1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:29,720 Hi and welcome back to Tell Me What Happened, the podcast that features 2 00:00:29,720 --> 00:00:36,360 folks from all walks of life telling us one true childhood story and how that event, that 3 00:00:36,360 --> 00:00:42,400 experience, has impacted who they are today. I'm your host Jay Reaac and like you, I've 4 00:00:42,400 --> 00:00:48,160 had my share of childhood experiences. Some of them painful, some of them quite pleasant, 5 00:00:48,160 --> 00:00:51,800 but I'd like to think that everything that's ever happened to me has made me who I am today 6 00:00:51,800 --> 00:00:56,160 and I'd like to think it's made me a better person. Now that may not be true, but that's 7 00:00:56,160 --> 00:01:01,200 what I'd like to think. Anyway, Tell Me What Happened is sponsored by Sidelining Publishing, 8 00:01:01,200 --> 00:01:05,000 publishers of quality books including Susan Salazar's classics I've Got Peace in My 9 00:01:05,000 --> 00:01:12,600 Fingers and One Little Act of Kindness. All right, today I have as my guest Caleb Frankel. 10 00:01:12,600 --> 00:01:19,560 Caleb is a longtime family friend, but also co-founder of a financial technology company, 11 00:01:19,560 --> 00:01:24,880 Early Bird, which helps parents, family and friends collectively invest in a child's 12 00:01:24,880 --> 00:01:29,080 future, starting at the earliest age. Welcome to the show, Caleb. 13 00:01:29,080 --> 00:01:35,040 Thanks Jay, I'm really happy to be here. And then I am so happy to hear too, I know you're 14 00:01:35,040 --> 00:01:39,440 a busy guy, I know your business is booming and you're working all the time, but what 15 00:01:39,440 --> 00:01:44,440 I'd like to do is just ask you to tell us the one story and then when you're done, I'm 16 00:01:44,440 --> 00:01:48,840 going to ask you simply one question. How do you think what happened to you as a child 17 00:01:48,840 --> 00:01:52,080 has impacted you as an adult? So you ready to tell your story? 18 00:01:52,080 --> 00:01:53,080 I'm ready. 19 00:01:53,080 --> 00:01:55,360 All right, take it away, Caleb. 20 00:01:55,360 --> 00:02:02,120 So I am a native Chicagoan, born and raised on the north side across several neighborhoods, 21 00:02:02,120 --> 00:02:07,640 which is part of my story actually that I'll get into. I am the older brother of Gabe 22 00:02:07,640 --> 00:02:14,480 Frankel, my youngest brother, and then I have a step sister, Lisa of the Clay Pool. My dad 23 00:02:14,480 --> 00:02:20,760 is gnome and he grew up in Detroit, Michigan. My mom is also a native Chicagoan, but born 24 00:02:20,760 --> 00:02:26,160 and raised on the south side in Hyde Park. And my story really is about both the importance 25 00:02:26,160 --> 00:02:35,120 that family as a whole and what can happen when family is uprooted or there is a change 26 00:02:35,120 --> 00:02:40,480 in the nuclear family, especially as a young child and the impact that that can have both 27 00:02:40,480 --> 00:02:47,640 in the immediate for your kids and opportunities that it presents for those children in learning 28 00:02:47,640 --> 00:02:53,720 from that and creating survival mechanisms in order to become brighter, bigger, stronger, 29 00:02:53,720 --> 00:02:58,280 more resilient human beings. And that's really how I look at my story. So when I was a young 30 00:02:58,280 --> 00:03:05,080 kid, I had a very loving, traditional Jewish family. I remember very vividly being the older 31 00:03:05,080 --> 00:03:10,880 brother, sorry, the first child and not knowing that I would have a younger brother and really 32 00:03:10,880 --> 00:03:16,240 receiving all the love from my parents, my grandparents, my aunts, my uncles. When my little 33 00:03:16,240 --> 00:03:21,440 brother came in order to make sure that I knew he loved me and would I'd still be appreciated 34 00:03:21,440 --> 00:03:29,240 even as now a second child entered our family. They had gifted me roller skates courtesy 35 00:03:29,240 --> 00:03:34,040 of my younger brother upon