Viewer Warning! Use of violence, profanity, rude humor, and portrayal of drug and alcohol
use.
Welcome to Dummies and Dice, a Dungeons and Dragons actual play podcast that follows four
not-so-average dummies of our world that get caught up in a magical storm and are transported
to the world of Dungeons and Dragons where they must survive and try to find a way back
home.
And this is part two of our Halloween special.
What's up?
I'm Kelly Lee.
I play Miss Muffin.
She's a crazy cat lady rogue.
Fun fact.
Miss Muffin's paranoia is starting to take over, being in this scary camp with unanswered
mysteries lurking around her.
She's riddled with anxiety, trying to maintain what little sanity she has left.
Hey everyone, R2 here.
Ryan Tucker here.
I play as Fleastick Sockjelly
I am the hobo trash master cleric of the God Rumpke.
I am a MacGyver of all things trash and garbage.
Fun fact, Fleastick smokes bed bugs in his spare time.
Ew, no!
Smokes bed bugs?
No!
Smokes them?
Smokety bed bugs.
Why?
Fleastick, why?
I need it.
Hey, Nate here.
My character's Duke Crystal.
He's a 32-year-old drug addicted level four barbarian of the group.
Fun fact about Duke.
He loves anime.
Hi.
I'm Ryan Hart.
I'm R1 and I play Archie Ortiz.
Fun fact.
Just kidding, guys.
It's his sister again.
Don't you remember he's in a demonic coma?
The power of Christ compels you.
I'm Trisston Hayes and I'm the dummy master and my Halloween fun fact is a jack-o'-lantern
tradition of...
The tradition of carving jack-o'-lanterns originated in Ireland and Scotland where they
originally made from turnips, beets, or potatoes.
And the tradition was brought to the United States by immigrants who began to use pumpkins
instead.
Is that where Potato Head came from?
Yeah, but tradition because they put it on their doorsteps to protect their home from
unwanted lurking spirits.
So Mr. Potato Head was a guardian of homes.
There you go.
He was actually a hero.
In the States, people used to use gourds.
The mighty Potato Man.
And his wife.
And his wife's shield maiden.
Miss Potato Head.
The shield maiden.
Cue boat.
Paddle boat.
Sailboat.
This is Miss muffin naming off the boats she sees at the docks.
Never been on the top panic.
So as you guys left off, you found this secret tunnel under the docks.
And as you kind of peer in, we do the GTA V character swap.
Back to Duke Crystal.
Duke.
Very nice.
You approach the caves.
You roll up and you see a grizzly scene ahead of you.
Let me see what the grizzly scene is.
Grizzly bears.
I'm better at this.
Mating grizzly bears.
Mating bears.
Also fighting over a pot of honey.
With cubs.
Which I will.
Cubs playing soccer in the background.
You see as you roll up what appears to be pieces of Brenda's outfit laying on the ground.
And you see a corpse strung up in front of the cave, like hung up, dissected and peeled
apart and pulled open across the cave as if it's covering the hole.
There's no head attached.
The head is not in sight.
Spider robo bodies.
But you see this corpse displayed in an absolutely horrific way in front of the cave.
Jack sees this and he goes, oh my god, that's Brenda.
And he throws up on the ground.
He goes, we gotta go back and we have to tell Steve and everybody what's going on here.
He goes, what are we supposed to do about this?
What do you do?
Well, she's obviously dead.
So I can't do shit about that.
We can go in the cave and find possibly what killed her and strung her up.
More like who?
I don't see the animals really stringing people up and flaying them like this.
Yeah, and Jack kind of looks at you and he goes, Jesus, you're right.
Jesus as in whatever being these rules of Jesus is.
I don't know who Jesus is.
And he goes, praise the sun.
He goes, you're right.
Because we can't just leave her like this and run.
He goes, we have to figure out what's going on.
And you guys choose to enter the cave.
Yeah, before that, a quick off board question.
Would I take damage if I just kind of dragged my cursed sword across her bloody flayed corpse?
Like, would he get the blood?
But would he backlash me for not being used to do damage?
Well, damage her-
This is just a snag.
There's no work involved.
He's just getting fed.
Am I just going to have to wing it?
I'll wing it.
Yeah, I'll try.
I'll just drag him across her draped me.
Okay, so as you do that, you see the blood as you're dragging across it almost pulls
across the blade and kind of goes inside and pulls up and soaks into it.
And you feel the blade leech to your hand for a second.
So make me a con save.
Okay.
To see if you can actually let go of this thing.
How's a ten?
Ten?
Let me try to roll for the-
That's a re-roll.
Okay, you are able to kind of pull it off your hand and look at it.
And it goes- as you're pulling it away, you hear its voice and it goes, ooh, you got me
off.
That's fine.
As you pull it off your hand.
So yeah, you can unwield it now.
You're not forced to hold it.
Nice.
But Jack, you turn around and Jack goes, what the fuck was that?
Why did you just do that?
Well, I mean, not to be too mean, but she didn't have much use left in her, but I managed
to find a little bit.
So she was useful in her death, in a way.
You get some blood, like her blood charged her sword.
Like what the fuck is that?
Yeah, the sword might be what slays the beast that strung her up, so it makes it a little
stronger.
Okay, make that persuasion with advantage.
That's pretty good.
Very good.
Nine.
Nine?
Okay, so she goes, she goes, I-
He.
He goes-
Oh, plus two.
Plus two.
So 11.
Okay, let's check it.
He goes, okay, I guess, whatever, that's fine.
Let's check out the caves, but let's try not to take any more of my friend's blood, please.
It's all gone, man.
The only one left here to die is you.
He gets like-
He gets eyes wide and he goes, you're right, let's just go into the caves, let's figure
this out.
He shouldn't have opened his fucking mouth.
So you enter the cave.
Oh, yes.
Okay.
As you enter, it is a maze.
Like a maze of tunnels just kind of looping around.
Underground maze, my favorite kind.
And you can find your way through kind of easily just because of, like you can tell
it loops around, but it's walls mostly.
There's some crumpled walls and-
Should I be able to see this?
Yeah.
Okay.
That's what I was saying.
Like yeah, it's not, you can pretty much navigate through this because it's mostly just paths
and walls.
I'll say I have dark vision.
I have 60 foot too.
Yeah, I was about to say dark, but you have dark vision.
And your sword blows, don't it?
The Miami Ruffurion if I haven't lit, which I do have it in my hand right now, so I'll
probably light it.
You guys, you're going to choose to go south or north because there's two tunnels facing
both of you.
You can kind of peek around.
You've got three of you so you're able to see the areas.
Since north is a dead end, may as well check it for south.
Okay.
You should go south.
So yeah, you head up to the north wall and you just kind of see a loop around where it
looks like someone had dug through a bit, but then gave up and stopped pushing through.
So you can help-
Followed an ore vein and gave up.
Yep.
Okay.
So you can go south path.
Yay.
You cut down and you see the crumpled wall ahead of you and a looped room looks like just
a kind of like a smoothed out room people were using as passageway and walking through.
You see a crumpled wall where it broke through to another path, two paths.
And it's your choice of where you would like to choose.
The broken wall completely-
It's kind of crumpled down so you got to just kind of climb over some rubble.
Crawl over the rubble to squeeze through.
Difficult terrain, technically.
Yeah, sure.
We'll do that.
Okay.
You're going to go up to the very top path?
Yeah.
Okay.
As you cut the corner of this long tunnel you see ahead of you.
One second.
This gigantic ship looks like something you've seen from TV or movies back in your world
and it's got tentacles coming off of it and it's got purple glowing power and you see
this- let me find this interesting thing real quick.
Did you say a ship?
A ship.
A spaceship.
Almost like a spaceship.
A spaceship.
A living ship, yes.
Okay.
Very strange.
Tugboat.
I got to figure out where this, my stat is.
It's a UFO.
What's the tugboat's name?
The kids' tugboat thing?
Tugboat Larry or something?
Tuggy McTugger Tunes.
Tugboat Larry.
It's not it but I don't know.
Okay so yeah, okay you see that ship ahead of you.
What do you choose to do as you see this absolute, you know, looks like it's, it almost looks
like it's like phasing in and out.
Like it's just sitting there like vibrating and phasing and you feel weird energy coming
off of it.
So I'm going to approach it cautiously.
Okay.
You're going to just like look it over perception and investigation type or are you just going
to walk close?
Uh, I doubt investigate's going to work much because it's probably alien to me but I could
maybe do perception, see if it feels threatening or if it feels like it's on defense mode or
something.
Yeah, give me perception or investigation.
Either one.
I'll do perception.
Flat eight.
Okay so, no good.
You see, you see a pink crystal kind of in, kind of like on the edge of the ship.
But that's all you see is just like kind of a pink crystal on the side.
I'm going to attempt to smash the crystal.
You going to try to hit the crystal?
Yes.
Oh no.
We're going to go zero to a hundred, full throttle baby.
He's like what happened?
He's like I must, he said I must decide your consequences for this.
Teleport it to another universe.
It probably will go into defense mode if it's not in it already.
I could have touched it but then it could have like possessed me or something.
So no.
We smash.
Like you don't mind.
I do mind.
It's a symbiote.
What if he uses my gooch pouch?
