Welcome to Dummies with Dice, a podcast that's also about dummies with dice.
A viewer warning use of violence, profanity, rude humor, and the portrayal of drug and
alcohol use.
Welcome to Dummies with Dice, a Dungeons and Dragons actual play podcast that follows four
not so average dummies of our world that get caught up in a magical storm and are transported
to the world of Dungeons and Dragons where they must survive and try to find a way back
home.
Kelli?
Speak woman!
Hey peeps, I'm Kelli Lee, I play Miss Muffin, she's a crazy cat lady rogue.
Fun fact, Miss Muffin's favorite spot to walk her cats back home is down by the river.
In a van.
Down by the river.
Hey everybody, Ryan Tucker here R2.
Here I play a Fleastick Sockjelly, I am the hobo trash master cleric of the god Rumpke.
I am a mgyver of all things trash and garbage.
Fun fact, fleastick pees sitting down.
No!
Why?
I didn't expect that one.
Hey guys, Ryan, R1.
I'm playing as Archie Ortiz, the 76 year old MMA gym owner.
He's also the monk of the group.
Fun fact about Archie, he has two fake knees.
He's an old ass bitch.
Nate here.
My character's Duke Crystal, he's the 32 year old drug addicted level 4 barbarian of the
group.
Fun fact about Duke, he has a fear of styrofoam.
Fear of styrofoam?
Hi napalm!
Well, I don't know, do they have styrofoam in the indie world?
I don't think so, thank goodness.
I'm fearless in this world.
I'm Kristen Hayes.
I'm the dummy master and my fun fact is that your brain is constantly eating itself with
a process called phagocytosis.
I'm sure!
Your cells will envelop and consume smaller cells or the molecules to remove them from
the system.
Preserves gray matter.
Welcome to science class.
Gray matter is important.
Okay, back to the D&D.
You guys find yourself in combat with the invisible stalker, the Wendt Elemental.
You got the dice and soon as it started I got it.
Was that a poop?
No.
Roll initiative for me.
Oh no.
That's not great.
What's mine?
Yeah, plus four initiative.
Oh then I got 20.
I got nine.
I got 12.
Oh yeah, I wasn't listening.
You got a 20 Archie?
Uh huh.
Miss Muffin what'd you get?
Nine.
Oh yeah, I wasn't listening.
Flee stick?
Twelve.
Duke?
Six.
Good.
Okay, up first is Archie with a 20.
Oh gosh, what do I want to use here?
Good old Chesty Kane.
He's also got some monk spells and stuff.
I don't know if you've used, you got short rests, I don't know if that refills them or
not.
I think I'm going to use Fist of Unbroken Air.
Hmm.
Or would that even work?
Wait a minute.
It might be ultra effective.
It's an air element.
I'm reading its character sheet real quick for something, hang on.
What did you ask me?
It could either be nullified or really any.
If Fist of Unbroken Air would even work against him?
You would have to try to find out.
Let's do it.
I'm going to spend two of these key points.
It's a risk.
Okay, go ahead and smack him with it.
Oh, with disadvantage.
It's a 19.
Oh damn.
And 11, motherfucker.
11 plus anything?
Nope.
Your pluses?
You don't have a plus with the, or Fist of Unbroken Air?
Uh, 11 will not hit.
I'm going to use them, I'm not going to use them.
Two key points.
You're going to?
You are using them.
Oh, I have to.
Yeah, still uses them even if you mess.
Well that's pretty gay.
That's upsetting.
That's the sad part about spell slots and all that kind of good stuff.
Blow you low.
No!
I didn't even get the blow high.
All that energy.
No blowy.
All that energy, no blowy.
Next up is, what is your initiatives here?
Flee stick, it's you.
Alright, where is this?
You know he's in the general area behind you.
You can swing at him or do your things, but you'll have to do it with a disadvantage.
Because he is invisible.
Swing at him.
It's not my fault he's invisible.
Do you guys have a way to try and make him see?
Can I kick some dust up in there?
You can, yeah, go for it.
I'll give him a deck save or something to see if he can kind of...
Nah, that's weak.
He didn't do anything.
So yeah, you can kick some dust up on him and that will let you not have a damage or anything,
but you don't have disadvantage on your next turn of attacks you guys go through.
So yeah, make your attack.
Because you see dust obviously settle across the outline of an elemental.