his arrival and that was amazing. But my story really turns 36 00:03:34,040 --> 00:03:42,120 south as many kids unfortunately do. When my parents got divorced, I remember somewhat 37 00:03:42,120 --> 00:03:48,240 the trajectory from ages probably four to seven. But once my brother was born, he was 38 00:03:48,240 --> 00:03:53,600 three and a half years older. So I remember arguments being had, I remember across the 39 00:03:53,600 --> 00:03:56,960 board, I remember grabbing my brother and running down to the basement and making sure 40 00:03:56,960 --> 00:04:01,840 he didn't hear what they were saying. And we sort of had fun and played games while 41 00:04:01,840 --> 00:04:07,640 they were maybe arguing or working on something. And it was, I don't remember the pain, I remember 42 00:04:07,640 --> 00:04:14,640 being so much more a protector and feeling a responsibility and identity tied to this 43 00:04:14,640 --> 00:04:20,040 is normal parents fight, adults don't know how to communicate. And I am my younger brother's 44 00:04:20,040 --> 00:04:25,120 protector. And that felt really special to me. But I always thought that that I remember 45 00:04:25,120 --> 00:04:29,680 thinking at that age that everything would work out that this was normal. And this is 46 00:04:29,680 --> 00:04:35,680 part of a traditional family. And then at seven, that changed. My mom, who definitely 47 00:04:35,680 --> 00:04:41,920 supported my dad as he sort of was working and my mom was more stay at home taking care 48 00:04:41,920 --> 00:04:47,000 of the kids. She stuck up for herself. Something that I learned much later in life. She was 49 00:04:47,000 --> 00:04:52,680 unhappy in the relationship and wanted more wanted more respect wanted more to feel empowered. 50 00:04:52,680 --> 00:04:58,800 And she asked to split up with my father, not asked she demanded and they ended up 51 00:04:58,800 --> 00:05:04,760 spanking up. But my the real aspect of the story that sort of changed my life and that 52 00:05:04,760 --> 00:05:09,240 I share often with people of sort of what what has impacted you at the age from age 53 00:05:09,240 --> 00:05:17,840 seven to about age 12, I moved 20 times within a one mile radius in 20 different houses. 54 00:05:17,840 --> 00:05:23,560 And so not only did I not so divorce is very common. But for many children, maybe there's 55 00:05:23,560 --> 00:05:27,880 the stability of you know, one parent being there or there's stability of sort of two 56 00:05:27,880 --> 00:05:32,840 houses that you can call home. Unfortunately, and I don't know if this was a logistical 57 00:05:32,840 --> 00:05:39,040 mistake on my parents part or prioritization of self and selfishness on their end. In some 58 00:05:39,040 --> 00:05:44,600 ways I'm still reckoning and therapy with some of this, we sort of followed along. My brother 59 00:05:44,600 --> 00:05:48,040 and I followed along as my parents sort of moved from house to house and it wasn't a 60 00:05:48,040 --> 00:05:52,640 finance necessarily a financial issue. This was sort of we what they wanted to be close 61 00:05:52,640 --> 00:05:58,040 to each other they wanted to still be in the city. They also wanted equal access and time 62 00:05:58,040 --> 00:06:02,920 to their kids. But that caused sort of the complete instability of not having a centralized 63 00:06:02,920 --> 00:06:09,280 home. And so I remember not having any of the clothes or school work that I needed at 64 00:06:09,280 --> 00:06:14,440 the house that I was staying at. But what also happened is towards the end of that time period, 65 00:06:14,440 --> 00:06:21,320 after my mom had moved several times on her own, she ended up moving in with my grandparents, 66 00:06:21,320 --> 00:06:28,000 both her mom and her dad who have been divorced as well, and lived with and we lived with them 67 00:06:28,000 --> 00:06:34,360 respectively. We also started spending a lot more time with my dad's parents. And so the 68 00:06:34,360 --> 00:06:42,720 sort of immediate family close to us, we were absolutely