1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,780 Viewer warning use of violence profanity rude humor and the portrayal of drug and alcohol use 2 00:00:04,920 --> 00:00:11,360 Welcome to dummies dice a Dungeons and Dragons actual play podcast that follows four not so average dummies of our world to get caught up in 3 00:00:11,360 --> 00:00:16,480 A magical storm and are transported to the world of Dungeons and Dragons where they must survive and try to find a way back home 4 00:00:18,520 --> 00:00:25,060 Hey everybody Ryan Tucker here, I play as please stick sock jelly. I'm the hobo trash master cleric of the group 5 00:00:25,060 --> 00:00:30,840 I am MacGyver of all things trash and garbage fun fact I had a best friend raccoon 6 00:00:31,240 --> 00:00:35,780 Living on the street named George Cooney who would bring me back valuables every night 7 00:00:37,880 --> 00:00:43,120 Hey guys are one I'm playing as Archie Ortiz the 76 year old MMA gym owner 8 00:00:43,120 --> 00:00:48,160 He's also the monk of the group fun fact about Archie. He lost his wife and an armed bank robbery 9 00:00:48,160 --> 00:00:57,520 Hey guys, it's Nate here. My character is Duke Crystal. He's the level three drug addicted barbarian of the group fun fact about Duke 10 00:00:57,760 --> 00:01:00,120 He runs almost entirely on impulse 11 00:01:01,320 --> 00:01:07,840 Yeah, as we've seen yes, he likes to bunch of people in the face. Hello. I'm Kelly Lee. I play miss muffin 12 00:01:07,880 --> 00:01:09,880 She's a crazy cat lady rogue 13 00:01:10,360 --> 00:01:13,600 Fun fact all of miss muffins cats are toilet trained 14 00:01:13,600 --> 00:01:21,120 Hi, I'm Tristan Hayes and I'm the dummy master and my fun fact is every minute the human body sheds over 30,000 dead skin cells 15 00:01:21,120 --> 00:01:23,120 Eww 16 00:01:23,120 --> 00:01:25,120 Cringe 17 00:01:25,120 --> 00:01:29,120 Do you know that primarily most of the dust in your house is dead skin cells? 18 00:01:29,120 --> 00:01:31,120 I actually did hear that once 19 00:01:31,120 --> 00:01:33,120 Dust bunnies 20 00:01:33,120 --> 00:01:47,120 Dust bunnies, but it's actually dust humans 21 00:01:48,960 --> 00:01:50,960 All right, so we left off 22 00:01:51,680 --> 00:01:53,200 athons 23 00:01:53,200 --> 00:01:56,640 Beaten body lies on the ground stabbed and smashed 24 00:01:57,600 --> 00:01:59,600 The telescope is cracked 25 00:01:59,600 --> 00:02:04,280 um, you saw your world through the telescope miss muffin did and 26 00:02:05,320 --> 00:02:11,320 Saw the four others that where they are commanding people and attacking people and forcing people to do their deeds 27 00:02:12,240 --> 00:02:15,400 What do you guys do inside the tower? What else do you want to do in here? 28 00:02:17,560 --> 00:02:20,800 That's what I was gonna say see this magic spell 29 00:02:20,800 --> 00:02:28,280 Miss muffin yeah miss muffin accent changed. All right 30 00:02:30,280 --> 00:02:32,280 She said I am southern now 31 00:02:32,280 --> 00:02:38,480 She probably has like multiple personalities or something probably miss muffins wow. All right. So you're going back check the chest miss muffin and duke 32 00:02:38,480 --> 00:02:40,480 All right 33 00:02:41,320 --> 00:02:43,320 Anybody else doing anything else in there? 34 00:02:43,560 --> 00:02:45,560 Can I search dude? 35 00:02:45,560 --> 00:02:51,200 Oh, yeah, you can search dude. Yeah, let's go for it. Give me a perception or investigation 36 00:02:52,200 --> 00:02:54,200 one of the two 37 00:02:56,840 --> 00:02:58,840 Perception it is 38 00:02:58,920 --> 00:03:03,160 Natural 20 really yep Wow. Oh, yeah. All right, so you find 39 00:03:04,040 --> 00:03:06,560 This is a weapon and it's called the eclipse staff 40 00:03:07,160 --> 00:03:10,260 Got a plus one to attack and spell casting modifier 41 00:03:10,260 --> 00:03:14,980 You can cast mass healing word once per short rest and you can use 42 00:03:15,540 --> 00:03:22,500 An action to the staff can flash a cone of radiant light to blind creatures. You have to they'll have to roll 43 00:03:23,260 --> 00:03:26,100 When you when you use the staff, you'll have to roll a d8 44 00:03:26,100 --> 00:03:33,800 So a four or lower the staff will recharge in one hour and on a five or higher that the light recharges instantly 45 00:03:33,800 --> 00:03:39,520 I'll get all that in a little bit. Yep. That's fine. We'll do that 46 00:03:41,160 --> 00:03:45,720 Would you say it was cold again? I just made it up. Okay staff 47 00:03:45,720 --> 00:03:50,920 So yeah, we'll just wait for you. Um, you also find something else 48 00:03:50,920 --> 00:03:55,160 Let me find my thingy. Yes, yes 49 00:04:00,480 --> 00:04:02,960 You find 130 gold pieces and 50 00:04:03,520 --> 00:04:11,560 You find a crystal of illumination, which is a crystal that grants the ability to see in darkness and reveal hidden secrets 51 00:04:11,560 --> 00:04:13,560 I 52 00:04:13,560 --> 00:04:17,560 Think the natural 20 in this place a lot. Okay 53 00:04:20,400 --> 00:04:22,840 All right, anything else like to do in there 54 00:04:23,720 --> 00:04:29,200 What else we got? I think I'm gonna mend that telescope. All right mend the telescope 55 00:04:29,680 --> 00:04:31,680 Seeing if you have a little magic 56 00:04:32,000 --> 00:04:36,480 Cleric powers to mend it up and telescopes crack disappears as your hands wave over it 57 00:04:36,480 --> 00:04:41,000 You're welcome people. All right, Duke and miss muffin 58 00:04:42,000 --> 00:04:47,560 Whoever wants to roll to search this chest. I know who has better stuff what I want to go for it, but go for it 59 00:04:51,680 --> 00:04:53,200 18 60 00:04:53,200 --> 00:04:55,080 Okay. All right 61 00:04:55,080 --> 00:04:56,760 you find 62 00:04:56,760 --> 00:04:58,760 the robes of the wizard 63 00:04:58,920 --> 00:05:02,520 Your robes that grant the wearer bonus spell slots and spell casting ability 64 00:05:02,520 --> 00:05:05,760 Okay, you find oh, what's that here? 65 00:05:05,760 --> 00:05:12,900 Oh a ring of elemental control a ring that allows the wielder to control the elements summon powerful elemental forces 66 00:05:12,900 --> 00:05:18,880 So you can use a lightning bolt and let's get second action to use lightning bolt to shoot a lightning bolt out 67 00:05:18,880 --> 00:05:22,180 And it'll hit enemies and bounce around to other enemies. Okay 68 00:05:24,120 --> 00:05:26,120 I'll put the ring on and 69 00:05:26,120 --> 00:05:32,880 We'll give the cake to our trash man. Well, I think you wrote it the wizard the ropes the wizard 70 00:05:32,880 --> 00:05:34,880 Yeah, that way you do 71 00:05:35,600 --> 00:05:37,320 All right 72 00:05:37,320 --> 00:05:42,260 Let's see then are you guys want to do anything else inside of the tower or you guys done here and you want to head back? 73 00:05:42,260 --> 00:05:45,760 To Dark Haven you can see Duke would you like anything I got? 74 00:05:46,400 --> 00:05:49,800 Would you like anything? I got well, you're a spellcaster too, aren't you? 75 00:05:50,560 --> 00:05:52,560 She's broke 76 00:05:52,560 --> 00:05:56,880 So yeah, he's the only one spell cast. No, I'll just naturally give you all the spell cast 77 00:05:56,880 --> 00:06:00,800 Yeah, just look out for me when you find barbarian life 78 00:06:01,680 --> 00:06:08,840 Powerful stuff, but you can see if your wine bottles come off the wall now. That's that's more clear. That's my next plan 79 00:06:09,480 --> 00:06:12,040 They're still piss covered though. That's my piss 80 00:06:13,920 --> 00:06:15,920 As a 81 00:06:15,920 --> 00:06:23,840 Small flee stick and Archie re rejoin with a Duke Crystal and Mismuffin after they find their searchings and they're heading back down 82 00:06:23,840 --> 00:06:26,440 Check on the wine bottles. See if they're still covered in piss 83 00:06:29,000 --> 00:06:31,000 You go down and 84 00:06:31,360 --> 00:06:35,880 Find a friendly alliance between flea stick and Duke Crystal as they descend down the stairs and 85 00:06:35,880 --> 00:06:45,680 You guys go back and you happen to see a puddle of broken glass wine and piss on the ground 86 00:06:45,680 --> 00:06:47,680 The shelves broken and the magic disappeared 87 00:06:50,680 --> 00:06:52,680 Weak glass 88 00:06:53,960 --> 00:06:56,360 You see a mixture of like red and yellow on the ground 89 00:07:01,200 --> 00:07:03,560 All right, so you guys done in the tower anything else 90 00:07:03,560 --> 00:07:09,160 Yeah, we can go back and see if they'll let us see what's in that hat Dark Haven 91 00:07:13,400 --> 00:07:15,400 They wouldn't let us under the hat 92 00:07:22,800 --> 00:07:27,920 You guys are gonna navigate back to dark Haven are you gonna go straight to the church or anything else you want to do in 93 00:07:27,920 --> 00:07:29,920 The town before you go into the church 94 00:07:29,920 --> 00:07:31,920 Hatch what's good? 95 00:07:32,520 --> 00:07:34,120 else wants to 96 00:07:34,120 --> 00:07:35,120 anybody 97 00:07:35,120 --> 00:07:37,120 I'm just gonna follow the okay 98 00:07:37,120 --> 00:07:41,640 So you're allowed to split up and do as you want your item bit like a break period of anything exciting that 99 00:07:42,960 --> 00:07:44,840 Alright, so 100 00:07:44,840 --> 00:07:47,840 You guys start to make your way back to the church 101 00:07:48,880 --> 00:07:50,880 and as you enter 102 00:07:51,560 --> 00:07:56,400 Lilith Darko turns around she says oh you're back. You're back. Okay. Um, did you guys take care of the Wizard of Light? 