Speaker 1 [00.00.01] Hey, it's your dummy. Master Tristn and I would like to thank our sponsor, Derby Energy. Derby energy is a growing and flourishing energy drink powder, actually developing a clean energy formula that is free from fillers, maltodextrin and artificial colorings so everyone can enjoy. In addition, Derby is a sugar free and zero calorie. Using a coffee fruit extract blend gives a much healthier, genderless and no crash effect from drinking dummy. There are many flavors and each one sounds amazing. I just got my order of Dragon Aid today and a mystery flavor. The Dragon aid is dragon fruit and pink strawberry lemonade. Yummy yummy! I am so excited to try them out! Our referral link for the bee Energy will be in the description, along with our discount code. For a 10% off. Dummies with dice is the discount code. Thank you. Dubby energy. Viewer warning use of violence, profanity, rude humor and the portrayal of drug and alcohol abuse. Welcome to Damage the Dice are Dungeons and Dragons actual Play podcast that follows three not so average dummies of our world that get caught up in a magical storm and are transported to the world of Dungeons and Dragons, where they must survive and try to find a way back Speaker 2 [00.01.25] home. Take it away. Speaker 3 [00.01.28] Hey, everybody. Ryan Tucker here, I play this, please stick sock jelly. I am the hobo trash master cleric of the God Army and MacGyver, of all things trash and garbage. Fun fact when you're blessed by the God rom key, you smell like your favorite food. Speaker 1 [00.01.43] Okay. No. Is it like a rotten version of your favorite food? No. It smells good to you. It smells like that. The one's blessed. Speaker 3 [00.01.50] Yeah, it's everybody else. You smell like ass. Speaker 1 [00.01.53] Yeah. All right. Speaker 4 [00.01.55] Hi, I'm Kelly Lee. I play Miss Muffin. She's a crazy cat lady. Rogue. Fun fact as you can tell from the last episode, Miss Muffin loves cat facts. So here's another. Did you know that cats have no taste receptors for sweetness? Therefore they cannot enjoy a sweet treat. However, they do tend to enjoy tuna, mac and cheese with peas with Miss Muffin. Speaker 1 [00.02.16] Oh, wow. Beep! Speaker 3 [00.02.19] All the way back to the mac and cheese night. Here. My characters Duke Crystal, the level seven heart demon barbarian, warlock of the group. Fun fact about Duke. Now that he's part demon, he has less of an urge to do Speaker 1 [00.02.33] drugs. Oh, he's got a constant fueling. Speaker 2 [00.02.37] My name is Tristan Hayes and I am the dummy master, and my fun fact is that Napoleon was once attacked by hundreds of bunnies in a botched hunting party. Speaker 1 [00.02.47] So I don't know the backstory of how that happened or how you saved, but apparently to pull him, he had a kid by lots of bunnies. Speaker 4 [00.02.55] If he had a carrot in his pocket, Speaker 1 [00.02.57] he made that up. He made it. Speaker 3 [00.03.00] I can't picture it. Speaker 1 [00.03.03] He just falls into a hole full of bunnies. And they're just like this. Like rabid rabbit, Speaker 3 [00.03.10] savage or red eyed Speaker 4 [00.03.12] dope. Dope, dope. Get out of my Speaker 1 [00.03.13] house. Speaker 4 [00.03.33] So where we have left off? You guys had. What did you do? Oh, yeah. He cleared out a camp. Uh, you got the people out that you were supposed to. Thanks to Duke's smooth talking. And, uh. Which doesn't happen very often. Um, you gathered a follower duke to your demon side for bargaining of his soul. Um, and he's got some followers for his god roomkey and planted with his stinky roomkey trash juice handprint on them all. So, yeah, booty juice. But then you got a call from Lilith who warned you about going on a raging rampage and murdering everyone and got Ahold of you guys? So now I gotta go talk to you guys and told you. You told him where you were. So now he is saying he's on his way. So I'll pick this up off, like, right where you guys ended. So. Kind of. Night time. Now it's dark. The people had cleaned and you see a couple people coming out, like, screaming and pissed off because they're still got the handprint stuck on their face even after they cleaned off. So they still got that trashy handprint. Um, that's why I won't do Speaker 1 [00.04.40] it. Uh, but you see that? And people kind of start, uh, getting ready for bed and making other places that in these various rooms here. Uh, what would you guys like to do as the night is coming to an end? Speaker 4 [00.04.52] How far is Glasgow from us? Speaker 1 [00.04.55] You know that he was at Dark Haven, but you don't know exactly how far you are from Dark Haven. Say so. He. You don't really know how far he is not safe to sleep, so Speaker 4 [00.05.06] it's not safe to sleep. Speaker 1 [00.05.08] You're not going to sleep? Speaker 3 [00.05.09] No. For an unknown amount of days. Speaker 1 [00.05.14] He might be moving fast. He might not be. I'm sure he's moving fast. I'll Speaker 4 [00.05.17] find a good hiding spot and sleep good hiding spot. Where would you find hiding spot? Out. Where Speaker 1 [00.05.22] are we? You're in your arms, behind Keith. Speaker 4 [00.05.25] There's lots of hiding Speaker 1 [00.05.26] spots. Okay. What cabinets? Okay, so you're gonna crawl into a cabinet, like in the kitchen Speaker 4 [00.05.31] for. That's exactly where Speaker 3 [00.05.33] he would have defined amount of Speaker 1 [00.05.34] time. Okay. Can I sleep during my sleep? Okay. If you want to sleep inside of the cabinet, that's fine. That's fine. Um, Speaker 4 [00.05.41] unknown cabinet of any of you. You all know where I go. I'm Speaker 1 [00.05.46] safe. Okay. You're in a cabinet somewhere in the building. I got it. Speaker 2 [00.05.50] I'll put a hidden marker on it and there's nothing. Um, so what else would you like to do? Since my stuff is hiding in an unknown location of cabinet somewhere, taking a rest. Speaker 3 [00.06.03] I guess I'll just hang out by the main gate up on the wall or Speaker 1 [00.06.07] something. Gets up on main gate and hang out. Yeah, Speaker 3 [00.06.09] for keeping an eye out for him, I guess. So you don't come looping over the wall. Speaker 1 [00.06.14] We'll make you move you to there. Speaker 3 [00.06.18] So Duke is on the south wall. Miss Muffet is sleeping in an unknown, undisclosed location. What would you like to do, please? What's the Speaker 1 [00.06.27] highest point? The highest point here. Um, I would say, I mean, the walls. I just kind of want to Speaker 3 [00.06.35] sleep up there and keep an eye out. Speaker 1 [00.06.37] You gotta sleep up on top of the walls. Yeah. Okay. Where would you like to be? East. West. North. Speaker 3 [00.06.42] South. Is that where you are? Speaker 1 [00.06.44] Duke's the south. He's at the main gate. Speaker 2 [00.06.46] Okay. All right. Here. Be good. Speaker 1 [00.06.49] What is that up? Speaker 4 [00.06.52] Visualize it. You got Speaker 3 [00.06.53] this. He's at South, so this would Speaker 1 [00.06.55] be west. Okay, so you're going to the west end wall east, and you're gonna sleep on the wall? Yep. Okay. All right, so you move up to the west wall. Uh, Duke is at the south wall. Miss muffin, you're sleeping where you want to sleep. I don't know where you're at. I'm safe. You're safe. Okay, so Duke and fleece dig make me perception check. But please stick to it at disadvantage. Since you said you were going to be sleeping. Speaker 3 [00.07.20] Sleeping? Did you say Speaker 1 [00.07.22] perception? Yes. Speaker 3 [00.07.26] 14. Speaker 1 [00.07.28] That would be 21. 21 Speaker 3 [00.07.32] on the first row and 20 on the second. 