WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:02.700 You are ambassadors for Christ. Did you know 00:00:02.700 --> 00:00:06.120 that? That's what Paul said to the Corinthian 00:00:06.120 --> 00:00:09.000 church way back in the first century. Wherever 00:00:09.000 --> 00:00:11.599 you go in this world, you represent the truth 00:00:11.599 --> 00:00:15.839 of God's word, he said. Let me say that again. 00:00:15.919 --> 00:00:17.760 Wherever you go in this world, you represent 00:00:17.760 --> 00:00:22.120 the truth of God's word. That is true of us today. 00:00:22.260 --> 00:00:25.300 Whether we're consciously aware of it as we sort 00:00:25.300 --> 00:00:28.059 of stumble into our day, that is true of us. 00:00:28.809 --> 00:00:30.429 And it's a biblical truth that we should not 00:00:30.429 --> 00:00:33.689 take lightly, something that we should intentionally 00:00:33.689 --> 00:00:36.090 try to keep in the forefront of our thinking, 00:00:36.210 --> 00:00:39.530 that we are walking models of what it means to 00:00:39.530 --> 00:00:43.469 know Jesus as Savior and Lord. Paul puts it this 00:00:43.469 --> 00:00:45.909 way, it's as though God himself were making an 00:00:45.909 --> 00:00:52.750 appeal through you. Through us, he is appealing 00:00:52.750 --> 00:00:57.399 to the people around us. to become as we are, 00:00:57.460 --> 00:01:01.200 reconciled to God through the sacrifice of His 00:01:01.200 --> 00:01:05.760 Son, who became sin on our behalf. And as a result, 00:01:05.760 --> 00:01:09.280 by His grace, His righteousness has been credited 00:01:09.280 --> 00:01:14.159 to our account before the Father. That's the 00:01:14.159 --> 00:01:17.459 appeal that God is making through us, that the 00:01:17.459 --> 00:01:19.519 people around us too can be reconciled in that 00:01:19.519 --> 00:01:22.500 same way. And what an amazing reality that we 00:01:22.500 --> 00:01:25.609 possess. First, positionally, that we are actually 00:01:25.609 --> 00:01:31.230 really seen as righteous before the Father. And 00:01:31.230 --> 00:01:33.329 second, practically, that we now have the privilege 00:01:33.329 --> 00:01:36.510 of showing the world what it looks like to live 00:01:36.510 --> 00:01:39.370 out that identity as a son or daughter of God, 00:01:39.510 --> 00:01:42.750 to let people around us see the changes in our 00:01:42.750 --> 00:01:45.609 lives, to have them see that the Christian life 00:01:45.609 --> 00:01:48.989 is beautiful and that it's consistent with the 00:01:48.989 --> 00:01:53.349 way God designed us. in his image, that we're 00:01:53.349 --> 00:01:56.530 flourishing in that design that he gave us. It's 00:01:56.530 --> 00:01:59.489 a beautiful, beautiful thing. So we have a positional, 00:01:59.489 --> 00:02:03.269 beautiful status and a practical, beautiful status. 00:02:04.049 --> 00:02:07.969 So it's true, the world is watching. Today, tomorrow, 00:02:08.289 --> 00:02:10.770 when you go to work, when you go to the mall, 00:02:10.909 --> 00:02:12.949 whatever, the world is watching, the people you 00:02:12.949 --> 00:02:15.650 know, the people around you, especially the people 00:02:15.650 --> 00:02:18.770 to whom you have professed that you are a Christian. 00:02:20.700 --> 00:02:23.120 Those people are really watching, the ones who 00:02:23.120 --> 00:02:25.620 know that you go to church, the ones who know 00:02:25.620 --> 00:02:28.900 that the life of the church is central to who 00:02:28.900 --> 00:02:32.060 you are. They're watching. And we should be glad 00:02:32.060 --> 00:02:33.919 that they're watching because God has saved us 00:02:33.919 --> 00:02:37.099 in part for that very purpose that we would be 00:02:37.099 --> 00:02:41.199 ambassadors, living, breathing, walking gospel 00:02:41.199 --> 00:02:44.740 tracks to a lost and dying world. Here's the 00:02:44.740 --> 00:02:47.199 way Dr. MacArthur once put it. I like this. He 00:02:47.199 --> 00:02:50.000 said, if the saving grace of Christ is to reach 00:02:50.000 --> 00:02:52.780 all men, it's going to depend on the character 00:02:52.780 --> 00:02:57.259 of the church. If we honor the word, silence 00:02:57.259 --> 00:03:00.039 the critics, and demonstrate that God is a saving 00:03:00.039 --> 00:03:03.520 God by our transformed lives, then the gospel 00:03:03.520 --> 00:03:07.199 will be powerfully effective. That's a great 00:03:07.199 --> 00:03:10.099 truth. Now, there are many ways that the world 00:03:10.099 --> 00:03:12.460 is watching, and most of the time, it's just 00:03:12.460 --> 00:03:15.469 in the daily moments of life under the sun. But 00:03:15.469 --> 00:03:18.189 when they judge our lives, know that they're 00:03:18.189 --> 00:03:20.909 not just judging us, they're judging what we 00:03:20.909 --> 00:03:24.370 say we believe. They're judging what we have 00:03:24.370 --> 00:03:27.210 told them we put our faith in. So that means 00:03:27.210 --> 00:03:30.789 who God is, who Jesus is, what the gospel is, 00:03:30.930 --> 00:03:33.789 and whether or not we truly believe that the 00:03:33.789 --> 00:03:39.909 Bible is true. Is Christianity real, they ask, 00:03:40.069 --> 00:03:42.870 or is it just empty religion? So they look to 00:03:42.870 --> 00:03:46.969 you and I. To answer that question. So they ask, 00:03:47.150 --> 00:03:50.509 how does that guy conduct himself in his neighborhood? 00:03:50.830 --> 00:03:54.610 And they watch. How does she speak to people? 00:03:55.310 --> 00:03:59.169 How does she speak about people? Is he kind to 00:03:59.169 --> 00:04:01.909 strangers or is he uncaring and indifferent? 00:04:02.909 --> 00:04:05.469 What does her social media say about her character? 00:04:06.530 --> 00:04:09.050 How does he spend his free time? What things 00:04:09.050 --> 00:04:11.969 does he prioritize in his life? How does she 00:04:11.969 --> 00:04:15.219 disagree with others? with patience or with anger. 00:04:15.379 --> 00:04:17.259 Friends, there's a million ways that the world 00:04:17.259 --> 00:04:20.980 is watching because they've identified you, as 00:04:20.980 --> 00:04:23.620 Paul has, as an ambassador for this thing that 00:04:23.620 --> 00:04:26.220 you say you believe. And so they're watching. 00:04:26.660 --> 00:04:28.920 And one of the most important ways that we represent 00:04:28.920 --> 00:04:32.959 Christ as they watch is in our marriages and 00:04:32.959 --> 00:04:34.860 in our families. And that's where we are headed 00:04:34.860 --> 00:04:37.680 this morning. Do our marriages and families bring 00:04:37.680 --> 00:04:41.899 honor to God's word or does it send a mixed message? 00:04:42.800 --> 00:04:45.759 Grab your Bibles. We're going to Titus chapter 00:04:45.759 --> 00:04:48.000 two. If you're not there already, if you're newer 00:04:48.000 --> 00:04:52.040 with us, welcome. We have been sort of, can I 00:04:52.040 --> 00:04:54.019 say loitering in these verses? Is that fair? 00:04:54.879 --> 00:05:00.040 Hanging around, spending time in this beginning 00:05:00.040 --> 00:05:03.139 section of Titus chapter two, because Paul is 00:05:03.139 --> 00:05:05.620 walking through categories of believers in the 00:05:05.620 --> 00:05:08.459 church. And two Sundays ago, he addressed the 00:05:08.459 --> 00:05:11.220 older men in the church. We talked about that. 00:05:11.319 --> 00:05:13.620 And then last Sunday, We addressed the precious 00:05:13.620 --> 00:05:16.500 older women in the body of Christ. We spent quite 00:05:16.500 --> 00:05:18.160 a bit of time talking about the importance of 00:05:18.160 --> 00:05:21.439 spiritual mothering. How in verses 3 and 4, Paul 00:05:21.439 --> 00:05:24.120 specifically tells the older ladies that they 00:05:24.120 --> 00:05:28.819 have a huge and important role to play in helping 00:05:28.819 --> 00:05:32.459 families and by doing so in building healthier 00:05:32.459 --> 00:05:35.639 churches. The specific call for the older ladies 00:05:35.639 --> 00:05:38.160 was for them to take the younger women under 00:05:38.160 --> 00:05:41.759 their wing and to teach them. and teaching both 00:05:41.759 --> 00:05:44.860 by word but also by example what it looks like 00:05:44.860 --> 00:05:48.120 to be a Christian woman. So important to healthy 00:05:48.120 --> 00:05:51.339 churches. So today we move on, but let's back 00:05:51.339 --> 00:05:53.079 up to verse 1. We need to start there because 00:05:53.079 --> 00:05:55.180 that's the foundation. Then we'll drop down to 00:05:55.180 --> 00:05:58.560 verse 3, read through verse 5, and our key verses 00:05:58.560 --> 00:06:00.939 for this morning will be verses 4 and 5. Remember, 00:06:01.120 --> 00:06:03.240 the foundation for everything that Paul says 00:06:03.240 --> 00:06:06.560 in this section is rooted in this thing we call 00:06:06.560 --> 00:06:09.740 sound doctrine. In other words, Paul's instructions 00:06:09.740 --> 00:06:13.060 are not just practical. They're not just pragmatic 00:06:13.060 --> 00:06:15.259 things that will make your life go smoother. 00:06:15.519 --> 00:06:18.480 This is divine truth. And therefore, it's not 00:06:18.480 --> 00:06:20.800 just a suggestion. These are actual commands, 00:06:20.939 --> 00:06:24.139 and we should look at them as such. Verse 1, 00:06:24.240 --> 00:06:27.100 but as for you, Titus, speak the things which 00:06:27.100 --> 00:06:31.240 are fitting for or consistent with sound doctrine. 00:06:32.899 --> 00:06:36.970 Got it? That's good. That's the foundation. Now 00:06:36.970 --> 00:06:39.430 verse three, older women likewise are to be reverent 00:06:39.430 --> 00:06:42.670 in their behavior, not malicious gossips, and 00:06:42.670 --> 00:06:44.850 a better translation as we talked about last 00:06:44.850 --> 00:06:49.470 week, not slanderers, nor enslaved to much wine. 00:06:50.149 --> 00:06:52.110 And here comes the key to this morning's lesson, 00:06:52.269 --> 00:06:55.449 teaching what is good. Older ladies, teaching 00:06:55.449 --> 00:06:59.509 what is good so that they may encourage the young 00:06:59.509 --> 00:07:01.970 women to do the following. And here's the list 00:07:01.970 --> 00:07:04.829 we're gonna walk through this morning. To love 00:07:04.829 --> 00:07:08.629 their husbands. to love their children, to be 00:07:08.629 --> 00:07:15.189 sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being 00:07:15.189 --> 00:07:18.810 subject to their own husbands so that, purpose 00:07:18.810 --> 00:07:21.870 statement, so that the word of God will not be 00:07:21.870 --> 00:07:25.949 dishonored, will not be slandered or discredited. 