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about said Dungeons and Dragons. Welcome to
Dummies and Dice, a Dungeons and Dragons actual
play podcast that follows three not -so -average
dummies of our world that get caught up in a
magical storm and are transported to the world
of Dungeons and Dragons. Today's question of
the day. What'd you guys pick? 86? Is that what
you said out of it? I said 86. Yeah, we went
with 86. Okay, so, as your characters, if you
could have one superpower, what would it be?
Superpower? You going first? Hey, I'm Kelly Lee,
and I play Miss Muffin. She's a crazy cat lady
rogue, and Miss Muffin very much enjoys being
invisible, so invisibility. That's a given. Hey,
Nate here. My character's Duke Crystal. He's
the level seven drug -addicted barbarian of the
group, and I would say probably teleportation.
Oh, yeah. Oh. fancy i thought what i expected
would be like super strange like where people
already got that oh yeah sure hey hey hey maybe
ryan talker here i play this for the stick sock
jelly i am the hobo trash master cleric of the
god rumpkin i'm the macgyver of all all things
trash and garbage including your girlfriend oh
no okay what's your answer for the relationship
rb uh She don't lie. It's super smell. Yeah,
that's it. That's super smell. Yeah. Smell the
stink. Good. He already can. You can smell the
spectrum of smells. He's like, I can see them.
I can tell. It's like a rainbow of odors. It's
like when Patrick gets his nose, he can smell
everything and he smells it all. He said, I want
to be able to smell someone's nose. Patrick's
nose. We... Where we left off last time, you
guys went through this fucked up dungeon that
you were told by a guy in a carnival that came
to your place, taught you guys magic. Your guard's
magic. So yeah, you go through this dungeon of
deception. You cleared it. You talked to old
man Withers. You talked to some dwarves with
some hand signals and losing their language.
And you left and realized that some of the items
that were taken got pulled back to the dungeon.
I think your plan was to start moving towards
your original place. I don't know what you want
to do here, but yeah, you've gathered your things.
You're outside of the dungeon. What got pulled
back to the dungeon? I believe it was your red
gem you attached to your skull thing. Your horn
of Valhalla. If there's anything else, I don't
remember. I think that was it. Why would they
do such a thing? They're robbers. Oh, and your
demon thingy. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. You lost
it all. I haven't started the map yet. So, would
you guys like to start what? What would you like
to do? I guess head back to our main camp. Garth
Brooks, whatever that was. Boots, scoot, and
boogie. Okay. So, I remember we traveled a bit
to get here. You had general directions of where
it was. So, give me a survival. Or... All of
us? Yeah. I got a plus two for survival. Yeah,
give me a survival all of you. All right. 19.
Okay, yeah, that'll do it. 18! You start heading
in the direction back towards your iron spine
keep. So on your way, are you guys taking a rest
or anything on the way, or are you like... I'm
rolling dice. I'm going to rest at camp. If we
get an encounter, then I'll deal with it. Okay,
so yeah, you're on your way back to camp. And
you're noticing something a little strange, especially
with a good roll like a 19. So where you came
back through, you're about halfway back to Ironspine.
You notice a weird cave opening. Just kind of
like in the area. It's like in a little hillside.
What would you like to do as you see this? Are
you going to keep walking past it? Are you going
to check it out? I'll take a look -see -loo inside.
Okay, so as you get closer to this cave, you
see almost in like that Lord of the Rings style,
like lettering. Magically appears across the
arch of the cave and you see the words form pleasure
pile Inside the cave, so what would you like
to do? Sounds like a place you need to rest before
you go into If you would like to rest you can
I mean you don't know if it's gonna disappear
if it's gonna be there, but it'll Go nowhere,
so I'll take a little short man. I'm sure gonna
take a long rest or a short rest Yeah, you guys
can set up camp outside the, you know, it doesn't
look like a relatively dangerous area. You're
not getting like, you're not hearing like loud
cries. Just like usual. Yeah, it's just an unusual
cave opening. It's a pleasure pile. So yeah,
take your long rest. Do your things. Take yourself
back to your full health. Yeah, my spells and
my rage. You hear that yipper? That's Eller.
Okay, so yeah, as you guys are kind of doing
this long rest, I'm assuming you throw up at
camp, you take a little sleep, the night progresses,
and you feel calm, you sleep good, and you're
awake. So what would you guys like to do as you
rise fully rested? I guess we're going in the
old cave. What's it called? The pleasure pile!
The pleasure pile! Yes. Okay, so. Ms. Bum, it's
going to enter invisible because weird. You're
going to go invisible. She's one of the hardest.
Okay, so yeah, you throw your cape on. You'll
have advantage on your stealth or double whatever
you got. So yeah, you guys enter this cave, and
as you're stepping through this threshold of
this cave, you feel this magical energy just
kind of form and transfer, and I'm going to start
the map now. And as you step through this cave,
the walls shift. Everything shifts in this teleportating
magical form and makes the cobblestone walls
kind of form around you guys. And you are standing
inside of a club. You're seeing some, like, lights
of magic kind of beaming across the room. You're
hearing, like, music beating. You're hearing,
yeah, exactly that. You hear a guy, like, over
an undercommon. He goes, and we're going to play
the same song here again. Just wait a second.
And the music starts playing again. Yeah, so
what would you guys like to do as you step into
this room? Dance. You're seeing, like, loads
of people just, like. No one can see me. Piled
into this dance floor full of lights. But as
you kind of look around. Let me put you guys
on. There's so many lubricants. You smell lubricants
everywhere. KY and Luke. So where you guys entered,
you were kind of in the north end of this club
here. So to your west, to your right side of
the screen, to your west, I think. Which means?
East, to the east side of your screen. You see
a long hallway that's filled with rooms, like
doorways all down through that hallway. To the
south side is towards the dance floor full of
people. What would you guys like to do? I think
those rooms are full of gross, naked people.
Luxurious pleasure piles. I don't want to see.
Are you walking through the hallway to check
the rooms, or are you going to? I'm following
my buds, but no one knows it because I'm invisible.
What are you guys doing? Oh, yeah, you're invisible.
Nobody knows you're there. Is there a bar? Yeah,
as you step towards the dance floor, you do see
a bar on the east end of the bar. Go to the bar?
Yes. All right. Please stick my muffin. What
are you guys doing? Are you following to the
bar or are you going elsewhere? What's in elsewhere?
What's that considered? The hallway that was
next to you when you entered. What's in that
hallway? You see one, two, three, four, five
rooms. What's in those rooms? Closed rooms. You
want to take a closer look at the doors and stuff?
I want to see where the britches are. Okay, so...
I'm going to follow behind. As you walk closer,
you see this door. It has a... padlock on it
with the symbol of a frog on the first door.