20 on the second. Not rolling dead 20. That's adding five. Speaker 2 [00.07.39] Okay, so now I'm not playing. Okay. No. So, um. Yeah, you you fully stick and you're kind of sleep, you hear, like a rustling, but you don't hear anything that seems like out of the swords. Um, Duke, you do not hear anything. So you roll something here. Speaker 1 [00.07.57] Okay, so the night goes on. Nothing. Nothing noticeably out of the ordinary happens. You kind of. Duke. Are you staying up, like, the entire night at the south gate? Are you gonna like. Watch for a couple hours and then go to sleep. Like, what's your Speaker 3 [00.08.12] plan? I'm kind of just like, if I get tired, I guess I'll just sit there and kind of take a nap. Okay, Speaker 2 [00.08.18] okay. So yeah, you guys kind of sleep through the night. Uh, Miss Muffin safe in a cabinet somewhere. Uh. Please, stick. You are safe on the top of the wall. And Dukes nodding off and and small cat naps. But you wake up the next morning and nothing seems to be off or anything. Uh, what would you guys like to do if you awake, Speaker 1 [00.08.35] stretch. Anything special you want to do for your place? Anyone special you want to talk to? Speaker 3 [00.08.39] Eat? Yes. There's always a breakfast now. Now that there's people here, they have people working in the kitchen. Um, do you just, like, crawl out of a cabinet somewhere? Yeah. You're not telling us where you're at. Doing. No. Okay. All right. You crawl out of the cabinet somewhere. Um, but when you come to the main room, you guys kind of wake up. Uh, you see that they're preparing food and that there's lots of people actually like working. And there's people in the kitchen doing stuff. There's lots of bodies out doing things. Um, Duke, when you wake up, you notice that, uh, there are some guards actually standing guard there. Little weak, little beaten up. But you see, they have some good bows. Uh, from the nap 20 you got when you were searching the armory. So you've got a few good guards kind of standing guard while you fell asleep, too. They kind of washed over. Nice. Um. And you think you see the same thing on your end? There are some guards kind of standing guard with those. Um. So would you guys all like to meet up and eat? Is that what your plan is? Yes, sir. Okay. So you make your way to the middle room, and Callie's there, and she's kind of serving out food to people at the tables. And you've got people, like, thinking, you guys, as you're walking up for saving them from the camp and everything. Um, and she goes, so you guys, um, we made it through the night. Your friend didn't show up. So that that. That's great. That's great. She goes, but honestly, we need to get some system set up here. Speaker 2 [00.10.00] Uh, these people need, like, proper jobs, proper pointing. I was hoping that you guys could sort them out, get soldiers where soldiers need to be, and carpenters or carpenters need to be. She's like, so, um, you guys up to do that today? Speaker 1 [00.10.14] Why not? Sure. Why not? Sure. Speaker 3 [00.10.18] I'm down to help some peeps Speaker 1 [00.10.20] down. Help some peeps. All right. So she says, um, okay, so who wants to sort the the like? Who could fight? Who wants to be? Who wants to sort that out? I will. Yeah, I figured you would. Yeah. So she goes, Duke, I know you're a you're you're a strong, strong fighter. She goes, so if you're wanting to take that on, take that on. She goes the if you want to just talk to like some of the guards around the area and talk to some of the people and see who's specialized in certain areas. You can get that set up. Uh, she goes, so who wants to talk about repairing and getting this place up and running? Please take. How did police take it with his hand raised? Yeah, I'll do it. Please take. Okay, so she goes. All right, so I just need you to kind of walk around the place, look for structural damage, look for things that need to be repaired. Kind of, uh, get a basis of what we need and come back to me and report it. Uh, she goes. So you Miss Muffin? Yes. Um. She goes, I noticed, um, that you crawled out of a cabinet this morning. She goes, I'm not going to ask about what you're doing. She goes, but, um, she Speaker 3 [00.11.19] has a new cabinet now, so I just want you to kind of keep an eye on the place. You know, you're you're sneaky. You've got, uh, your own little critique, your own little speciality about you. So you go. So I want you to just, like, keep an eye on the people. Keep an eye on the place, keep it on the down low. Make sure nothing's going wrong here. Nobody is lurking wrong. Make sure you're always lurking. Exactly. Because that might be your new title. Always lurking, Miss Muffin. Mhm. Um, so yeah, you guys can take off on your things whenever you're ready. You've eaten your morning breakfast and done your things. So who wants to go first. With their, uh, Speaker 1 [00.11.56] their morning routine of keeping this place Speaker 3 [00.11.58] running again. Check some things out, see if it needs repaired. Please state, give me a give me two perception checks as you're kind of walking through out the inner walls and checking out what looks broke, what does not. Now Speaker 1 [00.12.12] one. Now one. Okay. And Speaker 3 [00.12.16] a 17 plus five. Speaker 1 [00.12.18] 17 plus five. So you're walking through the like West end, South southern end. And you're not seeing much other than the original. What did we decide that was fireplace water cauldron thing outside fireplace. Yeah it is. Yeah. Oh yeah. Because we had a well over there at the north end. So yeah. You see, other than the already kind of slightly repaired, uh, fireplace, uh, you don't see much wrong with the West End. So when you move through the East End, you got a 17 plus five, right? You said, okay, so you're walking through and you're noticing, uh, like marks, but not like. It doesn't look like someone was like clawing or breaking up the wall. But you see where the wall is starting to separate slightly, like the stones in between. There's like big gaps where they're starting to separate as you're walking through the east and like northern end. But that's what you're seeing for kind of repairs there. Is there anything else you would like to kind of specially check out? Speaker 3 [00.13.16] So we checked out the walls. Yeah. Speaker 1 [00.13.19] The walls. Yeah. For the east and northern end, you kind of noticed there's weird spacings and gaps in between Speaker 3 [00.13.25] the walls. What about the infrastructure? Speaker 1 [00.13.28] Like. Like the outer side or like. Like inside? Like. Yeah. Yeah. So give me another perception check if you want to, like, search for building Speaker 3 [00.13.37] 14 plus 519. So the main hall I think is what you guys dubbed this big metal building. Um, the main hall looks actually pretty good and well shaped, especially with all the people in there that kind of got beds and everything set up, like, properly. So it's actually looking pretty good. The building itself does. All Speaker 1 [00.13.53] right. Cool. Okay. Who's next? I'm Speaker 4 [00.13.59] lurking around already looking around. Okay. Give me a. Stealth as you're kind of lurking around in the shadows, trying to not be seen and see what you can see. Speaker 1 [00.14.12] 2323 okay, roll me a perception check with advantage. 