WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:02.419 Well, this morning is the perfect time for us 00:00:02.419 --> 00:00:04.980 to pause and reflect on what we've learned so 00:00:04.980 --> 00:00:07.980 far in Paul's first letter to the Corinthian 00:00:07.980 --> 00:00:10.640 church. And I'll tell you why that's uniquely 00:00:10.640 --> 00:00:13.619 important on a Sunday like this. We are about 00:00:13.619 --> 00:00:16.399 six months into this series, and we have now 00:00:16.399 --> 00:00:19.300 covered the first six chapters of the letter. 00:00:19.739 --> 00:00:22.420 And over those six chapters, we've seen Paul 00:00:22.420 --> 00:00:25.660 address problem after problem that he has seen 00:00:25.660 --> 00:00:28.989 taking place. in the church at Corinth. In fact, 00:00:28.989 --> 00:00:31.530 I've grouped them into seven things that we have 00:00:31.530 --> 00:00:34.450 seen him address in these first six chapters. 00:00:34.549 --> 00:00:36.609 Take a look at the screen, and I'll just read 00:00:36.609 --> 00:00:39.030 them to you. First of all, he talked about divisions 00:00:39.030 --> 00:00:42.170 in the church, this idea of factionalism, people 00:00:42.170 --> 00:00:45.030 clicking up and then opposing one another within 00:00:45.030 --> 00:00:49.250 the same body. Secondly, leaning on worldly wisdom 00:00:49.250 --> 00:00:54.289 rather than godly wisdom. Third, fleshly thinking, 00:00:54.570 --> 00:00:59.420 fleshly living. Fourth, prideful judgment of 00:00:59.420 --> 00:01:03.979 leaders. Looking down on this leader while following 00:01:03.979 --> 00:01:06.980 this guy and separating the church because of 00:01:06.980 --> 00:01:09.420 that. Failure to practice church discipline. 00:01:09.480 --> 00:01:15.599 We saw all of chapter 5 was this bout of incest, 00:01:15.599 --> 00:01:18.599 really, and the church's failure to address it 00:01:18.599 --> 00:01:20.859 with church discipline. Then we saw the horror 00:01:20.859 --> 00:01:24.739 of lawsuits among believers taking place in secular 00:01:24.739 --> 00:01:28.939 courts. where we left off last Sunday, the last 00:01:28.939 --> 00:01:31.540 couple weeks, actually talking about rampant 00:01:31.540 --> 00:01:35.379 sexual immorality, porneia, about how our bodies 00:01:35.379 --> 00:01:37.760 now belong to Christ as temples of the Holy Spirit, 00:01:37.859 --> 00:01:41.200 and yet in Corinth there was all kinds of sexual 00:01:41.200 --> 00:01:44.359 immorality taking place. So it's been quite a 00:01:44.359 --> 00:01:47.000 ride so far, right, in these six chapters? In 00:01:47.000 --> 00:01:48.599 fact, go ahead and grab your Bibles and turn 00:01:48.599 --> 00:01:52.980 to 1 Corinthians as we enter into chapter 7. 00:01:54.140 --> 00:01:56.959 By the way, just a little bit of insight into 00:01:56.959 --> 00:01:58.700 the world of the preacher. Whenever the elder 00:01:58.700 --> 00:02:01.359 team gets together and we pray over which book 00:02:01.359 --> 00:02:03.159 of the Bible we're going to preach through next, 00:02:03.359 --> 00:02:06.019 the first thing that pops into my head is, oh, 00:02:06.120 --> 00:02:08.699 all the amazing chapters and verses that I'm 00:02:08.699 --> 00:02:11.060 going to get to study and teach on. It's very 00:02:11.060 --> 00:02:13.800 exciting. And then there are the chapters I'm 00:02:13.800 --> 00:02:17.740 less excited about. And 1 Corinthians 7 falls 00:02:17.740 --> 00:02:20.620 into that latter category. Not that we should 00:02:20.620 --> 00:02:23.219 be afraid of it or demean its importance. It 00:02:23.219 --> 00:02:27.199 just has some difficult matters that need to 00:02:27.199 --> 00:02:29.620 be discussed. Some things need to be worked through 00:02:29.620 --> 00:02:31.259 and some difficult interpretations. And you'll 00:02:31.259 --> 00:02:33.460 see that as we go along and we'll work through 00:02:33.460 --> 00:02:36.439 it together. Now, a change takes place in Paul's 00:02:36.439 --> 00:02:39.919 letter here. when we start reading in chapter 00:02:39.919 --> 00:02:42.479 seven. If you look at verse one, you'll see that 00:02:42.479 --> 00:02:45.879 he begins with these words. He says, now concerning 00:02:45.879 --> 00:02:49.879 the things about which you wrote. Okay, interesting. 00:02:50.539 --> 00:02:52.560 So we have a historical development here. The 00:02:52.560 --> 00:02:54.939 first six chapters, Paul was just hammering it 00:02:54.939 --> 00:02:58.000 away at the issues he thought were most important 00:02:58.000 --> 00:03:00.039 to deal with. Because remember, he had heard 00:03:00.039 --> 00:03:03.240 reports while he was in Ephesus across the Aegean 00:03:03.240 --> 00:03:05.639 Sea ministering there. He heard reports about 00:03:05.639 --> 00:03:07.860 all kinds of problems in the church in Corinth. 00:03:07.960 --> 00:03:10.000 So he's been hammering away at all these problems. 00:03:10.120 --> 00:03:13.960 But now, from chapter 7 through chapter 11, he's 00:03:13.960 --> 00:03:16.919 going to respond to certain issues which the 00:03:16.919 --> 00:03:19.840 Corinthian believers had written to him about. 00:03:20.740 --> 00:03:24.340 asking for his apostolic counsel and asking for 00:03:24.340 --> 00:03:27.319 his instructions. And the first on that list 00:03:27.319 --> 00:03:30.860 is marriage and divorce. And so that's what we're 00:03:30.860 --> 00:03:32.419 going to be walking through all through the month 00:03:32.419 --> 00:03:35.620 of September, marriage and divorce. Now, remember, 00:03:35.719 --> 00:03:38.060 there were various factions among the believers 00:03:38.060 --> 00:03:40.659 there in Corinth, and it seems that each one 00:03:40.659 --> 00:03:43.710 of these factions had its own little... pet group 00:03:43.710 --> 00:03:45.789 of doctrines that they believed, and they were 00:03:45.789 --> 00:03:48.750 constantly looking down on those who held a different 00:03:48.750 --> 00:03:52.009 position. And so when you look at a letter that 00:03:52.009 --> 00:03:54.370 was written to Paul asking questions, you have 00:03:54.370 --> 00:03:57.310 to wonder about the motivation behind the questions. 00:03:57.969 --> 00:04:00.250 Were they really looking for apostolic truth, 00:04:00.430 --> 00:04:02.569 or is it possible that they wrote certain questions 00:04:02.569 --> 00:04:05.669 down for Paul in order to justify their specific 00:04:05.669 --> 00:04:08.689 views? To be able to get a letter from Paul and 00:04:08.689 --> 00:04:11.509 look at their opposition and say, see, Paul agrees 00:04:11.509 --> 00:04:15.879 with me. Just something to consider. And the 00:04:15.879 --> 00:04:18.160 statement that Paul first is asked to evaluate 00:04:18.160 --> 00:04:22.680 is right there in verse 1. And again, I'm preaching 00:04:22.680 --> 00:04:24.139 from the New American Standard, but if you have 00:04:24.139 --> 00:04:28.600 an ESV or a CSB or a NIV on your lap, you're 00:04:28.600 --> 00:04:31.639 going to find quotation marks around this statement 00:04:31.639 --> 00:04:33.959 in verse 1. And here's what it is. I'll put it 00:04:33.959 --> 00:04:37.019 on the screen. Quote, it is good for a man not 00:04:37.019 --> 00:04:44.180 to touch a woman. Oh, really? Okay, so that's 00:04:44.180 --> 00:04:46.399 what they're asking about. One of the things 00:04:46.399 --> 00:04:48.680 that they wrote to Paul about was this statement. 00:04:48.819 --> 00:04:50.879 And this is the statement that Paul is going 00:04:50.879 --> 00:04:53.819 to analyze in chapter 7. What follows, by the 00:04:53.819 --> 00:04:56.040 way, is not a full treatment of God's view of 00:04:56.040 --> 00:04:59.420 marriage, or he doesn't address every nuance 00:04:59.420 --> 00:05:02.199 and detail about marriage and sex, but it's a 00:05:02.199 --> 00:05:04.740 teaching that's based on this particular statement 00:05:04.740 --> 00:05:07.259 and this question that they wrote to him about. 00:05:07.480 --> 00:05:10.000 And as you can see by the statement, you can 00:05:10.000 --> 00:05:12.620 kind of figure out what kind of faction in the 00:05:12.620 --> 00:05:14.540 Corinthian church would have made that statement. 00:05:15.839 --> 00:05:18.879 It's not good for a man to touch a woman. It 00:05:18.879 --> 00:05:21.540 likely came from a faction in the church that 00:05:21.540 --> 00:05:25.579 was ascetic, that was celibate. They took a celibacy 00:05:25.579 --> 00:05:29.720 position on the subject of all sexuality. So, 00:05:29.740 --> 00:05:32.519 warning to all, we're talking about sex this 00:05:32.519 --> 00:05:35.459 morning. And I know that can be uncomfortable 00:05:35.459 --> 00:05:37.860 in church, but friends, listen, this is a subject 00:05:37.860 --> 00:05:40.139 that is frequently addressed in the scriptures, 00:05:40.459 --> 00:05:43.360 both Old and New Testament. And so obviously 00:05:43.360 --> 00:05:45.740 we can't ignore what Paul says here, and we can't 00:05:45.740 --> 00:05:48.060 just skip over it. What we have to do together 00:05:48.060 --> 00:05:51.180 this morning is face this issue and deal with 00:05:51.180 --> 00:05:54.319 it with the maturity that it deserves. And we 00:05:54.319 --> 00:05:56.040 can start with this very basic truth, and in 00:05:56.040 --> 00:05:58.740 spite of how badly human beings have distorted 00:05:58.740 --> 00:06:02.560 marriage and sex, they are both gifts from God, 00:06:02.939 --> 00:06:06.379 from a creator who loves us and wants us to enjoy 00:06:06.379 --> 00:06:10.879 them to the fullest. The creator gave them to 00:06:10.879 --> 00:06:14.139 us as gifts, marriage and sex, and he desires 00:06:14.139 --> 00:06:16.839 that we enjoy them to the fullest. But sadly, 00:06:16.920 --> 00:06:19.199 the Corinthian believers had completely messed 00:06:19.199 --> 00:06:21.600 this up, right? We've seen it already. Paul had 00:06:21.600 --> 00:06:24.980 to rebuke them over fornication, over prostitution, 00:06:25.180 --> 00:06:29.279 over adultery, over homosexuality, even incest. 