come to the edge

00:29:03.730 --> 00:29:06.190
of these trees, and you open up to this big open

00:29:06.190 --> 00:29:09.730
area, and you see these brightly colored puffball

00:29:09.730 --> 00:29:11.609
mushrooms kind of scattered across the area.

00:29:12.250 --> 00:29:18.029
You note it. Two. You notice two bugbears standing

00:29:18.029 --> 00:29:21.670
there, and then there's three cultists, the Thayan

00:29:21.670 --> 00:29:24.049
kind that you've been kind of going against recently.

00:29:24.450 --> 00:29:27.269
You see them standing there, three of them opposing

00:29:27.269 --> 00:29:29.349
against the bugbears, and behind them you see

00:29:29.349 --> 00:29:32.750
Yuni the unicorn. Yes, she is white. She's got

00:29:32.750 --> 00:29:35.769
this, like, flamey red -orangish hair, that mane

00:29:35.769 --> 00:29:40.230
and tail, and her feet by her hooves has, like,

00:29:40.250 --> 00:29:42.269
little... Little flukes of orange coming off

00:29:42.269 --> 00:29:46.150
the bottom. So you can see that she is laying

00:29:46.150 --> 00:29:48.329
on the ground injured and her unicorn horn is

00:29:48.329 --> 00:29:52.869
gone. It's off. What the fuck? Yeah, but you

00:29:52.869 --> 00:29:54.890
hear the cultists or the bugbears and they're

00:29:54.890 --> 00:29:56.569
like yelling at these cultists and they said,

00:29:56.630 --> 00:30:00.150
we want that unicorn. Their magic horns are magic

00:30:00.150 --> 00:30:03.109
and they taste great. And the cultists are like,

00:30:03.150 --> 00:30:05.230
nah, this is our unicorn. We're using it for

00:30:05.230 --> 00:30:07.549
its own magical purposes. And then they're all

00:30:07.549 --> 00:30:09.569
about to go and get into some shit. So what would

00:30:09.569 --> 00:30:11.450
you guys like to do? I'd like to investigate

00:30:11.450 --> 00:30:14.289
the mushroom. Okay. No! Are you trying to go,

00:30:14.329 --> 00:30:15.910
like, unnoticed by these guys, or are you just,

00:30:15.930 --> 00:30:17.410
like, walking out in the field? There is one

00:30:17.410 --> 00:30:18.990
that's, like... I thought it was one close by.

00:30:19.589 --> 00:30:21.710
There's one, yeah, 10 foot, like, ahead of you,

00:30:21.769 --> 00:30:24.289
but they are... Let's see how far they are from

00:30:24.289 --> 00:30:26.670
you, because you are pretty far from them. They're

00:30:26.670 --> 00:30:29.650
about 35 feet from you, the bugbears are. So

00:30:29.650 --> 00:30:31.849
you can investigate the one closest to you without

00:30:31.849 --> 00:30:34.269
being noticed yet. Yeah, I'll do that. Give me

00:30:34.269 --> 00:30:36.069
investigation. Or, I guess, what would it be?

00:30:36.230 --> 00:30:39.009
Investigation or, like, nature? To kind of check.

00:30:39.210 --> 00:30:42.450
I guess it'd be like medicine in a way, but...

00:30:42.450 --> 00:30:44.789
Nature medicine. Drugs are pretty much medicine,

00:30:45.049 --> 00:30:51.609
just in different doses. I think it tells me.

00:30:51.950 --> 00:30:55.509
Abusable. The way he checks it is just eats it.

00:30:55.650 --> 00:30:57.730
And I'm sure I have some experience in mushrooms,

00:30:58.049 --> 00:31:00.890
so... Yeah, just give me... Give me whatever.

00:31:01.210 --> 00:31:03.009
Investigation, nature, fucking whatever. We'll

00:31:03.009 --> 00:31:05.890
do whatever you're supposed to. Leave it. So.

00:31:07.149 --> 00:31:11.089
investigation oh fabulous a two two you don't

00:31:11.089 --> 00:31:12.609
notice anything but as you're kind of like looking

00:31:12.609 --> 00:31:15.769
around it is fungi it goes and pops up a big

00:31:15.769 --> 00:31:18.430
puff of spores to make me a constitution saving

00:31:18.430 --> 00:31:24.170
throw see that I can do eighteen plus five you

00:31:24.170 --> 00:31:26.190
pass as this like spores I've had a lot of shit

00:31:26.190 --> 00:31:29.670
right up in my face right up into your face sometimes

00:31:29.670 --> 00:31:33.650
sexually oh it is a nature check whoa no way

00:31:33.650 --> 00:31:37.329
it was a nature check What was it? I just finally

00:31:37.329 --> 00:31:40.690
found the thing. Yeah, you see the puffball mushroom.

00:31:40.730 --> 00:31:42.589
It kind of puffs and shoots a spore up into you

00:31:42.589 --> 00:31:44.910
and you save. Anything else you'd like to do?

00:31:45.089 --> 00:31:46.990
You guys want to do anything else? Save uni!

00:31:48.210 --> 00:31:49.650
Okay, how are you going to go about doing that?

00:31:49.769 --> 00:31:53.390
Because you're about to have a three -way fight,

00:31:53.509 --> 00:32:01.430
kind of. How big was that poof? Ten -foot emanation.

00:32:02.349 --> 00:32:05.250
It's kind of in the area. I'm going to start

00:32:05.250 --> 00:32:06.509
ripping them off and throwing them, probably.

00:32:07.369 --> 00:32:12.049
So, I will say this. Ahead, there is puffball

00:32:12.049 --> 00:32:17.869
patches throughout the field ahead of you. I

00:32:17.869 --> 00:32:19.150
see that. It's on the map, too, yeah, if you

00:32:19.150 --> 00:32:20.750
want to see that. But, yeah, there's puffballs

00:32:20.750 --> 00:32:22.529
throughout the map, kind of. There's one, like,

00:32:22.529 --> 00:32:24.289
ten foot from the cultist, another one on the

00:32:24.289 --> 00:32:26.769
other side, ten foot from him, kind of on either

00:32:26.769 --> 00:32:28.410
side. Imagine that'd be a great ambush weapon.

00:32:28.490 --> 00:32:30.849
Hold your breath, rip one off, throw it. Yeah,

00:32:30.849 --> 00:32:32.910
or you can, yeah, however you want to do it.

00:32:33.069 --> 00:32:35.670
You can just know that, funneling, attacking,

00:32:35.970 --> 00:32:39.750
fucking with it will make it poof. So, yeah.