16 was that worth advantage? Yeah. Okay. So okay, so you're kind of, uh, posted up on like the northern where where would you be where would Miss Muffin be hiding? Like, how are you hiding in this place? Like, up on the walls, like, creeping behind the walls or you like under stairs? How would she be hiding you inside of a barrel? Just peeking out of it? A barrel box, no feet. Well, I'm, like, swiftly going about throughout the building and around and maybe might pass by some shelves and hide next to them for a while and Speaker 4 [00.14.58] just watch my surroundings as I'm working through. So no one really picked me up the whole Speaker 1 [00.15.02] time. Okay, so you're, uh, slinking your way cat like, through shelves and swiftly through passages, just trying to avoid the people and see what you can see. But when you get outside, you step out of the northern door, the main hall. So where you saw Dick doing his ritual next to the fireplace or a campfire outside? Um, you notice on the very northern end, past the little building that there's slight green goose, just kind of like stuck on the walls where you've been kind of like moving, but then you see the green goo and just disappear for a second. So with your stealth and your good perception, you are able to kind of quickly sneak up and you see some green goop slinking away inside of the wall. Speaker 4 [00.15.45] Go find your crystal. Speaker 3 [00.15.46] You'll find Duke crystal. Okay. Uh, you know that Duke was, uh, off talking to soldiers, trying to figure out who's warriors and who's not. So we'll go ahead and deal with Duke. Well, please take care. I must miss Muffin makes his way to you. Speaker 1 [00.15.59] Her way? Her way to you. Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. I'm getting excited. Speaker 3 [00.16.03] Talking. Am I supposed to be addressing this wall? Speaker 4 [00.16.06] Uh, well, that's up to you. I mean, you can go talk to Callie. She wanted you to report back to her and kind of figure out what it is. So we'll do Duke, and then we'll get to you with your finishing. So, Duke, you see about ten guys standing in front of you. Uh, they're all kind of standing there. And you notice. Give me a. What would this be? You know, insight maybe to kind of like, see who's who's what and what their real integrity is. Yeah. Romaine. Insight. Twice. Twice. Speaker 1 [00.16.37] Like roll a check. Not advantage. Speaker 3 [00.16.39] 18. Speaker 1 [00.16.41] Very good. Better than this. 14. 14. Okay. Pretty good. Yeah. So you're looking ahead, and you're kind of, uh. What Speaker 2 [00.16.48] what what does what does Duke say that kind of breaks the will of a person? You know what I mean? Like, what's the thing that he would say to this soldier to prove it there? Like, if he if he says something to them, what's going to make them break if their wills is strong enough or not strong enough? Speaker 4 [00.17.02] It's like a football pep talk, too. Yeah. Speaker 2 [00.17.05] Like kind of like you're you're seeing who's gonna cry when you yell at them and who does not cry. If you're good insight checks is what I'm getting. Get in your war cry. Yeah. Yeah. It's like Speaker 1 [00.17.15] you can see the little baby cries. Speaker 3 [00.17.16] Yeah. What is that? That ain't a war cry. Speaker 1 [00.17.19] Okay. Uh. So. Okay. Good. Good. Roll. So you see nine, eight out of the ten, uh, all kind of just, like, full blown. Like they're like, hey, we will defend this team. And then you see, like, the other two guys and they're kind of in the corner like, yeah, yeah, we'll defend this. We'll defend this keep. So like, you see, um, eight out of the ten are full blown ready to fight and defend, but two are kind of Speaker 3 [00.17.43] weak recruited the other two. Mop duty. Mop duty. Yeah. The other two say thank you. Thank you so much. They hand you their bows and they take off running to go get find Crowley and get them off duty. So, uh, yeah, with some good roles, you're effectively picked out the the good soldiers to defend and the ones that won't cowardly run away at the first sight of danger. So, yeah. Speaker 1 [00.18.04] Works out. Yeah. All right. They're gonna. They're gonna mop hard and you're gonna send them off. You see Miss Muffin running up and Miss Muffin. Oh, my God, you fucking won't believe what I just saw. Speaker 3 [00.18.15] And that is, Speaker 4 [00.18.17] uh, green goop, which means he's Speaker 1 [00.18.19] here. Okay. Where was it? Let's see now. I didn't hear what you Speaker 3 [00.18.46] said. Where was it? Speaker 1 [00.18.47] Where was I? The north end of the wall. The Speaker 4 [00.18.49] north end of the wall. Speaker 3 [00.18.51] Is that all the cracks that I was seeing earlier? It was. But you were not with them yet. You went back to Callie. Scratch Speaker 1 [00.18.58] that. So you guys go into the north End wall to check out? Speaker 2 [00.19.01] Yes, we go patrol. Okay. Miss Muffet and Duke. Crystal. Unlikely team. Speaker 4 [00.19.06] Panicking me? Speaker 1 [00.19.09] Yes. There's hyperventilating happening. Okay, Duke. Uh, give me a. Investigation or perception with advantage. Since you're kind of messing up and saw it and is directing you, guiding you where to look and you know a thing or two about you do poof. Speaker 2 [00.19.26] Seven. Seven. So you walk up and you look at the wall and you're not seeing like, no, you're seeing no traces. You're like, there's there's no traces of green goo. Either Miss Muffins lost her mind or he's really slick. So that's up to Duke Crystal to decide on that. But yeah, you're seeing no signs of anything. Speaker 3 [00.19.44] He's he's become good. He's Speaker 1 [00.19.46] he's a master. He's he's ascended. He Speaker 3 [00.19.49] doesn't even leave slug trails anymore. Speaker 1 [00.19.52] All right. So please stay. We do the old GTA swap and move back to you as you're, like, 40ft away. Yeah. It's like. Yeah, he's right there inside the building next to you. Um, you're talking to Callie. Uh, what are you reporting? Speaker 2 [00.20.09] I noticed some, uh, pretty big cracks in the walls. We probably need to work on filling that in with some Speaker 1 [00.20.17] cement. Cement? Um, what do they have? That's what I was trying to think. Like taller. I think that's the thing they had. It was probably like they got stones. They had Speaker 3 [00.20.26] ancient made, ancient cement version of whatever they got. Uh, but, yeah, she she goes, okay, so the wall's a little strong. She goes, I mean, I kind of guessed that being that, um, uh, you know, the big attack from all the undead that just, you know, onslaught of us and kill most of us, and, you know, all that. So I would just expect it to be close. Because, uh, so would you be willing to go figure out who could fix that? Because I don't really know who all these people are. I haven't I mean, we don't know them all yet. So do you want to just kind of talk to some of them and see who can be some good carpenters? I can do that. All right. So you walk outside and you're seeing a couple. How many people did we bring back? Like 20? Yeah, Speaker 1 [00.21.06] 25. There's five, ten, 15, 20, 20. Like Speaker 3 [00.21.09] 26 people, I think including that one guard Speaker 1 [00.21.13] guy. Yes. Yeah. And the guard you had. So yeah, there's, uh, about ten, ten or so people standing outside around the campfire. You're seeing a couple of them with the handprints on their face. So, you know, they're already followers. Um, give me an insight check Speaker 3 [00.21.26] as well. Don't put them in the kitchen, guys. Don't work the kitchen. Speaker 1 [00.21.31] We already have kitchen people. Oh, there's no one as delicious food. They must be great cooks. Not everyone Speaker 3 [00.21.36] else, though, man, I've seen cooks. Uh, Speaker 1 [00.21.38] 1313. Uh, won't be too sorry. A big group of people. Speaker 3 [00.21.44] Uh, 19 plus Speaker 1 [00.21.46] eight. Okay, that's a big one. Okay. Jesus. That's like almost 30. All right. So, uh. Yeah. You. You're kind of looking over this crowd and you're seeing a couple of them