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discount code. Thank you, W Energy. Viewer warning.

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Use of violence, profanity, rude humor, and the

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portrayal of drug and alcohol use. Welcome back

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to Dummies with Dice, a Dungeons & Dragons actual

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play podcast that follows three not -so -average

00:01:18.079 --> 00:01:19.959
dummies of our world that get caught up in a

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magical storm and are transported to the world

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of Dungeons & Dragons where they must survive

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and try to find a way back home. And we are back,

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so I have our question of the day. Let me find

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this thing. Day. Day. Day. Day. Day. Day. What

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is your go -to guilty pleasure song as your character?

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So, who wants to go first? Ophelia, because it's

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my real name. Bitch, what's up? Yeah, Miss Muffin's

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real name. Ophelia Cornell. Oh, dang. Hi, I'm

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Kelly Lee, and I play Miss Muffin, and you just

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heard all that. Bish. Hey, who's next? Hey, Nate

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here. My character's Duke Crystal. He's a drug

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-addicted level 7 barbarian warlock of the group.

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And I guess Duke's answer to the question would

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be, I kissed a girl. No! At least it was a girl.

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Some Katy Perry, eh? You can't have Katy Perry!

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Didn't one of his facts back in the day was like,

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he loves anime, so it's like... What is Duke

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inside? He's listening to Katy Perry. He's listening

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to Katy Perry. He's very convoluted inside. Let's

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be honest. We all listen to Katy Perry. I love

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Katy Perry. He keeps a mask, a facade up front.

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He can't be seen as weak. Not in his business.

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Not in his line of work. All right. Please do.

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For Ryan talking here, I play this. Please take

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Sogjolly. I'm the Hobo Trashmaster Cleric of

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the God Rumpke. I am the MacGyver of all things

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trash and garbage, and my guilty pleasure song

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is I Love Trash by Oscar the Grinch. I love trash.

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Wait. Wait. Oh, I love trash. So where we left

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off. Before our master had surgery. Before I

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had faithful surgery on my mouth. You guys had

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been inside of the Dungeon of Deception, or Dungeon

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of Deceit. I can't remember exactly what it's

00:03:26.139 --> 00:03:28.979
called. So you're in this place. You went through

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these dungeon rooms. You fought skeletons that

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were flowing out of cauldrons. You tried to get

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trapped inside of a wine room. And now you have

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made your way to this pentagram -lined floor.

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Smelt of brimstone. You fought a frog. demon

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thing that was being controlled by a red gem

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on his head you killed him um was probably teabagged

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and you smashed it you smashed the gem and then

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flea stick mended the gem to his crystal blue

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gem on his foreheads or on his helmet and then

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after you guys did that this red aura of energy

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bursted out and flowed through the hallways and

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throughout the building So. Like a dusty fart.

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We pick up where we left off. Like a dusty fart

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is where we pick up where we left off. So. What

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would you guys like to do now that you're in

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this room, the body lays on the ground of the

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gray slad, as it's called. Slade the slad. Loot?

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Loot the body. Loot the body? What's the body?

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I forgot. What are we talking about? It's the

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frog thing. Yeah. Isn't it like a stone frog?

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Um. I don't remember. I couldn't either. Hang

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on, I got his... He's gray. He's a... No, he's

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not. He's just a... He's just gray skin. He's

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just a gray slad. Yeah, it's just his type of

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species, I guess. Sticky fingers in his butthole,

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so he's gone. Yeah, you can. You can give a loot

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if you want. Give me a... Investigation. It's

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on my pouch. He's gone. Give me an investigation

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check. Don't worry, I totally am ready. You got

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real dice. I'm gonna use my real nice yedingus.

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Eleven. Eleven. So I'm gonna say with an eleventy,

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you're kind of searching over this thing's body,

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and you're feeling that it's, uh... A frog. How

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do frogs lay eggs? How does that happen? Some

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have them on their back. You find a slat egg.

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On this. I don't know how you find it. I don't

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know the anatomy of a fucking frog, but you find

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an egg. I think they have them on their back,

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don't they? You find an egg. Have them on their

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back? So, sure. Would that be like a tadpole

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form? It's not a tadpole. It's an egg form still.

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You reached up in the frog and got an egg. Yeah,

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sure. You're noticing there's eggs on it. Wow.

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Maybe when it died, it shit them out. I was like,

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whoa. You're finding eggs. What the fuck, guys?

00:06:06.800 --> 00:06:08.500
This is cooking eggs. It was a death birth. It

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was a death birth. That's what it was like. Okay.

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Tadpole baby. So what are you doing with it?

00:06:14.730 --> 00:06:15.889
You're going to take it or you're just going

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to look at it? We're going to fry it up. Let

00:06:17.910 --> 00:06:19.149
me look at something real quick. I'll tell you

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what it looks like. I was going to say, I need

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more information. I'm scared. A baseball -sized

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little tadpole. I'm terrified of this gross -looking

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egg shit. Will we eat it? You need a frog egg.

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I don't like a bunch of holes. He said, I don't

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know. I don't know about that. Frogs that have

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like the... Babies on their back have, like,

00:06:40.819 --> 00:06:44.060
holes all over their back. Gross. Really? Look

00:06:44.060 --> 00:06:45.839
it up. Look it up. Look it up. Okay, so this

00:06:45.839 --> 00:06:50.519
egg actually... This egg, I think, actually comes

00:06:50.519 --> 00:06:54.000
from a gland under one of its claws. What? Yeah.

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And the egg kind of does its thing, but... Yeah.

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Lay it in the prey? Tover. Yeah. From under its

00:07:02.519 --> 00:07:05.579
claws? Yeah. Like its feet? Like it comes out

00:07:05.579 --> 00:07:07.980
of its thing, so... Yeah, put it in one of your

00:07:07.980 --> 00:07:11.300
cuts. See what happens. I'm going to kick it

00:07:11.300 --> 00:07:14.019
towards Duke Crystal and say, here you go, you

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deal with it. Okay, kick it away. I mean, do

00:07:17.600 --> 00:07:18.620
you guys want to deal with it or do you just

00:07:18.620 --> 00:07:21.120
want to leave it? I put it in my pack. You put

00:07:21.120 --> 00:07:25.300
it in your pack? He's going to incubate it in

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his butt crack. Basically your bag. It's going

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to eat through the fabric. So you put this like

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little squishy, nasty little egg in your pack.

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It's like gray. You can see like life inside

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of it. Like it's kind of foreign, but there's

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not much more. So yeah, you stick it in there

00:07:41.550 --> 00:07:44.230
in a slime spot. Either that or I pop it like

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a water balloon. Yeah, it's whatever you guys

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want to do with it. I don't really give a shit.

00:07:47.069 --> 00:07:48.949
I'm scared. But that's what you really find on

00:07:48.949 --> 00:07:52.350
this thing. So there is a sarcophagus in the

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middle of the pentagram. And there's also a tunnel

00:07:55.189 --> 00:07:58.329
that you saw in the north side of the room. You

00:07:58.329 --> 00:08:01.970
open sarcophaguses. That's your thing. We don't

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like getting poisoned totally. I'll heal you.

00:08:03.949 --> 00:08:06.529
You almost killed my cat, B. What the hell's

00:08:06.529 --> 00:08:13.430
that? 21? Let's pop it open. Alright, give me

00:08:13.430 --> 00:08:22.089
a strength athletics check. 18? Oh yeah, just

00:08:22.089 --> 00:08:29.410
beat it. So, okay, you... Within this sarcophagus,

00:08:29.410 --> 00:08:31.389
as you pop it open, you don't see... Nothing

00:08:31.389 --> 00:08:32.649
happens to you. Sorry, I had to read a little

00:08:32.649 --> 00:08:36.190
passage. So, when you pop open this lid, within

00:08:36.190 --> 00:08:39.850
is a varnished clay urn containing the skull

00:08:39.850 --> 00:08:45.299
and bones of a grung. A what? Which is a... You

00:08:45.299 --> 00:08:46.700
don't really know what that is, but... It doesn't

00:08:46.700 --> 00:08:48.419
sound like you're saying words, sir. You can

00:08:48.419 --> 00:08:54.440
see that it says bones of a grung. And some other

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name, but whatever. So what would you like to

00:08:57.139 --> 00:09:01.320
do? I'd take... Take the bones? The urn with

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the bones in the middle. Why? I need you to make

00:09:04.320 --> 00:09:09.940
me a wisdom saving throw. Okay. Yeah, dude. Very

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hard one. Good fortune. Oh. Oh, okay. Hard one.

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Okay. That's it. To six. I highly doubt that

00:09:22.289 --> 00:09:27.049
six is going to beat the very hard roll. Yeah,

00:09:27.049 --> 00:09:30.149
tell us what's up. Have it speak to me. Whatever

00:09:30.149 --> 00:09:37.070
it's going to do. Try and molest my mind. Okay,

00:09:37.210 --> 00:09:40.399
so you reach out and you touch this urn. And

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you feel this, like, wave of energy kind of flow

00:09:43.240 --> 00:09:45.120
over you, and you just start irresistibly dancing.

00:09:45.340 --> 00:09:47.379
Like, you're dancing as hard as you've ever danced

00:09:47.379 --> 00:09:48.480
before. I said we're going to have a dance party.

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My legs are kicking, legs are smacking, and you're,

00:09:50.639 --> 00:09:53.559
like, your brain's, like, hitting it. Your brain's,

00:09:53.600 --> 00:09:55.879
like, raking because of this, like, forced movement

00:09:55.879 --> 00:10:00.340
to be moved. So I need to roll. Kind of a bigger

00:10:00.340 --> 00:10:04.149
thing here. And the Irish jig. Ooh, that was

00:10:04.149 --> 00:10:06.750
the max damage roll. You get 10 psychic damage

00:10:06.750 --> 00:10:10.129
as this thing's breaking your brain to make you

00:10:10.129 --> 00:10:14.509
dance. So, yeah. Yeah, that happens. Oh, yeah.

00:10:15.730 --> 00:10:19.309
Six foot, seven foot. Okay, so as that happens,

00:10:19.529 --> 00:10:21.549
what do you want to do? Do you want to go back

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into the sarcophagus and keep searching? Or do

00:10:25.110 --> 00:10:26.610
you want to send somebody else? I throw it to

00:10:26.610 --> 00:10:31.330
Miss Muffin. Oh, my God! I catch it perfectly

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and I start dancing. Really? You're going to

00:10:33.809 --> 00:10:37.370
catch it? Well, it's instinctual. Okay. Then

00:10:37.370 --> 00:10:40.309
make me a wisdom saving throw. Very hard. If

00:10:40.309 --> 00:10:42.090
you're going to instinctually catch it. I can't

00:10:42.090 --> 00:10:44.690
help myself. I didn't even mean to catch it.

00:10:44.690 --> 00:10:47.129
Cat -like reflexes. Cat -like reflexes. Give

00:10:47.129 --> 00:10:51.389
you a what? A wisdom saving throw. It's very

00:10:51.389 --> 00:10:56.480
hard. Wisdom saving throw. Yeah. Bye. The flea

00:10:56.480 --> 00:10:59.159
stick might have a chance. Oh, 19 plus 1, 20.

00:11:00.279 --> 00:11:04.080
20? Yeah. You failed. What? So you feel your

00:11:04.080 --> 00:11:06.179
body start to, like, twitch, and, like, your

00:11:06.179 --> 00:11:08.779
brain's, like, being overcharged, and you start

00:11:08.779 --> 00:11:11.299
doing... Okay, I was about to say, what kind

00:11:11.299 --> 00:11:13.639
of dance do you do? So you're doing the Beetlejuice.

00:11:13.639 --> 00:11:16.179
The Beetlejuice. Okay, so, yeah, you start kicking

00:11:16.179 --> 00:11:18.620
and slapping those elbows around, and you feel

00:11:18.620 --> 00:11:20.799
your brain start to just be raked with this pain,

00:11:20.980 --> 00:11:25.309
and you get... Three damage of psychic damage.

00:11:25.370 --> 00:11:26.870
Yeah, because Miss Buffett's already crazy and

00:11:26.870 --> 00:11:29.710
doesn't give a fuck. All right, now what do you

00:11:29.710 --> 00:11:35.750
guys do? Do you want to search the rest of the

00:11:35.750 --> 00:11:37.409
sarcophagus, or do you want somebody else to

00:11:37.409 --> 00:11:39.009
do it? You guys just say, fuck the sarcophagus.

00:11:39.629 --> 00:11:42.330
I smash the iron with my boot. Okay, yeah, you

00:11:42.330 --> 00:11:43.990
can do that. Just smash it, and it just kind

00:11:43.990 --> 00:11:46.789
of shatters there on the ground. And I piss on

00:11:46.789 --> 00:11:49.850
the bones. Okay. Give me a constitution statement.

00:11:52.480 --> 00:11:57.879
It's getting intense. Oof. Five. Five? Okay,

00:11:57.980 --> 00:12:02.279
you pee on it very well. Oh my god. Solid, solid.

00:12:02.580 --> 00:12:06.759
He's always peeing on shit. So, um, let's see.

00:12:06.820 --> 00:12:08.519
What do you want to do then? After you smashed

00:12:08.519 --> 00:12:10.480
and peed on that? It wasn't really that hard

00:12:10.480 --> 00:12:13.940
to check. That's about all that's in there, right?

00:12:14.100 --> 00:12:16.399
Yeah. Well, you haven't really searched the rest

00:12:16.399 --> 00:12:17.860
of the sarcophagus. You just kind of picked up

00:12:17.860 --> 00:12:20.080
the urn. And peed on it. Oh, yeah, that thing

00:12:20.080 --> 00:12:23.879
is garbage. On to the next thing. If there was

00:12:23.879 --> 00:12:26.779
anything else in there, we're checking it out.

00:12:26.860 --> 00:12:28.759
Moving on. Okay, yeah, you can search it if you

00:12:28.759 --> 00:12:32.460
want to go. Okay, give me a... Never mind, you

00:12:32.460 --> 00:12:34.450
don't have to give me anything. You look inside

00:12:34.450 --> 00:12:36.389
of it now that you've got this big spurn out

00:12:36.389 --> 00:12:42.490
of the way. You find a potion of poison. Deadly.

00:12:43.350 --> 00:12:48.330
I fucked that up. What did I actually get then?

00:12:48.850 --> 00:12:53.549
Too late. It's an antidote of healing. It was

00:12:53.549 --> 00:12:59.250
a potion of supreme healing disguised as a potion

00:12:59.250 --> 00:13:02.580
of supreme healing. So, like, you would have

00:13:02.580 --> 00:13:04.139
taken it as supreme healing and it would have

00:13:04.139 --> 00:13:06.120
poisoned you. So, what I'm going to say is...

00:13:06.120 --> 00:13:07.960
Thanks for telling me. So, what I'm going to

00:13:07.960 --> 00:13:10.220
say is, since I just boofed that, is you've got

00:13:10.220 --> 00:13:13.379
a potion of poison disguised as a potion of supreme

00:13:13.379 --> 00:13:16.440
healing. Good. So, we know what we can use it

00:13:16.440 --> 00:13:18.220
for. So, if I wanted to kill a team member when

00:13:18.220 --> 00:13:20.000
they're really hurting and lowing down... No,

00:13:20.000 --> 00:13:23.440
I already heard. I was listening. Or, like, yeah,

00:13:23.500 --> 00:13:24.620
you know what I mean. Well, they're not going

00:13:24.620 --> 00:13:26.159
to ask questions. They're going to be like, oh,

00:13:26.179 --> 00:13:28.000
thanks for the heals. Yeah. No, I'm going to

00:13:28.000 --> 00:13:31.399
ask. I'm going to ask. I mean, you know, none

00:13:31.399 --> 00:13:33.379
of you have supreme healing potions. I'll just

00:13:33.379 --> 00:13:35.759
sell it to a store. That's some fucking great

00:13:35.759 --> 00:13:39.059
shit. That's some serial killer shit. That's

00:13:39.059 --> 00:13:41.879
such a big potion of healing. That's so bad.