103 00:07:56,400 --> 00:08:00,200 Is he is he gone depends you gonna tell us what's in your hatch? 104 00:08:01,600 --> 00:08:03,600 Okay, go ahead new persuasion check 105 00:08:04,280 --> 00:08:06,280 You're gonna go straight forward 106 00:08:07,280 --> 00:08:09,520 13 plus 5 107 00:08:10,480 --> 00:08:16,120 13 plus 5. Yeah, she goes she goes honestly listen what's what's down on the hatch is nothing good 108 00:08:18,280 --> 00:08:22,000 She goes if you want to go down there like sure you guys can go down there 109 00:08:22,000 --> 00:08:27,680 But there's gonna be bad stuff. We haven't made it would clear it out. So if you continue down that that's on you 110 00:08:27,680 --> 00:08:33,160 But I really wouldn't risk it clear what out what bad stuff what's down there. Is there any valuables? 111 00:08:33,760 --> 00:08:36,440 She there may there may be there may be valuables 112 00:08:36,440 --> 00:08:40,000 But we haven't really made it far in because it's scary as hell down there 113 00:08:40,240 --> 00:08:42,240 Scary as hell and we do not want to deal with it 114 00:08:42,240 --> 00:08:47,320 You've been trying to get further in with other people but they either don't come back or they come back and never go back again 115 00:08:47,320 --> 00:08:52,080 If y'all ready to clear a hatch or you want to do something else, let's go in the hat 116 00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:57,520 Yeah, I want to I want to get my weapons correct 117 00:08:57,640 --> 00:09:03,400 All right, so you're gonna you say you're gonna take kind of like a rest up before you guys head out to the Wizard of Light 118 00:09:03,400 --> 00:09:06,880 Yeah, okay. So as you guys start to move your way out 119 00:09:07,560 --> 00:09:11,280 She calls to you flee stick and she says a flee stick 120 00:09:11,740 --> 00:09:13,980 Come back and hold back a minute and talk to me for a second 121 00:09:13,980 --> 00:09:18,060 Um, you wish to stay and talk to her? Yeah, sure. We'll see what you guys say 122 00:09:18,060 --> 00:09:18,860 Okay 123 00:09:18,860 --> 00:09:22,860 as you come back in she you see everybody else kind of walk out of the building and 124 00:09:23,020 --> 00:09:26,740 All of her like people that have been lined in this like church 125 00:09:27,140 --> 00:09:33,340 Kind of like lower their hands and stop chanting and walk out of the building and it's just you and little darko sitting here 126 00:09:33,380 --> 00:09:38,300 at the rituals podium site or the podium of the the church and 127 00:09:38,820 --> 00:09:43,140 She says flee stick you've got the connection to some kind of magic 128 00:09:43,140 --> 00:09:44,540 Do you? 129 00:09:44,540 --> 00:09:46,540 Am I correct in that? 130 00:09:46,580 --> 00:09:47,820 Yes 131 00:09:47,820 --> 00:09:51,140 Says so so we're gonna we're gonna try something 132 00:09:51,140 --> 00:09:55,280 I'm gonna try to meditate with you if you can do that and see if I can share the visions 133 00:09:55,280 --> 00:09:58,900 I've had with you to kind of better your guys's journey to see 134 00:09:59,340 --> 00:10:02,540 Getting back to your world and whatnot and what you're trying to do. Absolutely 135 00:10:03,340 --> 00:10:04,180 Okay 136 00:10:04,180 --> 00:10:10,060 So as you sit down she kind of you guys do the little crisscross applesauce sitting on the ground in front of each other 137 00:10:10,060 --> 00:10:16,620 there's incense burning candles and all this good stuff and she just begins to kind of close her eyes and meditate and 138 00:10:16,620 --> 00:10:18,620 you do the same I'm sure and 139 00:10:19,500 --> 00:10:21,380 you feel like 140 00:10:21,380 --> 00:10:23,380 Not so much dread in a bad way 141 00:10:23,660 --> 00:10:29,300 but a dread in the way that they feel it in a way that's like this is them and how they feel and 142 00:10:30,420 --> 00:10:35,140 everything goes black and you start to see flashes of your town and 143 00:10:35,140 --> 00:10:41,260 And you see the people before that they saw inside of the telescope kind of commanding people whipping people 144 00:10:42,380 --> 00:10:44,540 Now can you make me a wisdom safe? 145 00:10:54,580 --> 00:10:57,500 17 17. Okay, so you feel 146 00:10:58,220 --> 00:11:02,820 something like almost like a sharp claw just kind of clawing at the back of your head and 147 00:11:02,820 --> 00:11:05,540 You kind of brush it off and you're like, you know 148 00:11:05,540 --> 00:11:10,340 You fight against whatever that feeling is and you look further into the visions and then you start to see the four 149 00:11:11,060 --> 00:11:12,300 people that 150 00:11:12,300 --> 00:11:14,300 Look like creatures from this world 151 00:11:14,300 --> 00:11:18,860 But are in your world and they're like talking to each other and you can't hear what they're saying 152 00:11:18,860 --> 00:11:24,900 But then they're kind of looking up to the sky and talking to something else like as if they're come having a conversation with someone else 153 00:11:25,940 --> 00:11:27,940 Make me another wisdom safe 154 00:11:27,940 --> 00:11:31,580 20 natural 20. Mm-hmm. Okay. All right, so 155 00:11:32,380 --> 00:11:35,980 You feel that little itch on the back of your head again and your hand 156 00:11:36,300 --> 00:11:41,820 instinctively inside your mind reaches up and grabs and you feel an arm and then you hear a voice that 157 00:11:42,100 --> 00:11:48,540 booms out inside of your head and it says let me go and then the vision breaks away and goes off 158 00:11:49,260 --> 00:11:55,260 And you kind of are stunned there for a second as you wake back up in front of little Tharko. So 159 00:11:55,260 --> 00:11:57,260 What the fuck was that? 160 00:11:57,260 --> 00:12:00,980 She goes, I don't know. She was I've never felt whatever the hell that was 161 00:12:00,980 --> 00:12:04,020 But someone was in here with us someone was inside your mind 162 00:12:04,020 --> 00:12:08,900 I could feel it and they wanted in your mind that you fought them off because I don't know who that was 163 00:12:08,900 --> 00:12:10,900 But they were immensely powerful 164 00:12:12,460 --> 00:12:14,300 And she says 165 00:12:14,300 --> 00:12:21,460 She so she kind of like reaches out and like touches your hand and she's like, I'm gonna give you something and then your fleas 166 00:12:21,460 --> 00:12:27,540 that are covering your body and your mace they start to imbue with a little bit of magic and 167 00:12:28,420 --> 00:12:33,180 You see the fleas kind of float around you in a swarm and they start spinning around faster and faster 168 00:12:33,180 --> 00:12:34,740 And she goes here you go 169 00:12:34,740 --> 00:12:40,220 And then like pushes onto you and the fleas attached to your body and you can now cast darkness as a bonus action 170 00:12:40,220 --> 00:12:43,700 While using your fleas so it'd be like flea darkness noise 171 00:12:44,860 --> 00:12:49,660 She goes so I I've told you I've showed you the visions you can see 172 00:12:49,660 --> 00:12:54,060 I've showed you the visions you believe me that this is all I know and then she kind of 173 00:12:54,340 --> 00:12:57,380 Tells you a little bit more information and she says I've heard 174 00:12:57,940 --> 00:13:03,280 Talk and speaking of things called planar planar planar wizards 175 00:13:03,780 --> 00:13:09,460 People who can just easily transport through different dimensions and different worlds and realms 176 00:13:10,300 --> 00:13:13,860 Some that can walk to a furnace that furnace itself and come back 177 00:13:14,460 --> 00:13:18,360 I don't know any and I don't know how to find them and I don't know where you'd find them 178 00:13:18,360 --> 00:13:21,940 but I know that that would be your best shot at ever getting back to your home and 179 00:13:22,620 --> 00:13:24,500 with that she kind of 180 00:13:24,500 --> 00:13:28,100 Tells you that the hatch is yours to search as you wish when you guys are ready 181 00:13:28,180 --> 00:13:32,220 So she sends you out of the church and as you start to walk away 182 00:13:32,220 --> 00:13:36,340 She comes back kicks the door open real quick and says miss miss muffin come here real quick. I got something for you 183 00:13:37,900 --> 00:13:41,980 Miss muffin you approach you come up talk to her what you got 184 00:13:42,740 --> 00:13:44,740 she reaches out and she hands you a 185 00:13:44,740 --> 00:13:51,180 Bracelet that has like spikes around the edges and then she holds an identical bracelet and slips it on her and she says I have 186 00:13:51,660 --> 00:13:58,100 Perfected a sending stone and I'm gonna give this to you and slips it onto your wrist and you feel like a connection to her 187 00:13:58,100 --> 00:14:00,660 Almost and you can use a sending stone 188 00:14:02,460 --> 00:14:08,980 Once until the next dawn to talk to her at any time so like you guys can communicate through your bracelet 189 00:14:09,580 --> 00:14:11,760 Once a day until the next dawn to talk 190 00:14:11,760 --> 00:14:13,760 Yeah 191 00:14:13,760 --> 00:14:14,760 Interesting 192 00:14:14,760 --> 00:14:19,240 She goes use this she goes use this if you ever need to get in hold of me for anything important and then 193 00:14:19,880 --> 00:14:22,100 Slips hers on and walks on back into the church 194 00:14:23,160 --> 00:14:25,160 Anything else that you guys want to do in the town? 195 00:14:25,160 --> 00:14:27,160 I want to go to the store 196 00:14:27,280 --> 00:14:29,280 To the store? Yes. I don't trust it 197 00:14:30,280 --> 00:14:34,760 The store what why did she put this on me? I don't trust it. It's a sending stone 198 00:14:34,760 --> 00:14:37,600 You're the chosen. You're the chosen. You're the best friend 199 00:14:37,600 --> 00:14:42,040 I mean, I guess you can take it off if you want. Maybe she likes cats too. That's up to you 200 00:14:42,880 --> 00:14:45,280 She could have some info for us in the future 201 00:14:45,920 --> 00:14:50,760 Maybe it's cuz you're the only female party member. Yeah. Well, that's up you to decide what you want to do with that 202 00:14:50,760 --> 00:14:57,000 I'm gonna keep it on. I'm just scared. Okay. All right. So you're gonna go check out tiefling dirt bag. Yes, okay 203 00:14:58,200 --> 00:15:04,240 As you open the door you see a woman there and there's a sign actually outside the doors you walk up and it says 204 00:15:04,240 --> 00:15:11,120 New manage under new management and as you walk in you see a woman there and it's kind of like set up the same in a way 205 00:15:11,120 --> 00:15:13,360 But just a little bit nicer a little bit cleaner 206 00:15:14,800 --> 00:15:19,660 You walk in and she goes, oh, hi, welcome to tiefling dirt bag. She goes what can I get for you guys? 207 00:15:19,660 --> 00:15:26,340 What are you guys looking for today? Well, I got these robes here. I was seeing about trading in. Oh, you got some robes 208 00:15:26,560 --> 00:15:31,340 Let me see them and you just gonna hand them out to her and yeah, I'm gonna lay them on the counter 209 00:15:31,340 --> 00:15:36,520 I'll check them out. Okay. She like like almost looks like a severe professional 210 00:15:36,640 --> 00:15:41,400 She's like looking it over and like rubbing down the edges and like checking the edges and stuff and then she like pulls out 211 00:15:41,400 --> 00:15:46,240 One of those like single eye like monocle things and is like searching it good. She goes this thing's uh 212 00:15:46,880 --> 00:15:48,880 She's got a little bit of magic in it doesn't it? 213 00:15:49,320 --> 00:15:51,960 a bit cuz how much are you want to sell it for? 214 00:15:55,280 --> 00:16:00,160 I was thinking I'd see what you had to trade. What were you willing to offer for it? 215 00:16:00,160 --> 00:16:03,440 Oh, you're looking for a trade. Okay. Yeah, I like trading stuff 216 00:16:04,080 --> 00:16:06,080 All right. Now, let me see what I can trade 217 00:16:08,240 --> 00:16:10,320 So she does have potion of healing she's got 218 00:16:11,760 --> 00:16:13,760 normal potion of healing a 219 00:16:14,200 --> 00:16:19,240 greater potion of healing like a couple of each and then the same items that were there before 220 00:16:19,240 --> 00:16:39,240 four plus a 221 00:16:39,240 --> 00:16:43,120 Okay, so she she kind of steps up to the counter she says oh yeah, I got some stuff I can trade 222 00:16:43,360 --> 00:16:46,680 She says I have a potion of shadow walk 223 00:16:46,680 --> 00:16:51,240 And I have a potion of bloodlust a potion of eternal rest 224 00:16:51,240 --> 00:16:55,240 She says I've also got this thing here called the sword of the wretched 225 00:16:56,760 --> 00:16:58,200 and 226 00:16:58,200 --> 00:17:01,160 So you kind of like looks through this like starts looking under the counter and stuff 227 00:17:01,160 --> 00:17:03,960 She's like and then there's this this one one thing here 228 00:17:03,960 --> 00:17:05,960 it's called the skull of the ancients and 229 00:17:06,360 --> 00:17:10,760 Puts it up there on the death on the counter and says is any of this catching your eyes and does look good 230 00:17:12,280 --> 00:17:14,280 Hmm 231 00:17:14,280 --> 00:17:18,200 I want to take a little look at that sword look at the sword 232 00:17:19,240 --> 00:17:21,640 Okay, so uh, she goes. Oh, yeah the sword of the wretched 233 00:17:21,720 --> 00:17:26,520 Uh, like holds it up and uh, you can tell that this sword looks like it's gonna do some extra damage 234 00:17:27,160 --> 00:17:29,160 but she said but 235 00:17:29,320 --> 00:17:30,360 but 236 00:17:30,360 --> 00:17:33,800 Remember that there is a cost at holding such great power 237 00:17:34,120 --> 00:17:38,840 Because this thing just might slowly drain a little bit of your life force each time you use it 238 00:17:38,840 --> 00:17:43,720 But boy does it hit hard and uh kind of steps back and lets you think about what you want to do there 239 00:17:43,720 --> 00:17:45,720 When we say use it 240 00:17:45,720 --> 00:17:49,400 Do we mean swing it at someone or hold it in my hand? 241 00:17:49,400 --> 00:17:53,400 Yes, I think it's more of like a you uh take blood you're gonna give a little blood 242 00:17:53,400 --> 00:17:57,400 Oh, is it a you know equal part 50-50? 243 00:17:57,400 --> 00:17:59,400 I don't know how powerful is this thing 244 00:17:59,400 --> 00:18:04,440 She says I I can't really tell you exactly because I haven't ever used it 245 00:18:04,440 --> 00:18:07,400 This is just what I know of the thing the stories I've heard 246 00:18:07,400 --> 00:18:09,400 It's a soul stealer 247 00:18:09,400 --> 00:18:12,200 Because it is very expensive very very expensive 248 00:18:12,200 --> 00:18:14,200 Wow 249 00:18:14,200 --> 00:18:17,400 But there's plenty of other items if you want to think of or some other stuff 250 00:18:17,400 --> 00:18:19,400 And these are all trade offers, huh? 251 00:18:19,400 --> 00:18:24,600 Yes, these are trade offers. She goes like the the this here this here um 252 00:18:24,600 --> 00:18:29,400 Sword of the wretched she goes this is about 800 gold pieces. She goes so that's about 253 00:18:29,400 --> 00:18:33,400 Honestly, honestly a little more than what I'd want to give for this robe 254 00:18:33,400 --> 00:18:37,400 But the thing just you know, it's got such a cost that it's it's okay 255 00:18:37,400 --> 00:18:41,400 Huh robes must have been pretty nice 256 00:18:41,400 --> 00:18:45,400 Well, we don't have a lot of mages, but you know if we did they're gonna want this 257 00:18:45,400 --> 00:18:47,400 Yeah, I'll go ahead and take the sword why not 258 00:18:47,400 --> 00:18:49,400 All right, all right 259 00:18:49,400 --> 00:18:53,400 And she uh she kind of like pulls a robe off of it and you can hear it like as she's like putting it on 260 00:18:53,400 --> 00:18:55,400 She's like god thank god. Yes. Thank god 261 00:18:55,400 --> 00:19:01,400 And uh so like you're just gonna pick the sword up and kind of inspect it and look it over and stuff 262 00:19:01,400 --> 00:19:09,400 Yeah, all right. So what it swings for this is a great sword and it's gonna do whatever damage you're dealing 263 00:19:09,400 --> 00:19:12,400 It's gonna do double that like so you're gonna do double damage 264 00:19:12,400 --> 00:19:14,400 Whatever it says 265 00:19:14,400 --> 00:19:23,400 But it is going to I think we'll do probably like a roll with some kind of dice to see the health that it's going to take probably like a d6 or something 266 00:19:23,400 --> 00:19:29,400 Just roll a d6 and see what kind of essence of life it's gonna take as you hit with it 267 00:19:29,400 --> 00:19:31,400 So 268 00:19:31,400 --> 00:19:33,400 Damn that's kind of 269 00:19:33,400 --> 00:19:35,400 But it will do a lot of damage 270 00:19:35,400 --> 00:19:37,400 I'm a barbarian 271 00:19:37,400 --> 00:19:39,400 I got the most health out 272 00:19:39,400 --> 00:19:41,400 So as you pick up the sword 273 00:19:41,400 --> 00:19:49,400 You like grab it and it's like overwhelming like darkness like flows through you like you're you feel like your whole body is just black 274 00:19:49,400 --> 00:19:56,400 And you hear like really really really loudly inside of your head just like rapid whispers like 275 00:19:56,400 --> 00:20:02,400 Speaking quickly and rapidly inside your head you can't make any idea of what they're what they're trying to say 276 00:20:02,400 --> 00:20:07,400 But you hear lots of voices inside of your head as you hold this item 277 00:20:07,400 --> 00:20:09,400 Dude Crystal 278 00:20:09,400 --> 00:20:11,400 Wild man 279 00:20:11,400 --> 00:20:14,400 All right, is there anything else anybody else wants to do in this place? 