with, uh, about. Okay, so you're looking at this group of people, ten or so people, and you see about half of them look like they're good carpenters, and the other half look like they are not. Their hands are soft. Their hands the thumbs aren't smashed. They look weak. So you've got about five or so that are carpenters Speaker 3 [00.22.13] who, uh, who's masonry? Probably the hard, calloused hands somewhere. Someone of the five. They're the tradesmen. Essentially. We need masons. Speaker 1 [00.22.22] We need masons. So, uh. Yeah. You see, Speaker 3 [00.22.25] um, we have carpenters too. Yeah, yeah, well, you gotta see them walk up and they go. We are, we are we we, uh, five are trained in various forms of work like this. You know, where we can, Carpenter. We can. What is it? We can. Carpenter. So we can. They know. They know carpentry. They know Carpenter. We know carpentry. And we know a little bit of masonry. So I mean, their tradesmen clearly, uh, mentioned that you need, uh, some cracks filled. I'm sure we can get that handle. Um, so you can put them to work if you'd like. Yeah. Let's do that. Speaker 1 [00.22.55] Okay. I will go for them. Okay. That sounds Speaker 2 [00.23.01] great. This sucks. Um, so. Yeah. No, they they they see, you see, the work looks pretty decent on. I wrote something else, but, um, you see, the work is actually decent. They're kind of mixing and doing some D&D versions of mixing, uh, cement and stuff and getting some cracks and getting to work. Uh, so now that you've completed that, what would you guys like to do? Speaker 1 [00.23.21] The Duke, and it's nothing. You have suspicions of probable being in the area. Police dig. You've got repairs being done on the building. I'm scared. You guys like to do this? I'll keep patrolling around for the key. Okay, I keep trying. I'll say it's been like a good couple hours of. Just like, you know, you were talking and training and looking and figuring things out. So it's getting to be about midday ish. Almost. So give me a round of perception check. Are you just patrolling? Yeah. Anybody else doing anything Speaker 4 [00.23.51] special? I slipped back inside to the eye and keep and keep lurking around the insides. Speaker 1 [00.23.56] Okay, so, Duke, give me a perception, Miss Muffin. Give me stealth, please. Take. What are you doing? I'm just kind Speaker 3 [00.24.01] of scoping around, making sure everybody's doing their Speaker 4 [00.24.03] job. Okay? Ooh. Not 2017. So. Really, Speaker 1 [00.24.06] 30? Okay, so, Nat 20. So really 30. All right. So nothing. You are very hidden, like, almost invisible inside of this place right now when you're moving around here. So give me a perception check with advantage. 1111. You don't see much. You don't see much. That is great. Um, you don't see a whole lot. You're kind of. You're seeing people walking by real quickly, but you're not noticing anything out of the ordinary special about these people walking around panicking. Yeah. You're panicking. You got the panic going on. Um. Roll me a never mind. I'm not going to make you do that. You got an eight point. I'll take that away. Dude. Crystal, what did you do on your perception check? 17. 17. Okay, so you're walking around the outer walls and out on the eastern side of the wall. You're looking off kind of into the distance, and you're seeing not quite a Galapagos type stuff, but you're seeing weird, uh, forms of, like, other groups around the area, like you're starting to see, like, spots of traces. Yeah, traces of goop around the outer areas and the trees and stuff. Speaker 3 [00.25.26] What is the color, exactly? Speaker 1 [00.25.28] Um, when you got 17, uh, you're noticing that there is a greenish hue, but it's not quite green. It's like this greenish, darker, like different shade, different shade of of Galapagos, if that's what you're asking. Yeah. Speaker 4 [00.25.43] Mm. Speaker 1 [00.25.44] Okay. Speaker 3 [00.25.46] I guess I investigate that a little Speaker 1 [00.25.48] closer. If I Speaker 3 [00.25.49] can reach some of it. Yeah. It's like outside the wall. So you'd have to go out of the keep. Sure. Okay. All right. I'm a tank. All right, so you, uh, are you just going out the main gate door, or are you going to, like, climb down the wall or, like, main gate? Main gate. Okay. So you go down through the gate and you exit out the edge, and you're going to go around to the where you saw the green groups. Give me a investigation role. Now that you're kind of up close and you're seeing these green splotches like all over the place. Uh, Speaker 2 [00.26.19] 1010. Okay, so I don't need you to roll very high for this because it's pretty obvious. So you walk up to, like, the green goo piles you're seeing, and you're starting to notice that there's, like, bits of clothing and bits of, um, pieces of, um, clothing, clothing and stuff, just kind of like scattered around the area with the green goop. Mm. Speaker 1 [00.26.43] Well, let's Speaker 4 [00.26.44] say he killed people. Speaker 3 [00.26.46] Were there any guards outside, though? Speaker 1 [00.26.48] Keep outside the walls? No, they were all on top. Speaker 3 [00.26.52] Just making sure it wasn't, uh, their clothes. Speaker 1 [00.26.55] Um. Well, no. Your investigation. Okay. What would you like to do? Uh. Speaker 3 [00.27.02] Okay, so keep looking around the outside to keep keep looking Speaker 1 [00.27.04] for any of them. Okay. Give me a perception check again. Now you're kind of walking down. Are you like walking down the path of, like, the tree line? Or you just kind of like scouting further out into the trees Speaker 3 [00.27.17] there, like along the tree line. So Speaker 1 [00.27.19] I kind of stay on the edge of the wall, down on the edge. Okay. Speaker 3 [00.27.23] Um, the five Speaker 2 [00.27.26] five perspective do not see much of anything else. As you're traveling through these trees, you're you're losing almost the sight of the green goop. Speaker 3 [00.27.34] I guess I'll turn back and head towards the gate. Head Speaker 1 [00.27.37] towards the gate. Okay. All right. Speaker 2 [00.27.40] So you get back to the gate and you see, uh, there are two guards standing at the gates, like as you walk in. One of the guards is gone. Speaker 1 [00.27.54] As you walk in, there's only one guard standing there. Speaker 3 [00.27.57] I'm going to ask the other guard. Speaker 1 [00.27.59] Where's the guard who was posted over here? Uh, like guard transit. And he goes, oh, dude. Duke. Uh um uh, well, he, uh. Reginald um, he he went to go pee. I don't know where he went. He went to go pee. He said he had to pee. We figured you went outside. So, like, you know, it was good. Um, so, uh, I don't really know where he's at, sir. Well. I'm me. You're not me. Uh, Speaker 3 [00.28.24] which direction did he go? Exactly. He went, uh, northern. Northern direction. Like he. I mean, I'm assuming he just went to kind of, like, pee behind a wall or something, but I don't know where he went. He didn't come back. I guess I'll go that way, I Speaker 1 [00.28.35] guess that way. Okay. Yeah. You hear the gates close behind you and you start Speaker 3 [00.28.40] to, uh. As I walk away, I tell him to go inside the gate and not come outside the Speaker 1 [00.28.45] gate. Stay inside the gate. Yes. Okay, so you want to go, like, be on the air? Like only open. Okay. For Speaker 3 [00.28.50] me when I show back up. Speaker 1 [00.28.52] Okay. Yeah. Speaker 3 [00.28.53] I'm trying to track him down. Okay. Tell the other guard to go in so he doesn't vanish as Speaker 1 [00.28.58] well. Yeah. Got it. All right, so you go to do that now, we're going to fade back to you guys. That's muffin and plastic. What do you guys want to do as you're inside here. You've got people kind of working on things. Duke isn't really to be seen. He hasn't really told anybody what's going on, what he's doing. So you guys are kind of just inside the key. What would you like to do? Miss muffin, you're hiding. So if you want to stay hiding, you can do Speaker 3 [00.29.19] that. I'll patrol the upper wall. Speaker 1 [00.29.22] Okay. Keep Speaker 3 [00.29.23] an eye out for things. Speaker 4 [00.29.26] I'm switching up my hiding spots as I see fit. Speaker 1 [00.29.29] So you're gonna stay hiding? Yeah. Okay, I'll give you that, because Speaker 4 [00.29.32] I'm gonna listen and just kind of lurk Speaker 1 [00.29.34] around. Okay. Please stick. Give me a very important perception check. 