Welcome to the GuiltTrips podcast. I'm your host, Kendra Lockhart. As a goldsmith and
gemologist, I'll be speaking 24 carat on all things jewelry, metals, and gems. Join
me plus a few friends to demystify both materials and designs as your private jeweler. Let's
tune in on these topics and get golden. At some point in your journey as a professional,
or maybe even a hobbyist, or perhaps as a student, you're going to come across an opportunity
or invitation to network. This is the word that is very polarizing. Either it gets people
incredibly excited because of course it sounds like a hang, or it evokes dread the way going
to prom without a date can. I'm here to give you some dos and don'ts, walk you through
some of the best and worst networkings that I've had to experience, and leave you with
tips on what to do for making it effective and efficient, whether it's live or in person,
versus digital and online. So let's talk. One of the biggest challenges about the term
networking is we all think we know what it means, and yet nobody is really able to define
it. So let's start there. What networking is good for is meeting new people, being exposed
to new skills, and finding new opportunities. Now that we have a framework, how networking
falls on you is that it is about professional communication, relationship management, and
career development. There are two ways to go about whether or not networking events
are going to be the ones you want to put yourself in or attend. I like to divide it into congruent
versus incongruent. I know that there's probably value for me as a jeweler if I go to things
that are going to be jewelry industry related. For example, I can network at a trade show
where there's a variety of services, products, tools, and offerings. I might go to a professional
jeweler's event, and if I'm looking for a new employer or a new employee, perhaps that
kind of personal referral system would be very beneficial. On the flip side of that,
an incongruent networking event is when I went to one for engineers. Just because we
all worked in CAD programming does not mean that we have anything to do with enhancing
each other's trades. The application of computer aided design for jewelry manufacturing versus
computer aided design for statics and dynamics of building materials didn't really open
up conversations. And these are not the people who know how to think in the terms of who
in my sphere needs to know a jeweler. Any more than a jeweler can say, I wonder if my
friends need to know somebody who really has concrete mastered. Now that doesn't mean
that you shouldn't consider adjacent offers. What that looks like as far as jewelry would
be if I talked to a dental supplier so that I could consider getting a jewelry tool on
a different budget because they're interchangeable. When I was an apprentice, my hand tool, my
flex shaft was an old dental piece of equipment. Another example of an adjacent networking
event would be insurance. It doesn't have to be specific jewelry insurance, but if there
are policy writers there, they often have to talk to people who might underwrite for
expensive jewelry or watches. And so there is a chance that an introduction can be made
or a door can be opened. Great examples of adjacent business that helped me develop my
private jewelry company were going to wedding vendor meetups. I was able to immerse myself
in a circle of people who all either knew each other directly or were aware of each
other's work. And how that ended up benefiting me directly is now I can talk to a photographer.
Their wedding clients may or may not have rings or the caterer, the dressmaker, the
hair and makeup artist, and it has reciprocity. They can all count on me when I'm working
with my clients to be able to make suggestions. Hey, I met this person at an event. Oh, I
spoke with so-and-so directly. I deeply enjoyed going through the videographer's portfolio
and it becomes very human and very connected in moments like that. Another type of networking
is what I call strategic partnerships. Usually these are a little more nuanced and subtle.
For example, I've mentioned this store before, Dave's Rock Shop in Evanston, Illinois, just
outside of Chicago. And when I was getting started as far as being a goldsmith and a
designer on my own, I went in and said, is there any way I can pass out a stack of cards
where if somebody bought a gem, you'd recommend me if they wanted to finish peace. And if
any of my clients come in with something to be worked on or repaired other than their
bridal jewelry, I would love to send them your way. And that's what a strategic partnership
looked like for me. One of the ways that my videographer friend
networked is referrals. After he did a project, he said, whether or not you have people who
need a videographer, I am asking for three to five names that either I could introduce
myself to them and say you were kind enough to provide contact information, or I'm asking
if it's more comfortable for them that you reach out and introduce me to them. Copy me
on the email. It's not me looking for an opportunity or a sale. It's looking for me to be in the
front of their thoughts should an organic opportunity or conversation come up that they have my
name and means to get a hold of me if and when that situation sees the light of day.
And it really changed my language around referrals. I'm lucky that when I make a ring, people
wear it out, their friends start talking, it becomes conversational. I get a phone call.
This is Sandy. I'm a friend of Monica's. I was at her engagement party. Or this is Dan.
David told me how much he enjoyed working with you on Monica's engagement ring. And
I'm looking to propose in the next three, five months, things like that. And sometimes
referrals become a taproot referrals refer that refer. And that's ideal because it means
that one relationship is returning its investment in the form of three to four generations of
next clients.
One of the softest ways to be worked into somebody's psyche or in a conversation is simply asking
to be introduced. Thankfully, it's becoming more and more of a normal culture on LinkedIn,
which is a digital way to build a network. In my opinion, the introduction is the anti-elevator
pitch. It's allowing somebody else to talk about you in a way that allows them to recreate
their experience of you versus you having to be your own hype man. And if you do end
up having to do your own introduction, it's really wonderful when you don't make it about
you, but you make it about the opportunity for other people where you get to be a service
or value.
So let's say that you're going to a networking event. There are two types that I've been
to. There's the known networking event where you can look it up and prepare and get an
idea of the context or the reason or the intention, maybe even the vibe. And of course,
the unknown event where any type of theme or agenda gets revealed when you're there.