Alright, now I'm going with my dragon sword.
My dragon slayer.
Dragon slayer sword.
I rolled a 13 plus 3, 16.
That will hit.
Where is it?
Oh wait, you used your action to kick up dust.
To make him...
This is a compound action.
So yeah, if you have a bonus action, you can do it.
Let me see if I do.
If you have a bonus action attack.
Yeah, like any spells or stuff like that.
Yeah, you can summon your spiritual weapon.
Yeah, I think that's what I was going to do.
Summon your spiritual weapon?
Okay.
Where do you place your spiritual weapon?
Because you guys are in a pretty tight area.
In his anus.
That's only if I use an attack action.
A new custom air sheath.
You guys are in a 10 foot hallway thing.
Or 20 foot.
20 foot each wide.
He's right up on you.
Okay, I'm summoning it.
Alright then, you do that.
In the form of a holy box fan.
Holy box fan?
I was about to say, by the power of grace.
It's a box fan.
By the power of Sunco.
Yeah.
Just kicking dust into the fan.
Yeah.
It's his turn now.
What is this alien thing?
A flee stick.
Since you're up on him and doing the last one that attacked him.
So...
Win.
He's going to do a slam.
Oh, for fuck's sake.
That's the only attack he's got. Multi attack.
Seven plus six.
Can't I block?
13.
No, your shield just gives you more AC.
13.
Now. Multi attack.
He's got the Odyssey.
It's a nat 20.
What does that mean on the second one?
He hits with it big time.
He's going to do his damage twice. Double damage.
So, 2d6.
Five.
Five plus three.
2d6 is standard?
Yeah.
So, 10, 11, 12, 13 damage on the first one.
Two plus three.
Yeah, three, two.
Two plus three. No, three plus three.
Two.
I'm dead.
Really? Does that take all your health?
No way.
It's 11.
What's 11 damage?
11 and 13.
Yeah, 24 damage.
I'm dead.
Well, what's your health? Full health.
Negative one.
You're down.
Okay.
Next up is Miss Muffin.
It's your turn.
Make your attack or whatever you're going to do with this thing.
You can do...
I am terrified.
And I'm like, what the hell?
There's no way to fight this.
I'm going to put my invisibility cloak on.
And go invisible myself.
I'm going to put my invisibility cloak on and fade out.
Okay.
You'll have to roll a stealth check not to be seen by it.
Stuff like that.
Okay.
Which is what?
Duke, it's your turn.
When it's on its turn, when it goes to see you,
it can attack you to see if it can see you.
Well, that depends.
I might be able to spike him right now.
Well, you've got Nat 20, so that's like one triple.
What's the layout?
So there's the bones further ahead there.
And then the stalker is in between the bones and Flea Stick and Archie right there.
You guys have like a 20 foot wide room.
I still get the use of mine.
So if we were talking like a five foot wide, 100 foot long straight line,
how many people are going to notice just linear tube like, like a long straw essentially.
I have them placed.
Kelly's back here.
She's invisible.
She's out of the way.
Archie's up there in front of it.
And Flea Stick is down right in front of it.
So you're going to hit Archie.
So two innocent casualties.
Yes, he's like dead casualties.
They would probably die.
And we're talking like what, 10 foot away?
Well, I got my bonus action, right?
Still my spiritual weapon.
You're down.
It's gone.
That's constant.
I think one, two.
Yeah.
So.
Because your magic will dissipate.
About 10 foot away.
10, 15 foot probably.
They are, yeah, right in front of you.
Five feet like right in front of you.
You're about 10 foot from the stalker and five feet from,
with Archie in front of you and Flea Stick down in front of you.
I'm going to try and get to the far side.
Okay.
Of where he's at.
Okay.
Not right up on the air elemental.
I'm going to try and get him up with my action.
Okay.
So you would make a medicine check.
I'll just give him potion of greater healing.
To stabilize him.
I have five.
I'll just shove it down his gallop.
I don't know if it works like that.
Well, how else are you supposed to get somebody up?
I got fucking, I got nuts in his mouth.
Thank you, medicine, thank you to do a medicine check to stabilize them.
I'm going to try and get him up.
Fuck it, yes, it'll work.
I'll roll if you want me to.
Do a roll, yeah.
See if he can do it.
Do a medicine check to see if you can get him up.
I don't remember, they're like a baby bird.
Yes.