He will.
Well that's why I mind.
My body is my body.
Make me your attack to hit this thing.
Oh that's hitting.
That's an 18 without the bonus.
So 18 plus 8.
Will that hit?
Okay.
16 or 26.
You hit it.
He didn't want me to hit.
All right you're good.
Here we go.
You should have known.
So once you hit it.
So you're going to try to hit it and you roll, what was it?
It was an 18 plus 8 so 26.
26.
So that does break this ship's AC.
And you come in true.
There's no need to roll damage because your fury memro mace just bounces off because it
is immune to all bludgeoning, slashing and whatever you can tell.
It's a tough one.
So you have another option.
But now that you have gotten close to this thing, roll me a con save.
As you feel this weird wave of almost radiation flowing off.
Fabulous.
Crip.
Okay.
So you feel this wave.
You being Dude Crystal.
Wait does that wave make you high?
Dude Crystal.
And he sees this yellow wall.
He senses the air change from this pure air to nasty radiated Chernobyl air.
And takes a deep breath and goes huh.
And just walks on through.
You're not going to do anything right now.
I've huffed a lot of solvents.
So now you're close to it and you felt that.
What are you going to do now?
Anything else you'd like to try on this?
You can try to rip it out of there if you want.
Yes.
Strength check?
Yes.
Okay.
Why not?
The old Crystal.
Yeah.
Pink Crystal.
16?
Yes.
Okay.
So you pop that Crystal out, yanking on it.
And you feel the energy of the ship just kind of like boom.
Kind of like lower and feel down.
And then everybody make a perception check.
Everyone.
Even y'all.
19?
There you go.
13?
Very good.
20?
Okay.
So what'd you get Miss Piffin?
13.
Okay.
So in all sections of the camp where you all are standing, you hear the most like blood
curling like roar echo across the entire camp.
And like the verbiary.
Like everything shaking.
I made him mad.
And uh.
Do Crystal.
Make me another concept.
Since you're holding this Crystal in your hand.
18?
Okay.
You feel that wave again hit you.
And you've got this Crystal in your hand.
What do you want to do?
Does that radiation still hit me?
It will.
Is that what we're saying?
It will continue to as uh.
Uh.
As long as you have it close to you.
And you're touching it and holding it.
I think it's got a certain radius.
I think I managed to see something like a pit.
Just around the bend maybe with my dark vision as I was going around.
Is that true?
Um.
Just bury it.
This thing I think that might be a ledge.
Is it?
Cliff a ledge.
Yeah.
You zoom in super close.
It's like.
It's pretty dark.
I think it's a gap.
Oh that.
Yes.
Okay.
Yes.
Actually right.
Yes.
Right around the corner you did see that.
Um.
Yes.
There was a pit.
Yeah.
I'm going to yeet that thing in the pit.
Okay.
Um.
I don't think you really need to roll for it.
Uh.
No.
Gravity should do the work.
Yeah.
Gravity.
Gravity still works down here.
Um.
You throw it and you see the pink glow.
Just keep glowing and glowing and glowing and falling all the way down.
The crystal is gone.
If anything was living down there it's fucked.
Oh yeah.
That's why the ecosystem is teared up now.
But it seems deep enough to keep the radiation away.
Yes.
You do not feel the wave hitting you in the face with glee.
Alright.
Now I'd like to investigate the ship.
Okay.
Check it out.
Yeah.
Give me an investigation.
Or a perception.
Both of them are flat rolls.
18.
Uh.
You look this thing over and uh.
Jack kind of walks up with you and he's like are you okay?
He's like that shit looked like it fucked you up.
He's like did it hurt you?
What shit?
What are you doing?
He's like oh my god.
He's just kind of like this guy.
He goes.
But anyways uh.
This thing.
This ship.
This is like an interdimensional ship of some kind.
He.
These creatures I've read about.
They're abric whores and they would use these to travel between like realms and stuff.
Like this is fucked up shit.
Hmm.
So you're telling me I should fuck it up real bad is what you're saying.
You can.
If you want.
I mean.
You can't beat it to death.
I mean.
It's got height.
I'm gonna ask.
I'm gonna asshole Jack.
Do you want the thing to escape?
Because I think this is it's main escape route.
If you take off your roll that you got.
You can tell that this thing is not going anywhere without that gym.
That gym.
That motherfucker might be crazy.
He might climb down that pit.
Well yes.
If he is able to get it back.
Then it could be like Jack's saying.
If he's able to get that back then yes.
He could probably power it.
But that was deep.
Actually.
Hold up.
I got an idea.
So if that's the case.
Let's go back to the pit.
And I'm gonna pull out my mortar and pestle in that night shade poison.
Okay.
I'm gonna grind it up and I'm gonna dump it down the pit.
Why?
Because obviously he's probably immune to the radiation.
His ship is protected by it.
I would imagine he's not affected by it.
But now he can't just go down and get it.
Because it's covered in night shade poison dust everywhere down there.
Okay.
Yeah you can do that.
That's my hope.
You can do that.
I mean.
It was either that or throw it in someone's face.
That was about my only plan to use it.
So it was like.
Yeah I will let you do that.
That's fine.
You can sprinkle your night shade down there.
So if he was by chance to go get it.
He will most likely take some damage from some poison.
That's my guess.
Okay I won't destroy it.
We can study it instead of destroy it now.
Um.
I guess I'll just leave it be.
Okay.
Until we can come back and study it eventually.
Once we deal with.
Oh boy.
The slasher.
So now that you've done that.
We'll flip back to.
Playstick and.
Miss Muffin.
And Alice.
And uh.
Blow the docks.
Going into the tunnel.
Into the tunnel.
So.
As you guys walk approach down this little tunnel you see like a nice dimly lit staircase with like torches.
Going down.
Oh beautiful.
And you go down a decent bit down this path and then it opens up to a big circle area and you can see.
Like where the water has been.
Blocked off from coming into this area but you can see almost the docks above you.
Like below the docks.
Like you are directly below the docks that were above you.
And as you look across the room there are.
There's a deep pit to your.
What is that?
East side.
And to the north there is some supplies and what not laying on the ground.
What do you guys do in this room?
And ahead of you there's a little ledge that kind of loops around to some more water blocked barricades.
Go check out them supplies.
Yeah let's go rustle through some of the.
Give me some investigations.
Yeah.
Six.
One.
Well two minus one.
Oh okay.
No that's not an actual one.
Damn.
I should have opened the ship.
Um.
What if there's anything in there?
Oh okay actually you don't even need to roll anything with this.
This is a.
Oh come back.
So as you yeah you look down on this thing and you can see the note there's a note laying there and it's like wrapped up and it's got.
A book page.
It's got red like ribbons on it and you pick it up and it's got.
If you open it up.
Do.
You open it up and it's got a little map on it that shows the locations of all the clues that have been hidden across this area because.
The ghost you saw before you knew that she was being stalked and wanted ways for someone to be able to stop this thing before she was murdered.
So you've got like a map of where they are going to be but not the exact location of where they're at in the areas.
So.
Like geocache.
You have got.
That was the first clue and then when you pick up the map and you move it over you see this like thick.
Like a little book laying on the ground under it.
It says the thing that should not be and various pages of it have been ripped out of the side.
And then you know that you've got the areas of probably the rest of the pages of this full book.
They will be located in the map says W1 worksheds.
You've got below the docks.
There's S3 small cabins.
B7 big cabins and one of the lumber yard.
So we're already below the docks.
So yeah you got that clue.
That's this.
That's this clue.
So you guys found the clue in that one that tells you there's a book of pages that you need to also find pages to that.
But you've got the book to start the interpretation of what's going through.
Anything else in the pile?
Is there anything else on there?
No because you guys did real shit on investigations.
So.
Well we didn't need the roll.
Yeah.
Wouldn't it be perception?
Nope.
It wouldn't have been much better anyway.
Let's look down that pit.
You want to look down the pit?
Let's look down the pit.
Yeah look in the pit.
Make a perception check.
11.
17 plus 4.
It's a really deep pit.
Nice.
Super deep.
Yeah super deep.
About like the one I threw the crystal in.
That's what it's going to say.
Are we literally by him and we don't know it?
No probably not.
I mean it's possible.
You could have popped down into the cave system somehow.
So are you guys going to leave this place and try to maybe find Duke now that you know
that there's something you're all searching for?
I'm going to coat the outside of the pit with my poison lipstick.
Outside of the pit?
Yeah.
So something can't crawl through it?
Yep.
Something can crawl down the pit.
Okay give me a dexterity.
You can use slight of hand if you want.
Make sure you can kind of not make any breaks in the point there.
What is my dexterity?
It's on the front.
Probably not super high.
What snapped the whole thing?
11.
Okay yeah you're able to decently play around the edge of what you think is good for something
that comes through your mic.
Take a little bit of damage.
Good job.
Yeah yeah yeah.
So yeah we're going to go find Duke and show him our mappy map and try to find some book
pages.
Show him the mappy map?
Okay.
Duke, since you're in the cave, where do you think Duke would go to find the group and
where do you guys think you would go to find Duke?
Where do you guys think you would all meet up at on this map?
What was that cabin B what?
