Hi, welcome to Un-Fuck Yourself with Kat Alexander.
Today is July 8th and this week we are starting to talk about the benefits of authenticity.
We'll go back to the ways we avoid it and why we do that at a later time but I told
you in my video recently that I want to also start sharing with you some reasons to look
forward to it.
So here we go.
Being authentic is like having a superpower in today's world.
When you keep it real and true to yourself, you end up building stronger connections.
You boost your confidence, you feel more fulfilled, life feels better.
This genuine vibe helps create trust, deeper relationships.
Plus, you know guys, when you're authentic, you're more likely to attract the right people
and opportunities into your life and that is because if you're true to yourself and
others don't like it, they'll eventually fall off and that's okay.
For every time we have somebody in our lives and spend time with them that we don't relate
to or resonate with, we have to be fake.
So might as well drop off the people that don't align with us.
In society, we get caught up in appearances and expectations.
If I stay true to myself, I find that life is more refreshing.
So whether you're hanging out with friends or hustling at work, authenticity brings out
the best in everyone around you.
Sorry guys, my couch is in and out of my room.
Okay, so here are some benefits.
I'm going to list 20 of them that you can look forward to the more you become authentic.
One, improve self-esteem.
We start to like ourselves more when we're being ourselves.
You know, it's like we become comfortable and we can be in our own skin and hang out
with ourselves more.
We have stronger relationships because the people that we will attract to us, accept
us because something in us resonates with something in them and it becomes a safe place
and a point of motivation and a point of enjoyment.
We have greater happiness when we align ourselves with what's true to us.
We really do.
I am not as happy when I put on a mask and act a certain way because I have to be careful
because certain people have certain perceptions and whatever else.
It's frustrating and confining.
Number four, we get reduced stress when we're authentic.
Again, because we're not pretending.
So stress reduced because we don't have to worry so much about what other people think
when we're being ourselves.
We get increased trust with ourselves and with others because I know that when I'm
being real, I have a couple friends that I've met this last year and they just feel like
they can let their hair down because if I'm going to say something, I'll say it.
I won't be rude or anything, but I'm honest and upfront.
They always know where they stand with me.
I just tell it like it is.
So people know they can trust what they see is what they get.
Number six, when we're authentic, we make better decisions because the decisions we
make are true to what we believe, to what we want, and we're not trying to people please.
Number seven, there's enhanced creativity.
We start to think for ourselves.
It's like having a canvas and paint and nobody's ever going to see it.
It may take a few tries because of insecurities and unfamiliarity with art or something, but
if we just get out what's inside us, we'll really like it.
Number eight, improved mental health.
Come on, this is a no brainer.
Look, if we feel like we're not good enough for other people and we continue to put ourselves
around them or we are constantly worried about what society and people around us think that
makes for people to be neurotic.
It causes anxiety.
It causes more insecurity.
So being authentic and owning it, owning yourself, owning your tubing, that's going to go a
long way to help reduce your stress.
Personal growth.
In order to be authentic, we go on these journeys and we look at what we believe and what we
truly want.
Today, I was writing a bucket list and I haven't done one for a while and I had one on Pinterest
from last year, I think, and I went to go try to find it and it wasn't there on the
two accounts that I know of.
So obviously I have a third account that I no longer remember because it was a huge visual
bucket list.
But that's okay because it made me sit down and write out what I want now at this point
in my life.
And then I did put a little side column for things I used to want that I'm not sure I
do anymore.
And you know, as I develop this authenticity, I'll know if that still aligns with me or
not.
But anyway, we go through personal growth.
We start evaluating what we value, what we believe, who we want to be around.
Number 10, there's greater resilience.
We are able to cope with things better when we're authentic.
Number 11, consistency.
We become more stable when we can trust ourselves and we know we're going to show up for ourselves.
It produces a calmness within us.
And who doesn't want more calmness and peace?
Number 12, fulfillment.
When we know who we are and we start making our own goals, our own bucket lists, and we
start checking those off, we get joy and we get a, yeah buddy, I did that.
Respect from others is number 13.
I was in the car with some friends and one of my friends made a decision to not make
a payment, which most people normally have to make.
But she chose not to make that payment in order to fix her car.
And she wasn't shy about it.
She didn't, she just was like, yeah, I got in the solution.
I just didn't pay X, Y, Z. I fixed my car.
And my roommate started cracking up.
And I think what was so funny is just that she was being true.
It's who she is.
It's what she did.
She wasn't acting insecure.
And my roommate really got tickled by that.
And people do have respect when you just are yourself.
Number 14, inner peace.
I talked about this earlier.
When we start being who we are, it can be scary at first.
But eventually, the tribe we set up is our true people.
We realize we're not pretending or playing.
We're not constantly looking for reassurance and nervous and walking on eggshells.
