Well, I hope you're ready for a bit of a journey
together this morning. Last night, I went back
in my mind and I started, maybe you've done this
before, started calculating the number of years
that I have been a part of one church or another.
And I believe it's up to 37 years now in the
church, which is a lot of time to learn just
a few things about how the church was designed
by God to function. And along the way, I've been
able to observe in a practical sense what it's,
I think it's supposed to look like. First, from
the congregation's view, which my wife and I
were privileged for 13 years of our lives together
to be where you are in the seats before I went
into full -time ministry and to see it from that
angle. But then for the past 24 years to be able
to observe the church from what we call the back
room where the staff and the leaders operate.
And now after all these years stepping back,
I can say that it has been an amazing journey
to grow as a serious student of church life,
to read about it in scripture, to read about
it in the pages of church history, and then also
to participate it personally in a number of local
bodies. And let me share with you why I'm starting
there this morning. Among the many things that
I have seen in the church over all those years,
two matters. Two matters came to my heart and
my mind this week that connect with our study
in Titus chapter 2. And here they are. Number
one, that older believers in the church often
get dismissed by leadership. Older believers
get dismissed. They tend to get pushed aside
in favor of what some would call more vibrant
and relevant ministry. Translation, a younger
methodology that is... more in line with the
culture, and more prone to draw visitors. That
is all too common in the church today. And sadly,
by pushing aside our seniors, the church forfeits
one of its greatest resources, all of that experience
and wisdom and godly example. The second thing
I've noticed is that in many churches, women
are also overlooked by leadership. maybe unintentionally
get treated almost like second -class citizens
in the body. And there is no reasonable justification
for that. In both Scripture and in church history,
we have so many examples of God working through
women in powerful ways. And we have statements
from the Apostle Paul, for example, who lists
women as valuable co -workers in his gospel mission,
women like Priscilla and Phoebe and Junia and
Lydia. And then in the Old Testament, we have
this great example of Naomi in the book of Ruth,
this older woman who is so, so godly. And we
have the examples of Lois and Eunice, the mother
and grandmother who raised and instructed young
Timothy. So we've got all these great examples,
but in the Christian world today, which if you
haven't noticed is extremely polarized, churches
seem to think that they have to choose between
one extreme or the other. regarding the roles
of men and women in ministry rather than just
looking at Scripture and settling on what God
has declared. And what has he said? A, that spiritual
leadership should be in the hands of qualified
male elders. But B, that both men and women can
participate in every other area of ministry in
appropriate ways. So it's actually not that complicated,
but we've made it complicated because, again,
you have some churches that want to remove all
gender distinctions. As if that subject doesn't
matter to God, just wipe it away. And then you
have other churches that are so strong on male
headship that they go out of their way to deny
women opportunities to serve. And in the process,
they squash the spirit of the women in the church.
And because of those types of mistakes. What
the church looks like today is fairly chaotic,
confused, frustrated. There's a whole bunch of
church hurt within the body of Christ. And we
have, to some extent, damaged our witness before
the unbelieving world. So in saying all that,
here's the principle I want to open this message
with. Part one, do not write off the older saints
in the church. Honor them. Respect them. Celebrate
their presence. And where possible, learn from
them. And part two, women are an essential part
of ministry in the church. They always have been.
So let's make sure that we build them up and
equip them to accomplish the works of service
that God has laid out for them to walk in. Amen?
Now, if you combine those two categories of people
I just mentioned, older saints and women, you
get a very specific group of people who are very
precious in the body of Christ, our older ladies.
I can get a whoop whoop for the older ladies?
Amen. And they are the focus of what Paul is
going to address next in Titus chapter 2. And
what we're going to see is the godly older women
have a critical role to play in making the bride
of Christ more beautiful for her bridegroom.
So grab your Bibles. We're going to Titus chapter
2 if you're not there already. If you're newer
with us or visiting this morning, we've been
working our way through this very important section
in Titus 2, verses 1 through 8, and continuing
to ask that question that you see on the screen.
How can we, and we can make this personal, how
can we at Oak Hill develop into a more healthy
body and a more beautiful bride, one that displays
the splendor of Christ to a watching world? That's
what's on Paul's heart as he writes to Titus,
exhorting him to address four different categories
of people in the churches of Crete. Older men,
older women, younger women, and then younger
men. Now last Sunday we talked about that first
group, right? How many of you guys were here
for the older men sermon? Good. Figured it all
out. Good. Now this Sunday, next Sunday, we get
to focus on the ladies, and we're going to talk
about older ladies in particular this morning.