00:07:27.209 --> 00:07:29.970 So tons to work through here, you guys. In fact, 00:07:30.050 --> 00:07:32.069 I almost thought about making this two Sundays, 00:07:32.170 --> 00:07:35.209 but then I... You guys have already shown me 00:07:35.209 --> 00:07:37.110 enough patience. So we're going to try to get 00:07:37.110 --> 00:07:39.990 all this in here, but this is going to be a challenge. 00:07:40.149 --> 00:07:41.769 Now, as we've done the last two weeks, we should 00:07:41.769 --> 00:07:43.649 start by saying, well, what is a younger woman? 00:07:44.329 --> 00:07:47.649 How is Paul defining that? And once again, darn 00:07:47.649 --> 00:07:50.089 it, he doesn't give us a number. That would have 00:07:50.089 --> 00:07:53.129 been super helpful. But it's obviously clear 00:07:53.129 --> 00:07:54.910 here that he's talking about women who are old 00:07:54.910 --> 00:07:57.689 enough to be married and old enough to be in 00:07:57.689 --> 00:07:59.629 this stage of either bearing children or raising 00:07:59.629 --> 00:08:03.779 children. So the range of ages back in his day 00:08:03.779 --> 00:08:05.459 would have been different than today because 00:08:05.459 --> 00:08:08.259 back then life was shorter and life started earlier. 00:08:08.439 --> 00:08:11.339 So back then he may have had in mind like 17 00:08:11.339 --> 00:08:15.160 to 30. We're very different today. So for today, 00:08:15.199 --> 00:08:17.560 just as a guide, and you can quibble, you can 00:08:17.560 --> 00:08:20.060 send me an email later, whatever you need to 00:08:20.060 --> 00:08:22.180 do. The best way maybe to think about this is 00:08:22.180 --> 00:08:24.980 in that age range, that sweet spot of maybe 25 00:08:24.980 --> 00:08:30.060 to 45. I know some of you who are 46 or 47, you're 00:08:30.060 --> 00:08:31.480 like, did you just leave me out in the cold? 00:08:32.179 --> 00:08:34.480 Sorry about that. You're going to have to decide 00:08:34.480 --> 00:08:39.720 which category you're in. Anyway. Okay, 25 to 00:08:39.720 --> 00:08:43.700 49. How's that? Just because I don't want to 00:08:43.700 --> 00:08:47.720 get those emails. Okay. Now, before we dive in 00:08:47.720 --> 00:08:50.220 deeper, let me state the obvious here. There 00:08:50.220 --> 00:08:54.039 are parts of this passage. that if some people 00:08:54.039 --> 00:08:55.879 from our culture would walk in here this morning 00:08:55.879 --> 00:08:57.740 and hear me read that, they would gasp in horror. 00:08:58.980 --> 00:09:03.240 They would just be aghast at us as Christians. 00:09:03.879 --> 00:09:07.279 Love your husbands? What if he's not worthy of 00:09:07.279 --> 00:09:14.580 love? Be pure? Well, what if she doesn't feel 00:09:14.580 --> 00:09:17.759 like being pure? What if she wants to be something 00:09:17.759 --> 00:09:22.769 else? Be subject to your own husband? Not a chance. 00:09:22.970 --> 00:09:25.870 Not going to give up that power. That's what 00:09:25.870 --> 00:09:28.649 so many would say. Now, what's interesting is 00:09:28.649 --> 00:09:30.190 there have been times in human history where 00:09:30.190 --> 00:09:33.110 everything in this passage would have been almost 00:09:33.110 --> 00:09:36.149 universally accepted. These were the basic standard 00:09:36.149 --> 00:09:39.289 norms of society. But as you know, today it's 00:09:39.289 --> 00:09:41.909 become very muddled and very confusing, even 00:09:41.909 --> 00:09:44.830 for younger Christian women who are trying to 00:09:44.830 --> 00:09:46.669 figure out this world that they've been born 00:09:46.669 --> 00:09:49.789 into, how to navigate their identity. in this 00:09:49.789 --> 00:09:53.789 world, their role in this culture. And it's especially 00:09:53.789 --> 00:09:55.769 hard for younger women who have come into the 00:09:55.769 --> 00:09:57.870 church who didn't grow up in Christian homes, 00:09:57.970 --> 00:10:00.090 who didn't have these values, weren't raised 00:10:00.090 --> 00:10:03.450 in them, didn't have unique Christian examples 00:10:03.450 --> 00:10:06.889 to look at. For them to have been raised in the 00:10:06.889 --> 00:10:09.769 world and spending so many years being told by 00:10:09.769 --> 00:10:12.500 the culture what they're supposed to be. But 00:10:12.500 --> 00:10:14.500 then coming to know Christ and reading passages 00:10:14.500 --> 00:10:17.000 like this one, this is a shock to the system. 00:10:17.120 --> 00:10:19.279 And so those of us who were blessed to be raised 00:10:19.279 --> 00:10:21.139 in the church should acknowledge that and understand 00:10:21.139 --> 00:10:23.679 this is not easy for everybody. For some of you, 00:10:23.740 --> 00:10:26.580 you're like, I've been studying this all my life. 00:10:26.639 --> 00:10:29.000 But for many who come into the church, these 00:10:29.000 --> 00:10:32.340 are really hard principles. This was the case, 00:10:32.340 --> 00:10:35.019 by the way, in first century Crete. Coming out 00:10:35.019 --> 00:10:37.639 of pagan culture and into the church would have 00:10:37.639 --> 00:10:39.919 been a radical change for young mothers and young 00:10:39.919 --> 00:10:43.379 wives. They'd have to become accustomed to a 00:10:43.379 --> 00:10:46.240 whole new set of values and priorities taught 00:10:46.240 --> 00:10:48.919 by the apostles. And if they had a husband who 00:10:48.919 --> 00:10:51.500 had not responded to the gospel and he was unbelieving, 00:10:51.600 --> 00:10:55.000 it would be incredibly hard for them to sort 00:10:55.000 --> 00:10:57.120 of reorient their thinking and their lives around 00:10:57.120 --> 00:10:59.820 what Paul says here. So we have to understand 00:10:59.820 --> 00:11:01.480 that. We have to be gracious towards one another 00:11:01.480 --> 00:11:04.960 in receiving the truth of this text. It is true. 00:11:05.279 --> 00:11:08.120 It is God's design and God's plan, but we need 00:11:08.120 --> 00:11:09.960 to be gracious because everybody's going to receive 00:11:09.960 --> 00:11:12.570 this. in a unique way based on their background 00:11:12.570 --> 00:11:15.470 and what they've been taught. Now, last Sunday, 00:11:15.509 --> 00:11:17.789 I mentioned that preaching a message directed 00:11:17.789 --> 00:11:19.950 to older women was a bit of a minefield. For 00:11:19.950 --> 00:11:22.230 any man to stand on a pulpit and say, okay, ladies, 00:11:22.350 --> 00:11:25.909 I'm talking to you, that is a minefield because 00:11:25.909 --> 00:11:28.470 this is really sensitive stuff. When we get to 00:11:28.470 --> 00:11:31.190 today with younger women, this is even more difficult. 00:11:32.210 --> 00:11:35.710 And so prayer is appreciated. Because this is 00:11:35.710 --> 00:11:38.389 very sensitive stuff. And by the way, I know 00:11:38.389 --> 00:11:40.809 that in the time that I have, I can't address 00:11:40.809 --> 00:11:43.350 every one of your situation, ladies. There's 00:11:43.350 --> 00:11:45.830 going to be unique situations, and so I've got 00:11:45.830 --> 00:11:48.330 to speak kind of generally today. But if you 00:11:48.330 --> 00:11:51.110 have a particular situation where you come up 00:11:51.110 --> 00:11:52.950 to me or to one of our women's counsel later 00:11:52.950 --> 00:11:55.269 and say, look, I appreciated what Jeff said, 00:11:55.389 --> 00:11:57.909 but it didn't quite fit my situation, please 00:11:57.909 --> 00:12:00.659 feel free to do that. And we'll give you wise 00:12:00.659 --> 00:12:03.019 counsel based on Scripture to help you in your 00:12:03.019 --> 00:12:05.399 unique situation. But we're going to speak kind 00:12:05.399 --> 00:12:07.940 of generally today. But know this, this simple 00:12:07.940 --> 00:12:10.080 set of commands, and they are simple and straightforward. 00:12:10.460 --> 00:12:13.139 This is not, well, you know, it could mean this 00:12:13.139 --> 00:12:14.879 or could mean that. These are pretty straightforward. 00:12:15.679 --> 00:12:18.120 If these things are embraced and obeyed by the 00:12:18.120 --> 00:12:21.240 younger women in the church, it has immense implications 00:12:21.240 --> 00:12:25.000 for the kingdom of God. And it potentially has 00:12:25.000 --> 00:12:27.980 a huge role in being a wonderful witness to the 00:12:27.980 --> 00:12:32.019 world about how the Christian life can transform 00:12:32.019 --> 00:12:35.980 us from the inside out. Make sense? Okay, now 00:12:35.980 --> 00:12:37.519 let's think about this for a moment. We just 00:12:37.519 --> 00:12:40.679 dropped ourselves into the middle of the New 00:12:40.679 --> 00:12:44.379 Testament and looking at God's plan and design 00:12:44.379 --> 00:12:47.879 for women. But obviously, this goes back much, 00:12:47.919 --> 00:12:49.960 much further, doesn't it? It didn't just show 00:12:49.960 --> 00:12:52.340 up here in Titus. Paul's not teaching anything 00:12:52.340 --> 00:12:54.600 new. In this passage, you have to know that. 00:12:54.679 --> 00:12:56.519 And his teaching didn't come out of nowhere. 00:12:56.860 --> 00:12:59.000 It's all built on the foundation of the book 00:12:59.000 --> 00:13:01.039 of Genesis, which I'm sure you thought about. 00:13:01.600 --> 00:13:03.879 Back in Genesis 3, after the fall, you might 00:13:03.879 --> 00:13:07.600 recall that God cursed Eve, everybody's favorite 00:13:07.600 --> 00:13:11.519 ancestor, right? Cursed Eve in two ways, right? 