Would an 18 do it?
Yes.
Gotcha.
Yeah, I rubbed his chest and like slapped him on the face a little and he woke up.
Wig up, wig up.
All right.
You'll be up with one HP.
Now you need to get away and heal.
All right, now what do I do to get me back on it?
Okay, heal one.
Yep.
Let me check this out here.
Now I'm running as far away as I possibly can.
You will have to use your next turn to disengage to run from him.
Or he's going to be able to get an opportunity to attack to punch you in the back of the head.
Does he have opportunity?
Yeah.
Fucking motherfucker.
Everyone in the game has that.
I'm just going to shield myself with my bubble.
Okay.
I have that, don't I?
You also try to put, you spoke, talked about I think putting the sword back, but that's
your option too there.
Don't always forget about that.
What the hell is that?
Then I'm going to be freaking unequipped.
I got to use my turn to come up with another weapon after I have a game-changer.
You may have a chance if you put this thing back.
I may have a chance.
Or I may be just a sword.
Duke used your turn for that, right?
So we're back up to the top.
Arch your teeth.
I think you guys can feel this one.
I can't use any of these firewalls because everybody's too slow.
Can we still see it?
Huh?
I can't use any of these firewalls because they're going to still slow them over.
Can you see it?
Yeah, can I see it?
Yeah, can we see it?
I was going to say, is it that turnover?
Turn is over, yeah.
So you definitely can see it.
Turn is over.
Yeah, so you got the kick.
Disadvantage.
Oh, you had disadvantage.
Yes, we're at disadvantage.
I missed out on it the first time, and then I got fucked the second time.
Oh my God.
Told ya.
This one is going to be tough.
I didn't want you to want me to put it back.
Wouldn't that...
He still had his one turn?
Yeah, actually yeah.
Because he didn't do his one turn.
He already had his turn over the cycle.
Yeah, you...
I don't have any range attacks on me.
So yeah, you can do a normal attack.
You still see them, so you do, but we're distracted.
We're distracted.
So you still see them.
I'm not going to let it just walk off after clapping at us like that.
Yeah.
That's what I'm saying.
Let's see what happens.
Is Flee stick closer to the elemental than I am?
No, Misfuffin's not engaged.
No, Flee stick.
Yes, he's right in front of it.
So I can like switch places with him if I use my bait and switch.
We'll see.
No, not like that.
Like you guys are blam, blam, blam, like five feet next to each other, and now Duke's on
the other side where he ran.
Or he's behind Flee stick and revive, got him up.
Alright, I am fucked.
I guess I'm going to try to hit a freaking air beam with a cane.
You just said on disadvantage you're good.
Nah, he can hit it with normal because it's still his one turn of it.
Oh, okay, gotcha.
Alright, let's see what happens if you hit something that's made of air with a cane.
11.6, so I have 17.
I hit it with some fire damage.
Yeah, I don't have anything.
You're freezing.
What is you, what are you hitting with?
With my cane.
17.
17?
Yeah.
Um, 1d.
This one?
No.
Pyramid ass to ass, I believe.
I know.
It has to be this one.
8 to 11, so classic diamond.
That's a 10.
Should look like a classic diamond shape.
Oh, it's here it is.
Yeah.
Why do we have a good scroll?
Um, 8 plus 4, so 12 damage.
12 damage?
12, yes.
12 damage.
So it worked?
Yeah, that worked.
So the cane actually hit it, oh, so I can dagger it.
I can dagger it.
Alright, what are you doing?
Alright, I'm going to bonus it, or unarmed strike.
Bonus action.
Yeah, bonus action unarmed strike.
Oh god, no I'm not.
What is it?
An 8.
Yeah, 2 plus 6.
Alright, that will not do it.
Uh, next is invisible stalker.
The invisible stalker.
Um, oh wait, I mean you, sorry.
Please stick, sorry.
What?
I was looking at his name, or, Archie's name.
I'm going to disengage.
Yes, alright.
I'm going to run back.
You're going to do like your full movement?
Probably.
How much is your, 25 feet?
Yeah.
I'll move you on here.
And then I'm going to do, um, healing word.
Okay, on yourself?
Yep.
Copy.
Wise choice, wise choice.
But that will get you by enough.
Yeah, that will get you good enough.
You can use your action healing next turn.
Yeah, to do bigger heals.
Should I just use the second level one then?
