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and be sure to use the discount code DUMMIES.

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For 15 % off any purchase. Viewer warning. Use

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of violence, profanity, rude humor, and the portrayal

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of drug and alcohol use. Welcome to Dummies with

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Dice, a Dungeons & Dragons actual play podcast

00:00:57.640 --> 00:00:59.659
that follows three not -so -average dummies in

00:00:59.659 --> 00:01:01.700
our world that get caught up in a magical storm

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and are transported to the world of Dungeons

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& Dragons where they must survive and try to

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find a way back home. Um, today. The question

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of the day, today, for what I'm going to ask.

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Okay. If you could time travel to any period

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in history, where would you go and why? Hey,

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Nate here. My character's Duke Crystal. He's

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the drug -addicted level seven barbarian warlock

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of the group. And I'd say Duke's answer would

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probably be Sodom and Gomorrah. Why would you

00:01:36.290 --> 00:01:38.510
go there? Because that was a wild place to be.

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It was full of fucking chaos and lust and murder

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and thievery and everything Duke would like.

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All right. Oh, yeah. Peter Piper picked a pack

00:01:49.049 --> 00:01:50.349
of pickled peppers. How many pickled peppers

00:01:50.349 --> 00:01:57.200
did Peter Piper pick? All right. Hey, everybody.

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Ryan Tucker here. I play as Flea Stick Sock Jelly.

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I'm the hobo trash master. All right. God damn

00:02:02.819 --> 00:02:05.560
it. Hey, everybody. Ryan Tucker here. I play

00:02:05.560 --> 00:02:07.819
as Flea Stick Sock Jelly. I'm the hobo trash

00:02:07.819 --> 00:02:10.419
master cleric of the God Rumpke. I'm the MacGyver

00:02:10.419 --> 00:02:13.580
of all things trash and garbage. Kind of stumped

00:02:13.580 --> 00:02:15.819
on that. That's like a big question. Well, Flea

00:02:15.819 --> 00:02:18.780
Stick is a homeless guy that also went to war.

00:02:18.919 --> 00:02:20.719
So what is one place that he'd want to go back

00:02:20.719 --> 00:02:24.379
in time? To stop them fuckers from hitting the

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Twin Towers. No, not like... No, don't say that!

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That's a good answer. That is a good answer.

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Because that's a hierarchy war. I was in Desert

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Storm. I was in Desert Storm. I figured you'd

00:02:36.639 --> 00:02:39.639
go farther back, but alright. But Desert Storm...

00:02:39.639 --> 00:02:44.939
2001 it is. That's a shit. Hi, I'm Kelly Lee

00:02:44.939 --> 00:02:47.360
and I play Miss Muffin. She's a crazy cat lady

00:02:47.360 --> 00:02:51.020
rogue. Did you know cats have a long history

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involving from a common ancestor in Asia around

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10 to 15 million years ago? So, Miss Muffin,

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you're traveling back that long ago just to watch

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the evolution of cats. So you're going to go

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back that long ago in Asia. Good. To watch cats

00:03:08.080 --> 00:03:10.219
evolve. You just looked that up, didn't you?

00:03:10.699 --> 00:03:12.960
Nope. Miss Muffin knows everything about cats.

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Wrong. Fun fact. I just heard. yesterday that

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they're now claiming that white people did not

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exist until 1665. They're aliens, man. It's fucking...

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Oh yeah, for all over the place. You're in D

00:03:28.960 --> 00:03:37.080
&D now. Yeah. Alright, so let me see where I'm

00:03:37.080 --> 00:03:39.319
at. I gotta go back to my notes. You can't meet

00:03:39.319 --> 00:03:45.520
this, are you? Okay, so where we... Jesus Christ,

00:03:45.620 --> 00:03:48.139
let me get my brain straight. Where was he on

00:03:48.139 --> 00:03:54.280
9 -11? Jesus Christ. Where we left off, you guys

00:03:54.280 --> 00:03:59.460
had pleased inside of the pile of... You guys

00:03:59.460 --> 00:04:03.560
pleased the pleasure pile. Fuck me, God. Pleased

00:04:03.560 --> 00:04:06.780
the pleasure pile. You guys did a good job inside

00:04:06.780 --> 00:04:11.139
of the pleasure pile. The place where people

00:04:11.139 --> 00:04:15.639
wanted to be pleased. Fuck. So yeah, you guys

00:04:15.639 --> 00:04:18.379
did that. Miss Muffin was mostly invisible the

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whole time. Ate some bugs for Duke because Duke

00:04:21.079 --> 00:04:24.600
was going to eat some bugs for pleasing a frog

00:04:24.600 --> 00:04:30.420
man. Flea Stick had some times with a bug bear.

00:04:30.680 --> 00:04:34.319
Oh, my toes. It said toes are still raw. Still

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socky and jelly. But where we left off, you guys

00:04:37.779 --> 00:04:40.720
kind of, Duke accepted some rewards for completing

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the pleasure pile challenges. and you guys went

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to bed. So, you wake up. It's still partying,

00:04:46.480 --> 00:04:48.680
but you can leave this place if you want. The

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doors aren't still refreshed. It's not a new

00:04:50.959 --> 00:04:54.040
stage, but you guys have just woken up. You guys

00:04:54.040 --> 00:04:56.339
want to leave? Yes. Get the hell out of here?

00:04:56.519 --> 00:05:00.480
Yeah. Okay. Okay, you step outside of the entrance,

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which obviously now looks like a fancy doorway

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and stuff, but when you step out of it, you feel

00:05:05.279 --> 00:05:07.120
that magical barrier kind of wave through you,

00:05:07.199 --> 00:05:09.579
and you turn around, and it's just the cave entrance

00:05:09.579 --> 00:05:11.519
again that has the little etched -in pleasure

00:05:11.519 --> 00:05:16.149
pile. So as you guys kind of walk out of here

00:05:16.149 --> 00:05:17.910
and you're kind of looking over all your gear

00:05:17.910 --> 00:05:22.870
you got and Duke, we did your spell scroll. So

00:05:22.870 --> 00:05:26.850
what did we do? Regenerate? Regen scroll. Regeneration

00:05:26.850 --> 00:05:28.870
scroll. Yeah, regeneration scroll. So that's

00:05:28.870 --> 00:05:30.589
what we came up with for his scroll reward for

00:05:30.589 --> 00:05:32.610
doing the pleasure pile. So kind of as you're

00:05:32.610 --> 00:05:34.310
looking over your stuff, you feel inside of your

00:05:34.310 --> 00:05:37.209
pocket an odd placed letter, like a piece of

00:05:37.209 --> 00:05:43.689
paper. In my pocket? No. Love note. Okay, you

00:05:43.689 --> 00:05:47.209
going to read this note? Yeah. Etched onto this

00:05:47.209 --> 00:05:49.670
piece of paper is just a bit of directions and

00:05:49.670 --> 00:05:52.550
coordinates. Kind of line this paper. So either

00:05:52.550 --> 00:05:54.389
somebody fudged with your pocket while you were

00:05:54.389 --> 00:05:56.490
sleeping or something, but there are just coordinates

00:05:56.490 --> 00:05:58.370
on this and directions. Maybe it's a booty call.

00:05:59.589 --> 00:06:02.649
Booty call? What do you guys think? What do you

00:06:02.649 --> 00:06:05.730
want to do with this information? Check it out.

00:06:05.870 --> 00:06:08.959
Did he tell us this information? Yeah, I read

00:06:08.959 --> 00:06:11.199
it out loud. Yeah, you read it out loud in this

00:06:11.199 --> 00:06:13.279
moment. There we go. Are you going straight for

00:06:13.279 --> 00:06:14.879
the direction to wherever these coordinates are

00:06:14.879 --> 00:06:18.459
that you said? Yeah. Might as well. Okay. All

00:06:18.459 --> 00:06:21.660
right. Well, you start moving. I'm scared. You're

00:06:21.660 --> 00:06:23.899
moving along and you're kind of, I mean, I'm

00:06:23.899 --> 00:06:25.279
assuming Duke's kind of just like reading over

00:06:25.279 --> 00:06:27.480
this paper and he's kind of pointing and walking.

00:06:27.540 --> 00:06:32.100
So give me a, what does it be again? Survival,

00:06:32.180 --> 00:06:44.339
I think, to kind of. I suppose. Let's see. 17?

00:06:45.319 --> 00:06:48.139
Yeah, that will definitely make it. So you start

00:06:48.139 --> 00:06:49.639
following these directions. You guys are kind

00:06:49.639 --> 00:06:52.660
of just moving along. And as you keep approaching,

00:06:52.800 --> 00:07:02.180
you see this... What's a temple nave? Do you

00:07:02.180 --> 00:07:05.519
guys know what that means? A temple nave? Yeah,

00:07:05.579 --> 00:07:06.959
I'm trying to figure out how to explain this.

00:07:16.000 --> 00:07:18.800
So you guys are walking and you're seeing in

00:07:18.800 --> 00:07:21.720
the ground there's this like formation and you

00:07:21.720 --> 00:07:23.560
kind of see the top the temple nave is like a

00:07:23.560 --> 00:07:26.459
Church top. Yeah temple piece So you're seeing

00:07:26.459 --> 00:07:28.500
like the points kind of come out people come

00:07:28.500 --> 00:07:30.339
out of the ground a little bit and an opening

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So would you guys like to continue to investigate

00:07:33.360 --> 00:07:36.060
do anything special? You're seeing this kind

00:07:36.060 --> 00:07:38.740
of just like churchy temple points coming out

00:07:38.740 --> 00:07:41.779
of the ground with a little opening walking up

00:07:41.779 --> 00:07:46.500
to it. May as well check it out. May as well.

00:07:46.620 --> 00:07:50.180
Is it solid? Yeah. It's like you're seeing the

00:07:50.180 --> 00:07:52.100
ground and then it just kind of forms out of

00:07:52.100 --> 00:07:53.620
the ground and there's a little opening going

00:07:53.620 --> 00:07:56.800
down into this temple. Oh, so we see the opening.

00:07:56.920 --> 00:07:59.560
There could be kitties down there. In their stairs?

00:07:59.959 --> 00:08:02.000
Yes. You see a flight of stairs going down into

00:08:02.000 --> 00:08:08.209
a dark stairwell. We... It could be a booby trap.

00:08:08.389 --> 00:08:10.649
There could be cute kitties down there. So, we

00:08:10.649 --> 00:08:14.769
ask Salish for help, and Salish comes out of

00:08:14.769 --> 00:08:18.470
me to help. I don't remember what I did for her.

00:08:19.589 --> 00:08:22.009
What do you need? Are you calling on me, Ms.

00:08:22.009 --> 00:08:25.149
Muffin? I don't think we need Salish. Yeah, send

00:08:25.149 --> 00:08:27.930
yourself down them stairs to make sure it's safe

00:08:27.930 --> 00:08:29.670
for us, please. Make sure it's safe for you?

00:08:29.889 --> 00:08:33.009
Yeah. Okay. Duke, are you trying to talk her

00:08:33.009 --> 00:08:35.289
out of sending this cat in? I don't think we

00:08:35.289 --> 00:08:38.950
need it, but... I won't push it that far. Okay,

00:08:38.950 --> 00:08:47.409
well the cat goes ahead. Roll me... A Salish

00:08:47.409 --> 00:09:00.309
check. Yeah. A Salish? Roll me a d20. What'd

00:09:00.309 --> 00:09:03.429
you get? Plus what? I'm trying to get it loaded

00:09:03.429 --> 00:09:10.240
here. Plus two. Okay. You're doing, like, your

00:09:10.240 --> 00:09:11.620
perception. Like, you're kind of looking out.