00:13:42.740 --> 00:13:51.519
Jesus. No, it's not. It's business. So many creatures.

00:13:52.320 --> 00:13:58.460
It has value with its current identity. Okay.

00:13:59.399 --> 00:14:03.240
Moving on. Is that all? Uh, yeah. So, the egg,

00:14:03.399 --> 00:14:05.139
as you're kind of walking away, you're feeling

00:14:05.139 --> 00:14:08.960
it, like, you're feeling that thing start to

00:14:08.960 --> 00:14:11.240
squish around and move a lot more, a lot rapidly.

00:14:11.519 --> 00:14:14.299
I pull it out, throw it on the ground. Not hard,

00:14:14.460 --> 00:14:15.879
I just kind of, like, a little roll. Sit it down,

00:14:15.919 --> 00:14:17.500
like, let it, like, roll out of there. Yeah.

00:14:17.580 --> 00:14:19.600
You're seeing this thing kind of, like, move

00:14:19.600 --> 00:14:21.379
and form. It's birthing. But, like, it's not

00:14:21.379 --> 00:14:24.440
birthing, almost. It's just, like, you're seeing,

00:14:24.480 --> 00:14:26.779
like, something magical inside of this egg. Like,

00:14:26.779 --> 00:14:31.059
it's a different type. of nothing you guys have

00:14:31.059 --> 00:14:34.019
ever seen before. Even in real world, it's just

00:14:34.019 --> 00:14:37.220
like an unearthly magic -looking little egg.

00:14:37.500 --> 00:14:40.519
Maybe because it was born from a type of creature

00:14:40.519 --> 00:14:43.000
that was being powered by magic. Do I have any

00:14:43.000 --> 00:14:47.259
water? Water? I'm sure I have some. I'm not sure.

00:14:47.299 --> 00:14:49.000
I would say you guys probably have a canteen

00:14:49.000 --> 00:14:50.720
of water. I have water. I pour a little water

00:14:50.720 --> 00:14:53.000
on it. Pour a little water on it? Yeah. Okay.

00:14:53.460 --> 00:14:56.200
It goes like, wiggles a little bit, squirms.

00:14:56.590 --> 00:15:01.169
And make me a wisdom save. All of us or just

00:15:01.169 --> 00:15:04.090
me? Because we're all looking at it. This is

00:15:04.090 --> 00:15:05.909
just something I'm holding. That would be...

00:15:05.909 --> 00:15:10.549
I'm looking at it. I swear. I seen it. 18. 18?

00:15:10.830 --> 00:15:12.570
Okay, so you're looking at this thing and you

00:15:12.570 --> 00:15:16.169
feel it kind of merge with your mind a little

00:15:16.169 --> 00:15:19.389
bit. And it's like understanding. You're getting

00:15:19.389 --> 00:15:22.429
a weird understanding of this little magic creature

00:15:22.429 --> 00:15:25.730
inside. And this thing, if you carry it with

00:15:25.730 --> 00:15:28.500
you, Since this is my form of attuning it with

00:15:28.500 --> 00:15:32.340
you, it's going to act as a Pearl of Power. So

00:15:32.340 --> 00:15:34.860
while this Pearl is on your person, you can take

00:15:34.860 --> 00:15:37.799
a magic action to regain one expended spell slot

00:15:37.799 --> 00:15:41.519
of level 3 or lower. Once you use the Pearl,

00:15:41.639 --> 00:15:43.840
it cannot be used again until the next dawn.

00:15:44.379 --> 00:15:46.820
That's cool. So it could work for you with your

00:15:46.820 --> 00:15:48.559
Warlock levels. I don't know. I'm going to assume

00:15:48.559 --> 00:15:53.200
that's the same thing. Hello. Wow. You also have

00:15:53.200 --> 00:15:56.509
resistance to poison damage. Even though you

00:15:56.509 --> 00:15:59.289
have poison on you. So. Nice. You shouldn't have

00:15:59.289 --> 00:16:02.590
gave it up. I didn't want that creepy buggy.

00:16:02.669 --> 00:16:05.789
He's probably scared of power. Alright. And what

00:16:05.789 --> 00:16:09.350
was the name of what he technically is? A pearl?

00:16:09.509 --> 00:16:12.909
What was it? A pearl of power. Okay. Alright.

00:16:13.110 --> 00:16:16.710
How did a pearl come out of a frog? He's a special

00:16:16.710 --> 00:16:19.570
froggy. He likes clams. He has the ability of

00:16:19.570 --> 00:16:24.409
pearl of power. Okay. So. Now. What would you

00:16:24.409 --> 00:16:29.690
guys like to do? On to the next room. Next room?

00:16:29.850 --> 00:16:33.769
Okay, so there's a tunnel to the north of this

00:16:33.769 --> 00:16:36.210
room, and then there's back the way you came.

00:16:38.549 --> 00:16:40.129
Do you want to investigate the tunnel, or do

00:16:40.129 --> 00:16:44.250
you want to... Secret tunnel! Okay, so give me

00:16:44.250 --> 00:16:46.990
a perception check. All of us? If you want, if

00:16:46.990 --> 00:16:49.889
you want to help him. I do, I do, I do. I just

00:16:49.889 --> 00:16:58.759
have to ask, because I'm not sure. 15. Same.

00:16:59.480 --> 00:17:06.500
15. Ha ha, roll off. Let me get you. 12 plus

00:17:06.500 --> 00:17:11.819
5, 17. Oh. Okay, so you all get a very strong

00:17:11.819 --> 00:17:15.480
whiff of wine coming through this room. Yum.

00:17:15.859 --> 00:17:19.079
It smells like cheese. You say wine? Yes, wine.

00:17:19.259 --> 00:17:23.319
Is there cheese? Probably, assuming it leads

00:17:23.319 --> 00:17:27.240
back to your wine room. Oh. Or, you know, wine

00:17:27.240 --> 00:17:31.640
pool. Let's see. Smells like church. Smells like

00:17:31.640 --> 00:17:35.460
wine. Okay. Takes back church. Must be church.

00:17:35.539 --> 00:17:39.880
So that's waste of time. Church wine. Okay. We

00:17:39.880 --> 00:17:44.299
go back. Go back? Yes. Alrighty then. So, you

00:17:44.299 --> 00:17:47.859
remember as you entered, right before you entered

00:17:47.859 --> 00:17:49.740
the room with skeletons with the zombie door

00:17:49.740 --> 00:17:52.619
that you made open. Yes. You step out into that

00:17:52.619 --> 00:17:55.759
hallway. Yes. And to your... Is that another

00:17:55.759 --> 00:17:58.539
hole? West was a secret door you found. Yes,

00:17:58.539 --> 00:18:01.819
we will go that way. Go that way? Yes. How big's

00:18:01.819 --> 00:18:06.619
this secret door? Small. Small and secret. Alice

00:18:06.619 --> 00:18:10.240
in Wonderland is small. Not that small, but small.

00:18:11.680 --> 00:18:14.779
Okay. A giant couldn't walk through. You walk

00:18:14.779 --> 00:18:17.420
into, behind the secret door, you see a carved

00:18:17.420 --> 00:18:19.420
stone font filled with water. What would you

00:18:19.420 --> 00:18:22.839
guys like to do? A font? A what? A font? Uh,

00:18:23.099 --> 00:18:26.160
Ms. Buffett's gonna drink some of this. It's

00:18:26.160 --> 00:18:29.299
a birdbath. Oh, okay. It's a birdbath. Yeah,

00:18:29.319 --> 00:18:31.700
say that then. Just say that. We're intelligent

00:18:31.700 --> 00:18:34.720
around here. We're intelligent around here. A

00:18:34.720 --> 00:18:41.599
fucking font? Healing. Healing. because he read

00:18:41.599 --> 00:18:43.920
it in some red type thing. It is the only way

00:18:43.920 --> 00:18:46.640
I knew it. I don't know how to read that. It's

00:18:46.640 --> 00:18:48.259
a bird bath because I look at it and it looks

00:18:48.259 --> 00:18:51.640
like a damn bird bath. No birds in this fucking

00:18:51.640 --> 00:18:54.039
dungeon. What's a squirrel feeder called? I don't

00:18:54.039 --> 00:18:58.799
know. A font. A font. A font. Okay, so what would

00:18:58.799 --> 00:19:00.640
you guys have to do? I'm sorry. There's going

00:19:00.640 --> 00:19:02.839
to be a hallway ahead that leads to a set of

00:19:02.839 --> 00:19:04.240
stairs. Miss Muffin's going to drink some water.

00:19:04.240 --> 00:19:05.839
Actually, those stairs aren't good. Those stairs

00:19:05.839 --> 00:19:09.640
aren't good. Come on. No, I saw them. They're

00:19:09.640 --> 00:19:11.299
not there. Those aren't even real. I'm taking

00:19:11.299 --> 00:19:12.980
those out. Okay, then. They're not there. So,

00:19:12.980 --> 00:19:15.359
yeah. That's fucked. No fault. Someone collapsed

00:19:15.359 --> 00:19:17.279
the tunnel. Yeah, the tunnel is collapsed ahead.

00:19:17.400 --> 00:19:19.420
Oh, there's no passage. I'll punch my fucking

00:19:19.420 --> 00:19:23.720
way through it. All right, so what would you

00:19:23.720 --> 00:19:26.000
guys like to do as you see this water thing?

00:19:26.799 --> 00:19:28.579
Touch it. I thought about putting my egg in it,

00:19:28.640 --> 00:19:31.319
but I'm scared. So I want her to drink it first.

00:19:32.059 --> 00:19:49.819
Waterboard it. Her left hand. As you look into

00:19:49.819 --> 00:19:53.220
this water, as the water kind of flows in there,

00:19:53.259 --> 00:19:55.559
you see it start to swirl. And this eerie light

00:19:55.559 --> 00:19:58.380
kind of emanates from within this thing. Slowly,

00:19:58.619 --> 00:20:01.859
an image resolves on the water's surface. You

00:20:01.859 --> 00:20:06.519
just play into it. You're seeing inside of this...

00:20:06.519 --> 00:20:10.319
Are you just jerking it? You smack your hand

00:20:10.319 --> 00:20:12.880
in the water. Oh, okay. I think you look like

00:20:12.880 --> 00:20:14.500
you're jerking it. Which is kind of good because

00:20:14.500 --> 00:20:16.940
as you're looking through this water and this

00:20:16.940 --> 00:20:18.599
thing and you're doing this jerking motion, you

00:20:18.599 --> 00:20:20.720
realize you're looking through the eyes of a

00:20:20.720 --> 00:20:23.990
two -guardian patrolling this dungeon. and he

00:20:23.990 --> 00:20:25.750
feels this weird sensation of his hands start

00:20:25.750 --> 00:20:28.410
trying to jerk his own. No! Stop! It's like the

00:20:28.410 --> 00:20:31.430
fucking impulsive jerk. I was splashing around

00:20:31.430 --> 00:20:35.029
the tub. I was just splashing around. The tub

00:20:35.029 --> 00:20:36.569
was impulsive. I was just fucking the bitch.

00:20:36.769 --> 00:20:38.849
I was just fucking around, man. I was just hanging

00:20:38.849 --> 00:20:41.069
out. Why are you jerking off the guards? I'm

00:20:41.069 --> 00:20:46.730
not! I wasn't! Okay, so you see through the eyes

00:20:46.730 --> 00:20:49.009
of what looks to be a tomb guardian, and he's

00:20:49.009 --> 00:20:51.509
kind of patrolling around areas of this town.

00:20:51.509 --> 00:20:53.750
He sounds upset that you played with his jealousy.

00:20:54.089 --> 00:20:57.329
No! I didn't do that! That's sexual assault!

00:20:57.690 --> 00:21:01.150
What was his own hand? Okay, so that's what you

00:21:01.150 --> 00:21:05.470
see. Body theft and sexual assault. Okay, after

00:21:05.470 --> 00:21:09.910
you see that... I see what? He's not even dead!

00:21:10.329 --> 00:21:14.589
Wait, you guys, be quiet. What? You see through

00:21:14.589 --> 00:21:17.269
the eyes of a tomb guardian that's patrolling

00:21:17.269 --> 00:21:19.109
the dungeon. Oh, wow. You're seeing his movement.

00:21:19.309 --> 00:21:23.450
So I see everybody but the guard because I'm

00:21:23.450 --> 00:21:25.309
looking through his eyes. You're seeing everybody

00:21:25.309 --> 00:21:29.829
but what? Yeah. But the guard. Yeah, you're not

00:21:29.829 --> 00:21:31.750
seeing the guard. You're seeing his fucking arms

00:21:31.750 --> 00:21:33.589
and his feet and shit because you're looking

00:21:33.589 --> 00:21:35.609
through his eyes. You look down and you see his

00:21:35.609 --> 00:21:38.509
hand jerking. The image is flowing in the water.

00:21:39.230 --> 00:21:41.970
You're seeing it in the water. I'm just making

00:21:41.970 --> 00:21:48.569
for sure. I'm just making for sure. All right,

00:21:49.650 --> 00:21:52.849
so as I'm looking around, I see what? It fades

00:21:52.849 --> 00:21:56.170
away. It stops showing you anymore. You see nothing

00:21:56.170 --> 00:21:58.670
else. All you did was sexually assault the guard.

00:21:58.789 --> 00:22:00.829
Yeah, all you did was make him. That was it.

00:22:01.089 --> 00:22:04.490
This father fondled himself. I wasn't trying

00:22:04.490 --> 00:22:14.210
to, I swear. I'm wrong. Hey, I'm wrong, Kelly.

00:22:14.490 --> 00:22:19.109
Make me a fucking wisdom save. Why? He's going

00:22:19.109 --> 00:22:50.089
to jerk you over. So, you making your wisdom

00:22:50.089 --> 00:22:54.170
save? Yeah, I got it for free. You feel him.

00:22:54.309 --> 00:22:56.450
I was about to. Oh, I can't say that. I was going

00:22:56.450 --> 00:23:01.869
to say, you see him look at you. You see that

00:23:01.869 --> 00:23:06.309
he gets alert. He goes, I see you. And you know

00:23:06.309 --> 00:23:08.150
that this guy has seen that you were looking

00:23:08.150 --> 00:23:16.279
at him through this thing. So. Okay. Okay. Just

00:23:16.279 --> 00:23:18.000
hang out there at the fountain. We're going to

00:23:18.000 --> 00:23:21.380
push ahead. And yeah. Yeah, so you're going to

00:23:21.380 --> 00:23:23.259
leave that thing? She's going to stay there.

00:23:23.380 --> 00:23:25.799
Yeah, I'm going to stop splashing around. That's

00:23:25.799 --> 00:23:27.500
all I was doing. She's going to stay there right

00:23:27.500 --> 00:23:28.940
by the fountain and we're going to move ahead.

00:23:29.779 --> 00:23:31.319
You guys can splash around in the fountain. That

00:23:31.319 --> 00:23:33.180
way when the tomb guard shows up, she'll be there

00:23:33.180 --> 00:23:35.880
waiting for him. Anybody want a drink from the

00:23:35.880 --> 00:23:43.259
fountain? Okay, so. As you trudge past this thing.

00:23:43.980 --> 00:23:46.140
You're kind of hearing the footsteps of that

00:23:46.140 --> 00:23:51.400
guard coming from down this hallway. Well, I

00:23:51.400 --> 00:23:53.400
turn around and grab Ms. Muffin and push her

00:23:53.400 --> 00:23:56.880
ahead of me. No! Stop it! As you get towards

00:23:56.880 --> 00:23:59.000
that opening, you're also seeing another hallway

00:23:59.000 --> 00:24:02.660
that goes to a door to the north. And I run through

00:24:02.660 --> 00:24:04.380
the door to the north. He is coming from the

00:24:04.380 --> 00:24:08.079
west hallway. There's a north hall. Well, I lead

00:24:08.079 --> 00:24:11.559
down the west, pushing her forward. Okay. Alright,

00:24:11.740 --> 00:24:14.769
you gonna fight this? I already tried. I just

00:24:14.769 --> 00:24:18.029
did. What? I said I ran to the north door. Oh,

00:24:18.029 --> 00:24:21.369
give me a dexterity save. Dude, give me athletics.