00:32:40.750 --> 00:32:43.170
What do you guys like to do? Make a plan. You

00:32:43.170 --> 00:32:44.430
haven't been noticed yet. They're about to go

00:32:44.430 --> 00:32:48.170
duking it out with each other. I will cloak up

00:32:48.170 --> 00:32:51.009
and sneak my way to you. I will say you guys

00:32:51.009 --> 00:32:52.730
have long rested because it took you a good couple

00:32:52.730 --> 00:32:56.009
days to get it. Oh, we long rested. That means

00:32:56.009 --> 00:32:59.049
I have my luck points. Yeah, I'm going to cloak

00:32:59.049 --> 00:33:03.589
up and sneak my way around to you. Okay, give

00:33:03.589 --> 00:33:12.329
me a stealth check with advantage. 22. Not nat.

00:33:13.029 --> 00:33:17.910
Okay, very good. You're not noticed. Who are

00:33:17.910 --> 00:33:20.809
you trying to get to, though? Uni! She is way

00:33:20.809 --> 00:33:23.410
far away from you. She's behind everybody. She's

00:33:23.410 --> 00:33:27.430
80 feet from you. 80? Oh, shit. Yes, past all

00:33:27.430 --> 00:33:29.789
of the field of two bugbears, three cultists,

00:33:29.809 --> 00:33:31.450
and then a bigger cultist guarding her. Okay,

00:33:31.450 --> 00:33:32.769
so the closest bugbear... Are the bugbears with

00:33:32.769 --> 00:33:35.009
the cultists? No, they are, like, against each

00:33:35.009 --> 00:33:36.950
other. They're, like... Okay, so the bugbears

00:33:36.950 --> 00:33:40.210
are trying to help the unicorn. Well, they want

00:33:40.210 --> 00:33:43.630
to eat her. Oh. Yeah. They're all assholes. Yeah,

00:33:43.650 --> 00:33:45.289
you kind of just caught in, like, a middle of

00:33:45.289 --> 00:33:49.690
a two -way argument of these guys wanting to

00:33:49.690 --> 00:33:51.569
take the unicorn and eat it and the other ones

00:33:51.569 --> 00:33:53.859
are the bad guys you've been fighting. I'm not

00:33:53.859 --> 00:33:55.660
opposed to seeing how it plays out in the third

00:33:55.660 --> 00:33:58.400
party and whoever survives, but that's up to

00:33:58.400 --> 00:34:02.440
you guys. Well, we need uni. I didn't say anything

00:34:02.440 --> 00:34:05.839
about killing uni. I'm saying let bugbear and

00:34:05.839 --> 00:34:07.890
cultists... Kill each other, and whoever wins,

00:34:08.130 --> 00:34:09.969
we ambush them as soon as they win. And they're

00:34:09.969 --> 00:34:13.190
like, ha ha, we get to... Oh, smart. Smoke. Very

00:34:13.190 --> 00:34:16.849
smart. So I'm just invisible. So you're invisible.

00:34:17.070 --> 00:34:18.230
Are you going to do anything? Do you want to

00:34:18.230 --> 00:34:19.389
do anything while you're invisible, special?

00:34:19.670 --> 00:34:22.170
I'll ready up my daggers in case I need to attack.

00:34:22.250 --> 00:34:23.789
So I'm going to let you know now, two bugbears

00:34:23.789 --> 00:34:25.889
are going to hit pretty hard. Because you also

00:34:25.889 --> 00:34:29.170
are stealth and invisible, so you could do something

00:34:29.170 --> 00:34:34.630
and not be noticed. In a way. You know what I

00:34:34.630 --> 00:34:37.130
mean? You get, like, a surprise round to do something.

00:34:37.130 --> 00:34:39.769
Do I know if bugbears or the... Or if you don't

00:34:39.769 --> 00:34:41.190
want to do anything, you guys want to just, like,

00:34:41.230 --> 00:34:44.050
hold off and see how it plays out, you can. Do

00:34:44.050 --> 00:34:47.449
I know if those or the other things are able

00:34:47.449 --> 00:34:53.170
to be poisoned with my dagger? My venom? I would...

00:34:53.170 --> 00:34:55.829
I think... I don't know if you would know that,

00:34:55.929 --> 00:34:58.170
but you know that these things are pretty generic.

00:34:58.170 --> 00:35:00.710
They're not, like, fiends, like demons or devils.

00:35:00.710 --> 00:35:03.599
Okay, so I ready up my venom on my dagger. Okay.

00:35:03.619 --> 00:35:06.440
And I have my daggers readied up. Okay. For just

00:35:06.440 --> 00:35:08.460
in case shit pops off between you guys and them?

00:35:08.480 --> 00:35:10.340
Yeah, just in case shit. Okay. Police Tech, do

00:35:10.340 --> 00:35:11.699
you want to do anything or are you going to hold

00:35:11.699 --> 00:35:19.820
out and let them kind of see what happens? I'm

00:35:19.820 --> 00:35:21.400
going to get fight ready, but I'm going to just

00:35:21.400 --> 00:35:22.460
chill away. Okay, so you guys are just going

00:35:22.460 --> 00:35:24.239
to hold out and just kind of like let this unfold?

00:35:24.860 --> 00:35:28.579
Okay. Do I have movement speed still? Yeah, you

00:35:28.579 --> 00:35:29.980
haven't moved. You guys are still just like at

00:35:29.980 --> 00:35:31.719
the edge of the trees. Duke moved up like...

00:35:31.849 --> 00:35:33.610
five, ten foot to go check out that mushroom.

00:35:33.730 --> 00:35:36.869
I was going to say, we should all get ourselves

00:35:36.869 --> 00:35:39.849
by one of the mushroom piles and do, so we can

00:35:39.849 --> 00:35:42.449
be prepared for Duke's plan. To throw mushrooms

00:35:42.449 --> 00:35:46.829
at people? Yep. Poof them all. Okay. If that's

00:35:46.829 --> 00:35:49.469
what you want. I don't think we need to do that

00:35:49.469 --> 00:35:51.969
if we're going to kill whoever's left stranded

00:35:51.969 --> 00:35:53.869
at the end. I was thinking about that for the

00:35:53.869 --> 00:35:57.010
whole group. Awesome. Okay. So you guys are just

00:35:57.010 --> 00:35:59.010
going to hold out? Yeah. Okay. See who kills

00:35:59.010 --> 00:36:02.900
who. Okay, so. This glorious battle ensues before

00:36:02.900 --> 00:36:07.280
you as you guys make some rolls here to see who

00:36:07.280 --> 00:36:10.719
survives. I would imagine the bugbears. Well,

00:36:10.800 --> 00:36:13.420
there's more cultists, and they got magic. Bugbears

00:36:13.420 --> 00:36:16.119
probably got multi -attack. Okay, so you see

00:36:16.119 --> 00:36:18.619
these cultists zap some magic, and then you see

00:36:18.619 --> 00:36:20.440
one trip and fall, and the bugbear just stomps

00:36:20.440 --> 00:36:22.559
his head into the ground. That sounds about right.

