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Hi, welcome to Un-Fuck Yourself with Kat Alexander.

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Today is July 8th and this week we are starting to talk about the benefits of authenticity.

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We'll go back to the ways we avoid it and why we do that at a later time but I told

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you in my video recently that I want to also start sharing with you some reasons to look

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forward to it.

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So here we go.

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Being authentic is like having a superpower in today's world.

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When you keep it real and true to yourself, you end up building stronger connections.

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You boost your confidence, you feel more fulfilled, life feels better.

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This genuine vibe helps create trust, deeper relationships.

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Plus, you know guys, when you're authentic, you're more likely to attract the right people

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and opportunities into your life and that is because if you're true to yourself and

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others don't like it, they'll eventually fall off and that's okay.

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For every time we have somebody in our lives and spend time with them that we don't relate

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to or resonate with, we have to be fake.

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So might as well drop off the people that don't align with us.

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In society, we get caught up in appearances and expectations.

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If I stay true to myself, I find that life is more refreshing.

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So whether you're hanging out with friends or hustling at work, authenticity brings out

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the best in everyone around you.

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Sorry guys, my couch is in and out of my room.

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Okay, so here are some benefits.

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I'm going to list 20 of them that you can look forward to the more you become authentic.

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One, improve self-esteem.

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We start to like ourselves more when we're being ourselves.

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You know, it's like we become comfortable and we can be in our own skin and hang out

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with ourselves more.

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We have stronger relationships because the people that we will attract to us, accept

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us because something in us resonates with something in them and it becomes a safe place

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and a point of motivation and a point of enjoyment.

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We have greater happiness when we align ourselves with what's true to us.

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We really do.

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I am not as happy when I put on a mask and act a certain way because I have to be careful

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because certain people have certain perceptions and whatever else.

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It's frustrating and confining.

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Number four, we get reduced stress when we're authentic.

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Again, because we're not pretending.

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So stress reduced because we don't have to worry so much about what other people think

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when we're being ourselves.

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We get increased trust with ourselves and with others because I know that when I'm

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being real, I have a couple friends that I've met this last year and they just feel like

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they can let their hair down because if I'm going to say something, I'll say it.

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I won't be rude or anything, but I'm honest and upfront.

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They always know where they stand with me.

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I just tell it like it is.

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So people know they can trust what they see is what they get.

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Number six, when we're authentic, we make better decisions because the decisions we

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make are true to what we believe, to what we want, and we're not trying to people please.

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Number seven, there's enhanced creativity.

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We start to think for ourselves.

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It's like having a canvas and paint and nobody's ever going to see it.

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It may take a few tries because of insecurities and unfamiliarity with art or something, but

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if we just get out what's inside us, we'll really like it.

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Number eight, improved mental health.

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Come on, this is a no brainer.

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Look, if we feel like we're not good enough for other people and we continue to put ourselves

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around them or we are constantly worried about what society and people around us think that

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makes for people to be neurotic.

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It causes anxiety.

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It causes more insecurity.

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So being authentic and owning it, owning yourself, owning your tubing, that's going to go a

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long way to help reduce your stress.

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Personal growth.

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In order to be authentic, we go on these journeys and we look at what we believe and what we

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truly want.

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Today, I was writing a bucket list and I haven't done one for a while and I had one on Pinterest

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from last year, I think, and I went to go try to find it and it wasn't there on the

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two accounts that I know of.

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So obviously I have a third account that I no longer remember because it was a huge visual

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bucket list.

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But that's okay because it made me sit down and write out what I want now at this point

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in my life.

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And then I did put a little side column for things I used to want that I'm not sure I

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do anymore.

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And you know, as I develop this authenticity, I'll know if that still aligns with me or

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not.

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But anyway, we go through personal growth.

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We start evaluating what we value, what we believe, who we want to be around.

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Number 10, there's greater resilience.

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We are able to cope with things better when we're authentic.

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Number 11, consistency.

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We become more stable when we can trust ourselves and we know we're going to show up for ourselves.

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It produces a calmness within us.

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And who doesn't want more calmness and peace?

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Number 12, fulfillment.

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When we know who we are and we start making our own goals, our own bucket lists, and we

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start checking those off, we get joy and we get a, yeah buddy, I did that.

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Respect from others is number 13.

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I was in the car with some friends and one of my friends made a decision to not make

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a payment, which most people normally have to make.

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But she chose not to make that payment in order to fix her car.

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And she wasn't shy about it.

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She didn't, she just was like, yeah, I got in the solution.

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I just didn't pay X, Y, Z. I fixed my car.

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And my roommate started cracking up.

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And I think what was so funny is just that she was being true.

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It's who she is.

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It's what she did.

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She wasn't acting insecure.

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And my roommate really got tickled by that.

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And people do have respect when you just are yourself.

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Number 14, inner peace.

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I talked about this earlier.

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When we start being who we are, it can be scary at first.

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But eventually, the tribe we set up is our true people.

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We realize we're not pretending or playing.

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We're not constantly looking for reassurance and nervous and walking on eggshells.