supported by and welcomed in in 69 00:06:42,720 --> 00:06:50,440 a way that I don't think is often seen. And so I think I saw love and support from others 70 00:06:50,440 --> 00:06:55,600 outside of my family. And that goes for our relationship day, you know, our mutual connection 71 00:06:55,600 --> 00:07:02,120 as family friends, the boyers were also part of that network of people who welcomed me 72 00:07:02,120 --> 00:07:07,520 in when I didn't have stability at home. And so I started to spend a lot more time with 73 00:07:07,520 --> 00:07:14,640 friends, parents, aunts, uncles, grandparents, and really found respite comfort, support, 74 00:07:14,640 --> 00:07:22,240 and peace in other nests that I didn't necessarily wasn't blood related to wasn't born into, 75 00:07:22,240 --> 00:07:29,760 but was able to use that as a survival mechanism in to find happiness and to receive love and 76 00:07:29,760 --> 00:07:34,960 stability that I didn't have. And so that's my story. I thought you might tell that story 77 00:07:34,960 --> 00:07:38,960 or part of that story. I wasn't privy to all of it at the time. I did know that you hung 78 00:07:38,960 --> 00:07:44,120 out a lot with the friends of mine, mutual friends of mine. And subsequently I realized 79 00:07:44,120 --> 00:07:49,360 because I know you're both your folks that they got divorced, etc. But I didn't know 80 00:07:49,360 --> 00:07:54,520 that you'd traveled or moved around 20 times and that you had all those experiences. And 81 00:07:54,520 --> 00:07:59,760 I feel bad for you and Gabe because I know you both. The good news is from my point of 82 00:07:59,760 --> 00:08:04,840 view is that I know you now as adults and you guys are both highly successful and you 83 00:08:04,840 --> 00:08:10,880 seem both seem happy. I think you are. So whatever happens to you back then, I'm sure 84 00:08:10,880 --> 00:08:16,080 you still carry it as you mentioned, but I'd like to think that you came out of all right 85 00:08:16,080 --> 00:08:20,680 of it, but I'm not going to. That's not for me to say. I am now going to turn it to you 86 00:08:20,680 --> 00:08:26,600 and say, how do you think that what happened to you as a young man as a maybe a seven year 87 00:08:26,600 --> 00:08:30,480 old or seven to 12 year old? I mean, you know, 20 times you moved and everything else. How 88 00:08:30,480 --> 00:08:35,440 do you think that has impacted who you are today as an adult? 89 00:08:35,440 --> 00:08:41,000 Yeah, my story really impacted me in several ways that I've sort of reflected on over the 90 00:08:41,000 --> 00:08:47,600 years. The first being comfortable with the uncomfortable and the unknown. Now, I wouldn't 91 00:08:47,600 --> 00:08:54,360 choose this for my own children, but the lack of stability forced me at a very young age 92 00:08:54,360 --> 00:09:03,600 to never rely on anyone else to find peace and find comfort and that it was on me in 93 00:09:03,600 --> 00:09:10,520 the world as a whole in any situation, not just at home to find that comfort. And if 94 00:09:10,520 --> 00:09:14,960 the situation was uncomfortable, there's nothing I could do to necessarily change the situation. 95 00:09:14,960 --> 00:09:20,280 I could change my attitude towards that situation or I could go elsewhere to a situation that 96 00:09:20,280 --> 00:09:27,160 was different. And that gave me a sense of control over my being that I applied in all 97 00:09:27,160 --> 00:09:33,840 social settings in so many professional settings. The second was around confidence. It is one 98 00:09:33,840 --> 00:09:40,160 thing to have the endless love and support of your parents. And in some ways I had it 99 00:09:40,160 --> 00:09:45,920 in many ways I did not or I didn't know it and I still at times struggle remembering 100 00:09:45,920 --> 00:09:52,240 and still appreciating their full love. But what I got instead was a bigger community 101 00:09:52,240 --> 00:09:57,600 that told me that I was special, that I was important, that they loved me and that I was 102 00:09:57,600 --> 00:10:04,360 capable of anything. And when you have a constant community connected to you that puts food 103 00:10:04,360 --> 00:10:11,720 in your mouth, that spends money on you, that creates memories for you, that's life changing. 