WEBVTT

00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:03.379
What are the odds that a church body that is

00:00:03.379 --> 00:00:08.279
struggling with internal factions and prideful

00:00:08.279 --> 00:00:11.619
judgment of leaders and jealous quarreling and

00:00:11.619 --> 00:00:15.099
sexual immorality and defrauding each other in

00:00:15.099 --> 00:00:18.620
court would also struggle in the areas of marriage

00:00:18.620 --> 00:00:22.480
and divorce? What are the odds? Answer, 100 %

00:00:22.480 --> 00:00:27.789
chance. 100 % chance. Absolutely, that members

00:00:27.789 --> 00:00:30.589
of the first century Corinthian church were confused

00:00:30.589 --> 00:00:33.549
about marriage, confused about their sexuality,

00:00:33.890 --> 00:00:37.409
confused about divorce. After all, the Greco

00:00:37.409 --> 00:00:40.130
-Roman culture all around them was already filled

00:00:40.130 --> 00:00:43.590
with moral confusion about these things. As we've

00:00:43.590 --> 00:00:46.630
talked about before, adultery in that culture

00:00:46.630 --> 00:00:49.729
was not unusual. The use of prostitutes was a

00:00:49.729 --> 00:00:53.509
normal part of life. Homosexuality, bisexuality

00:00:53.509 --> 00:00:56.710
were perfectly acceptable. And the divorce rate

00:00:56.710 --> 00:01:00.469
was very, very high. And with that as a backdrop,

00:01:00.609 --> 00:01:03.869
now try to imagine how the gospel coming to Corinth

00:01:03.869 --> 00:01:08.290
must have added a whole new tension to this cultural

00:01:08.290 --> 00:01:12.829
mix. You have former pagans who had once seen

00:01:12.829 --> 00:01:15.250
all those things as normal part of life. They've

00:01:15.250 --> 00:01:17.829
engaged in them themselves. And now they put

00:01:17.829 --> 00:01:20.569
their trust in Christ as Savior and Lord. And

00:01:20.569 --> 00:01:22.890
now they are trying to figure out, how do I conform

00:01:22.890 --> 00:01:25.900
my life? to the instructions that are coming

00:01:25.900 --> 00:01:29.739
from the apostles. And that would have drastically

00:01:29.739 --> 00:01:32.299
altered the dynamics in every household that

00:01:32.299 --> 00:01:35.200
was touched by the gospel, by this new Christian

00:01:35.200 --> 00:01:37.739
way of life. It would have put things in turmoil.

00:01:37.840 --> 00:01:40.519
Now you have a pagan husband with a Christian

00:01:40.519 --> 00:01:43.159
wife, or you have a Christian husband with a

00:01:43.159 --> 00:01:46.079
pagan wife. You have men and women with multiple

00:01:46.079 --> 00:01:48.900
divorces in their past, and they're coming to

00:01:48.900 --> 00:01:50.939
saving faith. And all these people are coming

00:01:50.939 --> 00:01:54.359
into the church. And so for these relatively

00:01:54.359 --> 00:01:56.340
new believers, you have a whole bunch of honest

00:01:56.340 --> 00:01:59.819
questions that would have popped up. Am I sinning

00:01:59.819 --> 00:02:02.939
now every time I have sexual relations with my

00:02:02.939 --> 00:02:07.120
unbelieving spouse? Am I sinning now? Is that

00:02:07.120 --> 00:02:13.319
something that is defiling to me? Should I avoid

00:02:13.319 --> 00:02:16.340
sex altogether now and commit to celibacy? Would

00:02:16.340 --> 00:02:19.379
I be a better follower of Christ if I just divorced

00:02:19.379 --> 00:02:23.229
my unbelieving spouse? Would it be easiest and

00:02:23.229 --> 00:02:26.069
most pleasing to God if I just stay single? But

00:02:26.069 --> 00:02:28.430
then how do I avoid all the overwhelming temptation

00:02:28.430 --> 00:02:31.969
that's all around me? And it seems that the opinions

00:02:31.969 --> 00:02:33.789
of the members of this church were all over the

00:02:33.789 --> 00:02:36.490
place. Some were insisting that you have to be

00:02:36.490 --> 00:02:39.969
married, particularly the Jewish part of the

00:02:39.969 --> 00:02:42.469
church of Corinth. Others were insisting that

00:02:42.469 --> 00:02:45.210
you should move towards celibacy. Some had already

00:02:45.210 --> 00:02:47.849
divorced their spouses for so -called spiritual

00:02:47.849 --> 00:02:51.319
reasons. And so problems and confusion ruled

00:02:51.319 --> 00:02:54.080
the day there in Corinth. It was a mess. This

00:02:54.080 --> 00:02:56.280
is what Paul is walking into as he writes this

00:02:56.280 --> 00:02:58.699
letter. I've said this multiple times already

00:02:58.699 --> 00:03:01.159
in this series. I am just so grateful I don't

00:03:01.159 --> 00:03:03.740
have to shepherd a church like this one because

00:03:03.740 --> 00:03:06.500
it is a mess. By the way, just because we're

00:03:06.500 --> 00:03:08.639
living 2 ,000 years later doesn't mean that all

00:03:08.639 --> 00:03:11.360
that confusion and all those questions over marriage

00:03:11.360 --> 00:03:15.139
and divorce have just gone away. We still today

00:03:15.139 --> 00:03:17.300
have people coming out of worldly backgrounds.

00:03:18.060 --> 00:03:20.180
with all kinds of cultural baggage, and they're

00:03:20.180 --> 00:03:22.300
coming to saving faith and they're coming into

00:03:22.300 --> 00:03:24.879
the church. And then they too are trying to figure

00:03:24.879 --> 00:03:27.319
out, well, what does God desire for me in terms

00:03:27.319 --> 00:03:30.759
of marriage and sexuality? And so today we ask

00:03:30.759 --> 00:03:33.020
some of the same hard questions. Am I supposed

00:03:33.020 --> 00:03:37.180
to be aggressively pursuing marriage? And what

00:03:37.180 --> 00:03:39.159
if things go wrong in that marriage? Is divorce

00:03:39.159 --> 00:03:42.939
ever permissible for a Christian? And if so,

00:03:43.020 --> 00:03:45.259
under what circumstances? What are the standards

00:03:45.259 --> 00:03:48.419
and criteria? for a permissible divorce? And

00:03:48.419 --> 00:03:50.719
if divorce does happen, can I get remarried?

00:03:51.639 --> 00:03:53.800
So there are still lots of questions out there.

00:03:53.879 --> 00:03:55.960
So today we're moving from one uncomfortable

00:03:55.960 --> 00:03:59.219
subject to another, right? Last time we were

00:03:59.219 --> 00:04:01.099
in this book, we were talking about all kinds

00:04:01.099 --> 00:04:03.620
of sexual sin, and now we're moving towards divorce.

00:04:04.080 --> 00:04:05.479
And this is one of the things you have to love

00:04:05.479 --> 00:04:07.900
about 1 Corinthians, right? There's no holding

00:04:07.900 --> 00:04:10.719
back on difficult subjects, and there's all kinds

00:04:10.719 --> 00:04:13.979
of really practical life application. Now, this

00:04:13.979 --> 00:04:16.060
message is going to be a bit unusual for us.

00:04:16.120 --> 00:04:18.600
Before we can understand the full meaning of

00:04:18.600 --> 00:04:21.000
what Paul is writing to the Corinthian church

00:04:21.000 --> 00:04:23.980
in our passage for this morning, we need to first

00:04:23.980 --> 00:04:27.160
start in some other parts of Scripture. Because

00:04:27.160 --> 00:04:29.319
if we just look at what Paul says in this letter,

00:04:29.439 --> 00:04:32.120
we're going to miss the full picture of what

00:04:32.120 --> 00:04:35.300
God has said about divorce. Now, I tried last

00:04:35.300 --> 00:04:38.079
night with all that I had to break this message

00:04:38.079 --> 00:04:40.519
into two so that it wouldn't be so long today.

00:04:41.560 --> 00:04:44.740
Spoiler, it's going to be long. But it really

00:04:44.740 --> 00:04:47.120
does fit together. We really want to cover this

00:04:47.120 --> 00:04:50.120
issue of divorce in one message. So it's going

00:04:50.120 --> 00:04:51.939
to be a bit unusual. Now, here's the thing about

00:04:51.939 --> 00:04:55.500
divorce. It's messy. It's messy in more ways

00:04:55.500 --> 00:04:56.819
than one. And I'm going to give you a couple

00:04:56.819 --> 00:04:58.899
of reasons why it's messy. First of all, this

00:04:58.899 --> 00:05:01.959
is a very personal subject for many of the folks

00:05:01.959 --> 00:05:06.160
in this room. Because so many of us in this culture

00:05:06.160 --> 00:05:08.319
today have been touched by divorce. Whether that's

00:05:08.319 --> 00:05:11.730
personally as a child of divorced parents. or

00:05:11.730 --> 00:05:14.430
you've experienced it as an adult, having gone

00:05:14.430 --> 00:05:17.230
through any number of painful experiences in

00:05:17.230 --> 00:05:20.649
marriage, things like adultery, physical or verbal

00:05:20.649 --> 00:05:23.769
abuse, an emotional affair on the part of your

00:05:23.769 --> 00:05:27.250
spouse, abandonment, or just the very slow death

00:05:27.250 --> 00:05:30.910
of a failing marriage. So this subject is personal

00:05:30.910 --> 00:05:33.750
for a lot of us, and it's touchy, and it's painful

00:05:33.750 --> 00:05:36.449
for some folks in our body, folks that we love,

00:05:36.509 --> 00:05:38.709
folks that we want to empathize with. So just

00:05:38.709 --> 00:05:41.889
be gracious today as we walk through these truths.

00:05:42.009 --> 00:05:44.009
That's number one. The second, the Bible really

00:05:44.009 --> 00:05:47.350
only gives us a handful of basic principles as

00:05:47.350 --> 00:05:50.689
guidelines on the subject of divorce. And here's

00:05:50.689 --> 00:05:52.670
the challenge. There are almost an unlimited

00:05:52.670 --> 00:05:56.589
number of nuances to each situation when a marriage

00:05:56.589 --> 00:05:58.670
is failing and it's moving towards separation.

00:05:59.509 --> 00:06:01.689
And this makes it, let me just personally say,

00:06:01.790 --> 00:06:03.629
it makes it very, very hard for the elders of

00:06:03.629 --> 00:06:06.990
a church who usually get called in in a situation

00:06:06.990 --> 00:06:09.550
like this to discern exactly what's going on,

00:06:09.629 --> 00:06:12.129
what's been happening, and what the next steps

00:06:12.129 --> 00:06:14.629
are. So as elders who are shepherding people,

00:06:14.889 --> 00:06:17.269
we have to take those basic principles in Scripture

00:06:17.269 --> 00:06:20.930
and then apply biblical wisdom in how we handle

00:06:20.930 --> 00:06:25.129
each unique situation. And every situation is

00:06:25.129 --> 00:06:28.870
unique. Third thing that makes the subject of

00:06:28.870 --> 00:06:32.910
divorce so messy is the fleshly self -centeredness

00:06:32.910 --> 00:06:36.379
that always accompanies the run -up towards a

00:06:36.379 --> 00:06:39.399
divorce in the church. And sadly, I've had to

00:06:39.399 --> 00:06:41.899
confront this multiple times in my ministry career.