So we're going to read through verse 5. But then
we're gonna come back and focus on verses three
and four in particular. So here's what God's
word says. Verse one, but as for you, Titus,
speak or proclaim the things which are fitting
or consistent with sound doctrine. Underline
that term, sound doctrine. Older men are to be
temperate. We talked about that last week. Sober
-minded, dignified, worthy of respect. insensible
or self -controlled, and sound in faith, in love,
and in perseverance or endurance. Verse 3 now.
Older women, likewise, are to be reverent in
their behavior, not malicious gossips, nor enslaved
to much wine, teaching what is good so that they
may encourage the young women to love their husbands,
to love their children, to be sensible, pure,
workers at home, kind. being subject to their
own husbands, so that the word of God will not
be dishonored. So we're going to stop there.
Now, I'm asked the same question this morning
that I started with last week, and that is, what
qualifies somebody to be called older? At what
age does that actually kick in? When it comes
to older women, once again, Paul doesn't give
us a number, and obviously that's intentional.
So we're going to have to... take what's written
here in the first century and adapt it to our
context. And as I suggested last Sunday, for
us, I think there's logic in defining older as
50 years or older, 50 years or older. When a
woman gets into her 50s and 60s, any children
that she had have been raised to adulthood. At
that point, some ladies have grandchildren. They
are dealing with elderly parents or even parents
that have passed away. If they've been working,
they're talking about retiring because, man,
the old body gets tired, right? And maybe they
have a husband who's also moving towards retirement.
So I think 50 is sort of a major division in
the season of life for both men and women. I
think that's probably a good number for us to
have in mind as we think through this passage.
So here's how I want to lay this message out.
I want to start by expositing what Paul says
are the character qualities of a godly older
woman in verse 3. And then we're going to dive
into a really big subject. And I know a subject
that is near and dear to the hearts of many of
you ladies. What does it mean to teach and to
encourage younger women in the church as a mentor
and a discipler? So we'll get to all that this
morning. Now, let's jump into verse 3. By the
way, I know that as soon as I gave this morning
last week as well, as soon as I say we're going
to focus on older women, a bunch of you checked
out. Please don't do that. There are always biblical
principles we can learn from when we study the
scriptures, true? So there's something here for
you, and especially to younger ladies, you are
involved in what Paul says to the older ladies
here. Trust me, you're involved, and one day
you'll be one of them. Lord willing, you'll get
there someday. And it happens fast, as I mentioned
last week. Okay, as we jump into verse 3, let's
not forget the foundation that we established
last week. Every exhortation in this section
of Titus for every category believer is built
on what Paul emphasizes in verse 1, that Titus
should make sure that only things rooted in sound
doctrine are to be proclaimed in the churches.
That phrase, sound doctrine, is very important.
What does that mean? Things consistent with Scripture,
with apostolic teaching. And for the older women
in verse 3, that means focusing on the type of
character they ought to have that then overflows
into godly action. So look at verse 3 again.
Older women likewise are to be reverent in their
behavior. Now, reverent is obviously the key
word here, but don't miss the word likewise.
That word is in the original Greek text. And
so Paul's referencing back to what he just wrote
about older men. So older women, he says, are
to be mature in the same ways that he mentioned
about older men. What does that mean? Sober -minded,
dignified, self -controlled, sound in faith,
love, and endurance. All those characteristics
we looked at last Sunday. We're now going to
see that Paul has some very specific things in
mind for the ladies. Then that's coming. Why?
Because there are unique opportunities for women
in ministry, and there are unique temptations
that women face, especially when they get over
50 years old. Now, Paul uses an interesting word
here in verse 3 to sort of sum up this godly
character and behavior of older women in the
church. He uses the English word reverent. Now,
here's what that word looks like in the original
Greek. It is a very strange word. For you Greek
students, it's a strange word and difficult to
pronounce. It's a very strange word. It's the
only time this word is used in the entire New
Testament. It's very unique. And then what's
really interesting about it is it appears that
Paul lifted this word from Greek culture and
then applied it here in his letter. We have a
thoroughly Jewish man in Paul, once a Pharisee.
but also educated in the nuances of Greek culture,
he now grabs hold of what we might call a cultural
word to exhort the older women in Crete, obviously
thinking they will understand what this word
means. And sometimes we call this doing contextual
ministry, reaching to a foreign culture with
words and symbols and images that new believers
coming out of paganism would be familiar with.
So this is what he's doing here. It's funny,
when you do the research on where this word comes
from, you see some of the greatest thinkers of
antiquity using this in their writings. Xenophon
uses this word in the 5th century B .C. Plato.
uses this word in the third century BC. Even
Philo of Alexandria, some of you guys know him.