104 00:10:11,720 --> 00:10:17,720 And that was in so many ways a catalyst to the company that I started, Early Bird as 105 00:10:17,720 --> 00:10:24,520 well. And the last point and thing that I think I really took away from this story and 106 00:10:24,520 --> 00:10:32,880 period of my life was simply resiliency and how much I actually do have in me. I think 107 00:10:32,880 --> 00:10:40,160 I'm in many ways, I'm my harshest critic, but I can look back now on what I had for 108 00:10:40,160 --> 00:10:48,240 many years deemed a very normal childhood and recognize what I overcame and how much 109 00:10:48,240 --> 00:10:58,120 I've created from what was never an easy situation and my ability to navigate uncertain waters 110 00:10:58,120 --> 00:11:03,320 to create something really special. And like I said on the first point, it's incredibly 111 00:11:03,320 --> 00:11:09,400 empowering to be able to have a sense of who you are and where you came from and use those 112 00:11:09,400 --> 00:11:14,800 as tools to create a different future or a better future for yourself and for the family 113 00:11:14,800 --> 00:11:20,240 that you want to create. And that's kind of where I'm at now in my life, both as an adult 114 00:11:20,240 --> 00:11:27,800 and a loving husband, soon to be father and a founder of a company that's mission is entirely 115 00:11:27,800 --> 00:11:38,320 dedicated to supporting children from traditional, but more making it a norm to collectively, 116 00:11:38,320 --> 00:11:44,720 financially and emotionally support the children that we love, because we're all required and 117 00:11:44,720 --> 00:11:48,920 we all can make a difference, whether we live in the same city or we live on the same block, 118 00:11:48,920 --> 00:11:55,000 a child picks up a lot from the people, the adults that are around them and carry deeply 119 00:11:55,000 --> 00:12:00,120 and forever the memories that are created when you spend the time with them. 120 00:12:00,120 --> 00:12:04,080 Well, you know, the thing about you, Caleb, that you may not know, but I think you do 121 00:12:04,080 --> 00:12:08,360 is that I was a school teacher and I knew you in school, in your high school, you went 122 00:12:08,360 --> 00:12:11,600 to the same high school that I taught at, but I knew you before that I thought this 123 00:12:11,600 --> 00:12:17,080 is the most confident successful guy I know in the sense of young people because you never 124 00:12:17,080 --> 00:12:23,080 seem stressed about anything, you know, in terms of just the way you present it. I mean, 125 00:12:23,080 --> 00:12:27,240 obviously it tells us that. Yeah, find me the night before an exam in high school and 126 00:12:27,240 --> 00:12:33,240 I was not a confident young guy. Yeah, yeah, I'm saying, trust me, when I say that I realize 127 00:12:33,240 --> 00:12:37,760 that we all wear the veil as the poet says, is that we don't really know fully what other 128 00:12:37,760 --> 00:12:41,800 people are going through. I mean, I would never have imagined in a million years that 129 00:12:41,800 --> 00:12:46,440 there was any storm in your life at all, you seem to have like a, the golden touch in terms 130 00:12:46,440 --> 00:12:50,640 of the way you appeared. I'm not saying it was true. I'm saying it appeared that way. 131 00:12:50,640 --> 00:12:56,280 And I think Gabe also, your son, I hear son, Gabe, your brother came across quite confidently 132 00:12:56,280 --> 00:13:00,360 and I like that about both of you guys in the sense that I knew you and I'm happy that 133 00:13:00,360 --> 00:13:05,360 you're both doing well. But yeah, emotion of community, I think you really did hit it, 134 00:13:05,360 --> 00:13:11,200 which is not only is it your parents, but in your case, you had your grandparents helping 135 00:13:11,200 --> 00:13:17,960 