15. 15. Okay. You're, uh. You're looking as you're kind of patrolling, and you see Duke kind of walking towards, like, this northern area of, uh, the camp. I'm pointing in real life, like he's over there, but, um, yeah, he's walking to the northern area of the camp outside the walls. But you notice, you see what looks like a person walking, like in the tree line behind Duke. Like, he's just kind of walking. And then there's a guy, you see, kind of like slinking through the trees behind him. Would you like to. Uh, Dukes. About, uh. Distance wise, he's about 80ft from you because you're up on the wall. Uh, Speaker 3 [00.30.32] I don't know. I'll try to yell for him. Like, watch your back, bro. Speaker 1 [00.30.37] All right, Duke, roll the perception check. See if you hear him yelling from so far away. Speaker 3 [00.30.43] Seven, Speaker 1 [00.30.43] seven. You hear nothing. You hear. You hear the wind blowing through the trees, leaves rustling. Uh, so at least you're still kind of watching, like, dude, you just see, dude. Keep walking. He, um. So, Duke, I need you to roll me a dexterity saving, um, uh, the games again that I can do. 16, 16. Okay, so this before you even kind of realize you don't hear the yell, so you just see the figure of this, like, man come running out of the trees and dives at you, but you kind of jump out of the way when he turns around and looks you in the face. He's almost like a zombified figure, just kind of like standing there, but you see green goop, like pouring out of his eyes and out of his mouth and like, it's just oozing out of him. And then, uh, the green goop kind of goes, oh, shit! And just fades away and the body drops and the goose starts slinking into the castle's teeth wall. Oh, Speaker 3 [00.31.36] I'm going to follow the dude like Speaker 1 [00.31.38] kids. Run back to the main gate. Yeah, run all the way back down. Try and keep up with it. Okay, so you got him. Did he go over the wall? It went through the wall. Through the wall? Yeah, like into the cracks. I'm raging Speaker 3 [00.31.49] and flying over the wall. Speaker 1 [00.31.51] Okay, that's a good one. All right, so you rage and, uh, nobody's around. You ready to make the save for the fire explosion that happened? So, yeah, I figured, uh. Yeah. You rage out, go! Demon mode. Your wings sprout out. You can fly up if you like to fly. Yes. Okay. You fly up on the top of the castle wall, and you look down and you see just a normal, like, green, gelatinous cube, kind of like. Slinking across the ground, but you've noticed a actual gelatinous cube is out in the open on the northern end of the wall, where it slipped through the cracks. What would you like to do with this full blown attack? How big is it, exactly? Gelatinous cube. That one? Um, it is a large creature, so it takes up ten foot, Speaker 3 [00.32.36] but it doesn't look Speaker 1 [00.32.37] like it doesn't look clavicles. Size big and scary, but it's decently sized. Big, yes. And how far away is it? I'm flying. Uh, it is right over the edge of the wall that you're at, so it's only about 15ft from you. I mean, it's like ten foot down. Speaker 3 [00.32.54] I can either absolutely smoke him Speaker 1 [00.32.57] or I can try and talk to him, because it seemed like the little piece of him that he possessed someone with was able to at least speak. I don't know if Speaker 3 [00.33.07] they could speak or not. Speaker 1 [00.33.08] Yeah. You don't know much about this gelatinous cube. Speaker 3 [00.33.10] Just know that this one doesn't quite look like Speaker 4 [00.33.12] Lavagirl. What if it's a Galapagos baby? Speaker 1 [00.33.15] Mm. Speaker 3 [00.33.17] Does it look like it has the guard inside of it? Uh, Speaker 1 [00.33.21] no. The body was the guard. Speaker 3 [00.33.24] Oh. Oh, yes. The body. Sorry, I should have said that earlier, but yes, the body that came after you was the guard. It was controlling his body with it. I'm going to throw my lightning javelin at it. The lightning javelin at it. Okay. All right. That was all the info Speaker 1 [00.33.38] I needed. What do I need to do? I Speaker 3 [00.33.41] don't know. It's your weapon. Speaker 1 [00.33.44] Um, Speaker 3 [00.33.44] I don't think I had the time to write everything down on Speaker 1 [00.33.47] it. Clavicle is just a was in the middle of dialoguing my way out of the camp. Yes. That's me. Okay, so. Do you have one? When you hurl it and speak it's command word. It transforms into a bolt of lightning, forming a line five feet wide that extends out from you to a target within 120ft. Each creature in the line, excluding you, make a target. DC 13 dexterity saving throw or take four d6. Okay, so he needs to make a DC 13 Dex save. I Speaker 3 [00.34.18] gotta use the command word I Speaker 1 [00.34.19] guess. Yeah. Which deez nuts. Yes. There you go. Deez nuts. He fails. Yeah. He's a gelatinous cube. 46 of lightning damage. Okay. And your javelin is. Goes, like, right through them and just sticks to the ground on the other side. Three gelatinous. Nine. Ten. Speaker 3 [00.34.45] 1111 Speaker 1 [00.34.46] damage. It'll be better. Speaker 2 [00.34.51] Okay, so yeah, this lightning javelin flies through him and just like out the back of him. And then lightning explodes through him and he kind of like, disperses a little bit and then forms back together. And he, like, turns up to you and he goes, daddy wants you dead and looks like you did, I told Speaker 1 [00.35.07] you. Roll an issue. Oh. Speaker 3 [00.35.29] Daddy. Speaker 1 [00.35.30] Once you did everybody roll initiative. Cause please stick your up on the wall. You can kind of see. You can see what's going down. And miss nothing you're hiding. Speaker 3 [00.35.38] Now I gotta kill his son and him because he sent his. You can't kill my camp members here. The key that ain't got ain't gonna Speaker 4 [00.35.45] fly. 21. Speaker 3 [00.35.47] Okay, two plus 3 or 2 plus one. Speaker 1 [00.35.52] 17. 15 plus two. Okay, let's think a little better. All right. Uh, sorry. Come again? Do. Crystal. 17. 17, Speaker 3 [00.36.04] please. Two plus one. Speaker 1 [00.36.06] Three. One. It's nothing. Speaker 3 [00.36.08] 21. 21. Call him. He got a one minus four. So. Jesus. Um. That's bad. Negative three. Speaker 1 [00.36.20] Um. Duke? Yes. Yes. You are up first. Okay, dude. Are we? No, Miss Muffin. Sorry. You're up first, Miss Muffin. Um, what are you doing? Because you're hiding in an unknown location, so. Where do you pop out at? But I know this is happening. Um, yeah, I'd say, you know. Okay. You're seeing. You just heard lightning bolt like, crack and explode inside of the northern end of the key. Yeah. Speaker 4 [00.36.45] I, uh, obviously am gonna run to the situation. I was inside, Speaker 1 [00.36.50] inside the building. Yeah. Oh, so then you are further away. You are 40ft away, maybe 45ft away, because you are inside the building. He's at the northern end of the building or the whole key. That's why I was Speaker 4 [00.37.06] wondering if I even knew what was happening. Speaker 1 [00.37.08] You can definitely know. Something's up. You heard lightning explode? Yeah. Okay. Speaker 4 [00.37.11] Yeah. So I roll out of the bookshelf I was hiding on. Okay. And take off stealthily running through the halls till I get down Speaker 2 [00.37.19] there. Okay, so your movement speed is what? 30. 