He's a contemporary, first century contemporary
of both Paul and Titus. They use this word. And
when they use it, they basically use it in that
context. One who lives a sacred life. That's
what he's pointing to here. One who lives a sacred
life. In fact, this word in Greek literature
is often used in the context describing a priest
or priestess operating in a pagan table. pagan
temple, meaning that the way the Greeks saw this
person was they were so holy, they were able
to actually be in the presence of the Greek gods.
Now, obviously, Paul lifts this word out of the
culture, and he is going to repurpose it for
the Christian faith. And what he seems to mean
is he wants older women in the churches of Crete
to be holy and righteous in their walk with Christ,
to exhibit the highest moral standards possible.
Being a woman that can abide in the presence
of God because of their sacred character and
their godly lives. So in adapting this word,
he lays out a very high calling for older women
in the church. Now, we should make sure that
we don't add meaning to what Paul intends here.
He's not saying that women should operate in
priestly roles in the church. That's not the
context. He's not talking about a church office
here. He's simply talking about older women in
the church possessing this inner righteousness,
these purified hearts that lead to sacred behavior
on the outside. So you see the word behavior
there. That's not the focus. It's what's in the
heart that leads to that behavior. That's why
he adds that phrase. In my opinion, it's better
to read in their demeanor. They're to be reverent
in their demeanor, meaning in the context of
their daily lives, the way they think. The way
they act, the way they carry themselves should
be appropriate for a woman engaged in sacred
ministry. Again, a very high calling. In his
first letter to Timothy, Paul adds a little more
color and texture to this. You probably know
this verse. He says, So this is a kind of demeanor
that is not put on. It's not an external show
for others to see. It's real. It's authentic.
It comes from deep within her heart. She is reverent
towards the things of God. And she is reverent
in her marriage and in her home. And she is reverent
in the way she ministers in the church. And she's
reverent in the way she carries herself as a
testimony before unbelievers. This is what marks
the godly older. That's the overarching character
trait that he gives us. And these are things,
ladies, that you should be striving for. Now,
as we continue in verse 3, we're going to see
Paul now address two very specific issues that
these older women need to hear. And knowing the
culture there in Crete, my understanding of this
is that Paul looked out there and said, look,
I'm aware of a couple of potential stumbling
blocks. for the older women in these particular
churches. Two things. And the first one, he says,
is not to be a malicious gossip. Now, I do not
like that translation. I love my NASB, but I
do not like that translation. Unfortunately,
this is sometimes what translation committees
do. We call it editorial eisegesis. What they
do is they inject meaning into the text in order
to make a point about what they suspect the original
author intended to say. But that is not really
a literal translation. Now, gossip may be a part
of what Paul is talking about here, but the Greek
verb is very clear. It refers to slander. It
refers to slander. These older women are not
to be slanderers. And by the way, it's just one
word in the Greek text, and it's a serious word.
It's diabolos. You've probably heard that word.
It's the same word translated devil. Think about
that. It makes sense. What is the devil known
as? The accuser or the slanderer of the brethren.
We also get our word diabolical from this, which
is why I think the NASB translators didn't just
write gossips. They wrote malicious gossips because
the devil is always malicious in what he does.
So that's what's happening there. So I don't
think this is an overstatement. It's safe to
say that when we as Christians twist the truth
and slander people, we are doing the devil's
work. I think that's part of what's being communicated.
It's very serious in God's eyes. So a reverent
older woman is going to consistently speak truth,
even when it's difficult. She's not going to
shade the truth, even when it's hard. She'll
speak the truth in love. She's not going to be
running around making false accusations against
people. She's not going to assume impure motives
in others. She's not going to be out there trying
to tear other people down or to spread rumors
or half -truths that bring harm to people. All
of those things come out of a very ugly heart.
Instead, she's working and striving, not perfect,
but striving to tame her tongue, to be careful
when she speaks, to think before she speaks,
to be slow to speak, being careful not to lie,
careful not to exaggerate, careful not to have
a critical spirit. Again, high calling, right?
Now, you may object to what Paul does here. I've
seen this come up in certain circles where a
subtle form of feminism has crept into the church.
The objection goes like this. Why does the apostle
only speak to women when it comes to slander
and gossip? That's so sexist, right? But look,
we should be honest. We should be honest with
each other when it comes to the sexes. Men have
all kinds of unique and awful sins, as do women.