00:09:11.639 --> 00:09:13.559
But it's for a cat, so I'm telling you what to

00:09:13.559 --> 00:09:15.340
roll. Oh, I can't use my pluses. Yeah, I'm looking

00:09:15.340 --> 00:09:17.299
at you. Oh, okay, got you. So, six plus two.

00:09:17.600 --> 00:09:21.679
Six plus two. You, uh... Yeah, so she... You

00:09:21.679 --> 00:09:23.519
send her down here. You tell her to go, and she

00:09:23.519 --> 00:09:25.340
kind of just flitters away. And you see her kind

00:09:25.340 --> 00:09:27.279
of, like, going down this dark stairwell. And

00:09:27.279 --> 00:09:29.500
you just hear, like, a... And she, like, comes,

00:09:29.559 --> 00:09:30.879
like, squirreling back out. And she goes, I didn't

00:09:30.879 --> 00:09:32.299
see anything! And, like, flies right back into

00:09:32.299 --> 00:09:36.740
your chest. Yeah, so... Well... Either she got

00:09:36.740 --> 00:09:39.149
scared and ran, or... She got scared and ran.

00:09:39.509 --> 00:09:42.350
It's up to Duke Crystal now. I'll follow you,

00:09:42.370 --> 00:09:46.029
bud. Somebody else take point. It's fine. Please

00:09:46.029 --> 00:09:47.870
take. I'll follow you, bud. Your cat said it

00:09:47.870 --> 00:09:50.610
was all good. You trust it, right? She seemed

00:09:50.610 --> 00:09:53.169
to get scared, so obviously I'm going to follow

00:09:53.169 --> 00:09:56.029
one of you. Your cat's a liar is what you're

00:09:56.029 --> 00:09:58.049
saying. Okay, so who's leading? Who's going to

00:09:58.049 --> 00:10:00.690
go in first? Please take. Nice muffin. Dude,

00:10:00.730 --> 00:10:03.129
are you going in? Trudge forward, I go. Okay.

00:10:03.809 --> 00:10:06.779
I don't know why I said it that way. That's a

00:10:06.779 --> 00:10:09.360
flea stick thing. Fudge. Flea stick has lots

00:10:09.360 --> 00:10:11.320
of phrases that come out of nowhere. I'm starting

00:10:11.320 --> 00:10:15.279
the map session if you want to open it. Is that

00:10:15.279 --> 00:10:18.559
on... Can you send me a link? It's on D &D Beyond.

00:10:18.659 --> 00:10:21.860
You'll have to go to... Yeah, go to your character...

00:10:21.860 --> 00:10:26.600
Beyond, beyond, beyond, beyond. It's a flea stick.

00:10:26.779 --> 00:10:28.600
Since you're going first, I'll give you what

00:10:28.600 --> 00:10:31.679
you see. It's pretty dark heading down this stairwell

00:10:31.679 --> 00:10:34.740
until further a bit down the way you see a blip

00:10:34.740 --> 00:10:38.340
brazier... A brazier. A brazier. You see a lit

00:10:38.340 --> 00:10:41.320
brazier sitting in the middle of this room, which

00:10:41.320 --> 00:10:45.039
is full. Like, there's pews. There's six pillars

00:10:45.039 --> 00:10:47.679
on, three pillars on each side of the room. There's

00:10:47.679 --> 00:10:50.159
an altar at the far end, and you're seeing a

00:10:50.159 --> 00:10:52.659
couple, like, cultist -looking people dressed

00:10:52.659 --> 00:10:56.779
in the red Thayan outfits that you saw. The ones

00:10:56.779 --> 00:11:00.379
that assaulted the Ironspine Keep. How you doing?

00:11:01.399 --> 00:11:02.740
Are you just going to walk up and say, how you

00:11:02.740 --> 00:11:05.399
doing? Yeah, I'm going to keep my distance. You

00:11:05.399 --> 00:11:07.370
guys going to, like, sneak? I don't trust them

00:11:07.370 --> 00:11:12.289
yet. I don't know. Should we sneak? I'm walking

00:11:12.289 --> 00:11:15.889
through the doors. They're bad guys. Very bad

00:11:15.889 --> 00:11:20.629
guys. You can choose to sneak. Anything you want

00:11:20.629 --> 00:11:24.110
to do. I will put my cloak on. Try to talk. You

00:11:24.110 --> 00:11:27.870
can persuade. Be invisible. I'm going to try

00:11:27.870 --> 00:11:29.190
to talk my way out of this. I know I'm going

00:11:29.190 --> 00:11:32.909
to fail miserably, but let's do this. Are you

00:11:32.909 --> 00:11:36.769
going to just walk up? out the whole team or

00:11:36.769 --> 00:11:39.470
are you going up by yourself? Did you want to

00:11:39.470 --> 00:11:41.669
put your cloak on and just keep a safe distance

00:11:41.669 --> 00:11:45.250
and like cover my shit? So you're going invisible

00:11:45.250 --> 00:11:47.190
in the stairwell like kind of just like hanging

00:11:47.190 --> 00:11:50.669
back? Yeah I'll be close behind him so he's not

00:11:50.669 --> 00:11:53.990
alone. Okay so Miss Muffin give me a stealth

00:11:53.990 --> 00:11:56.789
check at advantage since you are invisible before

00:11:56.789 --> 00:11:59.269
any of this goes down. Luke's just gonna be that

00:11:59.269 --> 00:12:02.450
rage monster. 27. I'll stand right about the

00:12:02.450 --> 00:12:08.570
threshold in the shadows just a bit. 27. Let

00:12:08.570 --> 00:12:11.950
me roll for them. They failed. They don't see

00:12:11.950 --> 00:12:14.750
you. You're invisible. So Felicia, you walk up

00:12:14.750 --> 00:12:17.629
pretty much by yourself because Duke's kind of

00:12:17.629 --> 00:12:19.230
in the shadows of the stairwell and Ms. Muffin's

00:12:19.230 --> 00:12:22.350
invisible. What do you say? They're literally

00:12:22.350 --> 00:12:24.470
like hands together praying up at this altar

00:12:24.470 --> 00:12:29.399
just like saying some crazy shit. Have you heard

00:12:29.399 --> 00:12:33.159
of our Lord and Savior, Runky? What? Who the

00:12:33.159 --> 00:12:38.279
hell are you? I'm that man. You're that man?

00:12:38.539 --> 00:12:41.019
You're the one they're looking for? And you literally

00:12:41.019 --> 00:12:46.340
came here? Yeah, what's your problem? Would you

00:12:46.340 --> 00:12:53.980
be so kind to just come with me? No. No? I mean,

00:12:54.000 --> 00:12:55.860
where are we going, bro? I was going to take

00:12:55.860 --> 00:12:58.139
you into our main hideout down here. You made

00:12:58.139 --> 00:12:59.879
it in here. Obviously, you know you're supposed

00:12:59.879 --> 00:13:03.720
to come here. Okay, I'll bite. Okay, so are you

00:13:03.720 --> 00:13:05.659
going to follow them to the main room? Cautiously.

00:13:05.960 --> 00:13:07.399
Cautiously? Okay, what's the rest of you doing?

00:13:08.039 --> 00:13:11.240
Is Duke able to get invisible if he's under the

00:13:11.240 --> 00:13:14.370
cloak with me? How was he going to get down there

00:13:14.370 --> 00:13:19.269
too? I mean Ron and Harry did it. I think I can

00:13:19.269 --> 00:13:21.750
just stay in the shadows and follow at a distance

00:13:21.750 --> 00:13:24.549
behind. Yeah, it's not going to work. I don't

00:13:24.549 --> 00:13:25.809
think we're going to do a Harry Potter situation

00:13:25.809 --> 00:13:28.450
where you can ride his shoulders. We're not 12

00:13:28.450 --> 00:13:31.690
year olds. Little rascals like you ride his shoulders

00:13:31.690 --> 00:13:33.330
and you're just like one really tall person.

00:13:33.470 --> 00:13:36.629
Yeah, I'm going to rascal it. So you're just

00:13:36.629 --> 00:13:39.620
going to follow backwards or follow. behind invisible

00:13:39.620 --> 00:13:41.279
and duke's gonna they're gonna keep a distance

00:13:41.279 --> 00:13:45.379
and yeah don't blow your thing okay so uh flea

00:13:45.379 --> 00:13:48.960
stick you're being led through this small tunnel

00:13:48.960 --> 00:13:50.759
and it's it's dark there's no lights shining

00:13:50.759 --> 00:13:54.899
through here and uh you cut into this larger

00:13:54.899 --> 00:14:00.639
kind of square a larger square i'm trying to

00:14:00.639 --> 00:14:03.299
get this are you guys moving and the lord god

00:14:03.299 --> 00:14:06.059
ronkey said let there be light and there was

00:14:06.059 --> 00:14:08.759
light and it was good It's like flowing out of

00:14:08.759 --> 00:14:12.000
it. 19 plus 4. 19 plus 4? Okay, so you save from

00:14:12.000 --> 00:14:15.740
the actual evil power you feel flowing out of

00:14:15.740 --> 00:14:17.960
this thing. Like souls trapped inside of it.

00:14:18.019 --> 00:14:20.039
Oh, that's scary. So they said, what are you

00:14:20.039 --> 00:14:22.740
doing? Why are you reaching for that? I'm fixing

00:14:22.740 --> 00:14:25.639
it. Fixing it? You can't fix that. You don't

00:14:25.639 --> 00:14:29.679
have the right power. Says who? Says the power.

00:14:29.759 --> 00:14:34.000
I have the power of the God, son. Come with us.

00:14:34.580 --> 00:14:38.659
Just follow us and we'll lead you to the true

00:14:38.659 --> 00:14:41.519
power. I hope he dabeth the juice over your forehead.

00:14:41.840 --> 00:14:46.039
This is going a lot quicker and smoother than

00:14:46.039 --> 00:14:51.539
I thought it would. Jeez. This is about to get

00:14:51.539 --> 00:14:53.320
crazy, motherfuckers. I didn't even have to really

00:14:53.320 --> 00:14:56.279
do anything. Kelly, roll me another stealth check

00:14:56.279 --> 00:15:05.570
with advantage. So, flea stick, you step into

00:15:05.570 --> 00:15:10.110
this room, and it's a large, open... You say

00:15:10.110 --> 00:15:12.850
Kelly, but it's Miss Muffin! Miss Muffin, sorry.

