WEBVTT

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Hi, and welcome to tell me what happened I'm

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your host Jay rehack And I'm here to listen to

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my friends and people I meet tell me a story

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about something that happened to them when they

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were young Something that probably caused them

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some hurt back then and now impacts the way they

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view the world as an adult It's my hope that

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by telling their stories my guests achieve a

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kind of temporary relief from their pain the

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childhood experience and that both the storyteller

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and the listener achieve some catharsis or emotional

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release. Sort of like the wedding guest in Coleridge's

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Rime of the Ancient Mariner, I'm hoping all of

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us who listen will be moved by the stories that

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are told, and although we all may feel a little

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bit sadder, we'll also feel a little bit wiser

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for the experience. Each week I'll be featuring

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stories from other people, but today, because

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it's the first episode of... Tell me what happened.

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I'm going to tell a story from my childhood.

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Afterwards, I'll tell you how it's impacted my

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life as an adult. We're going to end the show

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each week with the entire version of Susan Sarador's

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classic song, The Boo Boo Blues. It's the song

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you're listening to right now, underneath my

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voice. I hope you enjoy the show. If you do,

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subscribe, and please tell your friends about

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it. Now, on to my story. The story I'm going

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to tell you happened to me on my first day of

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kindergarten. What happened on that day has impacted

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me for almost 60 years. Now, before I begin my

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story, I've got to give you a little context.

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Almost from the moment I was born, I was big

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for my age. That continued, I'm six foot three

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now. Anyway, my father, on the other hand, was

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a sickly child. and almost didn't survive his

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childhood. My father was also an amateur boxer,

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although he told me he lost every fight he was

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ever in. He was also picked on by his classmates

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in grade school. I think it was for that reason

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that a few days before I was to go to kindergarten,

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my father taught me how to make a fist. I remember

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him telling me, son, you're a big boy, so you've

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got to be careful not to hurt anybody. But if

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you ever need to fight, this is how you throw

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a punch. Then he clenched my fist, and he showed

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me how to do it. I didn't really understand,

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but I said to him, OK, Dad. And I didn't really

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think too much about it. Anyway, my mother and

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my father both worked. And because of that, they

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were unable to take me to school every day. So

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they asked one of the older children in the neighborhood

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to walk me to school. For three days before school

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started, my mother walked me down to the end

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of the block and put my hand on a blue United

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States mailbox that was on the corner. She placed

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my hand on the mailbox and said, now every day

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I want you to put your hand on this mailbox and

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wait for Barb Hoganston to pick you up and walk

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you to school. Do you understand? I said yes

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and so on the first day of kindergarten, my mother

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placed my hand on the mailbox and then she went

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off to work. I waited patiently for a few minutes,

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and then I started to get a bit anxious. Then

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suddenly, a first grade boy who lived in the

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house on the corner came running out to me and

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said, get your hands off my mailbox. I looked

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at him and said, this isn't your mailbox. It's

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the United States government's mailbox. Get your

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hand off my mailbox, he said, and he pushed my

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hand off of it. I was scared, but I didn't want

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to disrespect my mother, so I reached back. and

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put my hand back on the mailbox. As soon as I

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did, the boy knocked it off again. Scared, I

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tried to explain to the boy that I had to keep

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my hand on the mailbox, and I reached back to

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touch it when this time he grabbed me and pulled

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me to the ground. We rolled around on the grass

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for a while until I managed to get on top of

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him. He kept swinging his hands at me and wiggling

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to try and get me off of him. I remember putting

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my knees on the inside of his elbows to try and

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stop him from hitting me. But he kept swinging

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his hands anyway. I remember leaning my face

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into his, trying to tell him that I was sorry,

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but I had to put my hand back on the mailbox

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because my mother told me to. But when I leaned

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in, one of his pinned hands sort of slapped me

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in the face. Something inside of me went off,

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and I pulled back my hand, made a fist, and punched

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the boy in the face. I remember he had glasses,

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and I remember that when I hit him, They fell

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off his face. I also remember him bleeding. Before

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I got up off of him, I said, now I'm going to

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get off of you and put my hand back on that mailbox,

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and there's nothing you can do about it. OK?

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But the boy didn't say anything. He was crying.

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But as soon as I got off of him, he ran into

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his house. So I stood there with one hand on

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the mailbox, shaking. I thought maybe he would

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come back with his mother or maybe an older brother.

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I mean, I didn't know if he had an older brother,

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but I stood there shaking and waiting. I remembered

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the words my mother and father had told me many

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times. Jay, you're a big boy. You have to be

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careful not to hurt anybody. Finally, after a

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couple of minutes, Barb Hogan -son came by and

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we walked to school. I never told her or my parents

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what happened. But every day, for the rest of

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the year, I put one hand on the mailbox and had

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my other fist clenched. I waited each day for

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that boy to come out of the house, but he never

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did. That fight, the first in my life, has impacted

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me for almost 60 years. I can't say it was the

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only fight I've ever been in, but... I'm 63 years

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old now, and I've spent my life trying to be

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nonviolent. In part because I can remember that

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boy's face. And I know I have it in me to hurt

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people. I'm reminded of the words of John Lennon

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of The Beatles who once said, I sing of peace

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because I know that in my heart I'm a violent

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person. Well, that's my childhood story and the

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impact it had on me. I feel better for telling

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it. I hope it was worth your time to listen to

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it. If you enjoyed this first episode of Tell

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Me What Happened, I hope you'll subscribe to

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this podcast and tell your friends. And if you'd

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like to come on to tell me what happened and

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tell us your painful childhood memory, email

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me at j -a -y -c -r -e -h -a -k at gmail .com

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and I'll be sure to get back to you. As promised,

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I'm going to end this show and every show with

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Susan Salador's fabulous song, Boo Boo Blues.

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Until next time, this is Jay Reac asking you

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to be safe out there and try not to hurt anyone.

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Let mama fix it for you.