Um, maybe not.
I'll wait.
Something will help.
I'm not telling you, you should.
Alright.
What am I doing?
I'm a teammate, all advice.
Alright, so, 7, 8, 9, 10.
So, 7 plus 3, 10.
Dang, pretty good.
Good amount of HP back.
Alright.
And, I believe, does that sum it up for me?
Yep.
You're out of action.
Yep.
You're out of action.
Yep.
Next movement.
So now it looks like the only one up on him is Archie Ortiz.
It's going to be you getting smacked with a slam.
Let's hope your old knees can handle it, those fake knees.
Oh no, not the prosthetics.
You got the reaction.
That's got a plus 7.
Yes.
18 for the first one.
But I don't think it will work for him.
You got slammed.
18 for the first one.
Oh yeah, that's definitely going to hit.
I'll go with the damage first.
I don't think this one will work against him at all.
That's for like range.
Are you talking 18 damage or the roll was 18?
That was the hit.
Oh.
6 plus 3.
9.
Hey.
And then 2 plus 3.
5.
So 9 and 5.
14.
95 damage.
Oh wait, that was the first attack.
Oh.
I forgot it's a multi-attack.
18 plus 6.
I think that will hit.
It's not in that 20, so you don't get double damage.
You're at 14 damage.
5 plus 3.
2 plus 3.
5.
I need you to run away.
11.
Oh no.
13.
13, yeah.
Plus 11.
Or was it 14?
It was 14.
Oh yeah, 14 and 13.
So yeah, you were...
Yep, I'm at zero.
Jay-Z took more damage than you did on the double damage.
Really?
This is bullshit.
It's a multi-attack.
Okay, Miss Muffin, your turn.
Yeah, now I'm like triple scared again.
So...
This could be tricky.
You're squishy.
And you were down right in front of the enemy, which I'm trying to...
I don't have a way to help my brother right now.
He's down.
Shoot high.
I'm sorry.
Technically, I don't have to roll to shoot it.
I think I just aim where I want to.
What do you want?
What do you want to do there?
Any plans?
All right, I'm gonna just go ahead and wing my life and dagger it.
Are you gonna run up and dagger it?
Yep.
Said fuck makes plan.
I'd range, I wouldn't run up on you.
Well, listen, hear me out.
If I disengage or whatever and back up...
I'm trying to kill every one shot.
Archie's still laying there.
So you have a bonus action disengage because you're a rogue.
So can I use it to grab Archie?
You can run in and stab him and run away.
And then run away.
That way he don't smite you immediately after you get hit.
Can I run up, grab Archie and run away?
No.
You can run up, use the medicine check with your action to try and get him up at one health
and then run away.
Yeah, I'm gonna do that because I want to help Archie out.
And then it should be a return again before the medicine check.
So you can get a 1HP.
19.
And then I'll be free range if I can.
Yeah, you'll be able to get a 1HP.
I'll have to kick Dustin's face up because we can't see him.
Let's go.
Archie's still up.
She got me up.
Okay, now you can use your disengage bonus action to run back.
Awesome, got him up and now I'm running away.
Okay.
Miss Muffin saved the day.
Whoop whoop.
Alright, Duke.
Alright.
Look, Archie's still there.
There's not a whole lot I can do right now.
This is all I need.
Alright, yeah, I'll plan that as soon as he's up and out of the way and I got a clear shot,
I'm hitting him with the whole lightning bolt ring.
Okay, so Duke's gonna hold his turn and I'm ready for a lightning bolt.
Hold my hand.
Archie, it's your turn.
So can I disengage and use a bonus action to heal?
If you have a potion.
Yeah, I do.
Then yes, you can.
Alrighty, so I'm going to disengage and I'm going to use a potion of healing.
Good job.
That's smart actually, that makes better sense.
Okay.
So, green 4d4 plus 4 hit points.
And Duke.
Oh yeah, go ahead and do your healing rolls and then we'll go with Duke's action.
So 4d4 plus 4.
That sucks blood out of me.
That's crazy.
What is it?
It's 4d4 plus.
Frigrazier?
Yeah, plus 4.
That's insane.
You guys got that from the Ork-to-Gon I think.
I got five of them.
Listen to it bud.
So three.
And I got nine gems worth of Pity Goll each.
Five.
That's a lot of money.
Here we go.
Six.
Six plus four, so ten health back.