Um, would you like to investigate any different
doors? Yeah, that bitch is weird. So you go to
the next door and you see a padlock that has
the picture of a gnome on it. That bitch is even
weirder. Okay, you gotta keep moving through
the doors. Okay, you go towards the third door
of the hallway if you can help yourself to keep
looking. I'm assuming you do. I want to see all
my options. You walk towards the third door and
you see blood. A lock on the door as well with
blood on it. Like a blood, symbol of blood, like
blood drop. Nah, she's on her period. Let's move
on. Okay, you go to the fourth door. And you
see a furry -like creature on it. I skipped.
Are you just dipping out of the hallway then?
Wait, that's the last door? Yes. I might as well
crack into that bitch. Well, it's locked. There's
a lock on it. Well, I'm going to jimmy that motherfucker.
Well, I think you have to have... I'm going to
jimmy it with my jimmy. A thieves tool? I have
thieves tools. Are you guys going to try to break
into one of the rooms already? I'm at the bar.
Yeah. You got to help me? You got to help me?
Do I have to... Can I stay invisible and still
unlock the door? Yeah, you're just creeping on
me to see how weird I am. I mean, I'm not going
to take my cloak off. Okay, so yeah, you guys
are coming up with your plan. What are you doing
at the bar? What would you like to do? I'm looking
to see what drinking options are good. He's roofing
people. I don't like that. Okay, you walk up
and you see... I'm roofing myself. You see sex
innuendo names for drinks. What do we got? What's
a sex drink? You see a sex on the beach. Sex
on the beach. A blowjob. A blowjob? Is that one?
A real one? Yeah, a blowjob is a road job. Okay,
a blowjob. Give me one. One more. What else do
we got? We got the peach split. Peach split?
Yep. Okay, that works. Okay, so we got a sex
on the beach. You're seeing a blowjob and a peach
split. It looks like they're just all having
a peach split. Okay, so you kind of waved at
a bartender. Give me a persuasion check to get
this bartender's attention. You're game weak,
son. Oof, a four. Four? Okay, she looks at you
and kind of like skips past and goes to this
next person and she puts a finger up. She's like,
one second. Finishes this person and then comes
back to you. Oh, she finished him. What would
you like to do? You get the peach split? The
peach split? Yeah. Okay, she says, alrighty,
I'll get you a peach split. She turns around
and starts making this drink and she turns around
and she goes, so are you here for just drinks
and dance or are you here for one of the special
rooms to win the prize? There's a reward money
if you can, you know, make the pile feel pleasurable
in this place. What the fuck? I will warn you
that some of our guests that are here now for
the pleasure pile experience are taking some
Odd requests. They need... Each one has their
own, how do you say, pleasure. So you just have
to kind of figure out what it is that they're
going for. So you're saying you need a dominatrix
slash pleasure for hire? Yeah, but the thing
is, the reason there's a reward is because if
you don't do good and do what they want appropriately
the way they need without... Them having to give
up what they want. You need to kind of figure
them out. They want this to feel real. So they
don't want it, but they want it. Yeah, yeah,
yeah, exactly. Well, you're not here, but yeah.
Yes, I heard a guy back there by the hallway
saying something about... He's clearing it up.
So yeah, if you want to enter in that, you can,
and you might win a prize if you get the proper
pleasure. I might need a few drinks beforehand.
Oh, that's what they all say. And next thing
you know, pleasure pile. It's not just a proper
name. Oh, shit. So, yeah, what would you like
to do? First, I'm going to drink a couple of
them. Okay, that'll be one gold piece. All right.
I give her one extra as a tip. One extra? Okay.
Yeah, you see the romance, like, bar pop up at
the top. It's like, a little bit fills up. She's
like, thanks, and, like, takes the tip and starts
making you a drink. And she says, I'm assuming
you're going to want two, right? Yeah, yeah,
of course. You say you're going to expect more.
Okay, so I got you on the next one when you're
done with that one. Oh, okay. So she kind of
walks off and, yeah, you start drinking your
drink. Anything else you'd like to do while you
drink your drinks? Are you just going to generally
chill, wait for your drinks, or are you going
to do anything special? I'll just read the vibe.
Okay, yeah. Give me a perception check. Kind
of look at it across the room. Okay. Dang, not
proficient. Not proficient. 11. 11? Okay. That's
a little over me. Okay, so you're looking out
across this dance floor, and you see people kind
of like, you know, just kind of jumping around.
You're seeing people get close. There's all kinds
of people just out there moving. But with an
11, based off of what I rolled. Uh, you did not
see the guy coming up behind you who walks up
and he goes, what are you here for, big boy?
Like, walks up next to you. What would you do?
Just some random guy. Fuck. Ugh. Just here for
a few drinks. Here for a few drinks. That's what
they all say. And, like, you hear across the
dance floor go, that's what they all say! So,
yeah, what would you like to do? This guy's just
kind of chilling. He's hanging out. You got to
tell him to fuck off or you got to engage? He's
like, he's literally standing there like, just
like bouncing. Fuck. Well, I'm going to keep
drinking my drink for the moment. Yeah, he's
just going to ignore him. He's going to go, okay.
And then he's going to walk away and just start
moving off. No matter. All right. My bar probably
went down a little. Flea Stick and Miss Muffin,
what are you guys doing? I'm invisible watching
everything go down. Why are we here? You said
you were going to try to break into one of the
rooms. We didn't do that. No, you did not do
that yet. I went to him. So are you guys going
to continue to break into a room? Are we breaking
in? Well, after hearing all that, do we want
to? I don't think so. No. I don't know. You can.
Here's my tools. I'm not proficient. I think
I'm just going to go back to the next floor.
You are invisible. I'll unlock it for you. I'll
unlock it for you. Wait, what room is this? Which
room do you want? Which room do you want to be
at? We're standing at the fuzzy one. The fuzzy
animal one. It's like a hallway full of rooms,
so you can pick whichever room you want. Is there
any goodies in any of these rooms? I can't tell
you that. From the conversation you overheard
with Duke and the bartender, you have to... You
can enter to... Compete by going in those rooms.
By going in those rooms, you win a reward. What
kind of reward are we talking? I don't know.
You got to go ask. No, you didn't ask. Maybe
I'll break in and ask what kind of reward I want.
You're going to break in and ask the person who
wants pleasure what kind of reward you need.
Yeah. You want it, sure. I need to know the benefits
of this. He's breaking in. All right. She's breaking
in. Which door do you want me to unlock? The
fuzzy one? The bugbear? That's the one we were
at. The fuzzy's right? Sure, you can get one
more. I'll let you choose. I don't know if I
want the fuzzy. Alright, that's nothing. I was
going to say, what do I do to use these? Give
me dexterity, sleight of hand, check. I love
it. Sleight of hand is plus ten. Ooh, she's sliding
it. 12 plus 10, 22. Plus 10, 22. Don't lock the
padlock. He goes, ding, and breaks off. You hear
like a, ooh. As the padlock unclicks. And I'm
like. And I step back out of the way. Maybe not.