00:13:11.700 --> 00:13:14.100 To the woman, God said, I will greatly multiply 00:13:14.100 --> 00:13:19.500 your pain and childbirth. Thank you, Eve. In 00:13:19.500 --> 00:13:21.480 pain, you will bring forth children. Now, look 00:13:21.480 --> 00:13:23.879 at this. Yet your desire will be for your husband, 00:13:23.960 --> 00:13:29.039 and he will rule over you. Now, the gut reaction 00:13:29.039 --> 00:13:31.200 to that is, well, why is that a bad thing? Shouldn't 00:13:31.200 --> 00:13:33.960 a wife have a desire for her husband? But the 00:13:33.960 --> 00:13:36.480 language can be deceiving here. In the very next 00:13:36.480 --> 00:13:40.379 chapter, in Genesis chapter 4, God speaks to 00:13:40.379 --> 00:13:44.600 wicked Cain, and he says this. Sin is crouching 00:13:44.600 --> 00:13:48.200 at the door, and its desire is for you. Now, 00:13:48.220 --> 00:13:50.539 we would obviously say that's not a good thing. 00:13:50.620 --> 00:13:53.799 So built into the Hebrew phraseology here for 00:13:53.799 --> 00:13:57.500 desire is the concept of, wait for it, wanting 00:13:57.500 --> 00:14:03.779 control. So sin wants to control the sinner. 00:14:04.200 --> 00:14:06.659 And the curse upon the woman would be the temptation 00:14:06.659 --> 00:14:10.379 to want to control the relationship with her 00:14:10.379 --> 00:14:14.070 husband. To want control. And yet God says to 00:14:14.070 --> 00:14:16.090 Eve, you're going to struggle for that. You're 00:14:16.090 --> 00:14:17.789 going to want that power. You're going to want 00:14:17.789 --> 00:14:22.370 that position. But he is going to exercise dominion 00:14:22.370 --> 00:14:25.529 over you. So what does that sound like? It sounds 00:14:25.529 --> 00:14:29.129 like conflict, doesn't it? Now, before the fall, 00:14:29.230 --> 00:14:31.669 God established a divine order for the sexes. 00:14:31.970 --> 00:14:34.529 Adam was made first. Eve was made from Adam. 00:14:35.490 --> 00:14:37.970 By the way, Paul picks that up. In 1 Timothy 00:14:37.970 --> 00:14:40.730 2, as part of the reason for why he instructs 00:14:40.730 --> 00:14:42.809 the church, because of that divine order, it's 00:14:42.809 --> 00:14:44.950 important to God. He made Adam first. He made 00:14:44.950 --> 00:14:47.850 Eve second from Adam. And Adam is originally 00:14:47.850 --> 00:14:50.850 tasked to subdue and cultivate the earth. And 00:14:50.850 --> 00:14:54.269 then God gives him Eve as a helper, that together 00:14:54.269 --> 00:14:56.809 they might complement each other and together 00:14:56.809 --> 00:14:59.490 they might fulfill the purposes that God had 00:14:59.490 --> 00:15:01.850 ordained for both of them together as one flesh. 00:15:03.370 --> 00:15:05.549 So that structure of things was given before 00:15:05.549 --> 00:15:08.629 the fall, which means that male headship and 00:15:08.629 --> 00:15:13.809 female submission were good and healthy. And 00:15:13.809 --> 00:15:15.529 we'll get to more of that later. But once sin 00:15:15.529 --> 00:15:18.230 entered into the created order, everything got 00:15:18.230 --> 00:15:22.000 wonky and everything got contentious. From that 00:15:22.000 --> 00:15:24.080 point on, conflict would ensue in marriages. 00:15:24.259 --> 00:15:26.440 There would be this struggle where the wife would 00:15:26.440 --> 00:15:29.279 want to gain power and control over her husband 00:15:29.279 --> 00:15:32.019 and where her husband would respond in bad ways, 00:15:32.120 --> 00:15:34.500 wanting to exert his authority and rule over 00:15:34.500 --> 00:15:37.320 his wife in ways that aren't loving, in ways 00:15:37.320 --> 00:15:39.500 that aren't healthy. And this is part of our 00:15:39.500 --> 00:15:42.059 fallen nature. So Paul reminds Titus, you have 00:15:42.059 --> 00:15:44.519 to make sure that the older women who have walked 00:15:44.519 --> 00:15:46.899 through this will now go to the younger women 00:15:46.899 --> 00:15:49.720 and help them battle against this desire that 00:15:49.720 --> 00:15:53.000 is rooted deep within their flesh. Help them 00:15:53.000 --> 00:15:55.679 battle against it, this desire to control their 00:15:55.679 --> 00:15:59.840 husband and to lead in the relationship. So that's 00:15:59.840 --> 00:16:02.379 the foundational understanding. Again, Paul's 00:16:02.379 --> 00:16:04.320 not teaching anything new here. It comes out 00:16:04.320 --> 00:16:07.980 of the book of Genesis. So look back at the end 00:16:07.980 --> 00:16:09.799 of verse 3 for a moment. Notice the older women 00:16:09.799 --> 00:16:11.600 are supposed to teach what is good. Well, we 00:16:11.600 --> 00:16:13.500 have to decide what does that actually mean? 00:16:13.580 --> 00:16:15.820 What kind of good teaching does Paul have in 00:16:15.820 --> 00:16:19.019 mind? And that begins in verse 4. Paul says the 00:16:19.019 --> 00:16:21.200 older women are to encourage the younger women 00:16:21.200 --> 00:16:23.820 to do this whole list of things. Now, three of 00:16:23.820 --> 00:16:26.159 those things, or seven total, three of them are 00:16:26.159 --> 00:16:28.659 what I would call general character traits that 00:16:28.659 --> 00:16:31.700 a younger woman ought to develop. And then four 00:16:31.700 --> 00:16:34.039 of them are specifically applied in the home. 00:16:34.759 --> 00:16:36.960 So that's where we're headed for before we're 00:16:36.960 --> 00:16:39.559 done. Now, we looked at that word that Paul uses 00:16:39.559 --> 00:16:42.440 for encourage last Sunday, the Greek verb sophronizo, 00:16:42.639 --> 00:16:45.980 and it has this amazing range of meaning, including 00:16:45.980 --> 00:16:48.480 the idea that older women should help the younger 00:16:48.480 --> 00:16:52.399 women, get this now, come to their senses about 00:16:52.399 --> 00:16:56.399 God's expectations for them. Come to their senses 00:16:56.399 --> 00:16:58.639 about what God expects from them as Christian 00:16:58.639 --> 00:17:03.240 young women. So when the younger women get wobbly 00:17:03.240 --> 00:17:06.119 in life, as we're all prone to do, the older 00:17:06.119 --> 00:17:08.180 ladies are called to come alongside them and 00:17:08.180 --> 00:17:11.200 put them back on track with their experience, 00:17:11.319 --> 00:17:14.240 with their wisdom. And that process implies that 00:17:14.240 --> 00:17:16.880 there is a strong ongoing relationship between 00:17:16.880 --> 00:17:19.200 the older and the younger, life -on -life training, 00:17:19.359 --> 00:17:23.779 including support and advice and affirmation 00:17:23.779 --> 00:17:26.759 and, if necessary, correction to get them back 00:17:26.759 --> 00:17:32.660 on track. Does that make sense? Love when people 00:17:32.660 --> 00:17:36.099 talk in church. It's wonderful. Okay, so three 00:17:36.099 --> 00:17:38.200 general character traits beginning here in verse 00:17:38.200 --> 00:17:40.259 five. Let's go through them here. Put them on 00:17:40.259 --> 00:17:42.400 the screen as well. First, Paul wants the younger 00:17:42.400 --> 00:17:45.619 women to be shown how to be sensible. Sensible. 00:17:46.680 --> 00:17:48.839 Now that word comes from the same root as the 00:17:48.839 --> 00:17:51.599 word encourage, sophron. So there's an obvious 00:17:51.599 --> 00:17:53.660 connection here. Basically what he's saying here 00:17:53.660 --> 00:17:57.339 is older women help the younger women to come 00:17:57.339 --> 00:17:59.839 to their senses and start being sensible again. 00:18:01.069 --> 00:18:04.130 Get them back on track. That means helping them 00:18:04.130 --> 00:18:07.349 to think rightly. Okay, if their thinking has 00:18:07.349 --> 00:18:09.869 gone wonky, get them back on track. Help them 00:18:09.869 --> 00:18:13.650 to think rightly. Help them to make sure they 00:18:13.650 --> 00:18:17.289 establish right priorities. And helping them 00:18:17.289 --> 00:18:19.750 produce the fruit of self -control. This is what 00:18:19.750 --> 00:18:22.490 Paul is aiming at. Older ladies, help them understand 00:18:22.490 --> 00:18:26.119 to be sensible and self -controlled. And we all 00:18:26.119 --> 00:18:27.599 need that when we're younger. Self -control, 00:18:27.759 --> 00:18:30.539 right? Self -awareness, self -control. We need 00:18:30.539 --> 00:18:32.740 this when we're younger. And the older folks 00:18:32.740 --> 00:18:34.680 can help you with that. They can look back and 00:18:34.680 --> 00:18:37.079 say, look, I get it. I was there once. Let me 00:18:37.079 --> 00:18:40.240 tell you a wiser way. That's number one. Second 00:18:40.240 --> 00:18:43.700 thing, he wants them to be pure. Hagnos in the 00:18:43.700 --> 00:18:47.200 Greek. So this means to live in a way that is 00:18:47.200 --> 00:18:51.119 modest and morally virtuous. And in relation 00:18:51.119 --> 00:18:53.700 to marriage, it means living a life that is faithful. 00:18:54.430 --> 00:18:59.089 To your covenant husband. Faithful to your husband. 00:18:59.690 --> 00:19:01.589 By the way, this is the same Greek word that 00:19:01.589 --> 00:19:04.910 Peter uses in his first letter where you might 00:19:04.910 --> 00:19:07.289 recall he talks about this interesting situation 00:19:07.289 --> 00:19:11.869 where women who are believers are now married 00:19:11.869 --> 00:19:15.710 to disobedient men, he says. He talks about how 00:19:15.710 --> 00:19:17.410 they have an opportunity in the midst of that 00:19:17.410 --> 00:19:20.730 very difficult situation. And some of you ladies 00:19:20.730 --> 00:19:22.930 know this. You're a believer, you're striving 00:19:22.930 --> 00:19:25.130 to please God, but your husband is disobedient. 00:19:25.390 --> 00:19:28.789 Peter's advice is, win your husband over by a 00:19:28.789 --> 00:19:31.049 combination of your purity, that's the word he 00:19:31.049 --> 00:19:35.250 uses, and respectful behavior. Your purity and 00:19:35.250 --> 00:19:37.609 your respectful behavior. And he goes on to describe 00:19:37.609 --> 00:19:40.910 what that looks like. And the focus in Peter's 00:19:40.910 --> 00:19:44.210 letter is on the woman's inner self, her heart, 00:19:44.309 --> 00:19:47.910 her character, and how her beauty doesn't just 00:19:47.910 --> 00:19:50.299 come from outward adornment, but it comes from 00:19:50.299 --> 00:19:52.319 within. It's the beauty of having a gentle and 00:19:52.319 --> 00:19:55.000 quiet spirit, which is precious in God's sight. 