Yeah, brother.
No, exactly what I got.
Move, move, move.
Raise the roof.
Move, move, raise the roof.
Hold those potions close to the chest.
I'm ready to go buy a bunch of potions.
Alright, so Archie disengages, runs back and heals and Duke Crystal your action attacks
so, or happens, because you were ready.
So what's your, what do I do, deck save or something?
Yeah, it's a deck save.
And then half.
Yeah, it's half if you succeed.
Alright, I see this guy's decks.
I believe it was fourteen on the save I think.
Man.
Thirteen plus four.
Nice to save.
Alright, well that's still a lot of damage so, let's give it to him.
So four D six.
That would have helped.
Or, no it would be the full eight D six value cut.
Yeah, yeah, as I say, yeah, full eight then.
Two, four, so there's six, nine, nine.
Alright, fifteen, that was the fourth roll so, seventeen, eighteen, twenty.
That did very good.
I think that's the last roll.
Twenty-six.
Thirteen would be the half.
Thirteen.
Yeah.
Good hit.
Not what I wanted.
But, but.
That was still a good chunk of damage.
It was range damage that would be way better than like a throwing dagger.
Okay, please stick.
It is your turn.
Alright, I'm going to use the bonus action, my spiritual weapon, as a box man.
I'm placing it next to him.
It's going to kick dust off.
Okay.
So, I'm not at the advantage anymore and I'm going to roll a fireball.
Well, hang on.
As long as nobody's in the way.
Okay, good.
Yeah, you're not at disadvantage.
Okay.
Is everybody clear?
Yeah.
No.
Duke, how far, where were you?
Clear for what?
A fireball?
Yeah.
Twenty foot.
I don't know how, I don't think you're, I think you're too close.
What are the boxes?
Five foot?
Five foot.
Oh yeah, I'm like ten foot.
Ten foot away.
Can I move up on it and then blast it?
Oh, you'll die.
You might have fallen.
Yeah, it's got a big alien on it.
Yep, next turn is the stalker, so.
I would imagine since I'm closest, since I'm closest, he's probably going to move up on
me, I would imagine.
You can also do the ready action, kind of like Duke did.
That's a real role in D&D.
I know, but his turns are far away, he's not going to ever move by the time, because he's
going to, your dude's going to be swinging next.
I think the way it works is you ready based off of something too happen.
So like, if you're like, I want to ready my action for when Duke crystal runs.
Well, here, let's just do this.
Yeah, you know what I mean.
I'm going to survive his attack.
Yeah, because I got enough health to take it.
And after I take his hit, because I know he's probably going to hit me, I'm going to blast
him with my dark great sword.
And then I will use disengage and use my entire movement, 30 foot, to get the hell away from
him.
As long as you guys stay back, your prepared action should activate as soon as I'm out
of the 20 foot radius.
All right, we'll do that.
When he's clear, I'll activate scroll fireball.
Because right now he's going to aggro me because I just hit him for what, 13 to the face with
lightning and I'm close.
I'm closest to him.
Yeah, we'll do that.
As long as everybody's out of the way, it should be fine.
Slam.
Multi attack.
Duke crystal.
10 plus six.
16, that's a hit.
By one.
2d6.
Four plus three.
Seven.
Two plus three.
Seven and five.
12.
10.
Okay, next hit.
13 plus six.
Yeah, that's a hit.
Okay.
Four plus three.
12.
13 plus six.
Yeah, that's a hit.
Okay.
Four plus three.
Six plus three.
Seven and nine.
Okay.
So 16 and what was the other one?
12.
I think it was.
Oh yeah.
12 and 16.
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
I was like, wait.
I don't think I'm over 12.
28.
Oh my.
41.
What is happening?
Duke's taking some damage.
This is what I was thinking.
Are you like, doing damage?
No.
He's a barbarian.
I went from 41 to 17.
Holy shit, you have a lot of health.
I have 45, but he milled four of my health off permanently.
He's a very fucking nice.
Oh, with the sword.
When I failed my like, wisdom save on the sword.
He ate my soul.
Okay, so who's turn is it now?
Gosh, this looks crazy.
Mine.
No, flea sticks now.
Or miss muffins now.
Miss muffin.
Yeah.
It's my turn?
Yes.
I remember our plan.
If you attack, you must disengage and retreat.
Run away.
Yes, flea sticks.