You don't open the door? Wait, I want to be like,
hey, what's your reward real quick? And then
I'm like. That's what you're going to do is open
the door and ask that? Yeah. Okay. Hey, what's
the benefits to this? Give me a dexterity save.
Okay. You're getting yanked in for sure. Eight.
Eight? He's done. He's good. I got a 12 plus
stuff. So as you peek your head in and you're
like, what's the reward for that? You just feel
this big old furry hand grab you and just pull
you right into this door. And the door shuts
and you see this bugbear, which is a... A bugbear?
What the fuck's going on here? I thought we were
talking about real fucking furry shit. We didn't
say nothing about no goddamn cockroaches with
a hairy cock. Like, what is going on here? It's
not a cockroach with a hairy cock. It literally
looks like... It looks like a tall, bear, humanoid
creature. A cockroach with a... He said a bugbear.
That's what they're called. They live in trees
mostly. What a weird creature. It's like Beauty
and the Beast. Yes, yes. Beauty and the Beast
type deal. They look like Ewoks, but bigger.
But this one is a big one. It reaches in and
pulls you in and shuts the door. Miss Muppet,
you just see this furry arm grab the flea stick,
yank him through this door, and the door just
slams shut. You're competing. So, this bugbear,
you see this, like, hulking big bugbear. He picks
you up while he's holding you, and he's like,
you want to ask me my name? Not really. Good,
that's what I like to hear. And he, like, sits
you back down, like, very gently. He goes, they
call me Burly the bugbear. I can only imagine.
Yeah. I feel like your ass is about to get stretched.
You have Neosporin? Neosporin. You see this bugbear
turn around and start checking the corner. It's
like this big old bag looking through it. No,
I don't have Neosporin. Can I just club him unconscious?
Are you going to try to? You can try. What's
his... He might be into it. Maybe he will. Like,
let me close his ass. Are you going to try to
hit him? I'm just going to try to knock him unconscious.
Are you just going to, well, you'd have to get
his HP to zero. What kind of check is this? You'd
have to get his HP to zero and knock him unconscious.
What the hell? Because technically you're not
dead and unconscious. You're just unconscious.
So I figured, like, maybe half HP with a good
story, like days. Choke him out. He might be
into that. But you never know, it might work.
Well, you can try what you want to try. If you're
going to try to hit him. Choke out. Are you going
to try to grab him? That is a 19 plus whatever.
Are you grappling? What are we doing? What are
you doing? I don't know. Maybe I'm grappling
him with my thighs. Okay, so you're just going
to grab him and try to like, you're going to
try to choke him out with the grapple? Yeah.
Okay, I'm going to give you. Nothing. You reach
in and you go to grapple him. No, I'm saying
I'm not going to have to pose it. You reach in
and you go to grapple him. Are you trying to
go for a fucking two -handed around the road?
I'm just trying to get in some truthful honesty
here real quick. Oh, okay. So you're not going
to take him unconscious now? And did you change
your heart halfway through? I just want some
goddamn answers. So what are you asking? You
said you're instantly going to clap him unconscious.
Like, what the fuck do you want, motherfucker?
Oh my God. Is that what you asked? Are you grappling
him and then asking that? Yeah. Okay. He says,
you don't know what I want. Did you? What kind
of fucking rhetorical question is that? God,
I love the way you speak to me. You see this
thing like toss you back, turn around and just
punch the wall. And you, you speak truth. You
speak, I'm burly. People be mean to me. But they're
scared of me. You speak loud, little man. Roll
me a persuasion check. You're going to get fucked.
Roll me a persuasion check. Is it a man or a
woman? It's a woman called Burley. She's just
like gigantic. Nobody told me I was a woman.
I would have eased into this. See? I was saying
she. I think your very first introduction you
said he. Yeah. I'm almost positive. Well, I'd
pay him. He's over here like, it's working, though.
She said everybody's scared of her. She wants
someone to be like, bitch, shut down right now.
Do the fuck I say. She'd be like, yes, daddy.
He's getting a head start on the competition.
He's gonna get a reward for fucking old bugbear.
Okay. He's doing good so far. He's been trying
to piss her off and it's not working. If only
he entered into the process. It did me by going
in the room. What'd you get? Nothing yet. What'd
you roll? A two. A two? Don't tell me nothing.
Okay. What happened? One for me. And I rolled
a two again, so that's straight fate. I rolled
two twice, so that's fate. Fuck you is what he
said or something. Oh yeah, you bitch. Okay,
you rolled a two. She turns around because she
got a nat 20. She turns around. No. She goes,
you bitch. The way you said that sounded not
good. It sounded like you were calling me a bitch
in a bad way. It was kinky. It was kinky. Okay,
roll that. What is that? Persuasion? Yeah. It
was kinky. Good comeback. I got a seven. She
got a 19. Oh, fuck her. She goes, I don't think
it was kinky. And she ends up getting, like,
really sad. Like, starting to cry. Yeah, we'll
just forget that one. It's hard to recover. It's
hard to recover? Okay, I'll roll again. Yeah,
you're not recovering. So, yeah. I rolled a nat
one. She kind of, like, turns around and starts
crying. Nat one? Oh. Oh, nah. Okay. Well, I was
gonna say she turns around and starts crying.
She turns around, she starts crying in the corner,
and that bag she was looking in, she just turns
around and fucking chucks that thing at you.
What is it? Shit? Give me a deck save. Give me
a deck save. That shit. It's a purse full of
things. What kind of shit? What kind of deck
save? Deck save. Okay. Deck save. Give me this
one, bitch. Six. Oh. She got a four. No, she
got more damage. So, yeah, she lobs this thing
at you and hits you right in the fucking forehead
with a purse full of big -ass bugbear shit. And
she's like, get out! Get out! Get the fuck out
of here! You take four damage. No, because I
love trash. She threw trash at me. That was her
possessions. Yeah, her possessions are her trash.
Oh, her possessions are trash? Oh, boy. Persuasion.
I don't think persuasion. She's very angry. What
would you like to do? Move the room or continue
your quest? Girl, I love you. I think we're done
with the persuasion. I got a poor kid, so I think
I love her. Oh, you think you love her. Okay.
He's just getting deeper. Alright, would you
like to give up or try to please this thing?
No, I'm trying to pleasure this thing. You failed.
Just very anti -somatic. You have failed. If
I try to do the competition, it's really difficult.
