1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:11,360 Welcome to the GuiltTrips podcast. I'm your host, Kendra Lockhart. As a goldsmith and 2 00:00:11,360 --> 00:00:17,560 gemologist, I'll be speaking 24 carat on all things jewelry, metals, and gems. Join 3 00:00:17,560 --> 00:00:24,080 me plus a few friends to demystify both materials and designs as your private jeweler. Let's 4 00:00:24,080 --> 00:00:35,200 tune in on these topics and get golden. At some point in your journey as a professional, 5 00:00:35,200 --> 00:00:43,120 or maybe even a hobbyist, or perhaps as a student, you're going to come across an opportunity 6 00:00:43,120 --> 00:00:52,240 or invitation to network. This is the word that is very polarizing. Either it gets people 7 00:00:52,240 --> 00:01:01,600 incredibly excited because of course it sounds like a hang, or it evokes dread the way going 8 00:01:01,600 --> 00:01:09,440 to prom without a date can. I'm here to give you some dos and don'ts, walk you through 9 00:01:09,440 --> 00:01:15,440 some of the best and worst networkings that I've had to experience, and leave you with 10 00:01:15,440 --> 00:01:24,320 tips on what to do for making it effective and efficient, whether it's live or in person, 11 00:01:24,320 --> 00:01:38,760 versus digital and online. So let's talk. One of the biggest challenges about the term 12 00:01:38,760 --> 00:01:45,280 networking is we all think we know what it means, and yet nobody is really able to define 13 00:01:45,280 --> 00:01:55,120 it. So let's start there. What networking is good for is meeting new people, being exposed 14 00:01:55,120 --> 00:02:02,680 to new skills, and finding new opportunities. Now that we have a framework, how networking 15 00:02:02,680 --> 00:02:11,800 falls on you is that it is about professional communication, relationship management, and 16 00:02:11,800 --> 00:02:19,360 career development. There are two ways to go about whether or not networking events 17 00:02:19,360 --> 00:02:27,400 are going to be the ones you want to put yourself in or attend. I like to divide it into congruent 18 00:02:27,400 --> 00:02:35,400 versus incongruent. I know that there's probably value for me as a jeweler if I go to things 19 00:02:35,400 --> 00:02:42,200 that are going to be jewelry industry related. For example, I can network at a trade show 20 00:02:42,200 --> 00:02:51,560 where there's a variety of services, products, tools, and offerings. I might go to a professional 21 00:02:51,560 --> 00:02:59,160 jeweler's event, and if I'm looking for a new employer or a new employee, perhaps that 22 00:02:59,160 --> 00:03:06,040 kind of personal referral system would be very beneficial. On the flip side of that, 23 00:03:06,040 --> 00:03:13,720 an incongruent networking event is when I went to one for engineers. Just because we 24 00:03:13,720 --> 00:03:20,400 all worked in CAD programming does not mean that we have anything to do with enhancing 25 00:03:20,400 --> 00:03:28,600 each other's trades. The application of computer aided design for jewelry manufacturing versus 26 00:03:28,600 --> 00:03:35,200 computer aided design for statics and dynamics of building materials didn't really open 27 00:03:35,200 --> 00:03:41,560 up conversations. And these are not the people who know how to think in the terms of who 28 00:03:41,560 --> 00:03:49,280 in my sphere needs to know a jeweler. Any more than a jeweler can say, I wonder if my 29 00:03:49,280 --> 00:04:04,560 friends need to know somebody who really has concrete mastered. Now that doesn't mean 30 00:04:04,560 --> 00:04:10,840 that you shouldn't consider adjacent offers. What that looks like as far as jewelry would 31 00:04:10,840 --> 00:04:18,320 be if I talked to a dental supplier so that I could consider getting a jewelry tool on 32 00:04:18,320 --> 00:04:26,880 a different budget because they're interchangeable. When I was an apprentice, my hand tool, my 33 00:04:26,880 --> 00:04:35,320 flex shaft was an old dental piece of equipment. Another example of an