00:06:29.819 --> 00:06:31.480 And we'll look at some of the cultural reasons 00:06:31.480 --> 00:06:33.920 for that in just a moment. But here, right out 00:06:33.920 --> 00:06:36.279 of the gate in verse 1, we're sort of shocked 00:06:36.279 --> 00:06:38.939 to see that there are at least some members of 00:06:38.939 --> 00:06:41.639 the church in Corinth who believe that all sex 00:06:41.639 --> 00:06:45.720 is immoral and that even married couples should 00:06:45.720 --> 00:06:48.500 abstain from it. It's not good, they say, for 00:06:48.500 --> 00:06:51.319 a man to touch a woman. So what you have in this 00:06:51.319 --> 00:06:53.600 church, and it's so hard to imagine because, 00:06:53.660 --> 00:06:56.860 look, we're a like -minded body. today, right? 00:06:56.959 --> 00:06:58.680 But in the church of Corinth in the first century, 00:06:58.779 --> 00:07:01.620 you had these libertines that don't seem to have 00:07:01.620 --> 00:07:04.459 any standard for sex at all, right? They weren't 00:07:04.459 --> 00:07:06.839 all that upset. They weren't upset enough to 00:07:06.839 --> 00:07:09.220 confront the man who is sleeping with his mother 00:07:09.220 --> 00:07:11.680 -in -law in chapter 5. They're not concerned 00:07:11.680 --> 00:07:14.560 about joining themselves to a prostitute because, 00:07:14.639 --> 00:07:17.699 hey, that's just my body, not my soul. So you 00:07:17.699 --> 00:07:20.060 have libertines on one side, and now you have 00:07:20.060 --> 00:07:23.939 celibates on the other. Right? Aesthetics who 00:07:23.939 --> 00:07:26.779 want to abandon all sexuality, and somehow these 00:07:26.779 --> 00:07:29.540 folks are all living together in the same local 00:07:29.540 --> 00:07:33.019 church. Can you imagine the chaos? Okay, let's 00:07:33.019 --> 00:07:34.180 read the whole passage. We're going to look at 00:07:34.180 --> 00:07:36.839 verses 1 to 7 here. Here's what it says. Now 00:07:36.839 --> 00:07:38.680 concerning the things about which you wrote, 00:07:38.920 --> 00:07:42.319 it is good for a man not to touch a woman. But, 00:07:42.339 --> 00:07:45.579 Paul says in verse 2, because of immoralities, 00:07:45.720 --> 00:07:50.019 porneia, each man is to have his own wife. And 00:07:50.019 --> 00:07:52.959 each woman is to have her own husband. The husband 00:07:52.959 --> 00:07:56.439 must fulfill his duty, his marital duty to his 00:07:56.439 --> 00:07:59.279 wife, and likewise also the wife to her husband. 00:07:59.779 --> 00:08:02.199 The wife does not have authority over her own 00:08:02.199 --> 00:08:05.160 body, but the husband does. And likewise also 00:08:05.160 --> 00:08:07.500 the husband does not have authority over his 00:08:07.500 --> 00:08:11.160 body, but the wife does. Stop depriving one another. 00:08:11.920 --> 00:08:14.540 Except by agreement for a time so that you may 00:08:14.540 --> 00:08:17.600 devote yourselves to prayer and come together 00:08:17.600 --> 00:08:20.620 again so that Satan will not tempt you because 00:08:20.620 --> 00:08:23.560 of your lack of self -control. But this I say 00:08:23.560 --> 00:08:26.899 by way of concession, not of command. Last verse. 00:08:27.139 --> 00:08:30.240 Yet I wish that all men were even as I myself 00:08:30.240 --> 00:08:34.039 am. However, each man has his own gift from God, 00:08:34.220 --> 00:08:39.289 one in this manner and another in that. Okay, 00:08:39.370 --> 00:08:41.330 before we break this down, and there's a lot 00:08:41.330 --> 00:08:44.009 here, we should spend a few moments talking about 00:08:44.009 --> 00:08:47.450 the cultural background for all of this. This 00:08:47.450 --> 00:08:50.529 teaching, this question that gets sent to Paul 00:08:50.529 --> 00:08:53.409 does not happen in a vacuum. There is a cultural 00:08:53.409 --> 00:08:56.730 background to it. Why did asceticism, why did 00:08:56.730 --> 00:09:01.190 celibacy set into the church back in this day? 00:09:01.389 --> 00:09:04.610 Well, let's not forget that Corinth is a quintessential 00:09:04.610 --> 00:09:07.570 Greek city. Remember, we did a whole introduction 00:09:07.570 --> 00:09:11.470 about this six months ago. Wealthy, bustling, 00:09:11.470 --> 00:09:14.690 cosmopolitan, it's a crossroads for trade across 00:09:14.690 --> 00:09:17.730 the ancient world, and its people and its culture 00:09:17.730 --> 00:09:20.669 and its practices were deeply rooted in both 00:09:20.669 --> 00:09:24.509 Greek and Roman ways of life. And marriage in 00:09:24.509 --> 00:09:27.169 those days, in that part of the world, looks 00:09:27.169 --> 00:09:30.250 almost nothing like marriage in the modern West 00:09:30.250 --> 00:09:32.700 today. So that means we have to dig in a little 00:09:32.700 --> 00:09:34.340 bit to figure out what was going on so that we 00:09:34.340 --> 00:09:36.840 can fully understand why Paul writes as he does. 00:09:37.159 --> 00:09:41.220 Marriage today is mostly, I say mostly, mostly 00:09:41.220 --> 00:09:44.279 based on romantic love, right, and compatibility. 00:09:44.919 --> 00:09:47.620 But that was not the case 2 ,000 years ago in 00:09:47.620 --> 00:09:49.980 the Mediterranean world. Ancient Greco -Roman 00:09:49.980 --> 00:09:52.759 marriage was less about love and more about things 00:09:52.759 --> 00:09:56.159 like economic interests, alliances made between 00:09:56.159 --> 00:09:59.240 family lines, and of course producing legitimate 00:09:59.240 --> 00:10:03.620 heirs. Fathers and male guardians generally arranged 00:10:03.620 --> 00:10:06.700 marriages back then between young men and women, 00:10:06.799 --> 00:10:09.419 including the use of dowries and links to property 00:10:09.419 --> 00:10:11.980 and other family possessions. And unless you 00:10:11.980 --> 00:10:15.059 were one of the elite class, women had almost 00:10:15.059 --> 00:10:18.600 no say and no choice in the matter. It was, by 00:10:18.600 --> 00:10:22.200 definition, a very patriarchal structure. I know 00:10:22.200 --> 00:10:25.019 that today I hear women all the time talking 00:10:25.019 --> 00:10:27.840 about, oh, the patriarchy. Trust me, what you 00:10:27.840 --> 00:10:30.809 have today. is amazing compared to the ancient 00:10:30.809 --> 00:10:33.769 world. Trust me on that. And of course, slavery 00:10:33.769 --> 00:10:36.730 was rampant throughout the Roman Empire. And 00:10:36.730 --> 00:10:38.889 if that had varying degrees of slavery, there 00:10:38.889 --> 00:10:42.429 were completely disposable field slaves, and 00:10:42.429 --> 00:10:44.769 then there were highly trusted household slaves. 00:10:45.129 --> 00:10:48.289 But slavery was rampant in the Greco -Roman world. 00:10:48.370 --> 00:10:50.889 Whether you were a free citizen, a foreigner, 00:10:50.970 --> 00:10:54.429 or a slave, definitely impacted how you could 00:10:54.429 --> 00:10:57.649 get married back in the day. By the way, we should 00:10:57.649 --> 00:11:00.750 never forget that a substantial portion of the 00:11:00.750 --> 00:11:04.450 early church were slaves. Historians have looked 00:11:04.450 --> 00:11:07.610 at this. They generally agree it's somewhere 00:11:07.610 --> 00:11:11.350 between 10 % to 20 % of every early church congregation 00:11:11.350 --> 00:11:15.389 was a slave. So consider that as we go along. 00:11:15.490 --> 00:11:17.509 Now, slaves could only marry with their master's 00:11:17.509 --> 00:11:21.740 permission. technically wasn't even legal. They 00:11:21.740 --> 00:11:24.299 called it a tent marriage or a cohabitation marriage, 00:11:24.539 --> 00:11:26.639 and the slave owner could break up that marriage 00:11:26.639 --> 00:11:29.360 any time he wanted for any reason. He could just 00:11:29.360 --> 00:11:32.200 sell off the husband or sell off the slave for 00:11:32.200 --> 00:11:35.100 any reason he wanted. Among the lower classes, 00:11:35.159 --> 00:11:37.220 there was a type of marriage that today we would 00:11:37.220 --> 00:11:39.860 call common law marriage, where a man and woman 00:11:39.860 --> 00:11:43.080 would just settle down, cohabitate, and after 00:11:43.080 --> 00:11:46.899 a year, they were declared to be married. Then 00:11:46.899 --> 00:11:50.080 there was the what we call marriage by sale, 00:11:50.220 --> 00:11:53.139 where fathers literally had the right to sell 00:11:53.139 --> 00:11:55.659 their daughters into marriage for promises of 00:11:55.659 --> 00:11:58.860 economic advancement. And then there's the process 00:11:58.860 --> 00:12:02.000 for the elite class that was basically marriage 00:12:02.000 --> 00:12:04.320 among the elites in the equestrian class was 00:12:04.320 --> 00:12:06.740 about one thing and one thing only, establishing 00:12:06.740 --> 00:12:09.980 power. Everything was about family lines. It 00:12:09.980 --> 00:12:12.399 was about family alliances that would strengthen. 