Can't you cast your thing that can be cast into
any object? Okay, so you know what? You stay
right where you are. Miss Muffin and dude. What
thing can I cast into any object? What? I don't
know. She said it. What thing can he cast in
any object? He always chooses a love drug spell.
A fan or something. Can I just turn my spiritual
weapon into a fur deal? I'm not going to say
that. Never mind. We'll just go on. Okay, so
Miss Muffin or Dude Crystal, what would you guys
like to do? Duke, you've probably about finished
your second drink in the time that he's tried
to. I guess I'll throw a barf in there. I'm ready
to compete. Ready to compete? She goes, oh, boy.
She goes, would you, let's roll a dice here.
Oh, my fucking God. She said, you get a room
number four. You get. I'm sorry. That was good.
That was good. She gets you get early the bugbear
This ticket with the symbol of a furry creature
on it Yeah, so She says so you look like you're
very unease she goes Would you like me to roll
the dice one more time we get a free one freebie
if you want to go again? It's gonna cost you
money. So no Uh, it'll be 10 gold. Yeah. Okay,
gold for reroll? Yeah, why not? Okay, reroll
for gold. How dare you. She needs to sit her
down. I wouldn't know that technically, but...
She said, oh, I'm so sorry. You got a room number
four again. Oh, wow. Did you really? She goes,
would you like to pay again to re -roll? No,
this feels a bit like a racket, so I think I'll
just go now. This shit's rigged. I don't believe
that anymore. I do not have weights on them.
So, yeah, you take your ticket and head towards
Burley, the bugbear's room. Smurf, would you
like to do anything? I'll leave you some wax
at the door. Miss Muffin's standing invisible
and watching everything go down. She's just still
sitting outside probably in the bugbear's room
like... Oh, before I go... She's in complete
shock standing at the door. Before I go, I'm
going to ask, is there any men that need pleasure
in the competition? Men, she says. Yes, actually,
one. Bullywong. Bullywong? That sounds very...
Miss Muffin, she might want to compete. Oh, you
have a friend here? Yeah. What's her name? Miss
Muffin. Miss Muffin, okay. I'll put a note down.
I point across the... You can't see me. You don't
know where I'm at. She's invisible. Well, I tell
her... I say where I think she is, because I
know. She's following one of us, and if she's
not here, she's over there with him. Oh, okay,
so over there, so you have another friend in
the competition? Not yet, but I think she should
join. Oh, okay, you think she should join. I
thought you said she was following your other
friend. She is, but she's just kind of a creeper.
Okay, so where is your other friend at? They
went down that hallway over there. Oh, okay.
Okay, well, I'll send someone to go check and
see and make sure if your friend wants to join,
she can have a full chance. I'm sure she's shy.
All right, she might be cloaked, but she's probably
just staying in the middle of the hallway. Oh,
like what? Cloaked like she's wearing clothes?
Slipper shoes. Slipper shoes. Yeah, like she'll
be invisible, but she just stands there. Oh,
she's invisible. She stands in obvious places.
Okay, I get it. It's pretty easy to find her.
I get it. I'm no longer where I was. We'll send
someone that will... inconspicuously just kind
of announced discreetly if anyone wants to join
that they can't. So you see like another bartender
kind of start walking away to go find your friend.
What would you like to do? I guess I'll walk
toward the hallway. Okay, so yeah, you and this
other bartender are walking like side by side
going the same direction down the hallway. I
slow down just a click. Just a click, okay. Just
so it's not awkward. He kind of looks back at
you like he's like, okay, I guess I'm going first.
So yeah, you and this other bartender start moving
your way towards the back hallway. So are you
going to go wait for him to kind of announce
for... Okay, so are you going to move ahead to
go to the room, or are you going to let the other
worker, like... We'll let him do his thing first.
Let him do his thing first. Careful there. It
kept going with him, too. It's all right. At
least Nick almost died on the tractor. He's drunk
on dumpster juice. Okay, so this bartender worker,
other worker here, goes walking down this hallway
as you're kind of leaning back, watching it unfold.
And he walks down the hallway and you just hear
him going, um, so, um, if there's anybody here
in the hallway that would like to join our contest
that would, you know, is too shy to go join the
contest, um, maybe they're cloaked, um, uh, they
have a friend named... Okay, just me? Are you
talking to me? Who's there? Are you there? No.
Okay, well, I'm just going to leave this here.
It's like a ticket to come up to the counter
and get one of the rooms, if you'd like. So,
if you change your mind, yeah, we'll be on that.
And he turns around and he's like, oh, you, sir,
go ahead. Enjoy your night. And he walks past
you. I'm going to roll something. Yeah, it doesn't
matter. So yeah, this guy walks past you and
heads his way back to the bar. Where are we at
now? What are we doing now? You gotta get out
of this prostitution room. You have to just bust
straight in. Okay. This is on. So as you walk
through... That's a 19. Let's see if I flip it.
What are you rolling? I have no idea. You can't
flip it. You can't. I fucking suck. Let's just
skip tonight. I had that locked out the whole
time. Sorry. So, yeah, dude, you entering? Sure.
Okay. You open the door and you close it behind
you, I'm assuming. You just flee state. How are
you? How are you getting dominated by this thing?
Like, not dominated, but, like, what is this
thing doing that's just, like, got you fucked
up? Like, it's, like, holding you against the
wall. What is it doing? That's not it. It's a
hoop. Grabs you by the throat. How is it fucking
you up? It's fucking you up. It's holding me
by my ankles. By your ankles? Like, upside down?
That motherfucker leaking my toes. Yeah, so,
dude, you walk in and you see this big, burly...
bugbear screaming crying tears running down his
face and it's holding flea stick by its ankles
licking his toes uh he turns and looks at you
and she goes what do you want I just say oh sorry
I'll let you have your privacy and I just go
back out the door how dare you she goes back
to the door and the door closes um okay what
would you like to do I wait until the screaming
stops okay uh flea stick uh She's licking your
toes. She kind of flips you back around, and
she's, like, holding her fist back, like, ready
to hit. And she's like, get out of my room. Now.
I have another one. I thought you were into this
bitch. I'm not anymore. And she, like, tosses
you down towards the door. But I rolled a 20.
Nope. Too late. You passed. And that was a 14.
Oh, my God. All right. You're leaving? Are you
getting out of this room? He's out. Are you getting
out of the room? I'm fucking running out of the
room. Okay, yeah, she releases you. This bitch
has got my toes slippery. You run and slip out
of the fucking tongue, toes covered in saliva
as sliding out of the doorway. Yeah, there you
go. You guys are all three reunited, but you
don't realize it because Miss Buff is still invisible.
You just know she's somewhere nearby. Now she
wants to try to make a perception check to see
if... She didn't try to save me this whole time.