You're after her, right?
Yes, he's last.
My plan may have an impact.
So I'm going to-
I just have to disengage because I don't have a bonus action.
Disengage.
She does.
So I'm going to run in, dagger it, run back out.
Because it's going to be my turn again.
I'm prepped before you even have a chance to beat me.
Nope.
Eight plus seven.
You just hold your turn.
Eight plus seven is what?
Just stay ready.
No, let's just skip your turn.
17.
15.
What?
No.
15.
Oh wait, I went like one down, down, down.
Because I won't attack them.
Yes.
That hits.
I forgot I don't have a bonus action.
Awesome.
Disengage.
So I'll have to use my action to disengage.
One D four plus five.
Now I'll just get out of the way so you can hit him.
And then I'll probably use some of my potion.
Three plus five.
Eight damage.
Should I do a little top off?
I'm going to throw one of my fireballs at him.
Let's do Crystal's turn.
No, I meant like, one of his.
Oh.
Oh yeah, it could work.
It's your turn.
Is it?
Okay.
So we got two prepared fireballs on me.
I'm going to use my fireballs.
So we got two prepared fireballs almost ready to go.
Is that what we're doing?
Cause he's got one.
Well it's going to be his turn next.
So it'll be Archie then Fleece Dick.
But his is pre-prepared as soon as I'm out of the way.
So in my turn I'm out of the way.
He's going to technically auto fire.
Maybe that's the advantage of pre-planning.
You do something on someone else's turn kind of.
Unless you want to make it other ways.
That would make sense to me.
That's the way I understand the rules.
So.
That's the way it's happening.
I'm going to use my action for disengage.
And let's see where I'm going to retreat to.
From the way.
Not much.
It's like a Mismuffin.
I'm just going to fall straight back in front of Mismuffin.
Okay.
We'll say about there he is.
About 15, 20 foot.
Looks like he's about 25 foot away.
And Fleece Dick.
Your prepared fireball.
Before that.
Sorry.
Well at the same time essentially.
I'm going to use my bonus action to do one of my greater healing potions.
Which is 4d4 plus 4.
Yes.
Greater 4d4 plus 4.
What do I have to roll for fireball?
It's a dex save.
Six.
Eight.
Nine.
Plus.
Okay.
Cool.
13 health.
Cool cool cool cool cool cool.
Fleece Dick.
Give me your prepared ready stupid D&D roll fireball.
I'm going to fireball his ass.
As long as everybody's out there.
Oh yeah I forgot it's dex save.
He said I threw it.
I threw it.
Does it hit DM?
19 plus 4.
So that's half damage I believe for a fireball when they pass.
Yeah.
19 plus 4 on his save.
Okay.
So it's just half damage now.
So you'll roll the full amount of the dice it says and then we'll just cut that number in half.
Which is.
And if it's an odd I think you round.
What was it?
8d6 higher damage.
Is that plus anything?
I don't think so because I used a scroll.
Yeah.
No it'll be just a scroll.
So two.
Is he weak to fire?
Three.
What is that?
Seven.
Damn.
Plus five.
So that's 12.
Plus six.
18.
Alright how many rolls is that?
You've done five so far.
Okay five rolls at 18.
Four.
22.
Plus five.
25.
Or no it's 27.
I see.
Plus five.
So yeah.
Damn.
32 damage.
But that's half.
So half 32.
That's what you did wasn't it?
Oh with your big attack?
13 or 14.
16.
Five.
Chiming his action with my spiritual weapon.
Oh yeah I forget it gets to hit.
Is that in your main like actions attack spot?
It might be where those are.
Because I remember it has its own to hit and everything.
It does.
I just don't remember where it's at.
Spiritual weapon here it is.
It's his box fan.
Wait you can be able to disengage.
You're not even up close are you?
No he's not.
He just launched his fireball.
Wait we don't get.
Wait no it's not your turn.
Ryan.
That was just your ready action.
You only get to do the ready part.
Well that was my turn from forever ago.
So that's all part of my ready action.
But now it's Archie's turn.
No that was just one thing.
You would have had to told him like I plan on hitting with the fireball then immediately.
I don't even think that would work either because that would be like that's like multi action.
Just let me get a paragraph.
Why would you skip your turn?
I'm going to finish the campaign.
That makes no sense.
Well it's more like those situations when you need someone to run away before you're
able to hit and it's not it's you know what I mean you got to wait.