00:15:13.070 --> 00:15:15.230
You're in the doorway, wherever you are, following

00:15:15.230 --> 00:15:17.370
behind. You step into this room, and as soon

00:15:17.370 --> 00:15:19.289
as you step through the threshold of this doorway,

00:15:19.389 --> 00:15:22.509
you see this large, open, cavernous area. And

00:15:22.509 --> 00:15:24.490
there's water flowing from the south, and from

00:15:24.490 --> 00:15:26.830
the north, and then from the east side, kind

00:15:26.830 --> 00:15:29.350
of just all converging and rushing through. But,

00:15:29.370 --> 00:15:34.230
more importantly, you see ahead of you... Another

00:15:34.230 --> 00:15:37.809
fan that is sitting at a table. Another fan sitting

00:15:37.809 --> 00:15:41.590
at a table. Then you see Duke Crystal strapped

00:15:41.590 --> 00:15:44.450
to this chair with tubes and stuff stuck inside

00:15:44.450 --> 00:15:47.830
of him. What? And then you see Duke Crystal's

00:15:47.830 --> 00:15:52.730
alternate universe self strapped into another

00:15:52.730 --> 00:15:57.409
chair with the tubes attached to him. What? Make

00:15:57.409 --> 00:16:00.210
it make sense. So, as you step forward, they

00:16:00.210 --> 00:16:03.500
say, you see the big, this is the big, fucking,

00:16:03.559 --> 00:16:06.700
you know, bulked out alternate of universe duke

00:16:06.700 --> 00:16:08.899
of this world. And he's strapped into the chair

00:16:08.899 --> 00:16:12.399
and he goes, So, you thought we wouldn't find

00:16:12.399 --> 00:16:15.580
out about your buddy's demon powers, huh? Lucky

00:16:15.580 --> 00:16:19.039
for you guys, we have the perfect binding power

00:16:19.039 --> 00:16:21.779
to match a demon and spark it to a new soul.

00:16:22.120 --> 00:16:24.820
I'm gonna get that demon, boys! And then everyone

00:16:24.820 --> 00:16:26.860
starts getting up and tries to attack you. But

00:16:26.860 --> 00:16:30.059
before you can do anything else, Miss Muffin.

00:16:31.370 --> 00:16:34.509
A certain somebody who wasn't really Duke Crystal

00:16:34.509 --> 00:16:37.250
but was actually a doppelganger that kidnapped

00:16:37.250 --> 00:16:39.870
Duke Crystal from the pleasure pile when he failed

00:16:39.870 --> 00:16:41.730
to see the guy slipping stuff into his drink.

00:16:42.250 --> 00:16:45.850
So, Duke Crystal behind you fades away into this

00:16:45.850 --> 00:16:48.730
like shifting creature that stands before you

00:16:48.730 --> 00:16:50.769
as a doppelganger. His eyes are just appearing

00:16:50.769 --> 00:16:53.529
white. He goes, you really fell for it. And he

00:16:53.529 --> 00:16:57.909
shoves you. So give me a opposed strength or

00:16:57.909 --> 00:17:02.889
dexterity check. I got date rape drugs. I had

00:17:02.889 --> 00:17:04.789
to work with Nate on this one a little bit because

00:17:04.789 --> 00:17:06.950
he was a doppelganger and I didn't want to have

00:17:06.950 --> 00:17:08.890
to play the doppelganger. I thought Nate was

00:17:08.890 --> 00:17:10.349
trying to convince you guys to get to this place.

00:17:10.609 --> 00:17:12.009
That's why I stayed in the back. It worked out.

00:17:12.069 --> 00:17:13.829
He was hiding in the back. I was like, hell yeah.

00:17:13.970 --> 00:17:17.109
Eight? Eight? You get pushed and shoved over

00:17:17.109 --> 00:17:19.609
and your cloak invisibility breaks and you come.

00:17:19.869 --> 00:17:22.230
Breaks? Not breaks, but your invisibility goes

00:17:22.230 --> 00:17:25.490
away. And you roll backwards into this room and

00:17:25.490 --> 00:17:50.220
roll me initiative. Yes. You are part of this,

00:17:50.279 --> 00:17:52.299
but you are strapped in, so more so now it is

00:17:52.299 --> 00:17:54.460
a matter of... The real Duke is strapped in.

00:17:54.519 --> 00:17:56.559
Yes. The real Duke is... Prisoner. They are trying

00:17:56.559 --> 00:17:58.859
to siphon the demon out of Duke and put it into

00:17:58.859 --> 00:18:03.019
their version. Well, real Duke rolled a 10. Okay,

00:18:03.119 --> 00:18:05.500
let me get it. That 20, damn. Yeah, plus four,

00:18:05.559 --> 00:18:07.279
actually. You know, bitch slapped that doppelganger.

00:18:10.839 --> 00:18:14.640
Put your nuts on his chin. If we hurt the doppelganger,

00:18:14.720 --> 00:18:17.470
will it hurt the Nate? I mean, the Duke is...

00:18:17.470 --> 00:18:18.990
No, no, no. You guys fought them before already.

00:18:20.269 --> 00:18:22.309
What were they the last time? You guys fought

00:18:22.309 --> 00:18:24.910
them inside of the scroll the first time. They

00:18:24.910 --> 00:18:27.690
were us. Yeah. All my trash came back, bitch!

00:18:27.789 --> 00:18:29.990
It's just Dukes, though. Dukes is all you see.

00:18:29.990 --> 00:18:33.769
Where is my cat? Uh -oh. I forgot about that.

00:18:34.470 --> 00:18:37.009
Freaking out. Okay, I'm sorry. I'm trying to

00:18:37.009 --> 00:18:38.589
figure out what's going on here. Oh, whoa, hey.

00:18:38.829 --> 00:18:40.829
I tried to give, like, a couple hints that I

00:18:40.829 --> 00:18:42.759
was the traitor. Like, if you, like, rolled really

00:18:42.759 --> 00:18:44.940
good on charisma, and they were going to be like,

00:18:45.059 --> 00:18:46.539
oh, okay, well, you can go on and do whatever

00:18:46.539 --> 00:18:48.279
you want. I was going to be like, well, fuck

00:18:48.279 --> 00:18:50.420
you guys! It's like shit coming out of the chest.

00:18:50.660 --> 00:18:53.819
And try to start a fight. That way it would be

00:18:53.819 --> 00:18:55.440
like, well. That would be the Duke way. All right,

00:18:55.460 --> 00:18:59.660
so. I almost did, though, because I was like,

00:18:59.700 --> 00:19:02.079
fuck you guys. I know, I saw it was almost going

00:19:02.079 --> 00:19:03.359
to go bad, and then you were just like, I'll

00:19:03.359 --> 00:19:04.940
follow you. I was like, he's just walking right

00:19:04.940 --> 00:19:06.420
into the trap. I know, I was like, oh, he's going

00:19:06.420 --> 00:19:08.519
to go. I mean, there was another room to search

00:19:08.519 --> 00:19:09.960
and stuff. I was like, they're going to get caught

00:19:09.960 --> 00:19:12.079
in some other shit. Can we double back? You guys,

00:19:12.140 --> 00:19:13.880
eventually, sure, maybe. I was like, I'll just

00:19:13.880 --> 00:19:16.900
follow. Eventually, sure, maybe. So, Duke, what

00:19:16.900 --> 00:19:19.700
did you get, real Duke, on your initiative? Tim.

00:19:21.359 --> 00:19:22.880
Please stick. What did you get on your initiative?

00:19:23.099 --> 00:19:27.859
I didn't roll. No, re -roll. That's off the table.

00:19:28.400 --> 00:19:31.319
Plus whatever your initiative value is. That's

00:19:31.319 --> 00:19:36.920
a six. We'll just say you got that seven. Ms.

00:19:37.079 --> 00:19:38.960
Muffin, you got a nat 20? Your first roll was

00:19:38.960 --> 00:19:44.299
20. Yeah, I got a nat 20 plus four. Okay, now

00:19:44.299 --> 00:19:47.079
I'm going to roll for all these. It's not nice.

00:19:47.099 --> 00:19:49.039
I'm scared going first. I'm going to do the special

00:19:49.039 --> 00:19:55.519
D &D Beyond auto initiative. Okay, so we're going

00:19:55.519 --> 00:19:57.960
to start this combat. You can't do that. We roll

00:19:57.960 --> 00:20:01.380
real dice here. There's a lot of characters,

00:20:01.599 --> 00:20:03.140
enemies. I didn't want to roll all those dice.

00:20:04.000 --> 00:20:06.140
I was also glad I wouldn't have to transform

00:20:06.140 --> 00:20:10.299
into a demon. There you go. I wouldn't be able

00:20:10.299 --> 00:20:13.839
to. Is it doppelganger? So, first up, because,

00:20:14.000 --> 00:20:16.339
well, actually, Kelly, Miss Muffin. Not Kelly,

00:20:16.460 --> 00:20:18.519
Miss Muffin, the character. You're going first

00:20:18.519 --> 00:20:21.119
because you got a nat 20. So you're first up.

00:20:21.539 --> 00:20:23.660
You just got pushed backwards, rolled, and you're

00:20:23.660 --> 00:20:25.680
almost like back -to -back with the flea stick

00:20:25.680 --> 00:20:29.740
where he was. And the doppelganger is ready.

00:20:30.359 --> 00:20:34.119
I can't. Is that supposed to be like that? Refresh.

00:20:34.140 --> 00:20:36.180
Face -to -face to me where I can just go ahead

00:20:36.180 --> 00:20:37.220
and dagger him without having to move? Yeah,

00:20:37.240 --> 00:20:38.779
you're close enough. You can move. You're like

00:20:38.779 --> 00:20:41.079
five feet away, ten feet away. So I'm going to

00:20:41.079 --> 00:20:45.599
whip out. My both -hander daggers. Okay. Both

00:20:45.599 --> 00:20:48.079
-hander daggers. Both -hander daggers. That's

00:20:48.079 --> 00:20:50.759
a two -handed dagger. I got double -handed daggers

00:20:50.759 --> 00:20:52.180
in my bag. You're going to need two hands for

00:20:52.180 --> 00:20:54.039
this bad boy. That's a two -roll. One slice.

00:20:54.500 --> 00:20:56.900
Somebody's going skiing. And you guys did long

00:20:56.900 --> 00:20:58.960
rest, so I think everybody should be at full

00:20:58.960 --> 00:21:03.599
health, full magic, full dagger venom, all that

00:21:03.599 --> 00:21:06.859
stuff. So roll with advantage. Actually, you

00:21:06.859 --> 00:21:08.660
do because you're an assassin, so you get advantage

00:21:08.660 --> 00:21:13.849
on your first attack before anybody. For the

00:21:13.849 --> 00:21:18.950
right hand, hit. Okay, 12 to hit? Yeah. In total,

00:21:19.089 --> 00:21:22.450
like no pluses or anything? No. I roll with advantage

00:21:22.450 --> 00:21:25.910
also. You do have pluses. I have four plus eight.

00:21:26.089 --> 00:21:29.910
Oh, okay. That's a miss. No, you missed. Okay,

00:21:29.930 --> 00:21:39.509
second hand. That's why we try again. Oh. Well,

00:21:39.549 --> 00:21:42.009
that's 16. Eight plus eight. That one will hit.

00:21:42.730 --> 00:21:46.650
Okay, that's a 1D4. Offhand. 1D4 stab. Plus 5.

00:21:49.369 --> 00:21:54.609
2 plus 5. Damage. 2 plus 5 damage. That's 10,

00:21:54.670 --> 00:21:59.309
right? That's like a ribcage shot. Close. Alright

00:21:59.309 --> 00:22:04.410
then. Is that all you're doing? Um, well, what

00:22:04.410 --> 00:22:06.829
else can I do? You have to refresh me every time

00:22:06.829 --> 00:22:09.410
I remember. I used both hands. Oh, then you cannot.