00:36:22.679 --> 00:36:25.960
So one guy dies. The bugbear that stomped his

00:36:25.960 --> 00:36:27.860
head, he gets fucking shanked to death by a bunch

00:36:27.860 --> 00:36:31.780
of cultist daggers. So one on one. So now it's

00:36:31.780 --> 00:36:34.079
a three on one bugbear because there's two cultists

00:36:34.079 --> 00:36:35.760
left and the big guy regarding uni. All he's

00:36:35.760 --> 00:36:37.360
got to do is kill one more cultist and he can

00:36:37.360 --> 00:36:42.159
die. I want to see three. Okay, so he runs up

00:36:42.159 --> 00:36:44.559
and just annihilates one of the cultists. Just

00:36:44.559 --> 00:36:46.739
blows him to pieces with a shoulder ram. Blunt

00:36:46.739 --> 00:36:49.380
restops his heart and he falls down. But then

00:36:49.380 --> 00:36:51.769
the other cultist and the other bigger cultist

00:36:51.769 --> 00:36:54.110
that you see back guarding uni kind of just blasts

00:36:54.110 --> 00:36:55.489
some magic at him and you see his heart kind

00:36:55.489 --> 00:36:59.429
of give out and fall down so yeah there's a cultist

00:36:59.429 --> 00:37:03.829
fanatic um and an elemental cultist guarding

00:37:03.829 --> 00:37:06.349
kind of this like more higher standard while

00:37:06.349 --> 00:37:09.630
they're still shook while they're still shook

00:37:09.630 --> 00:37:12.409
is now you're ambushing nevada cadaver yes okay

00:37:12.409 --> 00:37:16.760
so roll me well fuck actually Oh, fuck. Oh, my

00:37:16.760 --> 00:37:19.860
God. They're anguished. Yeah, so you run forward

00:37:19.860 --> 00:37:22.639
and give me an attack roll. You're at two attack

00:37:22.639 --> 00:37:25.780
rolls. All right. Go for it. I mean, you all

00:37:25.780 --> 00:37:27.579
can. You said there was a bigger one? 14 plus

00:37:27.579 --> 00:37:31.860
5. There's one up there guarding Uni, yes. Okay.

00:37:31.940 --> 00:37:37.519
He is currently 60 feet from you, and Uni's kind

00:37:37.519 --> 00:37:39.019
of, like, right behind him. I'm going to smoke

00:37:39.019 --> 00:37:42.699
him with Elder's Blast. Okay. Oh, shit. I wait.

00:37:44.360 --> 00:37:47.170
All right. I wait. I wait, actually. Let's see

00:37:47.170 --> 00:37:49.909
if I can get it. What is it? Fifteen plus six?

00:37:50.449 --> 00:37:56.349
Uh, yes. And it's two beams. At my level. Actually,

00:37:56.610 --> 00:38:00.929
one second. I think it's two rolls. Yeah. Yeah,

00:38:00.989 --> 00:38:03.150
but you're lucky. At level eleven, I get three.

00:38:05.869 --> 00:38:09.510
Four... Eight damage? Eight damage? Oh, sorry,

00:38:09.630 --> 00:38:11.389
no, I rolled that wrong. I accidentally grabbed

00:38:11.389 --> 00:38:18.440
D6. My apologies. five inch Okay, five damage,

00:38:18.500 --> 00:38:20.860
and he's pushed back right or is it like a save

00:38:20.860 --> 00:38:23.619
don't you have do you have that thing? Maybe

00:38:23.619 --> 00:38:25.519
you didn't put that no. It's just forcing Okay

00:38:25.519 --> 00:38:29.699
All right. Yeah, so he gets hit with time. I

00:38:29.699 --> 00:38:32.139
just gets blasted and then this other one I guess

00:38:32.139 --> 00:38:33.719
miss muffin and flea stick make your attacks

00:38:33.719 --> 00:38:35.500
do what you want to do against this last guy

00:38:35.500 --> 00:38:39.599
your little venom dad Venom dag 14 plus 9 to

00:38:39.599 --> 00:38:42.760
hit yeah, you gonna put the venom dag venom dag

00:38:44.409 --> 00:38:49.329
Oh, okay. Six damage. But it's venom damage,

00:38:49.530 --> 00:38:53.030
so he's poisoned. But you roll again. For the

00:38:53.030 --> 00:38:57.210
poison? Oh, shit. You're right. Look at that.

00:38:57.730 --> 00:38:59.889
Do you want me to roll for that second attack?

00:39:00.730 --> 00:39:03.650
That second Eldritch Blast? The beam that shoots

00:39:03.650 --> 00:39:06.030
two beams? Because I just gave you damage for

00:39:06.030 --> 00:39:07.949
one. Oh, then yeah, you can do the second one.

00:39:07.969 --> 00:39:10.150
Sorry, I didn't realize you did. I just did 1d10

00:39:10.150 --> 00:39:12.590
of damage out of it, so I'll do the second one

00:39:12.590 --> 00:39:15.750
and see what hits. Crip. Okay, so that was what

00:39:15.750 --> 00:39:21.449
hit. And d10 doubled. 2d10 poison damage. 5 doubled.

00:39:22.269 --> 00:39:24.389
Are you going to roll it twice? No, you're good.

00:39:24.809 --> 00:39:28.170
Go ahead, Kelly, sorry. Apologies. No, you're

00:39:28.170 --> 00:39:31.309
good. You hit, so you're rolling your poison

00:39:31.309 --> 00:39:36.369
damage? Yeah, 2d10 for poison damage. Okay. 8

00:39:36.369 --> 00:39:41.869
plus 8. Poison damage. Yeah, that guy starts...

00:39:42.800 --> 00:39:45.599
starts choking on his own vomit and poisoning

00:39:45.599 --> 00:39:49.000
foaming at the mouth seizing falls dead poops

00:39:49.000 --> 00:39:52.820
his pants oh my god it stinks in here okay the

00:39:52.820 --> 00:39:55.579
fuck that was crazy his trousers so yeah with

00:39:55.579 --> 00:39:57.960
this happening his trousers this last element

00:39:57.960 --> 00:40:00.460
this last cultist that's like way up there that

00:40:00.460 --> 00:40:02.400
you smacked with an eldritch blast he's like

00:40:02.400 --> 00:40:04.480
oh fuck this and he's just gonna take off running

00:40:04.480 --> 00:40:06.980
and you see him dive into this portal that's

00:40:06.980 --> 00:40:26.599
right behind him what the fuck What portal? Where's

00:40:26.599 --> 00:40:28.199
it going? Where's my cat? It's right behind him.

00:40:28.199 --> 00:40:29.780
He dives into the portal. How far is that portal

00:40:29.780 --> 00:40:32.579
from me? Is it still open? It's open, yes, but

00:40:32.579 --> 00:40:36.500
it's... Let's see how far it is from you guys.

00:40:36.579 --> 00:40:39.920
It's pretty far. It's 100 feet. Perfect. But

00:40:39.920 --> 00:40:42.579
we're going to end initiative and shit because

00:40:42.579 --> 00:40:44.980
Uni's laying there. The portal's not like...