30. So if you don't use Dash, you can make it almost to him. He's about 15ft from you. Oh I'll dash. Okay. But stealthily if you're going to use. Speaker 1 [00.37.35] You can't do that. If you're gonna use your dash, you can get right up on him if that's what you're wanting. Okay. Okay. Speaker 4 [00.37.42] Write up on Speaker 1 [00.37.44] this gelatinous cube. I Speaker 4 [00.37.46] just wanted to come up to the situation. Speaker 1 [00.37.47] Okay, then don't you have to use your dash? That's what I was saying. If you don't use Dash, you're close enough. You can do about 15ft away. Gotcha. Okay. So what else would you like to do? You have a bonus action since you did not use Dash. Anything else special? Speaker 2 [00.38.01] Oh, boy. I don't know if there's anything I can do. Speaker 4 [00.38.06] I mean, he said what he said. Speaker 1 [00.38.09] I said what I said. Speaker 4 [00.38.14] Ready up an attack to help. But what kind of attack? To Speaker 1 [00.38.17] help? I think help is like, you give advantage to somebody. It's like you can distract it. And you know what I mean? Perfect. Okay, so you're going to try to cause a distraction. Speaker 4 [00.38.28] Ready up my distraction in case anyone needs my help. Speaker 2 [00.38.31] Okay. I don't know if that's quite how it works, but that's fine. I don't even know for sure. It's fine. You ready? You ready a distraction? Um, give me a performance check Speaker 1 [00.38.43] to see how distracting you are. So go ahead and do that. Next up is your teammates. Speaker 4 [00.38.51] 13. No, Speaker 1 [00.38.55] 1414 okay, well, I got a 15 on his level of being distracted. So it does not work very well. He's still focused on murdering dude. So that bringing that uh next up is dude. We just saw something like clap our hands and wave and try to scream at it. And it didn't Speaker 4 [00.39.12] work. Over here. Big. Speaker 1 [00.39.13] Ugly. Speaker 3 [00.39.16] I guess I'm gonna fly down while I'm still enraged and hit him with my old greatsword. Okay, Speaker 2 [00.39.25] give it to him. Speaker 3 [00.39.28] That is a 19 plus nine. Is that Speaker 1 [00.39.30] it? Yes. Four. Speaker 3 [00.39.32] Four. Six. So ten damage. Speaker 1 [00.39.34] Ten damage. Yeah. Okay. See you hitting. Anything else you got? Speaker 3 [00.39.40] Uh, I got my second attack. And I think with that action, I will use thunderclap. Speaker 1 [00.39.48] Okay, okay. Bring out the warlock. Is that the cantrip, or is that a that's a Speaker 2 [00.39.54] cantrip. Yeah. Each creature in a five foot emanation originating from you must exceed a constitution. Saving throw or take. It's two d6. Since I'm above level five of Thunder damage, the spell's thunder sound can be heard up to 100ft away. Speaker 1 [00.40.10] Well, yours is level one because Speaker 3 [00.40.12] your well, this one doesn't go by spell slot, it goes by a player player level. So. Well yeah, I guess that's technically true since my warlock level is only one. Okay, but it's listed in here is Speaker 1 [00.40.24] two d6. That's fine as two d6. Now follow the Speaker 3 [00.40.27] rules. Yeah, that's that's what I Speaker 1 [00.40.28] was gonna save. You got that one? Yep. It was a 13 ton save. So there are Speaker 3 [00.40.34] two d6 for him. Five, five, Speaker 1 [00.40.40] ten, ten, 11, ten and ten. Yeah. You guys are slashing away and you're doing a good you're doing good damage. Seeing chunks kind of fly off of him. Um, and then next up is. Speaker 3 [00.40.57] Yes it is. Okay. So you're kind of like taking slashes out of this thing, and you notice, uh, Galapagos, your main man, he kind of just bursts out of the stones in the walls, and you're seeing him like he's like, overflow and land. And he kind of grows up big and tall. He's like, Duke, you're Speaker 1 [00.41.16] hurting my babies. Now I want to kill you even more. Speaker 3 [00.41.21] Your babies were killing members of my camp. But you. But you and your accounts. Speaker 4 [00.41.29] When did he have Speaker 1 [00.41.30] babies? Are you trying to talk him down? Are Speaker 3 [00.41.33] you? How's it? Tempting, but he sounds like he's just Speaker 1 [00.41.35] being a dick. Yeah, I'd say if you want to try to spend, like, an action next turn to persuade him to calm down. You can do that. For like a bonus action or whatever it is. Speaker 3 [00.41.44] I can see that plays. Yeah. Let's see, Speaker 2 [00.41.46] that plays out all right. Speaker 1 [00.41.48] So that's a lot of those turn. So let me see what he can do here. He comes out of the wall. So that means he would be right behind you. Miss muffin. So you might be toasted, pal. You might be goofed. You might be toasted. What? Where? I had him set up to pop out. Speaker 4 [00.42.04] Do we have a map to look at? Mhm. Okay. I need to see this. Speaker 3 [00.42.09] You did? You did. Hey, I'm not giving up today. I won't die. I will see you tomorrow. Speaker 1 [00.42.21] You might be one of the only ones that could be safe from him just because you need dicks. Speaker 3 [00.42.26] Uh, okay, I see, I see thunderclap Speaker 4 [00.42.30] inside of me. Speaker 3 [00.42.32] I was Speaker 4 [00.42.33] wrong. So the one right in front of me is about to beat Speaker 1 [00.42.36] my ass. Uh, yeah. Speaker 4 [00.42.38] And that's glob. That's his stuff. Speaker 1 [00.42.40] It's probably a big giant. Menacing. His eyes are bulging. He's got the red veins pulsing. Okay, Speaker 4 [00.42.45] well, my ready up action was to help, but I can still use my uncanny dodge. Speaker 1 [00.42.51] Um, yeah, you might end up having to. So make me a dick save. As as he kind of flips out of this wall and immediately looks at you at Duke and tries to just move through you, Miss Muffin. Speaker 4 [00.43.01] Not 20 plus four. Speaker 3 [00.43.03] Wow. You got lucky. Yeah, because. So I'm slit. He goes to move through you, and you kind of just, like, slink, like through the edge of the wall and just barely get past him. And he just keeps moving his full speed towards Duke. So. Very good. Um. Sorry, dude. That's fine. Speaker 1 [00.43.17] That's fine. I'll deal with him. Uh, I need you to make actually feel something. Okay. So you're still going to take on a failed save three d6 acid damage? Wait a minute. Speaker 4 [00.43.34] Me? Speaker 1 [00.43.35] Oh, never mind, never mind. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. No, no, no, you got. You got out of the way. Yeah. I'm not playing with that said. Never mind. Yeah. So you're able to slink out of the way, and he moves his full speed just past you and at Duke. So next up, just please take suck jelly. You're kind of up on the upper wall. Uh, you are about 25ft from Globule and Duke and Gelatinous Cube. They're both kind of swarming around him now, moving towards Duke. Speaker 3 [00.44.01] All right, so they're all kind of dashing Speaker 1 [00.44.03] at him? Yeah, they're on the hit. They're on. They're here for Speaker 3 [00.44.06] assassination. Yeah, I'm just gonna guiding bolt. Which one would you like? A ghoul. Okay, um, that. You gotta make the attack roll, I think with that one. Yeah, yeah. Speaker 1 [00.44.16] All right, let me Speaker 2 [00.44.17] use my spell slot. All right. Speaker 1 [00.44.26] Bale. It's Speaker 2 [00.44.28] two. Two. Yeah, that is not it. Speaker 1 [00.44.32] Big bad job. Speaker 3 [00.44.33] All right. Bonus action. Spiritual weapon. Speaker 1 [00.44.35] Okay. Are you spawning it? Speaker 3 [00.44.38] Uh, right in front of him? It's gonna be like a trash can. It's gonna try and stop the trash, I think. Speaker 1 [00.44.44] Yeah. Okay, so you're gonna spawn it, like. Right? Kind of like in between him and Duke. Yeah. Speaker 2 [00.44.48] Okay. Speaker 1 [00.44.51] All right, that does spawn it, and it gets to make its attack right when it spawns. Yeah, yeah. Okay, so make your attack roll. Speaker 3 [00.45.00] Eight plus four. 12. Speaker 1 [00.45.02] Yeah. Uh, what'd you say? Eight plus four. No, sorry. Wait. What does Speaker 4 [00.45.08] squirrel animal friendship do? Makes animals friends with you for a time. Can I use that on Speaker 1 [00.45.14] Goblin? He's not an animal. Speaker 4 [00.45.17] That's rude. We're all animals, Speaker 3 [00.45.19] okay? No, this is a monster. Speaker 1 [00.45.21] So it's Cube's turn. The monster. Uh, he is going to use a pseudo pod attack as his like arm kind of comes out and tries to whip you. Nate. Dude. I mean, 13 plus four. Yep. That hit. Yeah. Okay, that's three d6 one. That's five five and one 211 plus 213. That's a damage reduction. Speaker 2 [00.45.53] Ah. Speaker 1 [00.45.55] That's it. Speaker 2 [00.45.59] See? Whips him with his tentacles. Okay. Back to the top of the round, I believe. Yes. Duke. Miss muffin, Speaker 1 [00.46.08] Cloud Ghoul just ran through you or ran past you and tried to run through you. Speaker 4 [00.46.12] He ran past me. He went up to Duke crystal. Then Free Stick Speaker 1 [00.46.16] did what I could. She walked me with his wiener. And then the baby gelatinous cube smacked Duke with his Speaker 4 [00.46.22] hands. Alrighty. So I'm not sure what I can do in this situation because I don't want to fight him. I want to let him to love Speaker 2 [00.46.30] us. You can try to talk him down. That's up to you. But he'll use your action to like. Engage and actually try to talk him down Speaker 1 [00.46.39] so you could fail or you could succeed and make it. Make it easier. Make it different things happen. But how Speaker 4 [00.46.45] close am I to it? Make it more Speaker 1 [00.46.46] average. You. You are about ten 15ft. Okay. Ten foot. Speaker 3 [00.46.52] So I'm gonna walk up to him, okay? Speaker 1 [00.46.55] Smart. And Speaker 4 [00.46.56] I'm gonna say I'm gonna stay about five feet from him. So I'm just gonna walk up about five more foot. Speaker 1 [00.47.02] Okay, so you're within five foot of him? Speaker 4 [00.47.04] Yeah. Okay. And I'm gonna be like, wait, wait wait, wait. Will you please talk to me for a second? Speaker 3 [00.47.09] Uh, rolling persuasion check with disadvantage. You know, you're about to get up, and you are not to. Crystal. I can't see you. Speaker 4 [00.47.17] It doesn't matter. He remembers me. He walks. He walked by you to get to Duke. He has no care. Have you tried walking through? He tried to walk through you. Shut up! What'd you tell me Speaker 1 [00.47.26] to roll? Um. Persuasion. Oh, Speaker 2 [00.47.28] persuasion. Okay. Disadvantage. Speaker 1 [00.47.34] For being not Duke. 11. 11. Yeah, because Speaker 4 [00.47.40] I rolled a five and then an 11. But then I got a plus Speaker 1 [00.47.43] six, so that's 11. You say this, and he kind of like. You see his eyes, like looking forward. They just go, like, turn around and poke out the back of his head and he goes, shut the fuck up, miss Muffet. And his eyes kind of go like, pop back around to the forward side of his head and looks back at Duke. Okay, so that was your, uh, action. Anything with the bonus action? Speaker 4 [00.48.04] I mean, like, yeah, he didn't really hurt me. He just told me to shut up. But he heard Speaker 1 [00.48.08] me. I heard you, yes, you heard you. He did not hurt Speaker 4 [00.48.11] you. I'll be like. Right. Whatever, man. You knew we were coming back. You just weren't patient enough. As I'm backing away. Speaker 1 [00.48.19] Oh, you're backing away? Yeah. Okay. So you just backed away from him while in the attack range, so he's gonna get an opportunity attack? Yeah. Speaker 3 [00.48.29] That range is five feet. Speaker 2 [00.48.31] So I'm pretty sure you chose your words carefully. You stepped into the air. You're gonna get him. You're gonna get a smack from when you're 11. Plus four. Speaker 4 [00.48.43] 15 is my armored cloud matches. Yes. Three d6 to dodge. Speaker 1 [00.48.50] What is uncanny? Dodge, do I forget? Speaker 4 [00.48.53] Um, let me read it to you, sir. When an attacker that you can see hits you with an attack, you can use your reaction to have the attacks damage Speaker 1 [00.49.02] against you. Okay. Yeah, you can use Uncanny dodge. Um, so that was two in the first roll. Five on the second. Two on the third. So. Five. Six. Seven. Eight. Nine. Uh. So nine halved Speaker 4 [00.49.18] four Speaker 1 [00.49.19] damage. So that was that. Not a big deal. Nothing failed. Do Crystal return. He'll Speaker 4 [00.49.26] think about what I said though, and he'll remember it for a little bit. Maybe it'll calm him down. He'll be like, wait, they were coming back. Speaker 3 [00.49.37] I'll use my first action to ask him if he wants to talk about this. Instead of fighting to the death. Speaker 1 [00.49.44] Okay. Uh, we're all persuasion with advantage because you are doing. Speaker 3 [00.49.49] Crit. Really? Speaker 1 [00.49.51] Yeah. All right. So I'm going to vote for him. He goes. What is there to talk about, Duke? You left me. Speaker 3 [00.50.00] I had to work. I had to go out on the job. It ain't permanent. Speaker 1 [00.50.06] We are faking coming back. His eyes shut up, and then he popped back and said, I don't like you. And he goes. He goes, well, why didn't you tell me? Why didn't you come back? You guys just stayed out partying and now you own your own place. I was I was gonna sell drugs, and now I just want to kill. Speaker 2 [00.50.26] Though we were partying, we had to fight off a bunch of undead waves of army to come Speaker 3 [00.50.33] actually claim this place. So Speaker 1 [00.50.34] without me, they wouldn't let us leave. Only another persuasion check with advantage because you're just gonna screw you guys to get stuck on strike. Let's see. Speaker 3 [00.50.47] 17. Speaker 1 [00.50.49] 17. Okay. Very good. All right, so he goes. You were you were you? Well, I'm. Well, why were you. I don't know what to do because I was going to come here and kill you. So what are we supposed to do about this? My baby's hurt. Speaker 3 [00.51.06] I mean, I can give your baby a healing potion and you guys can just hang out. Speaker 1 [00.51.11] Um. He goes honestly, no, that's not even my baby. He, like, slips over to it and it just, like, fused it back into him. Yeah. And it becomes one, one like a lava goal again. And he's like, I, I goes, I'm real sorry I killed your guard. I was I was mad, I killed him. I also killed the Dark Haven. I killed some Lords alliance. I killed some dwarves. Um, they like his eyes. Like poke out the side of his head. He looks up at you, stick like, up at the top. And he goes, I also killed Lilith. She's dead. He, like, poked his Speaker 2 [00.51.39] head. Oh Speaker 4 [00.51.42] my God. Speaker 1 [00.51.44] He's like, well, he's like, I was just angry. I was angry, didn't know what to do. I'll Speaker 3 [00.51.48] forgive you if you turn over to the guard room key. Don't do that. Speaker 4 [00.51.52] Don't do it. Don't Speaker 3 [00.51.53] do it. You did well, he goes. Honestly, I don't listen to Miss Muffin. But Duke, I'll listen to when he goes. But I just thought, I can't do that. Please