Men have a tendency to sin physically, and sometimes
with violence, we get rough and aggressive and
pugnacious. We can also slander and gossip. Don't
get me wrong. We can do that as well. But whereas
men are more likely to sin physically, women,
not in all cases, but on average, women are more
prone to fall into sin verbally. Whispering.
things in private, gossiping amongst themselves,
becoming petty, becoming critical. So when you
see things like this in Scripture, don't be offended
by it. It is common to our nature, and female
sins are no better or no worse than male sins.
So receive it. It's from God. Ladies, nod your
head. Okay, good. Do you know how nervous preachers
get when you preach to women? It is a minefield.
I already asked, I was talking to Grant by text
yesterday. I'm like, pray for me. This is a minefield.
So thank you for your grace. Okay, back to verse
three now. Well, that was a moment of transparency.
Didn't plan on that. The second behavior that
an older woman must avoid is being enslaved to
too much wine. Now, I've said it recently. I'll
say it again. Drinking wine is not a sin. No
matter. What some legalists try to lay on you.
In the ancient world, wine was all about, it
marked celebration. And oftentimes it marked
celebrating blessings from God. And that's the
way Jesus looked at it. Yes, he turned water
into actual wine at that wedding in Cana. Now,
you may have a conviction. We talked about convictions
last week. You may have a conviction not to drink
alcohol at all for personal reasons. And I honor
that. And I thank God. If that's your conviction,
the Spirit's put that on your heart and you're
obeying it, I thank God for that. But as I shared
last week, if that's your conviction, let it
be your conviction. Don't apply it to everybody
else because then you do become a legalist and
you do the work of a Pharisee. Now, having said
that, we all have to agree that being enslaved
to wine is a sin. That's obviously a sin because
Scripture calls it a sin. And the older women
who seeks to be reverent must not be enslaved
to any substance, not just wine. And again, the
objection may come up, why only talk to women
about this? But there is some interesting historical
data about this. Among the upper classes of Greek
and Roman society, excessive drinking was extremely
common. In fact, it was often seen as a virtue.
It showed how wealthy you are that you can drink
all of this wine and get completely tipsy and
act a fool. That was seen as a virtue. And it's
likely that Paul knew something about this on
the island of Crete. I also think it's possible
that Paul is making a connection here between
drinking too much and gossip or slander. Because,
right, when you drink too much, your tongue gets
really, really loose and you lose control. That's
a legit connection. So again, we shouldn't be
offended by this. And by the way, we shouldn't
forget that this same... The same prohibition
for not being enslaved to wine shows up in both
Timothy and Titus in the list of requirements
for male elders. They're not to be addicted to
this substance. And here's the overarching principle.
It's not just about wine. It's about slavery
to sin in general. The reverent older woman has
enough years under her belt now where she is
no longer controlled. by her appetites and her
wants and desires. She's not in slavery to them
anymore. And this is hopefully what age does
to you. Walking with Christ for a number of years
will do for you. She's now spirit -controlled.
And when you're spirit -controlled, you're not
prone to excess in anything in life, not just
wine and alcohol, but things like food and exercise
and recreation and entertainment and social media
and shopping and spending. all the things that
we can become enslaved to. As we get older, we
should be getting victory over those things and
being controlled by the Spirit. So a godly older
woman lives the Spirit -guided life so that she
can be devoted to the right things, to the one
thing that will not fade away but endure forever,
and that is the sacred purposes of the Lord.
That's what you want to be addicted to. Amen?
Now, ladies. That's the character standard that
Paul lays out for you as you grow older. And
I know it's a daunting standard. And I know that
some of you already have said, well, scratch
me off that list. I will never be that reverent.
But I don't want you to be overwhelmed by this.
I really don't. This is similar to that elder
qualification of being above reproach. Every
man who's ever looked at that says, scratch me
off that list. I will never be that. And if we
started defining that as, well, I have to be
perfect in every area, there would be no elders
in any church anywhere. And the same thing is
true of this. This isn't a call to perfection.
We all stumble at times, but these are the things
that will consistently mark the life of a godly
older woman because she's striving after them
by the power of the Holy Spirit. And when you're
striving after those things with a clean conscience
and a pure heart, the spirit will come in and
will start to move you in that direction. That's
a promise we have from him. And as I said to
the older men last week and challenging them,
it is never too late, ladies, to hear what God's
word says and today to start praying and striving
to become all that he desires you to be. And
if you need help getting started with that, you're
like, wow, this is, This is challenging. This
is convicting. But I look at this in the word
and I want to become this. Then ask for help.