Because I mean Duke don't know about the cabin so I'm just saying like you know you guys
have like a spot that you think you would meet up.
Weren't we all together at 6 last?
You were all together at B4 last.
Yeah so we're all going to go there.
I'm sure we communicated where we were going.
You were going to the docks, I was going to the cave.
It was like literally a clearing.
Oh yeah right there.
Between us.
You guys just step out towards each other.
Yeah so we're going to walk towards each other.
So Duke walks outside and goes oh!
Howdy ho neighbors!
You guys crawl out of this tunnel in the ground and tell each other I'm assuming all the things
that you found.
Yeah.
A glorious plunder.
So now you need to go to one of your next locations.
Where would you like to go for your next clues?
The one that's closest to us.
Start down the line.
What I'm calling my name?
What's that?
The Lumberyard.
B3.
But it's a good clue.
No that's not one of the things, the clues.
B7.
Well no they didn't show me the clues.
Oh yeah well I mean.
We showed Duke the clues.
Well I personally have not seen them.
Okay so here they are.
First clue, well actually you guys found the below docks one.
Do they have the identity number and letter?
Oh yeah B7.
So B7 big cabin.
Okay B7.
W1 work sheds.
S3 small cabins.
And the lumberyard.
And then below docks is the one they are trying to find.
So what's close to the docks?
The Lumberyard probably.
You guys are kind of like looking over the map now.
Did you just say S1 on one?
S3.
Small cabins.
Okay.
And then Lumberyard?
Is it an L?
Yes.
So pretty much most of them are on the left side except for S3.
So go to S3 first.
No F or W1 or W2.
I don't want to do my taxes.
W2 is no.
Scariest thing of Halloween ever.
I'd say we go to either B7 or the Lumberyard because they are pretty much right back where
the cave was.
Lumberyard, Lumberyard.
B7.
Wasn't it right here or is that B1?
I couldn't tell.
Oh yeah that's B7.
Yeah B1's are here so that's got to be B7.
B courageous, B courageous.
Okay so which place would you go first?
B1 or Lumberyard or were you splitting up again?
And you do still have a lot of goal Alice and Jack.
Do any of us have any type of ability that would be visual from long distance?
Like if you shot it there like hey we're in trouble because we ain't got radios.
I like to call out to each other.
Yeah like if we did split up and they ended up running the slasher.
I could shoot a secret plane.
I would say if one of us runs into the slasher it would be nice if someone on each side,
one person at least could like signal off or make a lot of noise.
I can shoot a secret plane.
I can shoot at 60 feet straight over.
I have a lightening bolt does that mean it's like a Chinese lantern and floats?
I have a lightening bolt but that's like one of my strongest attacks for me to just like whiff it into the sky.
And slide it into his legs.
That means they fight them.
I can throw oil or slippery knees in the air and somebody can light it up.
Actually I could try that.
If that's necessary.
As long as I hit him and use it.
Wait why are we splitting up?
He's saying if you need to split up to search for different clues the way to signal each other.
In case one of us has to fight the main slasher guy we'll be able to call the other people over there.
But it would probably take like forever because it's 150 feet.
I mean Hazel is going to be screaming but I don't know if you can hear that if we're too far away.
I mean.
It's a can true.
Just listen for my cat screeching.
Meowing.
It's like an investigation.
Meowing.
Alright so.
So are we splitting up or?
Well I'm going to touch you and give you some guidance.
How long does that last?
Ask for his consent before you touch him.
One action.
Oh just one action?
Yeah.
Well.
Wait now.
I don't know how it words it on there.
It just gives me an extra D4 each.
It says you touch one woman crew once before the spell ends.
The target can roll a D4 and add the number rolled to one ability check of its choice.
It can roll the die before or after making the ability check the spell then ends.
I guess it's an end battle type thing.
So you just keep it?
Well no it would be any ability check.
Until you use an action.
It would be any ability check.
But if you start an action with an attack that would be an attack action.
Yeah I think it would say just ability checks.
So yeah perception or any of those you could.
It would work for that.
Like one D4 or whatever plus that.
May as well I'll start with an investigation.
I hope I don't run into an enemy right off the bat.
It's an area where you're trying to investigate and find stuff so I mean it does help.
Or if you have to take a perception check or something like that.
You know just because I walked into an area.
Yeah.
It's a cantrip too right?
Yeah it's a cantrip so I can just...
I'm white.
To everybody.
Bob will be over here hidden because he was off by himself fighting spirits.
Okay so are you splitting then?
Sure.
You guys can go to the lumber mill and I'll go to B7.
Deal.
Be safe.
Yep.
Stay alive folks.
Okay if I see something I'll shoot my sacred flame.
If I run into the slasher guy I'll slide under his gooch and shoot my lightning a hundred
foot in the air through everybody.
If they take fleestick out before he shoots his sacred flame just before my cat.
I hope it helps me to the fucking ground when I slide between his gooch he's just like
he's a bad bitch.
As you approach this place you can see some cabins being repaired and structures were
sold to the nearby village like there's all kinds of stuff that was happening here.
Okay so there's a westernmost house and a small little shack off to the east.
What would you like to look at in here?
We should go check out 1B or wait what's that cabin you said over there?
What is that 2B?
The larger cabin that's 2A 2B and then there's a smaller building right there.
I just blocked them out because you haven't looked inside yet.
Alright you want to go check 2B out first?
Yeah.
Is that where the entrance is?
Yeah this is the bigger building yeah.
Okay.
So I will clear you clear it out if you could please.
Barbee and bada boom baby.
Barbee and bada boom.
Mr. Little White has stepped in the room.
As you walk into this room you see like he looks like this was the foreman's office and
kind of where he stayed back in the there's like a bed and stuff in there and you see
a couple like locked closet like wardrobe looking things like locked up you know like
weirdly locked up like there's like a closet locked.
I'll pick them.
Do you still have a these tool?
Oh can you only use it once?
I believe so.
Really?
I think so.
Why?
It's a kit.
I can't remember.
I thought it was a kit.
I don't know.
I think it depends on if you break it.
Yeah.
I won.
I mean I didn't win.
Go ahead I'll let it.
I think it's ball.
Yeah.
I rolled a six.
Wait I'm gonna have advantage because I'm.
You probably broke it.
You do have advantage.
Now it's nine.
Nine?
Yeah.
Plus anything?
Or is that?
What would?
Slight of hand?
Slight of hand.
It should be pretty good.
Let me see.
So it would actually be a nine plus eight so it would be a seventeen.
Yeah that's what I thought.
Okay so yeah.
Ding.
Yeah.
Pop that thing off.
It shoots off and hits like the wall like.
Yeah.
Just shoots right off like.
Hell yeah.
You open it up and there's a note inside there kind of like hidden under some books and stuff.
Looks like the foreman had found it and kind of put it away just to see if anyone came
back for it.
Like a lost page book.
Clue.
You open up this letter and it's a missing page and it says great detail of a creature
called aberrant horrors.
The pages go on to explain that the aberrant horrors do not possess humanoid psyches and
as such are immune to psychic assaults.
I'm pretty psychic.
So we're kind of learning some of its weaknesses in this page and kind of the learning of what
this creature is and he is a psychic creature.
He doesn't hold a humanoid psychic ability.
He's able to just fuck you up.
Not be able to fuck him up in mental health.
So is he like just a projection or is he like physical manifestation?
Spectral I guess.
Kind of physical.
Kind of not.
He's he yes is almost physical.
Metaphysical.
He's just he's just.
He's AI.
Interdimensional.
Yeah he's interdimensional.
Yes exactly what he is.
So he's just like fluctuating between frequencies.
I mean you guys technically don't know that.
Only Duke would have kind of noticed that from Jack.
I guess Jack could have told you guys what you found.
Ships.
Yeah.
So yeah you got another clue there.
Duke Crystal has they assumed or unless you guys want to do anything else here.
Is there anything else in this room that we need to investigate?
Yeah you can give me an investigation and see if you can find anything sexy under his
bed.
Him or me?
Both.
You both can.
I would roll because I rolled an 8 minus 1.
For investigation.
Investigation.
They all scrap on them.
19, 20, 21.
Okay you find a looks like to be a gold pouch or a little pouch with gold pieces in it.
Yay we split it.
Yeah you got I would say about 75 gold pieces inside.
So how much each?
32.50.
I'll take 31 you got 32.
Alright.
Okay Duke as they are you guys done there then?
You going to make your way back towards Duke or to another area?
What was in 2B?
Oh yeah you can check it out.
Oh yeah we want to.
Go ahead.
Sorry.
I forgot about it.
We didn't master.
So in this place you walk inside and you see a couple of weapons kind of stored in a little
like a little like bed chest thing like one of those long chests.
I don't know what you call that.
Any magic?
Yeah like a long one.
Yeah he's got like a couple of short swords and like a dagger inside there.
Oh I want the dagger.
Take the dagger.
I don't think I want anything.
Is it worth anything?
Is it anything worth taking?
No magic, no runes.
Alright.
Nothing, 22.
Yeah that's mostly there.
You can tell it's kind of just like a shack used to hold his stuff.
Gotcha.
Is that everything in the lumber yard?
Yeah that's it.
You see like the tents outside down to the south of the building you're in right now.