00:06:42.120 --> 00:06:44.800
A situation where somebody is obviously trying

00:06:44.800 --> 00:06:48.319
with all that they have to find a loophole in

00:06:48.319 --> 00:06:51.560
the biblical text to justify divorcing somebody

00:06:51.560 --> 00:06:54.899
they just don't want to be with anymore. And

00:06:54.899 --> 00:06:57.160
they will manipulate Jesus' teaching and they

00:06:57.160 --> 00:06:59.639
will twist Paul's words and they will claim that

00:06:59.639 --> 00:07:03.060
their spouse is the entire problem. They will

00:07:03.060 --> 00:07:07.019
do anything. to get what they want. It's a fleshly

00:07:07.019 --> 00:07:08.879
self -centeredness. And of course, where that

00:07:08.879 --> 00:07:11.319
usually leads to when the divorce happens is

00:07:11.319 --> 00:07:15.879
church discipline. It has to happen. It's necessary,

00:07:15.899 --> 00:07:18.879
but it's also painful for a church family to

00:07:18.879 --> 00:07:21.939
walk through. So all that to say, it's messy,

00:07:22.079 --> 00:07:24.860
isn't it? Now, here's why I tell you all that.

00:07:24.920 --> 00:07:27.139
Today's message isn't going to come close to

00:07:27.139 --> 00:07:30.000
answering every question about divorce. It can't

00:07:30.000 --> 00:07:33.220
possibly address every situation, every nuance.

00:07:33.519 --> 00:07:36.259
We just don't have time. And frankly, because

00:07:36.259 --> 00:07:39.259
of the unlimited number of unique circumstances,

00:07:39.480 --> 00:07:40.980
there's no way I could stand up here unless you

00:07:40.980 --> 00:07:43.879
wanted to spend all day together and just cover

00:07:43.879 --> 00:07:47.000
every possible situation. It just can't. All

00:07:47.000 --> 00:07:49.639
we can do today is examine the basic principles

00:07:49.639 --> 00:07:54.019
and settle our hearts on what God has shown us

00:07:54.019 --> 00:07:58.000
about this difficult subject. Make sense? Okay.

00:07:58.490 --> 00:08:00.790
Let's dive in. Again, before we get to the passage

00:08:00.790 --> 00:08:03.009
in 1 Corinthians, we're going to look at three

00:08:03.009 --> 00:08:05.610
other passages that give us additional information

00:08:05.610 --> 00:08:08.569
that we must have if we're going to understand

00:08:08.569 --> 00:08:11.670
the full picture of marriage and divorce. We're

00:08:11.670 --> 00:08:15.329
going to look at one passage in the Old Testament

00:08:15.329 --> 00:08:18.709
and then two passages in the Gospel. So here's

00:08:18.709 --> 00:08:19.810
the first one. I'm going to put these on the

00:08:19.810 --> 00:08:21.930
screen to make it easy for everybody. The first

00:08:21.930 --> 00:08:26.129
one comes from Malachi 2. So we're in the Old

00:08:26.129 --> 00:08:28.649
Testament. This is the prophet Malachi confronting

00:08:28.649 --> 00:08:32.330
the people of Judah. This is after the exile

00:08:32.330 --> 00:08:35.389
in Babylon. This is after the Jews have returned

00:08:35.389 --> 00:08:38.350
to the Holy Land. And this is after they've rebuilt

00:08:38.350 --> 00:08:41.929
the second temple. So he's confronting them with

00:08:41.929 --> 00:08:44.250
their sin. Here's what he says. Do we not all

00:08:44.250 --> 00:08:48.629
have one father? Has not one God created us?

00:08:49.450 --> 00:08:53.200
Why do we deal treacherously? each against his

00:08:53.200 --> 00:08:56.539
brother, so as to profane the covenant of our

00:08:56.539 --> 00:08:58.919
fathers. Do you get a sense that he's upset?

00:08:59.759 --> 00:09:04.120
He is. Judah has dealt treacherously, and an

00:09:04.120 --> 00:09:07.159
abomination has been committed in Israel and

00:09:07.159 --> 00:09:10.340
in Jerusalem. For Judah has profaned the sanctuary

00:09:10.340 --> 00:09:13.840
of the Lord, which he loves, and has done what?

00:09:14.620 --> 00:09:18.340
Married the daughter of a foreign. Now that phrase

00:09:18.340 --> 00:09:21.200
deal treacherously shows up throughout this passage.

00:09:21.399 --> 00:09:24.919
It's the Hebrew word bagad, which means dealing

00:09:24.919 --> 00:09:29.820
deceitfully or dealing unfaithfully with other

00:09:29.820 --> 00:09:32.139
people. And in this case, the men of Judah have

00:09:32.139 --> 00:09:34.580
dealt unfaithfully with Yahweh first and foremost,

00:09:34.700 --> 00:09:38.460
but also with one another by running after foreign

00:09:38.460 --> 00:09:42.200
women and marrying them. Even though these women

00:09:42.200 --> 00:09:46.000
are outside the covenant with God, they are unbelievers.

00:09:47.019 --> 00:09:49.480
They're chasing after unbelieving women. And

00:09:49.480 --> 00:09:51.340
then it gets worse in the verses that follow.

00:09:52.159 --> 00:09:55.500
It says, this is another thing you do. You cover

00:09:55.500 --> 00:09:58.360
the altar of the Lord with tears, with weeping

00:09:58.360 --> 00:10:01.419
and with groaning because he, the Lord, no longer

00:10:01.419 --> 00:10:04.080
regards your offering or accepts it with favor

00:10:04.080 --> 00:10:07.700
from your hand. Yet you say, for what reason?

00:10:09.440 --> 00:10:13.580
Really? You're going to ask why? Your question

00:10:13.580 --> 00:10:15.740
here is laughable. Your tears and your groaning

00:10:15.740 --> 00:10:18.940
are fake. How is it that you think, as men of

00:10:18.940 --> 00:10:22.559
Judah, that you can go do as you please, live

00:10:22.559 --> 00:10:26.220
out all your fleshly desires, marry foreign unbelievers,

00:10:26.460 --> 00:10:29.559
and then bring your offering to the altar and

00:10:29.559 --> 00:10:34.179
think that God is going to accept it? The outright

00:10:34.179 --> 00:10:36.519
arrogance and pride of this, right? The passage

00:10:36.519 --> 00:10:39.259
goes on. Why? Because the Lord has been a witness.

00:10:40.779 --> 00:10:42.440
Does any of us think that we can hide things

00:10:42.440 --> 00:10:46.309
from God when we come to the altar? The Lord

00:10:46.309 --> 00:10:48.909
has been a witness between you and the wife of

00:10:48.909 --> 00:10:53.389
your youth against whom you have dealt treacherously,

00:10:53.429 --> 00:10:56.269
though she's your companion and your wife by

00:10:56.269 --> 00:11:02.210
what? By covenant. So, he says, take heed. Take

00:11:02.210 --> 00:11:04.429
heed then to your spirit and let no one deal

00:11:04.429 --> 00:11:07.370
treacherously against the wife of your youth,

00:11:07.450 --> 00:11:11.850
for I hate divorce, says the Lord, the God of

00:11:11.850 --> 00:11:16.539
Israel, and he who covers. So this is how it

00:11:16.539 --> 00:11:18.639
gets worse. Not only are the men of Judah running

00:11:18.639 --> 00:11:22.059
after foreign, unbelieving women, they are abandoning

00:11:22.059 --> 00:11:26.159
and divorcing their Jewish wives to do so. So

00:11:26.159 --> 00:11:29.299
they've made it twice as bad. This is what we

00:11:29.299 --> 00:11:32.679
call covenant betrayal. You cannot claim to love

00:11:32.679 --> 00:11:34.940
God while acting deceitfully toward the spouse

00:11:34.940 --> 00:11:39.509
that he has joined you to. Those don't go together.

00:11:39.610 --> 00:11:41.330
And all the tears and the groaning in the world

00:11:41.330 --> 00:11:44.129
isn't going to change that. God hates the dissolving

00:11:44.129 --> 00:11:47.190
of a covenant marriage that he has established.

00:11:48.250 --> 00:11:50.590
And he hates it when his people try to conceal

00:11:50.590 --> 00:11:53.789
unfaithfulness beneath a respectable garment.

00:11:53.909 --> 00:11:56.610
That's what that last phrase means. You're trying

00:11:56.610 --> 00:12:00.490
to hide your deceitfulness under that respectable

00:12:00.490 --> 00:12:05.259
garment. I see it all, God says. So let's go

00:12:05.259 --> 00:12:07.000
now over to the Gospel of Matthew. We're going

00:12:07.000 --> 00:12:09.759
to go to the Sermon on the Mount in Matthew chapter

00:12:09.759 --> 00:12:12.919
5, and this is where Jesus raises the criteria

00:12:12.919 --> 00:12:17.059
for divorce as he speaks to his disciples and

00:12:17.059 --> 00:12:19.539
the Jewish people. It says this, it was said,

00:12:19.639 --> 00:12:23.340
whoever sends his wife away, let him give her

00:12:23.340 --> 00:12:28.039
a certificate of divorce. That's what Moses prescribed

00:12:28.039 --> 00:12:31.580
for the ancient Hebrews as a concession. because

00:12:31.580 --> 00:12:33.320
of the hardness of their hearts in the midst

00:12:33.320 --> 00:12:36.539
of this very patriarchal society where women

00:12:36.539 --> 00:12:40.379
were often disposed of quickly and easily. And

00:12:40.379 --> 00:12:42.259
so at a minimum, that certificate helped the

00:12:42.259 --> 00:12:44.320
divorced woman in the sense that it gave her

00:12:44.320 --> 00:12:47.440
legal standing as being released from the marital

00:12:47.440 --> 00:12:50.809
obligations. This was Moses' instruction. You

00:12:50.809 --> 00:12:53.169
can only imagine how in this type of society,

00:12:53.509 --> 00:12:56.710
how the men of Israel could just abuse the law

00:12:56.710 --> 00:12:59.610
regarding divorce. I'll just send her away if

00:12:59.610 --> 00:13:02.370
I'm just unhappy with her for any reason whatsoever.

00:13:03.230 --> 00:13:05.950
So in the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus raises the

00:13:05.950 --> 00:13:09.149
bar on the standard for divorce. And Jesus says

00:13:09.149 --> 00:13:12.309
this. He says, I say to you, Moses did that,

00:13:12.330 --> 00:13:15.250
but I say to you that everyone who divorces his

00:13:15.250 --> 00:13:19.850
wife except for the reason of Sexual immorality

00:13:19.850 --> 00:13:23.870
or sexual unfaithfulness, get this now, makes

00:13:23.870 --> 00:13:27.730
her commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced

00:13:27.730 --> 00:13:32.610
woman commits adultery. So Jesus is correcting

00:13:32.610 --> 00:13:37.350
a casual, superficial view of divorce. You can't

00:13:37.350 --> 00:13:40.309
just send your spouse away because you've come

00:13:40.309 --> 00:13:43.330
across a conflict or because you're unhappy now.