Reach out to an elder or reach out to one of
our godly women on our women's council and say,
I want to get started. I want to get on this
path towards what Paul is describing here. Sound
good? Okay, now look what Paul does next. Look
at the end of verse three and going into verse
four. Here he adds a very important action step
for older ladies. And you guys, this is so important.
Honestly, I wish we had time to do a whole sermon
series on this particular subject. Because here's
what he writes next. He says, older women are
to be teaching what is good so that they may
encourage the young women. And yeah, he goes
on to list a whole bunch of things they need
to be encouraged in. Hold off on those things.
That's for next Sunday. When we get to the younger
women, we're going to talk about all those things
that the older women should be teaching them.
But friends, listen to this now. In every generation,
the enemy would love to tear down and redefine
what it means to be a Christian woman. It happens
in every generation, and we've got to be aware
of it. So it's essential for the older women
in every generation to teach and to model what
the Christian life looks like so that our younger
women aren't deceived by all of the lies that
come at them from the culture about who God is,
about who they are. and about what is actually
good. Every day, you know this already, you're
bombarded by the culture telling you what you
should be. And so older women who have this experience
need to look back and go, okay, let me help you
on this. Let me help you see it. And that's what
Paul's talking about here. Teaching what is good
is both word and deed. It is both instruction
and example. And once again, he reaches, so Paul,
this is so unique what he writes here. He reaches
deep into his lexicon to describe this. In the
original Greek, teaching what is good is just
one compound word. And again, it's not found
anywhere, anywhere else in the New Testament.
And even more so, this word is not even found
in classical Greek. Kala didaskalos is what it
is. It comes from the standard, so. It's likely
that Paul literally coined this word when he
wrote this for a very specific need for the older
women in Crete. It's his word. It comes from
the standard word for teaching, didaskalos, along
with this prefix, kalos, which means good or
beautiful or attractive. So older women in the
church are to teach the younger women. the things
that are good and beautiful about the Christian
life. And specifically, based on what you see
in verses four and five, listen now, to teach
the younger women the beautiful life of a Christian
woman. Whether you're single, married, a mom,
it doesn't matter what a beautiful Christian
woman's life looks like. And the Greek word there
for encourage is interesting as well. In my opinion,
it's not quite the right word for this context.
It's sophronizo. And it has a broad range of
meaning, but look at all the ways that this word
can be applied. And now think about an overall
flavor of what Paul is calling older women to
do when it says encourage them. To restore someone
to their senses. Right? I've seen this in my
own family. Like when my wife comes alongside
my adult daughter and says, let me restore you
to your senses on this. You need to hear this.
or to moderate or curb someone's behavior. Hey,
I need to round some things in your life right
now as a younger woman. To hold somebody to his
or her duty. These are the things that God calls
you to do, young lady. Or to admonish or train
somebody in self -control. That's what he means
by encourage the younger ladies. So older women
come alongside younger women and help them think
sensibly about the details of, of the Christian
life, to train them in what sacred living as
a woman looks like. And by the way, this becomes,
this is always important in every relationship,
but it's especially important when this beautiful
thing happens. Young women come out of the world.
They come to know Christ, but they come from
broken homes or they come out of a family life
that didn't worship Jesus and they don't have.
role models to really look at. They didn't grow
up with that. Think about the need for younger
women who come from those types of backgrounds,
for an older woman with all of these decades
of experience to come alongside and say, man,
let me help you. Let me show you what this life
looks like. And so many of our young ladies today,
you know this, if they don't come from a Christian
background and they're not taught otherwise,
they're constantly hearing and ingesting what
the culture feeds them. about gender roles, about
dating, about men and so many other things. And
they need help, ladies. They need help to see
the truth. This past week as I was prepping for
this message, I read this great article, this
testimony from a younger woman who talks about
this issue of spiritual mothering. And she talks
about how she came out of that sort of secular
background. But she found women that would come
alongside her and help. And she was struggling
with, this is not a surprise, with the issue
of submission in marriage, as I think every woman
does at some point. But let me just read a little
bit about what she wrote and see if this doesn't
connect with what Paul's saying. She writes this.
When I was a newlywed, one of my two spiritual
mothers taught me that submission is not the
fruit of a weak -willed wife, but of a courageous
wife who hopes in God. Back then, even though
I assented verbally to male headship in marriage,
in my heart, I was still more of a secular feminist
than I was biblically feminine. I needed a spiritual
mother to model this principle for me and to
teach me in the context of her life and mine.
She taught me from scripture and from her example
and from her failures and her repentance as well
as her victories. how beautiful headship and
submission are when the gospel is at the center.
