So, back to the orgy though, an erect 6 foot long arching penis is often present in these
orgy's.
So these whales have penises that are 6 foot fucking long.
Could you imagine that?
That's like the size of a fucking tall person, a loppin' about in the ocean.
Good heavens.
Hello my girlies, to the girls, the gays and the theys.
Welcome back to another episode of the Bisexual Biologist.
My name is Riley, your host for the show, and this is a podcast where we talk queerness,
nature and everything in between.
On today's episode we're taking a deep dive into the wonderful world of cetaceans, a taxonomic
order made up of whales, dolphins and porpoises.
Not only are they some of the biggest species on our planet, but they are also some of the
gayest species on the planet.
I shit you not.
This episode will feature some homosexual humpback whales, some bisexual bottlenose
dolphins and grey whale orgy's where 6 foot penises are the norm.
So let's dive in under the sea where everything is better and gay as can be.
Okay alrighty everybody, listen in, gather round children, I have a story to tell.
Let's jump into our first queer icon of the rank, and that is our world famous global
superstar, the humpback whale.
So we're going to start off this episode by touching on, well it was recent, it was a
few months ago now, but recently there were some news headlines of two humpback whales
filmed getting down and dirty off the coast of Hawaii.
This is really exciting because it's the first time that was ever recorded and it's the first
ever recorded evidence of copulation of two males, let alone humpbacks as an entire species.
So the first time that they've ever seen two humpback whales performing sexual intercourse
turned out to be two very gay homosexual whales.
So cheers to that, we fucking love it, nature is gay as fuck as we say.
So what happened?
One of the whales was seen to be holding the other in place with its pectoral fins, so those
are the ones on the side, the big flippy ones, whilst penetrating his counterpart.
So the penises of male humpbacks are usually concealed in what is known as a genital slit,
this keeps their bodies nice and streamlined as they swim through the water, because if
they had their big old giant whale penises just flop on about, it'd probably be a lure
for other fish and sharks to come and bite it off.
So they have a little slit that it hides and stays nice and safe in.
So the unsheathed penises have only been witnessed by humans a small number of times, the only
other time was when a whale was urinating, so golden shower moment, don't kink shame
everybody, whales also like to have golden showers apparently.
A new research paper which was published in the Marine Mammal Science Journal suggested
that the cetaceans, being whales and dolphins, could use their genital slits or the anus
for same sex copulation to practice reproductive behaviour, motion of the oceans, or to form
stronger social bonds and assert dominance.
So there's like an argument out there that the cost of same sex sexual behaviour shouldn't
like outweigh the actual act, so they're saying that the sheer energy input needed to perform
same sex sexual behaviour doesn't have any like greater serving purpose when it comes
to like reproductive costs or like energy because you're putting energy into not producing
and offering, so like why is it prevalent in animals?
And there's a very big reason for this, the reason is to reduce tensions, to create social
bonds, to create more inclusivity within the pods because they're very social creatures,
most whales, dolphins live in a pod made up around 10 to 50 animals and it's a social
hierarchy as well, a lot of whales are matriarchal so that's led by a wise older female, go off
sis, and also mating practice is another reason why some of these behaviours are hypothesised
to be done in same sex sexual situations instead of heteronormative situations where no reproduction
is occurring.
So if someone's feeling stressed of course they're going to give their mate like a little
bottle nose blowjob and everything's going to be better, why not?
So in cetaceans, the male's penis is normally concealed inside the animal's genital slit
presumably to make the body more hydrodynamic and streamlined and is externally extruded
for sexual behaviour only, so people going around saying that like these whales weren't having
sex well its penis only comes out to have sex unfortunately, so you're lying and you're
wrong.
So the humpback whale penis extrusion appeared to be rare and generally occur underwater
rather than at the surface, this is what makes this documentation of it in Hawaii so awesome
because it was below the surface.
Okay so now that we've had a little chat about the homosexual humpbacks, one of many gay
whale examples, let's move on to our bisexual bottle nose dolphin queens and kings.
So bottle nose dolphins, very grey, slippery, silky, smooth, cute, squeak a lot, all over
the world.
So bottle nose dolphins lives are characterised by extensive bisexuality and they're combined
periods of exclusive homosexuality.
Bottle nose dolphins will live in all male groups or pods in which same sex sexual activity
is so common and often results in finding a lifelong partner.
That's really cute so these younger males can split off into an all male pods and just
have like a giant fuckfest and eventually find true love in the form of a male partner
and spend the rest of their lives with them.
They were seen protecting each other from predators, watching over each other while
sleeping and even aiding each other when the other is healing from an injury or feeling
ill.
That's fucking adorable, little bisexual bottle nose dolphins, the darlings.
There are lesbian examples as well, I know I'm talking all about like homosexual gay
males but documented versions of or documented proof of female to female interactions just
haven't been recorded yet but they are evident, they do exist, just not in a high number.
So there are lifelong lesbian partner dolphins out there, they just haven't been caught on
camera yet so there's that.