00:19:55.339 --> 00:19:57.900 So he says, if you're in that situation, focus 00:19:57.900 --> 00:20:00.720 on those things. And he says, look, this is how 00:20:00.720 --> 00:20:03.319 godly women of all ages have adorned themselves 00:20:03.319 --> 00:20:07.599 with beauty that is inside out. Not that outside 00:20:07.599 --> 00:20:10.460 beauty is bad, but it starts within, inside out. 00:20:10.700 --> 00:20:13.480 And so Paul then picks up on that same theme, 00:20:13.539 --> 00:20:15.799 saying, therefore, Titus, make sure that the 00:20:15.799 --> 00:20:19.410 older woman in Crete are teaching and showing 00:20:19.410 --> 00:20:21.509 the younger women how to be pure in that same 00:20:21.509 --> 00:20:24.529 way, to develop that strength of character that 00:20:24.529 --> 00:20:28.569 makes her beautiful, both inside and out. That's 00:20:28.569 --> 00:20:31.029 what I want you to do, Titus. Make sure the older 00:20:31.029 --> 00:20:35.609 women are causing that to come to be. So that's 00:20:35.609 --> 00:20:37.789 the second thing, pure. Third thing, general 00:20:37.789 --> 00:20:40.910 characteristic, the older women should teach 00:20:40.910 --> 00:20:44.009 the younger women to be kind. Now, that seems 00:20:44.009 --> 00:20:46.369 like a slam dunk, an obvious thing, right? The 00:20:46.369 --> 00:20:48.829 Greek word agathos. And it can be translated 00:20:48.829 --> 00:20:51.529 as good. It can be translated as pleasant or 00:20:51.529 --> 00:20:54.670 agreeable. But I love the use of the word kind 00:20:54.670 --> 00:20:57.930 here because this is one of my hot buttons that 00:20:57.930 --> 00:20:59.869 I talk about a lot, especially in our Heartwood 00:20:59.869 --> 00:21:02.829 Marriage Workshop. I have found that in many 00:21:02.829 --> 00:21:07.309 marriages, kindness is missing. Kindness to our 00:21:07.309 --> 00:21:11.220 spouse is not there. And it's amazing how we 00:21:11.220 --> 00:21:13.880 often treat the ones closest to us with the least 00:21:13.880 --> 00:21:18.140 amount of kindness. Have you noticed this? We'll 00:21:18.140 --> 00:21:20.619 be kind to the person who comes up and takes 00:21:20.619 --> 00:21:22.900 our order at the restaurant. We'll be super kind. 00:21:23.700 --> 00:21:26.819 We go to Target and this cashier is maybe struggling 00:21:26.819 --> 00:21:29.140 to ring us up. We'll be super kind and gracious. 00:21:30.420 --> 00:21:34.000 And then we get home to our spouse and we're 00:21:34.000 --> 00:21:40.049 anything but kind. Right? But we're Christians. 00:21:40.170 --> 00:21:41.710 We're supposed to be kind to everybody, right? 00:21:41.829 --> 00:21:43.829 We get home to our spouse, and what do we do? 00:21:43.930 --> 00:21:46.130 We're so comfortable with them that we feel like 00:21:46.130 --> 00:21:48.750 we can be grumbly and rude and short -tempered 00:21:48.750 --> 00:21:53.250 with them. But why? Why do we do that? The question 00:21:53.250 --> 00:21:57.329 is, were you faking it with the cashier? Were 00:21:57.329 --> 00:21:59.970 you faking it when you were kind to that stranger, 00:22:00.089 --> 00:22:02.269 or was that real? And if it was real, how can 00:22:02.269 --> 00:22:04.029 you be patient and gracious with that stranger 00:22:04.029 --> 00:22:06.490 but not with the one you're in covenant marriage 00:22:06.490 --> 00:22:10.079 with? There's something wrong there, correct? 00:22:11.240 --> 00:22:15.279 Just basic kindness with your spouse. If your 00:22:15.279 --> 00:22:17.220 marriage is a struggle right now, ladies, here's 00:22:17.220 --> 00:22:20.619 a great place to start. Be kind. Be pleasant. 00:22:21.720 --> 00:22:26.079 Be a joy to be around. Find ways to bless your 00:22:26.079 --> 00:22:28.880 husband with kindness and God will reward you. 00:22:30.259 --> 00:22:32.579 Even if it's difficult, God will reward you. 00:22:32.640 --> 00:22:35.539 Do what God says you should be doing as a younger 00:22:35.539 --> 00:22:39.019 woman in marriage. Be kind. So those are the 00:22:39.019 --> 00:22:40.920 three general character traits, and those are 00:22:40.920 --> 00:22:43.799 good challenges, aren't they? Now, the next four 00:22:43.799 --> 00:22:46.279 that Paul gives to us are specific to the home, 00:22:46.420 --> 00:22:49.240 and this is where it gets a little bit more controversial. 00:22:51.019 --> 00:22:53.079 Now, before I get into those things, let me preface 00:22:53.079 --> 00:22:56.380 it with this thought. I want to enter into your 00:22:56.380 --> 00:22:59.720 pain, ladies. Being a young woman today is not 00:22:59.720 --> 00:23:03.539 easy. I know this is true because our culture, 00:23:03.640 --> 00:23:06.599 our culture both out there in the world and in 00:23:06.599 --> 00:23:09.700 the church, are constantly sending you subtle 00:23:09.700 --> 00:23:12.160 messages, sometimes not so subtle messages, about 00:23:12.160 --> 00:23:16.180 who you are and what you should be. In fact, 00:23:16.359 --> 00:23:19.220 everything from on one side, feminist voices 00:23:19.220 --> 00:23:23.000 that are telling you to be this dominant career 00:23:23.000 --> 00:23:26.339 woman, independent of men, and to not let bearing 00:23:26.339 --> 00:23:28.559 children get in the way of you fulfilling your 00:23:28.559 --> 00:23:31.220 dreams and your wants and desires, that's on 00:23:31.220 --> 00:23:33.240 the one side. And then the other extreme, and 00:23:33.240 --> 00:23:41.869 I'll put this on the screen. That's AI, I think. 00:23:44.170 --> 00:23:46.710 On the other extreme, hyper -traditional voices 00:23:46.710 --> 00:23:50.710 telling you that you must stay at home and that 00:23:50.710 --> 00:23:53.230 your only calling in life is to become some type 00:23:53.230 --> 00:23:56.130 of super homemaker and super mom. And you've 00:23:56.130 --> 00:23:59.710 got to look like one of those two pictures. Don't 00:23:59.710 --> 00:24:03.549 buy that. Because of these voices, I know that 00:24:03.549 --> 00:24:05.130 there are many young Christian women who are 00:24:05.130 --> 00:24:07.369 not sure about what to do in the future, what 00:24:07.369 --> 00:24:09.950 they're truly supposed to be. And guys, this 00:24:09.950 --> 00:24:13.569 is so typical of Satan's tactics. Remember, he 00:24:13.569 --> 00:24:16.210 always wants to destroy the building block of 00:24:16.210 --> 00:24:19.269 society, which is the home. He wants to destroy 00:24:19.269 --> 00:24:22.390 the family unit. And one of his most powerful 00:24:22.390 --> 00:24:25.730 weapons is confusion. He will try to confuse 00:24:25.730 --> 00:24:29.029 you. He will want to try to pit men against women 00:24:29.029 --> 00:24:31.609 and women against men. He will want to tempt 00:24:31.609 --> 00:24:34.549 women to abandon the home and tempt men to wander 00:24:34.549 --> 00:24:37.470 away from their families. He will want to cause 00:24:37.470 --> 00:24:39.990 feelings of inadequacy and fear to rise up within 00:24:39.990 --> 00:24:42.230 you and then to stir things up with all kinds 00:24:42.230 --> 00:24:46.069 of cultural pressure and social media. And it's 00:24:46.069 --> 00:24:47.710 one thing if he can orchestrate those things 00:24:47.710 --> 00:24:49.829 in the world, that's bad enough. But when he 00:24:49.829 --> 00:24:52.250 can do it in the church with believers, that's 00:24:52.250 --> 00:24:56.130 where he really wins. Causing the word of God 00:24:56.130 --> 00:24:58.670 to be slandered and the name of Christ to be 00:24:58.670 --> 00:25:02.430 blasphemed because we bought into lies and extremes. 00:25:03.709 --> 00:25:05.789 So we have to look at what God's word actually 00:25:05.789 --> 00:25:07.950 says about marriage and about children and about 00:25:07.950 --> 00:25:10.690 the structure of our homes. And then, ladies, 00:25:10.710 --> 00:25:13.430 you have to embrace it and wipe away all that 00:25:13.430 --> 00:25:16.369 confusion and say, I know these voices are coming 00:25:16.369 --> 00:25:19.289 at me, but I can shut those out. I can look at 00:25:19.289 --> 00:25:22.849 God's word and I know exactly who I am and what 00:25:22.849 --> 00:25:25.650 I'm supposed to be. Do you trust God enough to 00:25:25.650 --> 00:25:27.930 do what he says and not what these other voices 00:25:27.930 --> 00:25:30.450 are saying? That's a really important question. 00:25:30.829 --> 00:25:32.289 I'm going to get that picture off the screen 00:25:32.289 --> 00:25:36.410 soon, I promise. So let's look at the four commands 00:25:36.410 --> 00:25:39.970 for the home in verses 4 and 5. So sandwiched 00:25:39.970 --> 00:25:43.269 in between pure and kind is the instruction for 00:25:43.269 --> 00:25:45.650 older women to make sure the younger women are 00:25:45.650 --> 00:25:50.549 functioning as workers at home. Workers at home. 00:25:52.349 --> 00:25:54.930 Now, as we've seen before in this series, You 00:25:54.930 --> 00:25:57.009 have this phrase in English that if you go to 00:25:57.009 --> 00:25:58.890 the original Greek, it's just one word, and this 00:25:58.890 --> 00:26:01.150 is another one of those examples, a compound 00:26:01.150 --> 00:26:04.390 word, oikorgas, which comes from two root words, 00:26:04.509 --> 00:26:07.750 oikos, which means home, and this word oros, 00:26:07.869 --> 00:26:10.589 which is a word that is usually applied to, it 00:26:10.589 --> 00:26:13.329 could be applied to a guard or somebody who keeps 00:26:13.329 --> 00:26:17.349 watch over something. So keeping watch at home. 00:26:18.349 --> 00:26:21.710 That's the calling here. And so Paul is encouraging 00:26:21.710 --> 00:26:25.230 the younger women. to focus their attention on 00:26:25.230 --> 00:26:27.589 the home, to make the home their priority and 00:26:27.589 --> 00:26:30.109 their domain and to do it for the benefit of 00:26:30.109 --> 00:26:32.430 others. Do it for the benefit of their husband 00:26:32.430 --> 00:26:35.109 if they're married and for their kids if they 00:26:35.109 --> 00:26:38.750 have kids. Make the home your domain and then 00:26:38.750 --> 00:26:41.470 extend it even beyond that to others in the body 00:26:41.470 --> 00:26:45.069 of Christ through generous hospitality to keep 00:26:45.069 --> 00:26:48.410 watch over your home. Now, this is why