This older woman didn't just mentor me, she mothered
me, and I needed it. She let me spend hours in
her home. She made godly womanhood look beautiful
to me. And because she combined faithful teaching
with faithful living, her influence in my life
has been far -reaching. That is a beautiful testimony
to what this passage is talking about. Now, I'm
gonna come back to spiritual mothering in a second.
But first, can I briefly touch on some of the
temptations that I think older women are wrestling
with? And we should all be aware of this because
again, in the body, we wanna be ministering to
each other. We wanna be understanding each other.
What are the temptations and the things that
older women struggle with? And by the way, some
of these are gonna mirror what I shared about
the older men last week because they're more
connected to age than they are to gender. But
let me share a couple of those. For example,
just like older men, older women often struggle
with change because with age we get set in our
ways, don't we? And we don't want to be moved,
which is a polite way of saying we get stubborn.
We do. I mean, look, again, this is one of those
good things. I'm in that age range, so it's good.
I can talk about it. And like the men, older
women can be tempted to get somewhat critical
and negative towards the younger generation.
who are doing things differently, right? And
develop a critical spirit, even in the church.
You know, sit there judgy, and no, that's not
the way it's supposed to be done, or that's not
the way we used to do it, right? And reminiscing
on the good old days, all of that stuff. Men
do it, and women do it as well. Now, men will
tend to grumble out loud about these things.
In my experience, women will just internalize
their judginess and quietly seethe. until it
comes out someday, right? So both are bad, by
the way, but just know that that happens. I'm
grateful my wife isn't here this morning. I was
not talking about her, by the way. I'm just noting
that for the recording. Older ladies can fall
into the retirement syndrome that I mentioned
last week, this idea that because I've reached
a certain age, I can now pull away from serving
other people. It's this idea of like, well, I
fought those battles, I paid my dues, and now
I get to just sit here. That's not biblical.
Or this, and I talked about it last week, this
idea that now that I'm a certain age, I can ride
off into the sunset and not to be bothered ever
again. And by the way, I got a great email from
somebody this week, because I talked last week
about men wanting to buy a parcel of land in
Montana and riding off into the sunset. I have
nothing against Montana. People are like, am
I not allowed to move to Montana? I'm like, well,
it depends. Honestly, the answer is it depends.
If you're moving to Montana so you can disappear
from life and no longer serve people or minister
to people, no. That would not be pleasing in
God's sight. If you're saying, I've always wanted
to move to Montana and I have a ministry up there
and a church up there that I can throw my life
into and minister until the day God calls me
home, amen and amen. So it's the motivation of
the heart that matters. Okay, what else? A couple
other things that I would add to this. I think
it's fairly common for older women in the church
to feel unseen, to feel unseen. As I said at
the outset, to feel dismissed, to feel not valued
in the body of Christ, and therefore to not really
know how they're supposed to apply their spiritual
gifts, how they can be used in ministry, other
than sometimes What we do with older women is
we say, no, go teach the children, which is an
incredibly valuable ministry, but we'll sort
of hide them away week after week after week
and never acknowledge them and never say thank
you. And they feel like that's all I can do because
they feel not seen. The other temptation for
older women in the church is to feel unqualified.
to dive into ministry. And maybe that could be
for any number of reasons, because of a sinful
past or regrets they have in life, or just that
they got a late start in the Christian life,
right? And now here at Oak Hill, older ladies
like, oh, I didn't get saved until I was, whatever,
45. And now I see all these young ladies coming
from a Bible college, and they know more than
me, and maybe I'm just not qualified for this.
So there's all kinds of things. So for the rest
of you, understand, your older sisters and the
types of things that they might be wrestling
with here in the body of Christ. But the short
answer, ladies, is you are needed. You are necessary,
you are seen, and you are needed. I hope you
hear that. So let's wrap up this morning by talking
about this issue of spiritual mothering, which
is so important. And listen, spiritual motherhood
can actually be more impactful than biological
motherhood. Did you know that? Because there's
a lot of women out there who are biological mothers
but haven't done much mothering at all. And so
a woman that will come in and be a spiritual
mother is invaluable, ladies. And let me make
this clear as well. I realize in verses four
and five, Paul talks about teaching the younger
women in relation to their husbands and children.