00:13:43.850 --> 00:13:46.490
Or because, well, you're disappointed. You thought

00:13:46.490 --> 00:13:48.350
it was going to go this way, but it's not happening.

00:13:48.649 --> 00:13:51.090
Or as we say in our culture today, because you

00:13:51.090 --> 00:13:54.590
have irreconcilable differences. Or because now

00:13:54.590 --> 00:13:57.730
you're more attracted to somebody else. It's

00:13:57.730 --> 00:14:02.230
not going to work. Jesus gives us one, one concession

00:14:02.230 --> 00:14:06.210
for divorce. That's it. Sexual unfaithfulness.

00:14:07.179 --> 00:14:10.000
And then he drops that consequence of disregarding

00:14:10.000 --> 00:14:13.539
his teaching. He says, if you do not have a legitimate

00:14:13.539 --> 00:14:16.940
biblical basis to divorce your spouse based on

00:14:16.940 --> 00:14:19.860
that one concession, then your marriage covenant

00:14:19.860 --> 00:14:24.620
is still in effect. That covenant that God established

00:14:24.620 --> 00:14:27.200
is still in effect, which means if you now run

00:14:27.200 --> 00:14:29.639
out and marry somebody else, you are committing

00:14:29.639 --> 00:14:33.460
adultery in God's eyes. And you cause that new

00:14:33.460 --> 00:14:35.899
person you marry to commit adultery as well.

00:14:37.519 --> 00:14:41.539
So the consequences are severe. One more passage.

00:14:41.580 --> 00:14:44.320
We're going to go over to Matthew 19. And here

00:14:44.320 --> 00:14:47.200
Jesus is questioned by the Pharisees on the subject

00:14:47.200 --> 00:14:50.059
of divorce. They're seeking to trap him in his

00:14:50.059 --> 00:14:53.440
own words. It says some Pharisees came to Jesus

00:14:53.440 --> 00:14:56.539
testing him and asking, is it lawful for a man

00:14:56.539 --> 00:15:01.500
to divorce his wife for any reason at all? Now,

00:15:01.559 --> 00:15:04.929
historically. You can see here the Jews in Jesus'

00:15:05.129 --> 00:15:08.710
day were still taking divorce lightly. The men

00:15:08.710 --> 00:15:10.690
in that culture saw it as their right to claim.

00:15:11.330 --> 00:15:13.370
The only difference between liberal and conservative

00:15:13.370 --> 00:15:16.470
wings of Judaism was the standard for divorce.

00:15:16.590 --> 00:15:18.909
The more liberal wing said, look, a man can do

00:15:18.909 --> 00:15:20.669
as he pleases. He can get rid of his wife for

00:15:20.669 --> 00:15:23.029
any reason. The more conservative wing was saying,

00:15:23.110 --> 00:15:25.320
ah, let's slow down a bit on that. we should

00:15:25.320 --> 00:15:27.559
make it a little bit more difficult than just

00:15:27.559 --> 00:15:30.100
any reason whatsoever. So this is being debated

00:15:30.100 --> 00:15:33.919
in the culture of Judaism in Jesus' day. What

00:15:33.919 --> 00:15:36.720
does Jesus say? He says, and he answered them

00:15:36.720 --> 00:15:40.080
and said, have you not read, which is a great

00:15:40.080 --> 00:15:42.240
challenge. You guys are the teachers of Israel.

00:15:42.320 --> 00:15:45.299
Haven't you read this? Have you not read that

00:15:45.299 --> 00:15:47.720
he who created them from the beginning made them

00:15:47.720 --> 00:15:50.639
male and female and said, it's like, I have to

00:15:50.639 --> 00:15:52.820
take you back to Sunday school class here, right?

00:15:53.019 --> 00:15:55.899
You remember this story? He says, for this reason,

00:15:55.919 --> 00:15:57.620
a man shall leave his father and mother and be

00:15:57.620 --> 00:15:59.379
joined to his wife, and the two shall become

00:15:59.379 --> 00:16:01.940
one flesh. So they're no longer two, but one

00:16:01.940 --> 00:16:05.779
flesh. Here it comes. What therefore, what God

00:16:05.779 --> 00:16:10.799
has joined together, let no man separate. Mic

00:16:10.799 --> 00:16:15.019
drop, right? Jesus is not going to let his opponents

00:16:15.019 --> 00:16:17.860
control the agenda. Rather than give them ammunition

00:16:17.860 --> 00:16:20.120
to try to trap him, he takes them back to Sunday

00:16:20.120 --> 00:16:23.090
school, takes them back to the garden. And he

00:16:23.090 --> 00:16:26.029
puts before these deceitful men God's original

00:16:26.029 --> 00:16:29.970
design for marriage. And he establishes the core

00:16:29.970 --> 00:16:33.929
principle. What God has put together, no man

00:16:33.929 --> 00:16:37.289
should separate. That's the core principle, okay?

00:16:37.690 --> 00:16:39.830
Now, the Pharisees aren't done trying to mess

00:16:39.830 --> 00:16:41.970
with him, right? So now what they try to do next

00:16:41.970 --> 00:16:45.090
is pit him against Moses. It says this, they

00:16:45.090 --> 00:16:48.559
said to him, Why then did Moses command to give

00:16:48.559 --> 00:16:50.799
her a certificate of divorce and send her away?

00:16:51.039 --> 00:16:54.480
Hey, are you contradicting the law? Are you contradicting

00:16:54.480 --> 00:16:58.480
Moses? And then Jesus lays before the Pharisees,

00:16:58.480 --> 00:17:01.360
the teachers of Israel, the same standard that

00:17:01.360 --> 00:17:03.600
he just gave to the crowds on the Sermon on the

00:17:03.600 --> 00:17:06.400
Mount. He said to them, because of your hardness

00:17:06.400 --> 00:17:11.079
of heart, Moses permitted. permitted you to divorce

00:17:11.079 --> 00:17:13.539
your wives, but from the beginning, it has not

00:17:13.539 --> 00:17:17.220
been this way. This is not God's design, he says.

00:17:17.460 --> 00:17:21.480
And I say to you, I say to you, teachers of the

00:17:21.480 --> 00:17:24.619
law, whoever divorces his wife except for sexual

00:17:24.619 --> 00:17:28.079
immorality and marries another woman, he commits

00:17:28.079 --> 00:17:34.690
adultery. Okay. That's the backdrop. You have

00:17:34.690 --> 00:17:36.890
to know those things before we go to our passage

00:17:36.890 --> 00:17:39.309
for today. So open your Bibles. Let's go to 1

00:17:39.309 --> 00:17:44.670
Corinthians 7. That was the introduction. So

00:17:44.670 --> 00:17:46.069
as I said, this is going to be a long sermon.

00:17:46.170 --> 00:17:50.589
Settle in. Settle in. This is honestly one of

00:17:50.589 --> 00:17:52.809
the most difficult and precise messages I've

00:17:52.809 --> 00:17:55.190
had to write in years. So we want to take this

00:17:55.190 --> 00:17:56.910
slowly and carefully. I'm going to try not to

00:17:56.910 --> 00:17:59.869
rush through it, even though we're on the clock.

00:18:01.289 --> 00:18:03.349
Remember last time we were in this chapter, which

00:18:03.349 --> 00:18:05.369
was three Sundays ago, we looked at verses one

00:18:05.369 --> 00:18:08.210
through seven in this chapter, right? And this

00:18:08.210 --> 00:18:10.309
is where Paul begins to respond to a series of

00:18:10.309 --> 00:18:12.630
questions that he's received from members of

00:18:12.630 --> 00:18:15.329
the church in Corinth, okay? Paul's at Ephesus

00:18:15.329 --> 00:18:18.410
across the Aegean Sea and he gets this notification.

00:18:18.670 --> 00:18:21.670
Hey, Paul, you're our apostle. We have questions.

00:18:22.069 --> 00:18:25.630
Please address these things, right? So questions

00:18:25.630 --> 00:18:29.049
about marriage and celibacy and divorce come

00:18:29.049 --> 00:18:32.799
up first. And there seems to be this weird movement

00:18:32.799 --> 00:18:35.180
in the Corinthian church about moving towards

00:18:35.180 --> 00:18:39.279
celibacy and divorce, right? And so Paul begins

00:18:39.279 --> 00:18:41.759
to touch on singleness as well. Let's go back

00:18:41.759 --> 00:18:43.960
up to verse 1. We'll quickly review those verses,

00:18:44.099 --> 00:18:47.099
and then we'll read verses 8 to 16 from there.

00:18:47.200 --> 00:18:49.440
Verse 1 says this. Now, concerning the things

00:18:49.440 --> 00:18:52.119
about which you wrote. Okay, so that's a transition

00:18:52.119 --> 00:18:54.819
phrase in the letter. Paul's saying, I'm now

00:18:54.819 --> 00:18:57.119
turning my attention to those questions that

00:18:57.119 --> 00:18:59.940
you've asked me. And what comes next is a statement

00:18:59.940 --> 00:19:02.880
from the person who is requesting Paul's advice.

00:19:03.279 --> 00:19:06.680
Quote, it is good for a man not to touch a woman.

00:19:07.880 --> 00:19:10.740
That's the statement. Some translations say it

00:19:10.740 --> 00:19:13.420
is good for a man not to have sexual relations

00:19:13.420 --> 00:19:16.799
with a woman. Paul responds then beginning in

00:19:16.799 --> 00:19:19.880
verse 2. He says, but because of immoralities,

00:19:19.960 --> 00:19:24.960
that is porneia, sexual immoralities, each man

00:19:24.960 --> 00:19:27.779
is to have his own wife. And each woman is to

00:19:27.779 --> 00:19:30.519
have her own husband. And the husband must fulfill

00:19:30.519 --> 00:19:33.460
his duty to his wife, and likewise also the wife

00:19:33.460 --> 00:19:36.200
to her husband. The wife does not have authority

00:19:36.200 --> 00:19:38.880
over her own body, but the husband does. And

00:19:38.880 --> 00:19:41.319
likewise, the husband does not have authority

00:19:41.319 --> 00:19:44.380
over his own body, but the wife does. Notice

00:19:44.380 --> 00:19:47.819
the mutual responsibilities equal both husband

00:19:47.819 --> 00:19:50.839
and wife. This is important for later. And we

00:19:50.839 --> 00:19:54.630
saw last time how these principles here that

00:19:54.630 --> 00:19:56.630
are established in a covenant marriage relationship

00:19:56.630 --> 00:20:00.150
are a protective measure against either partner

00:20:00.150 --> 00:20:02.990
falling into sexual sin. God says, look, take

00:20:02.990 --> 00:20:05.529
a husband, take a wife. You now have an outlet

00:20:05.529 --> 00:20:09.900
for your sexual desires. Verse five. So stop

00:20:09.900 --> 00:20:13.079
depriving one another, Paul says, except by agreement

00:20:13.079 --> 00:20:15.400
for a time so that you may devote yourselves

00:20:15.400 --> 00:20:19.259
to prayer and come together again so that Satan

00:20:19.259 --> 00:20:21.380
will not tempt you because of your lack of self

00:20:21.380 --> 00:20:24.019
-control. But this I say by way of concession,

00:20:24.039 --> 00:20:27.599
not of command. Verse seven, yet I wish that

00:20:27.599 --> 00:20:31.920
all men were even as I myself am, meaning unmarried.