adjacent networking 34 00:04:35,320 --> 00:04:43,040 event would be insurance. It doesn't have to be specific jewelry insurance, but if there 35 00:04:43,040 --> 00:04:50,080 are policy writers there, they often have to talk to people who might underwrite for 36 00:04:50,080 --> 00:04:59,360 expensive jewelry or watches. And so there is a chance that an introduction can be made 37 00:04:59,360 --> 00:05:05,620 or a door can be opened. Great examples of adjacent business that helped me develop my 38 00:05:05,620 --> 00:05:13,720 private jewelry company were going to wedding vendor meetups. I was able to immerse myself 39 00:05:13,720 --> 00:05:19,200 in a circle of people who all either knew each other directly or were aware of each 40 00:05:19,200 --> 00:05:27,120 other's work. And how that ended up benefiting me directly is now I can talk to a photographer. 41 00:05:27,120 --> 00:05:33,400 Their wedding clients may or may not have rings or the caterer, the dressmaker, the 42 00:05:33,400 --> 00:05:40,640 hair and makeup artist, and it has reciprocity. They can all count on me when I'm working 43 00:05:40,640 --> 00:05:47,520 with my clients to be able to make suggestions. Hey, I met this person at an event. Oh, I 44 00:05:47,520 --> 00:05:55,360 spoke with so-and-so directly. I deeply enjoyed going through the videographer's portfolio 45 00:05:55,360 --> 00:06:10,000 and it becomes very human and very connected in moments like that. Another type of networking 46 00:06:10,000 --> 00:06:18,080 is what I call strategic partnerships. Usually these are a little more nuanced and subtle. 47 00:06:18,080 --> 00:06:23,680 For example, I've mentioned this store before, Dave's Rock Shop in Evanston, Illinois, just 48 00:06:23,680 --> 00:06:29,320 outside of Chicago. And when I was getting started as far as being a goldsmith and a 49 00:06:29,320 --> 00:06:36,680 designer on my own, I went in and said, is there any way I can pass out a stack of cards 50 00:06:36,680 --> 00:06:44,280 where if somebody bought a gem, you'd recommend me if they wanted to finish peace. And if 51 00:06:44,280 --> 00:06:51,040 any of my clients come in with something to be worked on or repaired other than their 52 00:06:51,040 --> 00:06:56,360 bridal jewelry, I would love to send them your way. And that's what a strategic partnership 53 00:06:56,360 --> 00:07:09,240 looked like for me. One of the ways that my videographer friend 54 00:07:09,240 --> 00:07:16,440 networked is referrals. After he did a project, he said, whether or not you have people who 55 00:07:16,440 --> 00:07:22,800 need a videographer, I am asking for three to five names that either I could introduce 56 00:07:22,800 --> 00:07:30,280 myself to them and say you were kind enough to provide contact information, or I'm asking 57 00:07:30,280 --> 00:07:36,760 if it's more comfortable for them that you reach out and introduce me to them. Copy me 58 00:07:36,760 --> 00:07:45,600 on the email. It's not me looking for an opportunity or a sale. It's looking for me to be in the 59 00:07:45,600 --> 00:07:53,400 front of their thoughts should an organic opportunity or conversation come up that they have my 60 00:07:53,400 --> 00:08:00,920 name and means to get a hold of me if and when that situation sees the light of day. 61 00:08:00,920 --> 00:08:07,160 And it really changed my language around referrals. I'm lucky that when I make a ring, people 62 00:08:07,160 --> 00:08:14,280 wear it out, their friends start talking, it becomes conversational. I get a phone call. 63 00:08:14,280 --> 00:08:21,640 This is Sandy. I'm a friend of Monica's. I was at her engagement party. Or this is Dan. 64 00:08:21,640 --> 00:08:26,600 David told me how much he enjoyed working with you on Monica's engagement ring. And 65 00:08:26,600 --> 00:08:32,320 I'm looking to propose in the next three, five months, things like that. And sometimes 66 00:08:32,320 --> 00:08:40,640 referrals become a taproot referrals refer that refer. And that's ideal because it means 67 00:08:40,640 --> 00:08:48,920 that one relationship is returning its investment in the form of three to four generations of 68 00:08:48,920 --> 00:08:58,840 next clients. 