00:22:09.809 --> 00:22:13.130
Then I'm stuck right there. You could have disengaged,

00:22:13.150 --> 00:22:16.309
but your bonus action is that stab, so yes. That's

00:22:16.309 --> 00:22:18.970
it. Alright, so then that means first up, after

00:22:18.970 --> 00:22:21.609
Miss Muffin, since she got the 20, is Tratorin,

00:22:21.670 --> 00:22:25.839
which is Duke's counterpart. Tratoran, not Clatoris.

00:22:27.259 --> 00:22:30.720
He's in this chair, and you guys see these tubes

00:22:30.720 --> 00:22:33.819
are stuck into him. You see the black symbiotic

00:22:33.819 --> 00:22:35.900
that was used to be fused to Duke is kind of

00:22:35.900 --> 00:22:40.640
pulsing. It's not in him, but it's pulsing. But

00:22:40.640 --> 00:22:44.519
his turn is going to be making his save. And

00:22:44.519 --> 00:22:48.759
he saves. His con save to try to inhale the demon.

00:22:49.059 --> 00:22:51.500
So yeah, he saves, but that's all he can do because

00:22:51.500 --> 00:22:54.630
he's stuck to that machine right now. Miss Nothing

00:22:54.630 --> 00:22:58.589
went. It is going to be one of the Thayan's turns.

00:22:58.970 --> 00:23:03.710
What do they have to do real quick? Oh, that's

00:23:03.710 --> 00:23:05.529
the wrong thing. I forgot. I have their stats

00:23:05.529 --> 00:23:15.009
over here. Okay, this thing is going to... Technically,

00:23:15.049 --> 00:23:16.809
that thing is going to wipe the fucking floor

00:23:16.809 --> 00:23:19.890
with you. It's got my shit. Theoretically, it's

00:23:19.890 --> 00:23:22.420
got my equipment. This thing's a beast. It looks

00:23:22.420 --> 00:23:24.059
like a beast. Because it wouldn't look like me

00:23:24.059 --> 00:23:25.599
if it would have woke up with none of its shit

00:23:25.599 --> 00:23:28.180
like it had been robbed. I didn't really think

00:23:28.180 --> 00:23:31.539
of that. This thing looks like a straight gladiator.

00:23:31.980 --> 00:23:34.240
Spikes coming out of a Spartan helmet. I just

00:23:34.240 --> 00:23:35.500
had an idea. I was like, I'm going to do a bunch

00:23:35.500 --> 00:23:37.599
of drugs and OD this motherfucking guy who's

00:23:37.599 --> 00:23:39.660
got the tubes hooked into him. But then I was

00:23:39.660 --> 00:23:41.700
like, my drugs are in the backpack on the doppelganger's

00:23:41.700 --> 00:23:45.099
backpack. Where's our globulus? He does have

00:23:45.099 --> 00:23:46.940
your weapon. Back at camp. He does have your

00:23:46.940 --> 00:23:48.740
gear. I didn't think of all that. So, yeah, yeah,

00:23:48.799 --> 00:23:52.700
yeah. Okay. But anyways, the Thayan is going

00:23:52.700 --> 00:23:57.059
to cast Mage Armor on itself. Nate Armor? Mage

00:23:57.059 --> 00:23:59.000
Armor. Mage Armor. I'm going to give this one

00:23:59.000 --> 00:24:01.119
a little border so I can see that it's got armor,

00:24:02.160 --> 00:24:07.519
which will increase its AC as a mage. How dare

00:24:07.519 --> 00:24:10.190
you? But that's its turn, because that's all

00:24:10.190 --> 00:24:13.109
it can do. Next one is the other Thane Apprentice.

00:24:13.190 --> 00:24:15.289
You know what it's going to do? The same thing.

00:24:15.450 --> 00:24:20.470
Mage Armor! So it increases its AC! Duke Crystal,

00:24:20.650 --> 00:24:22.470
it is your turn. What do you want to do? You

00:24:22.470 --> 00:24:24.890
are strapped into this thing. You don't have

00:24:24.890 --> 00:24:29.410
your gear. How much movement do I have? You can't

00:24:29.410 --> 00:24:31.269
really move. You're strapped to a chair. You're

00:24:31.269 --> 00:24:35.569
like arms, and you've got these tubes stuck into

00:24:35.569 --> 00:24:38.829
you. These black and red tubes. Is my head strapped

00:24:38.829 --> 00:24:40.990
down? No, your head is not strapped down. It's

00:24:40.990 --> 00:24:42.609
just like into this chair. Can I lean forward

00:24:42.609 --> 00:24:45.250
and bite at the tubes like snapping my own umbilical

00:24:45.250 --> 00:24:49.470
cord? Yeah, you can try. Give me a, I guess that

00:24:49.470 --> 00:24:52.349
would be strength. Yes. Can't you use the demon

00:24:52.349 --> 00:24:54.890
inside you still anyways? I don't know what that'll

00:24:54.890 --> 00:24:56.970
do if he's hooked to hoses and I turn into them.

00:24:57.170 --> 00:24:59.410
I mean, it'll make an explosion, that's for sure.

00:24:59.529 --> 00:25:02.210
Yeah, true. But he also is being half -sliced.

00:25:02.309 --> 00:25:04.509
We'll save that for last for sure. If I can't

00:25:04.509 --> 00:25:06.609
bite through him, we'll see. Oh yeah, I'm biting

00:25:06.609 --> 00:25:11.809
through him. That's a 21. Okay, so what is your

00:25:11.809 --> 00:25:16.890
unarmed damage? Boop it. I'll have to check.

00:25:17.269 --> 00:25:19.269
I feel like this is actually more of an attack

00:25:19.269 --> 00:25:22.250
roll. Probably, yes. With teeth. So we'll just

00:25:22.250 --> 00:25:28.829
go with the roll, but we'll do the damage. That

00:25:28.829 --> 00:25:32.809
would be... Probably quite big. Plus 8 to hit

00:25:32.809 --> 00:25:36.759
with 6 damage. Okay. 6 damage? Like it just says

00:25:36.759 --> 00:25:41.059
6 damage? Yeah, just flat 6. Not 1d10, just...

00:25:41.059 --> 00:25:52.079
That's weird. That's weird, I don't know. That's

00:25:52.079 --> 00:25:55.700
what it rolled for. Roll me a d6 plus your strength.

00:25:56.619 --> 00:26:01.579
That's weird. That's weird, I don't like that.

00:26:02.039 --> 00:26:05.720
7. 7? Okay, so... I'm going to do damage to that

00:26:05.720 --> 00:26:09.220
thing. You're kind of just like gnawing on this

00:26:09.220 --> 00:26:10.799
thing. You're feeling kind of like split and

00:26:10.799 --> 00:26:13.200
cracked, but it's tough. So it's going to take

00:26:13.200 --> 00:26:14.640
some more gnawing if you're going to want to

00:26:14.640 --> 00:26:18.140
do that. I guess, are you doing... Second attack.

00:26:18.279 --> 00:26:19.700
I was going to say, you have extra attack time.

00:26:19.720 --> 00:26:23.619
You're gnawing on my straw. Like, come on. Let's

00:26:23.619 --> 00:26:27.339
see. You're going for strength roll again? You

00:26:27.339 --> 00:26:31.279
can do attack roll. Okay. Eighteen to bite? Yeah.

00:26:32.750 --> 00:26:35.869
I figured it's not going to dodge me. That would

00:26:35.869 --> 00:26:39.750
be five plus five, ten. Ten? Okay, so yeah, you

00:26:39.750 --> 00:26:42.849
reach down and you're like, I'm gnawing on this

00:26:42.849 --> 00:26:44.470
fucking thing, and you feel it like... The dude's

00:26:44.470 --> 00:26:46.109
probably like, what the fuck is this? He's like,

00:26:46.230 --> 00:26:49.329
dude, bro, stop. You're going to fuck it up.

00:26:49.410 --> 00:26:51.049
And then he has me saying that you see it just

00:26:51.049 --> 00:26:56.079
split, and it's like this mini atomic... It's

00:26:56.079 --> 00:26:58.319
like kind of popped and sends you flying backwards

00:26:58.319 --> 00:27:01.319
and sends him smashed into the wall. Roll me

00:27:01.319 --> 00:27:04.220
a con save. I like it. Oh shit, I don't need

00:27:04.220 --> 00:27:06.039
to roll that. That guy's like, no, no, no, no,

00:27:06.039 --> 00:27:07.880
no. He's like, bang, out into the wall. I go

00:27:07.880 --> 00:27:09.700
into the middle of the room. Con save? Yeah.

00:27:10.649 --> 00:27:14.130
Uh, how's a 23 do? Uh, 23 will do. So, you're

00:27:14.130 --> 00:27:16.809
going to take 4 damage still from being blasted

00:27:16.809 --> 00:27:18.769
off of this thing. And, like, landing on the

00:27:18.769 --> 00:27:21.049
ground. I'll say it threw you about 10, 15 feet.

00:27:21.130 --> 00:27:23.789
So, you landed, like, past. You blew past this,

00:27:23.849 --> 00:27:26.250
like, pig roasting thing. Just knocked it over

00:27:26.250 --> 00:27:28.990
and blew the fire over. Yeah, like, what the

00:27:28.990 --> 00:27:32.490
fuck? Uh, but what was your con save? 23. 23?

00:27:32.730 --> 00:27:35.230
Okay, good. So, as you bite and rip this thing,

00:27:35.289 --> 00:27:37.609
though, you hear, like... as we established last

00:27:37.609 --> 00:27:40.549
episode you hear your father's voice and he goes

00:27:40.549 --> 00:27:43.210
good job my boy and you feel like and like the

00:27:43.210 --> 00:27:45.329
black symbiotic just sucks right back into you

00:27:45.329 --> 00:27:47.970
yeah you get the you saved yourself from being

00:27:47.970 --> 00:27:50.210
the demon ripped out of you nice see my demon

00:27:50.210 --> 00:27:55.109
yeah but uh that guy got smoked he took more

00:27:55.109 --> 00:27:59.269
damage so take that off of his really big health

00:27:59.269 --> 00:28:02.839
bar he got two So, yeah, he blasts into that

00:28:02.839 --> 00:28:04.619
wall. He's got these tubes just, like, kind of

00:28:04.619 --> 00:28:06.119
hanging out of him still, and they're, like,

00:28:06.119 --> 00:28:08.000
blood dripping out of him. The symbiotic black's

00:28:08.000 --> 00:28:11.279
kind of oozing out of it. But, yeah, you did

00:28:11.279 --> 00:28:15.279
that. Very nice. That was your turn. I'm about

00:28:15.279 --> 00:28:18.099
to go feral on these fools. No weapons, straight

00:28:18.099 --> 00:28:19.920
calls. So, flea stick. After all this kind of

00:28:19.920 --> 00:28:22.420
erupts, you know, Miss Muffin gets pushed out,

00:28:22.519 --> 00:28:26.380
stabs this doppelganger guy. The cultists are

00:28:26.380 --> 00:28:27.859
like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, shit's popping

00:28:27.859 --> 00:28:30.240
off. And then this thing just explodes. And throughout,

00:28:30.279 --> 00:28:32.519
you see Duke get flown backwards, blast through

00:28:32.519 --> 00:28:35.160
a fire pit. And the three cultists just immediately

00:28:35.160 --> 00:28:38.000
turn and turn around and look at you. And they're

00:28:38.000 --> 00:28:40.779
going to attack. Their balls are puckered now.