take. But, um, that's great for you. If you're doing some God room key stuff. Speaker 1 [00.52.04] I want a key clavicle. Did you did you Speaker 3 [00.52.06] at least get any good stuff off of all the people you ate that isn't dissolved yet? Speaker 1 [00.52.12] He goes, well, it took me a while to get here and a lot of jumping around, but I probably got some stuff I could shake out of my gut. Um, so we're going to do some rolls then on the table here. He has no good. He is good, he is good. He's on my he's good. Okay, let me go to Speaker 3 [00.52.31] this here. He's bipolar. It's fine. Speaker 4 [00.52.34] I still love him because he's a goop. Speaker 1 [00.52.38] He's our goop. I'll just say some goblins in the Speaker 4 [00.52.41] forest. Got the guard. There's no one else Speaker 1 [00.52.44] to say. Sorry. Speaker 4 [00.52.46] Don't kill Lilith. Speaker 1 [00.52.48] Okay, so. Give me a d20 roll to see what, uh. Or. No, give me a d4 roll. Sorry, sorry, sorry. Speaker 2 [00.53.03] Each of you. Oh. Shakes out some stuff. A d4. One. Speaker 4 [00.53.10] Two. Speaker 3 [00.53.11] Four. Four. Speaker 2 [00.53.12] Two. One. Two. You got a one? Okay. It's just a matter of what table it's from. Speaker 3 [00.53.21] Okay, now let's roll the sweet, sexy D 100. Yes. Speaker 1 [00.53.26] Yeah. Are we doing the B roll? The Speaker 4 [00.53.28] big one. All of us are just the Duke. Speaker 1 [00.53.32] Well, we all will get a roll. Oh, we all get well, Duke. First I'm on his. Okay. There you. Speaker 3 [00.53.41] Maybe it's April Speaker 1 [00.53.44] 2222. Speaker 3 [00.53.46] Lucky, lucky. Dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun. Okay, so he kind of like, like, shakes his body a bunch and you see some stuff kind of falling out. But you see one real good thing for him. Speaker 1 [00.54.00] It's called a. Yeah. Let me look at what it says here. Oh my God. Speaker 4 [00.54.08] Chicken wing. Speaker 1 [00.54.11] Okay, so you get this thing and it looks like a little, uh, a little figurine, like. It's like a little statue. Um, when you grab it, it, like, vibrates with power, and you can almost feel like something's alive inside this thing. So if you take a. So it would be like warlock spell attack. If you take your magic action to throw the figurine to a point on the ground within 60ft of yourself, the figurine becomes a living creature specified in the figurines description below. So I need you to rotate. Does it change? Configuring Speaker 3 [00.54.47] Pokemon so it doesn't break. It's not one use. Or is it? Is it one Speaker 1 [00.54.52] use? Um, no, it's. I think once it's done, it goes back into the thing like it's literally a pokeball. Ooh ooh. Pokeball. That's cool. Speaker 3 [00.55.02] Okay. And it's a random Pokemon monster. Okay. So each each thing has a certain amount of time that it can survive and it's alive. So, like, really strong stuff. Probably not very long Speaker 1 [00.55.13] and weaker stuff for longer. But you will know what happens when you throw it. But I'm not going to tell you what comes out of it Speaker 3 [00.55.18] until is that kind of like the thing in the D&D game where it's like a different animal every time you had the bag of wonders? I think that one time bag of tricks or something. Okay, so you gather that figure, a figurine of wondrous power. Um. That's cool. Speaker 1 [00.55.34] Miss muffin, what did you get? For two, wasn't it? Yeah, Speaker 4 [00.55.41] a two. I was gonna say I have. Speaker 1 [00.55.42] No. You got a four? Mhm. Okay, so you are on this table. Roll me a d100. Speaker 4 [00.55.50] 26. Speaker 1 [00.55.51] 26. Speaker 4 [00.55.53] Yep. 26. Speaker 1 [00.55.55] Wow. I think you got. He kind of shifts around, and he goes, this muffin, you're gonna like this one. He kind of, like, shimmies your way and a dagger of venom fall out. Thank you. Clavicle. You gained a plus one bonus to attack rolls and damage rolls made with this weapon. You can take a bonus action to magically coat the blade with poison. The poison remains for one minute or until attack is weapon until the attack weapon hits. A creature creature must succeed at DC 15 Constitution saving. Throw or take two d10 poison and or poison for one minute, and it can't be used like that again until next arm. So you get, you get. We'll get a poison attack once a day. So what's it called? The dagger venom. Yeah, and it looks really Speaker 3 [00.56.39] cool. Yeah, it sounds cool. Speaker 1 [00.56.42] It's got like a green, scaly, like snake hilt with curved blade, like yellow gold braided looking ties around it. Yeah. Pretty sick. Okay. Please do. You got a floor, you said. Yep. Okay. Let's. Do you roll? 2020. Speaker 3 [00.57.01] A lot of 20s. Okay. You've got. What is this? Okay, so he shimmies out this thing and goes, please think this one's for you. And he pops it out, and it's this big, like, intricate. Looks like a staff almost on the end of it is the head of a lion. And it's got teeth like the face and everything. And his eyes got red gems inside of it. And it is the horn of blasting. So you can take a magic action to blow the horn, which emits a thunderous blast, and a 30 foot cone that is audible out of 600ft. So each creature within 30ft makes a DC 15 constitution saving throw. On the failed save. They take five D8 thunder damage and are deafened for one minute. On a successful save, they take half as much damage. Oh my God. Glass or crystal objects in the cone that aren't being worn or or carried. Take ten Speaker 1 [00.57.55] d8 thunder damage. So anything that's glass or crystal within 30ft will explode if it's not being carried. Yeah. So it's like a Speaker 3 [00.58.02] frequency attack, almost like it's like my thunderclap, like turned up, like to like 20. Because mine's Speaker 1 [00.58.11] awesome. Each use of the horns magic has a 20% chance of causing the horn to explode. The explosion deals ten d6 damage to the user and destroys the horn. Speaker 3 [00.58.23] So? So it's a glass cannon? Speaker 1 [00.58.24] Literally. Yes. Did you say ten d6? Yes, yes. Literally. Like explode. Like huge. Oh, was it 6010? Speaker 3 [00.58.33] Same Speaker 1 [00.58.33] thing ten d6 for if it stays. If it explodes, they take five. So it's like one of those things you pull out when it's like it's do or die down, baby dudes. You're like, this is either my death and their death. So it could be. Or it could be awesome. Speaker 3 [00.58.46] Yeah. 30 foot gun. I'd use that when there's, like 15 dudes. Yeah, like sprinting up. You all kind of got some pretty good, uh, equipment from Old Lady Ghoul. That was kind of scary. Speaker 2 [00.58.55] What was that? Cool? Scary? The horn of blasting? Speaker 1 [00.58.59] Yes, the horn of blasting. Duke seems to be gathering more demonic little creatures. He's got a way of spawning them out of statues now. Yes. Um, it just seems good to his character. Speaker 3 [00.59.11] So they do ball like, this is like turd demon. Like, throw a little figurine down. Like summoning a creature. Speaker 1 [00.59.17] This episode of dummies with dice features Kelli Lee as a miss muffin, Nate Chambers as Duke Crystal, Ryan Tucker as Fleastick Sockjelly, and Trisston Hayes is the DM. The episode is edited and mixed by Tristan Hayes. The artwork for dummies with dice, created by Al Sorensen can be found on Instagram under ARCI0. The theme song is the Intense Fiddle by Ben Caldera. When it comes to dummies with dice, you can find our website on RSS. Dice and on Facebook at Dice. Most importantly, join our Patreon at Patreon.com Dice for free or for $3 monthly. Gain access to a discord and bonus content. Come back in two weeks for new episodes of Dummies With Dice!