69 00:08:58,840 --> 00:09:08,800 One of the softest ways to be worked into somebody's psyche or in a conversation is simply asking 70 00:09:08,800 --> 00:09:17,120 to be introduced. Thankfully, it's becoming more and more of a normal culture on LinkedIn, 71 00:09:17,120 --> 00:09:24,720 which is a digital way to build a network. In my opinion, the introduction is the anti-elevator 72 00:09:24,720 --> 00:09:32,840 pitch. It's allowing somebody else to talk about you in a way that allows them to recreate 73 00:09:32,840 --> 00:09:39,160 their experience of you versus you having to be your own hype man. And if you do end 74 00:09:39,160 --> 00:09:45,080 up having to do your own introduction, it's really wonderful when you don't make it about 75 00:09:45,080 --> 00:09:50,760 you, but you make it about the opportunity for other people where you get to be a service 76 00:09:50,760 --> 00:10:00,080 or value. 77 00:10:00,080 --> 00:10:06,840 So let's say that you're going to a networking event. There are two types that I've been 78 00:10:06,840 --> 00:10:14,640 to. There's the known networking event where you can look it up and prepare and get an 79 00:10:14,640 --> 00:10:24,120 idea of the context or the reason or the intention, maybe even the vibe. And of course, 80 00:10:24,120 --> 00:10:36,760 the unknown event where any type of theme or agenda gets revealed when you're there. 81 00:10:36,760 --> 00:10:44,520 I went to one called the pink slip party for people who had just lost their jobs. What 82 00:10:44,520 --> 00:10:51,280 we didn't know that was going to happen is they had a plan to have icebreakers and there 83 00:10:51,280 --> 00:10:56,600 was a special guest that guest was somebody who had everybody's business card put into 84 00:10:56,600 --> 00:11:02,920 a giant bowl, grab the microphone was a very impromptu kind of conversation. And the next 85 00:11:02,920 --> 00:11:08,560 thing you know, somebody's business card is being drawn and it is a $500 gift certificate 86 00:11:08,560 --> 00:11:16,120 to get new business attire. That only was that a solution in case your wardrobe is outdated, 87 00:11:16,120 --> 00:11:21,760 but also it generated a collective feeling of being supported even if we didn't win 88 00:11:21,760 --> 00:11:29,040 this surprise raffle. The morale boost was enough. Being able to be happy was that dope 89 00:11:29,040 --> 00:11:34,760 mean hit that gave us a little glimmer of, hmm, I wonder how much longer it is until 90 00:11:34,760 --> 00:11:44,040 we're next. 91 00:11:44,040 --> 00:11:52,400 Whether your networking event is live or online, it's easier to understand how to negotiate 92 00:11:52,400 --> 00:11:58,160 the conversation with somebody. If you can start looking at the type that they are when 93 00:11:58,160 --> 00:12:05,320 they're in networking events. And I like to break it down into four camps. I have my intentional 94 00:12:05,320 --> 00:12:11,080 people and they're the ones who usually are super prepared. They know exactly what they 95 00:12:11,080 --> 00:12:17,480 want to give in a conversation and what they want to be given. They're usually the most 96 00:12:17,480 --> 00:12:23,360 identifiable. The next group is what I call the organic attendees. And they're a little 97 00:12:23,360 --> 00:12:30,880 bit more free play, flow state, open association. They're in the moment of thinking out loud 98 00:12:30,880 --> 00:12:38,280 kind of interaction. So it may take having to sift through digressions and meanderings, 99 00:12:38,280 --> 00:12:45,440 but there's also a genuine curiosity around not knowing what the two of you might discuss 100 00:12:45,440 --> 00:12:53,760 or what you have in common or where your exchange is going to align and or intersect. A third 101 00:12:53,760 --> 00:12:59,040 group is what I call the Emotionals and they're going there to feel something. Maybe they 102 