280 00:20:14,400 --> 00:20:17,400 Anybody items that anybody else wants to look over? 281 00:20:17,400 --> 00:20:19,400 What other items you should have? 282 00:20:19,400 --> 00:20:23,400 She's got the skull of ancients. She goes this this will thing of grants you a little bit of wisdom 283 00:20:23,400 --> 00:20:29,400 It's it's it's pretty helpful. And then she's got a 284 00:20:29,400 --> 00:20:32,400 You disorder the wretched went to your friend Duke 285 00:20:32,400 --> 00:20:39,400 Potion of shadow walk, which I think kind of gives you the temporary ability to teleport and a potion of blood lust 286 00:20:39,400 --> 00:20:43,400 Which can give you an advantage on strength checks, but with the risk of going frenzy 287 00:20:43,400 --> 00:20:46,400 Losing your mind a little bit. That's cool wisdom 288 00:20:46,400 --> 00:20:51,400 Skull of wisdom or a skull of the ancients. Okay, that will be 289 00:20:51,400 --> 00:20:53,400 900 gold pieces 290 00:20:53,400 --> 00:20:55,400 Let me check me wallet 291 00:20:55,400 --> 00:21:02,400 Check me wallet. Please take old wallet. It's full of gold coins. It's not like a billfold 292 00:21:02,400 --> 00:21:07,400 Let me check me satchel 293 00:21:07,400 --> 00:21:15,400 So is that just a standard great sword on that one or a great sword plus one? 294 00:21:15,400 --> 00:21:17,400 We'll do plus one 295 00:21:17,400 --> 00:21:22,400 You're gonna have to add on that price there buddy. Oh, yeah. Yeah 296 00:21:22,400 --> 00:21:25,400 Okay, um roll persuasion check 297 00:21:25,400 --> 00:21:27,400 He said double what it was 298 00:21:27,400 --> 00:21:29,400 That's 40 299 00:21:29,400 --> 00:21:33,400 If it's double the standard standards 2d6 300 00:21:33,400 --> 00:21:35,400 But it's also losing your life so 301 00:21:35,400 --> 00:21:37,400 10 302 00:21:37,400 --> 00:21:38,400 10 303 00:21:38,400 --> 00:21:44,400 She goes honestly. No, I can't I can't do that because the last guy I mean between you and me 304 00:21:44,400 --> 00:21:49,400 He was trading literal items and stuff from here for drugs. He was trading it for drugs 305 00:21:49,400 --> 00:21:56,400 Because I need to make money to keep this place going or else we won't be a tiefling dirt bag no more in the town of Dark Haven 306 00:21:56,400 --> 00:22:00,400 So she will remain stiff at her price. Okay 307 00:22:00,400 --> 00:22:02,400 I'll tell you what 308 00:22:02,400 --> 00:22:08,400 You lower your price by 200 gold coins and I will throw in some poison lipstick 309 00:22:08,400 --> 00:22:14,400 Some poison lipstick. Yes, wait a second and she like reaches under her desk like pulls out a paper 310 00:22:14,400 --> 00:22:19,400 She's like looking through this paper and she's like she goes what we have 311 00:22:19,400 --> 00:22:24,400 We're actually missing a poison lipstick. She goes from from this place. She had what how did you get that? 312 00:22:24,400 --> 00:22:28,400 I found it when I was beating the shit out of the light bringer 313 00:22:28,400 --> 00:22:30,400 Okay, roll deception 314 00:22:30,400 --> 00:22:32,400 Oh no 315 00:22:32,400 --> 00:22:36,400 Give her the lick of the cube 316 00:22:36,400 --> 00:22:38,400 Thank you 317 00:22:38,400 --> 00:22:40,400 Often often 318 00:22:40,400 --> 00:22:46,400 12 or wait 19 19. All right, she goes oh, oh the Wizard of Light 319 00:22:46,400 --> 00:22:50,400 How did how did the Wizard of Light get stuff from my store? 320 00:22:50,400 --> 00:22:54,400 Hmm, maybe there was a maybe the guy out in this place running the floor was maybe a trader 321 00:22:54,400 --> 00:23:00,400 Maybe he he was working with the Wizard of Light because I'm sorry, you know, since you took care of him you you can keep it 322 00:23:00,400 --> 00:23:02,400 It's all good. You got that 323 00:23:02,400 --> 00:23:08,400 But she goes I I don't want to I don't want to take that back just because you know, it's I don't want to have that 324 00:23:08,400 --> 00:23:11,400 reputation with my my store, so 325 00:23:11,400 --> 00:23:16,400 She holds firm on her price, but also doesn't turn you in for 326 00:23:16,400 --> 00:23:18,400 Robbing the place 327 00:23:18,400 --> 00:23:20,400 drugs 328 00:23:20,400 --> 00:23:24,400 So, all right, what's it gonna take for you to lower your price? 329 00:23:24,400 --> 00:23:29,400 All right. She says nothing. It's staying firm. She goes I have to make my money 330 00:23:29,400 --> 00:23:31,400 You're an asshole 331 00:23:31,400 --> 00:23:35,400 We we we people run a good business off of being asshole. Sometimes it happens 332 00:23:35,400 --> 00:23:36,400 How do you try to buy? 333 00:23:36,400 --> 00:23:39,400 This golf of ancient how much is it? 334 00:23:39,400 --> 00:23:42,400 800 or 900 gold pieces 335 00:23:42,400 --> 00:23:44,400 Damn, how much you got? 336 00:23:44,400 --> 00:23:47,400 I'll tell you what since you tried 337 00:23:47,400 --> 00:23:53,400 Why don't you lower that price since I know you tried to screw over my friend just a minute ago with that sword? 338 00:23:53,400 --> 00:23:56,400 Why don't you tell me what that sword really really really really? 339 00:23:56,400 --> 00:24:01,400 She's I you know what I'll get you a little information because I'm not gonna lower my price but 340 00:24:01,400 --> 00:24:03,400 Does that sword I? 341 00:24:03,400 --> 00:24:06,400 think there's something inside of it and 342 00:24:06,400 --> 00:24:11,400 When I touched it, I heard voices and I wanted it gone. So he wanted it. He bought it. There's no refunds 343 00:24:11,400 --> 00:24:15,400 So 344 00:24:15,400 --> 00:24:21,400 If I said the voices told me to kill her if she didn't give him the skull well then she might be scared that turn you 345 00:24:21,400 --> 00:24:26,400 Had to do something. We'll see 346 00:24:26,400 --> 00:24:29,400 I'll tell you what I'll give you 800 for the skull of ancients 347 00:24:29,400 --> 00:24:31,400 But that is as much as I'm willing to spend on it 348 00:24:31,400 --> 00:24:38,400 And you know, it's just gonna be sitting in your shop for months on end and you can have food and stuff 349 00:24:38,400 --> 00:24:41,400 Alright, alright, alright, alright 800 gold pieces. I'll take it 350 00:24:41,400 --> 00:24:44,400 You can have the skull of ancients 351 00:24:44,400 --> 00:24:47,400 Haggling 352 00:24:47,400 --> 00:24:48,400 Haggling a hackler 353 00:24:48,400 --> 00:24:54,400 She has any healing potions. Yes. She has two regular healing potions and 354 00:24:54,400 --> 00:24:58,400 Two greater healing potions. How much for the greater? 355 00:24:58,400 --> 00:25:02,400 Give me one second. So I make sure I'm right. I believe it's 150 356 00:25:02,400 --> 00:25:10,400 Up the price a it will be a hundred for the potion of healing greater and 50 for a regular 357 00:25:10,400 --> 00:25:13,400 Shit no, I forgot I had a 358 00:25:13,400 --> 00:25:18,400 She says you guys I I think I think I'm gonna hold firm. I think I'm gonna hold firm my price 359 00:25:18,400 --> 00:25:22,400 You guys are just trying to get me out of everything. What will you give me for a gold bracelet? 360 00:25:22,400 --> 00:25:24,400 One customer at a time, man 361 00:25:24,400 --> 00:25:25,400 Voodoo 362 00:25:25,400 --> 00:25:27,400 Alright fine I'll pay you a hundred dollars for it 363 00:25:27,400 --> 00:25:30,400 Hundred for a good potion of greater healing she like slides it towards ya 364 00:25:30,400 --> 00:25:36,400 And she goes pleasure doing business with you for a hundred gold pieces and then grabs the gold like size it into her cash register there 365 00:25:36,400 --> 00:25:41,400 I was gonna ask her what she'll give me for a gold bracelet 366 00:25:41,400 --> 00:25:47,400 What will I give you for a gold bracelet? 367 00:25:47,400 --> 00:25:49,400 Yeah tell me 368 00:25:49,400 --> 00:25:53,400 One hundred gold pieces 369 00:25:53,400 --> 00:25:56,400 A hundred million dollars 370 00:25:56,400 --> 00:26:01,400 I will give you 25 gold pieces for a gold bracelet 371 00:26:01,400 --> 00:26:03,400 Fifty 372 00:26:03,400 --> 00:26:05,400 No 373 00:26:05,400 --> 00:26:08,400 She says 25 fucking gold pieces 374 00:26:08,400 --> 00:26:11,400 Alright 375 00:26:11,400 --> 00:26:13,400 Is what I'll give you for a fucking gold bracelet 376 00:26:13,400 --> 00:26:16,400 Well then I'm gonna keep my gold bracelet bitch 377 00:26:16,400 --> 00:26:20,400 She goes okay have a good day 378 00:26:20,400 --> 00:26:25,400 What kind of pawn shop is this? 379 00:26:25,400 --> 00:26:27,400 It's not a pawn shop 380 00:26:27,400 --> 00:26:29,400 Okay so 381 00:26:29,400 --> 00:26:32,400 What kind of pawn shop? She said what kind of gold is this? 382 00:26:32,400 --> 00:26:35,400 This is not a pawn shop this is a legitimate store 383 00:26:35,400 --> 00:26:38,400 She's starting to leave this establishment 384 00:26:38,400 --> 00:26:41,400 She is no longer wanting to fucking sell anything 385 00:26:41,400 --> 00:26:44,400 She doesn't even have a manager 386 00:26:44,400 --> 00:26:47,400 I said 20 fucking balls 387 00:26:47,400 --> 00:27:03,400 Music 388 00:27:03,400 --> 00:27:09,400 Alright so you guys walked out of Tiefen Dirtbag feeling pleased and I guess not pleased I don't know 389 00:27:09,400 --> 00:27:11,400 Not me 390 00:27:11,400 --> 00:27:16,400 And you guys what do you want to do now? Are you guys gonna go rest up and take care of yourselves for the night? 391 00:27:16,400 --> 00:27:19,400 What's going on around the town? I want to know like what else is in this town? 392 00:27:19,400 --> 00:27:23,400 We've just been to where the seller is and the new store correct? 