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Welcome to the GuiltTrips podcast. I'm your host, Kendra Lockhart. As a goldsmith and

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gemologist, I'll be speaking 24 carat on all things jewelry, metals, and gems. Join

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me plus a few friends to demystify both materials and designs as your private jeweler. Let's

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tune in on these topics and get golden. The timing for this episode could not have been

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better. Today's client who came in to sell her valuables was discussing how much she

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regretted a purchase while on vacation. Given that the topic is buyer's remorse, let's

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set this up. I'm going to cover both the professional regrets that we have when we acquire something

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that didn't match our expectation as well as consumer chagrin. And obviously, given

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that the jewelry industry has always had to deal with vigilance around authenticity, of

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course, we're going to explore that aspect and element of the remorse. I've been looking

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forward to this episode for a while simply because there are so many people out there

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that love to talk about their great buy or how they scored or what they flipped. And in

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my case, I love a brilliant restoration story. You'll hear it from both people inside the

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jewelry world as much as you will from the public. They've got a guy. What a great deal

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on their watch, their engagement ring, their anniversary present. But there's so much

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to be learned in the shadow of all those highs. In fact, it's the lows that end up really

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making you an excellent strategist as far as what to buy and what to pass on.

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For context, you can have a great buy at any age. If you've listened to my episode on

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Harry Winston, he wasn't even 12 years old when he spotted a find in a pawn shop and

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took his 25 cent selection and turned it for over $800. When I was 23 years old, I saw

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a necklace in a pre-owned case in a jewelry store for $300 in 14 karat gold. And while

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it was in a neighborhood that couldn't possibly appreciate its design value, I knew that if

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I acquired it here and then sold it elsewhere, I would be sitting pretty. And that's what

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happened. $300 became $950 in just a couple months. Usually, the key to success is having

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a good eye. It's also going to boil down to intuition. You can't use a math brain for

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this, nor can you overanalyze. And of course, talking yourself out of it is the kiss of

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death. It's been 20 years and I was madly in love with a tanzanite that was part of

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one of our open houses in a jewelry store I was working at. Violet has been my favorite

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color since as long as I can remember. And instead of purchasing a stone that would only

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appreciate and still holds my heart, I talked myself into something that was half the price

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that I was disappointed in by the end of the day. This was an excellent conversation I

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had with the president of the company that I'm currently working for. What spaces or

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context you're in to create buyer's remorse. For many jewelers, it's trying to be on an

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unrealistic budget. And that's how I got myself in the situation of buying a pearl that was

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only $50 for a project. The center of it had a metallic BB to increase its weight. The

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rest of it was just a few layers of shellac. And I got to find this out when I was trying

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to drill into it so that I could set it on a post for a pendant. Now we don't know how

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far back the scam goes. Did the person who was the pearl dealer know how it was created

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or the importer before her? Sometimes the challenge is that none of us were the wiser

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until it lands in the hands of somebody on the workbench. Another vulnerable space is

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when you really need a sale. In moments like that, I make jokes that bad luck can smell

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it on you. There was a ring scam online where a client was responding to my posting of an

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item for sale. And of course it was I want to send you the money ASAP. I already have

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my own FedEx label. Please let me know when this hits your PayPal. I need this out today.

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Here's a screenshot of me sending it to you. And I was young at the time. So I did get

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excited and I did FedEx it. Based on that screenshot, I'll check the bank later. His

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end shows it was sent. There never was a transaction. And it was divine intervention that whoever

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was supposed to be around to sign for this ring that I shipped out wasn't. And my package

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got returned to me. There are other instances where usually the ego gets in the way. And

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it's pride or vanity or envy of a competitor. Those are the stories I usually get to hear

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that come as no surprise. And we all know that won't be the last time that that happens.

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It will be the same scenario. Just different names. The person who wanted to buy the gold

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only to find out that it was heavily plated. Or that the hallmarks were false. In other

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situations, assumption was what made for a bad buy. Not testing the gems. Acquiring

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simulant jewels. Even in some of the top companies in the world of purchasing, consigning and

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auctioning. Glass has been bought as a diamond and a doublet or a veneer has been bought

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as a genuine gem. Counterfeiting is most prevalent from my experience in the world

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of watches. What slipped past a manager at a previous place of employment was that the

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head of the Rolex was 18 karat gold. But the original bracelet had been detached and a

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base metal one put on with it being stamped as 18 karat gold as well. Lucky for her, it

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was a consignment situation and so it got kicked back to the client. Which was unfortunate

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for the client because he originally bought it as 18 karat solid watch. One of the easiest

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times to get duped is in the world of silver goods. Assuming when it is stamped 925 where

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it says sterling even though it's a very low priced item, it's still worth testing.