we did 00:26:48.410 --> 00:26:51.109 the Proverbs 31 woman as our call to worship 00:26:51.109 --> 00:26:53.509 this morning. How could we not look at the Proverbs 00:26:53.509 --> 00:26:57.970 31 woman? It's the description of an excellent 00:26:57.970 --> 00:27:02.789 wife according to what the Lord says. And if 00:27:02.789 --> 00:27:04.809 God says this is an excellent wife, we should 00:27:04.809 --> 00:27:08.250 closely examine her and look at both what she 00:27:08.250 --> 00:27:11.150 does and what she doesn't do. Now, I know it's 00:27:11.150 --> 00:27:14.490 common for young women today to sneer just a 00:27:14.490 --> 00:27:17.420 little bit. At the Proverbs 31 woman. And I get 00:27:17.420 --> 00:27:20.519 it. I actually understand why young women sometimes 00:27:20.519 --> 00:27:24.619 go, please don't do that to me. Because it seems 00:27:24.619 --> 00:27:27.839 that she sets such an impossible standard for 00:27:27.839 --> 00:27:30.039 any woman to reach. And so ladies, let me say 00:27:30.039 --> 00:27:33.619 this. God has not given you the Proverbs 31 woman 00:27:33.619 --> 00:27:37.480 to make you feel bad or to discourage you. I 00:27:37.480 --> 00:27:39.680 know the temptation is to feel that. That is 00:27:39.680 --> 00:27:42.859 not God's purpose. She's presented to us as what 00:27:42.859 --> 00:27:47.039 we call an archetype. Or an ideal type in poetic 00:27:47.039 --> 00:27:50.460 form. And it's important to note that. The goal 00:27:50.460 --> 00:27:52.700 in looking to this woman is not to compare yourself 00:27:52.700 --> 00:27:56.039 and start feeling inadequate, but to see her 00:27:56.039 --> 00:28:01.119 as an ideal. Something to shoot for. And to be 00:28:01.119 --> 00:28:03.759 inspired and challenged, listen now, to excel 00:28:03.759 --> 00:28:08.839 in certain areas where she excels. Because here's 00:28:08.839 --> 00:28:11.960 the reality. Not every woman out there is... 00:28:12.319 --> 00:28:14.759 gifted or skilled to do all the things that the 00:28:14.759 --> 00:28:18.420 Proverbs 31 woman does. And not every woman out 00:28:18.420 --> 00:28:21.200 there is in a position in life to be able to 00:28:21.200 --> 00:28:24.140 do everything that the Proverbs 31 woman does. 00:28:24.400 --> 00:28:26.559 So don't get discouraged. It's actually more 00:28:26.559 --> 00:28:28.960 important that you see the principles behind 00:28:28.960 --> 00:28:32.819 what she prioritizes than the details of what 00:28:32.819 --> 00:28:36.019 she does. And that's so often true of Scripture. 00:28:36.140 --> 00:28:38.559 What's the principle behind this? We get lost 00:28:38.559 --> 00:28:40.660 in the weeds and sometimes we miss the forest, 00:28:40.740 --> 00:28:44.009 right? To me, what's beautiful about the Proverbs 00:28:44.009 --> 00:28:48.109 31 woman is that she's capable, she's talented, 00:28:48.369 --> 00:28:52.289 she's ambitious. To be honest, when you look 00:28:52.289 --> 00:28:54.549 at it, she's a woman ahead of her time, isn't 00:28:54.549 --> 00:28:56.549 she, in many ways. This is the ancient world, 00:28:56.690 --> 00:28:59.670 right? But having said that, the critical point 00:28:59.670 --> 00:29:02.410 about the way she views her life and her role 00:29:02.410 --> 00:29:05.450 is in all of her dealing, she makes her home 00:29:05.450 --> 00:29:09.009 a priority. She makes her home the priority, 00:29:09.250 --> 00:29:13.119 which is what Paul is telling the older women 00:29:13.119 --> 00:29:16.539 should help the younger women with. You can be 00:29:16.539 --> 00:29:18.960 a worker at home and still do many things, ladies. 00:29:19.940 --> 00:29:23.400 That's possible. The Proverbs 31 woman, she buys 00:29:23.400 --> 00:29:26.640 and she sells. She makes investments. She imports 00:29:26.640 --> 00:29:30.339 goods. She even helps the poor. But in all that, 00:29:30.460 --> 00:29:32.880 she's not driven by a spirit of career building. 00:29:33.039 --> 00:29:35.200 She's not driven by a spirit of trying to be 00:29:35.200 --> 00:29:38.359 independent from her husband. Today we would 00:29:38.359 --> 00:29:40.859 say she's not seduced by the secular voices and 00:29:40.859 --> 00:29:43.980 culture that tell her what it means to be fulfilled. 00:29:44.160 --> 00:29:47.240 She doesn't buy that. For the excellent wife, 00:29:47.299 --> 00:29:49.819 it comes back to her household. That is the place 00:29:49.819 --> 00:29:52.960 where she wants to pour her heart into. And all 00:29:52.960 --> 00:29:54.920 the other things she does is for the benefit 00:29:54.920 --> 00:29:59.700 of that place, for that domain. It says she works 00:29:59.700 --> 00:30:03.119 with her hands in delight. She delights to work 00:30:03.119 --> 00:30:06.329 with her hands at home. She cares for, she feeds 00:30:06.329 --> 00:30:09.329 her family there. So while she has lots of interests 00:30:09.329 --> 00:30:11.509 and she has freedom to do all kinds of things, 00:30:11.670 --> 00:30:14.170 the home is her beautiful, flourishing domain 00:30:14.170 --> 00:30:19.190 where she honors God and serves others. It's 00:30:19.190 --> 00:30:22.990 a beautiful model. It's a beautiful model. And 00:30:22.990 --> 00:30:25.549 I know in this current world where you're hearing 00:30:25.549 --> 00:30:27.809 all these feminist voices, you're like, is that 00:30:27.809 --> 00:30:32.109 enough? God says it is. And that's a point of 00:30:32.109 --> 00:30:34.809 prayer for every one of you ladies. To receive 00:30:34.809 --> 00:30:38.849 that well is a divine word. Most notably, what 00:30:38.849 --> 00:30:41.269 comes out of her example is a few incredible 00:30:41.269 --> 00:30:42.869 statements in this chapter, and I'll put them 00:30:42.869 --> 00:30:45.490 on the screen. The heart of her husband trusts 00:30:45.490 --> 00:30:48.609 in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She 00:30:48.609 --> 00:30:51.369 does him good and not evil all the days of her 00:30:51.369 --> 00:30:55.789 life. What a beautiful thing for her husband 00:30:55.789 --> 00:30:58.529 to trust in her. That is, I can tell you as a 00:30:58.529 --> 00:31:01.829 husband, what an amazing sense that is to know 00:31:01.829 --> 00:31:06.750 that I... 100 % trust my wife. Strength and dignity 00:31:06.750 --> 00:31:09.150 are her clothing. She's not a weakling, right? 00:31:09.390 --> 00:31:13.049 She's not a doormat being kicked around. Strength 00:31:13.049 --> 00:31:15.569 and dignity are her clothing. She smiles at the 00:31:15.569 --> 00:31:19.349 future. She's optimistic about where God is taking 00:31:19.349 --> 00:31:23.289 her and her husband. She opens her mouth in wisdom 00:31:23.289 --> 00:31:26.349 and the teaching of what? Kindness is on her 00:31:26.349 --> 00:31:31.359 tongue. She's wise. She's smart. Her children 00:31:31.359 --> 00:31:34.220 rise up and bless her, her husband also, and 00:31:34.220 --> 00:31:36.599 he praises her saying, many daughters have done 00:31:36.599 --> 00:31:41.319 nobly, but you, my wife, you, my dear, you excel 00:31:41.319 --> 00:31:45.359 them all. I mean, how many wives don't want to 00:31:45.359 --> 00:31:48.740 hear that from their husbands? She's incredible. 00:31:49.819 --> 00:31:51.940 So for the younger women of today, know that 00:31:51.940 --> 00:31:53.660 you have lots of freedom to do a lot of different 00:31:53.660 --> 00:31:56.039 things, but like this woman in this chapter, 00:31:56.119 --> 00:31:58.160 this ideal, again, let me just stress that, this 00:31:58.160 --> 00:32:01.819 ideal. You have to make wise choices to prioritize 00:32:01.819 --> 00:32:05.200 the right things if you want to please the Lord 00:32:05.200 --> 00:32:08.039 and live out this calling for your life and that 00:32:08.039 --> 00:32:10.480 of your family. You've got to make the right 00:32:10.480 --> 00:32:13.200 choices. You've got to prioritize things. And 00:32:13.200 --> 00:32:14.900 every woman's situation is going to be unique. 00:32:14.940 --> 00:32:17.829 Let me just say that again. absolute blueprint 00:32:17.829 --> 00:32:20.369 for this. Many times what you're going to have 00:32:20.369 --> 00:32:23.089 to do is say, okay, well, I see that example, 00:32:23.150 --> 00:32:25.670 but this is my life. These are my skills. This 00:32:25.670 --> 00:32:27.789 is what I'm able to do. And you're going to need 00:32:27.789 --> 00:32:31.109 to go talk to a godly woman, one of those older 00:32:31.109 --> 00:32:35.450 women, 50 plus, and say, help me. And that's 00:32:35.450 --> 00:32:38.210 what we long to do as older people to say, okay, 00:32:38.289 --> 00:32:41.269 look, I've tried this. I've done this. Here's 00:32:41.269 --> 00:32:43.390 the mistakes I made. Here's the things I did 00:32:43.390 --> 00:32:45.809 right. Here's where God gave me victory. Let 00:32:45.809 --> 00:32:49.099 me walk. through this with you. And that's the 00:32:49.099 --> 00:32:54.440 whole purpose of this. Okay, is that workers 00:32:54.440 --> 00:32:56.640 at home? Everybody get that? That was a lot. 00:32:57.200 --> 00:33:00.880 Second thing, encourage the young women to love 00:33:00.880 --> 00:33:05.839 their husbands. Now, there's an important historical 00:33:05.839 --> 00:33:08.220 context that goes with this. Remember, we are 00:33:08.220 --> 00:33:11.539 talking about first, an island in first century 00:33:11.539 --> 00:33:14.779 Greece, right? And we already talked about the 00:33:14.779 --> 00:33:18.369 character of the Cretans. Right? They're awful, 00:33:18.569 --> 00:33:21.390 right? By the way, we know that even, did you 00:33:21.390 --> 00:33:23.970 know that, this is a rabbit trail, the Philistines 00:33:23.970 --> 00:33:26.210 that the Israelites battle with all throughout 00:33:26.210 --> 00:33:28.390 the Old Testament, probably from Crete originally, 00:33:28.630 --> 00:33:32.210 from the Aegean Sea. Anyway, that's an aside. 00:33:34.190 --> 00:33:36.730 Think about the historical condition, the men 00:33:36.730 --> 00:33:38.589 and women on this island in the first century. 