393 00:27:23,400 --> 00:27:25,400 What else is going on? 394 00:27:25,400 --> 00:27:30,400 Well there is the tavern still that you have went to one night and then there's where you've been sleeping 395 00:27:30,400 --> 00:27:35,400 But there's also like you know people walking around there's people chanting there's all kinds of stuff happening 396 00:27:35,400 --> 00:27:42,400 I mean it's not a big town it's a very small town with about seven or eight buildings a church building and the two stores 397 00:27:42,400 --> 00:27:45,400 Okay so like a little western town 398 00:27:45,400 --> 00:27:50,400 Yeah it's a little small place they have the tavern Tiefen Dirtbag and then temple church 399 00:27:50,400 --> 00:27:52,400 Okay 400 00:27:52,400 --> 00:27:57,400 People are walking around just kind of doing the wish this never ends chant as they look up into the darkness 401 00:27:57,400 --> 00:28:04,400 And because it is getting late at night so from your big battle with the wizard and everything that's happened so 402 00:28:04,400 --> 00:28:07,400 What else is there special that you guys would like to do? 403 00:28:07,400 --> 00:28:10,400 I think I'm just standing alone on the street with a cigarette 404 00:28:10,400 --> 00:28:13,400 Standing on the street with a cigarette 405 00:28:13,400 --> 00:28:14,400 Alright 406 00:28:14,400 --> 00:28:16,400 We got around where the first time we met 407 00:28:16,400 --> 00:28:17,400 Alright 408 00:28:17,400 --> 00:28:18,400 And do a long rest 409 00:28:18,400 --> 00:28:20,400 Do a long rest 410 00:28:20,400 --> 00:28:24,400 Alright well Calendale please take a smoke and a cigarette as he falls asleep leaning against the building 411 00:28:24,400 --> 00:28:27,400 Feeling comfortable at home 412 00:28:27,400 --> 00:28:29,400 Sleeping outside by the building 413 00:28:29,400 --> 00:28:30,400 Yes 414 00:28:30,400 --> 00:28:32,400 In the mouth 415 00:28:32,400 --> 00:28:35,400 And you guys rest up for the night 416 00:28:35,400 --> 00:28:37,400 Ash is still hanging 417 00:28:37,400 --> 00:28:38,400 So 418 00:28:38,400 --> 00:28:40,400 You know that's lyrics from their song 419 00:28:40,400 --> 00:28:42,400 Really? 420 00:28:42,400 --> 00:28:44,400 So 421 00:28:44,400 --> 00:28:51,400 The night goes by pretty peacefully for everybody everyone feels pretty accomplished but also having you know the thoughts of finally 422 00:28:51,400 --> 00:29:01,400 Getting a little bit of information on where to go and what's next and planar wizards and needing to find out where a planar wizard is or who they are and what they do 423 00:29:01,400 --> 00:29:07,400 And you've got a few things on your list that you could be doing and you guys kind of all drift off to sleep 424 00:29:07,400 --> 00:29:19,400 And the night goes by and the morning comes and as it's really really real dark in the morning like early in the morning you hear absolute screaming from outside 425 00:29:19,400 --> 00:29:34,400 So you guys kind of well actually Fleestick who is outside I guess already sleeping against a building is woken up at the site of one of the halflings that was outside kind of chanting in the early morning 426 00:29:34,400 --> 00:29:48,400 Just gets absolutely eviscerated by a spear that comes through and like sticks into the ground and as you look around the corner you see like four goblins and some orcs and then this other kind of like weirder bigger goblin like walking up 427 00:29:48,400 --> 00:30:03,400 And he's got like chains wrapped to his arms the little goblin does and they're all like you hear you hear the goblin that's wrapped in chains he says let me go let me go and I'm gonna fuck them all up and then we're gonna roll initiative 428 00:30:03,400 --> 00:30:20,400 So as this town gets invaded by goblins and orcs I got a lot to roll here for these so you guys know I'm gonna do a auto roll there we go 20 did you roll a 20 also yes roll off roll off 429 00:30:20,400 --> 00:30:36,400 Eight six yeah that's right eight you rolled an eight yeah roll up again no you already got you rolled off because we both got 20s but now we both got eight no you rolled that was just to see which of us two went for it I go right after you 430 00:30:36,400 --> 00:30:46,400 So my eight before his eight year 20 before my 20 your first essentially your first determine who's determined who out of the 20s would be in front of each other 431 00:30:46,400 --> 00:31:05,400 Okay so miss nothing you got a 20 right yeah all right do crystal you're out of 20 her math ain't math you got a 20 right Duke yeah I'll be right behind her okay and Archie 12 well unless someone else flee stick your eight okay 432 00:31:05,400 --> 00:31:22,400 I keep forgetting you can add the plus three to that so technically 15 well let's do that your initiative was yeah 15 would be 15 okay yeah I got it I'll change it wait what is my initiative 15 oh nine noobs nine all right nine 433 00:31:22,400 --> 00:31:45,400 It should be high because she's got major decks plus three so you got 23 so really you would have went first things yeah all right up first is miss muffin you are laying inside your the tavern sleeping so you need to run outside and see what's going on 434 00:31:45,400 --> 00:32:13,400 It will take you about you got about 30 30 feet it's about five 10 feet to get out of the building and then as you head out of the building to your west is you can see flea stick kind of standing there and poor as there's a man spirit to the ground a halfling so to take you about 30 feet to get over there to flee stick that's what you'd like to do to move out there if there's anything special else you'd like to do 435 00:32:13,400 --> 00:32:23,400 I mean I can freak out when I hear what's happening and flop out of bed and grab hazel run outside see what's happening over there and run over to flee stick and be like dude what the fuck 436 00:32:23,400 --> 00:32:51,400 What the fuck. All right so yeah now you as you get up next to flee stick on the other side of the building you see the goblins and the orcs and then the Goblin of the chains and stuff and anything you'd like to do while you're standing there I don't think you could actually if you got ranged attacks or anything yeah yell at them oh hey yo they're about 70 feet from you you see goblins and orcs attacking they just speared a man to the ground 437 00:32:51,400 --> 00:33:19,400 I'm about to speared about 70 feet from where you are so unless you've got some kind of really good range weapon there's nothing you can really do yet yeah I'm stuck correct amando let's do that okay so then I think next up was Duke right yeah Duke Crystal so where am I you are in the same place as about Kelly was or Miss Muffin was inside the building about 10 feet to run out and about 20 30 it's about 30 feet overall to get to where they are 438 00:33:19,400 --> 00:33:49,400 walking up the street or something yeah so if you were to cut out the building go west and then down to your south is another street that goes down and then to the west is a street that goes over to where the goblins and the orcs are coming through the town there's a building there in the middle are they all in that intersection yes they're all kind of cutting through right there at that beginning street edge how many are there's four goblins about five goblins and an orc four I'm trying to line up five goblins 439 00:33:49,400 --> 00:34:15,400 and one line them up long ways oh yeah for a little bit of a bolt of yeah yeah so I'll say they're in almost kind of like there's like the chain one up ahead of them all and then there's two back of both like corners of him holding him with chains and then there's about two behind him and then an orc in the back of them kind of like leading you know like telling them all what to do 440 00:34:15,400 --> 00:34:38,400 I'll pop out straight at the chain guy what's the range 100 foot and it's five foot wide it's like a kamehameha that's 100 foot long okay all right well I did give you that so you get to use it so all right what's the save or whatever was there save it's just the deck save so I got to do that for all of them correct? 441 00:34:38,400 --> 00:34:53,400 anyone caught in a line actually they're holding them by each other so they'll bounce no matter what right oh those two guys holding the chain are hit oh yeah they're hit because they're holding metal so I don't think do you I don't know if it stops to hit or is it only a save? 442 00:34:53,400 --> 00:35:11,400 no if they're caught in the path of that straight line they're hit they have to save a bunch of deck saves yes for every one of them because if they're all within a five foot wide path of each other of the middle guy if they're two and a half foot to the left or right of the chain dude then they're probably getting hit 443 00:35:11,400 --> 00:35:27,400 all right let's roll some dice here what do I need to say what I need to beat it didn't say specific I'm like what number of the decks save was so I figured maybe you would just choose or beat my decks I don't know yeah let's just do that beat decks yeah fine all right so what's your decks? 