Oh apologies.
Well what do you think?
Should we head towards Duke or check the tents out?
Let's check the tents out real fast.
Alright.
Investigation.
Two days.
Same fucking hole.
11.
7.
8 minus 1.
You don't find much.
It just looks like some clothes and kind of like punks.
They look like some lumber.
Some people probably just crashed out when they would get done working out the lumber
yard.
What kind of clothes?
Normal clothes.
Lumberjack clothes actually.
Not for me.
Flandre can work out sometimes.
Grab Flandre for Duke Crystal.
Taking back a present.
It would help mend our relationship.
Now we're going to head back to Dookie Dook.
Okay, uh, Duke.
You went to B1, correct?
B7.
Yes.
Savage.
Okay, so this is one large cabin.
I'll regale it all because it doesn't really matter.
You already got the clue of knowing where they're at.
So this is one large cabin with like multiple rooms of bedrooms in it.
And all you know is that yours is in the seventh room.
You can pretty much find out which room that is, but you're welcome to investigate this
place and do as you please while you look for the clue.
Not you, though.
Yes.
Well, I guess I will walk right in to find out.
Right in to find out.
Okay.
You want to make perception or, yeah, maybe perception checks so you can try to figure
out which room I'm looking at here.
Oof.
That's a six.
A six.
So you look to your left and you think that room there looks like the...
Number seven.
No, the other side.
Oh, okay.
So we're going to go check this room.
You open up the door to the west and you open up and it's a green bedroom.
Give me an investigation rule.
All right.
Eighteen.
You reach under the bed and you feel something really squishy.
Ew.
And wet.
Scary.
I pull it out of there.
Pull it out of there?
It's someone's scalp with hair attached to it.
Oh my God.
I put it on.
I was going to say, you're a little weird.
I knew you were a little weird.
Maybe a con save.
I fucking knew he was going to put it on.
Oh, that's not good.
Five.
Okay.
So as you put it on, you feel this weird connection and it's like your eyes snap closed for a
second but they're wide open.
You just can't see.
And you kind of see, you're walking inside of this tent or this cabin and you're seeing
through someone else's eyes and it's like you walk in the door, you're doing your thing,
doing your thing, you turn around and all you see is a machete come through.
Take off the top of the scalp and then everything goes black and then you snap back too and
you're going to take...
Four.
One psychic damage.
One psychic damage?
All right.
That was worth it.
Now I know how you move.
So that was Brenda's scalp.
I don't know whose scalp it was.
Weird.
I don't know.
We never found her head.
Just another victim.
All right.
Okay.
So yeah, dude, you walked into the wrong fucking room.
Now you are able to kind of clear your mind and find the right room to go into.
But seven?
Yeah, that's why I know.
Let's find this clue.
That's the case.
Or perception.
It's no matter for you, I guess.
Yep, it's no matter.
Nine.
It's all in the roll.
Okay.
So as you're looking through the room with the nine, you start to pull some stuff through
and you pull some stuff through and then you see like the letter that we've been seeing
and you go to pull it out and it kind of rips a bit and the chunk of it like kind of strips
and rips off and you open it up and it says, be weary of this aberrant horror because it's
horrific face and allows it to, and then the page is ripped and shredded off the end.
So you can try to put them back together and let's see if you can reattach the look and
see if you can get the papers.
So roll me maybe Dexterity.
Okay.
Let's see if you can kind of...
I can mend it with a cantrip.
Will a seventeen do it?
Okay, yeah, you can easily put it back together and it says, be weary of the aberrant horror
because it uses this horrific face that allows it to temporarily frighten its foes.
It also explains that they possess visages of absolute horror capable of frightening
even the bravest warrior.
So you know that it can use its face to intimidate.
So it's like Medusa.
You must keep your eyes closed.
Yes.
Okay.
Look away.
So yeah, that happens and are you still doing anything in this place?
Yes.
What would you like to do here?
Check room eight.
Okay.
Urge.
Trying to do a rapid investigation.
Yeah, get it.
Go ahead, you roll.
Uh, thirteen.
A thirteen?
Yes.
Okay, so you see that there is a little stone or something that's loose in the wall and
you kind of like pop it out and there's someone hiding a plus one along the wall that was
stashed in the wall along with a quiver of twenty arrows.
That was a big brick.
I will take that.
Yeah, there's like a whole section right there.
Nice.
You can easily tell this place has not been fully built well.
They're in dire need of help and this is the help they got.
I mean you guys and I'm trying to save them.
Okay.
Are you done?
Anything else?
Uh, other room.
Other room?
Yes.
I know there's a couple more.
Yeah, there's a few bedrooms.
When you open them up they're just kind of looking like normal generic bedrooms.
There's nobody staying in them.
Yeah, they look like they haven't really had any.
This looks like it's more of a place for the kids to all have a large cabin.
A bunk bed.
Yeah, they're like filled with beds and what not.
A fireplace for a lounge, all that stuff.
Little bounds.
Okay.
So we are going to go back to Zbigniew.
As you guys all make your way back towards kind of like the convergence point there where
you first met up, you're standing there and everybody roll me a perception.
18.
14.
5.
Uh, Ms. Muffin and Flea Stick, you notice the fog is getting thick and darker and it's
like growing and just being more and more angry and powerful and before anyone can really
notice except you guys get a little bit of an advantage on your next save you have to
make but before you can stop anything you see this hulking creature with the head of
Brenda hanging from its chest and the head of Bill hanging from its waist and it's got
a machete in its hand and like a chain hanging from its other side and it's got a mask on
and it's ready for blood and it reaches out and it grabs Jack and pulls his head clean
off of his body and throws it over toward the wall.
Hell yeah.
Everybody roll initiative.
Hell yeah.
18.
Oh wait, do I add anything for initiative?
Plus initiative.
18.
16.
17 plus 1.
So I got a 22 altogether.
So 18, 16, 22.
Um, yeah, I'm thinking about getting these one.
Ellie's going first probably.
I don't want to go first.
I'm scared of that.
Too bad.
Okay, uh, I'm going to go first.
I'm going to go first.
Okay, uh, I guess you can use the time.
Okay, so what's everybody's initiatives again?
22.
16.
18.
Okay, so the slasher, the average horror slasher also got 18.
Should I roll for globagool?
Oh yeah, go ahead and roll for globagool because you're going to use him as your companion.
That's right.
Uh, 16.
I don't really know if he has any initiative bonuses.
I could check.
This should, I don't know for sure.
Uh, not that I could see.
Okay, then yeah.
Plus his dex probably.
His dex, uh, minus 4.
Oh.
So he's got a 12 technically.
That's not worth it.
We'll just go off your roll.
16.
We'll just do flat 16.
Okay, well he goes the same as you then.
Okay, so that would be first up, Miss Muffin.
Uh, you've got, uh, Alice in front of you and then about, he's about 60 to 80 feet from
you.
Like over there, far away, he grabbed ahold of what's his face in the back of the pack,
ripped his noggin off, tossed his body.
Now this looks like he's gunning for the first person in front of him, which will be Alice
because she is up ahead.
Miss Muffin is dripping in fear and she gets her invisibility cloak out, flips it on, so
she's invisible.
And she wants to mention that her, or she wants to point out that her cat safely fits
underneath the cloak with her resting on her shoulders, so Hazel is also invisible.
Okay, so you go invisible for your turn.
It's like a fear boner.
My heart is a rock.
Why?
I don't know.
I'm scared.
This is what happens when you get scared.
My heart's pumping like a motherfucker and all the blood had to go somewhere.
What do I do?
Okay, fuck.
Yes.
Alright, so then Miss Muffin, that's your turn?
Yeah.
Alright, next up is the flea stick, suck jelly.
Suck jelly.
Alright, as you guys already know, I cast my spiritual weapon.
Okay, bonus action, spiritual weapon.
One spell slot.
Spell slot on.
Okay.
And...
Where do you spawn it at?
So you can spawn it within like wherever you place it.
I'm trying to think.
Where am I located next to this dude anywhere right now?
You're about 60 to 80 feet from him.
Which one am I at, 60 or 80?
I'll go 60, 80, because you're further back.
Alright, so I move up 20 feet.
Okay.
Alright.
20 feet movement.
It's been used.
And then I'm going to use seger flame on him.
Okay, that dex save, right?
Yes.
Wait, hold on.
Yep.
Okay.
You're gonna roll a dex save.
That is...
I didn't tell you what that is.
It's a nine or a six.
Either way, you don't get it.
Well...
That would be a six.
Six, okay.
Six plus four.
Nope.
Okay, so one D8.
Okay, one D8.
Radiant damage.
Which one is the D8?
What are we at here?
Three.
Three, radiant.
Radiant.
I think we're gonna get to see how this goes.
I will let you have it this time.
Okay.
One piece.
Okay, you hit him with that.
You're done, right?
That's your action, your bonus action.
Okay.
Slasher's turn.
Oh, that's not cool.
I hope he doesn't have 60 foot movement.
He does not.
He's actually very slow once he's actually in his form here.
So he's going to use his movements.
Let's see here, what does he got?
He's going Jason X.
Yeah, so he's gonna use his full movement to just...
Oh, just run straight out or walk quickly.
Yeah, he's got to do the intimidation one.