I ain't worried about her. You could have saved
my toes. You could, too. All right, what would
you guys like to do? Fuck. You still have your
bugbear ticket? I am going to wash my toes off.
You can also pay ten gold pieces to... Fuck,
I'll do it one more time. Fuck. Reroll? If I
get the damn fucking same roll, then it's a racket.
All right, give me the ten gold pieces. Oh, you're
back! Did you do a good job? Did you do a good
job? No, I'm going to reroll because someone
broke into your room, apparently, and she had
to beat the shit out of him. She's a little heated.
Oh, that tends to happen. That tends to happen
here. So, you know, it's okay. We will handle
it. Ten gold pieces, and we'll get you a reroll.
I'm scared. I'm scared. You got number two, which
is the gnome. She says, oh, there you go. You
got a new one. This is the gnome of many sizes,
is what we like to call her. Whoa. Feel free
to go enjoy. Have a good time. And you know,
remember, find what makes her happy. Don't make
her tell you what makes her happy. And you'll
do a great job. Just watch the game with her.
Okay. You ready to go? Yeah, why not? Okay. Let
me see. I'm going to erase this piece. Let's
see what you're going into there. I'm going in
blind, but it's better at a disadvantage. Okay,
you walk into this room, and you see a just normal
little gnome person sitting on the end of this
bed. It's just a completely normal, most basic
-ass generic room. And you see this gnome just
sitting there, and she goes, Are you here? Are
you here for the contest? Are you here for the
contest? Are you here for the contest? She's
not completely freaking out. Yep, I'm here for
the contest. Here for the contest, okay, yeah,
well, um, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, they
call me the gnome of many sizes, um, so you're
gonna ask why I, you wanna know why I make that
many sizes? Sure, if you wanna tell me. And she
just, like, instantly, like, and, like, hits
her chest, and she grows, like, big as fuck,
like, full size with the room, like, shoulders
hit the top, she's like, that, that's why they
call me that, that's why they call me that, and
then she's, like, hits herself again, and shrinks
back down to the other side. Oh, that's cool,
I like that. She goes, so, I don't like people.
I don't like talking to people. People suck.
They're like the worst. She goes, so, what would
you like to, what are you going to do? I kind
of feel the same way. I'm not really a person
either. You're not a person? No, I'm something
else. You mean you're something else. What does
that mean? I'm a demon. You're a demon? Yeah,
it's fine. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. And she starts,
like, instantly starts screaming for help. No,
it's fine. No, it's fine. She's into it. Help!
Help! Help! Roll persuasion. She's into it. I
don't know if she's into demons. Let's see. This
is how it goes. This is a little no. That's an
eight. An eight? That's a big no. Okay. She failed.
She failed? That's good. Yeah. So, uh, it's fine.
How's it fine? How's it fine? How's it fine?
What does that mean that you're a demon? Like
you're gonna fucking like rip my heart out and
you're gonna burn my soul? So you're gonna stereotype
me? Yeah. That's not very nice. No, I will not
eat you or rip out your soul. Okay. What are
you gonna do with my soul then? Well, I'm here
to pleasure you in some way. Okay, well, um,
just do you... Clean your toenails. Do you, uh,
do you do, do you do, uh, do you do, do you ever
do, do you ever do drugs? Oh, yes. You ever do
drugs? Many times. Okay, I'm going to show you
something. She pulls out this, like, little thing,
and it's just like a jar. And when you see her
pull this jar out, she immediately becomes, like,
relaxed. She's like, this here, right here, brother.
This is the stuff. And she, like, starts sprinkling
it out on her arm. She goes, do you want some
of this? It's, like, this yellow, but, like,
has purple glowing through it. It's sprinkly
dust. Yeah, let's do it together. Do it together.
Okay, give me a constitution save. Oh, she fell.
What is that? It was a tag. That is a... What
is it? Oh no. Yeah, that's a 21. 21 you save?
Okay, so this drug, whatever we call it, this
crazy magic powder. You ingest it and you feel
like your body goes full enlightened mode. And
you, like, roll back in your head and your eyes
kind of fold over. Before they kind of roll over
and everything kind of goes dark for a second,
you just see her eyes explode. Her head kind
of pops and she falls over onto the bed with
blood just, like, pouring out of the top of her
head. So, luckily, you saved. And she kind of
rolls back and you just see her go like, Oh,
yeah. Where that last thought leaves her head.
But your eyes scroll back in your head and you
go into this black void of nothing. And speaking
of your demon, you see far ahead this black figure
just kind of standing there in this dark void.
He's like, Duke, I see you found one of those
things that send you in the deep part of your
mind palace. So are we here to talk about important
shit or are we not? And as he steps forward,
you kind of see his first real time you see like
the features of his face and his body. And it
is your father. It is the face of your father
and your father's full stature. He steps forward.
He goes, yeah, that's right, Duke. It's me. It's
me, daddy. So I don't know how to explain it.
I died because of, you know. And I was sent to
what we call another place. It wasn't good. There
was a lot of fire. Hell, it was bad. But some
things happened. Sounds nice. Sounds nice, I
know. That's what you think. But some things
happened, and I'm this now. And you see him just
kind of go black in that liquid symbiotic form
that flows out of him that you were before, all
that into your sword and stuff. You see it kind
of bursting out of him. And he kind of just sucks
it back in. Yeah, he splooges out of him. You're
welcome. Give me that, Groot. Yeah, and he sucks
it back in and he goes, so if you just remember,
I'm looking out for you. And then your eyes kind
of roll back forward into your head and you come
out of this dark state. Interesting. But yeah,
the gnome is dead. She's laying on the ground,
head popped. But she was in pleasure at the end.
She did seem like she was in pleasure. So, as
you, what do you do? You go like, just leave?
Or what? How do you want to progress now? How
do I know if I, I mean, is there anything in
the room reward -wise? Um, nothing. No, this
was the most generic -ass room. There was literally
a bed and the gnome. So how does he get his reward?
Well, are you going to just leave the room? Because
I can tell you. I mean, I guess. All right, so
yeah, basically, yes, I'll tell you anyways.
It doesn't bother me. When you turn around, you
see above the door, there's this meter that kind
of just forms. You see it go ding, ding, ding,
ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding,
ding, all the way top filled, and it's green.
So you know that the pleasure meter of this pleasure
pile has been completed. Whether she's dead or
not, that's what she signed up for. The meter
reads what it reads. Yeah. So all she wanted
was someone to do her drugs with her for the
last time. And it popped her brain because she
failed her constitution. She OD'd on that shit.