00:28:40.980 --> 00:28:46.079
Yeah. Their balls? He's free. It finally bounced

00:28:46.079 --> 00:28:48.220
across the room. He's going to make a melee weapon

00:28:48.220 --> 00:28:50.900
attack with a scimitar. These guys aren't super

00:28:50.900 --> 00:28:52.059
strong, so we're going to have a great time.

00:28:52.160 --> 00:28:56.900
Ten plus three. That won't hit you, right? No.

00:28:57.059 --> 00:29:03.019
Okay, so that one fails. So I'm going to do that

00:29:03.019 --> 00:29:05.539
again, because that's all he's got. Eight plus

00:29:05.539 --> 00:29:08.559
three, that don't hit. And then the other cultist

00:29:08.559 --> 00:29:11.059
sees them both whiff, and this one's like, oh,

00:29:11.059 --> 00:29:13.779
fuck, I really hope I hit this. And she just

00:29:13.779 --> 00:29:15.559
whiffs right at the ground, and they're all just

00:29:15.559 --> 00:29:17.559
kind of looking up at flea stick and tear for

00:29:17.559 --> 00:29:19.660
once. You're the one that's looking to breathe

00:29:19.660 --> 00:29:23.579
some stink in their face. Who wants that dumpster

00:29:23.579 --> 00:29:25.819
juice, bitch? It's your turn, so give them the

00:29:25.819 --> 00:29:30.819
dumpster juice. It's your turn, so. Tickle, tickle.

00:29:32.000 --> 00:29:35.420
Okay. Well. You got three in front of you, two

00:29:35.420 --> 00:29:37.400
standing by a table on the other side of Duke.

00:29:37.680 --> 00:29:41.259
Triton blasts into a wall. I'm going to attack

00:29:41.259 --> 00:29:43.539
Coltis, too, because she looks like a bitch.

00:29:43.660 --> 00:29:45.500
Yeah, that's the one that tried to hit you last

00:29:45.500 --> 00:29:47.299
and missed. Yeah. What are you hitting her with?

00:29:47.599 --> 00:29:50.180
You're pretty close. You're about five feet from

00:29:50.180 --> 00:29:51.839
her. I'm going to hit her with my Dragon Slayer.

00:29:52.119 --> 00:29:54.720
Okay. Dragon Slayer. I haven't used that in a

00:29:54.720 --> 00:29:58.940
while. Fourteen plus three. Is that it? Yeah,

00:29:58.940 --> 00:30:04.819
that'll hit. All righty. Four. One plus three.

00:30:06.299 --> 00:30:09.720
Four damage. Good. What did you use? The sword?

00:30:09.819 --> 00:30:11.180
Yeah, you see her come down with your sword and

00:30:11.180 --> 00:30:12.859
just slash her right across the chest. And she's

00:30:12.859 --> 00:30:15.119
like, oh, shit! Like, falls to her knee, but

00:30:15.119 --> 00:30:18.119
still alive, so... Not a dragon. Anything else

00:30:18.119 --> 00:30:20.660
you want to do? In the name of Rumpke, that was

00:30:20.660 --> 00:30:22.900
a weak hit. She's obviously not a dragon. Did

00:30:22.900 --> 00:30:25.819
not slay her. I'm going to take that dragon sword,

00:30:25.940 --> 00:30:29.779
or no, I'm sorry, my spiritual weapon. You're

00:30:29.779 --> 00:30:30.720
going to spawn it? Where are you spawning it?

00:30:30.799 --> 00:30:34.759
I'm going to spawn it. And it's only going to

00:30:34.759 --> 00:30:40.960
be underneath her cheeks. Really spiritual weapon.

00:30:41.559 --> 00:30:43.500
While it's spawning, you've got to cause it's

00:30:43.500 --> 00:30:48.619
damage. It's a spike. Okay, so where do you spot

00:30:48.619 --> 00:30:52.579
it? Just like right in front of her. So like

00:30:52.579 --> 00:30:54.019
right there when you pile it with you? Yeah.

00:30:54.220 --> 00:31:02.359
Okay. We'll do this right here. And... I'm going

00:31:02.359 --> 00:31:04.019
to make it in the shape of a hand. I'm just going

00:31:04.019 --> 00:31:07.119
to bitch slap this shit out of her. Okay, so

00:31:07.119 --> 00:31:10.160
you're bitch slapping. Spiritual weapon pops

00:31:10.160 --> 00:31:16.740
up. Hold hand. Yeah, exactly. Smash! Hulk smash.

00:31:17.440 --> 00:31:29.579
Okay. Um... Okay. Shit. 13 plus 8? Yeah. I just

00:31:29.579 --> 00:31:34.460
had it where you go. Jesus Christ. I should have

00:31:34.460 --> 00:31:41.660
kept it. That'd be 9 damage. 4 plus 5. To the

00:31:41.660 --> 00:31:45.460
same one, right? Yep, to the same... Uh, Clark

00:31:45.460 --> 00:31:48.180
II, er, yeah. Yeah, Coltus II. Coltus II, named

00:31:48.180 --> 00:31:51.380
by their parents, gets slashed upside the head

00:31:51.380 --> 00:31:53.619
with this super bitch slap that echoes throughout

00:31:53.619 --> 00:31:55.579
this cavernous area, and she just falls to the

00:31:55.579 --> 00:31:58.279
face down into the water next door. She's dead.

00:31:59.539 --> 00:32:02.900
It echoes. Test the bitch. Test the bitch. Test

00:32:02.900 --> 00:32:05.519
the bitch. Test the bitch. Okay, that was your

00:32:05.519 --> 00:32:08.019
turn. Okay. Now it's the doppelganger's turn.

00:32:09.200 --> 00:32:13.480
Let me see this thing real quick. No. Okay. Kelly.

00:32:14.170 --> 00:32:16.309
Make me a wisdom saving throw. Miss Muffin, make

00:32:16.309 --> 00:32:18.210
me a wisdom saving throw. As this thing turns

00:32:18.210 --> 00:32:21.089
and looks at you and has this unsettling visage.

00:32:21.089 --> 00:32:25.369
This fucking awful looking face. This creature

00:32:25.369 --> 00:32:29.170
of unworldly nastiness. He knows your nightmares.

00:32:29.529 --> 00:32:31.130
Think of when you see Slender Man in the woods.

00:32:31.490 --> 00:32:34.710
That's the feeling you're getting. Seven. You

00:32:34.710 --> 00:32:38.250
fail. Okay, so this thing flashes you with this

00:32:38.250 --> 00:32:43.259
scare. You are now frightened. And you will repeat

00:32:43.259 --> 00:32:45.880
the save at the end of each of your turns. He

00:32:45.880 --> 00:32:48.880
opened his trench coat. Yes, he flashed it. And

00:32:48.880 --> 00:32:52.720
his doppelgangered out. He had 27 spiraling vortex

00:32:52.720 --> 00:33:02.960
penises. Hey, it's your dummy master, Tristan.

00:33:03.079 --> 00:33:05.519
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00:33:44.500 --> 00:33:47.880
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00:33:47.880 --> 00:33:50.299
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00:33:50.299 --> 00:33:53.819
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discount code. Thank you, W Energy. We have what?

00:33:59.049 --> 00:34:01.710
You have disadvantage on ability checks and attack

00:34:01.710 --> 00:34:05.509
rolls. And you cannot move closer to the thing

00:34:05.509 --> 00:34:07.670
that you were scared of. So you are now forced

00:34:07.670 --> 00:34:09.929
to move away from the doppelganger. Yeah, pretty

00:34:09.929 --> 00:34:15.309
much. So, use that. That means you're running

00:34:15.309 --> 00:34:17.949
away in fear without the choice. Which means

00:34:17.949 --> 00:34:21.210
opportunity attack. How do you sound when you

00:34:21.210 --> 00:34:25.349
run away? So as you... What's your full movement

00:34:25.349 --> 00:34:30.329
speed? I think 30. So you are going to move...

00:34:30.329 --> 00:34:34.610
30. 30 feet. I'm going to roll something to see

00:34:34.610 --> 00:34:37.210
which direction you run. No, I don't want to

00:34:37.210 --> 00:34:40.190
roll anything. It's too bad. Okay, so you run

00:34:40.190 --> 00:34:43.329
directly up as fast as you can, and you get to

00:34:43.329 --> 00:34:45.489
the far northern side, and you're just kind of

00:34:45.489 --> 00:34:47.349
like huddled next to some boxes that ran from

00:34:47.349 --> 00:34:49.190
that creature that you just saw. Pure fright.

00:34:49.289 --> 00:34:50.429
But you're going to get hit with an opportunity

00:34:50.429 --> 00:34:53.869
attack because you had to run away from it. Ooh.

00:34:55.130 --> 00:34:59.570
Uh, fuck. Four plus six. Oh, it's a multi -attack.

00:35:00.309 --> 00:35:04.389
15 plus 6. As you take off running, you just

00:35:04.389 --> 00:35:06.469
feel these hands club you in the back of the

00:35:06.469 --> 00:35:08.769
head with this huge slam. But don't she have

00:35:08.769 --> 00:35:12.369
some retaliation thing or whatever? Not when

00:35:12.369 --> 00:35:17.289
he's doing that attack. She had to run away,

00:35:17.489 --> 00:35:20.070
so he's good. So you got 2 plus 4. I thought

00:35:20.070 --> 00:35:22.510
she had this in the injury. Well, it doesn't

00:35:22.510 --> 00:35:28.539
count. It was instinct to run like this. So,

00:35:28.579 --> 00:35:31.800
yeah, you take two plus four damage as this thing

00:35:31.800 --> 00:35:33.179
clubs you in the back of the head as you just

00:35:33.179 --> 00:35:37.880
run away. Okay. Okay. We're getting crazy up

00:35:37.880 --> 00:35:42.420
in here. My head. Squeaky squeak. We're going

00:35:42.420 --> 00:35:43.900
to have to doppel it again. It is Kletoran's

00:35:43.900 --> 00:35:47.440
turn now. He kind of stands up after getting

00:35:47.440 --> 00:35:50.840
blasted. You see a form of him in the wall still,

00:35:51.000 --> 00:35:53.400
like the hole in Looney Tunes character. Kletoran?

00:35:53.519 --> 00:35:56.889
Yeah, Kletoran. And he steps down and he says,

00:35:56.989 --> 00:35:59.469
Dude, Crystal, you fucked up. You're mine. He

00:35:59.469 --> 00:36:03.110
takes off sprinting right at you. Just rub him

00:36:03.110 --> 00:36:09.710
really fast. Just rub him really quickly. I'm

00:36:09.710 --> 00:36:12.250
going to fuck him up. He's lucky. I was going

00:36:12.250 --> 00:36:14.110
to fuck that thing and burn myself right next

00:36:14.110 --> 00:36:18.309
to him, but he chose the death instead. I hope

00:36:18.309 --> 00:36:21.489
he steps on his hose and rips it out of his underwear.

00:36:21.849 --> 00:36:25.420
He takes off sprinting at you. What is his...