00:40:44.980 --> 00:40:47.940
You don't see it like... Starting to close or

00:40:47.940 --> 00:40:51.000
nothing. I was just thinking about throwing a

00:40:51.000 --> 00:40:54.539
lightning bolt inside of it to see... You could.

00:40:54.559 --> 00:40:56.480
If they would have clapped that dude on the other

00:40:56.480 --> 00:41:01.420
side. I mean, you can try if you want. It's iffy.

00:41:01.940 --> 00:41:05.320
I only get one shot out of it. We'll just move

00:41:05.320 --> 00:41:08.800
closer. Alright, so yeah, you come up and Minerva

00:41:08.800 --> 00:41:11.219
comes running up to Uni and you see her laying

00:41:11.219 --> 00:41:13.280
on the ground like neighing and doing horse shit.

00:41:14.579 --> 00:41:16.860
I guess they talk, don't they? Unicorn shit,

00:41:16.960 --> 00:41:19.820
not horse shit. Sorry, unicorn shit. She's a

00:41:19.820 --> 00:41:22.199
beautiful unicorn. You are right. A beautiful

00:41:22.199 --> 00:41:28.099
unicorn. Can we mend her? She runs up and Uni's

00:41:28.099 --> 00:41:30.440
actually trapped up in this net and she rips

00:41:30.440 --> 00:41:34.199
this net off of her and starts making sure she's

00:41:34.199 --> 00:41:36.119
okay and making sure she's not beat up and tore

00:41:36.119 --> 00:41:38.320
up and shit. She's got cuts and bruises, but

00:41:38.320 --> 00:41:42.159
she's alive. Can Flea Stick mend her horn? You

00:41:42.159 --> 00:41:44.300
don't have her horn. Her horn's not laying there.

00:41:44.619 --> 00:41:50.039
Where? She says, they took my horn through the

00:41:50.039 --> 00:41:52.469
portal. I don't know what they're trying to do

00:41:52.469 --> 00:41:54.289
with it, but they're taking it. They're going

00:41:54.289 --> 00:41:57.510
to eat it. No, the other ones are trying to eat

00:41:57.510 --> 00:42:00.170
it. They're going to use your magic. Yeah, that's

00:42:00.170 --> 00:42:01.449
probably what they're going to do is use my magic.

00:42:01.530 --> 00:42:05.949
But, yeah, they took it. They sawed it off. They

00:42:05.949 --> 00:42:09.650
can be repaired, but, yeah, I can't. Listen,

00:42:09.809 --> 00:42:12.030
I'm going to tell you guys a secret. My horn,

00:42:12.210 --> 00:42:15.190
they think that this ritual they can do can use

00:42:15.190 --> 00:42:18.409
the wish spell, which can literally do anything

00:42:18.409 --> 00:42:21.369
they wish. That's what they think they're about

00:42:21.369 --> 00:42:23.650
to do. They're about to try to start this ritual

00:42:23.650 --> 00:42:26.369
with my horn to get a wish spell. Which could

00:42:26.369 --> 00:42:28.050
end a lot of shit. Which could fuck a lot of

00:42:28.050 --> 00:42:31.730
stuff up. So yeah. You guys, are you here to

00:42:31.730 --> 00:42:34.710
help? And Minerva kind of explains. She says,

00:42:34.829 --> 00:42:37.309
they're here for the scroll. Do you have the

00:42:37.309 --> 00:42:41.010
scroll? We'll get your horn. Yeah, you're gonna...

00:42:41.010 --> 00:42:44.190
If you want... If you're going to get the horn,

00:42:44.269 --> 00:42:46.309
that would be great because the scroll is fused

00:42:46.309 --> 00:42:47.750
with my horn. Yeah. It's inside my horn. I figured

00:42:47.750 --> 00:42:49.630
it was something like that. Anyways. So, yeah.

00:42:49.750 --> 00:42:51.989
Yeah. I would really appreciate the help. I'm

00:42:51.989 --> 00:42:54.809
kind of hurt, but they're in there. I don't know

00:42:54.809 --> 00:42:56.769
where that goes, that portal that's like this

00:42:56.769 --> 00:43:00.369
crystal ball world realm thing inside of another

00:43:00.369 --> 00:43:03.690
demiplane. I don't know. But that's what we need.

00:43:03.730 --> 00:43:07.110
That's what we need is my horn. Cat jump. Cat

00:43:07.110 --> 00:43:12.599
jump? Dive right in the portal. So, yeah. That's

00:43:12.599 --> 00:43:14.280
what you guys know. Would you like to go ahead

00:43:14.280 --> 00:43:16.440
for the portal? I guess we're going in the portal.

00:43:16.579 --> 00:43:18.380
Okay. Your nerve is going to stay behind, of

00:43:18.380 --> 00:43:22.920
course, with Uni. Why? Because I'm not going

00:43:22.920 --> 00:43:24.980
to give you a god -level character to go fight

00:43:24.980 --> 00:43:26.380
your fight. We also probably shouldn't leave

00:43:26.380 --> 00:43:30.039
a half -injured unicorn just laying there by

00:43:30.039 --> 00:43:32.659
itself to be eaten by whatever pest. Man, more

00:43:32.659 --> 00:43:34.440
bedbugs that come up and just rip it apart and

00:43:34.440 --> 00:43:39.719
you come back with just a leg. Without Uni's

00:43:39.719 --> 00:43:43.829
unicorn horn, is she... Not magic anymore? She

00:43:43.829 --> 00:43:46.050
has lost her magic. Someone could eat her. Some

00:43:46.050 --> 00:43:48.469
could say that she's only using a warhorse stat

00:43:48.469 --> 00:43:51.050
and not a unicorn stat block. See, if I really

00:43:51.050 --> 00:43:52.929
wanted to, I could have gave her my regen scroll,

00:43:53.090 --> 00:43:57.289
but... She just... Just grows a new horn. It

00:43:57.289 --> 00:43:59.989
wouldn't have the scroll in it. No, it wouldn't

00:43:59.989 --> 00:44:01.630
have the scroll. We could still go get the scroll.

00:44:02.090 --> 00:44:04.030
Why the fuck would I use my... Well, if you're

00:44:04.030 --> 00:44:05.809
going to go get the horn, you might as well just

00:44:05.809 --> 00:44:08.969
get the horn. Use my regen scroll on the unicorn.

00:44:09.369 --> 00:44:11.699
All right, we're going? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah,

00:44:11.699 --> 00:44:14.960
yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Why don't

00:44:14.960 --> 00:44:17.400
you find you a regen scroll and you give it to

00:44:17.400 --> 00:44:19.900
the unicorn? I probably have one. You don't.

00:44:19.940 --> 00:44:22.039
In my purse. We have one. Purse of everything.

00:44:22.079 --> 00:44:25.239
The whole party has one. Halloween town bag.