00:33:38.650 --> 00:33:42.289 This is a very patriarchal society, much more 00:33:42.289 --> 00:33:45.140 than ours is today. So men and women on Crete 00:33:45.140 --> 00:33:49.019 that are being saved out of that culture mostly 00:33:49.019 --> 00:33:51.900 would not have even an idea of what romantic 00:33:51.900 --> 00:33:56.480 or emotional love would look like. It's really 00:33:56.480 --> 00:33:58.900 not part of their radar. Their marriages back 00:33:58.900 --> 00:34:01.660 in that day would be based on family and tribal 00:34:01.660 --> 00:34:05.480 connections. For women, it would be a matter 00:34:05.480 --> 00:34:08.860 of, can I find a man to be betrothed to who will 00:34:08.860 --> 00:34:11.420 provide for me in this harsh life that we're 00:34:11.420 --> 00:34:14.670 living? Because women needed to survive. And 00:34:14.670 --> 00:34:16.989 in return, the wife's role was, you know what? 00:34:17.070 --> 00:34:19.369 I'll bear children. We need lots of children 00:34:19.369 --> 00:34:22.269 to survive. We'll bear children. I'll be the 00:34:22.269 --> 00:34:25.110 keeper of the home. So picture this. Marriage 00:34:25.110 --> 00:34:29.050 in this context is mostly functional and not 00:34:29.050 --> 00:34:31.809 romantic and not emotional. We always put that 00:34:31.809 --> 00:34:35.329 sort of modern layer on top of it, but that's 00:34:35.329 --> 00:34:38.110 not the case here. This is why Paul has to instruct 00:34:38.110 --> 00:34:41.460 the young ladies to love their husbands. Because 00:34:41.460 --> 00:34:44.840 it wouldn't be automatic. And it might have to 00:34:44.840 --> 00:34:47.000 be an act of their will, a deliberate effort 00:34:47.000 --> 00:34:50.199 to love this man that I'm now in covenant with. 00:34:51.159 --> 00:34:53.400 So Paul says to Titus, look, I want you to tell 00:34:53.400 --> 00:34:55.480 the older women, and if they have to go house 00:34:55.480 --> 00:34:57.780 to house, door to door to do this, tell them 00:34:57.780 --> 00:35:00.820 to do it. Teach the younger women how they can 00:35:00.820 --> 00:35:03.079 become their husband's best and most intimate 00:35:03.079 --> 00:35:08.820 friend. Did you catch that? Teach them how to 00:35:08.820 --> 00:35:10.719 become their husband's best and most intimate 00:35:10.719 --> 00:35:14.099 friend. And that comes out of the language in 00:35:14.099 --> 00:35:17.920 the text because the word that Paul uses for 00:35:17.920 --> 00:35:21.320 love here is exactly that. He does not use agape 00:35:21.320 --> 00:35:24.599 here, which is the word for love that we're so 00:35:24.599 --> 00:35:28.280 used to seeing. It's not agape. He uses phileo, 00:35:28.360 --> 00:35:32.039 which when you combine it with the word for man, 00:35:32.119 --> 00:35:35.880 which is aner, you get philandros. There it is. 00:35:36.400 --> 00:35:40.480 It basically means love your man. Love your man, 00:35:40.539 --> 00:35:44.000 philandros. Notice again, this is not agape. 00:35:44.019 --> 00:35:46.360 I'll put these words on the screen. Agape is 00:35:46.360 --> 00:35:48.880 the highest form of love. It's self -sacrificial 00:35:48.880 --> 00:35:51.719 love. It's also not eros, which you might expect 00:35:51.719 --> 00:35:54.780 here, which is romantic or erotic love, sexual 00:35:54.780 --> 00:35:59.920 love. It is philia, and that is the love of a 00:35:59.920 --> 00:36:02.860 deep friendship. Now, isn't that interesting 00:36:02.860 --> 00:36:05.619 that in writing love your husbands, this is the 00:36:05.619 --> 00:36:08.000 word that Paul chooses. I want you to have a 00:36:08.000 --> 00:36:10.739 deep and intimate friendship with your husband. 00:36:11.719 --> 00:36:15.300 Now, by using that word, Paul's not saying don't 00:36:15.300 --> 00:36:17.579 be self -sacrificing. He's not trying to avoid 00:36:17.579 --> 00:36:20.340 the romantic side of it. He's simply highlighting 00:36:20.340 --> 00:36:24.079 this one aspect of marriage. So, younger ladies, 00:36:24.320 --> 00:36:26.940 listen to this now. You should strive to love 00:36:26.940 --> 00:36:31.190 your husband as his closest friend. His companion 00:36:31.190 --> 00:36:36.510 and his partner. And I can testify, now heading 00:36:36.510 --> 00:36:43.010 into my 35th year of marriage, that... It just 00:36:43.010 --> 00:36:46.909 means I'm old, y 'all. But I can testify that 00:36:46.909 --> 00:36:48.690 over the years, this is the thing that tends 00:36:48.690 --> 00:36:51.750 to be the most important ingredient in a healthy 00:36:51.750 --> 00:36:54.429 marriage. A level of friendship and affection 00:36:54.429 --> 00:36:58.920 for each other that is deep and satisfying. To 00:36:58.920 --> 00:37:00.960 long to be with that person. There is nothing 00:37:00.960 --> 00:37:03.780 in this life that I do on my own that I don't 00:37:03.780 --> 00:37:07.239 say, I wish I could share this with Tanya. That 00:37:07.239 --> 00:37:11.420 deep and satisfying friendship. So you're not 00:37:11.420 --> 00:37:13.219 always going to feel the rush of emotion later 00:37:13.219 --> 00:37:16.019 on that you felt in those early years. But over 00:37:16.019 --> 00:37:18.579 time, it becomes this beautiful, satisfied commitment 00:37:18.579 --> 00:37:22.119 that goes beyond just what you feel in any given 00:37:22.119 --> 00:37:23.840 moment. I know when you're young, you just feel 00:37:23.840 --> 00:37:27.579 so many things. But later it's a committed, satisfied 00:37:27.579 --> 00:37:32.039 feeling towards your wife. It's years and years 00:37:32.039 --> 00:37:35.019 of living side by side as one flesh, both in 00:37:35.019 --> 00:37:36.659 the good times and the bad and the ups and the 00:37:36.659 --> 00:37:39.019 downs, but in all of it celebrating what God 00:37:39.019 --> 00:37:41.460 has done in us. I once read this article and 00:37:41.460 --> 00:37:43.760 this statement really struck a chord with me 00:37:43.760 --> 00:37:46.039 about marriage. Listen to what it says. Marriage 00:37:46.039 --> 00:37:49.739 is not so much falling in love as it is committing 00:37:49.739 --> 00:37:53.780 to love and over time learning to love even more 00:37:53.780 --> 00:37:58.199 deeply. I think that's beautiful. And that really, 00:37:58.260 --> 00:38:01.239 I can just tell you from my experience, that's 00:38:01.239 --> 00:38:04.679 what it is. That's what it is. So ladies, if 00:38:04.679 --> 00:38:06.159 you don't love your husband in this friendship 00:38:06.159 --> 00:38:10.420 way, you've got to start cultivating it. You've 00:38:10.420 --> 00:38:12.719 got to plant it. You've got to tend it. You've 00:38:12.719 --> 00:38:15.179 got to nurture it. You've got to be intentional 00:38:15.179 --> 00:38:17.739 about this. Again, this is not just a suggestion 00:38:17.739 --> 00:38:21.539 for marriage. It's a command from God. It's got 00:38:21.539 --> 00:38:24.400 to be intentional. It requires effort. It requires 00:38:24.400 --> 00:38:28.139 care and attention to detail. It's going to require 00:38:28.139 --> 00:38:31.199 that you strive to be pure and kind and respectful 00:38:31.199 --> 00:38:33.619 in the power of the Holy Spirit as you ask him 00:38:33.619 --> 00:38:37.300 to help you do this well and to grow in it. What 00:38:37.300 --> 00:38:39.119 you want to do is to build up your husband. You 00:38:39.119 --> 00:38:41.940 want to be, change your thinking, be thankful 00:38:41.940 --> 00:38:45.360 for him. Even if he's hard to love, to be thankful 00:38:45.360 --> 00:38:48.769 for him. to seek to fill your home with peace 00:38:48.769 --> 00:38:52.469 and joy, to make your household a place that 00:38:52.469 --> 00:38:57.809 he longs to be in with you. This is what Paul's 00:38:57.809 --> 00:39:02.010 getting at here to Titus. Make sense? Now, again, 00:39:02.050 --> 00:39:04.170 I fully realize that some husbands are not very 00:39:04.170 --> 00:39:07.170 lovable, and it's hard. But notice Paul doesn't 00:39:07.170 --> 00:39:10.130 talk about the lovability of the man here. It's 00:39:10.130 --> 00:39:13.170 a command to the ladies, find a way to love him 00:39:13.170 --> 00:39:16.500 by the power of the Holy Spirit. And the reality 00:39:16.500 --> 00:39:18.420 is it's a marriage we all sin against each other, 00:39:18.480 --> 00:39:23.039 right? We do all the time. So any friendship 00:39:23.039 --> 00:39:25.960 love in a marriage is always going to be by grace 00:39:25.960 --> 00:39:30.340 and seasoned with constant forgiveness. This 00:39:30.340 --> 00:39:33.099 is just relationships in a fallen world. There 00:39:33.099 --> 00:39:35.039 have been times in my marriage, ask my wife, 00:39:35.139 --> 00:39:38.460 when I wasn't all that lovable. But Tanya never 00:39:38.460 --> 00:39:42.179 wavered. And so we still stand 35 years later 00:39:42.179 --> 00:39:46.050 as one flesh by God's grace. developing that 00:39:46.050 --> 00:39:49.730 friendship. Okay, the other command here that 00:39:49.730 --> 00:39:52.369 you see with love, also in verse four, is to 00:39:52.369 --> 00:39:55.130 love your children. Now, this one might seem 00:39:55.130 --> 00:39:56.989 strange. You're like, well, that's just a completely 00:39:56.989 --> 00:39:59.309 normal, natural thing. Doesn't every mother love 00:39:59.309 --> 00:40:02.150 her children? But I think what Paul's getting 00:40:02.150 --> 00:40:04.650 at here is he's encouraging not just feelings 00:40:04.650 --> 00:40:07.389 of affection for her children, but he wants these 00:40:07.389 --> 00:40:09.929 moms to implement certain actions that flow out 00:40:09.929 --> 00:40:12.710 of that love. You love your kids, great start. 