00:20:32.339 --> 00:20:34.960
We'll get to that in a second. However, each

00:20:34.960 --> 00:20:38.019
man has his own gift from God. one in this manner

00:20:38.019 --> 00:20:41.740
and another in that. Okay, now where's Paul heading

00:20:41.740 --> 00:20:44.160
next? Where does he go beginning in verse 8?

00:20:44.220 --> 00:20:47.460
Well, he's going to address three unique groups

00:20:47.460 --> 00:20:51.160
of people in the church of Corinth. By the way,

00:20:51.180 --> 00:20:54.279
groups that still exist in the church in America

00:20:54.279 --> 00:20:56.640
today. So we have a lot to learn here. We're

00:20:56.640 --> 00:20:58.759
going to walk through each one of them one at

00:20:58.759 --> 00:21:01.400
a time. The first group that he talks to are

00:21:01.400 --> 00:21:06.500
the unmarried. Verse 8, he identifies them right

00:21:06.500 --> 00:21:09.680
out of the gate. But I say to the unmarried and

00:21:09.680 --> 00:21:14.180
to widows that it is good for them if they remain

00:21:14.180 --> 00:21:18.279
even as I. Meaning it's a good thing if they

00:21:18.279 --> 00:21:22.539
stay unmarried, just like Paul was. So he's speaking

00:21:22.539 --> 00:21:25.480
to several types of believers here, to all those

00:21:25.480 --> 00:21:27.940
who are living at that time who are not bound

00:21:27.940 --> 00:21:32.500
by an active marriage covenant. to those in the

00:21:32.500 --> 00:21:35.059
church who had never been married, to those who

00:21:35.059 --> 00:21:37.920
had been married but were now widowed, and to

00:21:37.920 --> 00:21:41.000
those who also had been married but were now

00:21:41.000 --> 00:21:44.119
divorced. None of them are under a marriage covenant.

00:21:44.299 --> 00:21:47.160
For those types of believers, Paul says, it is

00:21:47.160 --> 00:21:50.259
good to remain as you are, to stay unmarried.

00:21:50.440 --> 00:21:51.960
By the way, he's going to give us a couple of

00:21:51.960 --> 00:21:54.240
reasons for that later in the chapter. We'll

00:21:54.240 --> 00:21:57.640
get to that in subsequent sermons. For now, we

00:21:57.640 --> 00:22:00.019
should recognize the principle here that being

00:22:00.019 --> 00:22:02.990
unmarried is not something to be looked down

00:22:02.990 --> 00:22:06.849
upon. Being single or unmarried is not to be

00:22:06.849 --> 00:22:09.529
looked down upon, despite what today's church

00:22:09.529 --> 00:22:15.230
culture tends to believe. Most people, and a

00:22:15.230 --> 00:22:17.069
little bit of this comes from the TMU culture,

00:22:17.269 --> 00:22:20.829
can we be honest, from the bubble, right? Most

00:22:20.829 --> 00:22:24.029
people in the church today assume that every

00:22:24.029 --> 00:22:27.049
believer should be out there desperately searching

00:22:27.049 --> 00:22:31.009
for a spouse and to do it right away. as soon

00:22:31.009 --> 00:22:34.170
as possible. But that is not Paul's perspective.

00:22:35.309 --> 00:22:38.849
He sees singleness as good. And he sees marriage

00:22:38.849 --> 00:22:42.009
as good too, right? Both of them have advantages.

00:22:42.509 --> 00:22:45.069
Both of them have disadvantages. And neither

00:22:45.069 --> 00:22:47.349
being married or being unmarried is more spiritual

00:22:47.349 --> 00:22:50.230
than the other. Both can be spiritually beneficial.

00:22:50.730 --> 00:22:53.130
What does it come down to? How God has gifted

00:22:53.130 --> 00:22:55.630
you and the role that he has assigned you in

00:22:55.630 --> 00:22:58.180
the body. Okay, so make sure you have a balanced

00:22:58.180 --> 00:23:00.619
perspective on this. But look at verse nine again.

00:23:00.880 --> 00:23:04.759
But Paul says, if the unmarried do not have self

00:23:04.759 --> 00:23:08.579
-control, and a better way to read that is, if

00:23:08.579 --> 00:23:12.200
the unmarried cannot exercise self -control,

00:23:12.400 --> 00:23:16.980
let them marry. Let them get married. He says,

00:23:16.980 --> 00:23:19.839
for it's better to marry than to burn. And by

00:23:19.839 --> 00:23:21.380
the way, that's where the Greek text actually

00:23:21.380 --> 00:23:24.410
ends. with the word burn, but most translations

00:23:24.410 --> 00:23:27.450
add a phrase just to clarify. It's better to

00:23:27.450 --> 00:23:30.650
marry than to burn with passion or burn with

00:23:30.650 --> 00:23:34.049
desire. Now, there's a whole bunch of things

00:23:34.049 --> 00:23:37.670
we need to unpack here. First, again, being unmarried

00:23:37.670 --> 00:23:40.569
and celibate is good, but it's also commendable

00:23:40.569 --> 00:23:44.009
for a Christian to recognize his or her gifting,

00:23:44.130 --> 00:23:47.430
his or her limitations, and get married if necessary.

00:23:48.329 --> 00:23:50.490
Right? This is self -knowledge. This is understanding

00:23:50.490 --> 00:23:52.750
our bodies and our hearts and our minds and saying,

00:23:52.849 --> 00:23:55.170
look, I need to be married. Based on who I am,

00:23:55.230 --> 00:23:57.950
I should be married. And then to have that marriage

00:23:57.950 --> 00:24:00.789
serve as a godly protection against falling into

00:24:00.789 --> 00:24:03.690
sexual sin. Because in God's eyes, it is certainly

00:24:03.690 --> 00:24:07.029
better to marry and be sexually pure in that

00:24:07.029 --> 00:24:09.769
marriage than to remain single and fall into

00:24:09.769 --> 00:24:14.230
sin. Does that make sense? Now, we have to look

00:24:14.230 --> 00:24:16.529
at this word burn for just a moment. Because

00:24:16.529 --> 00:24:19.420
I can't tell you As somebody who counsels a lot

00:24:19.420 --> 00:24:22.640
of young couples and does pre -engagement and

00:24:22.640 --> 00:24:25.200
pre -marital counseling, how many times this

00:24:25.200 --> 00:24:28.740
verse gets quoted to me as a justification to

00:24:28.740 --> 00:24:32.619
race toward the marriage ceremony? I got to get

00:24:32.619 --> 00:24:34.759
to the altar because I am burning up inside.

00:24:35.859 --> 00:24:38.539
I kid you not. And sometimes I say it without

00:24:38.539 --> 00:24:40.680
really understanding what's being communicated

00:24:40.680 --> 00:24:43.099
here. Now I'm going to reach back into church

00:24:43.099 --> 00:24:45.039
history and tell you what John Calvin said about

00:24:45.039 --> 00:24:48.650
this. Much smarter guy than me. Calvin said this.

00:24:48.650 --> 00:24:51.089
He said, it's one thing to burn and another to

00:24:51.089 --> 00:24:58.710
feel heat. Let that sink in. And when he says

00:24:58.710 --> 00:25:02.410
heat, here's what he means. The ordinary stirrings

00:25:02.410 --> 00:25:04.769
of sexual desire that nearly all of us have,

00:25:04.970 --> 00:25:07.930
which we shouldn't be ashamed of. That's part

00:25:07.930 --> 00:25:10.130
of how God wired us, how he designed us, right?

00:25:10.839 --> 00:25:13.480
So when you're attracted to somebody physically

00:25:13.480 --> 00:25:15.940
and emotionally, and you feel the desire to get

00:25:15.940 --> 00:25:18.859
married and to experience the oneness of sexual

00:25:18.859 --> 00:25:21.980
expression with that one person, that is normal

00:25:21.980 --> 00:25:27.220
heat. That is normal heat. In contrast, when

00:25:27.220 --> 00:25:28.859
Paul says burn, he's talking about something

00:25:28.859 --> 00:25:32.259
far stronger. He's talking about boiling over

00:25:32.259 --> 00:25:35.720
with lust to the point where a person is so powerfully

00:25:35.720 --> 00:25:39.160
driven that he or she cannot possibly maintain

00:25:39.160 --> 00:25:42.579
purity. When they find the temptation to sexual

00:25:42.579 --> 00:25:46.039
sin is completely disruptive to having a clear

00:25:46.039 --> 00:25:49.259
conscience and a godly walk with Christ. That's

00:25:49.259 --> 00:25:51.619
what he's referring to here. So being able to

00:25:51.619 --> 00:25:55.119
discern heat from burning is important. And what

00:25:55.119 --> 00:25:57.599
we don't want to do as Christians who are filled

00:25:57.599 --> 00:26:00.220
and guided by the Holy Spirit is just to throw

00:26:00.220 --> 00:26:02.140
up our hands and say, wow, I'm just powerless

00:26:02.140 --> 00:26:05.599
in this. That is not a biblical concept. Oh,

00:26:05.640 --> 00:26:07.759
I'm just powerless, right? And therefore, I have

00:26:07.759 --> 00:26:10.059
to get raced to the altar and get married as

00:26:10.059 --> 00:26:12.980
soon as possible. Friends, self -control is a

00:26:12.980 --> 00:26:17.119
fruit of the Spirit's work in our lives. So rather

00:26:17.119 --> 00:26:20.000
than just saying I'm powerless, better to take

00:26:20.000 --> 00:26:22.700
the posture of, well, look, in this season where

00:26:22.700 --> 00:26:25.599
I'm feeling that heat, I will focus on walking

00:26:25.599 --> 00:26:28.420
by the Spirit so I don't carry out the desires

00:26:28.420 --> 00:26:32.240
of the flesh. And I will pray to that end. And

00:26:32.240 --> 00:26:34.660
I will ask for accountability to that end. And

00:26:34.660 --> 00:26:37.319
I will exercise self -control. Because look,

00:26:37.420 --> 00:26:39.740
remaining unmarried and celibate is not easy.

00:26:39.900 --> 00:26:41.960
I don't want to give the impression to you that

00:26:41.960 --> 00:26:44.960
I think that this is an easy thing. But please

00:26:44.960 --> 00:26:48.440
know this as well. Marriage is not a therapeutic

00:26:48.440 --> 00:26:50.980
escape from every temptation that's out there.