00:44:25.840 --> 00:44:30.119
Okay, then I need to switch us if we're going

00:44:30.119 --> 00:44:35.320
in here. Switcheroo. A portal inside a portal

00:44:35.320 --> 00:44:41.780
inside a portal? Damn. So many portal. Have you

00:44:41.780 --> 00:44:46.500
ever played the game Portal? Yes. It's fun. Yes.

00:44:46.739 --> 00:44:51.659
I like. You get Portal trapped doing stupid shit.

00:44:52.239 --> 00:44:54.579
I like being the little robot and not the big

00:44:54.579 --> 00:45:00.119
one. I always sucked at Portal. I love that game.

00:45:00.460 --> 00:45:02.420
I probably didn't play it enough to get good

00:45:02.420 --> 00:45:05.099
at it. I would always end up doing my Portals

00:45:05.099 --> 00:45:07.480
not the way I wanted to. It was pretty cool.

00:45:07.659 --> 00:45:09.380
Like, I'll pop out here and I just don't pop

00:45:09.380 --> 00:45:11.500
out there. I like games that make you think like

00:45:11.500 --> 00:45:13.239
that, and then you're pissed off for a while,

00:45:13.360 --> 00:45:14.300
and then you figure it out, and you're like,

00:45:14.360 --> 00:45:18.099
what the fuck? All right. Let's get ready to

00:45:18.099 --> 00:45:23.360
rumble! Yeah. In this corner, we have Big Fat

00:45:23.360 --> 00:45:31.760
Willie! Okay. Look at his flaccid muscles. All

00:45:31.760 --> 00:45:35.139
right, so you guys enter this portal, and you've

00:45:35.139 --> 00:45:37.940
come into this form. You appear in this chamber

00:45:37.940 --> 00:45:40.300
that's enclosed by these thick wall of thorns

00:45:40.300 --> 00:45:42.239
and behind you the glowing portal back to the

00:45:42.239 --> 00:45:44.320
woods shimmers like flashing and shit but it's

00:45:44.320 --> 00:45:47.000
still going. This cold mist like coils through

00:45:47.000 --> 00:45:49.900
the air. This crystal barrier is surface curved

00:45:49.900 --> 00:45:51.940
surface swirling with lights and colors forms

00:45:51.940 --> 00:45:54.219
a strange sky overhead. It's like as you guys

00:45:54.219 --> 00:45:56.920
look up you can see this like spherical curved

00:45:56.920 --> 00:46:01.260
wall of crystal line special glorious magic shit

00:46:01.260 --> 00:46:03.559
around you. Because you're inside of this dimmy

00:46:03.559 --> 00:46:05.139
plane. You have fucking gone to another place.

00:46:07.539 --> 00:46:11.199
Ahead of you, you see to the north these paths

00:46:11.199 --> 00:46:13.380
that cross out and converge. There's multiple

00:46:13.380 --> 00:46:15.420
paths going throughout this place. What would

00:46:15.420 --> 00:46:18.699
you guys like to do? Sniff which one smells like

00:46:18.699 --> 00:46:26.679
the one that took the unicorn. Okay. Give me

00:46:26.679 --> 00:46:36.369
a perception check. Perception. All right. Don't

00:46:36.369 --> 00:46:38.150
worry, I'm slow at this. As you kind of creep

00:46:38.150 --> 00:46:41.329
forward looking into this next area, this passage

00:46:41.329 --> 00:46:43.789
widens to a form of larger, misty chamber enclosed

00:46:43.789 --> 00:46:46.590
by another wall of thorns with three more passages

00:46:46.590 --> 00:46:53.510
leading different directions. Twelve. Perception?

00:46:53.769 --> 00:46:57.110
Yeah. Okay, so as you kind of are looking up

00:46:57.110 --> 00:46:59.550
through these three paths, this sleek puppy with

00:46:59.550 --> 00:47:02.150
a tongue comes flopping up and runs up to you

00:47:02.150 --> 00:47:04.369
with nervous eyes and he's kind of just watching

00:47:04.369 --> 00:47:06.380
over you. Looking at you. What kind of puppy

00:47:06.380 --> 00:47:14.739
do you have to say? What? What kind? Pomeranian.

00:47:15.260 --> 00:47:17.400
Yeah, sure. He's Pomeranian. Comes running up.

00:47:17.460 --> 00:47:22.960
This little tiny guy. Coco. So, yeah. This little

00:47:22.960 --> 00:47:25.780
white shih tzu. His name is Coco. So, this dog

00:47:25.780 --> 00:47:27.980
comes running up to you and he's got these nervous

00:47:27.980 --> 00:47:31.789
eyes looking at you. But as he's looking over

00:47:31.789 --> 00:47:33.829
you, you are obviously kind of like, oh, my God,

00:47:33.849 --> 00:47:35.809
an animal. Do you care that this is a dog? Do

00:47:35.809 --> 00:47:39.349
you like dogs? What would you have to say? Well,

00:47:39.570 --> 00:47:42.530
okay, here's the thing. My cats would probably

00:47:42.530 --> 00:47:45.949
hiss at this thing. But I like this thing. I

00:47:45.949 --> 00:47:49.250
like all animals. Okay, so this thing runs up

00:47:49.250 --> 00:47:51.500
to you then, and it's kind of like. its tongue's

00:47:51.500 --> 00:47:53.340
flopping and then you see it sneeze real hard

00:47:53.340 --> 00:47:56.260
and as it sneezes it teleports it just blinks

00:47:56.260 --> 00:47:58.579
out of existence and you hear it behind you it's

00:47:58.579 --> 00:48:01.360
like comes running up from behind you again um

00:48:01.360 --> 00:48:03.679
so every as you're kind of like looking around

00:48:03.679 --> 00:48:05.860
stuff it sneezes again and just teleports to

00:48:05.860 --> 00:48:07.659
a new spot behind you in another spot of the

00:48:07.659 --> 00:48:11.460
room so yeah while i pet it will i teleport with

00:48:11.460 --> 00:48:19.820
it why not that'd be scary And I keep picturing

00:48:19.820 --> 00:48:22.679
it as a pug still, so it's a pug. What is that?

00:48:23.340 --> 00:48:25.739
Inhumans? Their dog they can touch and it teleports

00:48:25.739 --> 00:48:30.119
them? So this dog kind of, as it's in between

00:48:30.119 --> 00:48:32.519
teleportating from sneezing and being sick, it

00:48:32.519 --> 00:48:35.719
keeps teleporting. It kind of mimes out what

00:48:35.719 --> 00:48:38.219
happened to it in this Scooby -Doo fashion. He

00:48:38.219 --> 00:48:42.679
was captured by bad guys. He's so good at telling

00:48:42.679 --> 00:48:45.699
us. Yeah. He's so good at it. He's fucking miming.