I went to one called the pink slip party for people who had just lost their jobs. What
we didn't know that was going to happen is they had a plan to have icebreakers and there
was a special guest that guest was somebody who had everybody's business card put into
a giant bowl, grab the microphone was a very impromptu kind of conversation. And the next
thing you know, somebody's business card is being drawn and it is a $500 gift certificate
to get new business attire. That only was that a solution in case your wardrobe is outdated,
but also it generated a collective feeling of being supported even if we didn't win
this surprise raffle. The morale boost was enough. Being able to be happy was that dope
mean hit that gave us a little glimmer of, hmm, I wonder how much longer it is until
we're next.
Whether your networking event is live or online, it's easier to understand how to negotiate
the conversation with somebody. If you can start looking at the type that they are when
they're in networking events. And I like to break it down into four camps. I have my intentional
people and they're the ones who usually are super prepared. They know exactly what they
want to give in a conversation and what they want to be given. They're usually the most
identifiable. The next group is what I call the organic attendees. And they're a little
bit more free play, flow state, open association. They're in the moment of thinking out loud
kind of interaction. So it may take having to sift through digressions and meanderings,
but there's also a genuine curiosity around not knowing what the two of you might discuss
or what you have in common or where your exchange is going to align and or intersect. A third
group is what I call the Emotionals and they're going there to feel something. Maybe they
want to feel good. Maybe they want to have that aha reaction and get all inspired, laid
back to a point, but definitely reactive instead of proactive. It's usually the kind of person
who is scanning, waiting for some type of hit so that there is a comprehension through
that emotional lens. And then the light bulb, the engagement, the I know what to do with
this now. And these are the same people that should they get the sense that there's not
much for them in this networking event, they will be some of the first people to leave.
And lastly, the social ones, they're not necessarily there to see who needs to know them. They're
not particularly invested. They're usually the group that just wants to know, do these
people belong in my orbit? Or do they belong in this group of people that they've chosen
to go and check out? Now, there's plenty of business that happens in social environments.
And that belonging factor is what balances how much of an individual you are, whether
you're somebody who spends most of their day in what I call me state, there has to be a
ratio of your life that is quote unquote, we state the best social networking I've done
at the events, I belong at least, what am I doing at the baby shower? Why am I at the
bachelorette party? Or now I'm attending the wedding, it's just a I'm the floater.
And yet those are the things that turn out to be the most consistently surprising for
me. And as much as we think we're so very different, it's what I call stranger magic,
there will be zero to two degrees of separation, as far as common ground with me, and just about
anybody that you can put me next to. I think this is just the nature of the beast of social
networking.
And now, here are the things that I can recommend in both live and online. Let's start with
live. Once upon a time, they told you to have an elevator pitch. That's you saying who you
are, what you do, and why it's valuable in 10 seconds, 30 seconds, and one minute. They
usually looked a little like, my name is Kendra Lockhart. I'm the jewelry designer at this
business. We specialize in European design and high end timepieces. And the value is
that we can restore heirlooms, especially from overseas. A slight improvement, but it's also
getting a little fatigued are the I help statements, I help career women learn how to get better
and more ideal clients through the use of astrology and natal charts. It takes some of
the engagement off of you and into the part of your brain going, huh, do I know anybody
who could benefit from that? So it's a little easier to inspire the listener. But the way
I like to network is I ask a question to find out somebody's familiarity with what I do.
I'll say I've got a pretty good sense. You've probably never met anyone who does what I
do. I create intrigue, I play a little bit of mystery, and then I'll say it very matter
of factly. It's how to be memorable. I also highly recommend exchanging information after
15 minutes. Stay present, nurture your connection, or let it run its course. Maybe you're only
supposed to talk to this person for 10 minutes. Not everybody needs to be able to recommend
you. Your best practices are going to be active or committed listening, forwarding the
conversation that sometimes looks like ensuring that the topics have an arc, a beginning,
a middle and an end, so that other people can bring up other ideas. It's a consideration
game. Does everybody think in talking points? No. But if you've ever had that look on your
face of being a little trapped conversationally, hoping for an excuse, an exit, or even a rescue,
9 times out of 10, it's because somebody has gone in the weeds of their own mind, or is
really in love with the sound of their voice, or finds their quote unquote bedtime stories
better than anybody else's. As far as your own personal energy management, I can't emphasize
enough the value of taking breaks. And that doesn't mean go to the bathroom and check
your phone. It means pull back a little, put some negative space into all the talking and
listening. Go and admire some of the decor in the venue. Check out the piece of art on
the wall. Take a little intermission is what I'm saying. Allow your brain the chance to
take a beat and reset. This is a concentration circumstance. It can become the law of diminishing
returns as far as number of conversations. Regarding online, I'll leave you with these
advices, share insightful content, an article that might make something easier for you,
or exposes you to a different perspective, or suggests a fresh idea. Join relevant groups.
I had to excuse myself as a podcaster from an online broadcasting page simply because
there was very little activity in it. And the baseline of people's helpfulness seemed
pretty outdated. When online comments are happening, be helpful in the sense of answering questions
if questions are being asked. But the byproduct is that you're sharpening your knives as far
as getting heard as some type of authority on something. Some questions are incredibly
general, and you might be that great guy who's got very general answers consistently. Or
they're a little more esoteric. You develop a reputation of being the person who knows
off the beaten and unusual things. And lastly online, we all tend to fall into habits and
patterns of going with our comfort zones. Diversify. Put yourself in spaces where you
are strengthening the muscle of wonder, curiosity, and professional unfamiliarity. Try something
new. Because if you're always doing what you've always done, you're always getting
what you've always gotten. Happy networking.
Thank you for listening and learning with me. I would love you to share this project
with people finding rare beauty in today's world and throughout our times. Until the
next episode, keep your own story sparkling.