00:26:52.420 --> 00:26:56.000
It's not. Marriage involves some hard things.

00:26:56.200 --> 00:26:59.839
Covenant vows, sacrificial love, all kinds of

00:26:59.839 --> 00:27:03.200
responsibilities. Lots of time and energy. And

00:27:03.200 --> 00:27:06.599
yes, you ready for this? Marriage requires continued

00:27:06.599 --> 00:27:09.859
self -control in the area of sexual passions.

00:27:12.579 --> 00:27:15.759
Marriage doesn't solve all your problems. Racing

00:27:15.759 --> 00:27:18.200
to the altar and just getting married is not

00:27:18.200 --> 00:27:20.740
going to magically fix your disordered passions.

00:27:21.740 --> 00:27:25.539
And so even in marriage, we have to not trust

00:27:25.539 --> 00:27:27.680
that things are magically going to go away, but

00:27:27.680 --> 00:27:31.380
we continue to exercise. Self -control. So Christians

00:27:31.380 --> 00:27:34.339
shouldn't use this verse to justify rushing into

00:27:34.339 --> 00:27:37.599
marriage without lots of consideration. Just

00:27:37.599 --> 00:27:39.579
because he or she is struggling with self -control,

00:27:39.740 --> 00:27:42.680
carefully weigh the benefits and the liabilities

00:27:42.680 --> 00:27:45.279
of getting married. Be certain that you're saying

00:27:45.279 --> 00:27:48.460
yes to a godly mate. Make sure that before you

00:27:48.460 --> 00:27:51.809
say, I do. That you can say with genuine conviction

00:27:51.809 --> 00:27:54.369
that getting married to this person is going

00:27:54.369 --> 00:27:57.289
to enhance your love for Christ, enhance your

00:27:57.289 --> 00:28:00.049
service for the kingdom, rather than constrain

00:28:00.049 --> 00:28:03.869
it. There's a lot to be considered before we

00:28:03.869 --> 00:28:06.349
race to the altar because I'm feeling like I'm

00:28:06.349 --> 00:28:13.609
burning. Ooh, it got quiet. Now, what about those

00:28:13.609 --> 00:28:16.980
who realize I don't think I have the gift of

00:28:16.980 --> 00:28:19.299
singleness, but I still can't find a suitable

00:28:19.299 --> 00:28:22.319
spouse out there. This is hard, right? That's

00:28:22.319 --> 00:28:24.680
a difficult situation that is frustrating, that

00:28:24.680 --> 00:28:27.680
can be lonely. And this is probably a whole other

00:28:27.680 --> 00:28:31.799
sermon, but I will simply share some advice that

00:28:31.799 --> 00:28:34.279
I heard Dr. MacArthur share many, many years

00:28:34.279 --> 00:28:36.240
ago. He said something to the effect of this.

00:28:36.700 --> 00:28:38.799
Men, instead of looking for the right woman,

00:28:38.980 --> 00:28:43.839
you start being the right man. Ladies, instead

00:28:43.839 --> 00:28:46.220
of looking for the right man, Start being the

00:28:46.220 --> 00:28:48.319
right woman. And in God's timing, the right man

00:28:48.319 --> 00:28:50.220
and the right woman will recognize each other.

00:28:51.539 --> 00:28:55.240
It's simple, right? But it's profound. In your

00:28:55.240 --> 00:28:58.240
season of singleness, focus on your faithfulness

00:28:58.240 --> 00:29:01.160
as a Christ follower. Put your energy into spiritual

00:29:01.160 --> 00:29:03.559
growth and maturity, and then trust that God

00:29:03.559 --> 00:29:08.839
has you. Don't make marriage the goal. Don't

00:29:08.839 --> 00:29:10.900
make marriage the goal. Seek to love others in

00:29:10.900 --> 00:29:12.740
the ways that God has designed you and gifted

00:29:12.740 --> 00:29:16.700
you and let marriage, if it's God's will, take

00:29:16.700 --> 00:29:23.380
care of itself. Amen? Okay, that was Paul's instruction

00:29:23.380 --> 00:29:25.480
to group number one. Now let's look at the second

00:29:25.480 --> 00:29:29.140
group. The second group he addresses, two married

00:29:29.140 --> 00:29:33.480
believers. Look at verse 10. But to the married

00:29:33.480 --> 00:29:38.319
I give instructions, not I but the Lord. Now

00:29:38.319 --> 00:29:40.259
stop there for a moment. What is Paul saying

00:29:40.259 --> 00:29:43.819
here about the source of his instruction? Very

00:29:43.819 --> 00:29:46.220
simply, he's saying, look, I'm passing along

00:29:46.220 --> 00:29:48.759
a command that has come straight from Jesus.

00:29:48.859 --> 00:29:51.680
He talked about this while he was on the earth.

00:29:51.839 --> 00:29:54.200
I'm just repeating what he said. And we already

00:29:54.200 --> 00:29:57.240
looked at it. Matthew 5, Matthew 19. It's exactly

00:29:57.240 --> 00:29:59.460
what he's going to say now in 1 Corinthians 7,

00:29:59.579 --> 00:30:02.549
right? And as we look at verses 10 and 11, what

00:30:02.549 --> 00:30:04.970
I want to do is separate the clauses here to

00:30:04.970 --> 00:30:07.670
help us see what Paul is saying. Continuing in

00:30:07.670 --> 00:30:11.250
verse 10, he says, I give instructions that the

00:30:11.250 --> 00:30:14.069
wife should not leave her husband. Pause now.

00:30:14.369 --> 00:30:17.309
Take out the next clause, which in the NAS and

00:30:17.309 --> 00:30:20.130
the ESV is in parentheses, and then keep going.

00:30:20.490 --> 00:30:22.930
And that the husband should not divorce his wife.

00:30:23.089 --> 00:30:26.430
Here's what that looks like. See the two things?

00:30:26.950 --> 00:30:28.990
The wife should not leave her husband. The husband

00:30:28.990 --> 00:30:32.000
should not divorce his wife. Done. Simple, right?

00:30:32.519 --> 00:30:35.279
Straightforward command. This is exactly what

00:30:35.279 --> 00:30:37.799
Jesus said in the Gospels, right? What God has

00:30:37.799 --> 00:30:40.279
joined together, man should not separate. Don't

00:30:40.279 --> 00:30:42.460
do it. And by the way, if any of you out there

00:30:42.460 --> 00:30:44.859
in Corinth run the impression that being single

00:30:44.859 --> 00:30:47.099
and celibate puts you on a higher spiritual plane

00:30:47.099 --> 00:30:49.980
and therefore I'm just going to divorce my Christian

00:30:49.980 --> 00:30:52.240
spouse, Paul's like, no, no, no, no, no, no.

00:30:52.779 --> 00:30:56.220
No, no, no. Do not do it. Do not divorce your

00:30:56.220 --> 00:30:59.730
spouse. No Christian couple. should go into marriage

00:30:59.730 --> 00:31:04.410
with that possibility in mind. Even in the heat

00:31:04.410 --> 00:31:08.049
of conflict, we never drop the D word as a threat

00:31:08.049 --> 00:31:10.710
to our spouse. You don't walk into marriage with

00:31:10.710 --> 00:31:13.049
that possibility. You don't drop the D word in

00:31:13.049 --> 00:31:16.589
the midst of a fight. Do not divorce one another.

00:31:16.750 --> 00:31:19.190
We're to do everything possible to keep that

00:31:19.190 --> 00:31:22.549
marriage healthy, vibrant, and on track towards

00:31:22.549 --> 00:31:25.890
glorifying God in every way. And when we run

00:31:25.890 --> 00:31:28.559
into bumps along the way, which happens to every

00:31:28.559 --> 00:31:32.759
single couple, me included. When we run into

00:31:32.759 --> 00:31:36.400
bumps, we employ biblical principles, and if

00:31:36.400 --> 00:31:39.400
necessary, we bring in wise counsel, and we work

00:31:39.400 --> 00:31:42.200
through that conflict, and we fight for resolution

00:31:42.200 --> 00:31:45.680
and reconciliation. We don't drop the D word

00:31:45.680 --> 00:31:49.140
and move in that direction. By the way, some

00:31:49.140 --> 00:31:51.039
interpreters, in my opinion, make a mistake here

00:31:51.039 --> 00:31:52.900
when they say that Paul is talking about two

00:31:52.900 --> 00:31:55.200
different things, when he says the wife leaving

00:31:55.200 --> 00:31:58.140
and the husband divorcing. Yes, it's true that

00:31:58.140 --> 00:32:01.000
Paul does use two different verbs here, but the

00:32:01.000 --> 00:32:04.519
verb charizo, the verb for leave, it can be translated

00:32:04.519 --> 00:32:09.160
as divide, separate, or divorce. And the verb

00:32:09.160 --> 00:32:11.559
for divorce here technically means to send away.

00:32:11.779 --> 00:32:14.319
So although he's using two different words, Paul

00:32:14.319 --> 00:32:17.200
is continuing to lay out in this chapter mutual

00:32:17.200 --> 00:32:20.099
obligations for both husband and wife. What I

00:32:20.099 --> 00:32:22.460
command to the man, I command to the woman, and

00:32:22.460 --> 00:32:25.359
vice versa. Do not divorce, do not divorce. Make

00:32:25.359 --> 00:32:28.910
sense? Wives do not divorce your husbands. Husbands

00:32:28.910 --> 00:32:31.769
do not divorce your wives. Again, that is the

00:32:31.769 --> 00:32:34.690
core rule that Jesus laid down in his teaching

00:32:34.690 --> 00:32:37.109
while he was on the earth. Make sense? You with

00:32:37.109 --> 00:32:41.509
me? Now, obvious note, obvious note, Paul doesn't

00:32:41.509 --> 00:32:45.170
include the concession that Jesus gave for adultery

00:32:45.170 --> 00:32:48.190
here, for sexual unfaithfulness. And I think

00:32:48.190 --> 00:32:50.089
I can guess why. This is a little bit of speculation.

00:32:50.950 --> 00:32:54.450
But considering how fleshly the Corinthians were,

00:32:54.569 --> 00:32:57.519
his audience, and how rampant divorce was in

00:32:57.519 --> 00:33:00.019
that culture, I think what he wants to do here

00:33:00.019 --> 00:33:02.660
is I'm going to stay focused on the rule and

00:33:02.660 --> 00:33:05.099
not go to the concession. Because I don't want

00:33:05.099 --> 00:33:07.140
to open that door to these guys. They're already

00:33:07.140 --> 00:33:09.819
messed up enough. So he's going to stick to that

00:33:09.819 --> 00:33:12.240
rule. And you can almost, if he had laid down

00:33:12.240 --> 00:33:14.460
the concession, you can almost picture the Corinthian

00:33:14.460 --> 00:33:16.759
men going, oh, okay, so there's a loophole, is

00:33:16.759 --> 00:33:20.059
there? And Paul's not willing to do that right

00:33:20.059 --> 00:33:22.839
now. He's trying to fix the mess in this city.