00:48:45.739 --> 00:48:48.360
He's up there jumping around. He was captured

00:48:48.360 --> 00:48:50.280
by bad guys and they were trying to sacrifice

00:48:50.280 --> 00:48:53.739
him in some kind of ritual. But he escaped and

00:48:53.739 --> 00:48:56.280
he's running. So yeah, what would you guys like

00:48:56.280 --> 00:48:58.460
to do now? As you have these paths ahead of you

00:48:58.460 --> 00:49:00.139
and this dog that keeps teleporting around every

00:49:00.139 --> 00:49:02.699
time it sneezes every couple minutes. I'm scratching

00:49:02.699 --> 00:49:05.460
his belly. So you just give up? You're not going

00:49:05.460 --> 00:49:10.349
to go anywhere? I move forward. Okay, which direction

00:49:10.349 --> 00:49:13.849
would you guys like to do? You saw, noticed a

00:49:13.849 --> 00:49:15.829
dog coming up to you. Oh, okay. Left. Because

00:49:15.829 --> 00:49:17.210
you didn't get good views on everything else.

00:49:17.329 --> 00:49:20.170
Left? Yes. Okay, as you're starting to move to

00:49:20.170 --> 00:49:24.579
the left, west? We east. So as you start moving

00:49:24.579 --> 00:49:26.920
that way, you hear voices from the north say,

00:49:27.119 --> 00:49:30.340
I told giving the dog to the king was a stupid

00:49:30.340 --> 00:49:32.599
idea. And you hear this other guy kind of, I

00:49:32.599 --> 00:49:35.920
know, I know. The thing sneezed itself right

00:49:35.920 --> 00:49:37.260
out of my bag. I don't know what I'm going to

00:49:37.260 --> 00:49:39.599
do about it. So yeah, you hear these guys kind

00:49:39.599 --> 00:49:41.639
of like in the northern area as you kind of move

00:49:41.639 --> 00:49:49.340
away. Good job. Interesting. Okay, as you enter

00:49:49.340 --> 00:49:51.699
this room and the walls of this misty chamber,

00:49:51.820 --> 00:49:54.099
the paths strike off in four directions. Within

00:49:54.099 --> 00:49:56.760
this chamber, you're seeing like these little

00:49:56.760 --> 00:49:58.739
things of like vines wrapped around these little

00:49:58.739 --> 00:50:02.199
pedestals. What would you like to do? Anything

00:50:02.199 --> 00:50:05.280
special you guys are into here? Kind of just

00:50:05.280 --> 00:50:07.099
like moving through this. Colors are kind of

00:50:07.099 --> 00:50:09.019
flashing through the sky. You're seeing lights

00:50:09.019 --> 00:50:12.639
flash all over the place. What do these vines

00:50:12.639 --> 00:50:15.260
look like? They're like thorns. They're like

00:50:15.260 --> 00:50:18.159
wrapped in this like thorny... Thorny container.

00:50:18.400 --> 00:50:23.159
The pedestals inside look like the shape of holy

00:50:23.159 --> 00:50:26.460
men with magic stances. Do they look living?

00:50:26.960 --> 00:50:30.619
The thorns? Yeah, they're not like dead. They're

00:50:30.619 --> 00:50:32.199
not like dead wrapped around thorns. They look

00:50:32.199 --> 00:50:33.920
fresh and alive, yeah. But do they look like

00:50:33.920 --> 00:50:37.099
simple plant life? Like not intelligent? Make

00:50:37.099 --> 00:50:41.860
me a nature check. See if you can tell if these

00:50:41.860 --> 00:50:46.880
are normal thorns or fucked up thorns. 19. Yeah,

00:50:46.980 --> 00:50:48.539
you can definitely tell that these things aren't

00:50:48.539 --> 00:50:51.079
moving. Standard. Yeah, they're not just breathing

00:50:51.079 --> 00:50:54.559
off normal plant life. They're not normal plants.

00:50:54.659 --> 00:50:57.340
They look like they have a purpose. I'm going

00:50:57.340 --> 00:50:59.659
to attempt to hit them with Flametongue while

00:50:59.659 --> 00:51:07.659
it's on fire. Okay. Give me an attack roll. 14

00:51:07.659 --> 00:51:13.960
plus 9. Nothing happens. Okay. But make me a

00:51:13.960 --> 00:51:15.659
dexterity saving throw. I figured something.

00:51:16.300 --> 00:51:19.360
As you see the thorn bush, like, look up at you.

00:51:19.480 --> 00:51:28.659
Uh, that is... Yeah, 18. 18? Okay, you're able

00:51:28.659 --> 00:51:30.739
to step out of the way real quick as it reaches

00:51:30.739 --> 00:51:38.440
out and tries to grab you. Hmm. Well, hell with

00:51:38.440 --> 00:51:42.539
the thorns. What's under the thorns? Uh, like

00:51:42.539 --> 00:51:43.800
these little pedestals that just kind of look

00:51:43.800 --> 00:51:48.840
like these holy men. Um, but, what did I say?

00:51:49.019 --> 00:51:51.199
Oh yeah, there was paths that converge off into

00:51:51.199 --> 00:51:53.199
different directions as well. Yeah, we'll have

00:51:53.199 --> 00:51:55.280
to deal with these bitches later. We need to

00:51:55.280 --> 00:51:58.440
find the unicorn. Okay, so which path would you

00:51:58.440 --> 00:52:02.139
like to take? Uh, say north toward where the

00:52:02.139 --> 00:52:03.840
voices were. Are they all the same color? Uh,

00:52:03.840 --> 00:52:05.880
so north was the direction behind you where you're

00:52:05.880 --> 00:52:07.219
going, so you're going to go up north out of

00:52:07.219 --> 00:52:10.309
this next room? Yeah. Okay. Are you going first,

00:52:10.429 --> 00:52:14.349
Duke? Yeah, I'll take point. Okay, roll. Actually,

00:52:14.389 --> 00:52:18.570
I'm going to roll this. Let's see. Hang on. Hanging

00:52:18.570 --> 00:52:26.510
on. I'm going to roll a d4. One. Wow. Okay, Duke.

00:52:27.590 --> 00:52:30.889
So as Duke, you're like leading ahead here. Where

00:52:30.889 --> 00:52:33.389
are you, Duke? Oh, yeah. As you lead up there,

00:52:33.530 --> 00:52:35.489
you step around the corner and you see this.

00:52:38.000 --> 00:52:40.500
I'm going to describe. You see this round tent

00:52:40.500 --> 00:52:43.480
up ahead made from animal skins looking, like

00:52:43.480 --> 00:52:44.800
it looks like it's made of animal skins just

00:52:44.800 --> 00:52:47.760
like pitched onto this crystal floor. And outside

00:52:47.760 --> 00:52:50.159
the tent you see a cooking pot of bubbles. What

00:52:50.159 --> 00:52:51.539
would you like to do as you go to, like you're

00:52:51.539 --> 00:52:53.159
in the verge of crossing over into this next

00:52:53.159 --> 00:53:01.920
room? Walk right in? Alright, as you walk right

00:53:01.920 --> 00:53:04.460
in you are teleported. Cool. And we're on roll

00:53:04.460 --> 00:53:09.610
to D4. You're going to spawn in this room. Let's

00:53:09.610 --> 00:53:11.550
see what happens here. So it's a portal tent.

