Welcome to the GuiltTrips podcast. I'm your host, Kendra Lockhart. As a goldsmith and
gemologist, I'll be speaking 24 carat on all things jewelry, metals, and gems. Join
me plus a few friends to demystify both materials and designs as your private jeweler. Let's
tune in on these topics and get golden. The timing for this episode could not have been
better. Today's client who came in to sell her valuables was discussing how much she
regretted a purchase while on vacation. Given that the topic is buyer's remorse, let's
set this up. I'm going to cover both the professional regrets that we have when we acquire something
that didn't match our expectation as well as consumer chagrin. And obviously, given
that the jewelry industry has always had to deal with vigilance around authenticity, of
course, we're going to explore that aspect and element of the remorse. I've been looking
forward to this episode for a while simply because there are so many people out there
that love to talk about their great buy or how they scored or what they flipped. And in
my case, I love a brilliant restoration story. You'll hear it from both people inside the
jewelry world as much as you will from the public. They've got a guy. What a great deal
on their watch, their engagement ring, their anniversary present. But there's so much
to be learned in the shadow of all those highs. In fact, it's the lows that end up really
making you an excellent strategist as far as what to buy and what to pass on.
For context, you can have a great buy at any age. If you've listened to my episode on
Harry Winston, he wasn't even 12 years old when he spotted a find in a pawn shop and
took his 25 cent selection and turned it for over $800. When I was 23 years old, I saw
a necklace in a pre-owned case in a jewelry store for $300 in 14 karat gold. And while
it was in a neighborhood that couldn't possibly appreciate its design value, I knew that if
I acquired it here and then sold it elsewhere, I would be sitting pretty. And that's what
happened. $300 became $950 in just a couple months. Usually, the key to success is having
a good eye. It's also going to boil down to intuition. You can't use a math brain for
this, nor can you overanalyze. And of course, talking yourself out of it is the kiss of
death. It's been 20 years and I was madly in love with a tanzanite that was part of
one of our open houses in a jewelry store I was working at. Violet has been my favorite
color since as long as I can remember. And instead of purchasing a stone that would only
appreciate and still holds my heart, I talked myself into something that was half the price
that I was disappointed in by the end of the day. This was an excellent conversation I
had with the president of the company that I'm currently working for. What spaces or
context you're in to create buyer's remorse. For many jewelers, it's trying to be on an
unrealistic budget. And that's how I got myself in the situation of buying a pearl that was
only $50 for a project. The center of it had a metallic BB to increase its weight. The
rest of it was just a few layers of shellac. And I got to find this out when I was trying
to drill into it so that I could set it on a post for a pendant. Now we don't know how
far back the scam goes. Did the person who was the pearl dealer know how it was created
or the importer before her? Sometimes the challenge is that none of us were the wiser
until it lands in the hands of somebody on the workbench. Another vulnerable space is
when you really need a sale. In moments like that, I make jokes that bad luck can smell
it on you. There was a ring scam online where a client was responding to my posting of an
item for sale. And of course it was I want to send you the money ASAP. I already have
my own FedEx label. Please let me know when this hits your PayPal. I need this out today.
Here's a screenshot of me sending it to you. And I was young at the time. So I did get
excited and I did FedEx it. Based on that screenshot, I'll check the bank later. His
end shows it was sent. There never was a transaction. And it was divine intervention that whoever
was supposed to be around to sign for this ring that I shipped out wasn't. And my package
got returned to me. There are other instances where usually the ego gets in the way. And
it's pride or vanity or envy of a competitor. Those are the stories I usually get to hear
that come as no surprise. And we all know that won't be the last time that that happens.
It will be the same scenario. Just different names. The person who wanted to buy the gold
only to find out that it was heavily plated. Or that the hallmarks were false. In other
situations, assumption was what made for a bad buy. Not testing the gems. Acquiring
simulant jewels. Even in some of the top companies in the world of purchasing, consigning and
auctioning. Glass has been bought as a diamond and a doublet or a veneer has been bought
as a genuine gem. Counterfeiting is most prevalent from my experience in the world
of watches. What slipped past a manager at a previous place of employment was that the
head of the Rolex was 18 karat gold. But the original bracelet had been detached and a
base metal one put on with it being stamped as 18 karat gold as well. Lucky for her, it
was a consignment situation and so it got kicked back to the client. Which was unfortunate
for the client because he originally bought it as 18 karat solid watch. One of the easiest
times to get duped is in the world of silver goods. Assuming when it is stamped 925 where
it says sterling even though it's a very low priced item, it's still worth testing.