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So we can just relax and be ourselves once we have set that tribe in place.

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Number 15, better communication.

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I had an incident where there was something on my heart.

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And it was in regards to a decision one of my roommates might make.

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And I never expressed it because I wasn't sure the issue was ever going to happen.

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And then it came up in a meeting one time.

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Somebody else brought it up.

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And why couldn't my roommate do X, Y, Z?

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And this person brought it up like four times.

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So finally, I just soft spoken said, well, OK.

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I looked at my roommate and I said, with you in the room, I'm just going to address it.

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If you were to do X, Y, Z, I would have to do A, B, C because I'm not willing to put

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up with or suffer the consequences that could come with that decision.

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I'm OK if the thing gets resolved before it happens.

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But if it's in this chaos, I'm uncomfortable with it and I would just have to walk out.

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You know, my roommate is a little rough around the edges, but you know what?

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She took it.

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She was fine with it because I was being soft spoken, honest, not blaming, just being myself,

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standing up for myself and standing up for what I could or couldn't do.

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And it turned out great.

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Number 16, alignment with goals.

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This is what I talked about, the bucket list.

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You know, some of those things that I used to want to do, I don't know that I want to

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do anymore.

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And that's how life is.

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Things change.

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We drop some things off as we grow and change.

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Some things become less important.

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Some things become new and intriguing.

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And when we're being authentic, then the goals that we reach for are going to bring us more

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joy.

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If I set a goal with my partner and it's something they want to do, yeah, it's OK to go ahead

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and do that and build camaraderie and shared experience and all that.

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But if I always only do what they want to do or what my friends want to do, I'm missing

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out on a whole bunch of stuff in the world.

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There's so much to do.

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And when we become authentic, we can actually make those goals to fit within ourselves.

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Number 18, improved physical health.

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Like I said, authenticity lowers stress.

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Also, you know, when I'm being authentic and feel safe around the people I'm with, I'm

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less likely to get so stirred up and anxious and maybe reach for ice cream or a drink or

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I'm all emotional and binge watch Netflix instead of working on a project.

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When I'm authentic and comfortable within my own skin, I don't have to escape.

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Number 19, empowerment.

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It helps us stand up for what we believe and what we value.

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Like I said in that example with my roommate, just being able to calmly state what it is

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that works for us.

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Number 20, freedom.

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When we're authentic, there's always going to be some pressure.

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I mean, especially social media is just harsh, you know, but we can start to let go of society's

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expectations and pressures because we're going to start finding those people in real time,

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in real life that connect with us and resonate with us.

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And they're okay with who we are exactly as we are right now.

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They love us.

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We don't have to pretend.

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Let go of the people you're pretending for.

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Find your tribe.

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And you know, what we value in the US is not what people value in Paraguay or Indonesia.

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Things change from community to community.

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So it's silly to constantly overly try to blend in with people rather than just be yourself.

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Anyway, so those are the 20 reasons that I brainstormed.

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I'll read them again.

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Improve self-esteem, stronger relationships, greater happiness, reduce stress, increase

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stress, better decision-making, enhanced creativity, improve mental health, personal growth, greater

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resilience, consistency, fulfillment, respect from others, inner peace, better communication,

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alignment with goals, authentic leadership, improve physical health, empowerment, and

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freedom.

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So I think I mentioned it yesterday.

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I think it was in my actual video from my YouTube channel.

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One of the things I really want to address, I've talked about in and out of this list

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is about finding our tribe and what that can do for us.

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So in order to do that, to really do that, we need to become authentic.

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You can find a tribe.

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You can jump into any group of people, adopt what they believe, fake it till you make it,

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keep nodding along to people please and to hopefully get likes back.

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Because in your heart of hearts, I think you'll find yourself like me, like I did.

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You know when people really aren't connecting with you.

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So I think that whether it's tomorrow or later this week, we are going to talk about finding

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our tribe by being authentic.

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Anyway, I hope you are having a great day again.

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Hello to all you out there.

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I checked my dynamic stats and so interesting.

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The people who are listening to my podcast, not even in my state.

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I really thought that some of the numbers were just from people I knew.

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But the truth is, none of them are.

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So I'm kind of excited and let's see, I'm going to be talking at some point about getting

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a group together through my personal website.

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Let me know, reach out to me.

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If you are in a place where you are deconstructing your faith, whether that's Christianity or

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something else, that means you're in a place where you are re-evaluating what you believe

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and what you don't.

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That can be a really scary process.

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It is a very scary process.

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Some people do it overnight.

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Other people, it takes years and they go through grief and pain because it could possibly and

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does mean walking away from people who have been part of your tribe.

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But if you would like to be in a group or hear more about that, reach out and let me

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know because that's something I've been through and I would be happy to be of support to you.

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Again, that's part of becoming authentic, finding out what you truly believe about your

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higher power or your philosophy on life.

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So this is Cat Alexander saying have a great day.

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It's beautiful.

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Go out there.

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Get out there and walk.

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I'll see you tomorrow.

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Bye bye.