00:36:25.420 --> 00:36:26.840
I'm trying to figure out what I got here. He

00:36:26.840 --> 00:36:29.199
trips on his dick. Trips on his dick. He does

00:36:29.199 --> 00:36:31.480
have two hoses hanging out of his guts. So he's

00:36:31.480 --> 00:36:34.739
got a spear and a big shield on his arm, and

00:36:34.739 --> 00:36:36.679
he takes off just charging at you with this spear.

00:36:37.480 --> 00:36:40.139
He's going to try to attack you, but that's a

00:36:40.139 --> 00:36:43.840
fucking natural one. Yeah. That goes straight.

00:36:43.880 --> 00:36:47.119
He trips on his hose. He did. He runs, and he

00:36:47.119 --> 00:36:49.619
steps right on his hose and flips as he's sprinting

00:36:49.619 --> 00:36:53.059
at you, and he's like, Duke, you fuck! And he

00:36:53.059 --> 00:36:54.980
just falls right into that fire pit, so I'm going

00:36:54.980 --> 00:36:57.840
to give him some fire damage. He should have

00:36:57.840 --> 00:37:00.219
speared himself in the head. He's getting three

00:37:00.219 --> 00:37:02.559
fire damage as he trips and looks like a big

00:37:02.559 --> 00:37:05.179
old jackass. That's what he gets. But he's a

00:37:05.179 --> 00:37:07.920
little bit closer, dude. So yeah, that was his

00:37:07.920 --> 00:37:10.000
turn. I would give him the multi -attack that

00:37:10.000 --> 00:37:13.460
he has, but he's on fire and he critical failed.

00:37:13.619 --> 00:37:15.320
Miss Muffin, it's your turn. That basic bitch

00:37:15.320 --> 00:37:18.159
is mine. You can still do stuff, you just cannot

00:37:18.159 --> 00:37:21.590
move closer to the doppelganger. I'm going to

00:37:21.590 --> 00:37:26.469
cloak back up and be invisible again. Um, can

00:37:26.469 --> 00:37:28.969
you? Are you allowed to just keep using it? Isn't

00:37:28.969 --> 00:37:32.429
it like once per short rest or something? Actually,

00:37:32.550 --> 00:37:34.730
I don't remember. I feel like it's pretty OP

00:37:34.730 --> 00:37:39.730
if you just continuously be like... I mean, if

00:37:39.730 --> 00:37:41.570
you really think about it, that's how it would

00:37:41.570 --> 00:37:45.539
work. It'd be shredded by now. This cloak has

00:37:45.539 --> 00:37:49.960
three charges and regains 1d3 expended charges

00:37:49.960 --> 00:37:52.340
daily at dawn. Okay, so yeah, you still have

00:37:52.340 --> 00:37:54.019
two charges. Cool. Are you going to go invisible?

00:37:54.320 --> 00:37:56.679
Yep, I'm going to go invisible. Okay. Uh -oh.

00:37:56.940 --> 00:38:01.099
Steps in water. Bonus action. Bloop. Bloop. Swing

00:38:01.099 --> 00:38:04.699
sword. So, make me a stealth check with advantage.

00:38:04.940 --> 00:38:07.239
Okay. Actually, with disadvantage, because you

00:38:07.239 --> 00:38:08.780
were feared. Yeah, I was going to say people

00:38:08.780 --> 00:38:10.780
know why. Hey, why don't they just laugh when

00:38:10.780 --> 00:38:31.820
they run through grass? Thirteen. Since you're

00:38:31.820 --> 00:38:34.019
since you're stealth if you attack somebody you

00:38:34.019 --> 00:38:42.980
will get rid of the disadvantage You get one

00:38:42.980 --> 00:38:47.199
use, I think, per day to stick somebody with

00:38:47.199 --> 00:38:50.400
the poison. And then you have to roll. You can

00:38:50.400 --> 00:38:54.719
use an action to cause thick black poison to

00:38:54.719 --> 00:38:57.719
coat the blade. The poison remains for one minute

00:38:57.719 --> 00:39:03.199
or until attack using this weapon hits a creature.

00:39:03.480 --> 00:39:06.840
So you can activate it and then attack. DC 15

00:39:06.840 --> 00:39:10.659
constitution saving throw. 2d10 poison damage.

00:39:12.110 --> 00:39:15.090
Yeah, so I was gonna say I wanted to do that

00:39:15.090 --> 00:39:18.289
but You can only do your bonus action attack

00:39:18.289 --> 00:39:21.309
afterwards Since it takes a turn or an action

00:39:21.309 --> 00:39:23.989
to put it on the blade But I put my cloak on

00:39:23.989 --> 00:39:29.289
too That's your bonus action You can use your

00:39:29.289 --> 00:39:32.250
action to coat it But you don't stay hidden until

00:39:32.250 --> 00:39:35.710
next turn And it stays for ten turns I'll put

00:39:35.710 --> 00:39:37.769
it on my blade and stay hidden until next turn

00:39:37.769 --> 00:39:40.030
Okay, so you're coating it with poison and waiting

00:39:40.030 --> 00:39:45.230
to attack The two Thayans, it's the Thayans'

00:39:45.289 --> 00:39:47.650
turn. So they were kind of looking at Duke flying

00:39:47.650 --> 00:39:49.510
on the ground, and then they were looking over

00:39:49.510 --> 00:39:51.489
at the woman in the cowering in the corner and

00:39:51.489 --> 00:39:54.409
then just saw her disappear. So they are going

00:39:54.409 --> 00:40:01.070
to shoot at Duke. I go for intimidation. Intimidation

00:40:01.070 --> 00:40:03.630
roll. Shoot the eyes right at him. So they're

00:40:03.630 --> 00:40:06.289
going to do, both are going to do a firebolt

00:40:06.289 --> 00:40:09.710
at you. Lucky you. Actually, no. No, no, no.

00:40:09.909 --> 00:40:12.530
One is going to do firebolt. The closer one will

00:40:12.530 --> 00:40:15.130
do something different. The closer one's going

00:40:15.130 --> 00:40:20.230
first. So it's going to do Shocking Grasp. That's

00:40:20.230 --> 00:40:25.269
a nat 20. Apologies. It'll buff. It'll buff.

00:40:26.469 --> 00:40:30.949
I need a damage. Jesus Christ. Alright, so. I

00:40:30.949 --> 00:40:32.309
got the damage down. Now I'm going to do it.

00:40:32.969 --> 00:40:36.130
That's 5 and it's double because it was nat 20.

00:40:36.349 --> 00:40:42.199
And a 1. So 6 plus 4. Shocking damage. I am hot

00:40:42.199 --> 00:40:48.059
as fuck. Alright, and now it's the other Thayan's

00:40:48.059 --> 00:40:52.159
turn, which is going to do Firebolt. Firebolt!

00:40:52.400 --> 00:40:58.219
Miss. That is a 6 plus 4. That's not going to

00:40:58.219 --> 00:41:00.900
hit you. That's a miss. That's a miss. Alright.

00:41:02.119 --> 00:41:05.699
Duke Crystal, your turn. You're getting up, there's

00:41:05.699 --> 00:41:07.719
a dude, big tritorn, just came running at you,

00:41:07.739 --> 00:41:10.099
tripped into a fire. Thayan just shocked you.

00:41:10.510 --> 00:41:12.929
Is he down there flailing like a bitch? He's

00:41:12.929 --> 00:41:14.809
up, but he's on fire flailing. He's flailing

00:41:14.809 --> 00:41:17.429
like a bitch standing up. Well, I think I'm going

00:41:17.429 --> 00:41:21.070
to move perfectly in between the Than and Chatoran.

00:41:21.809 --> 00:41:23.750
Like on the opposite side? No, right between

00:41:23.750 --> 00:41:25.489
them. Oh, right between both of them. Okay. And

00:41:25.489 --> 00:41:29.190
then I'm going to rage. Okay. Give me that attack

00:41:29.190 --> 00:41:31.690
thing. Or is that deck save? Is that what I do?

00:41:31.969 --> 00:41:35.969
How does that work? It's in your shell. Remember

00:41:35.969 --> 00:41:40.539
I used the wand but turned it into fire. Call

00:41:40.539 --> 00:41:44.599
and save a 13, 2d6 of damage for Thunder Client.

00:41:44.739 --> 00:41:48.480
That's what you're talking about. Okay, yeah

00:41:48.480 --> 00:41:52.400
it is. Okay, so call and save what? 13. Alright,

00:41:52.519 --> 00:42:00.800
that is a 9 plus... Nothing for that one. I'll

00:42:00.800 --> 00:42:13.630
do him. That is a 9 plus... Constitution? Yes.

00:42:13.809 --> 00:42:16.550
9 plus 3. So I think they both fail? What was

00:42:16.550 --> 00:42:19.650
the save? 13. They both fail. Yeah, they both

00:42:19.650 --> 00:42:23.469
fail. So 2d6 fire. Yes, as you go demon mode

00:42:23.469 --> 00:42:25.909
and erupt the flames. Not even an attack. Yeah,

00:42:25.909 --> 00:42:29.010
not even an attack. Just a rage bust. Alright,

00:42:29.090 --> 00:42:34.349
so that's 5 and 1, so 6 fire. Okie dokie. As

00:42:34.349 --> 00:42:37.070
he's on fire. Yes, as he's already on fire. The

00:42:37.070 --> 00:42:42.489
fuck? Stop burning! Alright. Your turn, still?

00:42:42.809 --> 00:42:45.329
Yes. And since they're both in swinging range,

00:42:45.449 --> 00:42:47.730
first attack is going to Tratoran, and that's

00:42:47.730 --> 00:42:50.190
going to be a claw attack. Or into his fucking

00:42:50.190 --> 00:42:53.250
throat. Give him the claws. Oh yeah, you don't

00:42:53.250 --> 00:43:01.510
got your weapon. No. Oof. I doubt that hits.

00:43:01.550 --> 00:43:05.489
Ten. Ten? Yes. No. Is that with your pluses?

00:43:05.929 --> 00:43:09.710
Well, I rolled a two. Plus eight, so. Yeah, that

00:43:09.710 --> 00:43:14.260
won't hit the, um... Tritoran. Okay. Are you

00:43:14.260 --> 00:43:15.659
taking the other one at the other guy, or are

00:43:15.659 --> 00:43:19.739
you hitting him again? Probably gonna hit the

00:43:19.739 --> 00:43:21.539
other guy, the little one. Okay. Because he's

00:43:21.539 --> 00:43:24.039
gonna try and use some spell shit on me. So we're

00:43:24.039 --> 00:43:26.440
gonna clap him with a claw attack. A two again.

00:43:26.719 --> 00:43:33.159
Okay. So a ten? No. Ten. That was good. At least

00:43:33.159 --> 00:43:35.380
I attacked, so I won't run out of rage. Yes,

00:43:35.380 --> 00:43:40.710
true. Hey, fire is useless. Cultist at three.

00:43:40.809 --> 00:43:42.409
It's two cultists' turn. They're going to attack

00:43:42.409 --> 00:43:48.170
you. Please take... No. Oh, they got Skimitar,

00:43:48.250 --> 00:43:49.550
so they're just going to swing it at you again.

00:43:49.789 --> 00:43:57.309
Eleven plus three. Miss. Nat one. The other cultist

00:43:57.309 --> 00:43:59.750
goes to swing at you and misses so hard and falls

00:43:59.750 --> 00:44:02.250
over and kind of lands on the dead body of their

00:44:02.250 --> 00:44:04.849
other friend there. And they're going to have

00:44:04.849 --> 00:44:07.110
disadvantage on their next attack roll after...