Archie.
Your turn.
Well now that everybody is out of the way and he did that I'm going to throw one of
my fireballs off my necklace at it.
Go ahead and make a saving throw.
I think the only real bonus I can see from his turn is before your turn.
Is it 14?
15.
15?
15.
You might have done the pop at before.
Alright so half.
Let's roll all them dice again.
Alright everybody here we go again.
8d6 that was.
You going to keep counting please?
6.
Yeah.
Skipping your turn.
6.
Well 6 again so 18.
Oh my god.
18 plus 5.
Is it 23?
Yeah someone do math because I'm not good at it.
Is it 23?
Yeah.
5 again so 28.
3 so 31.
6 so 37.
Goodness there's some max damage rolls on that.
And 3 so 40.
So half 40 20 damage.
Good hit.
He's lucky he's making saves.
If he would save then he'd be clapping his head.
I'll say he's hurt so badly now that he's taking a lot of damage that he's no longer
invisible.
You see like the actual element kind of forming.
He's smoldering air.
I've got 5 more left.
Flea stick is your turn now.
I should have just thrown 2.
I figured he's only got like about 80 health probably.
And it's clear.
Roughly in that area.
We've hit him for close to 80 damage.
If I just threw 2 at his ass he'd be dead.
Flea stick it is your turn now.
Your full turn.
It's all or nothing now boys and girls.
Oh Arnold.
And cats.
And cats I guess.
I'll eat that cat like a Haitian.
I'll kill you dad.
Eating the cats and dogs.
Or eating the pets of the people that live here.
Pets of the people that live here.
Flea stick what you got?
I was looking at channel abilities.
Is that like a spell or just an action?
I think it's just your charge.
You only get like 1 or 2 per short rest or something like that.
Long rest.
It should be on like your main page.
You just scroll down or something.
And you'll just click it and use how much you want.
Yeah I think I want.
You doing full 20?
Ummm.
So I think you have to use because you only use 1 charge.
So I think you have to use like all of it either divided or.
You do.
I have to pick I have to divide 20 between all 3 of them.
And I use my charge.
Okay.
So does everybody get?
Yeah so 20 divided by 3.
Between all 4.
Because you'd get some too wouldn't you?
Or is it?
I'd divide everyone.
So you all get 5 health back?
Yeah.
Sounds good.
And then I'm going to use my bonus action.
Spiritual weapon.
Wait.
Did Kelly use you even need help?
I don't think she's even well she does have a little bit of low health.
Oh okay.
I thought she didn't even touch yet.
Did she just willy-nilly?
18 out of 35.
Yeah.
Add 5.
So you get 5 more back.
Oh.
She's losing all the jobs.
Losing all the jobs.
Okay.
Fleece take.
Is that what you said you were doing?
Nah I have 20 for you.
Something else?
Yeah my spiritual.
Okay.
Yeah.
Weapon.
My box man.
It's going to turn around and suck him through it and chop his ass up.
Okay.
Make his attack.
Make his attack roll.
I can't lay on her.
Suck his ass up.
Turn it on her.
What?
That is a.
2.
What is this plus anything?
I think it's like plus your wisdom so like probably a good chunk.
Plus your spellcasting ability.
Yeah so 4.
Yeah plus 4.
Alright so 12.
12?
Oh that will not hit.
It goes it cranks up to high.
It's like ooooh.
And he just kind of slopes through it and comes out the other side and dodges it.
But unfortunately it's his turn.
So.
That is unfortunate.
The closest one he can get to looks like.
Someone's getting slain.
Oh wait what's his movement?
Don't you dare.
He can move far.
He's a wind element.
He can fly.
Wind.
Yeah.
Fuck I hope.
So it looks like he's going to move to Duke Crystal because he's closest to him.
I figured that was the case.
Yeah.
Probably best.
I'm the only one that can take it probably.
Yeah.
I'm going to take it.
I'm the only one that can take it probably.
Is that going down?
Let's see his slams.
I was saying we know he's going to slam him.
Wind slams.
He's a one.
Two plus six.
No.
He's a one trick pony so.
Five plus six.
Get out of here.
Oh the first time he don't hit.
Got lucky.
Miss Muffin it's your turn.
He's sweating.
He just flew up to Duke Crystal and missed both of his slams.
His wind's dissipating.