Especially if you're going to do repair on it. I dodged a bullet because somebody gave
me their cigarette holder that they swore was true to its stated metal. All you have
to do is begin to warm it up a little bit or scratch test it on a lodestone with 18
karat acid. And this was definitely garbage metal. It was doing a fantastic job of passing
itself off as something else. Not only does a buyer or consumer have to concern themselves
with the product that they're purchasing, but there's also vigilance around the seller
in situations such as being a buyer or being someone who facilitates consignment or someone
who works at the auction house. There are some basic questions to ask yourself when
you're in negotiations. Is the seller's expectation as far as compensation usual and
customary for the item? Is the behavior or appearance in alignment with an authentic
version of this item? Does the chain of custody raise any concerns? Are you able to use gemological
or metallurgical equipment to confirm the materials in the product? That's the objective
part. Going back to intuition, now it comes down to what sense do you get from the seller?
Does it add up that they would be in possession of this item? For example, if you are able
to look them up online and they happen to have a very modest position or line of work,
why are they bringing in a $100,000 watch? Another situation was a high value item in
an appointment with two high school boys or the woman looking to sell her family treasures
as she had recently experienced a death, but instead of being in a position of grief or
solace, she seemed upbeat and radiant. Now, that buyer didn't rule out that maybe he
was across from somebody who was relieved to lose this relative or the possibility of
a total sociopath, but if this was an act, they weren't putting on a very good performance.
You don't bring in heirlooms and say you recently lost your mother or your father or your marital
partner and then have a vibe of skippity-doo. These are just a few of the cards you have
to hold in your hand to be on guard for when you find yourself in a position of professional
purchasing or a private sale. And it was perfect that this client was saying how she was so
excited to go on this exotic vacation to Cape Town and that she was so impressed with this
gem she had never heard of before, a tanz knight, and that she couldn't wait to buy herself
a piece to remind her of this trip. And while her style usually loves statement pieces,
she had talked herself into something a little more understated and she was in the office
looking to sell it because of that remorse. The client asked, does this happen a lot?
Do you meet other people like me? So I tactfully explained some of the reasons why I see quote
unquote end users be disappointed in what they've acquired or treated themselves to
or asked for as a gift and then received is that they were over-emotional about the wanting
or they were attempting to have a piece be status or make them be perceived a certain
way or reflect a certain lifestyle or level of affluence and the experience didn't measure
up. Sometimes people are deeply distracted when they're asking themselves what is it
they truly desire and so the purchase comes out of not being able to get clarity around
that. In the case of today's engagement ring shoppers, where their regret shows up is in
the unfamiliarity with the product such as the wearability of their first time piece.
I ended up selling my chronograph because it became burdensome to wear five pounds
of steel around my tiny wrist, but there are plenty of people out there who don't know
what to expect as far as the product or the process and there aren't too many retailers
who are saying sure take it for a test drive. We don't mind. Usually it's final sale, no
return, no exchange, especially if it's branded jewelry or a high-end watch.
So I have six basic ways to get into my intuition to have a sense or a baseline whether I need
to be buying something as a consumer or be purchasing from consumers. The first one is
slow your mind down. If you're overthinking or rushing, then you're not in your senses.
The next is check your body sensations. How does your chest feel? What's up with your
stomach? Are there other ways that you are trying to either suppress or discharge extra
energy for lack of better words? My hands are steady after years of being on the workbench,
but if I get a nervous tap going on, then I'm not centered in my affairs. Building on
that, which emotion am I in? Is this a comfortable experience for me? And if not, can I identify
what it is I'm feeling? Being present, not having my mind worry about what just happened
or what's going to happen. You're at your clearest and most perceptive when you're
right here right now. Start small and get some easy wins so that you can truly connect
with what your instincts feel like and get that feedback loop with yourself through distinction
and recognition. And lastly, we're all going to blow it. Review your mistakes. Replay the
tapes in your head or go backwards through your paces and see where it was that you started
to drift away from the situation or your intention or your reaction. Thanks for listening. I'll
see you next time.
Thank you for listening and learning with me. I would love you to share this project
with people finding rare beauty in today's world and throughout our times. Until the
next episode, keep your own story sparkling.