Okay so some more fun facts about the bottle nose dolphins, so they are known to exhibit
homosexual behaviour through tactile interactions where members of the same sex, so males and
females, particularly males though, have been recorded mounting one another and stimulating
the other's genitals using a flipper, a melon, a phalum or a rostrum.
Those are the different parts of the animal, I have to double check but I'm pretty sure
the melon is like the top of their head.
Okay so some more information around the social bonds, same sex social sexual interactions,
oh that's a tongue twister, may encourage the formation of social bonds between members
of the same pod.
Alliances between male bottle nose dolphins are more prevalent in calves and juveniles
and they prohibit foreign males from mating with females of the group.
Strong social bonds between young males could lead to greater group cooperation and altruistic
behaviour.
Another example of a gay whale is the orcas, also known as killer whales.
So they have a certain season where the males, all the males, will leave the matrilineal
group so that's the pod that's led by the head female, the matriarch.
So all the males will leave and then go and join an all male group at a gay ocean bar
apparently where homosexual interaction is the norm.
This can involve sexual play through the likes of splashing, jumping, nuzzling and rubbing
each other's genital areas with their mouths, so whale blow jobs.
Orcas are also known to display their wrecked penises during these sessions.
These sessions can last for hours, are always reciprocal and undertaken by seemingly all
males.
Some will return to their favourite partner every year whilst others interact with multiple
males.
So again, love that, sounds a lot better than the dating scene in most cities of gay, what
am I trying to say?
Whale dating, gay whale dating seems like it's a lot easier than human male dating because
they're not vapid and they're not flaky and they're not all fucking only here for one
thing which is like muscle gay bullshit.
Oh my god, maybe I'll just reincarnate as a gay whale in my next life, seems like a
lot more fun, less pressure and probably a lot more worthwhile emotionally, physically
and mentally.
Next one are grey whales who are known to have orgies.
So during the summer when the northward migration is occurring, whales get into groups of same
sex partners up to five.
Five-some
Behaviours include jumping, splashing and genital rubbing as also done by the orcas.
An erect six foot long arching penis is often present in these groups.
Let's just read that one more time.
An erect six foot long arching penis is often present.
That's fucked up when you think about how big whales are and their penises are six foot
long.
Holy shit, this behaviour was also observed in females but to a lesser extent.
There you go, see grey whales also have lesbian only parties.
It's just not documented as much because again females being left behind, males taking centre stage
fucking typical.
A bonus contender in my information for you today is the West Indian manatee who is not
a cetacean but still a marine mammal.
They are quite homosexual and have been known to engage in a lot of homosexual play and
games with specific positions known as same sex convorting.
Ooh, same sex convorting, that's interesting.
Often lasting four to eight times longer than the heterosexual mating encounters.
Okay, so the homosexual or same sex sexual behaviours of the West Indian manatees will
go on for a lot longer which just proves again that queer people, queer animals, queer, queerness,
queer anything have better sex than heteros.
Sorry to be the bearer of bad news but it's true.
Mouth to penis, flipper to penis and embracing each other head to tail, so 69 in manatee
things and side embraces were all documented and positions that were seen being done by
the West Indian manatees in their play, game, encounters.
So summary, homosexual behaviour plays an important part in development of close bonds between
males and other males and females and other females.
It allows negotiation of dominant relationships, so who is higher up in the hierarchy and who
is lower and it allows alliances to be formed within these pods of the whales and dolphins.
So there you have it, we've done a quick little summary of what's going on under the sea
in terms of which whales are gay, what they're getting down and dirty to, how they're getting
down and dirty and why they're getting down and dirty and good on them, so they should.
They're incredibly intelligent animals and I'd be quite surprised if they weren't gay.
Like many of the other thousands of species on this planet, homosexuality, queerness,
nature is inherently gay and we are here for it and that's why I'm here to just ramble
on this podcast and talk about it more because in scientific literature it still has a stigma
around it, it's not talked about as much, most people don't even know about animals
being gay and then there's whole religion side of things where it's like God made everything
in his eyes so this is unnatural, it's like well if God made everything in his eyes then
why the fuck are all his fucking animals running around boning each other, riddle me that religion
God.
Anyway thank you for listening in to another episode of the Bisexual Biologist, this is
episode 2 of the season, more episodes to come but thank you for listening in, if you
have any recommendations please reach out, we are on Instagram under the Bisexual Biologist,
you can also email me at bisexualbiologist.gmail.com if you have any questions, if you'd like specific
animals to be featured, if you know of a topic that you'd like me to research and talk about
then just fire away and send it at me.
So thank you once again for listening in to another episode of the Bisexual Biologist
and remember this as always, nature's gay baby so don't hide your DNA, see you later.
The homosexual activity in male cetaceans can involve the insertion of the penis into
the genital slit, the anus or in one unusual encounter in the Amazon River dolphins, another
male inserted its penis into another males blowhole and that's from D. Agostino et al
2017 that's documented.
So is that how dolphins give blowjobs?
Let me know your thoughts on that one.