00:24:22.009 --> 00:24:29.309
Gotcha. Oh, you're hit. You're fucking hit. Uh,

00:24:30.529 --> 00:24:36.190
28. Yeah, he's actually pushing you forward.

00:24:37.430 --> 00:24:39.769
Why? To what? Pushing me forward to what? The

00:24:39.769 --> 00:24:42.029
tomb guard that you fondled and is now angrily

00:24:42.029 --> 00:24:44.250
coming up here to fuck us up. It's your business.

00:24:44.349 --> 00:24:47.509
You started this. You finish it. I'm not going

00:24:47.509 --> 00:24:51.410
to lead the front and deal your battles. I didn't

00:24:51.410 --> 00:24:54.630
fondle him. I splashed him. He has every right

00:24:54.630 --> 00:24:56.690
to come fuck you up right now and I'm not going

00:24:56.690 --> 00:24:59.670
to get in his way. Once you start your altercation,

00:24:59.809 --> 00:25:03.250
I will go to the north tunnel. Alright, so. You

00:25:03.250 --> 00:25:05.069
can handle this. You're a roguelike. Yeah, you

00:25:05.069 --> 00:25:09.460
got this. So, I'm gonna... Freaking... One second.

00:25:09.960 --> 00:25:12.720
Right by your shoulders like this. Just pushing

00:25:12.720 --> 00:25:17.940
you forward. I don't know what to do! I'm gonna

00:25:17.940 --> 00:25:20.039
drop. I'm gonna just drop out of his hands real

00:25:20.039 --> 00:25:22.160
fast and then I'm gonna use my spider slippers

00:25:22.160 --> 00:25:25.099
to walk up the fucking wall and be on the ceiling

00:25:25.099 --> 00:25:27.539
and be like, fuck you, stop doing this. Okay,

00:25:27.559 --> 00:25:33.640
so yeah. What we're gonna do here is... So, you

00:25:33.640 --> 00:25:37.609
see this door. bust open and you're seeing this

00:25:37.609 --> 00:25:42.289
big ass iron like super spiked shoulders he's

00:25:42.289 --> 00:25:45.869
got like metal armor full -blown heavy metal

00:25:45.869 --> 00:25:49.009
armor big old knight's helmet on can't even see

00:25:49.009 --> 00:25:53.150
inside of it he's got heads hanging from his

00:25:53.150 --> 00:25:56.789
belt with masks strapped to them like iron masks

00:25:56.789 --> 00:26:00.490
chains hanging from his body and he's covered

00:26:00.490 --> 00:26:03.410
in blood This dude's a fucking miniboss at least.

00:26:03.650 --> 00:26:07.049
Well, you got it, Gilly. So he walks out and

00:26:07.049 --> 00:26:11.970
he says, Who are you? What are you doing in a

00:26:11.970 --> 00:26:14.730
tomb? He starts getting fiery and starts building

00:26:14.730 --> 00:26:17.930
up more. You can feel his aura getting built

00:26:17.930 --> 00:26:20.589
up. Why are we in this tomb? I just pat her on

00:26:20.589 --> 00:26:22.349
the shoulder and say, You got this. And I give

00:26:22.349 --> 00:26:23.990
her a little push. And then I just turn around

00:26:23.990 --> 00:26:25.730
and start hitting her. Run your full movement

00:26:25.730 --> 00:26:27.529
speed. Yeah, dad. To wherever the fuck you're

00:26:27.529 --> 00:26:30.049
going. Safety. Are you going to the north to

00:26:30.049 --> 00:26:32.920
run? Out? Or what? I just get away from Duke

00:26:32.920 --> 00:26:36.220
Crystal. Just run. Okay. I'll leave you be. Just

00:26:36.220 --> 00:26:39.920
do your thing. Okay. I pity you. You run on the

00:26:39.920 --> 00:26:42.700
ceiling and run to the circle room. And then

00:26:42.700 --> 00:26:47.339
what? You run into the north room? Sure. Okay.

00:26:49.640 --> 00:26:51.920
I turn around to go deal with the big guy who's

00:26:51.920 --> 00:26:54.099
going to be blatantly following us for the rest

00:26:54.099 --> 00:26:56.819
of our excursion in this dungeon. All right,

00:26:56.839 --> 00:26:58.799
let's just roll initiative. Very good. Yeah,

00:26:58.900 --> 00:27:01.019
I mean, he's going to be... What the fuck do

00:27:01.019 --> 00:27:04.799
you want me to do to him, Duke Crystal? Be a

00:27:04.799 --> 00:27:08.119
team player. You were not being a team player,

00:27:08.220 --> 00:27:11.220
sir. How many times have I cleaned up your messes?

00:27:12.000 --> 00:27:18.099
None. I let you use my cat. The one that's dead.

00:27:18.140 --> 00:27:22.079
Roll initiative. It's dead. No, she's not. We're

00:27:22.079 --> 00:27:24.740
saving her. Is she innocent? Is she with us with

00:27:24.740 --> 00:27:35.980
spirit? Let's see. Nineteen. Nine. Fourteen plus

00:27:35.980 --> 00:27:42.480
one. Fifteen. Miss Muffin don't like going first.

00:27:42.819 --> 00:27:47.809
Did you say nine, Kelly? Yeah. 14, 15 for you,

00:27:47.829 --> 00:27:54.309
Duke? Or 19? 19 for me. Okay, he got a 4. Duke,

00:27:54.349 --> 00:27:59.089
you're up first. All right. Rage is a bonus action,

00:27:59.210 --> 00:28:03.470
right? Yes. Okay, well, I will use my action

00:28:03.470 --> 00:28:08.849
to drink a potion of greater healing. That's

00:28:08.849 --> 00:28:11.410
the right one. I was going to say. Yeah, that

00:28:11.410 --> 00:28:13.630
one's in a whole separate compartment in my bag.

00:28:13.849 --> 00:28:19.200
Oh, good. Let's see. That's 4d 6 plus 4 4d 4

00:28:19.200 --> 00:28:45.950
plus 4 All right, and then I will rage Do I have

00:28:45.950 --> 00:28:48.150
to attack on my first as soon as I rage? No,

00:28:48.150 --> 00:28:50.309
I think it's, like, next turn. Okay, yeah, yeah,

00:28:50.410 --> 00:28:57.569
yeah. Then I'll rage this turn. Well, uh... What

00:28:57.569 --> 00:28:59.890
do I need to do here? Because how close are you?

00:29:00.930 --> 00:29:03.049
Were you, like, in the hallway still, or were

00:29:03.049 --> 00:29:06.329
you in the round room? Uh, I'm, like, I'm, like,

00:29:06.329 --> 00:29:08.869
I'm, like, a little bit past the fountain thing,

00:29:09.049 --> 00:29:12.970
I thought. I mean, I can walk forward. I didn't

00:29:12.970 --> 00:29:15.720
use any movement speed, technically. Yeah, because

00:29:15.720 --> 00:29:20.640
you like them. Make... How far is that? Oh, no,

00:29:20.680 --> 00:29:23.759
he's too far. Okay. And then you burst. Fiery

00:29:23.759 --> 00:29:25.759
explosion. You go demon mode. Because you raged,

00:29:25.799 --> 00:29:28.960
so... That's your turn. Glad no one will stand

00:29:28.960 --> 00:29:30.859
next to me. I always forget that. Yeah. Please

00:29:30.859 --> 00:29:33.740
don't talk, Charlie. You're kind of still further

00:29:33.740 --> 00:29:39.319
back in the round room. You're like 30 feet from

00:29:39.319 --> 00:29:47.150
him. From the big guy. okay uh what just happened

00:29:47.150 --> 00:29:50.750
um dude pretty much just drank a potion and raged

00:29:50.750 --> 00:29:52.890
and then the guy came out the door so all right

00:29:52.890 --> 00:29:55.890
is this guy aggressive yeah you're an initiative

00:29:55.890 --> 00:29:58.609
yeah you're fighting okay looks like a from salt

00:29:58.609 --> 00:30:01.109
boss yeah he does he's actually scary as fuck

00:30:01.109 --> 00:30:05.150
all right uh Kelly's on the ceiling. So you see

00:30:05.150 --> 00:30:07.569
Miss Muffin. She's cowering and shaking on the

00:30:07.569 --> 00:30:09.470
ceiling. Miss Muffin wants to help her team and

00:30:09.470 --> 00:30:09.769
her team doesn't abandon her. He's eventually

00:30:09.769 --> 00:30:11.809
going to throw something up there and you're

00:30:11.809 --> 00:30:13.809
going to be cooked. Dude, Crystal just did it

00:30:13.809 --> 00:30:15.890
the wrong way and it was meanie. You act like

00:30:15.890 --> 00:30:17.650
he's a simpleton and he can't get you off the

00:30:17.650 --> 00:30:19.609
ceiling. I think he could if he really wanted

00:30:19.609 --> 00:30:22.410
to. He probably could, but he stuck me out there

00:30:22.410 --> 00:30:25.269
alone so I freaked out. Paranoid and anxiety

00:30:25.269 --> 00:30:28.789
took over. That's not going to be an anxious

00:30:28.789 --> 00:30:32.579
assassin. I don't know if I can stab him. In

00:30:32.579 --> 00:30:35.000
their sleep or not. They might see me. He was

00:30:35.000 --> 00:30:37.200
awake and walking towards me when I was left

00:30:37.200 --> 00:30:39.940
right in front of him. Well, then you need more

00:30:39.940 --> 00:30:46.119
training. You guys are being mean. You touched

00:30:46.119 --> 00:30:51.180
his penis, not me. I did not. Penis toucher.

00:30:51.180 --> 00:30:53.240
This whole episode is belarkey. Tomb Guardian

00:30:53.240 --> 00:30:54.900
penis toucher. You hear me? This whole episode

00:30:54.900 --> 00:30:59.200
is belarkey. I'm not even a part of it. I'm not

00:30:59.200 --> 00:31:01.460
even a part of it. My name is Tristan Hayes and

00:31:01.460 --> 00:31:05.819
I fully consent that this is... I wouldn't do

00:31:05.819 --> 00:31:09.859
a sacred flame on his ass. Sacred flame on his

00:31:09.859 --> 00:31:12.519
ass? Yeah. Okay, give me a sacred flame on his

00:31:12.519 --> 00:31:15.279
ass. Should I do something? Do I have to dex

00:31:15.279 --> 00:31:20.759
it? Yeah, dex it. I get a nat 1. Yeah, balarkey.

00:31:21.319 --> 00:31:24.039
Give me a little bit of double damage. Alright,

00:31:24.119 --> 00:31:29.019
so... A little bit. Give him a lot of it. Alright,

00:31:29.039 --> 00:31:32.640
so five... Oh, wait, sorry, sorry, sorry. Wrong

00:31:32.640 --> 00:31:36.619
die. Yeah, roll the bigger one. Where's the eight?

00:31:36.759 --> 00:31:42.759
Fuck, I'm lost. Is this it? Yeah. Ribbed for

00:31:42.759 --> 00:31:50.380
pleasure. Oh, eight. The master... Master has

00:31:50.380 --> 00:31:53.200
it. It's floating through the air. Knight got

00:31:53.200 --> 00:31:58.119
it. And seven, so eight plus seven, so 15. Oh

00:31:58.119 --> 00:32:02.680
yeah, good shot. This radiating, sacred trash

00:32:02.680 --> 00:32:05.839
poop flies off of him. Yeah. What'd you say?

00:32:05.940 --> 00:32:07.839
Seven and eight? I already forgot, 15? Yeah,

00:32:07.880 --> 00:32:11.579
seven, eight, 15. Okay, yeah, you hit him. All

00:32:11.579 --> 00:32:26.450
right, anything else? Yeah, sacred queef. Alright,

00:32:26.890 --> 00:32:30.690
so I got my bonus action. I'm gonna use my shield.

00:32:31.089 --> 00:32:39.730
My spiritual weapon. Right in his face. Right

00:32:39.730 --> 00:32:43.779
in his big ol' face. Disappears. Fucks him up.

00:32:46.140 --> 00:32:52.000
So... Yeah. It's gonna go for, like, a mega,

00:32:52.059 --> 00:32:55.000
like, headbutt. Just, like, stop him in his track.

00:32:55.039 --> 00:33:02.539
Yeah. So, 18 plus 8. 18 plus 8. Is that fast?

00:33:03.980 --> 00:33:11.500
Yeah, that is. Okay, so... Uh, that's 1d8 plus

00:33:11.500 --> 00:33:18.319
5. Savage. So, 5 plus 5. Okay. On damage. Good

00:33:18.319 --> 00:33:23.400
hits. Very good hits. His health is going down

00:33:23.400 --> 00:33:26.259
quick. His high damage hits. Alright, that's

00:33:26.259 --> 00:33:29.160
you then. Miss Muffin, your turn. You're stuck

00:33:29.160 --> 00:33:30.539
on the ceiling. What do you want to do? Yeah,

00:33:30.579 --> 00:33:32.079
Miss Muffin wants... That's please stick shooting

00:33:32.079 --> 00:33:58.109
fucking magic past your head. Aww. Miss Muffin's

00:33:58.109 --> 00:34:01.009
gonna pull out her dagger of venom and dash up

00:34:01.009 --> 00:34:05.019
and is he wearing a helmet? Yeah, he's wearing

00:34:05.019 --> 00:34:10.460
everything. He's built. So, ideally, is Ms. Smuffin

00:34:10.460 --> 00:34:12.800
able to stay on the ceiling and cut his shoulder

00:34:12.800 --> 00:34:15.699
as she runs past him? I mean, yeah, you would

00:34:15.699 --> 00:34:18.500
have... Technically, you have advantage since

00:34:18.500 --> 00:34:20.539
you're attacking him before he's had his turn.

00:34:21.420 --> 00:34:23.280
But, yeah, you can be on the ceiling and attack

00:34:23.280 --> 00:34:25.980
him. I mean, like, can I reach his shoulder to

00:34:25.980 --> 00:34:27.079
cut his shoulder? Yeah, you definitely can reach

00:34:27.079 --> 00:34:28.659
his shoulder if you get in that hallway because

00:34:28.659 --> 00:34:30.559
it's only a 10 -foot ceiling. So you'd be, like,

00:34:30.579 --> 00:34:34.690
halfway to touching the ground. So how close

00:34:34.690 --> 00:34:37.050
am I to him? Am I able to dash to him, put him,

00:34:37.110 --> 00:34:39.349
and dash away to safety? You can run to him.

00:34:40.829 --> 00:34:44.110
Yes. He's only about 25 feet from you. All right.

00:34:44.170 --> 00:34:47.230
That's my signature dash, slash, and dash. Okay.

00:34:47.289 --> 00:34:51.090
Give me a dash. But here's the picture. My dagger

00:34:51.090 --> 00:34:54.050
of venom. Did I say that part? You can't use

00:34:54.050 --> 00:34:56.409
the venom, though. Why? Because you used it on

00:34:56.409 --> 00:34:58.789
the skeletons. Remember, it's only like once.

00:35:00.699 --> 00:35:05.900
Per day or we have a shirt rest Oh You can still

00:35:05.900 --> 00:35:07.920
use the dagger, but you just can't do the venom

00:35:07.920 --> 00:35:10.579
part. It's like the poisoning part. That's fine.

00:35:10.820 --> 00:35:16.920
Yeah, you can still stab him with it 16 plus

00:35:16.920 --> 00:35:22.420
8 to hit him High rolls today good thing cuz

00:35:22.420 --> 00:35:29.500
he's eight damage So basically sliced his shoulder

00:35:29.500 --> 00:35:32.780
muscle. He can't move his arm now. No, now you're

00:35:32.780 --> 00:35:35.199
just in his face and cut his shoulder. He's like...

00:35:35.199 --> 00:35:39.579
Okay, so you use 25 movement speed. What's your

00:35:39.579 --> 00:35:43.500
movement speed left? You're going to disengage

00:35:43.500 --> 00:35:46.340
it? That's what I do. Hit him, disengage, move

00:35:46.340 --> 00:35:48.440
five foot away. Disengage, move five foot away.