00:12:13.019 --> 00:12:16.100 Power. Now, what's interesting about the weddings 00:12:16.100 --> 00:12:19.019 of the Greco -Roman elites is that our modern 00:12:19.019 --> 00:12:21.480 day weddings today are pretty much patterned 00:12:21.480 --> 00:12:24.299 off the way they did weddings. If you don't know 00:12:24.299 --> 00:12:27.120 about all the connections between the Roman Empire 00:12:27.120 --> 00:12:30.279 and America, it's worth a study. It really affects 00:12:30.279 --> 00:12:33.080 our legal system and many other things. But weddings, 00:12:33.159 --> 00:12:35.259 think about this. Here's some of the things involved 00:12:35.259 --> 00:12:38.399 in an upper level, elite level Roman wedding. 00:12:38.639 --> 00:12:43.559 A bridal procession, matrons, vows, Prayers offered 00:12:43.559 --> 00:12:47.720 to the gods, the joining of hands, a veil, flowers, 00:12:48.200 --> 00:12:53.299 shout out Vibe Flowers, exchange of rings, and 00:12:53.299 --> 00:12:55.720 the feast after the ceremony. These were all 00:12:55.720 --> 00:12:57.799 marks of an elite Roman wedding and things that 00:12:57.799 --> 00:13:00.419 have carried on into our culture today. The sad 00:13:00.419 --> 00:13:03.460 part is what was missing, and that was the issue 00:13:03.460 --> 00:13:06.799 of covenant monogamy. Covenant monogamy. That 00:13:06.799 --> 00:13:09.850 was not... highly valued among either the Greeks 00:13:09.850 --> 00:13:12.269 or the Romans. And in terms of sexual access, 00:13:12.570 --> 00:13:14.889 there was two completely different standards 00:13:14.889 --> 00:13:18.629 for men and women, completely. While the culture 00:13:18.629 --> 00:13:21.029 insisted that a man could only have one wife 00:13:21.029 --> 00:13:24.789 at a time, concubines were just an accepted part 00:13:24.789 --> 00:13:28.850 of life, as were prostitutes, as was at times 00:13:28.850 --> 00:13:31.919 sexual mistreatment of slaves. And these could 00:13:31.919 --> 00:13:34.320 be female or male in that part of the world in 00:13:34.320 --> 00:13:37.200 that time. Homosexual affairs, even pederasty, 00:13:37.399 --> 00:13:40.759 were not frowned upon, especially if the man 00:13:40.759 --> 00:13:43.539 was powerful and part of the elite class. He 00:13:43.539 --> 00:13:46.539 could pretty much do as he pleases. The very 00:13:46.539 --> 00:13:52.480 famous Athenian statesman Demosthenes says this. 00:13:52.519 --> 00:13:54.720 He says the really ugly part out loud. This is 00:13:54.720 --> 00:13:57.240 in his day. He says, we have courtesans, which 00:13:57.240 --> 00:13:59.919 is a fancy word for prostitutes, courtesans. 00:14:00.509 --> 00:14:03.230 for the sake of pleasure. We have concubines 00:14:03.230 --> 00:14:06.190 for the sake of daily cohabitation. And we have 00:14:06.190 --> 00:14:08.610 wives for the purpose of having children and 00:14:08.610 --> 00:14:10.649 a faithful guardian for all of our household 00:14:10.649 --> 00:14:14.889 affairs. Suddenly, everything looks really good 00:14:14.889 --> 00:14:17.529 today, doesn't it? Because that is an ugly, ugly 00:14:17.529 --> 00:14:20.149 situation for a woman. Imagine being a woman 00:14:20.149 --> 00:14:23.690 back in this period of time. Not surprisingly, 00:14:23.690 --> 00:14:26.820 divorce was rampant, widespread. In fact, we 00:14:26.820 --> 00:14:29.120 have records of men who literally counted their 00:14:29.120 --> 00:14:33.179 years by the names of their wives. So Paul is 00:14:33.179 --> 00:14:34.899 writing to the Corinthians in the midst of this 00:14:34.899 --> 00:14:37.840 very confused culture when it comes to both marriage 00:14:37.840 --> 00:14:40.899 and sex. And you can imagine, and I can imagine, 00:14:40.980 --> 00:14:43.200 how difficult it would be for a man like Paul 00:14:43.200 --> 00:14:46.360 or Apollos to minister in the midst of that culture. 00:14:46.919 --> 00:14:49.399 to minister to new believers who are coming out 00:14:49.399 --> 00:14:51.759 of the pagan world with all these ideas and now 00:14:51.759 --> 00:14:54.220 being told they need to conform to biblical standards. 00:14:54.759 --> 00:14:57.080 And you had all these overlapping views, citizens, 00:14:57.220 --> 00:14:59.980 slaves, lower class, upper class, Greeks, Romans, 00:15:00.120 --> 00:15:03.039 and yes, even Jews in the Corinthian church. 00:15:03.120 --> 00:15:05.460 And that would have added a whole nother cultural 00:15:05.460 --> 00:15:08.860 layer to the milieu there. You had some marriages 00:15:08.860 --> 00:15:11.100 that were legal, some were common law, some were 00:15:11.100 --> 00:15:13.259 just slave marriages. And then you had young 00:15:13.259 --> 00:15:16.059 people dating and considering marriage. How do 00:15:16.059 --> 00:15:19.620 you address all this if you're Paul? So I say 00:15:19.620 --> 00:15:22.019 all that so that you can sort of empathize that 00:15:22.019 --> 00:15:24.379 this is not an easy thing, right? And not an 00:15:24.379 --> 00:15:27.440 easy problem to fix. So before we break all this 00:15:27.440 --> 00:15:29.000 down, I'm going to ask this question as well. 00:15:29.200 --> 00:15:33.220 Where did this issue of celibacy or asceticism, 00:15:33.220 --> 00:15:35.419 where did that come from in the church? Let's 00:15:35.419 --> 00:15:38.299 talk about it. The issue of asceticism is an 00:15:38.299 --> 00:15:41.139 ancient one. And first, let me define that term. 00:15:41.220 --> 00:15:43.480 It comes from a Greek word, which is not found 00:15:43.480 --> 00:15:45.740 in the New Testament, but is found in ancient 00:15:45.740 --> 00:15:48.019 Greek literature. And the word generally refers 00:15:48.019 --> 00:15:51.659 to training or exercise. And in a Christian sense, 00:15:51.919 --> 00:15:54.940 it was adopted in terms of spiritual training. 00:15:56.019 --> 00:15:58.519 Spiritual training. How do I turn my attention 00:15:58.519 --> 00:16:01.960 away from myself and focus my attention on the 00:16:01.960 --> 00:16:05.399 Lord alone? So an ascetic would intentionally 00:16:05.399 --> 00:16:08.299 engage in spiritual disciplines like extended 00:16:08.299 --> 00:16:11.419 times of prayer and extended times of fasting, 00:16:11.559 --> 00:16:14.679 all forms of bodily discipline. And they would 00:16:14.679 --> 00:16:17.399 probably point to certain aspects of the New 00:16:17.399 --> 00:16:19.139 Testament. They would say, well, look at the 00:16:19.139 --> 00:16:21.080 life of John the Baptist, for example. He seems 00:16:21.080 --> 00:16:23.860 very ascetic. Well, look at the fast that Jesus 00:16:23.860 --> 00:16:27.299 engaged in in the wilderness, 40 -day fast. Look 00:16:27.299 --> 00:16:30.600 at Paul. He lived as a single man. and he had 00:16:30.600 --> 00:16:32.539 all these ministry hardships, they would look 00:16:32.539 --> 00:16:35.259 at those examples and say, we should pattern 00:16:35.259 --> 00:16:37.679 ourselves after them. Although, let me just say, 00:16:37.799 --> 00:16:40.240 none of us are the Messiah, the forerunner to 00:16:40.240 --> 00:16:42.539 the Messiah, or an apostle. So we should be really 00:16:42.539 --> 00:16:45.080 careful about that, right? Okay. But you would 00:16:45.080 --> 00:16:48.059 find various ascetics sprinkled throughout the 00:16:48.059 --> 00:16:50.580 first two centuries of the church, but they didn't 00:16:50.580 --> 00:16:52.600 really stand out among their communities of faith. 00:16:52.659 --> 00:16:55.419 They just practiced ascetic disciplines within 00:16:55.419 --> 00:16:58.100 the local church. In the early fourth century, 00:16:58.669 --> 00:17:01.889 you begin to see asceticism really take hold 00:17:01.889 --> 00:17:05.029 in the church, and especially in the East. You 00:17:05.029 --> 00:17:07.789 find it particularly in Palestine, in Syria, 00:17:07.950 --> 00:17:12.289 and most importantly, in Egypt. In Egypt, asceticism 00:17:12.289 --> 00:17:15.609 becomes the hotbed of what we call hermit life. 00:17:16.009 --> 00:17:19.490 Have you ever heard the term hermit? Actual hermits 00:17:19.490 --> 00:17:22.349 who would go out into the desert, swear off all 00:17:22.349 --> 00:17:25.230 worldly comforts, and live in caves for the rest 00:17:25.230 --> 00:17:31.640 of their lives, And interestingly, one of the 00:17:31.640 --> 00:17:35.700 reasons why historians look at this, what seems 00:17:35.700 --> 00:17:38.839 to be strange behavior, this idea of breaking 00:17:38.839 --> 00:17:41.559 off from society and going into the desert and 00:17:41.559 --> 00:17:44.279 suffering to a degree that we can hardly even 00:17:44.279 --> 00:17:47.420 imagine, one of the reasons behind this was because 00:17:47.420 --> 00:17:50.980 when Constantine issued his famous edict in the 00:17:50.980 --> 00:17:54.759 year 313, which gave Christians the freedom to 00:17:54.759 --> 00:17:57.910 openly worship, The church suffered from this 00:17:57.910 --> 00:18:01.470 sort of collective sense of guilt. It's like 00:18:01.470 --> 00:18:02.769 they looked around and said, well, who's going 00:18:02.769 --> 00:18:06.410 to persecute us now? And so they thought to themselves, 00:18:06.609 --> 00:18:10.009 if we can't suffer at the hands of the state, 00:18:10.210 --> 00:18:12.130 if we're not going to be martyred for our faith 00:18:12.130 --> 00:18:14.569 anymore, we've got to find ways to make ourselves 00:18:14.569 --> 00:18:18.430 suffer. This was a real mindset in the early 00:18:18.430 --> 00:18:21.309 church. We'll find ways to make ourselves suffer. 