She was hoping you would die with her, but it
didn't work. No, I don't approve. She didn't
know that. I knew it was going to be. It's funny
because the way I had them set up, each of them
had their own special thing. And I was like,
I really hope. Duke doesn't get that one because
it'd be too easy. But then he'd be like, you
wanna do drugs? And I'd be like, yeah, of course
I'll do drugs. I was hoping Miss Muffin was gonna
stop having Miss Muffin. Yeah, and I was hoping
it'd be Miss Muffin and she would have this like
ultimate fucked up trip and be fucked up in the
room folded. What the hell? And I'm just like,
I talked to Dad. Yeah, he realized that he might
be your dad. Might not be your dad, we don't
know. Probably your dad. So yeah, you walk out
of the room and guess if you're done there. Do
you get a reward for each room, or is it at the
end? You're not really sure. I'm going to go
ask the bartender person. So, yeah, you come
back to the counter, and you've got... You walk
up, and she goes, I see here on our... Oh, fuck,
not computer. We see here on our... Magic chart.
Magic chart here, exactly, yes. Oh, your magic
chart. Yes, yes, my magic chart. I see it on
here that you have a full pleasure for the pleasure
pile room. What was that, Callie? Nothing. Was
that Facebook Reels? No. No, that was a dimension
open for a small second closed. Yes, it has a
weird ripple in time. You've got to watch out
for that. They'll kill you. Yeah, they'll kill
you. They'll rip you to pieces. Spaghettified.
So, I forgot what I was saying. I'm at the bartender.
The meter's full on the magic chart. Oh yeah,
I see here on our magic chart that your meter
is full of pleasure. So, the pleasure pill...
grants you a pick out of our magical items. Oh,
very nice. So I need you to roll me a, I think
it's a D4. All right, what'd you get out? Did
you roll a D4? Four. Four? Okay. Now roll me
a, a, a, a, a, a D100. Oh, yeah, he's the big
boy. I was going to throw up, but then I was
like, it's him. Don't do that. Nope. All right.
Oof, oof, off, eef, seven. Seven? Let's see what
this is then. It was real close to the one. This
one's the best you can get. Oh, nice. So you
get... Let me roll something to give me how many
you get. Seven. And casino's a good number. You
get two... Kyo... Kyo Tom's Ointment. It's this
little glass jar with this rope wrapped around
it and just a cloth kind of placed over, tied
down. A stamp across it that has a circle with
an arrow through it. This glass jar... Oh, it
contains 1B4 plus 1 doses. So you got three doses
of this thick mixture that smells faintly of
aloe. The jar and its contents weigh half a pound.
If you use an action, you can swallow one dose
of the oint... Utilize action. You can swallow
one dose of the ointment or apply it to a creature
within five feet. Creature that receives it regains
2d8 plus two hit points and ceases to have the
poison condition. So you have three uses of that.
Very nice. Three uses. I'm just going to call
it healing ointment. Yeah, that's fine. I can't
even say how it... Yeah, I'm not going to try
and write it. All right. Anything else? Next
room, please. Next room, please. Look at you,
big winner. Let's roll the dice. You get Bully
Wong. Bully Wong. Bully Wong. That's the guy,
isn't it? That's the frog guy. Yeah. All right.
A Bully Wong. No problem. Let's find out what
he's into first. Let's see if it's going to be
an issue. I can tell you what he's into, Wong.
He's a frog man, we'll see. He's into that, Wong.
Maybe I'll kiss him, turn him into a prince.
Maybe. You walk into this room and you're seeing
this nicely, like, fake grass kind of, like,
carpet on the ground. And this dude just sitting
there completely naked, bully Wong. And he's
just sitting on the ground going, ribbit. He's
saying rivet? Yes, he's just going rivet. Like,
he's very obviously saying rivet. Like, he's
not making the rivet sound. He's saying rivet.
So he's saying... Yes, he's saying rivet. I say
rivet again. He, like, points his head towards
you. Call me for space and check. He wants you
to rivet. Let's see. A ten? A ten? Okay. So he
kind of looks at you and he goes, rivet. and
like hops away for a second and hops over to
the corner and just kind of looks back at you
and he's like, ribbit. I say, ribbit. Ribbit.
He turns around and he goes, no one has ever
had a conversation with me like that. He goes,
ribbit as fuck, sir. Ribbit as fuck. And he kind
of hops around and he walks over to the corner
and he starts making something. He goes, are
you hungry? He starts making food. This little
like, Little set up like campfire kitchen thing.
Yeah, I can eat. You can eat. I can always eat.
I can fucking eat. Yeah, I can. He starts like
making some more food. Ass maybe. Okay. He pulls
out this like, looks like this just most homemade
ass like campfire food. Like puts it down and
it's like, it doesn't look great. It doesn't
smell great. He goes, oh, I hope you're fucking
hungry. This is going to be some good stuff right
here. Are you going to eat it? Yes. Okay. Roll
me a constitution. Yeah, pro yes. Hey, it's your
dummy master, Tristan, and I would like to thank
our sponsor, W Energy. W Energy is a growing
and flourishing energy drink powder. We'll see
you next time. and a mystery flavor. The Dragonade
is dragon fruit and pink strawberry lemonade.
Yummy, yummy. I am so excited to try them out.
Our referral link for W Energy will be in the
description along with our discount code for
a 10 % off. Dummies with Dice is the discount
code. Thank you, W Energy. Uh, 21. Oh, you saved.
Good job. Yeah, he goes, you eat it, and it is
the most, like, foul, nasty taste. I'm pretty
sure you feel like flies, like, when you're crunching,
you're just, like, tasting bugs and stuff. Yeah,
you shiver. A shiver goes down your spine, but
you do not vomit all over his table. Damn, that's
good. He goes, yeah, that is some good stuff.
People usually honestly throw up on me when they
eat it, so that's pretty nice. He goes, are you
ready for dessert? Oh, boy. Yeah, let's get it.
Oh, perfect. And he turns around. You see him
literally, like, peel up some, like, bugs off
the bowl. Like, he's like, because this is where
the best shit grows. And he starts grabbing it,
like, putting it in it and mashing it and filling
up this little bowl. And he starts cooking it
over this fire. And you're hearing, like, bugs
snapping and cracking. And he turns around. He
puts it down. He goes, but here's the best part.
He just spits out this weird goo all over this
stuff. He goes, that's what makes it sweet, pal.
Are you going to eat this? I am. Okay, roll me
a constitution save. Miss Muffin swipes it. Very
hard. You're walking in and swiping it? Okay.
Next thing you know, it's gone, and she puts
the plate back, and she leaves. Oh, bullshit.
Are you eating? Are you going to take it for
real? Are you eating it? I've been eating bugs
for a while now because I can't crystallize.
I got a 14. A 14? Well, hang on a minute. I'm
going to sneak in and try to take the plate for
some reason. Okay. So give me a stealth check.