out and then you also did have family friends guiding you or, you know, providing some sort 136 00:13:17,960 --> 00:13:24,640 of stability or deeper understanding of the value of you as a person, reminding you of 137 00:13:24,640 --> 00:13:30,920 it or reiterating it to you. And maybe that's why you seem like one of the most confident 138 00:13:30,920 --> 00:13:35,440 men I've ever met and young men that I've ever met. Again, you appear to be that way. 139 00:13:35,440 --> 00:13:40,880 I'm not saying that's really who you are. I realize that I don't know you well enough 140 00:13:40,880 --> 00:13:44,440 to know how deep, you know, it goes, but you always struck me that way. I've known a lot 141 00:13:44,440 --> 00:13:50,720 of the boy or friends and other friends, young men that you're my daughter's age, by the 142 00:13:50,720 --> 00:13:56,320 way. So I knew you as a consequence of my daughter being in your class, your high school 143 00:13:56,320 --> 00:14:00,960 class. But anyway, you know, you always appeared that way. And I do think that there's you 144 00:14:00,960 --> 00:14:06,160 really hit on something, which is we need a larger community. It's not just about mom 145 00:14:06,160 --> 00:14:10,880 and dad even, you know, in your case, you had the grandparents. That's, that's pretty 146 00:14:10,880 --> 00:14:16,840 cool. Yeah. And friends, parents are just as important. I think what that positivity 147 00:14:16,840 --> 00:14:21,480 from my broader community created was a sense of eternal optimism. And that no matter how 148 00:14:21,480 --> 00:14:29,400 hard stuff got, I always could find a light. And that I have a lot to think sort of continuing 149 00:14:29,400 --> 00:14:36,240 to grind and find the next thing that would help me find the light or the next person 150 00:14:36,240 --> 00:14:41,520 that would help me find the light. And that's sort of how I approach relationships. There 151 00:14:41,520 --> 00:14:47,080 is there's a give and take in all relationships. And hopefully I can be a light to my kid, 152 00:14:47,080 --> 00:14:52,760 of course, but other kids and to other people in my family that when things get tough, everybody 153 00:14:52,760 --> 00:14:58,160 needs somebody. And it's not just blood. And it's not just familial. There's different 154 00:14:58,160 --> 00:15:02,240 times and different places and different people. And I've been fortunate enough to have built 155 00:15:02,240 --> 00:15:06,000 and found the community that's helped me get to where I am. And I hope to do the same for 156 00:15:06,000 --> 00:15:12,040 others. I love it, man. I love the concept. You know, I've always liked your concept of 157 00:15:12,040 --> 00:15:17,520 early bird, but it is more than just financial. Trust me, I do understand that intellectually 158 00:15:17,520 --> 00:15:22,600 the idea that, you know, we build, we build this community. And I really appreciate you 159 00:15:22,600 --> 00:15:27,480 coming on this show because I know you're busy as I said, and I got some insights today 160 00:15:27,480 --> 00:15:33,440 that I didn't know. But a big fan of your optimism too. It's a funny thing because I 161 00:15:33,440 --> 00:15:37,280 was raised and nobody got divorced or anything like that. But I'm not, I'm nowhere near as 162 00:15:37,280 --> 00:15:40,640 optimistic as you are. So I respect you so much. 163 00:15:40,640 --> 00:15:42,120 There's always silver lining. 164 00:15:42,120 --> 00:15:46,280 That's beautiful. That's genius. I wish I had it like you have it. But anyway, thank 165 00:15:46,280 --> 00:15:47,520 you for coming on the show. 166 00:15:47,520 --> 00:15:49,520 Of course. Thanks for having me, Jay. 167 00:15:49,520 --> 00:15:54,360 All right. Well, that's our show. I'd like to thank once again, Caleb Franco for coming 168 00:15:54,360 --> 00:16:00,320 on the show telling us that sad, powerful, redemptive story. And so until next time, 169 00:16:00,320 --> 00:16:05,600 this is Jay Rehac asking you all to please stay safe out there and try not to hurt anybody.