00:35:48.500 --> 00:35:50.480
Now you're out of his swinging range, I think.

00:35:52.279 --> 00:35:55.400
So he can't target you as a reaction from you

00:35:55.400 --> 00:35:57.599
hitting him. He would have to, on his turn, directly

00:35:57.599 --> 00:36:01.000
like... But you're not far from him. Laying down

00:36:01.000 --> 00:36:06.440
would be an action. I think... I don't know.

00:36:07.019 --> 00:36:10.719
If she laid down on the ceiling, it might be

00:36:10.719 --> 00:36:12.880
hard for him to reach her with a sword. But I

00:36:12.880 --> 00:36:14.880
think the thing with spider climbing is it has

00:36:14.880 --> 00:36:17.539
to be feet flat down, like crouched maybe, but

00:36:17.539 --> 00:36:19.710
that's about it. I'd say he's probably gonna

00:36:19.710 --> 00:36:21.329
have, like, disadvantage trying to smack you

00:36:21.329 --> 00:36:23.570
in the ceiling. But, like... Probably. Yeah.

00:36:24.489 --> 00:36:27.190
I didn't know she could minimalize how easy he

00:36:27.190 --> 00:36:29.010
could hit her. I mean, you hit him. You did decent

00:36:29.010 --> 00:36:33.030
damage. But now it's his turn. So, let me see

00:36:33.030 --> 00:36:35.909
exactly what he can do here. Nothing. A lot.

00:36:36.650 --> 00:36:43.510
I bet he's got magic and shit, too. Did you say

00:36:43.510 --> 00:36:48.300
73 looked? No. I was looking. No. I was like,

00:36:48.420 --> 00:36:52.119
he's got 73 health left. He's only got two. You

00:36:52.119 --> 00:37:00.239
might be lying, he's covering it up. I'm sure

00:37:00.239 --> 00:37:04.320
he's probably got over 100 health. How dare you.

00:37:05.179 --> 00:37:06.760
How much do we hit him? It doesn't hit him a

00:37:06.760 --> 00:37:09.409
lot. You each did like 10. You did 10 twice or

00:37:09.409 --> 00:37:11.289
something. Well, he did 15. She did like 10.

00:37:11.289 --> 00:37:13.929
I did 15. I did it. I'm about to fucking... I'm

00:37:13.929 --> 00:37:15.929
about to wreck his world. Okay, so he actually

00:37:15.929 --> 00:37:19.829
only has multi -attack. And it's a slam. He's

00:37:19.829 --> 00:37:21.670
got these chains on him, so he's going to slam.

00:37:21.710 --> 00:37:24.030
I don't like multis. They fucking hurt bad. So,

00:37:24.030 --> 00:37:26.570
he's going to try to hit you, Miss Muffin, with

00:37:26.570 --> 00:37:29.710
the multi -attack. First one. Disadvantage. Disadvantage.

00:37:29.909 --> 00:37:32.110
He's on this. Thank goodness he's on this advantage.

00:37:32.110 --> 00:37:34.679
Because I'm on this advantage. But he gets like

00:37:34.679 --> 00:37:36.820
three attacks. He misses. He got like a three

00:37:36.820 --> 00:37:40.780
plus... So does he have to land the first one

00:37:40.780 --> 00:37:43.739
to continue the flurry, or does he get to whiff

00:37:43.739 --> 00:37:47.460
three? I think he gets to do them no matter what.

00:37:47.559 --> 00:37:50.159
Oof. So he's going to take his second one. Disadvantage.

00:37:52.000 --> 00:37:54.059
Fuck, he got the same one. Well, that was a four.

00:37:54.099 --> 00:37:58.579
It was a four plus seven. Yeah, now we're back

00:37:58.579 --> 00:38:00.239
to the top of the round. Do Crystal. Plus seven,

00:38:00.340 --> 00:38:03.139
you said. Holy fuck. Okay, uh... You got Miss

00:38:03.139 --> 00:38:07.239
Muppet. Dodging fucking fists. That's just trying

00:38:07.239 --> 00:38:09.880
to slam her into the ceiling. Oh, dirty. So now

00:38:09.880 --> 00:38:12.659
he's, like, ten foot from you, kind of. Is she,

00:38:12.699 --> 00:38:15.280
like, directly above him on the ceiling? Five

00:38:15.280 --> 00:38:18.719
feet from him. But at the ten foot height level.

00:38:18.900 --> 00:38:21.139
Yeah, she's up on the ceiling. So if you walk

00:38:21.139 --> 00:38:23.179
in, it's gonna be, like, you guys are, like,

00:38:23.179 --> 00:38:24.900
heads are, like, touching on top of each other.

00:38:25.639 --> 00:38:28.099
You know what I mean? Because she's upside down.

00:38:28.159 --> 00:38:30.960
She's also kind of short. So if I use my lightning

00:38:30.960 --> 00:38:34.000
bolt, I'll probably have to aim at his dick to

00:38:34.000 --> 00:38:36.300
avoid blasting her with the five foot radius

00:38:36.300 --> 00:38:39.179
of it. What is the save for the lightning bolt?

00:38:41.940 --> 00:38:46.139
Deck save. So what I'll say is if you throw it

00:38:46.139 --> 00:38:48.539
through there, I'll give her advantage on the

00:38:48.539 --> 00:38:51.809
save. upside down and kind of out of the way

00:38:51.809 --> 00:38:53.909
let's say because it is 100 foot long by five

00:38:53.909 --> 00:38:57.150
foot diameter so i figured well no i guess if

00:38:57.150 --> 00:39:00.210
i aim it as dick it'll stop it about his neck

00:39:00.210 --> 00:39:02.190
or head she's on the ceiling so that would make

00:39:02.190 --> 00:39:03.929
her about five foot above it well that's why

00:39:03.929 --> 00:39:06.230
i figured i can get it right above her head so

00:39:06.230 --> 00:39:09.210
yeah it's gonna be a wanted slow -mo like lightning

00:39:09.210 --> 00:39:12.610
bolt flies over grazes the top of miss muffin's

00:39:12.610 --> 00:39:15.929
head i mean can he even deck save in a hallway

00:39:15.929 --> 00:39:18.559
that is five foot fucking wide. He's going to

00:39:18.559 --> 00:39:21.199
have a pretty bad time. I mean, where's he going

00:39:21.199 --> 00:39:23.699
to go? It's like in a car. Let's just say this.

00:39:23.880 --> 00:39:26.639
Sacred Flame is one of those ones where it's

00:39:26.639 --> 00:39:28.659
like they have decks that are good. If their

00:39:28.659 --> 00:39:30.860
decks are bad, they fail. He failed against the

00:39:30.860 --> 00:39:34.559
Sacred Flame. That's true. His decks ain't great.

00:39:34.619 --> 00:39:36.559
He's eating this either way. It was a matter

00:39:36.559 --> 00:39:39.739
of half or full. I can't remember what the save

00:39:39.739 --> 00:39:43.340
is though. I'll have to check real quick. It's

00:39:43.340 --> 00:39:46.480
13 because that's my spell DC save. All right.

00:39:47.699 --> 00:39:53.500
All righty. So, deck's safe? Yes. I hope he's

00:39:53.500 --> 00:39:57.960
weak to lightning. He got an F1. Okay, so he's

00:39:57.960 --> 00:40:00.440
taking half damage, I guess. Yeah. All right.

00:40:00.659 --> 00:40:09.000
What a fucking rant. Yeah, I thought so. Five.

00:40:09.880 --> 00:40:22.559
Five, ten. Eleven. Sixteen. 18, 19, 24, 25 haft.

00:40:22.860 --> 00:40:26.719
So we'll just say, wanna round it down or up?

00:40:26.780 --> 00:40:30.840
12 or 13. I'm gonna be honest with you, buddy.

00:40:31.340 --> 00:40:34.880
It doesn't matter. So this lightning bolt flies,

00:40:34.980 --> 00:40:37.840
it strikes him right in the chest and you see

00:40:37.840 --> 00:40:39.320
this lightning bolt kind of hit him and it's

00:40:39.320 --> 00:40:42.659
just like, like absorbs inside of him and you

00:40:42.659 --> 00:40:45.789
see him literally absorb the lightning. And what

00:40:45.789 --> 00:40:49.769
was it? 15? Mm -hmm. He heals 15 health. Hmm.

00:40:50.409 --> 00:40:52.789
And where did he suck it into? Like his chest.

00:40:52.789 --> 00:40:54.909
It just kind of like lightning. So it healed

00:40:54.909 --> 00:40:56.989
him? Lightning just kind of absorbed it. Yeah,

00:40:56.989 --> 00:40:59.570
it healed him for 15 health. I'm glad I didn't

00:40:59.570 --> 00:41:03.489
roll very good. Okay. Okay. Well, with my extra

00:41:03.489 --> 00:41:06.329
attack, I'm going to ram my fucking greatsword

00:41:06.329 --> 00:41:09.989
all the way into that chest piece. Okay. As deep

00:41:09.989 --> 00:41:12.010
as fucking possible. The little absorbing hole?

00:41:12.150 --> 00:41:15.670
Yes, right in his pussy. His chest pussy. His

00:41:15.670 --> 00:41:18.090
chussy. His chussy. Give him the chussy. Right

00:41:18.090 --> 00:41:23.849
in his lightning chussy. All right. You know

00:41:23.849 --> 00:41:29.559
what? Let's make that a reckless one. Okay. I

00:41:29.559 --> 00:41:31.340
don't think we'll need it. I mean, that's a...

00:41:31.340 --> 00:41:35.039
That's a 14 plus 9. We will fucking throw another

00:41:35.039 --> 00:41:39.380
one. Ooh, 18 plus 9. Yeah, that hits. Yeah, it

00:41:39.380 --> 00:41:45.199
hits. Good. Okay. 1D8 plus 6. Fucking... Man.

00:41:46.019 --> 00:41:50.119
That is 1 plus 6. 7. 7 to his fucking chissy.

00:41:50.460 --> 00:41:55.559
7 to the chissy. Damn, that ain't enough. Alright.

00:41:55.980 --> 00:41:58.460
I'm gonna give him a Constitution table, okay?

00:41:58.920 --> 00:42:02.460
All right, he basks. Being pushed in is juicy.

00:42:02.840 --> 00:42:03.800
Being pushed into the absorb hole with a sword.

00:42:05.139 --> 00:42:09.019
Okay. Next up, you're done, right? That was your

00:42:09.019 --> 00:42:10.699
bonus? Yep, that was all. Okay, flea stick, your

00:42:10.699 --> 00:42:13.639
turn. He's now in the door, like almost to the

00:42:13.639 --> 00:42:16.599
doorway. You just saw lightning flash and absorb

00:42:16.599 --> 00:42:19.559
it. Does the flying have a connection to him?

00:42:19.719 --> 00:42:23.139
It's a scrying pool to see through. So if I hurt

00:42:23.139 --> 00:42:24.960
the flying, it's not going to hurt him? No. I

00:42:24.960 --> 00:42:28.280
mean, you wouldn't know. All right. Can't save.

00:42:29.139 --> 00:42:33.280
Ooh, 17 minus 1. Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait,

00:42:33.280 --> 00:42:38.639
wait. Yeah, minus 1. All right. Uh, my index

00:42:38.639 --> 00:42:43.019
was 16. So... That's how he passes. Yeah. All

00:42:43.019 --> 00:42:48.179
right, so, uh... My spiritual weapon. All right.

00:42:49.000 --> 00:42:58.880
Sure that'll hit. Ooh, 6 plus 8. No. That one

00:42:58.880 --> 00:43:01.300
will not. It did ruin my plan earlier. Because

00:43:01.300 --> 00:43:03.099
I was going to throw a lightning javelin at him

00:43:03.099 --> 00:43:05.679
immediately after. But it was like, nope. Not

00:43:05.679 --> 00:43:07.239
doing that. All right, Ms. Muffin, it's your

00:43:07.239 --> 00:43:09.119
turn. It's face to face. Lightning bolt flew

00:43:09.119 --> 00:43:11.619
past your head and he absorbed it. Yep. Took

00:43:11.619 --> 00:43:14.420
a sword to the chissy and took it. Yeah, you

00:43:14.420 --> 00:43:17.039
see Duke stabbing his chissy. You guys are like

00:43:17.039 --> 00:43:18.840
head to head now. Like heads are touching each

00:43:18.840 --> 00:43:23.980
other. I'm going to run my ass back across the

00:43:23.980 --> 00:43:27.389
ceiling for five feet. To him? No, he's to you

00:43:27.389 --> 00:43:29.670
now. Oh, he's right to me? Yeah, he ran up and

00:43:29.670 --> 00:43:32.050
tried to hit you earlier, but then he missed

00:43:32.050 --> 00:43:34.230
both, and then Duke attacked him. So now you

00:43:34.230 --> 00:43:36.610
and Duke are like... He probably turned to face

00:43:36.610 --> 00:43:40.199
me, but you're still like right above him. You

00:43:40.199 --> 00:43:42.239
both are like, yeah. So if I reach out, I can

00:43:42.239 --> 00:43:45.059
touch him? Like, what? You can just fucking tickle

00:43:45.059 --> 00:43:48.199
his little cheek if you want right now. No, I'm

00:43:48.199 --> 00:43:51.679
gonna... What kind of armor? Explain it again.

00:43:51.960 --> 00:43:53.780
What kind of armor? Heavy, big armor. Like, lots

00:43:53.780 --> 00:43:55.679
of armor. I mean, imagine you're on the ceiling

00:43:55.679 --> 00:43:57.559
and your heads are like this. Okay, but I'm...

00:43:57.559 --> 00:44:02.519
Look at it. Here. This is it. That's not me.

00:44:02.519 --> 00:44:04.679
My little dagger can't get past it. Does he have

00:44:04.679 --> 00:44:07.179
a hole in his faceplate? There's a little hole

00:44:07.179 --> 00:44:09.329
right in the middle. Put it in there. I'm going

00:44:09.329 --> 00:44:11.909
to dagger him into the eye slit of his helmet.

00:44:12.010 --> 00:44:14.750
Okay. His fussy. Yeah, his fussy now. His fassy.

00:44:14.809 --> 00:44:16.610
It actually kind of looks like a... Look at this.

00:44:17.389 --> 00:44:22.190
Now it does make sense when you say fussy. 17.

00:44:22.550 --> 00:44:25.230
Oh, that's for sure a fussy. It's a fussy. 17.

00:44:25.309 --> 00:44:30.230
17 to dagger his eye. No, his fussy. His fussy.

00:44:30.230 --> 00:44:31.909
Yes, you get... Because it's in the middle. Yes,

00:44:31.929 --> 00:44:35.030
you get his fussy. Is he a Cyclops? I don't know.

00:44:35.030 --> 00:44:37.139
I think he's like... Where's his cross? I think

00:44:37.139 --> 00:44:40.380
it's like knights. A knight. 10 damage. Oh. 10

00:44:40.380 --> 00:44:44.300
damage? Hey, you did a big one again. Okay. Anything

00:44:44.300 --> 00:44:47.619
else? You gonna disengage and run? No, I'm gonna

00:44:47.619 --> 00:44:49.619
use my offhand dagger to get the other fussy!

00:44:51.079 --> 00:44:53.139
He's only got one fussy. Oh, he's got one in

00:44:53.139 --> 00:44:57.679
the back. He's got a back fussy. 19 plus 4 to

00:44:57.679 --> 00:45:00.119
hit. Yes. We discovered he's got a hole in his

00:45:00.119 --> 00:45:04.170
helmet that looks like a fussy. 11 damage. 11

00:45:04.170 --> 00:45:08.590
damage. Damn. Okay. Good deal. Good deal. Alright.

00:45:09.429 --> 00:45:11.849
How's his turn? Now he's blind. That's not good.