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Especially if you're going to do repair on it. I dodged a bullet because somebody gave

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me their cigarette holder that they swore was true to its stated metal. All you have

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to do is begin to warm it up a little bit or scratch test it on a lodestone with 18

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karat acid. And this was definitely garbage metal. It was doing a fantastic job of passing

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itself off as something else. Not only does a buyer or consumer have to concern themselves

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with the product that they're purchasing, but there's also vigilance around the seller

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in situations such as being a buyer or being someone who facilitates consignment or someone

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who works at the auction house. There are some basic questions to ask yourself when

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you're in negotiations. Is the seller's expectation as far as compensation usual and

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customary for the item? Is the behavior or appearance in alignment with an authentic

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version of this item? Does the chain of custody raise any concerns? Are you able to use gemological

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or metallurgical equipment to confirm the materials in the product? That's the objective

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part. Going back to intuition, now it comes down to what sense do you get from the seller?

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Does it add up that they would be in possession of this item? For example, if you are able

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to look them up online and they happen to have a very modest position or line of work,

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why are they bringing in a $100,000 watch? Another situation was a high value item in

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an appointment with two high school boys or the woman looking to sell her family treasures

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as she had recently experienced a death, but instead of being in a position of grief or

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solace, she seemed upbeat and radiant. Now, that buyer didn't rule out that maybe he

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was across from somebody who was relieved to lose this relative or the possibility of

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a total sociopath, but if this was an act, they weren't putting on a very good performance.

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You don't bring in heirlooms and say you recently lost your mother or your father or your marital

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partner and then have a vibe of skippity-doo. These are just a few of the cards you have

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to hold in your hand to be on guard for when you find yourself in a position of professional

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purchasing or a private sale. And it was perfect that this client was saying how she was so

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excited to go on this exotic vacation to Cape Town and that she was so impressed with this

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gem she had never heard of before, a tanz knight, and that she couldn't wait to buy herself

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a piece to remind her of this trip. And while her style usually loves statement pieces,

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she had talked herself into something a little more understated and she was in the office

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looking to sell it because of that remorse. The client asked, does this happen a lot?

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Do you meet other people like me? So I tactfully explained some of the reasons why I see quote

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unquote end users be disappointed in what they've acquired or treated themselves to

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or asked for as a gift and then received is that they were over-emotional about the wanting

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or they were attempting to have a piece be status or make them be perceived a certain

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way or reflect a certain lifestyle or level of affluence and the experience didn't measure

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up. Sometimes people are deeply distracted when they're asking themselves what is it

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they truly desire and so the purchase comes out of not being able to get clarity around

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that. In the case of today's engagement ring shoppers, where their regret shows up is in

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the unfamiliarity with the product such as the wearability of their first time piece.

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I ended up selling my chronograph because it became burdensome to wear five pounds

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of steel around my tiny wrist, but there are plenty of people out there who don't know

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what to expect as far as the product or the process and there aren't too many retailers

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who are saying sure take it for a test drive. We don't mind. Usually it's final sale, no

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return, no exchange, especially if it's branded jewelry or a high-end watch.

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So I have six basic ways to get into my intuition to have a sense or a baseline whether I need

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to be buying something as a consumer or be purchasing from consumers. The first one is

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slow your mind down. If you're overthinking or rushing, then you're not in your senses.

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The next is check your body sensations. How does your chest feel? What's up with your

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stomach? Are there other ways that you are trying to either suppress or discharge extra

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energy for lack of better words? My hands are steady after years of being on the workbench,

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but if I get a nervous tap going on, then I'm not centered in my affairs. Building on

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that, which emotion am I in? Is this a comfortable experience for me? And if not, can I identify

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what it is I'm feeling? Being present, not having my mind worry about what just happened

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or what's going to happen. You're at your clearest and most perceptive when you're

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right here right now. Start small and get some easy wins so that you can truly connect

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with what your instincts feel like and get that feedback loop with yourself through distinction

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and recognition. And lastly, we're all going to blow it. Review your mistakes. Replay the

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tapes in your head or go backwards through your paces and see where it was that you started

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to drift away from the situation or your intention or your reaction. Thanks for listening. I'll

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see you next time.

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Thank you for listening and learning with me. I would love you to share this project

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with people finding rare beauty in today's world and throughout our times. Until the

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next episode, keep your own story sparkling.