00:33:23.720 --> 00:33:25.880
Now let's come back to the clause that's in parentheses

00:33:25.880 --> 00:33:30.559
in verse 11. But if she does leave, again referring

00:33:30.559 --> 00:33:34.019
to divorce, she must remain unmarried or else

00:33:34.019 --> 00:33:36.720
be reconciled to her husband. Here's the question

00:33:36.720 --> 00:33:39.019
that gets raised. If Paul is strictly saying

00:33:39.019 --> 00:33:42.140
do not divorce, why does he then leave this possibility

00:33:42.140 --> 00:33:46.500
open to disobey? And I think the answer is historical.

00:33:47.339 --> 00:33:49.900
For one reason or another, some believers in

00:33:49.900 --> 00:33:51.880
the Corinthian church had already done this.

00:33:52.380 --> 00:33:54.599
They'd already sent their spouse away, already

00:33:54.599 --> 00:33:57.380
divorced them before they got this letter from

00:33:57.380 --> 00:33:59.440
Paul. And so Paul's now looking at the situation

00:33:59.440 --> 00:34:02.400
and saying, okay, what next? How do I instruct

00:34:02.400 --> 00:34:04.380
these people now that they've made this big mistake?

00:34:07.000 --> 00:34:09.420
If either Christian spouse has divided the marriage

00:34:09.420 --> 00:34:11.800
and broken the marriage covenant, Paul says,

00:34:11.900 --> 00:34:14.440
look, you've only got two options now. Here's

00:34:14.440 --> 00:34:16.559
what comes next. You've got two options. Number

00:34:16.559 --> 00:34:19.800
one, remain unmarried for the rest of your life.

00:34:21.280 --> 00:34:23.920
Or go back and be reconciled to your spouse and

00:34:23.920 --> 00:34:26.780
start over again. That's it. There's no third

00:34:26.780 --> 00:34:30.539
option. There's no, well, I'll find somebody

00:34:30.539 --> 00:34:35.239
else. No. No, no, no, no, right? Your covenant,

00:34:35.440 --> 00:34:38.159
marriage covenant, is still in effect. You had

00:34:38.159 --> 00:34:40.280
no legitimate grounds for breaking that marriage

00:34:40.280 --> 00:34:42.840
union, so God says, no, that covenant that I

00:34:42.840 --> 00:34:46.400
affirmed is in effect. I haven't recognized that

00:34:46.400 --> 00:34:49.300
divorce. So you're not free to remarry somebody.

00:34:51.299 --> 00:34:53.360
And if you disregard this principle and say,

00:34:53.440 --> 00:34:55.980
well, and man, how many times have I heard this?

00:34:56.079 --> 00:34:58.780
Well, you can't tell me I actually have to be

00:34:58.780 --> 00:35:02.300
alone for the rest of my life. And if you go

00:35:02.300 --> 00:35:04.679
out there and disobey because, well, you just

00:35:04.679 --> 00:35:07.960
don't think you can survive alone, if you disobey,

00:35:08.039 --> 00:35:12.820
you become an adulterer in God's eyes. And that

00:35:12.820 --> 00:35:15.159
person you marry, you make them an adulterer

00:35:15.159 --> 00:35:19.539
because your marriage covenant is still in effect.

00:35:20.440 --> 00:35:22.460
And the divorce is not recognized. The state

00:35:22.460 --> 00:35:26.000
might recognize it, but God hasn't. And guys,

00:35:26.039 --> 00:35:27.980
this should be sobering for those of us in the

00:35:27.980 --> 00:35:29.980
church today, right? This is a sobering thing.

00:35:30.539 --> 00:35:32.760
Lest any of us think, well, you know, I can get

00:35:32.760 --> 00:35:35.539
married and there's always an easy way out. Not

00:35:35.539 --> 00:35:38.840
in God's way of seeing things. Not if you profess

00:35:38.840 --> 00:35:41.739
to be a Christ follower, no. There is no easy

00:35:41.739 --> 00:35:45.039
way out. God's not going to endorse your divorce

00:35:45.039 --> 00:35:47.400
because, well, I just don't want to be married

00:35:47.400 --> 00:35:48.619
to this person anymore. He's not going to look

00:35:48.619 --> 00:35:52.739
the other way. He's a witness. He's a witness

00:35:52.739 --> 00:35:56.940
to you and the wife of your youth. So be wise

00:35:56.940 --> 00:36:00.860
and be slow in choosing a spouse. It is a permanent

00:36:00.860 --> 00:36:06.199
covenant designed to last a lifetime. All right?

00:36:07.179 --> 00:36:11.079
Third group's in sight now. Verse 12. Third group.

00:36:12.880 --> 00:36:16.059
Verse 12. But to the rest I say, not the Lord.

00:36:17.059 --> 00:36:20.849
Okay, got to pause again. It's hard to overstate

00:36:20.849 --> 00:36:23.369
how much confusion that little statement has

00:36:23.369 --> 00:36:25.690
made over the centuries. And it shouldn't be

00:36:25.690 --> 00:36:27.730
confusing because it's actually not that difficult

00:36:27.730 --> 00:36:31.789
to understand. It comes in light of what Paul

00:36:31.789 --> 00:36:34.050
wrote just two verses earlier. Remember what

00:36:34.050 --> 00:36:36.710
he said? I give you instructions, not I but the

00:36:36.710 --> 00:36:40.349
Lord, meaning Jesus taught on this. All he's

00:36:40.349 --> 00:36:42.630
doing here is flipping that formula around. He's

00:36:42.630 --> 00:36:45.309
saying, I say not the Lord because during his

00:36:45.309 --> 00:36:48.199
days on the earth, Jesus didn't address this

00:36:48.199 --> 00:36:52.980
specific circumstance. Okay? He's just flipping

00:36:52.980 --> 00:36:55.340
the formula around. So he's saying, look, so

00:36:55.340 --> 00:36:58.280
now I'm going to reveal to you new apostolic

00:36:58.280 --> 00:37:01.059
commands. And as soon as you say that, some people

00:37:01.059 --> 00:37:03.500
freak out. They freak out. They're like, oh,

00:37:03.539 --> 00:37:05.159
wait, are you telling me this is just Paul's

00:37:05.159 --> 00:37:07.780
opinion and it's not divine truth? Absolutely

00:37:07.780 --> 00:37:10.860
not. Of course not. Paul is still being carried

00:37:10.860 --> 00:37:13.900
along by the Holy Spirit as he writes this. So

00:37:13.900 --> 00:37:16.480
everything he's about to write is just as inspired

00:37:16.480 --> 00:37:18.920
as everything he's written in chapters one through

00:37:18.920 --> 00:37:23.320
six. Okay, good. By the way, the red letters

00:37:23.320 --> 00:37:25.900
in your Bible are not more inspired than the

00:37:25.900 --> 00:37:29.239
rest of God's word. Just because Jesus said them,

00:37:29.280 --> 00:37:33.659
right? It's all the word, which is who? It's

00:37:33.659 --> 00:37:39.139
Jesus. Okay. Verbal plenary inspiration. You

00:37:39.139 --> 00:37:41.539
theology students. You know what I'm talking

00:37:41.539 --> 00:37:45.039
about. Okay, back to verse 12 now. Jesus didn't

00:37:45.039 --> 00:37:47.199
teach on this, but I, Paul, say this, that if

00:37:47.199 --> 00:37:50.440
any brother, meaning a Christian, has a wife

00:37:50.440 --> 00:37:54.599
who is an unbeliever and she consents to live

00:37:54.599 --> 00:37:58.460
with him, he must not divorce her. And then we

00:37:58.460 --> 00:38:00.800
see the mutual command in verse 13. And a woman

00:38:00.800 --> 00:38:03.659
who has an unbelieving husband, if he consents

00:38:03.659 --> 00:38:06.280
to live with her, she must not send her husband

00:38:06.280 --> 00:38:09.059
away. Again, referring to divorce. So here we

00:38:09.059 --> 00:38:11.800
have what we call an unequally yoked marriage.

00:38:11.960 --> 00:38:14.619
Raise your hand if you've heard that term. Okay.

00:38:18.940 --> 00:38:23.079
The best way to describe this is to put a picture

00:38:23.079 --> 00:38:26.170
of these animals on the screen. Those are two

00:38:26.170 --> 00:38:31.070
animals being yoked together. I literally said

00:38:31.070 --> 00:38:32.530
to Tanya last night, I'm like, should we put

00:38:32.530 --> 00:38:36.650
Jeff and Tanya up there? And my discerning wife

00:38:36.650 --> 00:38:42.510
was like, please don't make me a cow. Anyway,

00:38:42.730 --> 00:38:45.269
so that's what it means to be yoked together.

00:38:45.289 --> 00:38:47.769
That's where that phrase comes from. How important

00:38:47.769 --> 00:38:50.809
is it for those two animals to work together

00:38:50.809 --> 00:38:55.340
if they're going to get anything done? Can you

00:38:55.340 --> 00:38:57.579
imagine what would happen if both those animals

00:38:57.579 --> 00:39:01.079
decided to go in different directions? It's chaos,

00:39:01.320 --> 00:39:05.420
and it's unfruitful. So in a spiritual sense,

00:39:05.559 --> 00:39:08.780
we're told to avoid being unequally yoked in

00:39:08.780 --> 00:39:11.699
Scripture. Remember in Malachi 2, don't marry

00:39:11.699 --> 00:39:16.320
foreign, unbelieving women. God is upset. You've

00:39:16.320 --> 00:39:20.400
profaned his covenant, right? And then Paul in

00:39:20.400 --> 00:39:23.400
2 Corinthians 6, Tells the church why this is

00:39:23.400 --> 00:39:26.360
so offensive. He says, do not be bound or yoked

00:39:26.360 --> 00:39:28.980
together with unbelievers. For what partnership

00:39:28.980 --> 00:39:32.719
have righteousness and wickedness? Or what fellowship

00:39:32.719 --> 00:39:36.000
has light with darkness? What harmony is Christ

00:39:36.000 --> 00:39:38.840
with Satan? Or what is a believer in common with

00:39:38.840 --> 00:39:41.900
an unbeliever? Look, I know there's a lot of

00:39:41.900 --> 00:39:43.699
unbelievers out there that are really sweet people.

00:39:43.820 --> 00:39:46.559
I'm not saying that they're not. All I'm saying

00:39:46.559 --> 00:39:49.320
is that a believer and unbeliever do not share

00:39:49.320 --> 00:39:52.690
the same values and priorities. They don't share

00:39:52.690 --> 00:39:55.010
the same ability to discern truth and wisdom.

00:39:56.030 --> 00:39:58.789
Their entire worldviews and foundations for living

00:39:58.789 --> 00:40:01.150
are going to be different. So like those two

00:40:01.150 --> 00:40:03.329
oxen bound together, they're going to be trying

00:40:03.329 --> 00:40:06.190
to go in different directions. And it just doesn't

00:40:06.190 --> 00:40:10.989
work. So don't do it. Don't do it. Heed the wisdom

00:40:10.989 --> 00:40:12.949
of Scripture. And for the young men and women

00:40:12.949 --> 00:40:15.150
in this room, I'm going to expand that principle

00:40:15.150 --> 00:40:19.909
to dating. Do not date somebody who's unequally

00:40:19.909 --> 00:40:23.170
yoked with you. How many Christians have acknowledged

00:40:23.170 --> 00:40:25.909
this principle in scripture, but then they meet

00:40:25.909 --> 00:40:29.309
a non -believer and they fall in love, right?