00:40:13.190 --> 00:40:16.789 Now what actions flow out of that? Namely, cultivating 00:40:16.789 --> 00:40:19.190 in her children godly character as they grow. 00:40:21.150 --> 00:40:23.090 Godly character as they grow. The assumption 00:40:23.090 --> 00:40:25.769 in Paul's instruction here is that young women 00:40:25.769 --> 00:40:27.610 are going to need spiritual mothering in this. 00:40:28.250 --> 00:40:29.750 They're going to need help. They're going to 00:40:29.750 --> 00:40:32.289 need wise counsel from older ladies who now have 00:40:32.289 --> 00:40:36.170 grown children. I mean, look, if you're a parent, 00:40:36.210 --> 00:40:38.510 you know this. Raising kids is the hardest thing 00:40:38.510 --> 00:40:41.829 that God has ever given me to do. It is incredibly 00:40:41.829 --> 00:40:44.949 difficult. We all need help. And if you can find, 00:40:45.010 --> 00:40:47.769 ladies, an older woman, if she's operating from 00:40:47.769 --> 00:40:50.349 biblical principles, who can get in there and 00:40:50.349 --> 00:40:52.150 help you with parenting, that is an invaluable 00:40:52.150 --> 00:40:56.750 source of help. And so that's what Paul wants 00:40:56.750 --> 00:40:58.590 the older women to do. Get in there and help 00:40:58.590 --> 00:41:01.010 them with parenting. Set as your goal helping 00:41:01.010 --> 00:41:05.130 your kids to see you as an example of what it 00:41:05.130 --> 00:41:07.750 means to know Jesus and to walk with him. Help 00:41:07.750 --> 00:41:09.829 them develop that godliness in their lives by 00:41:09.829 --> 00:41:13.130 looking at your life. This is at the core of 00:41:13.130 --> 00:41:17.030 a mom's most important calling. Practically, 00:41:17.030 --> 00:41:20.150 this is what love looks like in parenting. So 00:41:20.150 --> 00:41:22.610 listen, if you thought, and man, there was a 00:41:22.610 --> 00:41:24.690 day when I thought this, so I'm just gonna, moment 00:41:24.690 --> 00:41:27.610 of transparency. If you thought that raising 00:41:27.610 --> 00:41:30.150 kids was just about making sure they're polite 00:41:30.150 --> 00:41:35.550 and obedient, that they get good grades in school, 00:41:36.639 --> 00:41:38.519 That they say all the right things to adults 00:41:38.519 --> 00:41:42.659 and that they don't embarrass you. If you thought 00:41:42.659 --> 00:41:45.340 that's what godly parenting was, let me help 00:41:45.340 --> 00:41:50.059 you come to your senses. All those things are 00:41:50.059 --> 00:41:52.800 good. But the most important way a mother can 00:41:52.800 --> 00:41:54.599 love her children is to point them to Christ. 00:41:55.360 --> 00:41:57.820 To be an example of what it means to know Christ 00:41:57.820 --> 00:42:01.639 and then to point them to him. And that means, 00:42:01.699 --> 00:42:04.500 moms, you've got to be growing in the Lord. Right? 00:42:04.559 --> 00:42:07.300 The best gift you can give your kids, moms, is 00:42:07.300 --> 00:42:09.199 for you to be growing personally in your walk 00:42:09.199 --> 00:42:11.480 with Jesus so they see that, and then when you 00:42:11.480 --> 00:42:14.119 teach them, they see that connection between 00:42:14.119 --> 00:42:16.739 your life and what you're saying. And that's 00:42:16.739 --> 00:42:18.579 a great challenge as well. That's how you love 00:42:18.579 --> 00:42:23.739 your children. So, there's one more instruction 00:42:23.739 --> 00:42:27.320 now for younger women. And let's see, can I just 00:42:27.320 --> 00:42:29.920 share this with you, ladies? This is something 00:42:29.920 --> 00:42:32.039 I've been thinking about all week. There is no 00:42:32.039 --> 00:42:35.119 way to overstate the importance of the role that 00:42:35.119 --> 00:42:38.679 God has given you in building families and building 00:42:38.679 --> 00:42:42.400 healthy churches. It is amazing. God has designed 00:42:42.400 --> 00:42:46.820 you magnificently and wonderfully, and he has 00:42:46.820 --> 00:42:48.800 such an important role for you to play if you'll 00:42:48.800 --> 00:42:53.800 just embrace it and not fight against it. Men, 00:42:53.960 --> 00:42:57.869 we need you. We need you as compliments. We need 00:42:57.869 --> 00:43:00.570 you as helpers. We need you to fulfill God's 00:43:00.570 --> 00:43:02.989 purposes. Men need you. You are a blessing to 00:43:02.989 --> 00:43:05.210 us. You're a blessing to the world. You glorify 00:43:05.210 --> 00:43:08.590 God in all the ways that he's designed you. So 00:43:08.590 --> 00:43:10.489 don't ever accept this idea that you're somehow 00:43:10.489 --> 00:43:13.309 just a second -class citizen in this marriage 00:43:13.309 --> 00:43:15.929 or in this church or whatever, whatever lie you've 00:43:15.929 --> 00:43:18.849 been told. You are fearfully and wonderfully 00:43:18.849 --> 00:43:22.630 made. Okay, one more instruction here. Now, I 00:43:22.630 --> 00:43:26.110 even hesitate to jump into this now. at 11, 14, 00:43:26.309 --> 00:43:30.449 because this last thing is so complex and so 00:43:30.449 --> 00:43:33.769 full of nuance, but I can't ignore it either. 00:43:33.889 --> 00:43:35.809 So let's look at it. Look at the end of verse 00:43:35.809 --> 00:43:39.170 five. Paul says to Titus, make sure the young 00:43:39.170 --> 00:43:42.250 women are being subject to or submissive to their 00:43:42.250 --> 00:43:45.829 own husbands. So this could be a sermon series, 00:43:46.050 --> 00:43:52.239 right? It's so... It's difficult. This is hard. 00:43:52.300 --> 00:43:55.199 This is controversial. But listen now, it is 00:43:55.199 --> 00:43:59.780 also so essential to a healthy marriage. It amazes 00:43:59.780 --> 00:44:01.900 me that something that is so essential, the correct 00:44:01.900 --> 00:44:04.559 ordering of a marriage, has become so controversial. 00:44:05.619 --> 00:44:07.679 And again, why is that? Because of our flesh, 00:44:07.739 --> 00:44:10.079 because of our sin, because of what happened 00:44:10.079 --> 00:44:13.289 in Genesis. We fight against it. Even though 00:44:13.289 --> 00:44:15.210 it's God's design, and even though when you see 00:44:15.210 --> 00:44:17.730 it happening in your marriage, this beautiful 00:44:17.730 --> 00:44:20.170 design of headship and submission, when you're 00:44:20.170 --> 00:44:23.250 in that sweet spot where both husband and wife 00:44:23.250 --> 00:44:25.889 are fulfilling their roles well, it is the best 00:44:25.889 --> 00:44:28.449 thing in the world. It is so sweet. And yet, 00:44:28.489 --> 00:44:30.429 what do we do? No thank you. Kick against it. 00:44:30.670 --> 00:44:38.030 Ah. It's just stuck in my flesh. So for today 00:44:38.030 --> 00:44:39.949 here, I'll just say a few things. And I shared 00:44:39.949 --> 00:44:42.650 this earlier. Male headship. And female submission 00:44:42.650 --> 00:44:46.969 is God's divine order for marriage. And it is 00:44:46.969 --> 00:44:50.710 rooted in his perfect creation before the fall. 00:44:52.030 --> 00:44:54.949 Does not mean that the wife becomes a husband's 00:44:54.949 --> 00:44:59.710 slave or doormat. It definitely does not mean 00:44:59.710 --> 00:45:04.110 that she should follow him into sin. She does 00:45:04.110 --> 00:45:08.090 not lose her voice or her opinion or her wisdom 00:45:08.090 --> 00:45:11.309 when she submits to her husband. In every way, 00:45:11.349 --> 00:45:14.789 the wife is ontologically equal to him, equal 00:45:14.789 --> 00:45:17.630 in being, equal in value, yet with a different 00:45:17.630 --> 00:45:22.409 function and role to play. Correct? And we see 00:45:22.409 --> 00:45:24.769 this modeled even in the Trinitarian Godhead. 00:45:25.570 --> 00:45:28.570 Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Absolutely equal 00:45:28.570 --> 00:45:33.489 in every way, yet with different functions. One 00:45:33.489 --> 00:45:37.230 submitting to the other, right? And just to define 00:45:37.230 --> 00:45:41.260 this more clearly, oh, and by the way, This should 00:45:41.260 --> 00:45:43.860 be said as well. By submitting to her husband, 00:45:43.980 --> 00:45:48.340 a wife is actually submitting to Christ. You 00:45:48.340 --> 00:45:50.179 almost have to look past the knucklehead. No, 00:45:50.260 --> 00:45:54.440 I'm just kidding. You have to look past the guy 00:45:54.440 --> 00:45:58.400 and his faults as a sinner and see Christ. You're 00:45:58.400 --> 00:46:00.920 submitting to Christ. This is a hard thing to 00:46:00.920 --> 00:46:03.340 grasp, but when you submit to your husband, it's 00:46:03.340 --> 00:46:08.199 actually an act of worship. I'll just let that 00:46:08.199 --> 00:46:11.610 sit there. That's a hard one. But to define clearly 00:46:11.610 --> 00:46:14.389 what this means, when the New Testament authors 00:46:14.389 --> 00:46:16.610 use this word for submission, it's hupotasso 00:46:16.610 --> 00:46:18.550 in the Greek, and it needs to be understood. 00:46:18.769 --> 00:46:22.070 It means to order yourself or arrange yourself 00:46:22.070 --> 00:46:25.269 under another. It was often used in military 00:46:25.269 --> 00:46:28.349 context where, look, everybody in the military 00:46:28.349 --> 00:46:31.349 is of equal value, but they rank one another 00:46:31.349 --> 00:46:34.769 below each other based on some functional order. 00:46:35.630 --> 00:46:39.510 So what that means is... Submission is a voluntary 00:46:39.510 --> 00:46:42.050 act on the part of the wife. She submits not 00:46:42.050 --> 00:46:44.289 because her husband demands that she submit. 