444 00:35:27,400 --> 00:35:52,400 12 that's a 19 that's a 20 12 that's a 9 yeah so two failed one crypto six oh wait no that's just the goblins I need to do so two of the goblins failed okay two of them succeeded and then the orc I'm gonna wait till you get them all figured 445 00:35:52,400 --> 00:36:14,400 yeah orc failed and goblin and chains succeeded so I'll say the two that were holding him got zapped and failed and the orc failed I almost feel like the guy in the chains anyone touching the chains should probably be at a disadvantage because it's chains yeah correct I'll roll again for him 15 same number all right so yes he somehow miraculously survived 446 00:36:14,400 --> 00:36:43,400 holding the chains failed and the orc in the back failed so all right let me roll damage yes 8d6 Jesus fucking Christ so half of that for the guys that saved the full amount for oh well good job on this combat yeah so that's three hell yeah five six eight two so that's ten eleven maybe not fourteen the fifth roll 21 447 00:36:43,400 --> 00:37:02,400 24 that's right seventh roll 27 and then it looks like 32 damage at full didn't save and half of that for the ones that did so 32 for the ones that didn't save yes it's like 16 for the ones that did save 448 00:37:02,400 --> 00:37:29,400 that's insane all right dad isn't it crazy how we rolled perfectly Jesus fucking Christ you gave me the ability I know I did what was the half damage? 16 as a half 32 as a whole you gave him that ability and then put two very conductive people if that ever goes and hit the chain one with the dark sword 449 00:37:29,400 --> 00:37:45,400 I didn't know he was gonna for sure find the ring well that didn't work so wow okay so yeah but luckily one survived 450 00:37:45,400 --> 00:38:05,400 for long so he's like sizzling right now so Duke you uh fucking blast every one of them fried to a crisp into the ground and then you see the goblin that was in chains in the front he like falls to his knee and he like stands up and he's like you son of a bitch 451 00:38:05,400 --> 00:38:33,400 you see him pull out this potion and he drinks it and he like starts to like his skin like rips and he starts growing huge and like monstrous and you guys realize that this thing is growing to be big and monstrous his teeth grow he's got like spikes on his arms and he becomes goblinzilla and roars and gains back all of his hit points plus a little extra for his transformation 452 00:38:33,400 --> 00:38:53,400 Goblinzilla! I'm gonna dagger him. I'm gonna dagger him so. He's mad. He's real mad. He's mad. I cooked him. I have a crowbar. I gave him my Godzilla breath. Fucking crowbar! I have oil of slipperyness. 453 00:38:53,400 --> 00:39:11,400 Alright so that was his turn actually so all of his friends are fucking dead. His turn was waking up. His turn was yeah finally getting to where he needed to be after almost dying. Archie it is your turn after you just I guess you're still in the building but they underestimated my power. If you want to run out there if you want to cut around that's all up to you. 454 00:39:11,400 --> 00:39:41,400 I guess I need to be. Which way is going to put me within 30 feet of this bastard? What's up? Be careful. Which way to run to get within 30 feet of him? So you can go out of the building and into your west as you step like about five feet around the building down south there's a road and then it cuts west across to like right where he is or you go around to where they all are going straight down. Ouch. I want to go right to where he is. So you're gonna you're gonna go like where the rest of the 455 00:39:41,400 --> 00:39:55,400 mark or are you gonna cut around the building? Yeah you ain't with us yet. I don't think we can actually reach him like hand to hand. Yeah you guys can't reach him yet but it's just a matter of if you want to run to him or what you want to do. Yeah I want to go to him. Okay. 456 00:39:55,400 --> 00:40:12,400 But if you got a ranged attack like a javelin or a spear. Yeah you got any ranged. The thing I can hit him with is one is either this fist of a broken arrow or water whip and they're both 30 feet. 30 feet? I don't think that will reach. He's about yeah he's about 60 feet from where you guys were. 457 00:40:12,400 --> 00:40:31,400 Damn. Good thing I used the lightning bolt. 700 foot range. Yes so that's about it unless you got anything else that can help you out there. Okay flea stick you. Alright I'm going in with guiding bolt I'm about to smoke this one. What's the range on guiding bolt? 120 feet. Okay. 458 00:40:31,400 --> 00:40:57,400 Oh yeah. What do I got to do? Um nothing I got to roll and then on hit target takes 46 radiant damage. Okay. Okay you have to go ahead and roll it. 8 plus. Oh yeah it'll be at the very top of your spells. Plus 5. So 13. That will not hit. Fuck. Yep he's a big boy. 459 00:40:57,400 --> 00:41:15,400 Alright. That it? Can I still do anything? If you have bonus action. Oh I have bonus action. Okay you all gathered up together then you ran around the corner and smited him with a guiding bolt. Miss Muffin back to you. About 60 feet from him. 460 00:41:15,400 --> 00:41:33,400 Is my sneak attack dash will that get me close enough to spill oily oil of slipperyness in front of him so he can't get to us? Um you can. My idea is like I'm going to run up to him dump it out and run back away. 461 00:41:33,400 --> 00:41:51,400 So you can run 30 feet normal so if you used your cunning action for dash you wouldn't be able to run 60 feet but he is 60 feet from you so you'd have to run like you could run 30 feet drop the oil run 30 feet back if you'd like. Yeah that's what I'm asking. 462 00:41:51,400 --> 00:42:20,400 Okay yeah you can do that if you want. Okay. Um yeah I guess that just happens. What's the oil of slipperyness do? I don't really. I don't remember what that does. Sticking black. It's thick and heavy in the container but it flows quickly upon or when poured the oil can cover medium or smaller creatures along with the equipment it's wearing. 463 00:42:20,400 --> 00:42:42,400 Oh the creatures equipment. Um applying the oil takes 10 minutes. The affected creature then gains the effect of freedom of movement. So we'll just say if you pour that on the ground it's going to make movement speed half. Yeah that's what I was looking for. 464 00:42:42,400 --> 00:42:53,400 That said it took 10 minutes to prepare. Well that's to put it on the animal. On the whole body. On the person in the creature. But if you're just going to pour it on the ground then it would just be oil poured on the ground. 465 00:42:53,400 --> 00:43:04,400 I'm going to say I'm using it more silly. But wouldn't it just give the enemy that buff? It would just be lower. No because he wouldn't be applying it like technically to his. Oh he wouldn't be doing the 10 minute procedure. He would just be walking through some oil. 466 00:43:04,400 --> 00:43:23,400 Yeah. But isn't it flammable? Um I doubt it. Alright so yeah you're going to pour your oil and run back to the group? Wait I found it. Alternatively the oil can be poured on the ground as an action when it covers a 10 foot square duplicating the effect of grease spell in the area for 8 hours. 467 00:43:23,400 --> 00:43:35,400 So it slows and catches on fire. So yeah it slows the movement speed and can be inflamed. Yes. Yeah that's what I'm going to do. Alright good job. Good job. Alright so that kind of fills the street right there in that area. 468 00:43:35,400 --> 00:43:57,400 Um Duke Crystal it's your turn then. Now there's a giant puddle of oil or grease basically on the ground. And how far away is this creature and the said grease? Uh the creature is about 60 feet and the grease is about 30 feet. There is actually, there is actually, it's my bad for not mentioning this but there is a halfling and he's kind of stuck on the other side of the oil mark. 469 00:43:57,400 --> 00:44:12,400 Uh it doesn't, I mean there's not much you can do for that now. Oh so another survivor? But there is survivors yes on the street kind of like running back and forth and stuff because they're being. Wait a, oh okay so there is. Yeah there is one halfling survivor. I thought you meant one of the goblin survivors. No not a survivor. 470 00:44:12,400 --> 00:44:30,400 Alright so uh I don't really have any good range stuff so I guess I'll try and. Any weapons to throw? Oh yoi. Your spear? I mean yeah. Your spear? I can throw a war hammer. She's a nil in there. 471 00:44:30,400 --> 00:44:45,400 Well I guess I'll try and slightly flank around that pool of slipperiness and run my full 30 foot if I can get around it. It's like blocked in between. I mean you could but you'd have to go around the building and back down the other way. How wide is the street? 5 foot? 472 00:44:45,400 --> 00:45:05,400 Um. But couldn't you jump like across and over like at an angle? Is about. Probably. 15 foot. 15 foot. Across there. So it's throwing something in action for Barbarian? Yeah. Can I jump over it? Yeah you can try to jump over it. My strength is pretty high yeah. That's a bonus action I believe. Jump is. So yeah go for it. 473 00:45:05,400 --> 00:45:19,400 You want me to roll? Yeah strength athletics. So that's 9 plus 5. 14. Yeah you can jump over that. Some bitch ass oil pile. Yeah. Okay then I'll move my full 30 foot. And then I'm gonna. Throw hands with goblinzilla. 474 00:45:19,400 --> 00:45:42,400 I guess I'll just yeet this warhammer as hard as I can on him. Alright. You yeet that shit. And it's just strength isn't it? Yeah essentially. Oof not a good roll. 11. 