00:45:12.949 --> 00:45:16.769
Alright. He's blind now. He can't see. Oh, he's

00:45:16.769 --> 00:45:18.630
definitely can see. I stabbed him in his fussies

00:45:18.630 --> 00:45:21.170
with so much damage. He's blind. He's gonna do

00:45:21.170 --> 00:45:23.469
his slam attacks. He's got safety glasses on.

00:45:23.840 --> 00:45:26.239
No, he doesn't. He's going to try to hit you,

00:45:26.340 --> 00:45:28.619
Miss Muffin. That's a fucking two plus seven.

00:45:28.699 --> 00:45:29.539
Yeah, because he can't see. He's going to try

00:45:29.539 --> 00:45:31.420
to hit you, Duke, with the other fist. He's going

00:45:31.420 --> 00:45:34.380
to swing a chain up, multi -attack back at the

00:45:34.380 --> 00:45:35.739
one at the bottom. Since when is that allowed?

00:45:38.320 --> 00:45:40.780
Nineteen plus seven. Since when the fuck is that

00:45:40.780 --> 00:45:42.840
allowed for him to just be like, I'll just fucking.

00:45:43.039 --> 00:45:45.219
It's a disadvantage. I don't know, maybe. He

00:45:45.219 --> 00:45:47.179
might be able to. I've never heard of it, but

00:45:47.179 --> 00:45:50.440
I guess it's possible. I'll take it. How much

00:45:50.440 --> 00:45:51.400
damage is it? I don't know. I'm going to have

00:45:51.400 --> 00:45:55.440
to look into that one. Because actually, it doesn't

00:45:55.440 --> 00:45:57.280
do much. That would be super cheese if you surrounded

00:45:57.280 --> 00:46:00.679
it. You'd just be like, you, you, you. What the

00:46:00.679 --> 00:46:04.340
fuck? I'll be honest. I think it is just one

00:46:04.340 --> 00:46:06.679
person. Because multi -attack happens all at

00:46:06.679 --> 00:46:08.460
once. It's already cheese enough that he gets

00:46:08.460 --> 00:46:11.019
to hit more than once. So, yeah, it would be

00:46:11.019 --> 00:46:13.480
at you, Kelly. Missed nothing. It's all right.

00:46:13.880 --> 00:46:15.619
Technicalities. Okay, but you have to roll at

00:46:15.619 --> 00:46:17.500
disadvantage. I'm on the ceiling and you can't

00:46:17.500 --> 00:46:19.929
see. Okay, you're right. You're right. So you

00:46:19.929 --> 00:46:23.510
got a 14 plus 7. Wait, he's blind? That's rude.

00:46:23.969 --> 00:46:32.730
That one hit. Okay. 8. But wait, aw, shit, uncanny

00:46:32.730 --> 00:46:35.989
dodge. You can uncanny dodge one of them, I think,

00:46:36.030 --> 00:46:37.489
isn't that what it is? I thought you only hit

00:46:37.489 --> 00:46:40.190
with one. Oh, yeah, yeah, you can uncanny dodge

00:46:40.190 --> 00:46:42.969
it. Sorry. What does that do, half it or something?

00:46:43.389 --> 00:46:47.289
Yeah. Okay, so I rolled max damage, so it's 8

00:46:47.289 --> 00:46:54.130
plus 8. Plus four. Sixteen plus four? Yes. Put

00:46:54.130 --> 00:46:58.329
half of it, so ten damage. Yeah. Yeah, I love

00:46:58.329 --> 00:47:01.190
you, but I can't even... I almost forgot to say

00:47:01.190 --> 00:47:03.389
it. I was like, say it out loud, not your head!

00:47:04.610 --> 00:47:37.500
Rehash. Okay, that's his turn. I suppose I will

00:47:37.500 --> 00:47:41.639
continue to sword that fool in his chussy. So

00:47:41.639 --> 00:47:44.159
I got a fool in his chussy, man, if I can. What's

00:47:44.159 --> 00:47:46.500
the chussy? The chussy is the hole where he absorbed

00:47:46.500 --> 00:47:49.940
his lightning spear. Why are there so many names

00:47:49.940 --> 00:47:51.420
like this? Well, it was more like he hit him

00:47:51.420 --> 00:47:53.639
in the chest with a spear and it fucking, or

00:47:53.639 --> 00:47:55.199
he hit him with a spear and it fucking just,

00:47:55.239 --> 00:47:57.699
he was like, absorbed it. So that's what he does.

00:47:57.760 --> 00:48:04.980
His body absorbs it. He's not nice. We'll call

00:48:04.980 --> 00:48:09.099
this one a reckless one. Oh, that'll do it. 19

00:48:09.099 --> 00:48:14.739
plus 8 again. 19 plus 8? Yes. Yeah. What the

00:48:14.739 --> 00:48:19.000
fuck? 1 plus 6 again. What's happening? Why are

00:48:19.000 --> 00:48:23.559
they hitting so hard? Well, second attack. Do

00:48:23.559 --> 00:48:28.000
you got beans in your butt? That is 14 plus 9.

00:48:28.260 --> 00:48:33.590
I'm sure that's a hit. That is 3 plus 6. Three

00:48:33.590 --> 00:48:39.710
plus six? It's not a one. All right. Good deal.

00:48:39.829 --> 00:48:42.190
All right, Miss Muffin, your turn again. What?

00:48:42.530 --> 00:48:45.110
Yeah. What about flea steak? Oh, flea steak,

00:48:45.170 --> 00:48:48.329
your turn again. Sorry. I meant to say you. I

00:48:48.329 --> 00:48:50.829
guess I'm sacred quite a bit again. All right.

00:48:51.530 --> 00:48:58.369
Sacredita flima. Seven minus one. No. All right.

00:48:58.769 --> 00:49:11.949
Give me damage. Spicy pepper flame. Seven plus

00:49:11.949 --> 00:49:23.150
four. So 11 damage. Okay. All right. Now my spiritual

00:49:23.150 --> 00:49:28.949
weapon is going to hit, hopefully, 15 plus eight,

00:49:29.010 --> 00:49:35.309
I'm sure. That'll do it. So 1d8 of damage. Or

00:49:35.309 --> 00:49:40.510
1d8 plus 5, I'm sorry. So 7 plus 5... What is

00:49:40.510 --> 00:49:48.269
it? 12. Alright. You're seeing this thing weakened.

00:49:48.449 --> 00:49:51.329
He's really hurting. Armor's starting to break

00:49:51.329 --> 00:49:54.710
shit off. Starts falling off. It's his turn,

00:49:54.750 --> 00:49:56.210
so he's going to get one more desperate slam.

00:49:56.449 --> 00:49:58.429
It's going to go for you this time, dude. Go

00:49:58.429 --> 00:50:00.590
ahead, fuck him. Roll with disadvantage because

00:50:00.590 --> 00:50:02.409
he still can't see. 12 plus 7 on the first one.

00:50:03.389 --> 00:50:05.369
No, you gotta roll with disadvantage. 11 plus

00:50:05.369 --> 00:50:08.809
7 on the second one. He can see, you dog. I stabbed

00:50:08.809 --> 00:50:14.989
his eye. That one's a hit, too. Okay. 4, 5, 5,

00:50:15.070 --> 00:50:20.550
4, plus 4. 9 plus 4, 13. Halfed, because I'm

00:50:20.550 --> 00:50:23.110
in rage. It's physical. Yeah, physical damage.

00:50:23.269 --> 00:50:25.670
So, what do you want to call it? Round up? Yeah,

00:50:25.670 --> 00:50:27.670
sure. Now I'll roll damage for the next one.

00:50:28.230 --> 00:50:33.650
7 damage. First attack. Alright, you got four

00:50:33.650 --> 00:50:37.809
again, and one plus four, so five plus four for

00:50:37.809 --> 00:50:40.989
the second attack. Five plus four for the second

00:50:40.989 --> 00:50:44.570
attack? Yeah. Okay. And half that, so round over

00:50:44.570 --> 00:50:49.869
here. Okay. Okay. Finally, he hit some shit.

00:50:50.929 --> 00:50:54.150
But it's back to you. His chains are, like, getting

00:50:54.150 --> 00:50:58.610
loose, hanging off his arms. Really? Really?

00:50:59.949 --> 00:51:04.059
Really? Well, I'm going to attempt to stick my

00:51:04.059 --> 00:51:08.179
Greek sword in his fussy this time. Give him

00:51:08.179 --> 00:51:15.119
the fussy. Not in my fussy. Let's see. That is

00:51:15.119 --> 00:51:21.500
a 14. Total? Yes. That one won't hit. Okay, next

00:51:21.500 --> 00:51:25.300
one. We're going to do reckless on that one.

00:51:26.960 --> 00:51:29.739
That was a pretty reckless decision. Yeah, yeah,

00:51:29.760 --> 00:51:35.539
yeah. Let's see. How is a 16? Nope. What the

00:51:35.539 --> 00:51:38.500
shit? Fuck him. All right. You can fuck off.

00:51:38.539 --> 00:51:41.179
Uh, flea stick. It's up to you. You know what's

00:51:41.179 --> 00:51:45.219
up. All right. Learned his weakness. Oh, 19 minus

00:51:45.219 --> 00:51:49.719
1. Oh, I don't know. I'm just kidding. You're

00:51:49.719 --> 00:51:56.719
good. All right. Let's pitch a weapon. 19 plus

00:51:56.719 --> 00:52:04.340
8, something. Yeah. Yeah Six plus five eleven

00:52:04.340 --> 00:52:08.719
your shield beats this armor down. He's just

00:52:08.719 --> 00:52:12.119
You're seeing the helmet like caving in like

00:52:12.119 --> 00:52:13.820
the insides of them are just kind of like turning

00:52:13.820 --> 00:52:16.639
the bush and the ground, you know Yeah, it's

00:52:16.639 --> 00:52:28.050
a big hell. That's useless Okay Fuck, we should

00:52:28.050 --> 00:52:29.869
have XP from all the other shit we just did.

00:52:29.929 --> 00:52:32.789
Yeah, you will. I've been kind of gathering it

00:52:32.789 --> 00:52:39.969
from this dungeon. So, yes, he falls. Now, what

00:52:39.969 --> 00:52:43.489
would you like to do? I want to investigate his

00:52:43.489 --> 00:52:47.250
potty. I want to raid him. His potty. I want

00:52:47.250 --> 00:52:50.489
to raid him. Give me an investigation check.

00:52:50.809 --> 00:52:55.670
I'm going to stick my hand in his juicy. It's

00:52:55.670 --> 00:53:01.760
wet. What do you have? 20 -some. Nat 20? Yep.

00:53:01.900 --> 00:53:07.840
Okay, hang on a minute. He came. I came. He touched

00:53:07.840 --> 00:53:11.500
his chussy too good. His corpse quivers in ecstasy.

00:53:15.300 --> 00:53:29.280
Roll me a... D100. Ooh. Is that it? We were rolling

00:53:29.280 --> 00:53:33.699
that big bad boy? Yeah, you can. Oh, okay. I

00:53:33.699 --> 00:53:35.260
was going to say, I don't want to do it. I want

00:53:35.260 --> 00:53:39.699
to roll the big one. Oh, did you hear that? You

00:53:39.699 --> 00:53:50.300
heard that crowd, right? Peeps. 47. That was

00:53:50.300 --> 00:53:54.739
Ryan's football number. Really? Did we all roll

00:53:54.739 --> 00:53:58.760
it? No, just Ryan. Aw. He was one search in the

00:53:58.760 --> 00:54:00.659
body. This is what he finds on the body. Oh,

00:54:00.659 --> 00:54:04.960
okay. So you find another horn. You're just good

00:54:04.960 --> 00:54:08.380
at finding horns. This is the Horn of Valhalla.

00:54:09.559 --> 00:54:12.820
So you can take a magic action to blow this horn.

00:54:12.940 --> 00:54:15.179
In response, warrior spirits from the plain of

00:54:15.179 --> 00:54:18.579
Ysgard appear in an unoccupied space within 60

00:54:18.579 --> 00:54:21.800
feet of you. Each spirit uses the Berserker stat

00:54:21.800 --> 00:54:24.639
block and returns to Ysgard after one hour or

00:54:24.639 --> 00:54:28.599
when it drops to zero hit points. Damn. Okay.

00:54:29.019 --> 00:54:32.980
Hold. Okay, hang on, hang on. Yeah, you're...

00:54:32.980 --> 00:54:44.300
No, roll me another D100, actually. Eleven. Eleven?

00:54:44.480 --> 00:54:48.219
So this is a silver horn. Um, it doesn't require

00:54:48.219 --> 00:54:50.860
any requirements. Okay, good. So, yeah. Alright,

00:54:50.980 --> 00:54:55.199
so two horns. You got horn of Valhalla. He's

00:54:55.199 --> 00:54:56.989
over there collecting all kinds of horns. You

00:54:56.989 --> 00:54:59.809
got the horn of blasting or something too? Yeah.

00:55:01.309 --> 00:55:08.449
Is it a legacy? I don't know. Whichever. Alright.

00:55:09.110 --> 00:55:17.769
Alright. And a silver horn? It's the silver horn

00:55:17.769 --> 00:55:21.650
is what it is. The horn of Valhalla is the silver

00:55:21.650 --> 00:55:25.039
horn. Oh. Yeah. I thought I got two. I rolled

00:55:25.039 --> 00:55:27.440
one. I rolled twice. It was which type of horn

00:55:27.440 --> 00:55:30.340
it was. Eww. Gotcha. All right. So what would

00:55:30.340 --> 00:55:33.860
you guys like to do? Go west or go north? Least.

00:55:37.019 --> 00:55:38.960
Whichever direction the dude was coming from.

00:55:39.260 --> 00:55:41.599
He was coming from the west. I'll go that way.

00:55:41.699 --> 00:55:45.059
Okay. I'll follow. All right. Open it and it

00:55:45.059 --> 00:55:48.719
looks like an office. Open the door. I'll rummage

00:55:48.719 --> 00:55:51.789
it. I'm on the ceiling still. Rummage. You're

00:55:51.789 --> 00:55:56.510
just crawling through the ceiling, okay? So yeah,

00:55:56.630 --> 00:55:59.769
as you kind of walk in, candles dimly illuminate

00:55:59.769 --> 00:56:06.090
a cluttered office. A skeletal songbird rasps

00:56:06.090 --> 00:56:10.250
at you from a filthy cage in one corner. The

00:56:10.250 --> 00:56:12.309
other furnishing including a wooden writing desk

00:56:12.309 --> 00:56:16.309
and a tall black chair. Anatomical drawings sketched

00:56:16.309 --> 00:56:18.190
in charcoal hang on all the walls behind the

00:56:18.190 --> 00:56:21.460
desks. Seated in the chair, It's the shriveled

00:56:21.460 --> 00:56:23.820
corpse of a humanoid wearing moldy robes and

00:56:23.820 --> 00:56:26.679
a bronze mask, sculpted to look like a frowning

00:56:26.679 --> 00:56:29.760
visage. Around the figure's neck hangs a black

00:56:29.760 --> 00:56:32.280
skull -shaped amulet and a number of severed

00:56:32.280 --> 00:56:35.039
hands crawl on the desk and floor around him.

00:56:35.199 --> 00:56:38.019
It's just like little hands, just like... Like

00:56:38.019 --> 00:56:41.340
Thane? Yes, like Thane. Okay, that's fucking

00:56:41.340 --> 00:56:45.300
creepy. They don't seem to like notice you or

00:56:45.300 --> 00:56:46.880
like paying attention to you, but they're just

00:56:46.880 --> 00:56:49.280
kind of like moving around him. They will when

00:56:49.280 --> 00:56:56.639
I take that mask and amulet. We're going to say

00:56:56.639 --> 00:56:59.619
I'm probably out of rage right now, right? Can

00:56:59.619 --> 00:57:01.820
I just scoop them all up on my spiritual level?

00:57:02.300 --> 00:57:05.519
Wait, the hands technically are dead, so just

00:57:05.519 --> 00:57:08.400
your undead thingy. Yeah, can I turn the undead?

00:57:09.639 --> 00:57:15.090
Is that considered undead? Is that considered

00:57:15.090 --> 00:57:17.949
undead? Yeah, I think they're undead, but...