00:18:21.430 --> 00:18:24.089 So they chose ascetic practices, all kinds of 00:18:24.089 --> 00:18:27.240 forms of bodily suffering. And then it gets sort 00:18:27.240 --> 00:18:30.279 of codified over time. In the late 4th century, 00:18:30.440 --> 00:18:33.420 church fathers like Basil of Caesarea began to 00:18:33.420 --> 00:18:37.460 organize what we call today monasteries, this 00:18:37.460 --> 00:18:39.819 movement of monasticism, which was, by the way, 00:18:39.839 --> 00:18:42.859 a less severe form than hermit life, right? But 00:18:42.859 --> 00:18:46.700 still a way for men and women, both monks and 00:18:46.700 --> 00:18:50.039 nuns, to sacrifice and suffer. So men would break 00:18:50.039 --> 00:18:52.240 away from their local churches. They would go 00:18:52.240 --> 00:18:54.940 and live in a communal system. cut themselves 00:18:54.940 --> 00:18:57.200 off from the world for the purpose of study and 00:18:57.200 --> 00:18:59.680 prayer. They would copy manuscripts. Yes, they 00:18:59.680 --> 00:19:01.819 would care for the sick and the abandoned as 00:19:01.819 --> 00:19:04.339 well, but they were basically cut off from society. 00:19:04.660 --> 00:19:06.400 And then eventually that would move to the West 00:19:06.400 --> 00:19:08.900 as well. Very famous Benedict of Nursia in the 00:19:08.900 --> 00:19:12.099 early 6th century brings monasticism to the West 00:19:12.099 --> 00:19:15.240 as well. Now the question is, in the midst of 00:19:15.240 --> 00:19:17.819 these ascetic practices, what about singleness? 00:19:18.829 --> 00:19:21.250 What about celibacy? Where did that come? Again, 00:19:21.329 --> 00:19:25.049 the idea of voluntary celibacy and remaining 00:19:25.049 --> 00:19:28.410 a virgin for life becomes an honored form of 00:19:28.410 --> 00:19:31.609 practice in the second and third centuries. Some 00:19:31.609 --> 00:19:33.269 of the early church fathers in both the East 00:19:33.269 --> 00:19:36.769 and the West speak of these things as a way to 00:19:36.769 --> 00:19:40.170 fully consecrate yourself to the service of Christ. 00:19:40.490 --> 00:19:42.650 But in the following centuries, the question 00:19:42.650 --> 00:19:46.009 became broader. The question was, should celibacy 00:19:46.009 --> 00:19:49.230 become mandatory? Sure, it can be voluntary. 00:19:49.250 --> 00:19:51.430 If a person wanted to really devote themselves 00:19:51.430 --> 00:19:55.430 to Christ, go for it. Deny yourself. But it has 00:19:55.430 --> 00:19:58.450 to be voluntary. In later centuries, well, maybe 00:19:58.450 --> 00:20:00.890 it should be mandatory, especially for those 00:20:00.890 --> 00:20:04.509 in clergy. And so that question comes up between 00:20:04.509 --> 00:20:06.890 the 7th and 8th centuries in the East, and the 00:20:06.890 --> 00:20:13.339 answer in the East was, well, maybe. A man could 00:20:13.339 --> 00:20:16.700 be ordained as a deacon or priest if he was married. 00:20:16.839 --> 00:20:19.299 So yes, there are married men who do serve in 00:20:19.299 --> 00:20:21.380 the priesthood in the Eastern Orthodox Church. 00:20:21.640 --> 00:20:24.160 But if a single man becomes ordained, he cannot 00:20:24.160 --> 00:20:27.099 marry. And any bishop in the Orthodox Church 00:20:27.099 --> 00:20:31.420 has to be celibate. Then in the West, the Roman 00:20:31.420 --> 00:20:33.819 Catholic Church made celibacy a binding discipline 00:20:33.819 --> 00:20:36.819 for all clergy at the second letter in council 00:20:36.819 --> 00:20:40.529 in the 12th century. So that's the status of 00:20:40.529 --> 00:20:43.349 things today in the other branches of Christendom. 00:20:43.450 --> 00:20:45.509 Now, what did the reformers of the Protestant 00:20:45.509 --> 00:20:48.750 Reformation say about this? And more importantly, 00:20:48.930 --> 00:20:51.549 what does God's word say about it? Well, not 00:20:51.549 --> 00:20:54.009 surprisingly, the reformers who fought the battle 00:20:54.009 --> 00:20:56.809 to return the church back to her proper anchor, 00:20:56.910 --> 00:21:00.289 which is God's word, they were united in condemning 00:21:00.289 --> 00:21:03.990 mandatory singleness and mandatory celibacy. 00:21:04.049 --> 00:21:06.549 Why? Because the scriptures don't call for it. 00:21:08.009 --> 00:21:10.390 In case you wondered, the scriptures don't call 00:21:10.390 --> 00:21:14.589 for mandatory singleness or celibacy. While at 00:21:14.589 --> 00:21:17.369 the same time, they affirm the value of voluntary 00:21:17.369 --> 00:21:20.309 singleness and voluntary celibacy because that 00:21:20.309 --> 00:21:24.490 too is found in the pages of scripture. The fact 00:21:24.490 --> 00:21:26.670 is the New Testament does not prescribe a single 00:21:26.670 --> 00:21:29.930 ascetic lifestyle for all believers, nor does 00:21:29.930 --> 00:21:33.029 it prescribe a unique program for those in positions 00:21:33.029 --> 00:21:36.039 of spiritual authority. Spiritual leaders are 00:21:36.039 --> 00:21:39.240 called to character qualifications in the New 00:21:39.240 --> 00:21:43.140 Testament, right? 1 Timothy 3, Titus 1, 1 Peter 00:21:43.140 --> 00:21:46.779 5. That's what the qualifications are. They're 00:21:46.779 --> 00:21:49.380 character qualifications. They're not some type 00:21:49.380 --> 00:21:52.380 of lifestyle qualifications. Certainly, Scripture 00:21:52.380 --> 00:21:55.019 never calls us to break off all contact with 00:21:55.019 --> 00:21:58.019 society, to live in deserts and caves. How do 00:21:58.019 --> 00:21:59.799 you live out the one another's in Scripture if 00:21:59.799 --> 00:22:02.400 you're living in a cave? That's a challenge, 00:22:02.559 --> 00:22:05.119 right? It also doesn't call us to form ourselves 00:22:05.119 --> 00:22:08.720 into monastic communities. And so we can look 00:22:08.720 --> 00:22:10.920 at church history and we can say, well, we sort 00:22:10.920 --> 00:22:13.299 of understand why these things happen. We can 00:22:13.299 --> 00:22:16.000 even admire the men and women who were so committed 00:22:16.000 --> 00:22:18.359 to the cause of Christ that they would cut themselves 00:22:18.359 --> 00:22:21.039 off in that way. But we should also affirm there 00:22:21.039 --> 00:22:28.180 simply is no biblical mandate for it. Amen? In 00:22:28.180 --> 00:22:31.690 the New Testament, marriage is honored. Sex within 00:22:31.690 --> 00:22:34.009 the covenant of marriage is strongly encouraged, 00:22:34.349 --> 00:22:37.049 and we'll get to that in just a moment. And yet 00:22:37.049 --> 00:22:39.069 the Bible also lists up the idea of voluntary 00:22:39.069 --> 00:22:44.089 self -denial. So yes, there is a place for ascetic 00:22:44.089 --> 00:22:46.970 practices in the church today. You and I should 00:22:46.970 --> 00:22:49.769 be striving after spiritual disciplines in both 00:22:49.769 --> 00:22:53.839 a positive and a negative sense. On the one hand, 00:22:53.839 --> 00:22:56.559 we should be denying certain things that, yes, 00:22:56.559 --> 00:22:58.339 we might have the freedom to do that. Did we 00:22:58.339 --> 00:23:00.680 look at this recently? All things are permissible, 00:23:00.740 --> 00:23:03.500 but not all things are profitable. So there's 00:23:03.500 --> 00:23:06.039 things we have freedom to see as to, but we say 00:23:06.039 --> 00:23:09.279 no to, right? Because we want to avoid temptation. 00:23:09.519 --> 00:23:12.960 We want to practice self -discipline. And then 00:23:12.960 --> 00:23:15.220 on the positive side, we put into practice certain 00:23:15.220 --> 00:23:18.279 disciplines like focused prayer, like fasting, 00:23:18.460 --> 00:23:21.480 like sacrificial service to others because these 00:23:21.480 --> 00:23:23.819 things help us grow in our love for God and our 00:23:23.819 --> 00:23:26.259 love for others. But here's the key. This is 00:23:26.259 --> 00:23:28.279 what you have to understand. And this is where 00:23:28.279 --> 00:23:31.240 we differ from the Roman Catholic Church and 00:23:31.240 --> 00:23:34.519 from Eastern Orthodoxy. We engage in spiritual 00:23:34.519 --> 00:23:38.160 disciplines freely and voluntarily and not as 00:23:38.160 --> 00:23:42.690 a means of earning merit in God's eyes. not adding 00:23:42.690 --> 00:23:47.009 to our salvation. We practice spiritual disciplines 00:23:47.009 --> 00:23:49.630 out of love for Christ, out of devotion to Christ, 00:23:49.710 --> 00:23:52.890 and from a heart of thankfulness for what he's 00:23:52.890 --> 00:23:55.190 done for us. Does that make sense? So we've got 00:23:55.190 --> 00:23:58.410 to find a good balance on this. So back to Corinth 00:23:58.410 --> 00:24:01.049 now. It seems from the opening statement in chapter 00:24:01.049 --> 00:24:03.690 7 that some in the church there were literally 00:24:03.690 --> 00:24:06.869 arguing that singleness and celibacy were a higher 00:24:06.869 --> 00:24:10.740 form of worship. And that everybody should pay 00:24:10.740 --> 00:24:13.200 attention to this. And that they, the celibates, 00:24:13.279 --> 00:24:16.200 they were the elite class of worshipers. The 00:24:16.200 --> 00:24:18.539 ones who said no marriage and no sex whatsoever. 00:24:19.740 --> 00:24:22.660 Wow, it's no doubt there were people in the same 00:24:22.660 --> 00:24:25.480 church banging the drum for marriage. Like, you 00:24:25.480 --> 00:24:28.079 guys should get married. So, what's Paul going 00:24:28.079 --> 00:24:29.660 to say? How's he going to resolve this? Okay, 00:24:29.740 --> 00:24:33.920 let's start up in chapter 7. Let's start by looking 00:24:33.920 --> 00:24:37.779 at singleness in verse 7. Let's start there. 