So we can just relax and be ourselves once we have set that tribe in place.
Number 15, better communication.
I had an incident where there was something on my heart.
And it was in regards to a decision one of my roommates might make.
And I never expressed it because I wasn't sure the issue was ever going to happen.
And then it came up in a meeting one time.
Somebody else brought it up.
And why couldn't my roommate do X, Y, Z?
And this person brought it up like four times.
So finally, I just soft spoken said, well, OK.
I looked at my roommate and I said, with you in the room, I'm just going to address it.
If you were to do X, Y, Z, I would have to do A, B, C because I'm not willing to put
up with or suffer the consequences that could come with that decision.
I'm OK if the thing gets resolved before it happens.
But if it's in this chaos, I'm uncomfortable with it and I would just have to walk out.
You know, my roommate is a little rough around the edges, but you know what?
She took it.
She was fine with it because I was being soft spoken, honest, not blaming, just being myself,
standing up for myself and standing up for what I could or couldn't do.
And it turned out great.
Number 16, alignment with goals.
This is what I talked about, the bucket list.
You know, some of those things that I used to want to do, I don't know that I want to
do anymore.
And that's how life is.
Things change.
We drop some things off as we grow and change.
Some things become less important.
Some things become new and intriguing.
And when we're being authentic, then the goals that we reach for are going to bring us more
joy.
If I set a goal with my partner and it's something they want to do, yeah, it's OK to go ahead
and do that and build camaraderie and shared experience and all that.
But if I always only do what they want to do or what my friends want to do, I'm missing
out on a whole bunch of stuff in the world.
There's so much to do.
And when we become authentic, we can actually make those goals to fit within ourselves.
Number 18, improved physical health.
Like I said, authenticity lowers stress.
Also, you know, when I'm being authentic and feel safe around the people I'm with, I'm
less likely to get so stirred up and anxious and maybe reach for ice cream or a drink or
I'm all emotional and binge watch Netflix instead of working on a project.
When I'm authentic and comfortable within my own skin, I don't have to escape.
Number 19, empowerment.
It helps us stand up for what we believe and what we value.
Like I said in that example with my roommate, just being able to calmly state what it is
that works for us.
Number 20, freedom.
When we're authentic, there's always going to be some pressure.
I mean, especially social media is just harsh, you know, but we can start to let go of society's
expectations and pressures because we're going to start finding those people in real time,
in real life that connect with us and resonate with us.
And they're okay with who we are exactly as we are right now.
They love us.
We don't have to pretend.
Let go of the people you're pretending for.
Find your tribe.
And you know, what we value in the US is not what people value in Paraguay or Indonesia.
Things change from community to community.
So it's silly to constantly overly try to blend in with people rather than just be yourself.
Anyway, so those are the 20 reasons that I brainstormed.
I'll read them again.
Improve self-esteem, stronger relationships, greater happiness, reduce stress, increase
stress, better decision-making, enhanced creativity, improve mental health, personal growth, greater
resilience, consistency, fulfillment, respect from others, inner peace, better communication,
alignment with goals, authentic leadership, improve physical health, empowerment, and
freedom.
So I think I mentioned it yesterday.
I think it was in my actual video from my YouTube channel.
One of the things I really want to address, I've talked about in and out of this list
is about finding our tribe and what that can do for us.
So in order to do that, to really do that, we need to become authentic.
You can find a tribe.
You can jump into any group of people, adopt what they believe, fake it till you make it,
keep nodding along to people please and to hopefully get likes back.
Because in your heart of hearts, I think you'll find yourself like me, like I did.
You know when people really aren't connecting with you.
So I think that whether it's tomorrow or later this week, we are going to talk about finding
our tribe by being authentic.
Anyway, I hope you are having a great day again.
Hello to all you out there.
I checked my dynamic stats and so interesting.
The people who are listening to my podcast, not even in my state.
I really thought that some of the numbers were just from people I knew.
But the truth is, none of them are.
So I'm kind of excited and let's see, I'm going to be talking at some point about getting
a group together through my personal website.
Let me know, reach out to me.
If you are in a place where you are deconstructing your faith, whether that's Christianity or
something else, that means you're in a place where you are re-evaluating what you believe
and what you don't.
That can be a really scary process.
It is a very scary process.
Some people do it overnight.
Other people, it takes years and they go through grief and pain because it could possibly and
does mean walking away from people who have been part of your tribe.
But if you would like to be in a group or hear more about that, reach out and let me
know because that's something I've been through and I would be happy to be of support to you.
Again, that's part of becoming authentic, finding out what you truly believe about your
higher power or your philosophy on life.
So this is Cat Alexander saying have a great day.
It's beautiful.
Go out there.
Get out there and walk.
I'll see you tomorrow.
Bye bye.