But this teaching does not exclude single women,
unmarried women from participating in this. type
of work. Because being a spiritual mother is
about nurturing and sacrificial self -giving
love. And I'm convinced that God hardwires that
into all of his daughters. So in some measure,
ladies, that is present within you. And becoming
a spiritually mature woman doesn't require having
an earthly husband. It doesn't even require having
biological children. It definitely doesn't require
being an Instagram homesteader. Right? So whatever
category you're in, do not automatically rule
yourself out because of how you perceive yourself
as a woman. God has wired you for this. You just
need to move towards spiritual maturity and dive
in. Now, you might say, well, Jeff, why do you
feel so confident in saying that? Well, look
at the Apostle Paul. He was unmarried. There's
no evidence that Paul ever had children. Yet
do we not refer to him as a spiritual father?
Of course we do. I've never heard anybody question
that. Well, how can Paul be a spiritual father?
He's unmarried. He doesn't have kids. We recognize
him as a spiritual father, right? Because Paul
knew what it was to be a spiritual father. He
practiced it. In fact, he called both Timothy
and Titus my true child in the faith. When writing
to churches that he had planted, he called the
members there, you know, my children, my beloved
children. He spoke explicitly about being a spiritual
father and a mentor and an example uniquely to
the church in Corinth, the most messed up church
of all. He talked about it. Let me just read
this verse really briefly. He says, for you may
have countless instructors in Christ, but you
don't have many fathers. For I became your father
in Christ Jesus through the gospel. And then
he adds, therefore, I urge you to imitate me.
That's exactly what he's saying to Titus. He's
a spiritual father. All the language that Paul
uses, right? He talks about his love for the
believers, how he nurtures them, how he shares
his very self with them, how he prays for them.
Those are all things that mothers and fathers
do for their children. And of course, none of
those people, Timothy, Titus, or the people in
Corinth were biologically connected to Paul.
They were spiritually connected. So, single spiritual
fathers, unmarried spiritual mothers. It's all
possible in the kingdom of God. Now, let's talk
practically. What does it mean to be a spiritual
mother? How can you do this? Well, I'll say it
for the fourth time. It's not about being perfect.
There's no perfect woman, no perfect wife, no
perfect mother. So, do not let your expectations
or your self -perceptions discourage you from
this. Also, though, recognize, ladies, that to
fulfill Paul's instructions here as a mentor,
as a teacher, as an example to younger women,
it requires you to desire it and pursue it. It's
not going to happen by magic. It's not going
to just come upon you. You have to want it and
you've got to pursue it. Like any other ministry,
you have to be committed to sanctification and
growth in your own walk so that you can turn
around and model it to others. Again, not saying
you've got to be perfect, but you've got to be
committed in your walk to maturity and growth
so that you can tell others about it. Yes, that
is going to require significant investment of
your time and your energy and sometimes also
great emotion when things get hard. And to that
end, it also means that in the midst of providing
wise counsel as a spiritual mom, you might actually
have to correct a younger woman, rebuke a younger
woman. And that's not easy. So here's what I'm
saying. This is not a simple ministry. It's not
easy. Sometimes it's really hard. But friends,
it's incredibly needed. And anybody in this room
who's been a spiritual mother will tell you it's
incredibly rewarding. You actually get a lot
back from this person you're counseling. As she's
giving to you, she's receiving back. And it's
beautifully reciprocal. Now, what are some of
the things an older woman can share with a younger
woman? The list is endless. And again, if you
need help on this, talk to our women's council.
They do this all the time. They're doing it constantly,
sometimes with five, six, seven women. Well,
you can give her a vision of biblical womanhood.
You can talk about that until the cows come home,
right? Because it's complex and confusing. Show
her the beauty of scripture. Study together.
Help her find her place in church ministry, practically.
Show her where she can be serving others. If
she's married, help her to understand better
the role of a wife. If she's a mother, help her
to understand what it looks like to persevere
in that high calling. You don't have to have
all the answers. In fact, when appropriate, you
should be transparent with her about your own
failings because we've all failed. We've all
fallen short in these areas. When it's appropriate
to say, hey, this is where I messed up, but this
is what I learned from it, please don't fall
into the same error. Do you understand how valuable
that is for an older person to say, look, I was
where you were 20 years ago, 30 years ago. Here's
some of my mistakes. Avoid them. Avoid those
pitfalls. It's beautiful. Share with her your
struggles, your temptations. Show her how you've
repented in the past and come back to worship
the Lord. Pray with her. Pray for her. Go to
the throne of grace together to pray over both
of your lives. It's an incredibly rich thing.
if you'll desire it and pursue it. Now, what
does it look like practically? Well, it comes
in all kinds of forms and formats. And the reason
I share this is already, and I know this happens
all the time because I've done it personally.
Somebody shares something beautiful like this
and you're like, here's the three reasons I can't
do it. We all do this. It's almost defensive.