He's never been pushed in a corner like this.
He's sweating.
I'm going to run up to him and continue to dagger at him.
I don't think you can get by him.
He's going to be like.
Archie your turn he's kind of looped around on the other side of the hallway
that you're in he's around the angle he's definitely just trying to duke okay
14 plus 6 20 oh yeah about to go down and 7 damage good hit good hit oh bonus
action with my unarmed strike from an unarmed strike oh my gosh is that it oh
oh the head I was like I was like wait a minute I was too for a second I was like
yeah he's around the same loop of the hallway that Archie just ran up forward
well you have to disengage yeah that's an action that's a game that's engaged
only Kelly you can move past them and like blast them with some stuff from
far if you wanted like sacred flame cantrips but oh you still have spell
thoughts yeah because you've used what healing word spiritual weapon twice I
guess I'm gonna hit him with sacred playing maybe go for it that's a deck
save I believe actually yep three plus four yeah excellent sacred flame hits
well be aid I think now means my bonus spiritual weapon do the suck him through
that will hit seven it's the invisible stalkers turn Archie actually I'm gonna
roll he's gonna swing on you Archie multi-tax
slam 16 plus 6 6 plus 3 1 plus 3 are you down 16 plus 6 5 plus 6 or 5 plus 3
sorry actually that's why I was so I put so a
without it you have some well I'm down
specific I was at a bonus action negative 15 that's just one there as long
as it's not higher than your maximum level showing the tag 15 or because they
know unless you're like I think it's like if you you're you get like way
below like the damage is dealt like more than your maximum health it will like
kill you okay so Archie is down miss muffin
run up dagger dash away dagger dash actually you get sneak attack plus one
of seeds how do you kill the invisible stalker killing good job I was I was a
worried for a moment I was like these motherfuckers are gonna die stalker falls
Archie is hurt badly you guys going to get Archie up off the ground and help
him up yeah okay what do you guys do as you kill this stalker and are left with
those dragon slaying sword and path before you heal up ol Archie feel a
bowl Archie first oh no who's got the potions I don't yeah I'll give you one
of my potions sounds forced it was forced no one asked only assumptions
made no question he's in the garbage argument so what do I get greater 44 44
plus four okay that's it what poison that's what I actually gave him a potion
nine and 13 plus four that's all those all those four at the end so 12 16 there
you go big money that's good a lot of health
yeah 16 all right anyone else doing anything guys ready to dip hell out of
this room check anything else out
the all I see in this room are the sarcophagi and then the bones of the
dragon in the wall yeah we did we found the necklace in the loop yeah I guess
we'll move out move it out so you guys move south down the hallway and you see
a path to the west a path to the east and a path going down to the south
the trifecta the triple three ways oh that's not it's you see the paths on the
west and the east both are like a double path that converged to one point and
then the path to the south is just a singular five-foot path wide path
everyone always goes right from going from west okay Duke are you leading the
way wait are you going which which way you going east or west which way left
left to our perspective left to your perspective okay so east yes okay
left hurt all right so you head down the path and it's just a long hallway that
opens up to a big room filled with sarcophagi to sarcophagi against the low
the outer wall ahead of you
bling I might be doing some great and then as you enter the room off to the
west to the right as you walk in you see a tiny tunnel that is like buried like
dug out into the wall it's like a five-foot like tiny tight tight tunnel
you're gonna have like they would you'd have to crawl to get through it
with us no I would go is still back at the camp
ninja cat so you get that thing useful yeah send her in the tunnel yes what if
she gets murdered your cat wasn't very useful okay Hazel you guys send your cat
yep I'm gonna give her a little pep talk okay break a leg do this baby girl you
know your way back and I'm right here and I'm gonna love you and you come back
well that's happening I'm searching the sarcophagi okay so you send Hazel into
the little little path in there and you're hearing like a meow meow you hear
like a big click and the tunnel caves in are you serious are you fucking serious
this episode of dummies with dice features Kelly Lee as Miss Muffin Nate
Chambers as Duke Crystal Ryan Hart as Archie Ortiz Ryan Tucker as
flea stick sock jelly and Tristan Hayes is the DM the episode is edited and
mixed by Tristan Hayes the artwork for dummies with dice created by Al
Sorensen can be found on Instagram under a R CSI zero the theme song is the
intense fiddle by Ben Caldera when it comes to dummies with dice you can find
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