00:40:29.610 --> 00:40:31.989
And their emotions and feelings get away from

00:40:31.989 --> 00:40:34.250
them. And they're like, but I know the principle.

00:40:34.309 --> 00:40:36.090
We're just dating. We're not going to get married.

00:40:36.630 --> 00:40:40.389
Guess what? They start walking down that road

00:40:40.389 --> 00:40:43.530
and they give their hearts away. And then suddenly

00:40:43.530 --> 00:40:46.130
they're in a crisis that's very difficult to

00:40:46.130 --> 00:40:49.139
walk away from. We call this missionary dating,

00:40:49.260 --> 00:40:52.019
and it's not a good idea. It's dangerous, right?

00:40:52.159 --> 00:40:55.639
It's dangerous because when that moment of crisis

00:40:55.639 --> 00:40:57.679
comes and you know you've got to turn away from

00:40:57.679 --> 00:41:00.780
it, it's really, really difficult. And if you're

00:41:00.780 --> 00:41:03.340
unable to turn away and you make the disobedient

00:41:03.340 --> 00:41:06.739
choice to marry the unbeliever thinking this,

00:41:06.880 --> 00:41:09.579
well, you know what? I'll witness to them. I'll

00:41:09.579 --> 00:41:12.199
bring them to church. I'll get them saved. That

00:41:12.199 --> 00:41:16.539
is not in your control. That is above your pay

00:41:16.539 --> 00:41:20.360
grade. Do not trust in that. More often than

00:41:20.360 --> 00:41:22.639
not, that unequally yoked marriage, and I can

00:41:22.639 --> 00:41:24.860
say this after more than 25 years in ministry

00:41:24.860 --> 00:41:28.199
and having to minister to people in those relationships,

00:41:28.480 --> 00:41:32.099
that is oftentimes a constant struggle that is

00:41:32.099 --> 00:41:34.099
filled with nothing but suffering and heartbreak.

00:41:35.039 --> 00:41:38.840
So don't walk down that road. Now, in the case

00:41:38.840 --> 00:41:40.619
of the Corinthians, it's likely that Paul is

00:41:40.619 --> 00:41:43.179
addressing a slightly different type of situation

00:41:43.179 --> 00:41:46.559
where a couple got married and both of them were

00:41:46.559 --> 00:41:49.420
pagans. And they shared a lifestyle. They were

00:41:49.420 --> 00:41:52.420
equally yoked as pagans. But then one of them

00:41:52.420 --> 00:41:54.840
got saved. The gospel came, and they came into

00:41:54.840 --> 00:41:56.900
union with Christ, but the other one didn't.

00:41:57.400 --> 00:42:01.139
And the question is, now what? Given the prevailing

00:42:01.139 --> 00:42:02.900
environment in Corinth, the Christian spouse

00:42:02.900 --> 00:42:05.039
might be tempted to say, well, I will just divorce

00:42:05.039 --> 00:42:08.900
my unbelieving spouse. That'll make me more acceptable

00:42:08.900 --> 00:42:12.500
to the Lord. That'll purify me. That will cease

00:42:12.500 --> 00:42:16.800
me from defiling myself because they're an unbeliever.

00:42:17.420 --> 00:42:19.900
But Paul says, no, absolutely not. Do not do

00:42:19.900 --> 00:42:23.199
that. If the unbelieving spouse is willing to

00:42:23.199 --> 00:42:25.420
live with you, don't break that union. In fact,

00:42:25.559 --> 00:42:28.320
as the person in the marriage who possesses the

00:42:28.320 --> 00:42:31.280
joy of knowing God, you should do all you can

00:42:31.280 --> 00:42:34.840
to confirm the permanence of that marriage for

00:42:34.840 --> 00:42:36.780
the sake of your unbelieving husband and for

00:42:36.780 --> 00:42:40.300
the sake of your children. You should fight for

00:42:40.300 --> 00:42:43.519
permanence in that marriage. That's what Paul

00:42:43.519 --> 00:42:45.900
goes on to say in verse 14. Look at verse 14.

00:42:46.710 --> 00:42:49.510
For the unbelieving husband is sanctified through

00:42:49.510 --> 00:42:52.829
his wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified

00:42:52.829 --> 00:42:55.550
through her believing husband. Otherwise, your

00:42:55.550 --> 00:42:59.250
children are unclean, but now they're holy. Wow,

00:42:59.429 --> 00:43:02.369
that's a big statement. Now let's talk about

00:43:02.369 --> 00:43:05.090
what Paul's not saying here. By using the words

00:43:05.090 --> 00:43:07.929
sanctified and holy, he's not saying that somehow

00:43:07.929 --> 00:43:10.869
the unbelieving spouse or the children are just

00:43:10.869 --> 00:43:14.590
magically saved or involuntarily saved. There's

00:43:14.590 --> 00:43:16.289
not even a promise here that someday they will

00:43:16.289 --> 00:43:18.969
be saved. That would be contrary to what we know

00:43:18.969 --> 00:43:22.070
Scripture tells us about salvation. Both of these

00:43:22.070 --> 00:43:24.750
words, sanctified and holy, come from the same

00:43:24.750 --> 00:43:29.750
Greek root, hagios. They basically mean the same

00:43:29.750 --> 00:43:32.550
thing. And the specific verb for sanctified,

00:43:32.650 --> 00:43:35.880
hagiadzo, has a range of meaning and application

00:43:35.880 --> 00:43:38.500
depending on context. And we've already looked

00:43:38.500 --> 00:43:41.219
at this before in 1 Corinthians. In some places,

00:43:41.260 --> 00:43:44.400
sanctified does mean to purify or to cleanse

00:43:44.400 --> 00:43:47.300
from sin. But in other places, like this one,

00:43:47.500 --> 00:43:50.159
it simply means something that is set apart for

00:43:50.159 --> 00:43:53.440
God's purposes. Set apart for God's purposes.

00:43:53.719 --> 00:43:56.800
So what Paul's saying in verse 14 is this. The

00:43:56.800 --> 00:43:59.619
presence of a believing man or woman in the home

00:43:59.619 --> 00:44:02.500
means that others in that family are blessed.

00:44:03.760 --> 00:44:06.500
They're blessed because they experience the influence

00:44:06.500 --> 00:44:12.539
of that believer's sanctified life. Now remember,

00:44:12.679 --> 00:44:14.739
Paul's dealing with Christians in Corinth who

00:44:14.739 --> 00:44:17.039
were thinking about divorcing their unbelieving

00:44:17.039 --> 00:44:19.840
spouses because they thought they might be defiled

00:44:19.840 --> 00:44:22.519
by them. Paul's saying the opposite. He's saying,

00:44:22.579 --> 00:44:25.079
no, no, no, no. Not only are you not defiled

00:44:25.079 --> 00:44:27.800
by the presence of your unbelieving spouse, But

00:44:27.800 --> 00:44:29.960
the opposite is true. Your unbelieving partner

00:44:29.960 --> 00:44:32.719
and your children are sanctified in the eyes

00:44:32.719 --> 00:44:36.380
of God by your presence in their lives. It's

00:44:36.380 --> 00:44:38.280
a total reversal of what the Corinthians were

00:44:38.280 --> 00:44:42.800
thinking. He's like, so stay there. Be that sanctifying

00:44:42.800 --> 00:44:45.760
influence in the life of your spouse and your

00:44:45.760 --> 00:44:48.760
kids. He is reordering their thinking completely

00:44:48.760 --> 00:44:51.980
on this. And look, for any believer who finds

00:44:51.980 --> 00:44:55.320
himself or herself in this situation, first of

00:44:55.320 --> 00:45:00.079
all, it's really hard. We got married as pagans

00:45:00.079 --> 00:45:01.940
and then I got saved, but my husband or wife

00:45:01.940 --> 00:45:05.199
isn't there with me. That's a really, really

00:45:05.199 --> 00:45:08.619
hard situation to be in. But if you find yourself

00:45:08.619 --> 00:45:11.840
in that, what you have to do is now embrace that

00:45:11.840 --> 00:45:15.159
challenge. Embrace that weighty responsibility

00:45:15.159 --> 00:45:20.480
to be a light in the midst of that family. I

00:45:20.480 --> 00:45:22.840
know it's hard. I know it's heavy. But this is

00:45:22.840 --> 00:45:26.400
your challenge now, your testimony, your conduct,

00:45:26.519 --> 00:45:29.420
your attitude, your words, the discipline that

00:45:29.420 --> 00:45:32.159
you show. Those things have an impact on any

00:45:32.159 --> 00:45:34.820
unbeliever in your household. They're watching

00:45:34.820 --> 00:45:39.500
you, and you represent Christ. Your goal in your

00:45:39.500 --> 00:45:41.900
prayer life should focus on becoming that sanctifying

00:45:41.900 --> 00:45:45.719
influence in their lives. Now, that doesn't mean

00:45:45.719 --> 00:45:47.980
it's all on you, because God is sovereign, right?

00:45:48.139 --> 00:45:49.940
And there are many things that he'll control

00:45:49.940 --> 00:45:52.510
that you can't control. And he's ultimately going

00:45:52.510 --> 00:45:54.429
to bring about his will in the lives of your

00:45:54.429 --> 00:45:58.349
family. But still, embrace that challenge and

00:45:58.349 --> 00:46:01.269
that responsibility to be a sanctifying influence

00:46:01.269 --> 00:46:04.630
in the home. By the way, in some cases, it doesn't

00:46:04.630 --> 00:46:07.510
matter how godly you are, it won't make a difference.

00:46:07.650 --> 00:46:11.389
And I've seen this too many times in my ministry

00:46:11.389 --> 00:46:14.329
career. The unbelieving spouse, no matter how

00:46:14.329 --> 00:46:16.929
godly the believer is, just continues to reject

00:46:16.929 --> 00:46:20.909
Christ, continues to push away any sense of their

00:46:20.909 --> 00:46:23.809
testimony or church life. And man, that's an

00:46:23.809 --> 00:46:26.829
ongoing struggle. It's a really hard thing. So

00:46:26.829 --> 00:46:29.630
when we have people in the body who have found

00:46:29.630 --> 00:46:32.090
themselves in this situation, will you hold them

00:46:32.090 --> 00:46:35.070
up in prayer? Will you come alongside them in

00:46:35.070 --> 00:46:37.409
practical ways and love on them? Because they

00:46:37.409 --> 00:46:40.090
are going through it. And it's a hard thing.