I'm invisible. Yeah, give me a stealth check
at advantage because you're invisible. It's hard
to eat. It's like getting close to his mouth.
24. 24. I don't know why I'm enrolled in that.
So yeah, you sneak in the room. Now give me a
dexterity sleight of hand check as you try to
take the plate of food out of Duke's hands. 20,
but not Nat. Okay. She deep throats that bucket.
He does not notice. Yeah, so you take this plate
and I guess eat it. Make me a constitution save.
Constitution. And put the plate back in Duke's
hands before I guess anyone notices and Duke's
just like, huh? It's empty. It's empty. 19. 19?
Yeah. I'm fucking huge. You save, and you hold
down vomit, or I guess... I make a chewing motion
with my mouth. Yes. Chewing motion. Okay. He
goes, yes, yes, sir. That's some good stuff right
there. Fuck. Give me something. He puts his frog
hand up. He'll give a high five. High five, and
he gives you a sticky, nasty high five. He goes,
that's fucking, look at that door. You look at
the door, and the pressure meter goes, like,
fills all the way up. My guy. My guy. And you
can walk out if you'd like. All right, I use
my other hand to open the door, because that
one's probably sticky and grassy. Yeah, there's
nothing. What are you doing? Obviously, I follow
very closely behind and swiftly leave and say,
you're welcome. He hears, like, you're welcome,
and he goes, okay. I'll wipe my slimy hand in
that direction. Yeah, you get a slimy hand that
goes right down your chest. I'd say thank you.
Right down you. I did give her a thank you. It
was just the first time in history. Yeah, first
time in history. All right, Duke, what are you
doing? Back to the bar. Flea Stick, what are
you doing? You just following along and you trashed.
Yeah. Yeah, Flea Stick's done fucking. He's three
peach splits in and six of those are his. Hey,
question. What? If my thief's tools are successful,
they don't break, right? I can reuse them? Yes.
Or... You're right. I believe so, yeah. So you
don't have to go back to the bar. I can just
unlock these doors. Yeah. You can, but you're
not in the contest for those doors, so... You
have to enter the contest. Oh, okay. So I'll
just wait. All right. So are we going back to
the counter? Yes. All right, dude. You come back,
she goes, oh my god, another one on our chart.
Our magic chart shows that you are pleasing them
all. This has really become a pleasure battle.
Go right way. Roll me a d4. She doesn't. I say,
roll me a d4. She says, roll a d4. Holds a tray
up with some dice on it. No, I don't know why
I'm rolling. Four. Four again? Okay. Roll me
a d100. This one's going to be a little better
because you won two in a row. Miss Muffin, but...
That is a 58. 58. Okay. Got him. Okay, roll me
a d10. You lose. Because I don't want to do it,
and it feels better if you do. Three. Three?
Yes. Huh. Wow. So, you have a ring of resistance.
So, you have resistance to one damage type, which
is fire. So that would give you full... How does
that work? Because you already are resistant
to fire when you're in demon mode. Immunity.
So if you're in demon mode... So resistance half
damage. Immunity is zero at all. So when you're
in demon form now while wearing that ring...
I can just walk plainly in fire. Yeah. Damn.
But that means you're also resistant when you're
in human form still because you have a ring.
Yeah. So... Resistant in normal form, immune
in demon form. You're just slowly becoming full
demon. There you go. All right. Are you going
for another room? Yes. Oh, boy. She goes, well,
you've pleased them all so far. Well, I guess
except, you know, I forgot. You re -rolled. So
we do have two choices. Oh, that was already
one you did. Oh, perfect. Okay. So she says room
number three, you're going to have pain seeker.
So, yeah, she hands you the ticket with the blood
drop on it. Perfect. All right, Miss Muffin,
are you following inside this time? I'm going
to listen and judge on what I decide. This one
could sound interesting. Are you going to go
outside the door, or are you just going to go
in? I don't know yet. I make my decisions as
it goes. Well, as a Dungeons & Dragons game...
I wasn't inside the room the first time. I know,
but then you came in and stealthed, so are you
going to, like, listen through the door then?
Yes. Are you going to listen through the door?
Okay, okay, okay. Duke, are you entering? Going
on into this bitch? You walk in, and there's
this woman sitting there, and she is just, like,
covered in blood. There's blood all over the
place. The walls are covered in blood. She goes,
So they finally sent one. One worthy to come
to my domain. What do you say? What do you do?
Let's see. I appreciate the welcoming to your
domain. Oh, good etiquette. She goes, do you
like the pain? I love the pain. You like the
pain. She goes, so then you're here for the right.
Choice. And she tells you to sit down, like,
in this, uh, ritualistic -looking, like, chair
in the corner of the room. I sit. You sit. This
is crazy! Okay, she instantly, as you sit, uh,
she, like, moves fast as fuck from the lightning.
I'm gonna roll something here. Very good. Roll.
Uh, your hands are, like, she, like, tries to
strap these straps on your arms. Are you gonna
let her, or are you gonna just leave it? You
don't need them. Don't need them? Oh. You're
a brave one. She pulls out a dagger and just
stabs you right in the stomach. Okay. I'm going
to roll something. You take one damage, piercing
damage. She goes, is that what you seek? I love
it. You love it. My turn. She pulls it back out
of you and hands the dagger to you. I stick it
in. What is that? It was right above the hip
and the abdominal area. Right above the abdominal
area. And then I give it a little twist. Okay.
Roll a d4. Okay. Oh, now you're twisting it.
That's kinky shit. Four. D4? Oh, yeah. You stick...
I don't want to get a kill shot in. That would
fuck up the whole thing. So you got to go...
Okay. Place it at a last. Okay, so yeah. What'd
you do? Four damage? Yeah. Okay. All right, yeah,
you stick her, you twist, she goes, oh, fuck,
that hurt. Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow. And she, like,
turns around and starts bouncing around. She
goes, you really fucking did it. Ow, you really
fucking stabbed me. And she, like, pulls it out,
and she goes, that's a lot of blood. That's a
lot of blood. And she, like, looks over, and
she goes, this, this is fake blood. Like, wipes
the shit off of her arm and kind of, like, leans
over. And she goes, okay, okay, you really did
it. That's crazy. That's crazy. She goes, okay,
can I do you again? Can I do you again? Can I
stab you again? I'll do you again. Do me again?
After you stab me again. Ah, fuck, shit, okay.
Well, if you hand me the knife, I mean... Yeah,
well, yeah, but most people, they just say, like,
oh, I can't do it, and that's really awesome
and cool, but you also really stabbed me, and
that was kind of cool, but... Let's work a deal.
I'll give you five for one. You stabbed me five
times? No, you stabbed me five, I stabbed you
one. Hmm. And I'll stab you in the leg. Hmm.