00:12:59,040 --> 00:13:07,120 want to feel good. Maybe they want to have that aha reaction and get all inspired, laid 103 00:13:07,120 --> 00:13:15,360 back to a point, but definitely reactive instead of proactive. It's usually the kind of person 104 00:13:15,360 --> 00:13:23,800 who is scanning, waiting for some type of hit so that there is a comprehension through 105 00:13:23,800 --> 00:13:30,520 that emotional lens. And then the light bulb, the engagement, the I know what to do with 106 00:13:30,520 --> 00:13:36,480 this now. And these are the same people that should they get the sense that there's not 107 00:13:36,480 --> 00:13:42,000 much for them in this networking event, they will be some of the first people to leave. 108 00:13:42,000 --> 00:13:48,320 And lastly, the social ones, they're not necessarily there to see who needs to know them. They're 109 00:13:48,320 --> 00:13:55,120 not particularly invested. They're usually the group that just wants to know, do these 110 00:13:55,120 --> 00:14:03,800 people belong in my orbit? Or do they belong in this group of people that they've chosen 111 00:14:03,800 --> 00:14:11,000 to go and check out? Now, there's plenty of business that happens in social environments. 112 00:14:11,000 --> 00:14:17,760 And that belonging factor is what balances how much of an individual you are, whether 113 00:14:17,760 --> 00:14:23,880 you're somebody who spends most of their day in what I call me state, there has to be a 114 00:14:23,880 --> 00:14:30,960 ratio of your life that is quote unquote, we state the best social networking I've done 115 00:14:30,960 --> 00:14:39,800 at the events, I belong at least, what am I doing at the baby shower? Why am I at the 116 00:14:39,800 --> 00:14:46,840 bachelorette party? Or now I'm attending the wedding, it's just a I'm the floater. 117 00:14:46,840 --> 00:14:52,520 And yet those are the things that turn out to be the most consistently surprising for 118 00:14:52,520 --> 00:14:58,800 me. And as much as we think we're so very different, it's what I call stranger magic, 119 00:14:58,800 --> 00:15:06,840 there will be zero to two degrees of separation, as far as common ground with me, and just about 120 00:15:06,840 --> 00:15:13,040 anybody that you can put me next to. I think this is just the nature of the beast of social 121 00:15:13,040 --> 00:15:21,960 networking. 122 00:15:21,960 --> 00:15:31,440 And now, here are the things that I can recommend in both live and online. Let's start with 123 00:15:31,440 --> 00:15:38,360 live. Once upon a time, they told you to have an elevator pitch. That's you saying who you 124 00:15:38,360 --> 00:15:47,880 are, what you do, and why it's valuable in 10 seconds, 30 seconds, and one minute. They 125 00:15:47,880 --> 00:15:54,000 usually looked a little like, my name is Kendra Lockhart. I'm the jewelry designer at this 126 00:15:54,000 --> 00:16:00,600 business. We specialize in European design and high end timepieces. And the value is 127 00:16:00,600 --> 00:16:08,880 that we can restore heirlooms, especially from overseas. A slight improvement, but it's also 128 00:16:08,880 --> 00:16:17,000 getting a little fatigued are the I help statements, I help career women learn how to get better 129 00:16:17,000 --> 00:16:23,480 and more ideal clients through the use of astrology and natal charts. It takes some of 130 00:16:23,480 --> 00:16:29,880 the engagement off of you and into the part of your brain going, huh, do I know anybody 131 00:16:29,880 --> 00:16:35,200 who could benefit from that? So it's a little easier to inspire the listener. But the way 132 00:16:35,200 --> 00:16:42,280 I like to network is I ask a question to find out somebody's familiarity with what I do. 133 00:16:42,280 --> 00:16:46,960 I'll say I've got a pretty good sense. You've probably never met anyone who does what I 134 00:16:46,960 --> 00:16:52,600 do. I create intrigue, I play a little bit of mystery, and then I'll say it very matter 135 00:16:52,600 --> 00:16:59,760 of factly. It's how to be memorable. I