00:46:44.349 --> 00:46:47.389 She submits because God calls her to do that. 00:46:47.510 --> 00:46:50.110 And so she voluntarily says, because God said 00:46:50.110 --> 00:46:52.949 it, and I want to be obedient, I will arrange 00:46:52.949 --> 00:46:57.489 myself underneath him as his helper, which is 00:46:57.489 --> 00:47:01.130 a beautiful picture. She submits because God 00:47:01.130 --> 00:47:04.750 commands it, and her response to that is freely 00:47:04.750 --> 00:47:10.130 given. to order herself under her husband. And 00:47:10.130 --> 00:47:12.809 again, we know it again. It begins with a heart 00:47:12.809 --> 00:47:16.489 posture and an attitude within that then determines 00:47:16.489 --> 00:47:19.530 how she acts. And none of us gets this right, 00:47:19.590 --> 00:47:22.230 by the way. Men don't lead perfectly. Women don't 00:47:22.230 --> 00:47:24.610 submit perfectly. But this is the model we've 00:47:24.610 --> 00:47:28.369 been given, and it's beautiful if we'll embrace 00:47:28.369 --> 00:47:32.630 it. And as many of you know, by the way, the 00:47:32.630 --> 00:47:36.199 ordering of Christian marriage is actually has 00:47:36.199 --> 00:47:40.360 a higher purpose in that it reflects the relationship 00:47:40.360 --> 00:47:44.260 of Christ and his church, right? Right? The husband, 00:47:44.420 --> 00:47:48.000 with the husband loving their wife sacrificially, 00:47:48.039 --> 00:47:50.880 as Christ has loved you and I sacrificially, 00:47:51.000 --> 00:47:53.639 and then the wife submitting to their husbands 00:47:53.639 --> 00:47:56.300 as we as a body are called to submit to him. 00:47:57.019 --> 00:48:01.579 So again, this is so nuanced and so complex and 00:48:01.579 --> 00:48:03.320 so important, but there's all these layers of 00:48:03.320 --> 00:48:06.409 meaning to this idea of submission. Let's embrace 00:48:06.409 --> 00:48:12.730 it, can we? All right. I got a yes from my wife. 00:48:14.949 --> 00:48:23.650 Winning. All right. Turning red again. Okay, 00:48:23.710 --> 00:48:26.489 I'm going to close with this because I know my 00:48:26.489 --> 00:48:28.429 time is short. If you look at the end of verse 00:48:28.429 --> 00:48:32.230 5, you'll notice that Paul ends these commands 00:48:32.230 --> 00:48:35.260 to younger women with a warning. Look what he 00:48:35.260 --> 00:48:37.860 says. He says, ladies, do all these things. Live 00:48:37.860 --> 00:48:40.920 this way so that the word of God will not be 00:48:40.920 --> 00:48:45.280 dishonored. So the world out there doesn't slander 00:48:45.280 --> 00:48:49.559 God's word or discredit God's word. Blow it off. 00:48:52.000 --> 00:48:54.059 As I said at the outset, the world is watching, 00:48:54.139 --> 00:48:57.300 and they're watching our marriages, and they're 00:48:57.300 --> 00:49:00.480 watching our families. And if I could just draw 00:49:00.480 --> 00:49:02.960 the puzzle of what we face in choosing to either 00:49:02.960 --> 00:49:06.440 obey these things or not obey them, it's a good 00:49:06.440 --> 00:49:08.820 question to ask, ladies. Do you shy away from 00:49:08.820 --> 00:49:11.719 striving to be this type of woman for some reason? 00:49:12.360 --> 00:49:15.599 Would you shy away from this for some reason? 00:49:16.119 --> 00:49:20.119 And only you can answer that question. Let's 00:49:20.119 --> 00:49:22.579 just say that you look at these commands and 00:49:22.579 --> 00:49:25.559 you think to yourself, this is too antiquated. 00:49:25.559 --> 00:49:29.579 This is too traditional for who I am. And I don't 00:49:29.579 --> 00:49:32.239 see how living this way would ever actually draw 00:49:32.239 --> 00:49:35.780 people to Christ. It doesn't make sense to me. 00:49:36.679 --> 00:49:38.739 Wouldn't it be better if I was a little more 00:49:38.739 --> 00:49:41.480 like the world to draw the world? But if I'm 00:49:41.480 --> 00:49:45.659 this traditional wife doing these things, am 00:49:45.659 --> 00:49:47.539 I actually going to repel people? Maybe I'll 00:49:47.539 --> 00:49:50.079 do it my way here in my family, and that way 00:49:50.079 --> 00:49:53.119 more of my friends will start asking questions 00:49:53.119 --> 00:49:56.380 about Jesus. Let's just say that's your thinking, 00:49:56.440 --> 00:49:58.500 because I've heard that before. Literally women 00:49:58.500 --> 00:50:00.579 who say, yeah, I can kind of see why this is 00:50:00.579 --> 00:50:03.199 good, but I don't see how it actually attracts 00:50:03.199 --> 00:50:05.980 people to Christ. Let's just say that, though. 00:50:06.039 --> 00:50:09.019 What happens then if one of these people you 00:50:09.019 --> 00:50:11.679 have in mind starts to look into the things of 00:50:11.679 --> 00:50:15.300 God? Isn't it likely that at one point they're 00:50:15.300 --> 00:50:18.099 going to open up a Bible and see the commands 00:50:18.099 --> 00:50:21.780 about marriage and family and say, you told me 00:50:21.780 --> 00:50:23.780 you believe in everything this book says, but 00:50:23.780 --> 00:50:31.750 you don't do this in your life. Hmm. Basically, 00:50:31.750 --> 00:50:33.809 you revere yourself as a functional hypocrite. 00:50:33.889 --> 00:50:36.369 You say you trust in Jesus, but you're intentionally 00:50:36.369 --> 00:50:38.969 ignoring his word in the most personal aspects 00:50:38.969 --> 00:50:42.269 of your life. In your own wisdom, you thought 00:50:42.269 --> 00:50:44.989 that would be best. And two things come out of 00:50:44.989 --> 00:50:47.630 that. First of all, it becomes a legitimate question. 00:50:47.730 --> 00:50:50.909 If you truly love him, why would you ignore his 00:50:50.909 --> 00:50:54.070 commands? But secondly, might your friend think, 00:50:54.210 --> 00:50:56.150 well, what else does she believe but not do? 00:50:58.159 --> 00:51:01.019 Are there other things that she says she believes 00:51:01.019 --> 00:51:03.960 but she doesn't do and therefore is the Christian 00:51:03.960 --> 00:51:07.119 life about picking and choosing what works for 00:51:07.119 --> 00:51:10.039 me? Is that what I'm supposed to grasp from this? 00:51:11.599 --> 00:51:15.320 Now the harder path that you can take is to say, 00:51:15.420 --> 00:51:17.659 you know what, I'm going to trust God's wisdom 00:51:17.659 --> 00:51:19.780 and I'm going to conform to God's design for 00:51:19.780 --> 00:51:22.639 my marriage and for my family, albeit imperfectly, 00:51:22.639 --> 00:51:25.130 but I'm going to strive for that. And even if 00:51:25.130 --> 00:51:26.829 some people out there, my friends, neighbors, 00:51:26.969 --> 00:51:29.829 whatever, sort of mock me for it or turn up their 00:51:29.829 --> 00:51:33.030 nose at how I choose to live, I'm going to remember 00:51:33.030 --> 00:51:36.730 that Scripture says I'm blessed for that. I'm 00:51:36.730 --> 00:51:38.869 actually blessed when others persecute me for 00:51:38.869 --> 00:51:40.929 doing what God says. And I'm going to hold to 00:51:40.929 --> 00:51:43.550 that because I'm walking in a way that's consistent 00:51:43.550 --> 00:51:46.210 with my profession of faith. I'm not going to 00:51:46.210 --> 00:51:49.199 be a hypocrite. I'm not. I'm going to be a faithful 00:51:49.199 --> 00:51:52.199 servant who takes God's word seriously. And when 00:51:52.199 --> 00:51:55.300 it comes to drawing people to the gospel, I'm 00:51:55.300 --> 00:51:56.860 going to trust that God is sovereign in that. 00:51:57.199 --> 00:51:59.280 I'm not going to try to manipulate that or try 00:51:59.280 --> 00:52:01.840 to be something I shouldn't be in order to draw 00:52:01.840 --> 00:52:05.420 people. That's God's business. I'm simply going 00:52:05.420 --> 00:52:08.360 to live faithfully before my friends. And then 00:52:08.360 --> 00:52:11.619 if one of those mockers someday starts to read 00:52:11.619 --> 00:52:13.400 the Bible or comes to know Christ for themselves, 00:52:13.559 --> 00:52:15.380 guess what? They're going to look at it and go, 00:52:15.460 --> 00:52:19.679 oh. This is why you live that way. Now I get 00:52:19.679 --> 00:52:24.320 it. And that's what you want, friends. So which 00:52:24.320 --> 00:52:25.860 is it going to be? Will you allow God's word 00:52:25.860 --> 00:52:28.039 to be dishonored in pursuit of your own way? 00:52:29.119 --> 00:52:32.219 Or will you trust that his way is always best? 00:52:32.920 --> 00:52:36.119 His way is best for you personally, and it's 00:52:36.119 --> 00:52:39.340 best for your witness to the world because they 00:52:39.340 --> 00:52:43.420 are watching. Again, Dr. MacArthur had it right. 00:52:43.480 --> 00:52:46.139 If the saving grace of Christ is to reach men, 00:52:46.360 --> 00:52:48.599 it's going to depend on the character of the 00:52:48.599 --> 00:52:51.199 church. And let me add to that, in a very unique 00:52:51.199 --> 00:52:53.780 way, it's going to depend on the character and 00:52:53.780 --> 00:52:57.400 the heart of our younger women. So you have a 00:52:57.400 --> 00:52:59.980 huge and important role to play in your marriages, 00:53:00.019 --> 00:53:03.219 in your families, as an ambassador for Christ. 00:53:04.659 --> 00:53:09.719 Embrace it. Believe it. And live it. Amen? Let's 00:53:09.719 --> 00:53:20.190 bow our heads. Father, once again, I'm amazed 00:53:20.190 --> 00:53:23.489 at just the practical nature of your word. Lord, 00:53:23.590 --> 00:53:26.829 you give us these lofty truths, these beautiful 00:53:26.829 --> 00:53:30.550 principles for us to see in the text, but then 00:53:30.550 --> 00:53:34.610 also the street -level things that we need to 00:53:34.610 --> 00:53:36.809 do, Lord, to please you and to be a good witness 00:53:36.809 --> 00:53:39.829 in the world. And Lord, as I said in the sermon, 00:53:39.949 --> 00:53:43.369 I know how hard it is, how difficult it is to 00:53:43.369 --> 00:53:45.730 be any young person today, but to be a younger 00:53:45.730 --> 00:53:49.550 woman, to have to, Try to figure out life in 00:53:49.550 --> 00:53:51.650 the midst of all these voices. Lord, would you 00:53:51.650 --> 00:53:54.349 just bless each of these younger women who are 00:53:54.349 --> 00:53:57.369 here today in a special way? Would you help them 00:53:57.369 --> 00:54:00.670 to shut out those voices that we know are not 00:54:00.670 --> 00:54:04.889 of you, voices that are lying to them, manipulating 00:54:04.889 --> 00:54:08.429 them, and help them to just center themselves 00:54:08.429 --> 00:54:11.110 on the things that you have called them to be 00:54:11.110 --> 00:54:13.769 and the things that you've called them to do 00:54:13.769 --> 00:54:17.920 and to rest in that. knowing that your divine 00:54:17.920 --> 00:54:21.400 instructions are always best for us. Father, 00:54:21.460 --> 00:54:24.519 we thank you that you are in the process of continuing 00:54:24.519 --> 00:54:29.039 to put in order this local church. And I pray 00:54:29.039 --> 00:54:31.880 that all of us will arrange ourselves under your 00:54:31.880 --> 00:54:34.320 perfect design. Help us to do that, male, female, 00:54:34.579 --> 00:54:37.579 older, younger. Help us to submit to you in all 00:54:37.579 --> 00:54:40.360 things. Thank you, Lord Jesus, for our time together 00:54:40.360 --> 00:54:42.880 this morning. Do a great work in us because of 00:54:42.880 --> 00:54:45.139 this time we've had in your word. In Jesus' name 00:54:45.139 --> 00:54:46.139 we pray. Amen.