00:57:17.949 --> 00:57:20.949
I don't see what happened. Sorry. You had to

00:57:20.949 --> 00:57:23.130
put some timber in. All right, let me see if

00:57:23.130 --> 00:57:25.949
I even have that. Yeah, so, okay, sorry. Go ahead.

00:57:26.010 --> 00:57:27.869
I was just reading on what happens to this guy.

00:57:27.909 --> 00:57:30.750
So what are you going to do? I'm going to turn

00:57:30.750 --> 00:57:32.949
them bitches. Well, I grabbed the amulet and

00:57:32.949 --> 00:57:36.150
mask. Okay, as you reach out and grab it, he

00:57:36.150 --> 00:57:38.030
kind of, like, wakes up and looks at you and

00:57:38.030 --> 00:57:42.440
he goes, What are you doing here? I don't be...

00:57:42.440 --> 00:57:47.159
He's gonna take your shit. Take my shit. Do you

00:57:47.159 --> 00:57:49.579
know who I am? No. I punch him in the fucking

00:57:49.579 --> 00:57:52.340
face really fucking hard. You see where the hands

00:57:52.340 --> 00:57:54.599
come running up and just like lower you back

00:57:54.599 --> 00:57:56.519
down. He goes, we're gonna be calm, friends.

00:57:57.119 --> 00:57:59.420
Destroyer. Because in this place, you're not

00:57:59.420 --> 00:58:02.440
in control. I'm not in control. He goes, I am

00:58:02.440 --> 00:58:05.320
the Withers. Withers, you've probably heard of

00:58:05.320 --> 00:58:09.050
my work. Fuck. And he... These hands kind of

00:58:09.050 --> 00:58:10.469
crawl around. They're, like, pointing at all

00:58:10.469 --> 00:58:12.190
of his, like, stuff on his desk as he's talking

00:58:12.190 --> 00:58:15.710
about his work. Fuck Willis. He goes, uh... Fuck.

00:58:15.730 --> 00:58:21.429
He says, um... So, what are you doing here? That's

00:58:21.429 --> 00:58:23.070
none of your motherfucking business. Destroy

00:58:23.070 --> 00:58:26.250
Undead. Destroy Undead? Is that what you're doing?

00:58:26.369 --> 00:58:29.250
Are you casting that in secret? It might work

00:58:29.250 --> 00:58:31.130
on... I don't know. I think it's, like, critical.

00:58:31.130 --> 00:58:32.750
Just do it. What do we want to do in the background?

00:58:34.110 --> 00:58:39.119
Uh... At fifth level? Fifth? Oh, fuck. It kills

00:58:39.119 --> 00:58:41.300
things at 5th level, or does it say it kills...

00:58:41.300 --> 00:58:44.340
At 5th level, when an undead fails its saving

00:58:44.340 --> 00:58:47.099
throw against your turn, undead creature is instantly

00:58:47.099 --> 00:58:51.219
destroyed if it's a CR or half or lower. Yeah.

00:58:52.679 --> 00:58:55.260
Half? That's like nothing. That's like skeletons

00:58:55.260 --> 00:58:58.719
and shit. Okay. Sorry, crowd. Never mind. Sorry,

00:58:58.760 --> 00:59:01.500
crowd. He decided against it. He calmed the magic.

00:59:03.119 --> 00:59:06.179
Yeah, he wants to know. You're just going to

00:59:06.179 --> 00:59:08.250
tell him none of your business? Well, what are

00:59:08.250 --> 00:59:12.190
you doing here? I'm trapped here. Why? My ass

00:59:12.190 --> 00:59:14.889
-a -rack. I'm loyal to him. The ass -a -rack.

00:59:15.730 --> 00:59:18.750
How much damage does my explosion pop for off

00:59:18.750 --> 00:59:22.429
my rage? Not a lot. Damn. It's like a D8, maybe.

00:59:22.550 --> 00:59:25.110
It's the only ALE I got. It's a demon. Why are

00:59:25.110 --> 00:59:28.090
you trapped here, though? I'm doing work. I'm

00:59:28.090 --> 00:59:33.210
studying. For? My things. What things? Answer

00:59:33.210 --> 00:59:42.460
more openly. Listen, I am here to make creatures.

00:59:43.739 --> 00:59:47.739
I don't care about the beings of what you do

00:59:47.739 --> 00:59:50.260
in life and what you care to do in your life.

00:59:50.300 --> 00:59:52.639
It's all up to you and your decisions. Did he

00:59:52.639 --> 01:00:01.739
say beings? Beings. Beings. Beings. So, I strongly

01:00:01.739 --> 01:00:04.780
advise you to leave this place before you're

01:00:04.780 --> 01:00:08.840
trapped in this place. I'm trapped. I've been

01:00:08.840 --> 01:00:14.940
live for so long. Yes, but I'm trapped here now.

01:00:15.539 --> 01:00:19.679
So I advise you to get out. But be careful. If

01:00:19.679 --> 01:00:24.119
you go to the room to the north here, it's full

01:00:24.119 --> 01:00:28.599
of angry, shitty little dwarfs. Little tomb dwarfs.

01:00:28.980 --> 01:00:32.750
Nasty creatures. We already have a dwarf. They're

01:00:32.750 --> 01:00:36.449
using my studies, is what we're doing, and they're

01:00:36.449 --> 01:00:39.170
building golems. I'm assuming like the one you

01:00:39.170 --> 01:00:43.789
spotted on the floor outside my door. So, do

01:00:43.789 --> 01:00:47.030
with that what you will, but I advise you to

01:00:47.030 --> 01:00:51.469
leave the way you came in. As I turn to walk

01:00:51.469 --> 01:00:56.050
out, I grab the bird. Okay. The Cajunal. Okay.

01:00:57.280 --> 01:00:59.079
Uh, what would that be? Stealth check? See how

01:00:59.079 --> 01:01:00.980
quietly you can take it? I don't care to do it

01:01:00.980 --> 01:01:04.559
quietly. Yeah, okay. Give me... Okay, yeah, you

01:01:04.559 --> 01:01:06.159
do it, and he, um... Actually, I have something

01:01:06.159 --> 01:01:08.739
for this. So yeah, you grab this birdcage, just

01:01:08.739 --> 01:01:10.699
yank it off, and he goes, You can have the rasping

01:01:10.699 --> 01:01:13.599
shitty bird! Anything that you take from this

01:01:13.599 --> 01:01:16.079
place will instantly turn to dust and teleport

01:01:16.079 --> 01:01:18.500
back here anyways the moment you walk out the

01:01:18.500 --> 01:01:22.840
door. What if he's lying? This door? No, the

01:01:22.840 --> 01:01:25.360
main door. The dungeon. Let's take him! Let's

01:01:25.360 --> 01:01:30.059
take him! Let's take him! Let's take him! Let's

01:01:30.059 --> 01:01:32.099
do it and try it. What happens if I kill every

01:01:32.099 --> 01:01:35.260
living thing in this dungeon? After a day, they'll

01:01:35.260 --> 01:01:38.480
all respawn. Oh. Okay. So you're telling me I

01:01:38.480 --> 01:01:40.420
could kill you over and over and over and over

01:01:40.420 --> 01:01:42.519
and over again if I really wanted to? Essentially,

01:01:42.659 --> 01:01:45.559
yes. I mean, yeah. You could. That's interesting.

01:01:45.880 --> 01:01:50.760
Essentially. Alright, see you later. He's like,

01:01:50.900 --> 01:01:55.000
goodbye. So, what would you guys like to do?

01:01:55.199 --> 01:01:57.780
I'm just going to sit the bird down. I believe

01:01:57.780 --> 01:02:03.579
him. Alright. I'm going to North Room. But first,

01:02:03.659 --> 01:02:07.239
I will drink another potion. I also need to drink

01:02:07.239 --> 01:02:11.780
a potion. You want one? I have? No. I have my

01:02:11.780 --> 01:02:15.639
own, bitch. I have a great one. Good, superior

01:02:15.639 --> 01:02:17.719
one. Very nice. You should have healing greater.

01:02:18.280 --> 01:02:24.539
Yeah, go for it. What is the rolls for it? 44

01:02:24.539 --> 01:02:43.929
plus 4. I guess we could do a wrist. We should.

01:02:44.190 --> 01:02:48.909
We should do that before I drink my pot. 4d4

01:02:48.909 --> 01:02:51.250
plus 4. I mean, I'm only half ill, so I wouldn't

01:02:51.250 --> 01:02:54.750
mind it. We need to do a long one. 4d4 plus 4?

01:02:54.869 --> 01:02:58.030
If we do a long one, they will respawn all the

01:02:58.030 --> 01:03:01.250
monsters when we wake up. So if you want to take

01:03:01.250 --> 01:03:04.289
a short one, that's fine. I'll shorten it. So

01:03:04.289 --> 01:03:06.489
where do you guys want to do this at? you're

01:03:06.489 --> 01:03:07.829
gonna do it like in the stairwell you're gonna

01:03:07.829 --> 01:03:09.469
go back to where there's you know see what's

01:03:09.469 --> 01:03:12.610
uh i'm thinking like the stairwell before the

01:03:12.610 --> 01:03:16.050
north room like the crumbled up one like where

01:03:16.050 --> 01:03:18.469
it was kind of yeah we're okay yeah like kind

01:03:18.469 --> 01:03:20.289
of where we didn't really engage anything other

01:03:20.289 --> 01:03:22.289
than the guard when he started walking that's

01:03:22.289 --> 01:03:23.789
fine if you want to kind of post up that way

01:03:23.789 --> 01:03:26.989
nothing would possibly respond there that we

01:03:26.989 --> 01:03:29.230
know of for a short rest yeah we're going back

01:03:29.230 --> 01:03:32.650
to the gray site what happens yes back to the

01:03:32.650 --> 01:03:35.070
side of grace back to the side of grace to rest

01:03:35.710 --> 01:03:37.570
Yeah, we've got a level. Yeah, so go ahead and

01:03:37.570 --> 01:03:39.690
take a short rest. What do you gain from a short

01:03:39.690 --> 01:03:43.590
rest? You can use hit points. Or your hit dice.

01:03:43.610 --> 01:03:45.570
I did a short rest and it didn't give me shit.

01:03:46.050 --> 01:03:48.690
So you have to choose if you want to use hit

01:03:48.690 --> 01:03:51.230
die. So you should have seven because I think

01:03:51.230 --> 01:03:55.190
it's based off your level. What are they worth

01:03:55.190 --> 01:03:58.730
though? I forgot. It should tell you. Is that

01:03:58.730 --> 01:04:01.530
what yours says? Your hit die? How many hit die

01:04:01.530 --> 01:04:04.989
do I get? Mine says 7d8 plus 21 if I use all

01:04:04.989 --> 01:04:10.389
of them. So at 7th level... So I can use all

01:04:10.389 --> 01:04:14.050
of what? Yeah, you get 1d8 per cleric level.

01:04:14.530 --> 01:04:17.289
So you can do all of them at once. You can do

01:04:17.289 --> 01:04:20.190
some of them. Like if you want to use... Because

01:04:20.190 --> 01:04:21.929
you have 7, so if you want to use like 4, you

01:04:21.929 --> 01:04:25.650
can roll 4d8s instead of 1. When do I get them

01:04:25.650 --> 01:04:29.219
back? At long rest? Yeah. Oh, shit, okay. Can

01:04:29.219 --> 01:04:31.039
I just roll them all, then? Yeah. If you want

01:04:31.039 --> 01:04:33.099
to roll a 12, you can. Or a 7. Is that a bad

01:04:33.099 --> 01:04:36.099
idea? Where'd you find to see their value? Uh...

01:04:36.099 --> 01:04:40.619
Oh. Oh, I don't know. I just clicked a little

01:04:40.619 --> 01:04:43.000
fire pit for it. I'll use it in the end. I'll

01:04:43.000 --> 01:04:44.840
say, I don't actually risk it yet. So, what happens...

01:04:44.840 --> 01:04:46.780
I'll have to do it, though. Here's the D12. What

01:04:46.780 --> 01:04:49.079
happens when you roll and your value's higher

01:04:49.079 --> 01:04:52.119
than your health? Do you get to pocket extra

01:04:52.119 --> 01:04:54.699
health? No. You don't get over health, I don't

01:04:54.699 --> 01:04:58.719
think. Well, I wrote a 65 in my house. Well,

01:04:58.820 --> 01:05:02.480
yours is a D8. So yeah. Damn, 38. Jesus. Holy

01:05:02.480 --> 01:05:07.039
crap. So you rolled what? A 65. How many did

01:05:07.039 --> 01:05:09.780
you roll? All of them. All seven? Okay. I'm going

01:05:09.780 --> 01:05:12.480
to use four, woman. All right. How many helps

01:05:12.480 --> 01:05:16.900
you do? I don't know. I was just... I said, did

01:05:16.900 --> 01:05:20.719
you just roll right away? Shit, woman. You're

01:05:20.719 --> 01:05:23.099
crazy. I asked so many times, nobody answered,

01:05:23.239 --> 01:05:25.480
so I just did it. Well, I used four, and it gave

01:05:25.480 --> 01:05:28.500
me 38, and I only needed, like, 14. I should

01:05:28.500 --> 01:05:31.940
have used less. One. Yeah, I'm going to use two

01:05:31.940 --> 01:05:36.179
next time. Two. What the fuck? Good thing you

01:05:36.179 --> 01:05:42.159
used this thing. I have my last one. Nice. Okay,

01:05:42.480 --> 01:05:49.659
so that's 15 and nine, so 24 on top of 31. 55.

01:05:51.339 --> 01:05:54.820
All right. Yeah. I'm almost full. Yeah, you take

01:05:54.820 --> 01:05:56.599
a little nap. You wake up and you notice that

01:05:56.599 --> 01:05:58.159
nothing has respawned. There's still a dead body

01:05:58.159 --> 01:06:01.400
laying in there. Oh, I feel so rejuvenated. So,

01:06:01.480 --> 01:06:03.059
what would you like to do? Go to the north room?

01:06:03.420 --> 01:06:05.360
Check on some dwarves that you told you? Yep,

01:06:05.820 --> 01:06:08.780
I'm juiced up. Ready to fucking clap. See you

01:06:08.780 --> 01:06:11.329
in a little bit. So I'll be punting those little

01:06:11.329 --> 01:06:13.309
fuckers. So you enter this room, there's like

01:06:13.309 --> 01:06:15.630
old wooden benches and shelves along the walls

01:06:15.630 --> 01:06:17.750
of the chamber, and they're all covered with

01:06:17.750 --> 01:06:20.610
gears and chains, trapped components, cages filled

01:06:20.610 --> 01:06:23.829
with rats. There's lit iron braziers that hang

01:06:23.829 --> 01:06:26.730
by chains from the ceiling. Along the north wall,

01:06:27.289 --> 01:06:29.829
a steeped, I don't know how you say that, raised

01:06:29.829 --> 01:06:33.630
diaz? Diaz? Die? Diaz. There's like a thing.

01:06:33.650 --> 01:06:38.079
Diaz. A raised little spot. Like a step, basically.

01:06:38.260 --> 01:06:41.440
A step higher. It is set with a bulky contraption.

01:06:41.619 --> 01:06:45.739
It looks like an Iron Maiden attached to a network

01:06:45.739 --> 01:06:48.440
of steaming pistons, tubes, and bubbling vats

01:06:48.440 --> 01:06:51.760
of blood. And there are five masked dwarves that

01:06:51.760 --> 01:06:54.280
are operating in this room. These don't look

01:06:54.280 --> 01:06:57.559
like normal dwarves. Like, they are fucking jacked.

01:06:57.960 --> 01:07:00.079
Um, they're all carrying, like, great axes on

01:07:00.079 --> 01:07:02.219
their backs. They've got these big green, like,

01:07:02.280 --> 01:07:05.119
horn demon head looking masks on. I really hope

01:07:05.119 --> 01:07:08.099
that's not a weapon. My bananas. Um, they've

01:07:08.099 --> 01:07:10.820
got, like, where you would, where it sees, like,

01:07:10.860 --> 01:07:12.880
leather belt straps and stuff. They've got tools,

01:07:13.000 --> 01:07:15.039
but their gauntlets are all covered in skulls.