00:44:07.519 --> 00:44:09.519
Falling face first into their dead friend. See,

00:44:09.739 --> 00:44:12.440
that's fate. That's where you belong, you gutter.

00:44:13.219 --> 00:44:16.539
Alright, they both missed. It's your turn. Alright.

00:44:17.440 --> 00:44:21.360
I am going to bitch slap him with my dragon slayer

00:44:21.360 --> 00:44:24.360
sword. Bitch slap from the sword and the spiritual

00:44:24.360 --> 00:44:27.039
weapon. Yeah. Bitch slaps for everybody. Getting

00:44:27.039 --> 00:44:32.539
clapped. Not in a good way. Ooh, not good. That

00:44:32.539 --> 00:44:35.539
is a miss. I rolled a two. Oh no, backfire. What's

00:44:35.539 --> 00:44:39.460
your pluses? Um, I think the dragon slayer is

00:44:39.460 --> 00:44:47.300
uh plus three All right, but I slipped on a little

00:44:47.300 --> 00:44:49.320
dumpster juice I'm gonna make it happen with

00:44:49.320 --> 00:44:59.300
my spiritual weapon Okay Force them damage give

00:44:59.300 --> 00:45:02.539
them force damage by forcing it i'm forcing this

00:45:02.539 --> 00:45:08.280
damage on you And a 19 plus 8. Yeah. I think

00:45:08.280 --> 00:45:11.380
you're fucking... The most guaranteed to hit

00:45:11.380 --> 00:45:13.480
in this game is your fucking spiritual weapon.

00:45:13.480 --> 00:45:15.980
Yeah, it always comes through for me. It's like

00:45:15.980 --> 00:45:17.699
your wisdom based off of it, so it's just like

00:45:17.699 --> 00:45:21.960
maximum. So that's an 8. 3 plus 5. 3 plus 5 damage.

00:45:23.000 --> 00:45:25.099
I mean, I'm sure when the weapon itself is trying

00:45:25.099 --> 00:45:26.420
to kill you, it's probably pretty good at it.

00:45:27.400 --> 00:45:29.619
Like, if I suck at this, what am I good for?

00:45:29.800 --> 00:45:32.559
It's like a sword that can't kill on its own.

00:45:32.619 --> 00:45:36.670
Alright. So now that Miss Muffin has been forced

00:45:36.670 --> 00:45:38.489
to run from the doppelganger, it's going to slink

00:45:38.489 --> 00:45:41.889
up behind you, flea stick. You're getting the

00:45:41.889 --> 00:45:44.949
full run. You better not slink up behind me.

00:45:45.369 --> 00:45:47.869
Sounds a little suspicious. I'm going to roll

00:45:47.869 --> 00:45:50.730
to see if the unsettled visage recharges. It

00:45:50.730 --> 00:45:54.070
does not. As my god, Romsky dumps dumpster juice

00:45:54.070 --> 00:45:59.289
down my back as a deterrent. It's crack. My crack

00:45:59.289 --> 00:46:03.989
is leaking dumpster juice. Okay, it's going to

00:46:03.989 --> 00:46:06.090
make a multi -attack with the slam of his hands.

00:46:08.829 --> 00:46:19.769
Slam. 9 plus 6. Yeah. Wait. No. Okay. 13 plus

00:46:19.769 --> 00:46:24.449
6. That one won't hit. Yeah. Alright. 2d6. 4.

00:46:25.190 --> 00:46:30.809
And 4. So 8 plus 4. Deez nuts. Mmm. 12? Yeah.

00:46:31.210 --> 00:46:35.039
12 to your mouth. 12 damage to the back of your

00:46:35.039 --> 00:46:37.659
mouth. 12 healing? Healing? 12 damage to the

00:46:37.659 --> 00:46:43.760
back of your mouth. No! Not me tonsils! Not me

00:46:43.760 --> 00:46:46.380
gangula! Alright, Miss Muffins, your turn. Isn't

00:46:46.380 --> 00:46:49.280
that what it's called, a gangula? Yeah, punching

00:46:49.280 --> 00:46:54.960
bag. Your blade is coated in poison. It's dripping.

00:46:57.420 --> 00:47:01.639
The old gagger. The old gangula. It's dripping

00:47:01.639 --> 00:47:04.679
like the water coming from the ceiling of this

00:47:04.679 --> 00:47:11.440
cave. I'm gonna go back straight down and stab

00:47:11.440 --> 00:47:14.340
the doppelganger with my dagger. You're afraid

00:47:14.340 --> 00:47:17.659
of him. You can't move anywhere within 30 feet

00:47:17.659 --> 00:47:19.480
of that guy. What if she goes to stab and is

00:47:19.480 --> 00:47:22.019
like, ah! Fucking just throws it. At this point,

00:47:22.079 --> 00:47:27.199
she can throw something. Is Salish able to hold

00:47:27.199 --> 00:47:29.559
things? Yeah, she is. She can retrieve things

00:47:29.559 --> 00:47:31.920
from you. So she can also take things and stab

00:47:31.920 --> 00:47:34.380
things. Technically, if she ran to the absolute

00:47:34.380 --> 00:47:36.139
farthest part of the room away from him, could

00:47:36.139 --> 00:47:39.159
she not approach at all afterwards? Yeah. Because

00:47:39.159 --> 00:47:41.320
she can't approach him, so if she's back against

00:47:41.320 --> 00:47:43.400
the wall, could she not come toward him anymore?

00:47:43.400 --> 00:47:45.920
So you can't move within 30 feet of him, so the

00:47:45.920 --> 00:47:48.219
only person you could actually get to is the

00:47:48.219 --> 00:47:50.699
farthest Thane apprentice, which is exactly 30

00:47:50.699 --> 00:47:52.900
feet from him. But even if she moves her arm,

00:47:53.000 --> 00:47:55.800
she's approaching him, so therefore... She's

00:47:55.800 --> 00:47:58.639
stuck. Yeah, you can move towards one enemy,

00:47:58.760 --> 00:48:01.380
but that's about it. So I'm going to sneak up

00:48:01.380 --> 00:48:04.019
to the thing and then... Okay. Sneak up across

00:48:04.019 --> 00:48:08.000
this. And poison dagger. You're going to do the

00:48:08.000 --> 00:48:12.780
poison dagger on this thing? Okay. Go for it.

00:48:13.079 --> 00:48:15.099
Why? Why'd you say it like that? I was just making

00:48:15.099 --> 00:48:16.780
sure. Should I not? No, go ahead. I was just

00:48:16.780 --> 00:48:19.599
making sure. But you were using it. You said

00:48:19.599 --> 00:48:22.460
it with a question mark. But if I roll with advantage...

00:48:22.840 --> 00:48:25.000
Roll with normal because you technically have

00:48:25.000 --> 00:48:28.340
disadvantage from being frightened. But I'm invisible

00:48:28.340 --> 00:48:31.539
now. Which levels it out to standard. Okay, well

00:48:31.539 --> 00:48:36.699
then... 11. You're not special. 11? You're not

00:48:36.699 --> 00:48:41.239
hit. You're not hit and this thing sees you kind

00:48:41.239 --> 00:48:45.099
of appear and just like a blade try to miss and

00:48:45.099 --> 00:48:46.539
he's like, what the fuck? And you kind of come

00:48:46.539 --> 00:48:47.679
out of your invisibility and you're ready to

00:48:47.679 --> 00:48:51.239
fight. Okay, so I'm in my offhand dagger. I roll

00:48:51.239 --> 00:48:55.619
that. slash back. Yes, with disadvantage. Um,

00:48:55.639 --> 00:48:58.639
for real? Yes, you were frightened. Well, I rolled

00:48:58.639 --> 00:49:01.239
an 18 then I rolled a 20, so you tell me, bro.

00:49:01.539 --> 00:49:07.679
18. 18 plus 8 plus 8. Okay, you hit. Okay, so

00:49:07.679 --> 00:49:14.860
it was 1d4 plus 5. And I rolled 3 plus 5. 8 damage.

00:49:15.219 --> 00:49:19.559
Alright. Yeah, so the first one comes by and

00:49:19.559 --> 00:49:20.820
it misses and she's like, what the fuck? And

00:49:20.820 --> 00:49:22.139
then you just stick her with another one and

00:49:22.759 --> 00:49:25.679
Do some pretty good damage. Pretty good damage.

00:49:25.840 --> 00:49:29.480
Eight damage. Eight damage. All right. Tratoran's

00:49:29.480 --> 00:49:34.179
turn. Duke's alternate. He's still kind of burning.

00:49:34.280 --> 00:49:36.340
He's got some charred pieces of his skin. He

00:49:36.340 --> 00:49:39.019
goes, why didn't you just let me take the demon?

00:49:39.360 --> 00:49:41.519
Like, why didn't you just let me take it? Smart,

00:49:41.679 --> 00:49:44.719
bitch. Shitty. Shitty. And he raises his spear,

00:49:44.820 --> 00:49:49.679
and he's going to do a multi -attack. So the

00:49:49.679 --> 00:49:53.550
gladiator makes. Ain't my fault. He ain't special.

00:49:54.230 --> 00:49:57.130
He's going to make two spears. No, no, no, no.

00:49:57.150 --> 00:49:58.730
I'm going to change it. He's going to do a spear

00:49:58.730 --> 00:50:01.349
and a shield bash. He's allowed to do that. He

00:50:01.349 --> 00:50:03.570
can do it. God damn it, dude. Why am I rolling

00:50:03.570 --> 00:50:09.090
only nines? Nine plus seven. Nine plus seven?

00:50:09.250 --> 00:50:15.250
Miss. Damn. I have a 17 AC. That's unarmored,

00:50:15.250 --> 00:50:17.769
too, so very butt -ass naked. I got that. Okay,

00:50:17.789 --> 00:50:21.630
so... Dick swinging. Second attack with, or no,

00:50:21.650 --> 00:50:26.590
it's a shield dash. Roll me strength saving throw.

00:50:27.929 --> 00:50:32.889
Fuck! You got a plus seven on that. That was

00:50:32.889 --> 00:50:38.130
a 14 plus seven. 21. Yeah. I pooed him on his

00:50:38.130 --> 00:50:42.610
ass. Woo! Yeah, he tries. He goes to hit you

00:50:42.610 --> 00:50:45.889
and he's like, I miscalculated. They always said

00:50:45.889 --> 00:50:47.889
my brain wasn't good, but my muscles were great.

00:50:48.510 --> 00:50:50.530
My muscles didn't save me this time. No, you

00:50:50.530 --> 00:50:55.489
underestimated. Alright, that's his turn. Back

00:50:55.489 --> 00:50:58.570
to the Thane Apprentice. It's behind you. It's

00:50:58.570 --> 00:51:00.730
going to do Shock and Grasp. What a fucking time.

00:51:02.010 --> 00:51:04.250
That's all it's got. Wait, actually, it might

00:51:04.250 --> 00:51:11.269
have something else. How hot's my skin? It touches

00:51:11.269 --> 00:51:15.829
me. Actually, no. It's going to cast on itself

00:51:15.829 --> 00:51:23.019
Blur. Yes. Blur. I'll tell you exactly what it

00:51:23.019 --> 00:51:24.900
does here in just one second. Makes him blurry.