So...
That's creepy.
Yeah, he's only able to walk up so far.
Okay, so he has lumbered forward into ranged combat,
but he does not have any ranged combat.
So his turn is...
Cool.
So next up is Duke and Glavagal.
How far away you say?
He is...
I put at 80 feet.
80 feet?
He's about...
He moved up, so yeah, he's about 60 feet.
I will shoot him with Lightning Bolt.
60 feet Lightning Bolt?
Okay.
Oh yeah, it goes 100 feet.
Yes.
And you don't need to call your friends, they're all here.
Yeah, no one's in the way.
What is that, Dex Save for me?
Dex Save, yeah.
Okay.
I think, let's see what it would be.
I believe so.
Yeah, it is a Dex Save, but let's find out what it would be, I guess.
How would I know that?
So he has to make a 14 Dex Save or take full damage.
It's half, either way.
11 plus 4.
Save.
Yeah.
Okay, I'll let the roll all 8, though.
He does 8, D6.
You think it's funny?
No, he does.
1, 7, 18, 27, 33, it's the last one.
334, split down the middle, so 17.
17 and a half.
Okay, 17 damage.
I think it would just be 17.
No, it's 17.
Whatever.
Everybody does math in their head a little different.
I'm going to end the head math, I hate writing it down.
Okay, next up is Glapagool.
Glapagool, haven't you liked to use Glapagool?
One second, please.
Let's make check his style.
And how close am I right now?
You guys are about 60-ish feet from him.
Well, then I will make my 15-foot movement speed distance all right now, and that will be pretty much the end of his turn.
He has no ranged attacks.
So does that move forward, 15 feet?
Yes, directly toward the enemy.
Directly toward the enemy.
That is all.
That is called yells, because I feel like I need to move forward and fight.
As he jiggles.
He gets slurred.
Wait, hold up now.
What if he does the panic, like rushing?
Like getting closer, you mean?
Faster.
Yeah, I say you can give him another 10 feet.
Let's do that.
Flip roll.
But we'll say he's like...
Kind of like a dash.
Yeah, like Zelda.
What's his...
So what do you want to do?
Because you said his eyes were kind of sputtering and he didn't like it, so I'd say maybe, what, like, disadvantage on next attack or something for the next turn if you do that.
That's fine.
Yeah, seems fair.
Because he rolls around.
Yeah, give me a little extra movement.
All right, yeah, he's close again.
He'll be stunned a little.
All right, then back to the top.
Miss Muffin.
Ah.
Crushing.
You need wheeze.
I'm going to dash, stab, and dash.
He has 60 feet from you, so what's your movement speed?
I can't do that.
Probably 30.
I only got 30.
So she doubles it.
In the hit zones, or straight, right in the face head.
Dash will double your movement speed if he's 60 feet.
So I can dash there, stab him, and only get away with 30.
Well, what is your movement speed?
Does he have counter-attack?
His movement...
Hers could be higher because she's a rogue, yeah.
So what's your movement distance?
I thought it was 30.
Should be on your main screen.
30.
30, so you'd make it there just enough that you wouldn't be able to go nowhere afterwards.
Yeah.
You can do it.
I don't want to die, so...
What's your health?
How close is Alice to me?
She's probably about 5, 10 feet in front of you.
Oh, you can take one hit.
One, maybe one.
If he has a multi-attack, you're going to be in trouble.
Okay, so hang me up.
If I dash to him and dagger him, am I close enough to dash away to Galdigal?
You don't have any ranged attacks.
If you're using all of your 60-foot movement speed just to get to him,
you would have zero movement speed left to move away until your next turn,
which would be after his turn.
I wouldn't know this guy.
He's dangerous proximity.
Do you have anything?
Yeah, anything.
You can throw on the ground.
Don't you have like a throw?
Caltrops, whatever.
I have oil of Slybrinus.
I can throw and bust on him.
Doesn't that take a while to place it?
Because you have to prepare it.
I think it takes you like 10 minutes or a minute to put yourself in.
Apply it.
Oh, was it?
No, no, no.
I also have oil flask that I can throw and shatter onto him,
and then if you light him up, he'll be all right.
How far could she throw, you think?
It would be off of her next roll or how it says it.
It says a throw.
You might miss, but you'd be at a distance to where you could run in,
throw, and run back a little bit.
You can only splash it onto the creature if they are within five feet of you
or throw it up to 20 feet.
Yeah, you throw it and it breaks on them.
That'll do it too.
So I need to dash up but stay 20 feet back.
So I'm going to run up however much that is from where I am.
So you run up 20 feet, run back, throw it, run back 20 feet?
You have to be 20 feet from it, don't you?
Yeah, to throw it out.
So you need to run like 40 feet, throw it, and then you have to run 20 feet back.
Yeah, 20 feet, run back.
That's what I want to do then.
Okay.
So I'm going to run up as fast as I can while I'm pulling out the oil flask.
I'm going to get 20 feet from him.
I'm going to chuck it out and explode it on him.
So give me a ranged attack, which will be an attack roll if your deck's dealing with a monster.
So you can throw it and hit him with it.
Roll good.
Do I have advantage because I'm, never mind, 19 plus four.
Yeah, you splash it right on him.
Yeah, he's covered in it.
And I dash back away and I'm still invisible so he doesn't know where I'm at.
You came out of invisibility, wouldn't you?
Attack.
Like for real?
Yeah, so actually I was going to give you advantage, but you said never mind because you already got it.
So you were invisible.
But you're fine.
Don't need it.
Yeah.
You are a back bear bit.
The next card in it is...
Twisty.
You can do it.
Wish I had a spell or something.
It was a cancel fold.
How does the scroll of lightning work?
You just use it.
Yeah, it's a one use.
It's the same thing.
What's the specs on it?
He has to make a deck save that's equivalent to your decks or he takes the full brunt of 8d6 or half if he saves.
So either way you hit him with half of 8d6, you know, because you have to roll all eight and then...
Yeah, I'm going to do that.
Okay.
He's a worthy opponent to use in.
Deck save.
Is anyone in the way?
What's your deck?
What is my deck?
No, he's kind of over enough for you.
As long as Globogul is not in the way.
He's like... he's pretty large.
What is it?
Is that my deck?
Yeah, 12.
12.
Yeah.
Easy.
13 plus 14.
Fuck.
Yeah, he's got that plus four.
It helps.
It would be nice if you rolled a three.
Is it like half damage now?
Yes.
Yeah, so you've got to roll all eight and then we'll cut the...
What is it, D8s or sixes?
Sixes.
So one.
I'll count up how many die.
One.
Yeah.
That's cold.
That's three big-boy damage so far.
That's why they do you nice by letting you roll eight at least.
Yeah.
Because if you get four, you're going to get a six.
Are you fucking kidding me?
Another one?
Oh my fucking God!
Is that five of them?
Yes!
Curse.
What's that?
We're counting that.
That was a four on the floor.
We're counting that.
All right, what's that put us at, man?
Six.
There's a six.
What's that?
Oh, you're at four ones and then a four, so that's eight and then six.
So yeah, you're 14.
14.
And you have one roll left.
One.
Fifteen.
Half.
Cut in half.
So that would be...
Seven and a half.
Let's round up to eight.
Eight damage.
Damage.
Let's be generous here.
Let's be generous.
Curse.
No more D8s.
Now does that lightning catch him on fire by chance?
Most likely yes.
Oh yeah, heat.
Heat lightning.
Yes.
I will.
Yes.
I forgot about that.
I'll say he catches on fire.
Let me do one thing real quick.
Do I roll for fire damage?
He screams silently inside himself.
Because you know he's not going to scream.
He said that ain't manly.
Or scared.
Oh, I'm scared.
So he does a demonic...
Oh, great.
It's not good.
Transforms.
Yeah.
Mutates and shit.
Starts bubbling.
Okay so...
I'd put it out for everybody.
to do one D8 of fire damage.
Lovely.
First turn is one.
He does one fire damage for about that.
Eww.
He's the god of one in town.
And the cursed.
The god of one in town.
The god of one has cursed everybody.
Alright, um, yeah.
I think it's just the weight difference of that die.
It's the slasher's turn.
It's possible.
I should have let you use this one.
Uh, the slasher is what?
Sixty feet for you all so.
He was.
Someone must have moved up.
I'm not done yet though.
Oh yeah, okay.
What?
Oh yeah, you got your spiritual weapon.
Yes.
I'm gonna use that to attack.
Okay, go ahead.
Um, I forgot what the attack is on there.
It should be on there.
Uh, 1d8 plus four.
Or what's the, you gotta do it to hit.
Oh.
I think there's, it should have been on there.
Or what is it?
Is uh.
Is it just plus whatever I roll plus?
14 plus six is, yeah 20.
20?
Oh yeah, that'll hit.
Alright, and then.
Alright, so six plus four, that'd be ten damage.
Ten damage?
Good hit from your hammer.
Yeet.
That's not good.
Globacool might be taking it to the face.
Go ahead and lay him down.
So he's got a hammer, uh, just kind of flew up and smoked him with a dome piece.
Uh, so he's, I don't think, I guess.
Is he able to attack the spiritual anymore?
No.
I wouldn't think.