00:24:39.519 --> 00:24:44.279 Here's what Paul writes. I wish that all men 00:24:44.279 --> 00:24:49.480 were even as I myself am. However, each man has 00:24:49.480 --> 00:24:51.920 his own gift from God, one in this manner and 00:24:51.920 --> 00:24:54.680 another in that. So Paul is telling us here that 00:24:54.680 --> 00:24:59.519 he himself is unmarried and celibate. And he 00:24:59.519 --> 00:25:02.059 wishes that all Christians were living as he 00:25:02.059 --> 00:25:04.960 lives. Now there's a reason for that, but first 00:25:04.960 --> 00:25:06.539 let me address the question that always comes 00:25:06.539 --> 00:25:09.130 up. Whenever we talk about Paul and marriage, 00:25:09.390 --> 00:25:12.089 the question is, was Paul always unmarried? He's 00:25:12.089 --> 00:25:15.150 clearly unmarried now. Was he always unmarried, 00:25:15.150 --> 00:25:18.349 or did he at one time have a wife? And the answer 00:25:18.349 --> 00:25:23.400 is, we don't know. And so honestly, it's best 00:25:23.400 --> 00:25:25.380 not to speculate too much on this. I've heard 00:25:25.380 --> 00:25:27.779 all the arguments. I've heard the argument that, 00:25:27.839 --> 00:25:30.079 well, he's an observant Jew. He was a leader 00:25:30.079 --> 00:25:32.680 at the time, so he must have been married. There's 00:25:32.680 --> 00:25:34.940 the argument that, well, he was connected to 00:25:34.940 --> 00:25:37.579 the Pharisee party while he was persecuting the 00:25:37.579 --> 00:25:39.819 church. And as a Pharisee, he must have been 00:25:39.819 --> 00:25:42.420 married. And so then the argument goes, probably 00:25:42.420 --> 00:25:45.500 at some point, he was widowed. And so at the 00:25:45.500 --> 00:25:47.319 time he's writing this letter, he's unmarried. 00:25:47.359 --> 00:25:51.049 Those arguments are historically plausible. but 00:25:51.049 --> 00:25:54.230 they are not biblical proof, okay? They are historically 00:25:54.230 --> 00:25:56.789 plausible, but not biblical proof. What the Bible 00:25:56.789 --> 00:25:59.690 does say and doesn't say is this. There's no 00:25:59.690 --> 00:26:02.009 mention of him having a wife in the book of Acts. 00:26:02.670 --> 00:26:05.329 He doesn't mention his wife in any of his letters, 00:26:05.349 --> 00:26:07.869 and he's clearly stating that he's unmarried 00:26:07.869 --> 00:26:10.289 here in 1 Corinthians. So those are the clear 00:26:10.289 --> 00:26:12.369 and positive statements that we have to go on, 00:26:12.430 --> 00:26:14.410 and we should probably leave it at that. Maybe 00:26:14.410 --> 00:26:16.730 in heaven we'll find that out, right? All right, 00:26:16.750 --> 00:26:19.680 I have an appointment with Paul. on that day. 00:26:20.059 --> 00:26:23.539 He's in my list, my short list. I have questions. 00:26:24.259 --> 00:26:27.059 I know I say that a lot. I can't wait to get 00:26:27.059 --> 00:26:30.000 answers. All right, the big news that comes out 00:26:30.000 --> 00:26:32.200 of this verse is, you ready? In Paul's mind, 00:26:32.319 --> 00:26:34.680 being single and celibate is a very good thing. 00:26:36.539 --> 00:26:38.819 It's a very good thing. It is not unnatural. 00:26:39.799 --> 00:26:43.289 It is not less than God's best. And that's an 00:26:43.289 --> 00:26:45.049 important thing to say because in the church 00:26:45.049 --> 00:26:47.690 today, we have a tendency to look at single people 00:26:47.690 --> 00:26:52.329 and go, what's wrong? And that's unfair and it's 00:26:52.329 --> 00:26:55.410 unbiblical. So be careful. That's not the case. 00:26:55.410 --> 00:26:58.450 From Paul's perspective, remaining single and 00:26:58.450 --> 00:27:00.750 celibate actually has some real practical advantages. 00:27:02.049 --> 00:27:04.289 Namely, that being single gives a man or woman 00:27:04.289 --> 00:27:07.250 more freedom. from the distractions of the world, 00:27:07.269 --> 00:27:09.190 from the entanglements of the world so that they 00:27:09.190 --> 00:27:11.930 can serve Christ and his church more effectively, 00:27:12.150 --> 00:27:15.529 right? They just have more time and energy to 00:27:15.529 --> 00:27:17.289 devote themselves to those things. And that's 00:27:17.289 --> 00:27:19.009 all I'm gonna say about that because this issue 00:27:19.009 --> 00:27:21.150 is gonna come up later in chapter seven where 00:27:21.150 --> 00:27:23.809 he'll expound more on this and also in chapter 00:27:23.809 --> 00:27:26.190 nine. So I'll leave it at that. But it's important 00:27:26.190 --> 00:27:28.069 to see at the end of verse seven that even though 00:27:28.069 --> 00:27:30.930 Paul wishes that everyone were unmarried, he 00:27:30.930 --> 00:27:33.529 doesn't impose that standard on the believers 00:27:33.529 --> 00:27:36.200 in Corinth. He's like, I wish you were like me, 00:27:36.240 --> 00:27:38.799 but I'm not going to impose that standard on 00:27:38.799 --> 00:27:41.640 everybody. That's important. Nowhere in scripture 00:27:41.640 --> 00:27:45.099 is either marriage or singleness a binding ordinance 00:27:45.099 --> 00:27:48.579 upon believers. And it's so important that we 00:27:48.579 --> 00:27:50.339 always distinguish between those two things. 00:27:50.880 --> 00:27:53.319 What is a divine command or a biblical imperative 00:27:53.319 --> 00:27:57.039 versus what is a preference? We have to be very 00:27:57.039 --> 00:27:58.900 careful about that because sometimes we conflate 00:27:58.900 --> 00:28:01.279 those things and we can put unnecessary burdens 00:28:01.279 --> 00:28:04.450 on people. What Paul does here, he obviously 00:28:04.450 --> 00:28:06.910 has a preference, right? He says, I wish everybody 00:28:06.910 --> 00:28:09.690 was like me, but he shows great integrity here 00:28:09.690 --> 00:28:11.950 by not saying, well, because of my preference, 00:28:12.190 --> 00:28:14.029 I'm going to tell you this is a command from 00:28:14.029 --> 00:28:18.210 God. He doesn't do that. And the second half 00:28:18.210 --> 00:28:20.369 of the verse, he recognizes the key to why some 00:28:20.369 --> 00:28:23.410 can remain single and celibate while others need 00:28:23.410 --> 00:28:26.289 to get married is because of God's calling and 00:28:26.289 --> 00:28:29.529 gifting. That's important. God calls and gifts 00:28:29.529 --> 00:28:32.920 people with different capacities. according to 00:28:32.920 --> 00:28:36.700 his sovereign wisdom. It's as if Paul is saying, 00:28:36.759 --> 00:28:40.119 look, I don't need to be married. I don't need 00:28:40.119 --> 00:28:43.279 it, and I'm not consumed by thoughts of marriage 00:28:43.279 --> 00:28:46.759 or consumed by lust, and I wish more of you were 00:28:46.759 --> 00:28:49.740 like me, but I also know that my situation is 00:28:49.740 --> 00:28:52.500 a special gift from God, and most of you don't 00:28:52.500 --> 00:28:56.740 have it. Does that make sense? That's basically 00:28:56.740 --> 00:28:58.759 what he's saying. That's really what this is. 00:28:59.440 --> 00:29:02.519 Singleness is a calling from God. To live a single 00:29:02.519 --> 00:29:05.680 life and to have a strong equipping from the 00:29:05.680 --> 00:29:08.839 Holy Spirit for self -control and discipline 00:29:08.839 --> 00:29:13.160 in the area of sexual expression. Not only that, 00:29:13.240 --> 00:29:15.559 but to desire and enjoy that kind of lifestyle 00:29:15.559 --> 00:29:19.599 so that you can focus on serving Christ and his 00:29:19.599 --> 00:29:22.559 church. So it's the equipping and the gift not 00:29:22.559 --> 00:29:24.559 to struggle in this area, but also the desire 00:29:24.559 --> 00:29:26.740 to say, you know what, I see this as a great 00:29:26.740 --> 00:29:28.900 gift from God so that I can devote more of my 00:29:28.900 --> 00:29:33.039 time and energy. to serve my Savior. And so each 00:29:33.039 --> 00:29:36.460 man and each woman has his or her own gift and 00:29:36.460 --> 00:29:40.640 calling. And some, we live out his gifts and 00:29:40.640 --> 00:29:43.059 calling through marriage and others through singleness. 00:29:43.299 --> 00:29:46.079 And both of those two callings have advantages. 00:29:46.920 --> 00:29:49.640 And both of those two callings have disadvantages. 00:29:50.740 --> 00:29:53.460 Right? But they're unique from God. So the important 00:29:53.460 --> 00:29:55.000 thing to recognize from this statement, number 00:29:55.000 --> 00:29:58.059 one, single and celibate is good and right for 00:29:58.059 --> 00:30:00.880 some in the church. But also number two, being 00:30:00.880 --> 00:30:03.220 single and celibate is not spiritually better 00:30:03.220 --> 00:30:06.380 than being married. It's just a different gifting 00:30:06.380 --> 00:30:09.160 and calling. So what Paul's doing here, if you 00:30:09.160 --> 00:30:12.059 look at it, if the celibates in the Corinthian 00:30:12.059 --> 00:30:14.940 church wrote this question, he's chopping down 00:30:14.940 --> 00:30:17.599 their pride here and letting them know this is 00:30:17.599 --> 00:30:19.740 not a binding ordinance and you're not superior 00:30:19.740 --> 00:30:23.420 to those who went out and got married. Good? 00:30:23.819 --> 00:30:25.839 All right, let's go back to the top of the passage 00:30:25.839 --> 00:30:31.359 now, back to the middle of verse one. And again, 00:30:31.420 --> 00:30:32.960 some of you have a translation with quotation 00:30:32.960 --> 00:30:36.220 marks there. It's good for a man not to touch 00:30:36.220 --> 00:30:38.980 a woman. Obviously, that is a euphemism for sexual 00:30:38.980 --> 00:30:43.440 relations, right? Verse two says, but because 00:30:43.440 --> 00:30:47.819 of pornia, sexual immoralities, each man is to 00:30:47.819 --> 00:30:52.920 have his own wife. Yay. And each woman is to 00:30:52.920 --> 00:30:58.839 have her own husband. Yay. I mean, that sounds 00:30:58.839 --> 00:31:01.980 like a really good arrangement. So clearly marriage 00:31:01.980 --> 00:31:04.839 is upheld here as another of God's good options, 00:31:05.180 --> 00:31:09.859 right? A second option. And in fact, when you 00:31:09.859 --> 00:31:12.240 see Paul say, I wish more were like me, it tells 00:31:12.240 --> 00:31:15.039 me something that marriage is probably the norm 00:31:15.039 --> 00:31:17.519 because he's saying, I wish more were like me. 00:31:17.799 --> 00:31:19.880 So marriage is going to be the norm. It's still 00:31:19.880 --> 00:31:22.619 the norm in the Christian church today, right? 