Here's three reasons. And the number one thing
is, well, I'm super busy. Right? We all do it.
I've done it. It comes in all forms and formats.
The first thing we think about when this is we're
like, okay, it's got to be some weekly meeting
at a coffee shop or over lunch, and we're going
to study the Bible together. If you can do that,
praise the Lord. That's wonderful. That's one
way to do it. Structured one -on -one discipleship.
Other times it's less formal. It's just life
on life where an older and younger woman get
together in almost any setting, and it's just
wise counsel. from biblical principles, from
sound doctrine, but it's wise counsel. Sometimes
it happens in small group settings, two or three
women and one older woman. Sometimes because
of the season you're in or the schedule you have,
you can't meet in person, but you can use technology.
I know technology can be a devil, but it can
also be a blessing, right? So you can actually,
I've seen ladies reading scripture, reading devotionals,
reading books together and discussing it. via
electronic means. You can do that. You can use
Zoom. You can use FaceTime. You just have to
think outside the box and harness the tools that
are out there. There's a way to make it happen
without the excuses. There's a way to make it
happen if you desire it and if you pursue it.
Last thing I'll share is this. Sometimes the
best way to teach a younger woman has no formality
at all. It's just allowing her into your life,
into just regular life. I've read testimonies
about this so many times. I just got invited
into this woman's home, and I watched her routines,
and I watched how she talked to people, and I
watched how she dealt with her family. I watched
how she carried herself, how she speaks to people,
how she volunteers her time in the church. This
is just all the things of life. It doesn't require
a classroom. It doesn't require even a coffee
shop. It's caught as much as it is taught. It's
very organic and very simple, but very beautiful
at the same time. I've heard it described as
discipleship at the kitchen table, which is really
sweet. Let me come back to that same young lady
who I quoted earlier. Here's how she closed her
article. Here's what she wrote about her mentor.
Her name is Debbie, and this is beautiful. She
says, Debbie was busy raising and homeschooling
three high schoolers and a kindergartner. Wow.
Superwoman. Her house was always spilling over
with teenagers seeking warm fellowship and homemade
fried chicken. And somehow there was always room
at her kitchen table for more. Listen to what
she says. That little house was paradise to me.
I always walked in the front door knowing I'd
be well -loved, well -fed, and well -taught before
I left. Rarely did I have the conscious thought
that Debbie was mentoring me. She was simply
welcoming me into her very normal and very full
life. I was so blessed to have landed in a solid
Bible teaching church as a new Christian, but
it was my relationship with Debbie that took
my new faith to the next level. And it prepared
me to be a Christian wife and mom years later.
I have met only a handful of older women in my
lifetime who have lived out these characteristics.
They're the ones who've seen a few generations
of pain come and go, a few seasons of heartbreak
and uproar, and now they stand gray -haired,
facing heaven with a gentle and quiet spirit.
They know their king. I'm getting emotional again,
darn it. They know their king. When they say
they're praying for you, you better buckle up.
When they tell you that God loves you, you know
that they know it in a way that not many people
know it. Their faithfulness has been lived out
in unseen mornings in God's word and in prayer
through many nights. And while their bodies fade,
what remains is imperishable, marked by timelessness
and beauty. I get emotional because I think about
my own wife in that. So, older ladies. I hope
you see the beauty in what Paul is talking to
Titus about here. And I hope it stirs your heart.
I hope it stirs your heart to want to be a part
of someone else's life like this. Again, it's
no small commitment, but wow, what an incredible
privilege to impact a life, and by extension,
to impact generations to come. Older ladies,
you are needed. in the body, and you are precious
to us. Amen? Let's bow our heads. Father, thank
you for your word this morning. Thank you for
how beautiful you have described ministry in
the church in so many ways. Lord, and I pray
for those who... Hear this message that they
might catch the beauty of that, the vision of
what you have designed in your body. And just
to lean into it, to say, Lord, is this what you're
calling me to? And to open up that possibility
as an older woman to say, I don't want to retire.
I don't want to pull back from service. I want
to grow in my older years. I want to become more
spiritually mature. And I want to turn around
and help. All of these younger ladies in our
church. Father, I pray that for everybody here
that we might see some biblical principles in
this and see ways that we can apply these same
truths in our lives. For our men to be spiritual
fathers, it's so needed. For younger men to say,
who can disciple me? Who can I look to? Who can
I imitate as he imitates Christ? Lord, give us
spiritual eyes to see what you have for us. I
thank you for the church. I thank you for every
person here this morning and the way you have
brought us here for this divine appointment.
So teach us now by your spirit for your glory,
I pray.