00:53:11.869 --> 00:53:15.150
Oh, fuck, Duke. Where'd Duke go? No, it's not

00:53:15.150 --> 00:53:17.030
a portal tent. It's a portal entrance. Boop!

00:53:17.030 --> 00:53:19.570
And you pop out in this room over here. Fucking

00:53:19.570 --> 00:53:22.590
boss area. Yeah, you pop out in this room. You

00:53:22.590 --> 00:53:27.130
just, like, spawn in front of this room. Let's

00:53:27.130 --> 00:53:30.170
see. That ain't no deal. That ain't no thing.

00:53:30.530 --> 00:53:33.199
Chicken wine. So as you enter this room, this

00:53:33.199 --> 00:53:35.219
crystal floor of this wide chamber is covered

00:53:35.219 --> 00:53:37.719
in a mosaic of stars, moons, and suns, and a

00:53:37.719 --> 00:53:39.960
sneering, white -bearded human in a black robe

00:53:39.960 --> 00:53:42.460
stands to the north, brandishing Uni's horn in

00:53:42.460 --> 00:53:44.980
one hand and a book in the other. Four enormous

00:53:44.980 --> 00:53:47.960
wolf -like beasts, wargs, are gathered around

00:53:47.960 --> 00:53:51.280
the mosaic and their malevolent eyes fixed on

00:53:51.280 --> 00:53:53.920
their evil master. When Kellick sees you kind

00:53:53.920 --> 00:53:55.880
of, well, sees you only, Duke, pop into this

00:53:55.880 --> 00:53:59.440
room, he says, Pathetic worm! The horn is mine,

00:53:59.519 --> 00:54:01.420
and none shall stand in my way of my destiny.

00:54:01.800 --> 00:54:04.579
Beasts, destroy them! Um, yeah, so then we'll

00:54:04.579 --> 00:54:07.179
flip back to, uh, please stick in this muffin,

00:54:07.280 --> 00:54:09.659
and the dog teleports. What'd you guys like to

00:54:09.659 --> 00:54:11.639
do? You guys are walking ahead, you see Duke

00:54:11.639 --> 00:54:14.679
just pop out of existence. Where'd Duke go? He

00:54:14.679 --> 00:54:20.719
kept walking. Kept walking? Okay. There you go.

00:54:21.669 --> 00:54:25.789
And teleport to? Not that room. Actually, yes,

00:54:25.829 --> 00:54:27.170
you teleport in the room right in front of you

00:54:27.170 --> 00:54:28.849
where the tent is. You're just on the other side

00:54:28.849 --> 00:54:31.989
next to this boiling stew. Big Dick, I'm guessing

00:54:31.989 --> 00:54:33.989
you're going to follow suit, right? Boiling stew

00:54:33.989 --> 00:54:37.469
adds tuna to it. You're in the same room as Miss

00:54:37.469 --> 00:54:40.730
Muffin. You teleport right in the same place

00:54:40.730 --> 00:54:41.789
and kind of shuffle next to her. Look, I put

00:54:41.789 --> 00:54:48.750
tuna in the stew. The dog sees you guys teleport

00:54:48.750 --> 00:54:51.449
and he's like, what? Takes off running forward.

00:54:51.809 --> 00:54:53.630
So let's see where our dog goes. You're supposed

00:54:53.630 --> 00:54:57.750
to hold the dog, Kelly. It wouldn't let me. It

00:54:57.750 --> 00:55:00.369
kept disappearing. So this dog, Duke, you just

00:55:00.369 --> 00:55:02.630
see this dog kind of just like, this is like

00:55:02.630 --> 00:55:04.170
right behind you and he's looking at you and

00:55:04.170 --> 00:55:07.250
he's like, it's like jumping around and stuff.

00:55:07.769 --> 00:55:10.489
Yeah, so Duke, or Miss Muffin and Flea Steak,

00:55:10.550 --> 00:55:12.969
what would you guys like to do? I put tuna in

00:55:12.969 --> 00:55:14.530
the stew. Oh, so you're just going to have a

00:55:14.530 --> 00:55:17.070
pot of food? You're going to cook some food or

00:55:17.070 --> 00:55:19.199
what? You're going to eat it? Now I'm scared.

00:55:19.340 --> 00:55:20.699
I don't know who made this stew. So you just

00:55:20.699 --> 00:55:23.559
wasted your stew? Or your tuna? No, it's not

00:55:23.559 --> 00:55:27.360
wasted. I have more at the Iron Keep. Okay, well,

00:55:27.420 --> 00:55:30.360
good job. You put tuna inside the pot. I'm proud

00:55:30.360 --> 00:55:34.420
of it. She's been carrying cans of tuna. I have

00:55:34.420 --> 00:55:36.940
lots of sleeves of tuna. Booth and tuna, casually?

00:55:37.039 --> 00:55:39.820
Booth and tuna. Open can. All booth, little tuna

00:55:39.820 --> 00:55:41.780
booth. All right, what would you guys like to

00:55:41.780 --> 00:55:44.199
do? Do you look around this human, or this, oh,

00:55:44.239 --> 00:55:46.440
God, it's not human skin. You see the animal

00:55:46.440 --> 00:55:50.039
skin made tent. What the? Buffalo. Buffalo, boo.

00:55:50.139 --> 00:55:51.940
It's like we got some fucking egg green shit

00:55:51.940 --> 00:55:53.780
going on here. What would you guys like to do?

00:55:55.480 --> 00:55:58.659
I guess, can we tell, do crystals right next

00:55:58.659 --> 00:56:01.920
to us in that room? Oh, yeah, I guess. I guess,

00:56:01.940 --> 00:56:04.059
yeah, you could. You could. To the north, you

00:56:04.059 --> 00:56:07.639
hear, pathetic word. Yeah. Like in the distance.

00:56:07.639 --> 00:56:10.320
You're like, oh, shit. Maybe go that way. Yeah,

00:56:10.320 --> 00:56:11.440
I'm going to walk that way. Okay, so you're going

00:56:11.440 --> 00:56:12.840
to head that way. Roll me initiative, everybody.

00:56:14.500 --> 00:56:17.039
Wait, what's up with you? Not that I just realized

00:56:17.039 --> 00:56:18.960
that they were right there. I didn't think about

00:56:18.960 --> 00:56:24.360
that. Crit. Crit? Well, I got a two plus four.

00:56:24.760 --> 00:56:29.500
That's time. Six, six, six, six, six, six. Did

00:56:29.500 --> 00:56:33.440
you get a six? Yeah. Weak. Oh. Play stick initiative.

00:56:36.780 --> 00:56:39.559
I rolled a 15 plus one. 15 plus one? Yeah, 16.