That's love. Hmm. Would that please you? Yeah.
That's fine. I don't want to get stabbed again.
You don't seem very pleased. Ten for one. Ten
for one. Ten for one? Yes, okay, fine, fine.
I like stabbing people, and I feel like people
usually back out, so, yeah, fuck it. No heart
or throat. That's, okay, yeah, I'm not going
to kill you. Okay. I'll go to Tucker Prison or
something, so. All right, great game. Okay, yeah,
okay. What is that, ten? Ten for one. Okay, good
shit. Crazy, taking one for the reward. Okay,
one. Three. Someone want to do math before I
forget because I'm going to do a lot. I'll do
that. That's 30 in it. No. No, 1 and 3, 4. 2.
Okay. 1. Okay. 3. Alright. 4. Okay. 3. Okay.
4. Alright. 2. Okay. Three. I think that was
it, right? All right, 26. Okay, 26 dagger. And
you are bleeding. It's like death by 23 cuts.
And you are shanked. You are hurt. It's bleeding
out. Well, you're not hurt. Fuck, you're a good
crystal. Yeah, I'm not that hurt. Yeah, you're
not that hurt. But you're bleeding good. And
she's like, holy shit, that felt good. And she
says, okay, okay, do the stab. Do it. Do it.
Take the stab. I do that. I do a shallow, like,
one -inch stab on the leg. One -inch stab on
the leg. I, like, hold my thumb on the blade
and, like, go. Give me a D4. Complete four -point.
Three. Three? That is close. I killed her. I
killed her. You stick her, and she goes, ah,
fucking, like, falls over the ground. She goes,
oh, I'm gonna have them stitch this up. I'm gonna
have them stitch this up. She goes, but, fucking,
for real, dude? You got, I got you good, didn't
I? Oh yeah, you got me good. Yeah, I got you
good. I could be such a good fucking killer.
Yeah, and it's been a pleasure for me to stick
up full. So good job. Ms. Muffin, are you going
to do anything? No. I'll walk out the door leaking.
Yeah, he walks out the fucking door leaking blood
all over it. I used one ointment. One ointment?
Oh, there you go. Okay, what was that? I already
forgot. Wasn't that like 2D8 plus 2? And eliminates
poison. I do blue. There's two more rooms. But
there's only one more room you haven't done,
and that was the bugbear, but I'd say she's pretty
much out of it. There's two more blacked -off
rooms. I'd say she don't even want any part of
it anymore. 2d8 plus 2. 2d8 plus 2. Yeah, those
are rooms, but not like those type of rooms.
If you want to go into those, you can. One of
the rooms you can see is open. I'm going to go
ahead and pop this open, because it doesn't matter.
It looks to be a normal bedroom. If you'd like
to go in there, Miss Muffin, you can, but it
just looks to be like an unused bedroom where
someone could sleep. A contestant that could
have been... What about this room over here?
I don't know what that's over here means. The
last room in the hallway. Um, you don't see a
doorway to any room down there, because... Yeah,
there is no door there. The dead -end hallway?
Yeah. Oh. The bugbear one was the very end, but
she's pretty much... Oh, that's not a room. And
she opted out of the venue. Maybe it is, but
not from there. So, Duke, are you... This goes
behind the bar. Behind the bar? Okay, give me
a stealth check with advantage. And Duke's going
back to the bar. Oh, nat 20, so I don't need
advantage. Okay, what are you doing? Plus 10,
so 30. What are you doing? Like, what are you
doing behind the bar? Goes like, well, that's
what it looks like behind the bar. Are you going
to, like, okay, so... I can't tell if I'm looking
at the map right. Okay, when you go behind the
bar, you're seeing... Two bartenders serving
drinks to people. You see flea stick sock jelly
slumped on the counter. And you see Duke engaging
in conversation with one of the bartenders. You
see a small door that leads to the back. That's
what I'm looking for. You're going there? Yeah.
Okay. You can go in there fluently without being
detected. And then I look and see what's in that
room. Yeah. You see a storage room full of food.
drinks, uh, all kinds of goodies of like that
sort. It's just kitchen, kitchen, you can loot
food and drinks. You find alcohol, you find drinks,
you find lots of, lots of sex on the beach, um,
and stuff. So yeah, I guess you can take that.
Fill my sack and boot scootin' boogie. Yeah,
okay, so you step back out of the thing undetected
and invisible. I'd say by now your invisibility's
probably about almost out. Okay, well then I'm
gonna use the rest of it to go down here at the
end of the bar. It looks like there's more doorways
to mysterious rooms. Well, I'll give you, uh,
I'll give you, like, one more turn of, like,
invisibility. So if you want to go into a room,
that's fine, but you might not be visible when
you come out. So you can either go un -invisible
in the middle of this room, where it won't matter
as much, or you can go un -invisible in a room
that you might not be supposed to be in. I'll
just kind of stay where I'm at and linger and
wait and see if one of my, uh, Group members
go in there. Okay. Duke, you're talking for your
new reward, right? Yes. Okay. Give me a d4. One.
A one. Okay. A one? Mm -hmm. Roll me a d100.
Hmm, what's in between two? Let me re -roll.
That was a good roll right there. 66. Okay, so...
You find a spell scroll. We will figure out what
that is later. which what spell it is, and then
we'll go over that. So, yeah, you get a spell
scroll that contains a level four spell. We'll
figure out what spell it is when we do another
roll for it. Yeah, we'll have to figure that
out. Yeah, so, yeah, you get your reward. She
says, you did well, and I would say go ahead
and go again for our Burly the Bugbear, but she
seems to be out for the night, had a disturbing
interaction with someone, and she doesn't want
to be pleased for the night, so she's giving
up. So yeah, you pleased all of our rooms. Good
job. Would you guys like to stay and party or
are you done for the night? We have rooms here
that can accommodate you if you'd like to sleep
here and party your heart out and exit in the
morning. Sure. Okay, so yeah, you guys can spend
your night drinking and partying and sleeping
the night off and getting your long rest as you
fill the night with a bunch of good times and
pleasure pile. This episode of Dummies with Dice
features Kelly Lee as Miss Muffin, Nate Chambers
as Duke Crystal, Ryan Tucker as Flea Stick Sock
Jelly, and Tristan Hayes as the DM. The episode
is edited and mixed by Tristan Hayes. The artwork
for Dummies with Dice, created by Al Sorensen,
can be found on Instagram under A -R -C -S -I
-0. The theme song is The Intense Fiddle by Ben
Caldera. When it comes to Dummies with Dice,
you can find our website on rss .com slash podcast
slash Dummies with Dice and on Facebook at Dummies
with Dice. Most importantly, join our Patreon
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