also highly recommend exchanging information after 136 00:16:59,760 --> 00:17:06,120 15 minutes. Stay present, nurture your connection, or let it run its course. Maybe you're only 137 00:17:06,120 --> 00:17:11,160 supposed to talk to this person for 10 minutes. Not everybody needs to be able to recommend 138 00:17:11,160 --> 00:17:16,680 you. Your best practices are going to be active or committed listening, forwarding the 139 00:17:16,680 --> 00:17:22,600 conversation that sometimes looks like ensuring that the topics have an arc, a beginning, 140 00:17:22,600 --> 00:17:28,640 a middle and an end, so that other people can bring up other ideas. It's a consideration 141 00:17:28,640 --> 00:17:34,200 game. Does everybody think in talking points? No. But if you've ever had that look on your 142 00:17:34,200 --> 00:17:41,120 face of being a little trapped conversationally, hoping for an excuse, an exit, or even a rescue, 143 00:17:41,120 --> 00:17:46,520 9 times out of 10, it's because somebody has gone in the weeds of their own mind, or is 144 00:17:46,520 --> 00:17:53,120 really in love with the sound of their voice, or finds their quote unquote bedtime stories 145 00:17:53,120 --> 00:18:06,680 better than anybody else's. As far as your own personal energy management, I can't emphasize 146 00:18:06,680 --> 00:18:11,760 enough the value of taking breaks. And that doesn't mean go to the bathroom and check 147 00:18:11,760 --> 00:18:17,240 your phone. It means pull back a little, put some negative space into all the talking and 148 00:18:17,240 --> 00:18:22,800 listening. Go and admire some of the decor in the venue. Check out the piece of art on 149 00:18:22,800 --> 00:18:27,960 the wall. Take a little intermission is what I'm saying. Allow your brain the chance to 150 00:18:27,960 --> 00:18:35,520 take a beat and reset. This is a concentration circumstance. It can become the law of diminishing 151 00:18:35,520 --> 00:18:40,800 returns as far as number of conversations. Regarding online, I'll leave you with these 152 00:18:40,800 --> 00:18:47,160 advices, share insightful content, an article that might make something easier for you, 153 00:18:47,160 --> 00:18:54,720 or exposes you to a different perspective, or suggests a fresh idea. Join relevant groups. 154 00:18:54,720 --> 00:19:01,680 I had to excuse myself as a podcaster from an online broadcasting page simply because 155 00:19:01,680 --> 00:19:08,000 there was very little activity in it. And the baseline of people's helpfulness seemed 156 00:19:08,000 --> 00:19:15,240 pretty outdated. When online comments are happening, be helpful in the sense of answering questions 157 00:19:15,240 --> 00:19:21,640 if questions are being asked. But the byproduct is that you're sharpening your knives as far 158 00:19:21,640 --> 00:19:27,040 as getting heard as some type of authority on something. Some questions are incredibly 159 00:19:27,040 --> 00:19:33,440 general, and you might be that great guy who's got very general answers consistently. Or 160 00:19:33,440 --> 00:19:38,720 they're a little more esoteric. You develop a reputation of being the person who knows 161 00:19:38,720 --> 00:19:44,480 off the beaten and unusual things. And lastly online, we all tend to fall into habits and 162 00:19:44,480 --> 00:19:51,000 patterns of going with our comfort zones. Diversify. Put yourself in spaces where you 163 00:19:51,000 --> 00:19:58,480 are strengthening the muscle of wonder, curiosity, and professional unfamiliarity. Try something 164 00:19:58,480 --> 00:20:04,480 new. Because if you're always doing what you've always done, you're always getting 165 00:20:04,480 --> 00:20:12,800 what you've always gotten. Happy networking. 166 00:20:12,800 --> 00:20:16,640 Thank you for listening and learning with me. I would love you to share this project 167 00:20:16,640 --> 00:20:21,080 with people finding rare beauty in today's world and throughout our times. Until the 168 00:20:21,080 --> 00:20:47,840 next episode, keep your own story sparkling.