00:51:25.599 --> 00:51:28.179
Yes, it makes him blurry to the eye. So the blind,

00:51:28.239 --> 00:51:30.340
they're really screwed. You got a shadow step.

00:51:31.340 --> 00:51:33.880
Okay, so as she does, he, whatever this one is,

00:51:33.920 --> 00:51:35.679
I don't remember. He, we'll do this as a he,

00:51:35.860 --> 00:51:39.099
smacks his body, and you see the body literally

00:51:39.099 --> 00:51:43.659
start like, like vibrating like a vibrator. And

00:51:43.659 --> 00:51:45.900
it's like blurred and shifting and wavering,

00:51:45.900 --> 00:51:50.860
so... You'll have disadvantage attack rolls against

00:51:50.860 --> 00:51:54.960
this creature. So yeah. He's armed up with Mage

00:51:54.960 --> 00:51:58.840
Armor and has Blur on him. Fan Apprentice 2,

00:51:59.039 --> 00:52:01.360
the female Miss Muffin was attacking, is going

00:52:01.360 --> 00:52:07.019
to turn and use Burning Hands! No! Yes! Yes!

00:52:08.920 --> 00:52:12.920
Uncanny Dodge! I think you have to make a save

00:52:12.920 --> 00:52:19.940
for this one. Yes, make me a dexterity saving

00:52:19.940 --> 00:52:22.619
throw as this flame start to erupt out of this

00:52:22.619 --> 00:52:34.579
woman's hands Six dexterity save yeah My dexterity

00:52:34.579 --> 00:52:39.199
is plus four and I rolled weak. All right, you're

00:52:39.199 --> 00:52:42.030
gonna get hit with uncanny dodge though When

00:52:42.030 --> 00:52:44.230
an attacker hits me with an attack, I can use

00:52:44.230 --> 00:52:47.090
Uncanny Dodge as a reaction to halve the attack's

00:52:47.090 --> 00:53:13.929
damage. Have it to work. I'll do it, probably.

00:53:14.210 --> 00:53:22.389
Yeah, it's 11, so... Six. How awful. How awful?

00:53:23.630 --> 00:53:29.690
You've singed my hair. My pubic hair is smoking.

00:53:29.710 --> 00:53:34.570
It is your turn. Okay. To exact revenge in demon

00:53:34.570 --> 00:53:37.570
form. The Saiyan is still alive behind you, and

00:53:37.570 --> 00:53:40.650
Tratoran is obviously still there. Try to hit

00:53:40.650 --> 00:53:42.800
you with the shield. Hit you in the big demon

00:53:42.800 --> 00:53:47.000
abs. I'm gonna boot kick for a venture tour.

00:53:47.320 --> 00:53:52.199
Boot kicking. Alright. Give me a... What are

00:53:52.199 --> 00:53:54.300
we doing? Like shove? Are you just giving like

00:53:54.300 --> 00:53:56.880
straight up unarmed attack? Boot kick? How are

00:53:56.880 --> 00:53:58.579
we doing this? Are you trying to like push him

00:53:58.579 --> 00:54:01.900
back into the fire? Or like... I just want to

00:54:01.900 --> 00:54:04.159
put him on his ass. Okay. I mean, yeah. He's

00:54:04.159 --> 00:54:06.300
literally in between. It's like fire pit, him,

00:54:06.500 --> 00:54:08.980
you. thing and so like yeah kick him in the fire

00:54:08.980 --> 00:54:10.300
yeah if you're kicking it backwards he's going

00:54:10.300 --> 00:54:11.659
in the fire if you're going for a shove we'll

00:54:11.659 --> 00:54:16.760
go for it all right so contested strength strength

00:54:16.760 --> 00:54:19.300
leave well luckily he's got good strength but

00:54:19.300 --> 00:54:22.719
you've got also a good strength 21 or no 19 sorry

00:54:22.719 --> 00:54:29.099
19 i'm straight yeah he got 17. yeah so you give

00:54:29.099 --> 00:54:31.800
him a good shove he's like oh you pizza oh god

00:54:31.800 --> 00:54:34.039
the fire again he starts getting burned with

00:54:34.039 --> 00:54:37.329
fire again see he's gonna die from everything

00:54:37.329 --> 00:54:39.750
else other than attack. Like, you know what I

00:54:39.750 --> 00:54:42.070
mean? Mm -hmm. He got hit by being blasted into

00:54:42.070 --> 00:54:44.789
the wall. He fell into the fire. Then you got

00:54:44.789 --> 00:54:47.090
hit with your area attack of fire, and now he

00:54:47.090 --> 00:54:49.309
got kicked into the fire. He's going to take

00:54:49.309 --> 00:54:53.829
two more fire damage. And for my next attack,

00:54:54.010 --> 00:54:59.110
I will grapple the blur fork. Grapple him? Yes.

00:55:00.210 --> 00:55:03.989
Yes. Okay. That's not an attack. Yeah, that's

00:55:03.989 --> 00:55:05.550
not an attack. Yeah, it's not. You're right.

00:55:06.670 --> 00:55:10.030
Okay, give me the, what is it, strength and dexterity?

00:55:10.369 --> 00:55:14.909
Yeah, I think so. Okay, so... I'll make a dex

00:55:14.909 --> 00:55:20.969
save. You might make it. Thirteen. You made it,

00:55:20.969 --> 00:55:23.690
I got an eleven. Yeah, he said, no you don't!

00:55:23.690 --> 00:55:25.630
He kind of wiggles out between your arms and

00:55:25.630 --> 00:55:30.309
slips out. Anything else? Is that it, I think?

00:55:30.469 --> 00:55:37.869
Is that your turn? Okay. The cultist on flea

00:55:37.869 --> 00:55:39.889
stick. Hoping I can get a hold of that. They're

00:55:39.889 --> 00:55:43.210
gonna take their scimitar attacks again. 17 plus...

00:55:43.210 --> 00:55:47.110
Yep. Okay. You don't get a pulse. All right.

00:55:48.489 --> 00:55:51.889
Six. So that's one damage, or one plus one damage.

00:55:53.630 --> 00:55:56.690
It's weird that these guys aren't dead yet. They're

00:55:56.690 --> 00:55:58.329
about to be. Yeah, I know. They have, like, such

00:55:58.329 --> 00:56:00.809
little health now. So is it, too. That's the

00:56:00.809 --> 00:56:02.989
other one. He's gonna take his attack, too. Yes,

00:56:02.989 --> 00:56:05.429
it was, too. He missed. So the first one hits

00:56:05.429 --> 00:56:08.929
for two damage, and the second one misses. I

00:56:08.929 --> 00:56:12.250
need a band -aid. They're struggling. They're

00:56:12.250 --> 00:56:15.269
about to be on that bus. It's your turn. All

00:56:15.269 --> 00:56:17.449
right. Doppelganger behind you and two cultists

00:56:17.449 --> 00:56:22.369
in front of you. I'm going to take my dragon

00:56:22.369 --> 00:56:24.730
sword. You also got spells. I don't know what

00:56:24.730 --> 00:56:27.070
you got. Yeah, that is true. Maybe I should switch

00:56:27.070 --> 00:56:28.510
it up a little bit. You might have only ranged

00:56:28.510 --> 00:56:34.610
ones. I could Sacred Flame their ass, but you

00:56:34.610 --> 00:56:41.889
know. Yeah, you're close, so. I almost forgot.

00:56:42.150 --> 00:56:44.650
I may be unarmed, but... Yeah, I'm going to Sacred

00:56:44.650 --> 00:56:49.570
Flame the person, and then I'm going to... Damn,

00:56:49.570 --> 00:56:51.690
I had a good idea. I lost it with my Spiritual

00:56:51.690 --> 00:56:56.090
Weapon. So, are you going to hit... Are you going

00:56:56.090 --> 00:56:59.610
to do Sacred Flame on Cultist 1 or Cultist 3?

00:57:00.079 --> 00:57:01.880
Let me take a look. Cultist 3 is the one that

00:57:01.880 --> 00:57:03.559
you... Cultist 3, I'll do Spirit Flame. He's

00:57:03.559 --> 00:57:05.320
a little further back. Spirit Flame, okay. So,

00:57:05.340 --> 00:57:11.440
deck save? Yeah. 17. Yep. You got it. Okay. Alright,

00:57:11.760 --> 00:57:22.519
so, Spiritual Weapon? Yep. Jesus Christ. 11 plus

00:57:22.519 --> 00:57:30.159
8. 19. Yeah. So, that Hawk Hand just... Using

00:57:30.159 --> 00:57:36.059
the wind -up slap. Yeah. All right, damage. Yeah,

00:57:36.139 --> 00:57:40.480
I forgot. All right, so four. All right. Plus

00:57:40.480 --> 00:57:44.059
five. He's dead. You wind up, Hulk hand just

00:57:44.059 --> 00:57:46.460
straight up the middle. And you're done, son.

00:57:46.719 --> 00:57:52.940
And you're done, son. All right. He's dead. It's

00:57:52.940 --> 00:57:57.340
the doppelganger's turn. He is going to risk

00:57:57.340 --> 00:57:59.360
the opportunity attack running away from you.

00:57:59.400 --> 00:58:09.599
So give me an attack with your your sword I'm

00:58:09.599 --> 00:58:17.199
gonna whip that big old sword out and Yeah, can

00:58:17.199 --> 00:58:20.340
I do dual wielding You can two -hand it. I'm

00:58:20.340 --> 00:58:21.980
going to two -hand this one. I'm going to fucking

00:58:21.980 --> 00:58:23.699
baseball snack this one. I think that's what

00:58:23.699 --> 00:58:26.260
you were doing with it before. Yeah. It's just

00:58:26.260 --> 00:58:31.000
a little higher damage roll. Yeah. Okay. Man,

00:58:31.039 --> 00:58:35.260
that's bullshit. Nine. No. That will not hit.

00:58:35.360 --> 00:58:38.260
But it's just opportunity back. So he says, fuck

00:58:38.260 --> 00:58:40.980
this. I'm getting more. He takes off sprinting

00:58:40.980 --> 00:58:43.739
backwards, and you see him kind of doing this

00:58:43.739 --> 00:58:47.039
kneeling chant prayer at these two gargoyles.

00:58:47.559 --> 00:58:49.260
As they start to, like, crack, and you're hearing

00:58:49.260 --> 00:58:51.059
the echoes scream out of these things, and they

00:58:51.059 --> 00:58:58.300
start to come to life. Oh, no. Thanks for listening.

00:58:58.480 --> 00:59:00.780
This episode of Dummies with Dice features Kelly

00:59:00.780 --> 00:59:03.619
Lee as Miss Muffin, Nate Chambers as Duke Crystal,

00:59:03.840 --> 00:59:06.579
Ryan Tucker as Flea Stick Sock Jelly, and Tristan

00:59:06.579 --> 00:59:09.510
Hayes as the DM. The episode is edited and mixed

00:59:09.510 --> 00:59:11.469
by Tristan Hayes. The artwork for Dummies with

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Dice created by Al Sorensen can be found on Instagram

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under A -R -C -S -I -0. The theme song is the

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intense fiddle by Ben Caldera. And when it comes

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to Dummies with Dice, you can find our websites

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on... rss .com slash podcast slash dummies with

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