00:56:40.820 --> 00:56:46.519
16. All right. Start combat. Duke, you are up

00:56:46.519 --> 00:56:49.019
first. With initiative 20, and since you got

00:56:49.019 --> 00:56:51.900
a crit, you're going to get, like, a surprise

00:56:51.900 --> 00:56:54.360
extra free action, basically. You get a free

00:56:54.360 --> 00:56:56.119
action to do what you want, and then you'll also

00:56:56.119 --> 00:56:58.239
have your other actions. Very nice. So, yeah.

00:56:58.800 --> 00:57:00.599
I'm going to position these wargs more appropriately.

00:57:00.900 --> 00:57:03.719
I just spawned them. Yeah. I was hoping that.

00:57:03.739 --> 00:57:05.599
I think you were going to have that. Oh, yeah.

00:57:05.679 --> 00:57:06.960
So these wargs are kind of scattered across,

00:57:07.139 --> 00:57:09.039
like, ready to defend their master, and you also

00:57:09.039 --> 00:57:11.380
see that elemental cultist shoot Eldritch Blast,

00:57:11.380 --> 00:57:13.420
and he's, like, tailing the mage right there.

00:57:13.440 --> 00:57:17.010
He's like, kill it! Kill it! The guy... oh that's

00:57:17.010 --> 00:57:18.550
him that's him that's the guy that always blasts

00:57:18.550 --> 00:57:21.570
me um and so yeah you got all these these warps

00:57:21.570 --> 00:57:23.190
positioned around ready to attack what would

00:57:23.190 --> 00:57:27.489
you like to do all right uh let's see let me

00:57:27.489 --> 00:57:36.010
check distance here oh yeah i can get down with

00:57:36.010 --> 00:57:39.369
that okay so i am going to move they're about

00:57:39.369 --> 00:57:41.409
20 feet from you the first two rows slightly

00:57:41.409 --> 00:57:44.489
over to this angle okay so you're gonna move

00:57:44.489 --> 00:57:48.070
like kind of Right in position to the war closest

00:57:48.070 --> 00:57:50.769
to the west? Yes. All right. With specifically

00:57:50.769 --> 00:57:53.269
the Mage and Elemental Cultist directly behind

00:57:53.269 --> 00:57:55.829
his back. Oh, I see. I see. And I will use my

00:57:55.829 --> 00:57:59.789
Lightning Bolt. Okay. To absolutely eviscerate.

00:58:00.269 --> 00:58:02.349
I don't think I have to roll for that. That's

00:58:02.349 --> 00:58:04.170
a hit, no matter what. So... A Lightning Bolt?

00:58:04.429 --> 00:58:06.550
They have to just... I think Dex, isn't it? Like

00:58:06.550 --> 00:58:08.630
a Dex save for them? Yeah, I mean, but I don't

00:58:08.630 --> 00:58:11.489
have to roll to hit. I think it just goes where

00:58:11.489 --> 00:58:18.050
I point it. What's the save? 14. Okay. Okay.

00:58:19.449 --> 00:58:21.909
Okay. Oh, my God. All right. They all three fail.

00:58:22.190 --> 00:58:23.929
Fabulous. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,

00:58:24.010 --> 00:58:29.230
wait, wait. What do you mean wait? Wait. One

00:58:29.230 --> 00:58:32.369
of them might not have. Okay. Just one. He said

00:58:32.369 --> 00:58:39.460
with his modifier, he might. No, they fail. Okay,

00:58:39.519 --> 00:58:41.500
so all three fail. I had to study some numbers.

00:58:41.639 --> 00:58:44.860
Okay. The warg and the elemental cultist and

00:58:44.860 --> 00:58:47.320
the mage, Kellek. You heard him call it. We'll

00:58:47.320 --> 00:58:52.519
be taking 8d6. Okay. Great. I love to hear that.

00:58:52.880 --> 00:58:56.840
That's what I love to hear. All right, so that's

00:58:56.840 --> 00:59:08.429
3, 5, 8, 9, 10, 14. Four more rolls. 18. That

00:59:08.429 --> 00:59:18.630
would be 21. 25. 26. 26? Yes. Okay, so... Alright,

00:59:18.750 --> 00:59:29.070
uh... Um... Six to him. That guy's okay -ish.

00:59:29.349 --> 00:59:35.309
Ish? I don't know if they're okay -ish. Luckily

00:59:35.309 --> 00:59:42.179
he's got good health. Whoa. Okay, so you blast.

00:59:42.400 --> 00:59:44.480
You kind of run out of this room. All this happens

00:59:44.480 --> 00:59:47.699
so quickly. Miss Muffin and Flea Stick are running

00:59:47.699 --> 00:59:49.460
up in the doorway behind you, kind of like, oh,

00:59:49.500 --> 00:59:51.480
shit, what's going on? Your dog's lolling his

00:59:51.480 --> 00:59:53.619
tongue all in slow -mo because you got a nat

00:59:53.619 --> 00:59:57.059
20. It looks badass. And as he's kind of like

00:59:57.059 --> 00:59:59.460
pointing and saying shit, this lightning bolt

00:59:59.460 --> 01:00:02.679
just blasts out of your hands, fries the warg

01:00:02.679 --> 01:00:05.630
immediately, the first warg. He just fries. pole

01:00:05.630 --> 01:00:08.170
burns him up to a crisp goes through him arcs

01:00:08.170 --> 01:00:10.969
into the elemental colstis blasts him good and

01:00:10.969 --> 01:00:12.690
hits the mage too and they all are kind of like

01:00:12.690 --> 01:00:19.030
stunned just in a shock This episode of Dummies

01:00:19.030 --> 01:00:21.429
with Dice features Kelly Lee as Miss Muffin,

01:00:21.449 --> 01:00:24.650
Nate Chambers as Duke Crystal, Ryan Tucker as

01:00:24.650 --> 01:00:27.230
Flea Stick Sock Jelly, and Tristan Hayes as the

01:00:27.230 --> 01:00:30.230
DM. The episode is edited and mixed by Tristan

01:00:30.230 --> 01:00:32.730
Hayes. The artwork for Dummies with Dice, created

01:00:32.730 --> 01:00:35.210
by Al Sorensen, can be found on Instagram under

01:00:35.210 --> 01:00:40.610
A -R -C -S -I -0. The theme song is The Intense

01:00:40.610 --> 01:00:43.179
Fiddle by Ben Caldera. When it comes to Dummies

01:00:43.179 --> 01:00:46.119
with Dice, you can find our website on rss .com

01:00:46.119 --> 01:00:49.139
slash podcast slash Dummies with Dice and on

01:00:49.139 --> 01:00:51.800
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01:00:51.800 --> 01:00:54.880
join our Patreon at patreon .com slash Dummies

01:00:54.880 --> 01:00:58.139
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01:00:58.139 --> 01:01:01.599
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01:01:01.599 --> 01:01:03.440
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01:01:03.440 --> 01:01:03.719
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