00:31:22.920 --> 00:31:25.160 And you can see why it's the norm there in verse 00:31:25.160 --> 00:31:27.279 two, because sexual immorality is all around 00:31:27.279 --> 00:31:30.940 us. Temptations are everywhere. Being unmarried 00:31:30.940 --> 00:31:34.599 in a world like ours today or in first century 00:31:34.599 --> 00:31:37.779 Corinth is not easy because you're surrounded 00:31:37.779 --> 00:31:41.160 by this sexualized culture. And so Paul says, 00:31:41.339 --> 00:31:44.500 okay, yeah, that's a reality we live in. So each 00:31:44.500 --> 00:31:47.000 man should have a wife and each woman should 00:31:47.000 --> 00:31:50.259 have a husband. Now, some of you know that here 00:31:50.259 --> 00:31:53.279 at Oak Hill, a couple times a year, we host a 00:31:53.279 --> 00:31:56.829 marriage workshop called Heartwood. And in that 00:31:56.829 --> 00:31:59.710 small group, we talk about God's three purposes 00:31:59.710 --> 00:32:01.890 for marriage that go all the way back to Genesis 00:32:01.890 --> 00:32:05.509 1 and 2. One of them is specifically related 00:32:05.509 --> 00:32:08.509 to what we're reading in 1 Corinthians 7. But 00:32:08.509 --> 00:32:12.349 the first one is partnership, right? The first 00:32:12.349 --> 00:32:14.809 great purpose that God has in marriage is partnership. 00:32:14.890 --> 00:32:17.670 This goes back to when God says, look, he looks 00:32:17.670 --> 00:32:19.769 down at Adam and says, you know what? If you're 00:32:19.769 --> 00:32:21.589 going to fulfill your mission, it's not good 00:32:21.589 --> 00:32:28.240 that you're alone. partner, helper who will correspond 00:32:28.240 --> 00:32:30.880 to you. God brings them together and he says, 00:32:30.960 --> 00:32:34.279 look, one flesh, right? I don't have time for 00:32:34.279 --> 00:32:37.559 a whole marriage sermon, wedding sermon. I've 00:32:37.559 --> 00:32:39.759 done that one too many times. So marriage was 00:32:39.759 --> 00:32:42.240 designed by God as this one flesh partnership 00:32:42.240 --> 00:32:45.500 of male and female, two people who correspond 00:32:45.500 --> 00:32:48.279 to each other, who are committed to the other, 00:32:48.339 --> 00:32:50.759 and they're committed to a common set of goals, 00:32:50.980 --> 00:32:53.880 relationship and companionship. And listen, if 00:32:53.880 --> 00:32:56.220 you are married to your best friend, You know 00:32:56.220 --> 00:32:58.640 how important this partnership one is. The idea 00:32:58.640 --> 00:33:01.279 that we can walk through life in such an intimate 00:33:01.279 --> 00:33:04.440 way with our best friend is invaluable. It is 00:33:04.440 --> 00:33:07.500 an amazing gift from God. So that's the first 00:33:07.500 --> 00:33:10.640 one. The second one is procreation. I won't spend 00:33:10.640 --> 00:33:12.700 a lot of time on this because we all don't need 00:33:12.700 --> 00:33:15.980 a whole lesson on the birds and the bees. But 00:33:15.980 --> 00:33:20.660 know this, in Malachi 2, very interesting passage. 00:33:21.339 --> 00:33:24.200 God is rebuking Israel for their covenant unfaithfulness 00:33:24.200 --> 00:33:27.680 in marriage. And in this passage, he declares 00:33:27.680 --> 00:33:31.440 his desire for godly offspring. It's a really 00:33:31.440 --> 00:33:34.019 important passage. Basically meaning that believing 00:33:34.019 --> 00:33:36.579 couples should have children and train them up 00:33:36.579 --> 00:33:39.779 in the ways of the Lord in order to raise and 00:33:39.779 --> 00:33:42.940 preserve future generations of believers. God 00:33:42.940 --> 00:33:45.920 works through family lines oftentimes. And so 00:33:45.920 --> 00:33:48.319 procreation is an important part of God's purposes. 00:33:49.240 --> 00:33:51.140 Now the third one, and this is the important 00:33:51.140 --> 00:33:53.519 one for our passage today, that is protection. 00:33:55.400 --> 00:33:58.819 God designed marriage for protection. As Paul 00:33:58.819 --> 00:34:01.099 tells us, marriage is given to us in part as 00:34:01.099 --> 00:34:05.720 a way to avoid falling into sexual sin and dishonoring 00:34:05.720 --> 00:34:09.219 our bodies. And we saw this last Sunday, right? 00:34:09.280 --> 00:34:11.679 If you're a Christian, when you engage in porneia, 00:34:11.820 --> 00:34:14.119 you are sinning against your own body and you 00:34:14.119 --> 00:34:18.039 are dragging Jesus into it. Because your body 00:34:18.039 --> 00:34:20.360 now belongs to him. On the cross, he purchased 00:34:20.360 --> 00:34:23.079 you at a costly price, and he made your body 00:34:23.079 --> 00:34:27.920 a temple of the Holy Spirit. And in that, you 00:34:27.920 --> 00:34:30.039 see how marriage has a protective element to 00:34:30.039 --> 00:34:33.199 it. Paul says, because of sexual temptations, 00:34:33.199 --> 00:34:36.860 a man can be married and turn to his wife for 00:34:36.860 --> 00:34:39.500 sexual satisfaction, and a woman can turn to 00:34:39.500 --> 00:34:42.420 her husband for sexual satisfaction. There's 00:34:42.420 --> 00:34:45.250 a protective aspect to it. It's not like I have 00:34:45.250 --> 00:34:47.989 to wander through this life, sexualized culture, 00:34:48.090 --> 00:34:50.809 and have no sexual outlet because I have a wife, 00:34:50.869 --> 00:34:53.429 because I have a husband, right? It's really 00:34:53.429 --> 00:34:55.909 a very simple design, but very effective in terms 00:34:55.909 --> 00:34:59.130 of protection. Now, we've got to look at verses 00:34:59.130 --> 00:35:03.230 3 and 4, okay? This is where it gets really interesting. 00:35:03.349 --> 00:35:05.170 Honestly, verses 3 and 4, this is where we get 00:35:05.170 --> 00:35:07.409 one of the biggest cultural shocks in the biblical 00:35:07.409 --> 00:35:11.280 text. This is really quite shocking. Verse 3 00:35:11.280 --> 00:35:14.099 says the husband must fulfill his marital duty 00:35:14.099 --> 00:35:20.019 to his wife. Hmm. A wife has needs. Husband, 00:35:20.079 --> 00:35:23.440 get to it. Interesting. And likewise also the 00:35:23.440 --> 00:35:25.940 wife to her husband. We kind of know, we tend 00:35:25.940 --> 00:35:30.400 to know that one. Right? Verse 4, the wife does 00:35:30.400 --> 00:35:32.460 not have authority over her own body, but the 00:35:32.460 --> 00:35:34.440 husband does. Man, in the ancient world they'd 00:35:34.440 --> 00:35:38.789 be going, amen. But likewise, the husband does 00:35:38.789 --> 00:35:41.610 not have authority over his own body, but the 00:35:41.610 --> 00:35:45.550 wife does. Wow. So there's this threefold parallel 00:35:45.550 --> 00:35:48.949 structure in verses 2 to 4 that comes with, wait 00:35:48.949 --> 00:35:53.210 for it, mutual obligations. Mutual obligations 00:35:53.210 --> 00:35:58.150 in marriage and sexuality. Each man should have 00:35:58.150 --> 00:36:01.250 a wife. Each woman should have her own husband. 00:36:01.429 --> 00:36:04.349 The husband should fulfill his duty to his wife 00:36:04.349 --> 00:36:06.469 and the wife to the husband. And the husband 00:36:06.469 --> 00:36:08.949 has authority over his wife's body and the wife 00:36:08.949 --> 00:36:12.010 has authority over his body. Guys, you cannot, 00:36:12.170 --> 00:36:14.409 I gave you all that background about marriage 00:36:14.409 --> 00:36:16.309 and sex in the ancient world for a reason. You 00:36:16.309 --> 00:36:19.590 cannot understand what a, I'll call it a cultural 00:36:19.590 --> 00:36:22.929 missile that Paul is firing at the Greco -Roman 00:36:22.929 --> 00:36:25.670 world in writing out these mutual obligations. 00:36:26.170 --> 00:36:29.360 This would have been shocking. To a Greco -Roman 00:36:29.360 --> 00:36:34.099 man. Mutual authority, mutual submission of the 00:36:34.099 --> 00:36:36.440 husband and wife in marriage. What they would 00:36:36.440 --> 00:36:38.980 have expected to hear was this. Yes, the husband 00:36:38.980 --> 00:36:42.679 has authority over his wife's body, period. And 00:36:42.679 --> 00:36:44.780 that the wife's role is to satisfy her husband 00:36:44.780 --> 00:36:47.199 and the husband's role is to be satisfied by 00:36:47.199 --> 00:36:50.820 his wife. That's what they thought. That's what 00:36:50.820 --> 00:36:53.920 they wanted to hear. But Paul says, no, that's 00:36:53.920 --> 00:36:56.360 not the way it works among Christians. It's not 00:36:56.360 --> 00:36:58.679 to be like that. Among you, you're to be set 00:36:58.679 --> 00:37:01.159 apart from the world. In Christ, both husband 00:37:01.159 --> 00:37:04.619 and wife subordinate their own interests to the 00:37:04.619 --> 00:37:08.760 interests of the other. Shocking stuff. Revolutionary 00:37:08.760 --> 00:37:11.260 way of viewing marriage and sex. But notice, 00:37:11.300 --> 00:37:13.280 that's just a plain biblical principle, isn't 00:37:13.280 --> 00:37:16.880 it? We sometimes forget that the Bible, the New 00:37:16.880 --> 00:37:19.460 Testament is written to couples as brother and 00:37:19.460 --> 00:37:22.619 sister in Christ. You know that, right? Yes, 00:37:22.619 --> 00:37:24.139 we're one flesh, but we're still brother and 00:37:24.139 --> 00:37:26.139 sister in Christ. Well, what does Philippians 00:37:26.139 --> 00:37:30.860 2 say? Do nothing from selfishness, right? But 00:37:30.860 --> 00:37:32.960 with humility of mind, regard one another as 00:37:32.960 --> 00:37:35.699 more important than yourselves. Don't just look 00:37:35.699 --> 00:37:37.539 out for your own interests, but also for the 00:37:37.539 --> 00:37:40.340 interests of others. Well, that applies to marriage 00:37:40.340 --> 00:37:44.539 and applies to sexuality within marriage. The 00:37:44.539 --> 00:37:46.360 implication in verses three and four is that 00:37:46.360 --> 00:37:48.860 husbands and wives should always seek to satisfy 00:37:48.860 --> 00:37:52.239 each other sexually so that their eyes and hearts 00:37:52.239 --> 00:37:56.429 have no need to look elsewhere. Satisfy your 00:37:56.429 --> 00:37:59.550 spouse sexually so that they won't have to roam 00:37:59.550 --> 00:38:03.230 and fall into adultery. Neither has the authority 00:38:03.230 --> 00:38:06.449 to deprive the other sexually. You are one flesh. 