01:07:15.420 --> 01:07:16.739
Invisibility cloak. They look like space marine

01:07:16.739 --> 01:07:19.059
type people. How do I get powered up like this?

01:07:19.579 --> 01:07:22.039
I have a feeling that Iron Maiden thing moves

01:07:22.039 --> 01:07:25.500
and will try to attack us. I put my invisibility

01:07:25.500 --> 01:07:29.230
cloak on. Well, withers did tell you that this

01:07:29.230 --> 01:07:31.269
is where they make the golems. The creatures.

01:07:31.570 --> 01:07:32.829
Okay, hold on. They're all those bastards. Yeah,

01:07:32.929 --> 01:07:36.329
this is the good steam shit running to it. There's,

01:07:36.369 --> 01:07:38.849
like, tubes and shit and, like, vats of blood

01:07:38.849 --> 01:07:41.730
all, like, hooked up to it and bubbling. Okay.

01:07:44.710 --> 01:07:47.130
Yeah, so you enter this room and they all kind

01:07:47.130 --> 01:07:49.289
of just do this, like, like, net crick, like,

01:07:49.329 --> 01:07:51.789
look at you. And, like, one of them walks forward

01:07:51.789 --> 01:07:54.789
and he's doing, like, like, hand signals at you.

01:07:55.349 --> 01:07:59.190
What do you do? Do the gag on the middle finger.

01:07:59.550 --> 01:08:01.610
Give him the middle finger. He looks back at

01:08:01.610 --> 01:08:04.050
his guys and does like the, like slams his fist

01:08:04.050 --> 01:08:06.090
together, makes an X and then slides his hands

01:08:06.090 --> 01:08:07.849
away and like does some other hand signals and

01:08:07.849 --> 01:08:12.269
stuff. I do the suck it. Yeah. He turns back

01:08:12.269 --> 01:08:14.050
to you and he does it back to you. And then.

01:08:14.940 --> 01:08:17.500
turn around it's begun here we go they get back

01:08:17.500 --> 01:08:19.060
into their work so you can tell that they're

01:08:19.060 --> 01:08:22.220
not like what the fuck he's like you passed yeah

01:08:22.220 --> 01:08:23.939
they're not here to like fight they just he's

01:08:23.939 --> 01:08:25.819
not they don't speak too much all right for now

01:08:25.819 --> 01:08:28.039
we're just gonna check shit out i guess look

01:08:28.039 --> 01:08:30.819
around okay since we're allowed to take a tour

01:08:31.850 --> 01:08:33.409
He's like, don't go in there. They're fucking

01:08:33.409 --> 01:08:35.949
savage. We're just like, middle finger? Suck

01:08:35.949 --> 01:08:39.850
it. This guy knows his stuff. Back to work. These

01:08:39.850 --> 01:08:42.729
guys are cool. Okay, so what would you like to

01:08:42.729 --> 01:08:44.949
do as they go back to working on these machines

01:08:44.949 --> 01:08:47.630
and stuff? I want to see how I can get this armor.

01:08:48.229 --> 01:08:50.810
You want to get their type of armor? Yeah. Skulls

01:08:50.810 --> 01:08:53.770
and stuff? So who are you going to talk to? The

01:08:53.770 --> 01:08:55.649
one that talked to you? Or talked to him? You

01:08:55.649 --> 01:08:57.329
going to talk to him? I don't think they speak.

01:08:58.880 --> 01:09:02.699
Unless you know Dwarvish sign language, don't

01:09:02.699 --> 01:09:05.300
I? You know Dwarven. You could try speaking Dwarven,

01:09:05.340 --> 01:09:07.600
but you don't know what's going to happen. I

01:09:07.600 --> 01:09:13.539
have... Skull. I know. Fringa is like five beers

01:09:13.539 --> 01:09:15.539
or something. Is there a such thing as the dark

01:09:15.539 --> 01:09:19.119
dwarves? Hey, I have Skull. I give up. That's

01:09:19.119 --> 01:09:22.340
a two intellectual. I have Skull of Comprehending

01:09:22.340 --> 01:09:25.920
Languages. Oh, yeah. That would work. I give

01:09:25.920 --> 01:09:29.630
it to Flea Stick. Can I have that last pizza?

01:09:30.109 --> 01:09:35.149
Yeah. We can cook another one. I want more too.

01:09:35.770 --> 01:09:38.390
Pause. He's been saying he's hungry for like

01:09:38.390 --> 01:09:40.489
forever. I'm sorry. All right, what was this?

01:09:40.689 --> 01:09:44.130
I give you the scroll of comprehending languages.

01:09:44.569 --> 01:09:48.210
Ooh. You didn't pop it. You just pop it. Okay,

01:09:48.590 --> 01:09:51.750
what are they? Is that spell an area of people

01:09:51.750 --> 01:09:53.109
or one target person? I think it's whoever hit

01:09:53.109 --> 01:09:55.649
the caster. I think it's whoever put it on. Okay,

01:09:56.170 --> 01:09:58.609
I'm going to use that. What these guys have to

01:09:58.609 --> 01:10:00.850
say. Okay, so you put it on and you instantly,

01:10:01.069 --> 01:10:04.109
your hands know how to move to speak their language.

01:10:04.939 --> 01:10:07.359
We'll speak in English. It's straight L .A. street

01:10:07.359 --> 01:10:10.100
language. Yeah, it's straight up, like, gang

01:10:10.100 --> 01:10:12.939
signs. It's a jailhouse sign. Yeah. Essentially,

01:10:13.359 --> 01:10:14.800
what are you wanting to say to him? What do you

01:10:14.800 --> 01:10:17.720
want to talk about? Exactly. I forgot. Is there

01:10:17.720 --> 01:10:20.479
any way I can get any of this armor you guys

01:10:20.479 --> 01:10:22.680
wear? He, like, looks at his arms and stuff,

01:10:22.819 --> 01:10:24.899
and he points at some... I need a buff up. He

01:10:24.899 --> 01:10:27.060
points at some gears and stuff, and then he hands

01:10:27.060 --> 01:10:30.260
you, like, this big bucket of oil. Tools. You're

01:10:30.260 --> 01:10:33.840
a dwarf. Figure it out. No, he's putting you

01:10:33.840 --> 01:10:36.939
to work. He said oil up them gears. I go up and

01:10:36.939 --> 01:10:40.600
I oil up some gears for this guy. Yeah, you can't

01:10:40.600 --> 01:10:42.680
stop free. So, yeah, you're going to go oil up

01:10:42.680 --> 01:10:44.199
some gears? Yeah, I'm going to do whatever these

01:10:44.199 --> 01:10:46.420
guys say until I need to get buffed up. Tell

01:10:46.420 --> 01:10:50.039
your prisoner. No, I'm not. Give me a... What

01:10:50.039 --> 01:10:51.500
would that be to work on? I don't even know how

01:10:51.500 --> 01:10:53.500
you do this. Strength, probably, to hold the

01:10:53.500 --> 01:10:56.729
bucket oil. Yeah, give me a strength athletics

01:10:56.729 --> 01:10:58.729
check. It would have to be athletics. Because

01:10:58.729 --> 01:11:01.770
it's just a physical test. Yeah, so you're not

01:11:01.770 --> 01:11:03.510
trying to dump this bucket over the floor. Is

01:11:03.510 --> 01:11:06.310
it athletics or strength? It's the same. It's

01:11:06.310 --> 01:11:08.869
a strength base. You can put your athletics.

01:11:09.050 --> 01:11:13.350
All right. If you're skilled in it. So that is

01:11:13.350 --> 01:11:18.189
a... I got a 11. 11? Okay. So I'll say, like,

01:11:18.210 --> 01:11:19.689
good enough to dump the oil. Decent enough to

01:11:19.689 --> 01:11:21.670
pour the oil into the gears and getting them

01:11:21.670 --> 01:11:24.659
all greased up and stuff. Um, so, what are you,

01:11:24.659 --> 01:11:27.880
you gonna go back to him now? Be like, what next,

01:11:27.939 --> 01:11:31.899
man? What next, man? He goes, like, gives you

01:11:31.899 --> 01:11:34.300
a little, like, chest pump. Uh, and he looks

01:11:34.300 --> 01:11:36.420
around for a second and he looks down at his

01:11:36.420 --> 01:11:38.539
belt and he pulls off, like, his hammer and he

01:11:38.539 --> 01:11:41.060
gives it to you and then he hands you some skulls

01:11:41.060 --> 01:11:43.239
and, like, pieces of, like, metal and stuff and

01:11:43.239 --> 01:11:44.960
then he points to, like, the blacksmith forge.

01:11:45.619 --> 01:11:48.180
He's basically saying, like, here's the supplies,

01:11:48.300 --> 01:11:49.960
here's the supplies, can you make it yourself?

01:11:50.399 --> 01:11:53.510
Let's see if I can do this. Alright. Are you

01:11:53.510 --> 01:11:55.850
proficient in blacksmithing? I know, you were

01:11:55.850 --> 01:11:59.170
like beer drinking. No, I don't think so. I don't

01:11:59.170 --> 01:12:03.130
know. Where did I find that? He's not a blacksmithing

01:12:03.130 --> 01:12:07.149
dwarf. Where did I find this at? You could probably

01:12:07.149 --> 01:12:10.250
trade them booze. And they'd make you whatever

01:12:10.250 --> 01:12:13.789
I bet. He like pulls all the shit out of his

01:12:13.789 --> 01:12:17.850
backpack. He's like, I'm building up a steel

01:12:17.850 --> 01:12:22.159
right now. Where did I find this at? Yeah, let

01:12:22.159 --> 01:12:32.779
me look at... What are you looking for, Joseph?

01:12:36.239 --> 01:12:40.460
Father. Okay, here we go. Okay, so I need you

01:12:40.460 --> 01:12:44.000
to give me a strength and a dexterity check.

01:12:44.159 --> 01:12:48.520
Let's do that. Okay? Yep. Please take. Because

01:12:48.520 --> 01:12:49.899
strength, because you're going to be using these

01:12:49.899 --> 01:12:52.529
hammers to like... kind of beat on to this stuff

01:12:52.529 --> 01:12:54.649
and forge it and then dexterity to kind of carve

01:12:54.649 --> 01:12:56.930
it and mend it the way it needs to be. Five.

01:12:58.569 --> 01:13:05.289
And thirteen. Five on the strings? Yeah, and

01:13:05.289 --> 01:13:07.890
thirteen on the decks. Okay, so I'll say that

01:13:07.890 --> 01:13:12.350
you were able to strap your skulls and bones

01:13:12.350 --> 01:13:14.869
to like the gauntlets, but the hammering and

01:13:14.869 --> 01:13:17.069
forging of it wasn't so good, so it's still like

01:13:17.069 --> 01:13:20.649
bent and like weird. So it won't fit on, but

01:13:20.649 --> 01:13:24.890
you've got the pieces to get it built, but it's

01:13:24.890 --> 01:13:26.510
just not. It just needs reshaped. Yes, it needs

01:13:26.510 --> 01:13:27.930
reshaped. I'm going to call my brother and help

01:13:27.930 --> 01:13:31.890
me. This dwarf guy? Yes. I'd ask him if he's

01:13:31.890 --> 01:13:35.770
got any tips to improve your workmanship. Give

01:13:35.770 --> 01:13:42.050
me a persuasion check. You should probably tell

01:13:42.050 --> 01:13:45.340
him that you're a brewing expert as well. Am

01:13:45.340 --> 01:13:48.000
I, though? I can't find it. I would say so. You

01:13:48.000 --> 01:13:49.880
had to have had a skill that comes with almost

01:13:49.880 --> 01:13:53.340
every race. Like, a human always has a musical

01:13:53.340 --> 01:13:55.500
instrument they're proficient in and shit, I'm

01:13:55.500 --> 01:13:58.380
pretty sure. Or a tool. How do I find this? Yeah,

01:13:58.399 --> 01:14:04.199
I think I can get it. I don't know. I'd definitely

01:14:04.199 --> 01:14:08.699
play it to your strengths. Or take some of their

01:14:08.699 --> 01:14:10.340
trash and be like... You got Smith tools, so

01:14:10.340 --> 01:14:12.340
you're good at proficiency. Yeah. You can add

01:14:12.340 --> 01:14:13.819
your proficiency. Hey, you can do that. Find

01:14:13.819 --> 01:14:15.579
some of their trash laying around and be like...

01:14:15.579 --> 01:14:18.880
Yeah, you've got a proficiency. Add my own trashy

01:14:18.880 --> 01:14:21.460
essence. So actually, you would add your proficiency

01:14:21.460 --> 01:14:23.840
bonus to what you did. So you would have had

01:14:23.840 --> 01:14:25.579
a plus three to your roll. So it would have been

01:14:25.579 --> 01:14:28.880
five plus three. So eight. So an eight and 15

01:14:28.880 --> 01:14:32.479
plus... So eight and 18? Yeah. Or you can make

01:14:32.479 --> 01:14:36.920
it like a pristine trash hammer out of... I mean,

01:14:36.920 --> 01:14:38.359
he is a trash man. Just do what you want to do,

01:14:38.380 --> 01:14:40.260
what you say to him. So what are you going to

01:14:40.260 --> 01:14:42.880
say to him as you return with this? You can turn

01:14:42.880 --> 01:14:44.479
and persuade him, I guess, just to see if that

01:14:44.479 --> 01:14:47.020
works. Oh, yeah. Yeah, you're asking for tips?

01:14:47.119 --> 01:14:49.380
Is that what you did? Yeah. Yeah. Persuasion?

01:14:49.460 --> 01:14:52.579
What was it? I forgot what I rolled. I don't

01:14:52.579 --> 01:14:54.119
know if we can roll that. I don't think you did.

01:14:54.159 --> 01:14:58.039
Do it persuasion. I think we got talking on the

01:14:58.039 --> 01:15:03.920
other options before that. Okay. Yeah, we'll

01:15:03.920 --> 01:15:06.899
skip that. All right, bad roll. Bad roll? Two.

01:15:07.319 --> 01:15:09.560
He looks at it, and he just kind of like shakes

01:15:09.560 --> 01:15:11.300
his head, and he kind of like waves his hand.

01:15:11.340 --> 01:15:12.859
You're getting the sense that he's telling you

01:15:12.859 --> 01:15:15.300
from his hand signals to either try again on

01:15:15.300 --> 01:15:16.960
yourself or to get someone to help you because

01:15:16.960 --> 01:15:21.319
he's not going to do it. All right, so. I'll

01:15:21.319 --> 01:15:23.079
give you one more strength check if you want

01:15:23.079 --> 01:15:27.000
to try and mend it back to normal, and this will

01:15:27.000 --> 01:15:29.260
have your proficiency bonus, so it'll be rolled

01:15:29.260 --> 01:15:35.340
correctly. So that's a 12 plus 2, 14. Okay, yeah.

01:15:35.439 --> 01:15:37.119
I'll say you're able to bend it and mend it to

01:15:37.119 --> 01:15:39.899
your fit. It might be a little dented. It doesn't

01:15:39.899 --> 01:15:42.979
look pristine, but it fits. Not master class.

01:15:43.199 --> 01:15:46.199
Yes. So I'll say you have these skull -looking

01:15:46.199 --> 01:15:48.920
gauntlets strapped to your arms and shit, to

01:15:48.920 --> 01:15:50.899
your wrists. Maybe it just looks like you beat

01:15:50.899 --> 01:15:52.800
it off of a warrior. Yeah, it looks like a mini

01:15:52.800 --> 01:15:56.079
space marine. Yeah. All right. Anything else

01:15:56.079 --> 01:16:01.159
you'd like to do with this place? I'm going to

01:16:01.159 --> 01:16:03.300
look around and see if anything sticks out, really.