11 to hit? Yeah 11 to hit. That will not. No it's. He's got very thick skin. It hit ground. 475 00:45:42,400 --> 00:46:00,400 He's like fuck. I'm tired from jumping. Um. Oh look. It's Goblinzilla's turn. Um. He can come at me if you're zapping him. I want it. Okay so Goblinzilla kind of is like you think I was little and now I'm big. 476 00:46:00,400 --> 00:46:20,400 And he picks up a dead goblin next to him that's like all fried and electrocuted and just swings it at you and tries to hit you upside the head with this dead goblin. That is a 15. That hits. Yeah 17. Yeah 15 hits. Yeah the 17. Okay so he's. We're gonna have a knockout drag out. That's fine. 477 00:46:20,400 --> 00:46:36,400 He does 8 damage. 8? Okay. I feel that. I feel that. As he just picks up a dead goblin and just fucking uses him like a club and smacks him with you. The goblin's body just kind of like rips apart as he hits you with it and you're covered in goblin guts. Nice. 478 00:46:36,400 --> 00:46:56,400 Duke just stands up and eats a bite. Duke says thanks I'll have another. 479 00:46:56,400 --> 00:47:12,400 Alright next up is not him but he's dead Archie. So I'm still 60 feet from him right? Yes sir. So I'd directly run up 30 feet and then use my water whip to try to pull him into the oil. Okay. Alright. 480 00:47:12,400 --> 00:47:27,400 Try to yank him over to the oil. Good. Give the Duke a little bit of a turnaround to smack him in the back of the head. Alright so what is that? Don't I have to. Don't you have to like hit and I have to make a save to not be pulled or something? No I have to spin 2 key points and then you have to make a dexterity saving throw. 481 00:47:27,400 --> 00:47:43,400 Fail to save the creature takes 3d10 budgeting damage plus an extra 1d10 budgeting damage for each additional key point. But I'm just going to spin. Okay. So deck save? Yes. Alright. 16, 18. 482 00:47:43,400 --> 00:48:03,400 That's likely. Actually I'm going to do this. I need to kind of. Wait so I have to roll a dexterity save? Yeah deck save. Or wait no wait what? Do I have to roll? No I rolled a dexterity save. No he rolled. He got 18. I passed. So now you need to roll your damage and is it half damage or is it no damage if I save? 483 00:48:03,400 --> 00:48:18,400 You saved like good save. Yeah it was good save but I might still take half damage. No saves are always half damage. Successful save the creature takes half as much damage. Okay so yeah you'll roll your 3. And I don't get to pull it or knock it. Yeah so you can do your 3d10 I think it was. 484 00:48:18,400 --> 00:48:34,400 Wait which ones are the? It would be like the diamond looking ones so. Pyramid ass to ass. Yeah it should be the bear. The ridge for my picture. Yeah. Zero is the 10. Yep. Alright. 3 of them will take half the damage. 485 00:48:34,400 --> 00:48:55,400 Goblinzilla will. 3. Okay. 3. 3? 3? 3. And an 8 so. No it's good. Alright. 14. 7. 7. 7. Okay so 7 damage. That's not too bad I guess. You dealt him with a water weapon. You slapped him in the face with a water weapon. That's kind of disrespectful. 486 00:48:55,400 --> 00:49:20,400 It's like being hit with a wet napkin. It's a little fly swatter. Alright. Please stick. Your turn. Alright. Oil's 30 feet. Goblinzilla and or Goblinzilla is I guess Goblinzilla is about 40 feet now because he ran up to. He's approaching. Smack you with the thing as you jumped over the stuff and threw your thing at him. So yeah he's about 40 feet now. 487 00:49:20,400 --> 00:49:43,400 Alright. Alright I'm gonna do. I need a deck save from you. Deck save? A sacred flame? Mm hmm. Okay. Blast it. Ooh that's weak. 5. 7. I'm not sure. Failed? Yeah he failed. Getting him with the radiant. You gonna light him on fire? Radiant? Yep. 488 00:49:43,400 --> 00:50:03,400 Well the plan was to have him pull him into the oil and I was gonna set his ass on fire. I was gonna say I've got two flasks so like. Yeah. Aren't I right after him? If we can get it on the second round. Two damage. I think so. Two radiant. Two radiant damage? Not bad. You guys are kind of just pelting him as this big monster just keeps getting smacked with things. 489 00:50:03,400 --> 00:50:24,400 Um. Ms. Muffin it is your turn. Yeah can I like double hand both my flasks at once and just be like. You can choose to throw one as your action. But not both at the same time? No. You can throw one. Are you trying to hit him? Yeah. Like hit him with the flasks? I guess you could try. This one's different. This one's an oil flask. 490 00:50:24,400 --> 00:50:53,400 It's two on one. It's gonna be a dex and strength bow. It says it's a clay flask. It has one pint of oil. And you can use an action to splash the oil flask onto the creature within five feet of you or throw it up to twenty feet shattering it on impact. See? You can throw it like a grenade. Throw it up to five feet? No. Thirty? Or. You can throw the oil onto the creature within five feet of you or you can throw the flask itself twenty feet and shatter it onto the creature. 491 00:50:53,400 --> 00:51:22,400 And shatter it onto the creature on impact. Okay. Are you trying to just cover it in oil to make it burn or something? Yeah. If the target takes any fire damage before the oil dries after one minute the target takes an additional five fire damage. Damn. Yeah. Okay. That's the plan. Ten turns of oil. Yeah. It would be a dex to throw it. The oil burns for two rounds. Okay. Do it. That would be a dex to throw it at him. So I need to make a dex roll? Yeah. 492 00:51:22,400 --> 00:51:52,400 Got it one sec. I got this. It's a plus three. Plus proficiency and dex. Well it's eight plus three. Okay. So I rolled an eight plus five altogether. Eight plus five. Eight, nine, ten, eleven. Well not him. Damn. But wait you said you had to hit impact and it would shatter it onto him. Yeah. Yeah. Shatter it on impact. Okay. Then you would just hit the ground in front of him and it would shatter onto him. Okay. Yeah. Okay. Then yeah I guess you got oil on him. Nice. Onto his feet. So it's going to burn from bottom up. Yeah. 493 00:51:52,400 --> 00:52:22,400 That works perfect. Okay. Yeah. So if you hit the oil pile in front of him yeah he'll do extra fire damage. Alright. Duke your turn. I guess you're actually covered in oil too. If it shattered on the ground right next to him. Sorry dude. I don't know what we did here now. He's going to clean up his water. I'm not concerned. Well yeah. No it's not flammable. It does deal extra damage to the person that got splashed on. So if it hits him with fire damage it will do extra fire damage to him. We can catch him on fire but not you. 494 00:52:22,400 --> 00:52:52,400 Unless you catch the entire pool of oil that we're standing in on fire. He jumped over the oil. So he's on the other side of the oil. I'm going to pull out my whole dark greatsword. My bad Duke. Dark greatsword? Yeah. Okay as you pull it out you feel it vibrating. Like ready. Good. Okay. And what are we doing with this dude? I'm going to try and take off his goblinzilla head. Okay. Go for it. Roll to hit with this greatsword. So seven. 495 00:52:52,400 --> 00:53:05,400 Plus seven. Fourteen. I will not hit. Not so great. What a place. Does it take from you? No he has to take blood. Blood for blood. 496 00:53:05,400 --> 00:53:14,400 Alright. His turn. So I guess it's still just Duke up in his face. I should have reckless attacked. Mistakes. 497 00:53:14,400 --> 00:53:30,400 Alright so he's going to do multi-attack. No! With a... He pulls out the skimitar and turns to swing at you. Wow! That's going to hit. The first one will hit. The second one will not. 498 00:53:30,400 --> 00:53:49,400 So that is another... Three plus two. Four damage. Or five damage. Five damage. Five damage. I'm talking about total since the smash. Oh yeah. That's his dookie boy. He's a big boy. He gets in there. He dukes it out. 499 00:53:49,400 --> 00:54:05,400 I told you he'd be a knockout target. He wanted vengeance. How far is he from me now? Ten feet. Did you run up or did you just hit from where you were? No I ran up. Thirty feet. Okay then he would be about ten feet in front of you over the gap of the oil. 500 00:54:05,400 --> 00:54:34,400 Just duking him off. Yes. About ten feet. So you'd have to jump over or walk through and have to be movement speed would cut in half. Already? Well I'm going to try to jump over it. So I can get over there too. I mean you are able to walk through it and not be covered in oil. It's just a matter of it will cut your movement speed in half and it's flammable. It's not going to make me slip and fall. No. Well yes actually. Grease does make a dex save when you get on it. Yeah I was about to say don't chip the dex save. It's like a wave. Yeah. You're welcome. 