00:38:06.570 --> 00:38:10.550 Your bodies are surrendered to each other. That 00:38:10.550 --> 00:38:12.650 means both husband and wife should view sex as 00:38:12.650 --> 00:38:16.719 a joyful obligation to their spouse. A joyful 00:38:16.719 --> 00:38:19.159 obligation. They should approach it with eagerness 00:38:19.159 --> 00:38:21.760 and excitement, and both husband and wife should 00:38:21.760 --> 00:38:24.360 prioritize bringing pleasure and satisfaction 00:38:24.360 --> 00:38:28.739 to their partner. Both. It's not just for the 00:38:28.739 --> 00:38:32.659 guy, right? Both. Yes, sex and marriage is given 00:38:32.659 --> 00:38:38.960 to us for pleasure. I was wondering if I was 00:38:38.960 --> 00:38:41.559 going to get an amen there. It's a gift from 00:38:41.559 --> 00:38:44.789 God. for our pleasure within the boundaries of 00:38:44.789 --> 00:38:47.269 covenant marriage. And we shouldn't be afraid 00:38:47.269 --> 00:38:49.170 of that, and we should guard against coming to 00:38:49.170 --> 00:38:52.969 the conclusion that sex is dirty, which I know 00:38:52.969 --> 00:38:54.929 sometimes in conservative Christian homes, we 00:38:54.929 --> 00:38:56.949 get raised with that, right? Our parents are 00:38:56.949 --> 00:38:58.690 constantly telling us it's wrong, wrong, dirty, 00:38:58.889 --> 00:39:01.510 dirty. And then at the wedding altar, we have 00:39:01.510 --> 00:39:06.590 to flip a switch, which is hard. It's difficult. 00:39:07.179 --> 00:39:09.380 So we should think carefully about this and make 00:39:09.380 --> 00:39:12.199 sure we see it as a gift from God for our pleasure. 00:39:12.320 --> 00:39:17.300 Have you read the Song of Songs? The beauty and 00:39:17.300 --> 00:39:21.639 the pleasure of sex. And again, shockingly, from 00:39:21.639 --> 00:39:23.699 both the perspective of the man and the woman. 00:39:24.059 --> 00:39:26.690 It's not just what the guy sees and thinks. but 00:39:26.690 --> 00:39:29.349 the woman as well. We heard from Proverbs 5 in 00:39:29.349 --> 00:39:32.190 our call to worship earlier, right? Very poetic 00:39:32.190 --> 00:39:35.090 terms about the joy of sex. And my favorite line 00:39:35.090 --> 00:39:38.289 from that, it's Proverbs 5, 19. It says to the 00:39:38.289 --> 00:39:42.030 husband, be intoxicated always in your wife's 00:39:42.030 --> 00:39:45.969 love. Man, imagine if that was your focus, husbands, 00:39:46.050 --> 00:39:48.489 as you woke up every morning. I want to be intoxicated 00:39:48.489 --> 00:39:52.469 in my wife's love. On the flip side, if we ignore 00:39:52.469 --> 00:39:55.099 what God says about sex, and we choose instead 00:39:55.099 --> 00:39:59.519 to be selfish about it, we're going to reap what 00:39:59.519 --> 00:40:01.699 we sow, and that is an unfulfilled marriage. 00:40:02.780 --> 00:40:05.099 And where does that lead us to? It leads us into 00:40:05.099 --> 00:40:08.840 danger. Unfulfilled marriages sexually lead us 00:40:08.840 --> 00:40:13.099 into temptation. It weakens the protective aspect 00:40:13.099 --> 00:40:15.840 of God's gift of marriage. It leaves the door 00:40:15.840 --> 00:40:18.679 open to immorality. So if you truly love your 00:40:18.679 --> 00:40:21.340 spouse, you would never intentionally put them 00:40:21.340 --> 00:40:24.400 in a place of vulnerability. Out of your own 00:40:24.400 --> 00:40:29.719 selfishness, right? Think about that. And if 00:40:29.719 --> 00:40:31.639 you say, of course not, well then trust God with 00:40:31.639 --> 00:40:34.960 what he says here. In recent messages on this 00:40:34.960 --> 00:40:37.079 topic, we've been talking about how God defines 00:40:37.079 --> 00:40:39.420 sex as more than just physical, right? There's 00:40:39.420 --> 00:40:42.079 this deep emotional and spiritual bond that happens 00:40:42.079 --> 00:40:44.639 when two become one flesh. And as Christians, 00:40:44.719 --> 00:40:47.059 we should be free to embrace that, enjoy that. 00:40:47.340 --> 00:40:50.420 In fact, author Stuart Babbage puts it so beautifully. 00:40:50.599 --> 00:40:52.380 Look at, oh man, I'm way behind. Look at this 00:40:52.380 --> 00:40:55.570 quote. He says, from one point of view, it may 00:40:55.570 --> 00:40:59.150 be spoken of as a safety valve for irresistible 00:40:59.150 --> 00:41:02.210 desire, but for the Christian man, the sexual 00:41:02.210 --> 00:41:05.349 life is infinitely more than that. It is a breathtaking 00:41:05.349 --> 00:41:09.170 experience, a bold and blessed intoxication. 00:41:10.329 --> 00:41:14.570 Wow. Is that the way you see your sexual relationship 00:41:14.570 --> 00:41:18.809 with your wife, with your husband? So first we 00:41:18.809 --> 00:41:20.929 affirm that sex is a gift from God. By the way, 00:41:20.929 --> 00:41:22.739 there's... There's so many more things I could 00:41:22.739 --> 00:41:26.699 say about this. I'm running out of time. But 00:41:26.699 --> 00:41:28.780 there's so many more, so many important nuances 00:41:28.780 --> 00:41:29.940 that we could talk about. I'm just going to give 00:41:29.940 --> 00:41:32.559 you a few rapid fire ones to sort of help you 00:41:32.559 --> 00:41:35.199 with this. So first one is this. We affirm that 00:41:35.199 --> 00:41:37.960 sex is a gift from God. And because it's a gift 00:41:37.960 --> 00:41:42.159 from God, it has to be handled carefully. It 00:41:42.159 --> 00:41:46.019 has to be expressed in love. That means care. 00:41:46.400 --> 00:41:50.980 That means respect. That means sensitivity. We 00:41:50.980 --> 00:41:54.940 call it making love for a reason. If love is 00:41:54.940 --> 00:41:56.960 missing, you're doing it wrong. If it's just 00:41:56.960 --> 00:41:59.519 a purely physical thing and your spouse's body 00:41:59.519 --> 00:42:02.300 is just an object to be used, you're doing it 00:42:02.300 --> 00:42:08.380 wrong. Amen? Second thing, please don't use Paul's 00:42:08.380 --> 00:42:10.880 teaching here as a weapon that you can pick up 00:42:10.880 --> 00:42:15.179 and wield against your spouse. Don't use it as 00:42:15.179 --> 00:42:19.110 a demand for sex anytime you feel like it. Just 00:42:19.110 --> 00:42:21.869 forcing that upon your spouse without care or 00:42:21.869 --> 00:42:25.869 concern for where your spouse is at. We talk 00:42:25.869 --> 00:42:27.969 about in Heartwood how you have to constantly 00:42:27.969 --> 00:42:31.929 be a student of your spouse. Become more and 00:42:31.929 --> 00:42:34.809 more attuned over the years to one another's 00:42:34.809 --> 00:42:39.010 unique cycles and needs and growing and understanding 00:42:39.010 --> 00:42:41.289 them better so that you don't have to get to 00:42:41.289 --> 00:42:44.179 this place where I'm demanding things. Also, 00:42:44.699 --> 00:42:47.119 don't use Paul's words here as a way to justify 00:42:47.119 --> 00:42:51.000 putting off sex with your spouse. I've heard 00:42:51.000 --> 00:42:53.159 people claim, well, look, I've got all these 00:42:53.159 --> 00:42:55.360 spiritual concerns going on in my life, and I 00:42:55.360 --> 00:42:58.380 really do need to pray a lot more, so I'm going 00:42:58.380 --> 00:43:02.440 to put off the sex. Don't use that as a weapon. 00:43:02.460 --> 00:43:06.960 That is manipulative. Third thing, when it comes 00:43:06.960 --> 00:43:11.420 to sex, communicate, communicate, communicate. 00:43:12.829 --> 00:43:16.389 Husbands and wives need to talk about their needs. 