What do you mean?
Like the spiritual weapons, can they like, do they get, are they like, are they in initiative?
Like they attack?
I don't think so.
No, they're just turn based, I thought.
No, I think that would be like summoning like an elemental weapon or something like, or
a conjure weapon, I don't know.
Yeah, I don't know.
Okay, so he's uh.
It's a spectral weapon.
He's going to move up and he's going to take his first swing at our good friend, the Galabagool.
He's going to make his multi-attack.
Say it's what?
His multi-attack there.
Multi of them.
Uh, he's going to raise up his machete and just try to cleave right through Globacool.
It's a five plus.
How pleasant.
Eight?
Thirteen?
A what?
Five plus eight?
Yeah.
Thirteen?
Yeah.
That hit.
Um.
Yeah.
It surely did hit.
The max damage roll, eight plus four.
Okay.
Yeah, big wood damage.
Yup, you said multi, so I know it's not done.
Oh no, he's not done.
So uh, yeah, he's going to take his other machete swing I guess.
That's what he's going to do.
That's a low, very low, that's a three plus eight.
I'm just going to disclose the AC is six.
Oh my god.
So your plus eight will always guarantee that it hits.
Oh no.
Well.
Oh really?
Uh huh.
He fought well.
He's a big target.
Hard to miss.
But.
Two.
He did.
Two plus four.
Is he still standing?
Oh yeah.
Oh, what a tough dude.
What a tough guy.
Oh yeah, he's got some uff in him.
Yeah.
Glop-a-loo doesn't stand.
Glop-a-loo.
Uh yeah, he takes his swings and he, you know, cuts through him, cuts through him and sees
that this damn fucking creature is still standing.
A piece of glop-a-loo breaks off.
Next to us is Duke and Glop-a-Boo.
What?
A piece of glop-a-loo breaks off when he's slashing him and flies into his mouth.
Oh, no.
That didn't happen, sorry.
Am I within 30 foot of him?
Um, does it count?
Yes, he is exactly 30 feet.
Okay.
I'm gonna go into rage.
Okay.
Right off the bat.
Bonus.
Right?
Yeah.
Uh, and then I'm gonna frenzy.
Okay.
Yes.
Frenzy.
Does that just, doesn't that activate automatically?
Frenzy?
Uh-uh.
Oh.
It's a separate activation.
It has to be used with rage.
Okay.
Where?
Uh, yeah, so that'll give me my bonus action attack back.
I guess they're giving me a bonus action attack.
Risk A. I'm doing it.
Use my action to equip Dark Greatsword.
Okay.
Ooh, boy.
She's in your hands.
You feel cold.
But good.
You can do crystal looks a little paler.
Um, am I ready for blood?
Or whatever this thing carries inside of its body?
I'm gonna run straight at him.
Just straight at him?
And hit him with my bonus action attack.
Okay.
I hope.
I don't know where his AC is.
His AC could be hot.
Right up.
That would be 17.
That one will hit.
That, that, that could get hit.
Alright.
Got this.
Nine.
Okay, so 14.
4d6 plus six.
With a great sword?
Yeah.
That's bigger than that.
What was that?
Let's see.
14.
And 26.
26?
Yes, 26 damage.
You nerfed it.
What do you mean it was bigger than that?
It was.
It was like 66.
Okay, so what was the damage?
26.
26?
Okay, so you swing on it and you see your blade like hit into his like weird messed
up looking chest and it like cuts in but it comes back out but you see him not looking
very fixed.
But he does take some damage.
So you have, it's almost like as if he's got a resistance.
13 damage?
Yeah.
Thank you.
Did lighting him on fire do nothing?
Did one damage.
He got a resistance.
Dark blades I guess.
Probably just bludgeoning damage and doing it.
One of these got a resistance to drugs.
So that was Duke, now it's Globbable.
So kind of Duke, your companion.
Finally, Globby.
See if Globbable can redeem himself for being murdered by this thing.
I will strike him with my pseudopod.
Okay.
Don't ask me what that is.
I got a plus four to hit.
It's got five foot of reach.
And it does 3d6 acid damage.
So we gonna slap him.
Does that five hit?
No it does not.
Well, sorry Globbable.
You did.
Oil flask, when it is reused as a weapon and used to burn the victim, it, it's a weapon
that can be used to burn the victim.
It, where is it?
Target takes additional five fire damage from the burning oils.
Well usually they say that but I just did a roll.
And it says it'll burn for two rounds.
Okay, then I guess I need to roll for him again to see if he takes it.
It was just his turn again.
Yeah, that's four fire damage.
Nice guy.
Thank you.
That was my only one of the oil flask, but I do have oil of slipperyness.
What's the difference?
Maybe I cut your weapon off.
I would just range your attack.
You got any ranged attacks?
Carbon daggers.
But it is carbon, oh wait you went actual crack full.
So we are back to the top.
I want to say in this chaos Alice is kind of held back if she doesn't have much to do.
She's a little girl in a council uniform.
So Miss Muffins, back to you top of the round.
Round three.
So I'm going to use the dagger I caught a little bit ago.
Yeah.
And I'm going to throw it and swing it straight into his eye socket.
To what looks like an eye socket should be.
Go for it.
Never mind, crit fail.
Really?
Yeah.
I was really hoping it was a seven, but it was a one.
So I thought that.
So you throw that dagger and you are so accurate.
You throw that dagger and it flies straight out of it and sticks him right in the eye socket.
And he pulls it out and when he pulls it out his mask breaks and falls off of his face.
Wait I had a crit fail not.
I know.
Oh.
Yeah and now he's going to cause frighten on all of us.
Yeah.
It was probably his trump card but you just released it early.
Yeah.
Thanks Kelly, thanks.
Now Jason's unmasked and we can just see his fucked up birth defect incest face.
So I need, grabable is immune to frighten correct?
I've been totally looking at the ground this entire time.
So the grabable duke, Mismuffin to make wisdom saving throws, DC 14.
Did you guys up, you guys.
Well grabable?
Well grabable don't cause he's immune.
You and Mismuffin, cause Mismuffin looking right at him.
I'd say you guys are kind of not up close to see his face.
You're like 30 feet back.
Oh shit earlier.
What was it say?
I did a dexterity saving throw and added the wrong dexterity.
Did we get any bonuses?
It's alright.
Wisdom.
But I have less than what it was so it just didn't get good.
Wisdom save?
I scared.
Oh crit fail.
Really?
Again?
Are you serious?
You're dead.
You joking?
I'm not joking.
You're gonna cry and grab, you're gonna grab on his feet and kiss his boobs.
No I don't want to.
Those are nat 1.
Let me see this for a second.
I already have enough anxiety.
So duke what did you get?
3.
3?
Oh man.
Kelly, or Mismuffin and Duke, you both are frightened.
You are able to repeat a saving throw at the end of each of your turns to get the effect
gone.
But being that you failed to save by 5 or more and you crit failed by getting a 1, you will
get a short term madness and Mismuffin will get a long term madness.
Oh boy she's already mad.
I'm already mad.
What the hell is happening?
I have toxoplasmosis.
It makes her so mad she goes sane.
Loot pole.
What does madness have to do with me if I get fucked?
What would you live for me?
Okay Mismuffin and Duke roll a, er, Duke roll a d100.
Sorry this is short term right now.
D100?
Oh no.
That's not good.
47?
47.
Is that good?
No it's that bad.
Oh my god.
It's bad.
It's not good.
Jesus Christ.
Don't do this to me.
So Duke, you are hit by the horrible visit of this fucked up, creakable, burnt, nasty
face on him.
And your mind breaks a little bit and you look down.
Duke, are you holding a baby in your hand?
In your off hand?
On your left hand?
So yeah, you are holding a baby in your hand.
And you drop that item and whatever was in your hand you drop it if it was in your left
hand.
You drop it.
I have nothing in my left hand.
And this affects your actions entirely.
It's a few and then we're talking morality but you think that you are holding a baby
in your hand protecting it right now.
That is your short term madness.
Dude, just don't give a shit.
Your left hand is moving.
He's just going to throw that thing in the woods.
He's going to feed it drugs.
Call CPS.
Duke don't need no kids.
He's just going to pump a full meth and leave it by the tree over there.
Is it like stuck in my hand or dumb as I go?
Yeah, like you are, yeah, like you, this baby's in your hand no matter what you're doing.
Like you're holding a baby.
As far as Duke believes.
Maybe we should change this.
No, it's fine.
Yeah, okay.
That's fine.
This is a view.
All right, so yeah, there's your short term memory.
I used it as a shield.
Missed nothing.
Let me look up right quick at my table.
Oh, it looks like you're going to be rolling.
Okay, now you roll me a, you crit failed to be 12.
Yeah, the crit failed is why she's getting long term.
What is a D12?
Oh wait, wait, no, sorry, D100.
Okay, which is just this one or both?
Both.
You'll do that one with your 10.
One has a zero on it.
Pass to ass, but rip for the clip.
Ooh, 20 and a four.
Sorry, 24?
Okay, oh wow.
Do you have body dysmorphia?
You see yourself as ugly or deformed, so whenever you-
Don't care.
No, you do care.
So if there's ever a mirror somewhere, you will absolutely do everything in your power to avoid that mirror.