00:46:40.210 --> 00:46:43.250
Still, this truth remains. Don't seek to dissolve

00:46:43.250 --> 00:46:46.070
that marriage, Paul says. Don't do it. If your

00:46:46.070 --> 00:46:48.789
unbelieving spouse is willing to stay, let them

00:46:48.789 --> 00:46:52.190
stay and then work from the inside. You are an

00:46:52.190 --> 00:46:56.010
insider agent of change, of influence, right?

00:46:56.210 --> 00:46:59.269
Try to move them towards Christ. And as you do

00:46:59.269 --> 00:47:02.570
that, don't manipulate the situation. Don't try

00:47:02.570 --> 00:47:06.050
to over -control it. Don't compromise. Stand

00:47:06.050 --> 00:47:08.889
firm in the truth and trust God's sovereign will.

00:47:09.699 --> 00:47:12.420
that he will do a work. God can be glorified

00:47:12.420 --> 00:47:15.619
in this kind of mixed marriage, and yes, it's

00:47:15.619 --> 00:47:17.780
possible that he will use you and your influence

00:47:17.780 --> 00:47:20.900
to bring your unbelieving spouse to salvation.

00:47:21.039 --> 00:47:23.940
It's possible. God can do that. Pray to that

00:47:23.940 --> 00:47:26.840
end, amen? Okay, we're almost done, I promise

00:47:26.840 --> 00:47:30.219
you. I'm gonna take a drink. One last situation

00:47:30.219 --> 00:47:33.239
we have to address. Look at verse 15. This is

00:47:33.239 --> 00:47:36.000
what we call the abandonment principle. Verse

00:47:36.000 --> 00:47:40.119
15. Yet if the unbelieving one leaves, And again,

00:47:40.159 --> 00:47:42.840
that refers to separation and a divorce. If the

00:47:42.840 --> 00:47:44.880
unbeliever wishes to dissolve the marriage, Paul

00:47:44.880 --> 00:47:49.739
says what? Let them leave. Is that surprising?

00:47:51.920 --> 00:47:53.699
First time I read that when I was a young believer,

00:47:53.780 --> 00:47:55.780
I was surprised by that. You mean let them go?

00:47:55.940 --> 00:47:58.559
Yeah, that's what he says. If they want out,

00:47:58.719 --> 00:48:01.460
which I guarantee that was happening in Corinth

00:48:01.460 --> 00:48:03.760
in the first century, Paul says let them go.

00:48:04.719 --> 00:48:07.139
Right? Pagan couple gets married. They're living

00:48:07.139 --> 00:48:09.820
that pagan lifestyle. One of them comes to Christ.

00:48:10.019 --> 00:48:13.119
And imagine that relationship, once they come

00:48:13.119 --> 00:48:15.179
to Christ, looks completely different. And the

00:48:15.179 --> 00:48:17.179
unbeliever's like, I didn't sign up for this.

00:48:18.519 --> 00:48:21.539
It's actually fairly understandable. And they

00:48:21.539 --> 00:48:24.119
say, I don't support it. I don't like it. I don't

00:48:24.119 --> 00:48:28.260
want any part of it. I'm gone. Paul says, let

00:48:28.260 --> 00:48:31.480
them go. They're going to abandon the marriage.

00:48:32.460 --> 00:48:34.239
They're going to file for divorce. Paul says,

00:48:34.280 --> 00:48:37.760
let them go. Now, let me say this. It should

00:48:37.760 --> 00:48:39.739
be the godliness of the believer that causes

00:48:39.739 --> 00:48:43.119
that reaction. Because you're standing firm for

00:48:43.119 --> 00:48:45.599
Christ. It should not be the believing spouse

00:48:45.599 --> 00:48:49.019
acting in some demanding, insensitive, ungodly

00:48:49.019 --> 00:48:52.559
way, which drives the unbeliever away. I've seen

00:48:52.559 --> 00:48:56.559
that too. Where really what happens is, I want

00:48:56.559 --> 00:48:58.940
this person gone. They're not initiating the

00:48:58.940 --> 00:49:00.920
divorce, so I'll just become an absolute jerk.

00:49:02.409 --> 00:49:04.769
I'll just become a miserable spouse and drive

00:49:04.769 --> 00:49:08.289
them away. Uh -uh. Be really careful. God is

00:49:08.289 --> 00:49:11.929
a witness. It's your godly life, your stand for

00:49:11.929 --> 00:49:14.949
Christ, that draws this contrast between light

00:49:14.949 --> 00:49:16.789
and darkness. And that person says, I don't want

00:49:16.789 --> 00:49:20.809
that. And they initiate the divorce. That's true

00:49:20.809 --> 00:49:25.349
abandonment. Does that make sense? So if the

00:49:25.349 --> 00:49:26.929
unbeliever abandons the marriage, Paul says,

00:49:26.989 --> 00:49:30.590
let him go. Look at verse 15. He says that brother

00:49:30.590 --> 00:49:33.889
or sister is no longer under bondage, meaning

00:49:33.889 --> 00:49:37.130
that marriage covenant in God's eyes has now

00:49:37.130 --> 00:49:41.289
been broken and they are free to marry someone

00:49:41.289 --> 00:49:45.170
else. Okay, so this is an important concession,

00:49:45.250 --> 00:49:47.610
right? And then Paul tells us the reason why

00:49:47.610 --> 00:49:50.449
we should let him go because he has called us

00:49:50.449 --> 00:49:54.610
to peace. So make sure that you've done all you

00:49:54.610 --> 00:49:56.969
can to love your spouse and keep that marriage

00:49:56.969 --> 00:50:00.340
alive. Make sure it's not your actions and attitudes

00:50:00.340 --> 00:50:03.559
that push them away. Make sure your conscience

00:50:03.559 --> 00:50:06.639
is clear in all of those respects. And then still,

00:50:06.699 --> 00:50:09.019
if they want to go, let them go because they

00:50:09.019 --> 00:50:11.900
left you, because they initiated the divorce,

00:50:12.019 --> 00:50:14.599
and your conscience is clear before the Lord.

00:50:14.699 --> 00:50:18.360
That, Paul says, is the peaceful way to handle

00:50:18.360 --> 00:50:21.139
it. Don't stay in the home and aggressively resist

00:50:21.139 --> 00:50:24.199
the whole thing and just... create chaos in your

00:50:24.199 --> 00:50:26.679
home where there's constant anger and fighting

00:50:26.679 --> 00:50:28.900
and quarreling, that is not the way of peace.

00:50:29.400 --> 00:50:33.619
Let them go. And then in the final verse for

00:50:33.619 --> 00:50:35.420
the morning, Paul addresses an objection that

00:50:35.420 --> 00:50:37.159
maybe came to your mind as we were talking about

00:50:37.159 --> 00:50:40.079
this. I've literally heard this before. Somebody

00:50:40.079 --> 00:50:42.039
says, well, look, if I let my unbelieving spouse

00:50:42.039 --> 00:50:44.480
go, how's he going to come to a saving knowledge

00:50:44.480 --> 00:50:48.119
of Christ? If I let him go, I lose the opportunity

00:50:48.119 --> 00:50:53.110
to keep witnessing to him. Paul literally addresses

00:50:53.110 --> 00:50:55.570
it in verse 16. He says, well, how do you know,

00:50:55.630 --> 00:50:58.690
O wife, whether you will save your husband? Or

00:50:58.690 --> 00:51:00.170
how do you know, O husband, whether you will

00:51:00.170 --> 00:51:03.010
save your wife? In other words, don't ignore

00:51:03.010 --> 00:51:05.289
this teaching because you think you're the only

00:51:05.289 --> 00:51:08.250
one out there who can lead this person to Christ.

00:51:09.550 --> 00:51:11.789
You can't control that, Paul says. I know you

00:51:11.789 --> 00:51:14.409
think you can, that's our human nature, but it's

00:51:14.409 --> 00:51:17.769
outside of your power, so don't rely on it. Let

00:51:17.769 --> 00:51:22.099
them go. You're free to remarry as long as you

00:51:22.099 --> 00:51:26.460
marry a believer. Caveat, right? Right? Okay.

00:51:26.800 --> 00:51:29.800
And if God desires to redeem your ex -wife or

00:51:29.800 --> 00:51:32.840
your ex -husband in the future, he is capable

00:51:32.840 --> 00:51:36.659
of raising up the right instrument and the right

00:51:36.659 --> 00:51:39.619
circumstance to bring them to saving faith. You

00:51:39.619 --> 00:51:42.519
don't have to try to control that. You can trust

00:51:42.519 --> 00:51:49.010
him. Okay. We have to end there because I'm already

00:51:49.010 --> 00:51:51.090
running super late and Grant's like, are we done

00:51:51.090 --> 00:51:53.849
yet? We are. Let me just say this, guys. Again,

00:51:53.969 --> 00:51:56.630
I can't answer every possible nuance to this

00:51:56.630 --> 00:51:59.449
subject. These are the general principles. If

00:51:59.449 --> 00:52:01.670
you have a question on any of this or you want

00:52:01.670 --> 00:52:04.269
to come up and say, I need some wisdom, will

00:52:04.269 --> 00:52:06.269
you either find me after the service today or

00:52:06.269 --> 00:52:08.550
reach out this week? I'd love to chat with you

00:52:08.550 --> 00:52:14.610
more about it. Let's bow our heads for now. Oh,

00:52:14.650 --> 00:52:17.130
Father, our... Our hearts are so complicated.

00:52:19.650 --> 00:52:27.070
And our desires and our wants are so easily directed

00:52:27.070 --> 00:52:32.309
by sin. And Father, I know that none of this

00:52:32.309 --> 00:52:34.289
surprises you, but these are hard principles

00:52:34.289 --> 00:52:39.590
for us because we want what we want. And so as

00:52:39.590 --> 00:52:42.909
we study these instructions, these commands that

00:52:42.909 --> 00:52:45.409
you've given us, Lord, I pray. for each one of

00:52:45.409 --> 00:52:47.170
us that we would search our own hearts and be

00:52:47.170 --> 00:52:50.889
honest with ourselves about either being single

00:52:50.889 --> 00:52:54.269
right now or being unmarried right now or being

00:52:54.269 --> 00:52:56.289
in a marriage relationship that's in conflict.

00:52:56.929 --> 00:52:59.150
Lord, would your spirit cause us to search our

00:52:59.150 --> 00:53:03.829
hearts and to lay our consciences before you

00:53:03.829 --> 00:53:07.690
and ask the hard questions at your throne of

00:53:07.690 --> 00:53:13.309
grace. Am I being a godly spouse? Where do I

00:53:13.309 --> 00:53:15.679
need to change? Where do I need to be transformed

00:53:15.679 --> 00:53:19.360
by your spirit? We trust you to do that work

00:53:19.360 --> 00:53:21.440
in us, Lord, and pray that for myself as well.

00:53:22.980 --> 00:53:24.719
So, Father, thank you for a time in the word,

00:53:24.820 --> 00:53:27.500
and thank you for a chance now to respond in

00:53:27.500 --> 00:53:30.619
singing, singing praises to your name. Help us

00:53:30.619 --> 00:53:32.679
to do that well. For your glory and our good

00:53:32.679 --> 00:53:33.760
we pray. Amen.