00:43:16.530 --> 00:43:20.030 Talk about their struggles. Yes, talk about the 00:43:20.030 --> 00:43:24.530 issue of frequency. Consider planning out your 00:43:24.530 --> 00:43:27.329 sex life if you have to so that you're not relying 00:43:27.329 --> 00:43:32.510 on spontaneity that doesn't always happen. You're 00:43:32.510 --> 00:43:35.010 one flesh. Open up to each other. Share what's 00:43:35.010 --> 00:43:37.030 going on in your heart. Share what's happening 00:43:37.030 --> 00:43:39.550 with your body. This is your closest friend, 00:43:39.650 --> 00:43:43.039 your one flesh partner. Open up. Have time to 00:43:43.039 --> 00:43:46.380 share with one another. Fourth thing, keep working 00:43:46.380 --> 00:43:50.019 at being attractive to your spouse. That means 00:43:50.019 --> 00:43:56.099 flirting. You can flirt with your spouse. That 00:43:56.099 --> 00:44:00.280 means sharing kind words, compliments of one 00:44:00.280 --> 00:44:02.400 another. That means romance, date nights. That 00:44:02.400 --> 00:44:04.800 means taking care of your body. Those things 00:44:04.800 --> 00:44:08.519 don't end just because you got married. Stay 00:44:08.519 --> 00:44:11.519 physically attractive to your spouse. Fifth, 00:44:11.639 --> 00:44:14.059 realize that the overall quality of your relationship 00:44:14.059 --> 00:44:16.940 is a huge contributing factor to your sex life. 00:44:17.840 --> 00:44:20.199 If a husband and wife aren't biblically healthy, 00:44:20.420 --> 00:44:23.199 if they're disconnected, if they're not communicating 00:44:23.199 --> 00:44:26.980 well, if they're living independently, then any 00:44:26.980 --> 00:44:28.900 sex that does happen is going to feel like a 00:44:28.900 --> 00:44:31.719 chore. It's not going to feel like joy. And worse, 00:44:31.760 --> 00:44:34.000 if there's unresolved anger or bitterness or 00:44:34.000 --> 00:44:36.360 resentment or hurt feelings in the relationship, 00:44:36.800 --> 00:44:39.880 sex is probably off the table. And again, that 00:44:39.880 --> 00:44:43.880 puts both of you in a dangerous place. So focus 00:44:43.880 --> 00:44:46.139 on getting spiritually healthy and you will see 00:44:46.139 --> 00:44:50.300 your sex life begin to improve. And then finally, 00:44:50.420 --> 00:44:54.139 don't be embarrassed to ask for help. Don't be 00:44:54.139 --> 00:44:56.639 embarrassed. This is a tricky issue. It's more 00:44:56.639 --> 00:44:59.599 complex and trickier than most people think. 00:44:59.840 --> 00:45:02.159 So if you're struggling, don't stay silent and 00:45:02.159 --> 00:45:05.079 just sin against each other. Come to a trusted 00:45:05.079 --> 00:45:07.460 friend, come to an elder, come to a member of 00:45:07.460 --> 00:45:10.880 our women's council. and ask for help. Amen? 00:45:12.300 --> 00:45:13.960 All right, I gotta wrap up. Look at verse five. 00:45:18.219 --> 00:45:20.920 Stop depriving one another, except by agreement 00:45:20.920 --> 00:45:23.280 for a time, so that you may devote yourselves 00:45:23.280 --> 00:45:25.360 to prayer and then come together again so that 00:45:25.360 --> 00:45:27.559 Satan will not tempt you because of your lack 00:45:27.559 --> 00:45:30.300 of self -control. But this I say by way of concession, 00:45:30.320 --> 00:45:34.440 not of command. Now notice, present imperative 00:45:34.440 --> 00:45:37.739 here. Stop doing this. Stop depriving yourself. 00:45:38.019 --> 00:45:40.360 He's basically telling us that the celibates 00:45:40.360 --> 00:45:42.260 in the church in Corinth are doing this. He's 00:45:42.260 --> 00:45:46.199 like, stop it. He's rebuking them here. Notice 00:45:46.199 --> 00:45:47.840 at the end of verse six, again, that Paul's not 00:45:47.840 --> 00:45:50.400 claiming this as a divine command from God, but 00:45:50.400 --> 00:45:53.840 something he views as a concession, an application 00:45:53.840 --> 00:45:56.880 of wisdom. If a husband and wife are not engaging 00:45:56.880 --> 00:45:59.659 in regular sexual activity, there should be, 00:45:59.820 --> 00:46:02.599 wait for it, important ground rules in place. 00:46:03.440 --> 00:46:06.019 If a couple's not having sex regularly, there 00:46:06.019 --> 00:46:07.860 should be some important ground rules. Number 00:46:07.860 --> 00:46:12.480 one, it should be by mutual agreement. You shouldn't 00:46:12.480 --> 00:46:16.119 have just one spouse going no. It should be agreed 00:46:16.119 --> 00:46:19.199 upon. That's number one. Number two, it should 00:46:19.199 --> 00:46:22.139 only be for a time, and I would say a set time, 00:46:22.239 --> 00:46:25.139 not indefinitely, not left open -ended, well, 00:46:25.219 --> 00:46:27.039 I'll let you know when I feel like it again, 00:46:27.219 --> 00:46:30.960 but a set time. Number three, it should be for 00:46:30.960 --> 00:46:35.019 spiritual purposes. like prayer. Basically, it's 00:46:35.019 --> 00:46:38.119 an agreed upon fast from sex because of some 00:46:38.119 --> 00:46:41.219 burden or obligation that for a time takes a 00:46:41.219 --> 00:46:42.820 priority in your life. You're going to focus 00:46:42.820 --> 00:46:46.300 your energies on that and not on sexual relations. 00:46:46.940 --> 00:46:49.099 And finally, number four, that you recognize 00:46:49.099 --> 00:46:52.699 that when you choose to abstain for a time, you 00:46:52.699 --> 00:46:55.639 are opening yourself up to the temptations of 00:46:55.639 --> 00:46:58.619 the enemy. You've got to be aware of that. You've 00:46:58.619 --> 00:47:01.099 got to be aware of that. How the enemy loves 00:47:01.099 --> 00:47:03.639 to establish a wedge between husbands and wives 00:47:03.639 --> 00:47:06.619 in the church. Man, what a victory for him that 00:47:06.619 --> 00:47:09.119 is. He knows that a couple who's struggling in 00:47:09.119 --> 00:47:13.780 the area of sex is a weakened target. They become 00:47:13.780 --> 00:47:15.900 more susceptible to adultery, more susceptible 00:47:15.900 --> 00:47:20.019 to pornography. So if we're in a season of deprivation 00:47:20.019 --> 00:47:23.039 in this area, both husband and wife have to be 00:47:23.039 --> 00:47:25.519 on alert. Yeah, we're doing this for a specific 00:47:25.519 --> 00:47:29.579 reason, but we're on alert. Because we know we're 00:47:29.579 --> 00:47:32.300 weakened in that place. And then we come together 00:47:32.300 --> 00:47:35.019 as soon as possible to reestablish that protective 00:47:35.019 --> 00:47:39.340 aspect of marriage. Amen? Listen, I have to end 00:47:39.340 --> 00:47:41.619 it there. But again, a lot more could be said. 00:47:41.699 --> 00:47:43.260 For now, let me just challenge you. Whatever 00:47:43.260 --> 00:47:46.280 stage of life you're in, as we close. Singles. 00:47:47.219 --> 00:47:50.739 Singles, read this chapter on your own. Meditate 00:47:50.739 --> 00:47:53.239 on this chapter. Take it before the Lord in prayer. 00:47:53.739 --> 00:47:56.460 Flesh out your heart before him. Be honest before 00:47:56.460 --> 00:48:00.420 God. Lord, are you calling me to this? I'm discontent. 00:48:00.780 --> 00:48:03.679 Whatever's going on, singles, take it before 00:48:03.679 --> 00:48:06.260 the Lord. Consider sharing maybe with a trusted 00:48:06.260 --> 00:48:08.780 friend how you feel about your singleness, whether 00:48:08.780 --> 00:48:11.179 you think it's a calling from God or is it something 00:48:11.179 --> 00:48:14.780 else. Don't ignore it. Don't ignore it. Take 00:48:14.780 --> 00:48:17.199 it to the Lord. Talk to your friends in the body 00:48:17.199 --> 00:48:21.079 of Christ. To the married, there's a whole lot 00:48:21.079 --> 00:48:24.239 here that you can and should discuss together. 00:48:25.039 --> 00:48:27.969 And I would strongly... encourage you to set 00:48:27.969 --> 00:48:32.289 up a time today, tomorrow, this week, without 00:48:32.289 --> 00:48:35.250 distractions, and just check in on each other 00:48:35.250 --> 00:48:38.650 on the area of your sexual life. It's always 00:48:38.650 --> 00:48:41.349 a good thing to do a checkup, right? And to talk 00:48:41.349 --> 00:48:43.909 it through. Share your hearts openly and honestly. 00:48:44.070 --> 00:48:46.469 Share your bodies with one another afterwards. 00:48:47.230 --> 00:48:50.050 There's nothing better to get your marriage back 00:48:50.050 --> 00:48:53.269 on track than to come back together in sexual 00:48:53.269 --> 00:48:57.699 activity. So, have a discussion. Speak honestly. 00:48:57.880 --> 00:49:06.039 You're one flesh. Right, couples? Okay. Let's 00:49:06.039 --> 00:49:14.239 pray together. Father, I thank you for the practical 00:49:14.239 --> 00:49:18.960 nature of your word. In your sovereign purposes, 00:49:19.139 --> 00:49:24.119 Lord, you brought about a letter from... these 00:49:24.119 --> 00:49:27.119 sinners in Corinth to Paul to address these issues. 00:49:27.500 --> 00:49:30.719 And 2 ,000 years later, here we are learning 00:49:30.719 --> 00:49:33.800 from it, Lord. So thank you for your wisdom in 00:49:33.800 --> 00:49:35.559 teaching us these things. And these are hard 00:49:35.559 --> 00:49:40.119 things, God. We admit that. Hard for me. Hard 00:49:40.119 --> 00:49:44.019 for all of us. These are sensitive areas. These 00:49:44.019 --> 00:49:47.019 are vulnerable areas. And we struggle so much 00:49:47.019 --> 00:49:49.260 in this culture that we live in. So, Lord, my 00:49:49.260 --> 00:49:52.710 prayer for myself, for my wife, for... For those 00:49:52.710 --> 00:49:54.510 in the audience here today, for our singles, 00:49:54.750 --> 00:49:57.269 my prayer is, Lord, that you would speak to our 00:49:57.269 --> 00:50:00.110 hearts about the deep truths of this passage, 00:50:00.150 --> 00:50:03.949 that we would be open to spending time with you 00:50:03.949 --> 00:50:06.949 by the Spirit, to pray through these things, 00:50:07.070 --> 00:50:09.889 and to open up our hearts and minds to you and 00:50:09.889 --> 00:50:11.969 then to others in the body, that these things 00:50:11.969 --> 00:50:14.449 would not be issues that we hide under the carpet. 00:50:14.829 --> 00:50:17.130 but they would come into the light and we would 00:50:17.130 --> 00:50:19.949 talk well about them and seek after truth. So 00:50:19.949 --> 00:50:22.010 help us to do that, Lord, because sometimes we're 00:50:22.010 --> 00:50:24.349 just not good at this. We need you to carry us 00:50:24.349 --> 00:50:26.469 through. So again, thank you for our time together 00:50:26.469 --> 00:50:29.409 this morning. Be glorified in us as we sing praises 00:50:29.409 --> 00:50:31.730 to your name. In Christ's name we pray, amen.