501 00:54:34,400 --> 00:55:03,400 So you can jump or you can walk. I'm going to jump over it. Okay. That's a strength athletics check. Which is good because it's good. Acrobatics. You aren't strength. You're dexterity monk. Wait what? What am I thinking of? No I have plus five acrobatics. He is proficient in athletics. That's the athletics. Yeah it's an MMA building shit. Jumping? Yeah. That ain't acrobatics. I'll have a plus two for athletics. I'll let you. He's proficient in athletics. I'll have a plus two. Okay yeah because I think athletics is just jumping. I don't think acrobatics does. Let's just try it. I'll press play. 502 00:55:03,400 --> 00:55:33,400 Let's try it. Hot dice. Hot dice. 15 plus two. Yay. Yeah. You jumped clear over it. Alright. And now I'm going to. Standing right next to the big goblinzilla as he's like breathing heavy and just throwing hands into a big crystal. I'm a goblin. Now I'm going to whack the fuck out of him. Kick him towards the oil. Whack him off. Towards the oil. Whack him off. He's nice and loose. No. Oh god. Well it's a good thing it missed. Yeah go ahead. Off the table. 503 00:55:33,400 --> 00:56:02,400 Oh my god it was worse. What is it? It's a three. Three? Alright. I won't hit it. Alright. I'm coming in and doing sacred flame. Are they going to. You gotta go for it. Are you going to. You can yell out something in combat. Is it going to hurt Duke Crystal and Archie? How close are you Duke? Sacred flame won't hurt anybody else. Can we light that bitch up? 504 00:56:02,400 --> 00:56:31,400 I'll say even if you're about to set on fire I'm going to try to use danger sense to get out of the way with the deck saves. Awesome. Well you're just doing. It's yeah. Light that bitch up. Alright. Well this won't light anything on fire. Oh. It won't? No. Sacred flame is radiant light. Not actual fire. No this shouldn't call it flame. It's like a holy flame of light. Uh. He failed. He failed? Yes. Alright. We still fucked him up though. Five damage. Nice. Yeah. 505 00:56:32,400 --> 00:56:59,400 Five damage. Shrugs it off. No. How dare you shrug off my damage. He won't shrug off my slice and dice and. Miss muffin. I'm going to freaking jump over the oil that I poured down and slice his ankles. Strength athletics dog. I have a plus one dagger and a sneak dash. Strength athletics dog. Okay one second. I have shorts for him. 506 00:56:59,400 --> 00:57:28,400 I like how everyone jumped over the oil. My athletics is a minus one. Okay. I apologize. I'm sorry. And I lost my dice. What? Don't worry I found it. I figured I was going to be the guy that jumped over and. Three. Three? To jump over it? You did not jump over it. You tried to jump over it and you just kind of like don't go very far because you're not great at jumping. 507 00:57:28,400 --> 00:57:38,400 You're not great at jumping and you're not very strong and you just kind of land right in the middle of the oil so you need to make a dex save to not fall down. 508 00:57:38,400 --> 00:57:48,400 Nine plus three. Twelve. Um. Give me one second. That's right on the fence. 509 00:57:48,400 --> 00:58:07,400 I like to try to do awesome things. What'd you get? Twelve. You fall prone. It was on the fence. And now you're covered in oil. Okay so Duke Crystal your turn big man. I'm not running through the sword again. Try. 510 00:58:07,400 --> 00:58:19,400 Can Duke Crystal's sword light the oil? No. It's on fire. Well his point was. He has. Oh he sold it. Oh shit. I'm going to roll. He's just using the sword now instead of the fire mace. Um. Or fury. 511 00:58:19,400 --> 00:58:29,400 Emerald fury that's what I'm thinking of. He's ending up with like. That is a 16. To hit? Yeah. Well not hit. Very shy. Oh no. Very shy. I'm scared. 512 00:58:29,400 --> 00:58:40,400 You got anything else? Is that your. I need to. Damn I didn't reckless attack again. Get out of the oil. Keep forgetting. Are you going to rage or anything or are you just going on? I'll go ahead and rage. Use your cane and pull me out of the oil. Is it frenzy? 513 00:58:40,400 --> 00:58:52,400 Frenzy. I don't know how it works. Is frenzy like the type of rage you have? Frenzy is what gives me a bonus attack. A bonus action attack. So do you have rage and frenzy or is it all just frenzy? I have to be rage to use frenzy. Oh okay. Alright. 514 00:58:52,400 --> 00:59:08,400 It just gives me an extra bonus action attack during rage and gives me one level exhaustion if I do it. Alright. My normal rage just gives me a plus two damage with strength weapons and physical damage resistance. Okay. For ten turns. 515 00:59:08,400 --> 00:59:37,400 Alright. Well. Good choice. Physical damage resistance because he reaches over to this halfling that was like cowering down and uses it as a weapon against you. That's a five. Why didn't he get out of there? As he can. He's stuck. That's an eight. So he. He missed the dude. Yeah he tries to reach over and grab this thing and it's like a little halfling. He uses his little nimbleness and kind of slips through his hands and he's just like. You little motherfucker I wanted to use you to kill this man. 516 00:59:37,400 --> 00:59:52,400 And it takes off running down this alleyway as he slips away. I thought you were going to say he picks the dude up and just like whiff. Whiff the thorns. He whiffs it. He misses completely. Alright. Archie. Your turn. 517 00:59:52,400 --> 01:00:21,400 Alright. I'm going to two hand swing this cane at him. Oh yeah. Crack it. Break his knee. I'm going to try. We'll see what happens. Yeah no. What is it? Nine. Nine? No. Damn. Oh no. Daniel. Alright. Please stick. Bad dice. Bad dice. Bad dice. Excuse me Bill. I'm going to have to grab one. Please stick. You can do it. It's your turn. Please stick. What's this dude doing right now? 518 01:00:21,400 --> 01:00:36,400 I just tried to use a halfling to kill Duke and failed. And Duke and Archie are on this guy swinging. Alright I'm just going to use guiding bolt. I'm going to try and end this dude. 519 01:00:36,400 --> 01:01:01,400 14 plus 5 so 19. That will hit. Definitely. Alright so. Four. How much? What is the? 46. 46. Plus 4. Plus 6. Plus 1. 15 damage. 15 damage. Good hit. 520 01:01:01,400 --> 01:01:14,400 With what? Guiding bolt. So that will also leave advantage for the next person to hit him. Yep. Yep. So you get advantage on your next roll. Yeah so there's advantage on whoever hits him next. 521 01:01:14,400 --> 01:01:34,400 Are you going to run up and attack? Well you got to get up so you got half your movement speed to move to him. But I believe you're able to. Plus I have sneak attack. Yes you can. You can make it. Alright what do I do? Just roll for it. 522 01:01:34,400 --> 01:01:48,400 Are you going to sneak attack? Yeah I'm going to get out of the oil and still slice his ankles. Okay so roll to hit and do sneak attack because you actually have advantage from the guiding bolt. So roll to hit. 523 01:01:48,400 --> 01:02:02,400 Is my tartanus a bonus action or is it just an action? Bonus. Okay. 17 plus 6 to hit. That will hit. Yes. Very good hit. Yes. Definitely hit. 524 01:02:02,400 --> 01:02:20,400 Yeah. So roll your damage for it and then also roll your sneak attack damage. Okay so my damage is 1d4 plus 4. Okay. So I got 2 plus 4 on that one. Okay. And then my sneak attack is 2d6. 525 01:02:20,400 --> 01:02:38,400 Okay. Now roll. You have to roll again to hit with sneak attack. 3. Right. Or no that's what Shreddy did. So I got 8 with that one. Okay so 8 with that one. 6 and 8. Good hit. Good hit. He's looking like he's bleeding a lot and he's feeling it. So. He should be. 526 01:02:38,400 --> 01:02:52,400 Oh he's just sticking a bunch out of the shadows. It's like. Yeah it's like. Do crystal. I'll finish him. Finish him. Workless attack. Okay. I get advantage. That's advantage. 527 01:02:52,400 --> 01:03:13,400 I got 18 plus 7. Okay. That's probably doing it. Yep. That will do it. And then 4d6 plus 6. So 5. 5 so there's 10. 12 and 17 plus 6. So. Damage. 23 damage. Smoked him. 528 01:03:13,400 --> 01:03:26,400 So this sword you fucking come down with it hard. And like you. You're swinging this sword hard. But like you feel like this sword has more power behind it than it's supposed to as you come in and you literally go like through him. 529 01:03:26,400 --> 01:03:39,400 Like down halfway through into this big thick body. Hot knife through butter. Into him. And then you just kind of pull it back out and like blood sprays all over the place as he falls over and roars in pain and falls to the ground. 530 01:03:39,400 --> 01:03:53,400 And as you all lay there just kind of you know tired sweating bleeding blood everywhere on everyone. There's dead goblin guts all over Duke Crystal. And you can't feel help but look at your sword. 531 01:03:53,400 --> 01:04:08,400 And then you start to feel the life force start to sap away a bit. And you lose two hit points as you feel a little bit of blood just kind of boil away in your body and seep into this sword's essence. 532 01:04:08,400 --> 01:04:15,400 And as it whispers kind of like keep screaming in your ear and then you hear a dark voice that says good job. 533 01:04:38,400 --> 01:04:42,400 Zero. The theme song is the intense fiddle by Ben Caldera. 534 01:04:42,400 --> 01:04:51,400 When it comes to Dummies with Dice you can find our website on rss.com slash podcast slash Dummies with Dice and on Facebook at Dummies with Dice. 535 01:04:51,400 --> 01:05:01,400 Most importantly join our Patreon at Patreon.com slash Dummies with Dice for free or for three dollars monthly to gain access to a discord and bonus content. 536 01:05:01,400 --> 01:05:20,400 Come back in two weeks for new episodes of Dummies with Dice.