And if it causes a reflection and you see it, you will have to do some stuff.
But yes, you have body dysmorphia to where you can't go near mirrors.
Can I sit in my bath or my seat?
It's long term for a good long, long time.
Same with mine?
Yours is short.
Does this sweater make me look bad?
Okay, a couple hours.
Ten hours.
So for ten hours you were going to think you were holding a baby.
So even if you get rid of the baby, you're still going to be like-
Unable to hold anything else.
Yes, in your off cam.
I feel like my neck looks-
But I shouldn't block a sword with it because it's not a real baby.
It's just in my fucking mind.
I just lose my fingers.
You're like, ahhhh.
Okay, so-
Baby's still fine.
It's bloody gay in there.
I don't even know where you left off, Miss Muffin?
Yeah.
Okay, so flea stick, it is your turn.
Alright, well I'll be casting guiding bolt.
Are you going to do this with your eyes closed, maybe?
Because if you do-
It's going to be disadvantage, right?
Yes, but you will have to do the saves if they-
I would advise it, yeah.
If you see his face.
You're far enough back that you aren't seeing him yet, but just in case if you get close.
So I'll say-
I'm just going to stay here.
I've got 120 foot reach.
Oh yeah, then you're-
His face looks like a nuke scrotum.
That is-
Oh wait, what are you doing, guiding bolt?
Yeah.
Oh yeah, okay.
Alright, so I rolled 13 plus 6, 19.
Oh yeah, that will hit.
Alright.
Is that first level or second level that you're casting?
I cast first level.
Okay.
Alright.
Wait, what am I doing?
I believe it gives anybody advantage.
Yep, on my next roll, my bonus attack.
And if anyone who hits him gets the advantage.
Oh, okay.
Because he's got the guiding bolt on him.
Yeah, it's the mystical light glittering.
Alright.
Motherfucker.
Light them, motherfucker.
Alright, so 5, 9.
So what the hell happens to frenzy rage?
I think I'm frightened.
You have to let it rage?
So-
You know, attack for, I think like a couple of turns or something?
11 radiant damage.
Okay.
And now I'm going to attack with my spiritual weapon with advantage.
What was your radiant damage?
Huh?
What was the radiant damage?
11.
Okay.
Alright, so 18 plus 6, because I had advantage.
Now I'm going to roll 1d8.
This is the 8, right?
That's 10.
Ask the ask name.
This is the M.
Fuck.
So 5 damage with the spiritual weapon.
5 damage with the spiritual weapon.
Okay.
I think it's his turn now.
Uh, looks like Duke in Cloud of Ghouls.
So Duke.
Oh yeah.
He's going to use 1 attack instead of multi attack.
He's going to do a- oh wait, you're frightened, aren't you?
Yes.
Okay.
So he's going to do a crushing hug.
Okay.
That is very bad.
Wait, so I attack twice with that?
You are frightened, so.
Wow, the same.
Okay.
Interesting.
Is that what that's saying?
Yeah.
Hey.
So I can move my weapon and attack again with it?
You can move it anywhere.
No, I mean I can attack with it as a bonus action and then move it again and attack with
it as another bonus action.
Is that what that's saying?
I think you get 1 bonus action attack with it.
Yeah, you're going to get 1 bonus.
Okay.
That's what I was saying.
I think I was reading that wrong.
That's like way overpowered.
So yeah, he's going to-
I'm switching moves.
I got a 3 plus 8.
Does that hit?
I don't know.
Look at your AC.
15.
No.
Okay, it does not hit.
Okay.
No.
Okay, so he does not hit.
That's his turn.
I'm too scared to get hugged by it.
Next up is Duke.
Duke in Gladigle.
That was his whole turn?
Thank goodness.
Yeah, because he didn't do his multi-attack.
He just did the crushing hug.
And he's still in range, right?
Yes, he's right up on you.
Another dark greatsword turn.
Greatsword.
14, is that it?
No.
Move.
It does not.
I whiffed mine.
Oh, I was at disadvantage too, anyways.
Yeah, because you're frightened.
What does he do to frighten you?
Disadvantage, I can't move toward the target, I don't think.
If they're in view of me, you're frightened or something.
Yeah.
Gladigle?
Yeah, Gladigle.
You're frightened.
I will attempt Engulf.
Engulf.
Let me check it out real quick.
Engulf is, the cube moves up to its speed, which he's right in my face, so it shouldn't
be hard.
While doing so, it can enter large or smaller creature spaces.
Whenever the cube enters a creature space, the creature must make a DC-12 dexterity saving
through.
On successful save, the creature can choose to be pushed five feet back or to the side
of the cube.
A creature that chooses not to be pushed suffers the consequence of failing the saving through.
On failed save, the cube enters the creature's space and the creature takes 3D6 acid damage
and is engulfed.
The engulfed creature can't breathe, is restrained, and takes 6D6 acid damage at the start of
each of the cube's turns.
Okay.
So yeah.
Yeah.
He can do that then.
He's a large, so.
Yeah.
It just means I can only hold one of him or four, like, medium.
So what is it, a deck save then?
A deck save of 12, yeah.
Nothing too crazy.
Good luck.
That's a nine plus four.
You barely fucking made it.
Did I make it?
A 13, you barely made it.
Oh yeah.
Barely.
Now you gotta choose between being pushed back five foot or to the side one way or the
other five foot to get out of the cube.
Push to the side.
Okay.
Yep.
Go on to the side.
Well dang.
I tried.
All right.
He's a squirmy one, guys.
He's a smuffin'.
Your turn.
I'm gonna throw another dagger at him.
Throw it.
I'm gonna throw it freaking good this time.
It's advantageous, you're not gonna look at him.
Get closer than that.
Almost swallowed him.
Try again.
Three plus four.
No.
No, that does not do it.
Oh, yeah.
Okay.
You're using your deck.
Okay, you're using decks.
I've lost two daggers now.
Okay.
Well, that'd be that I guess.
Anything else you wanna do on your turn?
Not get clapped.
I'm gonna go ahead and go invisible.
You can't.
I think it's my short rest, isn't it?
One for short rest.
No, I don't have a thing on it.
I believe it is.
Okay, well then I'm just going to get further away from him.
Okay.
I'm sure he's distracted with the two people right in his face.
All right.
Oh my goodness.
Flee stick.
My turn?
Yes.
All right, just go ahead and give me a deck save.
A little Sacred Flame.
That's good.
It picks.
Seven plus four.
Eleven.
No.
Fails.
You're good at working at damage.
Seven radiant damage.
Eat it.
Okay.
All right, now.
You're breaking him down.
Eat it.
He tried to hug me.
Are you guys all wrong?
Wow.
All right, spiritual weapon.
And that is no good.
Start stabbing.
Yeah.
Crud.
Huh?
Crud.
Fail?
Yeah, your spiritual hammer comes with whatever weapon.
Was it a hammer?
Yeah, it was a hammer.
Okay, so yeah, you call that in and it goes to swing.
You see, like, wave his hand, like, grab a hold of it, and just, like, crush the magic,
and it, like, breaks it down into nothing.
Fuck that guy.
What a douche.
Next is the slasher's turn.
He don't have to do that.
He's got one in the glass.
Now he's going to go glabricose this time.
Nah.
He's trying to swallow him whole.
Nah.
That's a 18 plus eight.
Oh, yeah.
He's got a little bit of a
Just roll the damage.
The plus eight.
He's always going to hit.
Five plus four.
Fine.
Huh?
I said fine.
Fine.
Roll the next one.
Alright.
Multi.
Yes.
Yeah.
17 plus eight.
Oh, wait.
Sorry, forgot.
Alright, he's going to hit.
Eight plus four.
Eight plus four is the same.
Eight plus four is that you're just robbing it head.
He's a 45.
Hey, Glabagel's tough.
He starts with 84.
He's a tough guy.
Yeah.
He's got some unfulfilled...
Okay.
He's hurting.
He like it.
Next to the...
I'm going to punish him.
Up is Duke and Glabagel.
I'm punishing him.
Okay.
Roll your wisdom save.
I forgot to do that last time.
Oh.
Nothing should have to.
I forgot to do hers too.
So, I forget.
I forget.
Great fail.
Oh, my sanity.
Do I need to do it?
Oh, no.
Your short term memory is slowly turning into long term memory.
Err, madness.
Oh, is it?
So, let's roll a D100.
What?
What the fuck?
Why did she have to roll that D100?
Did she?
She did.
Oh.
No, she didn't.
Great fail again.
I didn't great fail originally.
Just now.
She was hit originally.
Or she got the long term.
Bullshit.
I'm going to roll it twice.
Forty-six.
I got a forty-seven last time.
It's fate.
Oh, it's not that bad.
You have a newfound fear of animals.
Because you've been here so long.
The character obtains a fear effect every time an animal is nearby you have to make
a save.
Not that you're scared.
Your poor horse.
For only one hour.
Is the horse considered an animal or undead?
Undead.
It's an undead animal, but I don't think it's considered as a...
Ha, it's your cat.
I might snap and kill it one day.
What about Globigul?
Is he considered an animal?
No, he's definitely a monster.
Do I need to roll for my sanity?
Yeah, go ahead.