01:16:03.760 --> 01:16:06.060
Obviously, the Iron Maiden, which I'm not stepping

01:16:06.060 --> 01:16:16.600
anywhere near. Okay, so... And after that, I

01:16:16.600 --> 01:16:19.460
might have you ask them what the fuck that thing

01:16:19.460 --> 01:16:23.039
is. The Iron Maiden thing in the middle of the

01:16:23.039 --> 01:16:25.100
room with all the steadplates. I mean, it might

01:16:25.100 --> 01:16:27.899
be how they produce golems. He might not tell

01:16:27.899 --> 01:16:30.710
you at all. Maybe I can wear it as a suit. Uh,

01:16:31.069 --> 01:16:32.930
well, as soon as you put it on, it's gonna shank

01:16:32.930 --> 01:16:36.789
the fuck out of you. Okay, so... So, uh, yeah,

01:16:36.850 --> 01:16:38.130
what would you like to do here? You're looking

01:16:38.130 --> 01:16:40.350
around the room? Yeah, to see if anything's stuck

01:16:40.350 --> 01:16:44.069
out. So, give me a perception check. Okay. Perception.

01:16:44.729 --> 01:16:51.810
I'm sitting in this chair. Oof. Uh, trace. Okay,

01:16:51.810 --> 01:16:58.090
so... Where are we gonna find this thing? This

01:16:58.090 --> 01:17:03.439
is kind of hard to miss. You're finding when

01:17:03.439 --> 01:17:05.760
you look around you see the forge because that's

01:17:05.760 --> 01:17:07.739
kind of like the main big thing you're looking

01:17:07.739 --> 01:17:09.560
through in this room where you see stuff and

01:17:09.560 --> 01:17:14.659
you're seeing a Alchemist supply and a smith's

01:17:14.659 --> 01:17:19.760
tool like kit on there sitting next to it So

01:17:19.760 --> 01:17:21.159
that's not it. I'm not gonna give you all this

01:17:21.159 --> 01:17:28.180
stuff Alchemist tool obviously used to make you

01:17:28.180 --> 01:17:31.439
know poisons, potions, whatever. Yeah. You trying

01:17:31.439 --> 01:17:34.939
to kill me? To use your own on the go, like in

01:17:34.939 --> 01:17:36.880
camp, you need to use Smith tools to try and

01:17:36.880 --> 01:17:46.460
do some stuff, you can. Oh. Alright. So, is there

01:17:46.460 --> 01:17:49.359
anything I'd like to do? Anything else? You can

01:17:49.359 --> 01:17:51.439
ask him about that Iron Maiden thing, I guess,

01:17:51.500 --> 01:17:53.500
since you can speak the fucking sign language.

01:17:54.979 --> 01:17:59.390
Maybe it's something interesting. Yeah. I will

01:17:59.390 --> 01:18:08.170
ask. He asks. Okay. He says, yeah, that's where

01:18:08.170 --> 01:18:10.409
they build the golems. That's where they build

01:18:10.409 --> 01:18:12.109
them inside of that. They generate them. They

01:18:12.109 --> 01:18:15.569
put them together. And they build them until

01:18:15.569 --> 01:18:18.869
they're ready. And then they open up. Could you

01:18:18.869 --> 01:18:23.770
make me a suit out of golems? No. No. He said

01:18:23.770 --> 01:18:26.010
you would be a golem. He points at it like...

01:18:26.350 --> 01:18:31.630
You want to go in it? No, I'm good. Why did you

01:18:31.630 --> 01:18:35.550
give them a chussy? The chussy is there to absorb.

01:18:39.170 --> 01:18:42.869
Understood, understood. It charges them up and

01:18:42.869 --> 01:18:44.850
makes them stronger. I'm learning the language.

01:18:45.350 --> 01:18:48.189
Yeah, he's naturally learning that. I'm adapting

01:18:48.189 --> 01:18:50.029
to it. It's that hood street stuff, you know

01:18:50.029 --> 01:18:51.909
what I mean? I grew up with a lot of sign. All

01:18:51.909 --> 01:18:53.710
right. Very simple. Anything else you guys want

01:18:53.710 --> 01:18:59.119
to do in this? Leave. Leave the fuck out of here?

01:18:59.939 --> 01:19:03.420
As they pound on their chest of sea. I'm curious

01:19:03.420 --> 01:19:05.739
if I can get them to do some work for me, maybe.

01:19:06.319 --> 01:19:09.659
Like what? What do you want? Like, strengthen

01:19:09.659 --> 01:19:12.079
my sword even further than plus one. My green

01:19:12.079 --> 01:19:14.500
sword, maybe. What do you want me to do? Spoof

01:19:14.500 --> 01:19:18.409
it up. So you'd have to communicate through.

01:19:18.550 --> 01:19:21.609
I know, and I'm thinking of what I have to offer

01:19:21.609 --> 01:19:25.069
that they would want, you know what I mean? You'd

01:19:25.069 --> 01:19:27.109
have to offer me a little something. You know

01:19:27.109 --> 01:19:29.130
what's funny? We both have a hoard of Valhalla.

01:19:29.329 --> 01:19:32.069
Yeah. I have one, too. I thought someone's gotten

01:19:32.069 --> 01:19:37.510
it before. Let's see. Oh, damn. I'm looking at

01:19:37.510 --> 01:19:41.090
something that's blacksmith interest, something

01:19:41.090 --> 01:19:45.989
they would like. Not Mr. Riddle's head. I don't

01:19:45.989 --> 01:19:47.890
think they're interested in that. What about

01:19:47.890 --> 01:19:51.609
your demon sword? That's not a demon sword anymore.

01:19:51.630 --> 01:19:53.430
That's not anymore. That was when it was my arm.

01:19:53.609 --> 01:19:56.630
Oh, yeah, that's imbued in you. Yeah, he's the

01:19:56.630 --> 01:20:01.829
demon. He's part of them. They fused. Let's see.

01:20:03.949 --> 01:20:07.850
Math? All right, then you can try it. Fuck. That's

01:20:07.850 --> 01:20:09.989
your stash, dog. He'll be working on it. Well,

01:20:10.270 --> 01:20:12.350
I don't have much of a desire for it anymore

01:20:12.350 --> 01:20:15.409
now that I'm demonic. You're a demon, though,

01:20:15.430 --> 01:20:17.510
so that's kind of weird. It's like a party stash

01:20:17.510 --> 01:20:20.789
now. I give him like a half gram. You know, see

01:20:20.789 --> 01:20:23.350
what he thinks about it. I think he'll make some

01:20:23.350 --> 01:20:26.850
good equipment. How are you going to convince

01:20:26.850 --> 01:20:30.050
him to take the drugs? They seem pretty energetic

01:20:30.050 --> 01:20:31.810
to begin with, so I don't know if they'll be

01:20:31.810 --> 01:20:34.649
wanting that. Fuck, I don't know what to offer

01:20:34.649 --> 01:20:39.270
him. I'm hit. I got a decent warhammer. I don't

01:20:39.270 --> 01:20:41.250
use all that much. They can't have my trench

01:20:41.250 --> 01:20:47.970
knife. That's grandpappy's. Emerald Furry, that's

01:20:47.970 --> 01:20:52.189
a fire weapon. I like having that. What do they

01:20:52.189 --> 01:20:56.470
want? Tell him I'll offer him my warhammer if

01:20:56.470 --> 01:20:59.750
he's willing to strengthen my greatsword in return.

01:21:01.090 --> 01:21:09.079
Or enhance it, I guess. Please reinterpret. There

01:21:09.079 --> 01:21:12.699
you go. Yeah, he looks at this like, what kind

01:21:12.699 --> 01:21:14.899
of, what is it? Warhammer? Yeah, it's right up.

01:21:15.140 --> 01:21:18.119
It's a Warhammer. Plus eight does one D10 plus

01:21:18.119 --> 01:21:20.720
five. Okay, so he looks at it. He looks at his

01:21:20.720 --> 01:21:23.420
axe that's like dripping with like nastiness

01:21:23.420 --> 01:21:26.039
and grossness. And he looks at it. And he goes

01:21:26.039 --> 01:21:27.729
over to the forward. You see him like. Ding,

01:21:27.850 --> 01:21:30.289
ding, ding, ding. Starts beating this Warhammer

01:21:30.289 --> 01:21:32.789
into his, like, axe. Now he's got, like, a fucking

01:21:32.789 --> 01:21:35.369
crazy Warhammer axe. He looks at you and he's

01:21:35.369 --> 01:21:37.970
like, like, he doesn't hand just, like, give

01:21:37.970 --> 01:21:41.029
me. Like, he'll take it and roll something real

01:21:41.029 --> 01:21:42.850
quick since it's already a specialist. He's a

01:21:42.850 --> 01:21:45.949
baller. I like this guy. Okay, so, yeah, I will

01:21:45.949 --> 01:21:48.649
say it will go up one if you want. Plus two,

01:21:48.649 --> 01:21:51.029
Dad. Plus two. Nice. Because he rolled really

01:21:51.029 --> 01:21:53.770
good on his Smith to whack you. So what else

01:21:53.770 --> 01:21:56.029
would go up with that? Attack bonus? I think

01:21:56.029 --> 01:21:58.079
it's just the attack. Yeah, so you don't get

01:21:58.079 --> 01:22:00.680
plus two to attack or whatever. Is that a plus

01:22:00.680 --> 01:22:06.119
one? Nice, I'll take that. Alright. You mean

01:22:06.119 --> 01:22:12.199
plus ten? Nah. Alright, are we done in this place?

01:22:12.899 --> 01:22:15.600
Yeah, that's all I could find, but hey, I heard

01:22:15.600 --> 01:22:20.000
him slip up. He said that all I could see with

01:22:20.000 --> 01:22:26.340
my roll was just that one alchemy set. tool thing,

01:22:26.520 --> 01:22:28.779
but if someone rolls better than a fucking three,

01:22:29.060 --> 01:22:31.180
I'm looking around, there might be someone. All

01:22:31.180 --> 01:22:36.140
right, I'll look around. Nobody lose. I'm winning.

01:22:36.520 --> 01:22:39.359
Except the balls. You did, we did. Good job.

01:22:40.319 --> 01:22:44.560
You dropped as soon as his back hit the ground.

01:22:44.760 --> 01:22:48.560
Wait, what do you... Eleven. Do you add anything

01:22:48.560 --> 01:22:53.000
to a loot search? Perception. Oh, perception?

01:22:53.560 --> 01:22:59.420
Twelve. You guys might get you something. Okay,

01:22:59.560 --> 01:23:03.640
I got an 18. 13 plus 5. Make him cough up the

01:23:03.640 --> 01:23:07.979
goodies. Okay, so you find thieves' tools, some

01:23:07.979 --> 01:23:12.060
masons' tools, and you find this lantern that's

01:23:12.060 --> 01:23:14.520
just got this ghostly glow. It's like green.

01:23:14.960 --> 01:23:19.720
Probably always on. It never burns out. That's

01:23:19.720 --> 01:23:22.539
what you find together in this place. The ghost

01:23:22.539 --> 01:23:26.039
lantern, thieves' tools, masons' tools. Can I

01:23:26.039 --> 01:23:30.180
have the feedstools? You have it all. You can

01:23:30.180 --> 01:23:32.680
have the... The lamp is going to be helpful in

01:23:32.680 --> 01:23:34.859
a really dark place, believe me. If it never

01:23:34.859 --> 01:23:36.880
burns out and it's just always got green light.

01:23:37.199 --> 01:23:39.840
But what if it just fucks with you all the time?

01:23:40.720 --> 01:23:43.680
Feedstools! What else? Does it make noise? Just

01:23:43.680 --> 01:23:46.619
like this ghostly glowing... It doesn't make

01:23:46.619 --> 01:23:48.340
noise, though. It doesn't make noise, yeah. It's

01:23:48.340 --> 01:23:51.420
just a glowy green lantern. It's the whole time

01:23:51.420 --> 01:23:53.340
you're holding it, it's like, you back? Yeah,

01:23:53.340 --> 01:23:56.920
it's like, you back? All right, so did you get

01:23:56.920 --> 01:23:59.520
it done in this place? Yeah, may as well be.

01:23:59.680 --> 01:24:03.880
Leave? Yeah. All right. So, you go towards your

01:24:03.880 --> 01:24:06.800
exit that you came in to this bad bitch. Uh -oh.

01:24:07.520 --> 01:24:10.279
No uh -ohs. I mean, kind of, but not big uh -ohs.

01:24:10.520 --> 01:24:18.159
So, as you step out... should have told the dwarves

01:24:18.159 --> 01:24:19.920
that that withers fucker called them bitches

01:24:19.920 --> 01:24:26.779
so as you step out the red gem that was mended

01:24:26.779 --> 01:24:31.079
to your your thing turns to dust and disappears

01:24:31.079 --> 01:24:34.539
and teleports back to the place and as you're

01:24:34.539 --> 01:24:35.939
kind of stepping out you're hearing that little

01:24:35.939 --> 01:24:38.140
little demon thing that was attached to you he

01:24:38.140 --> 01:24:39.800
goes you son of a bitch you're leaving the door

01:24:39.800 --> 01:24:42.000
and you feel him just get like ripped off of

01:24:42.000 --> 01:24:47.020
you and pulled out of your place So what else

01:24:47.020 --> 01:24:51.579
did you grab off of? This is all things that

01:24:51.579 --> 01:24:57.920
were back. Where's my genie? Genie's not here

01:24:57.920 --> 01:25:04.199
yet. Those are fine. It's just certain things

01:25:04.199 --> 01:25:07.539
that were particular to where they were at and

01:25:07.539 --> 01:25:10.760
who they were from. Not the arm armor. No, because

01:25:10.760 --> 01:25:13.279
you forged that yourself. What about the thing

01:25:13.279 --> 01:25:16.260
you picked up off the big guy? What's my attributes?

01:25:16.739 --> 01:25:19.180
Yeah, your Horn of Valhalla. That's what it was.

01:25:19.340 --> 01:25:22.619
You feel it kind of fade away and teleport back

01:25:22.619 --> 01:25:26.699
to the other guy you got. I guess that was for

01:25:26.699 --> 01:25:33.220
using on the fucking dwarves. Your shield that

01:25:33.220 --> 01:25:36.020
you took and wrapped the stuff around. Yeah,

01:25:36.020 --> 01:25:41.390
it goes. And fades to the wall. No, you still

01:25:41.390 --> 01:25:44.869
got all of your potions, your XP, and you got

01:25:44.869 --> 01:25:47.689
the genie to go find stuff for you. It's supposed

01:25:47.689 --> 01:25:51.050
to still. We still have the thieves tools. Take

01:25:51.050 --> 01:25:56.810
the work away. Yeah, but you step out a little

01:25:56.810 --> 01:25:59.090
bit stronger, a little bit more powered up, and

01:25:59.090 --> 01:26:01.949
a little bit extra gear. To go find the second

01:26:01.949 --> 01:26:05.020
sword. We're a lot of it hungry. This episode

01:26:05.020 --> 01:26:07.500
of Dummies with Dice features Kelly Lee as Miss

01:26:07.500 --> 01:26:10.699
Muffin, Nate Chambers as Duke Crystal, Ryan Tucker

01:26:10.699 --> 01:26:13.479
as Flea Stick Sock Jelly, and Tristan Hayes as

01:26:13.479 --> 01:26:16.619
the DM. The episode is edited and mixed by Tristan

01:26:16.619 --> 01:26:19.100
Hayes. The artwork for Dummies with Dice, created

01:26:19.100 --> 01:26:21.560
by Al Sorenson, can be found on Instagram under

01:26:21.560 --> 01:26:26.979
A -R -C -S -I -0. The theme song is The Intense

01:26:26.979 --> 01:26:29.600
Fiddle by Ben Caldera. When it comes to Dummies

01:26:29.600 --> 01:26:32.500
with Dice, you can find our website on rss .com

01:26:32.500 --> 01:26:35.520
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01:26:35.520 --> 01:26:38.220
Facebook at Dummies with Dice. Most importantly,

01:26:38.279 --> 01:26:41.279
join our Patreon at patreon .com slash Dummies

01:26:41.279 --> 01:26:44.520
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01:26:49.859 --> 01:26:50.119
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