Good.
You've got to roll to see if you're not frightened.
Because we forgot to do that.
So roll.
Wisdom save.
Oh, natural twenty.
You are broke free from your frightened state.
Yeah.
I'll say from natural twenty you're able to kind of like...
I'm going to roll.
Don't worry it's not real.
Fight the fear it's not you.
Yeah, there you go dude.
That works and you're no longer frightened.
All right.
Effective.
Ok, I'm going to foar immediately.
She was correct.
Can I now grab it with my baby hand?
All right is mayo.
That was... Mismuffin's turn? What? Whose turn was that?
It's mine.
Your turn?
Yes.
Okay, yeah, oh yeah, and she's saved, so I like to break you out with a napkin.
Okay, so Duke. Or, fuck.
Duke.
Glavagal.
Glavagal. Right?
Yes.
Duke's turn, Glavagal's turn.
Yeah, either they're both same initiative, I mean...
Yeah.
Yes, so Duke is a...
Yeah, because you failed your save and you broke out the plan.
Yeah, all normal, unless you're going disadvantage because you gotta close your eyes to swing, or...
Go through this whole process again, being frightened.
I'm gonna grapple him.
Grapple him? Okay.
Yes.
Strength on Strength.
Let me read up on it real quick here.
Target must succeed on a Strength slash Dex. It chooses which.
Saving throw, DC equals A, press Proficiency bonus, so...
Plus Strength.
Proficiency.
Whatever.
Yeah.
I guess the target chooses...
I guess for you, I thought it was just contested.
Maybe, but we did it before.
Yeah, let's do that.
Alright.
Uh, yeah, that would be a 20 Strength.
So you just got it?
That's fine, are we rolling for it?
Yeah, we're rolling contested.
Plus the bonus.
Uh...
Minus two.
Eight plus two.
Minus 13 plus five.
Okay, yeah, so you grappled him.
You got ahold of him.
This big fucking thing that's just like terrifying and squealing like...
I'm just making like, interdimensional noises of languages you can't even understand.
And now, I will use my bonus action attack for being frenzied.
Okay.
Yes, and I will hit him in the face with the Dark Race.
Okay.
With advantage.
Or we'll just do flat.
Flat.
It'll cancel out the disadvantage.
Okay.
Plus seven.
So you go to swing your sword.
Righteously.
What's going on?
You're just so, you're mentally just so, just come out of it by trying to hold a baby.
There's no baby, there's not a baby now.
Like, you are fighting.
Now I'm holding him instead of the baby.
You're trying to swing on him.
So you just do like a quick spin, swing, and roll some damage.
Oh no.
Roll your own damage.
Let's roll one.
One D6 of it?
Yeah, one D6 of it.
Five.
Five?
Yeah, you do five damage to Glavagal with your activity.
Oh.
Cleave through.
Poor guy.
A chunk of him, and you're blind, raging, frightened.
He'll forgive you.
Probably.
Maybe.
If he lives.
Yes, he goes, he goes, oh, Duke, that was me, not him.
I don't look like him, he's evil.
Well, sorry.
Yeah, I'm not talking right now.
Probably intense mumbling.
Okay.
They didn't feel it.
Glavagal's turn.
I'll hit it with my pseudopod.
Pseudopod.
There's a 15 hit?
Nope.
Just barely.
Whatever.
You guys gotta get in there, or you'll get beat to death.
Miss Nothing, your turn.
Yeah, yeah, so I'm going to double hand, grab my crowbar, and I'm going to lunge forward
and throw it over my head right at him, stick him with the crowbar.
This is like a negative one strength?
Yeah.
It will be a strength roll.
You would do attack plus your strength.
So a 15 would be the strength.
Yeah, or attack roll plus your strength modifier is what it is.
So you don't have one, do you?
My strength is minus one.
I rolled a 16.
Okay, yeah, so 15?
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah, it won't hit.
Dang.
I'm going to do my best, guys.
We're going to die.
Okay, play stick.
Alright.
Your turn.
She's just throwing everything in her purse.
I ain't got much to do.
Scabbing.
Yes.
Alright.
Should we still have some?
I mean, technically you'll have advantage because we're so close to him.
So you'll cancel out the disadvantage of being afraid.
I'm going to cast guiding bolt.
Is this level one or two now?
Level one.
Okay.
So 18 plus six.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
One, six, seven, seven plus six, 13, and another six.
So 19.
19 damage.
Radiant damage.
And whoever gets up next will have advantage.
You guys heard?
But I think it's his turn next.
It is.
And I use some of my turn to step back 10 feet.
Okay, yeah, we're going to step back a little further.
GG.
Alright.
Duke.
Yes.
You feeling like getting hugged?
No.
15 plus eight.
Please, no.
As he feels his three arms, one pops out of his side, reaches around you,
and starts to grab a hold.
Is he fingering my butt?
Huh?
Is he fingering my butt while he's hugging me?
It is now.
What?
Stay away from his butt.
That's one.
Not the prostate.
One and six.
11, so six plus four, 11 damage from his hug.
Now, you need to make a straight saving throw.
Okay.
To not be grappled.
Because he's crushing hugged.
11.
You're grappled.
Awesome.
Okay, yep, and your next turn you will take damage from his crushing your spine.
Squeezing.
How pleasant.
Is he immobile while he's doing that?
No, he's got multiple arms.
I meant like walking around was.
Yeah, he can't.
He's just carrying me around like a small child.
No, he's not going to just drag you around like a small child.
He is kind of like standing there, yeah, grabbing a hold of you.
Squeezing me like a small child.
That was him.
So, Duke, it's your turn.
If you want to make, I guess, another strength saving throw to try and not break out.
Yes.
Can I throw stuff to him to use on his turn from my back up?
13.
Nope.
One shot.
Inspiration.
Inspiration?
Yes.
How about you do it, go for it.
Ooh, 20.
20, natural?
15 plus five.
Oh, I was like, hey, what are the odds of an inspiration?
I wish.
Yeah, so you kind of just like, bleh, blow out of his little extra arms.
And he stumbles back and, yeah, you are free.
Time to clap his hands.
Clapical, then.
Well, I guess you can take your turn.
You broke free.
That's true.
So you won't count that as my action?
Well, I still have my bonus.
It looks still frenzy.
Yeah, it hasn't been a whole turn yet, I don't think.
Can Clapical projectile spit his drug fluids into the slasher's mouth?
I don't know.
Come on, great sword.
Ooh, 14 plus seven.
Yeah, I'm going to do it.
Good.
Six.
Two, so eight.
Ten.
16 plus...
Six, so, yeah, it would be 22.
22 damage.
Slashing, so...
I'm going to do the systems map here.
Hoo hoo hoo!
Yeah, so I guess you need to roll your d12 on you, for yourself.
For the sword leaking on this fucking fucked up blood.
You said this thing is not normal blood.
Four.
Four damage to yourself.
Well, from the sword.
Yes.
Not that it has.
I think that's Clapical's turn now.
Pseudo-Bot!
Pseudo-Haw!
Come on, man, I want to land this one, at least one.
Ooh, 17 plus four.
That's hitting.
And it was...
I'll smash you, you stupid beast!
You stupid fool!
That would be 3d6 acid damage.
Jeez.
Okay, so I'll clap it through.
Six.
Five.
And then one, so...
12 damage.
12 damage?
Yes.
What's it look like as this guy fries away acid, this creature, as he dies in the acid?
Well, his ugly, blown out scrotum face just starts to liquefy and drip onto the ground.
Turns into that fucking cheese.
And when finally his body starts to quiver and shake with some...
He's finally breaking down.
He's no longer this stout, doesn't feel anything.
And then he just crumbles as a liquefying skeleton meat, fucking slosh pit.
Delicious, delicious.
You have finished him off, and you see a pink glow resonate inside of him and then just kind of flicker out and vanish.
Because his power is not...
The ship isn't powered, because you took out the pink crystal.
As he falls and melts away into nothing.
Yes.
We saved the day.
He's cleared down on a fucking can.
What a pussy.
Fuck that guy.
Now we need to find Alice's mom and tell her, we saved him.
Jason pussies.
We saved him all.
You didn't save Alice, you never made it up to her.
So yeah, hours pass by as we finish your doings and packing it up and telling them all, you finished it, you helped save a fucking day.
So as you guys pack up your stuff and you're at the entrance, you're ready to head back to Dark Haven.
Possibly check on Archie and see how he's doing and see if anything's changed.
And as you're leaving, starting to head out of the camp, you look back and the fog all around you has vanished.
It has slowly dissipated once he died.
No more boss fog.
And as you guys start to leave the camp, you take a look back and roll me a perception.
Check.
Perception.
Check.
I forgot you had advantage on those other rolls.
Well, it was disadvantaged too by looking at them, so it was.
Well, it would have just been a regular roll then.
Perception check.
17.
Perception check.
Three.
I think mine's plus four.
17's pretty good.
So as you guys are kind of riding away, Bob a ghoul's inside of the skeleton.
You have 21's.
And you look back and you see Steve waving you on and he kind of has a creepy looking expression on his face that just fades and turns darker and darker.
And you see his eyes flick black.
We gotta kill Steve.
As you leave the camp.
And as you leave the camp.