Hi, and welcome to tell me what happened I'm
your host Jay rehack And I'm here to listen to
my friends and people I meet tell me a story
about something that happened to them when they
were young Something that probably caused them
some hurt back then and now impacts the way they
view the world as an adult It's my hope that
by telling their stories my guests achieve a
kind of temporary relief from their pain the
childhood experience and that both the storyteller
and the listener achieve some catharsis or emotional
release. Sort of like the wedding guest in Coleridge's
Rime of the Ancient Mariner, I'm hoping all of
us who listen will be moved by the stories that
are told, and although we all may feel a little
bit sadder, we'll also feel a little bit wiser
for the experience. Each week I'll be featuring
stories from other people, but today, because
it's the first episode of... Tell me what happened.
I'm going to tell a story from my childhood.
Afterwards, I'll tell you how it's impacted my
life as an adult. We're going to end the show
each week with the entire version of Susan Sarador's
classic song, The Boo Boo Blues. It's the song
you're listening to right now, underneath my
voice. I hope you enjoy the show. If you do,
subscribe, and please tell your friends about
it. Now, on to my story. The story I'm going
to tell you happened to me on my first day of
kindergarten. What happened on that day has impacted
me for almost 60 years. Now, before I begin my
story, I've got to give you a little context.
Almost from the moment I was born, I was big
for my age. That continued, I'm six foot three
now. Anyway, my father, on the other hand, was
a sickly child. and almost didn't survive his
childhood. My father was also an amateur boxer,
although he told me he lost every fight he was
ever in. He was also picked on by his classmates
in grade school. I think it was for that reason
that a few days before I was to go to kindergarten,
my father taught me how to make a fist. I remember
him telling me, son, you're a big boy, so you've
got to be careful not to hurt anybody. But if
you ever need to fight, this is how you throw
a punch. Then he clenched my fist, and he showed
me how to do it. I didn't really understand,
but I said to him, OK, Dad. And I didn't really
think too much about it. Anyway, my mother and
my father both worked. And because of that, they
were unable to take me to school every day. So
they asked one of the older children in the neighborhood
to walk me to school. For three days before school
started, my mother walked me down to the end
of the block and put my hand on a blue United
States mailbox that was on the corner. She placed
my hand on the mailbox and said, now every day
I want you to put your hand on this mailbox and
wait for Barb Hoganston to pick you up and walk
you to school. Do you understand? I said yes
and so on the first day of kindergarten, my mother
placed my hand on the mailbox and then she went
off to work. I waited patiently for a few minutes,
and then I started to get a bit anxious. Then
suddenly, a first grade boy who lived in the
house on the corner came running out to me and
said, get your hands off my mailbox. I looked
at him and said, this isn't your mailbox. It's
the United States government's mailbox. Get your
hand off my mailbox, he said, and he pushed my
hand off of it. I was scared, but I didn't want
to disrespect my mother, so I reached back. and
put my hand back on the mailbox. As soon as I
did, the boy knocked it off again. Scared, I
tried to explain to the boy that I had to keep
my hand on the mailbox, and I reached back to
touch it when this time he grabbed me and pulled
me to the ground. We rolled around on the grass
for a while until I managed to get on top of
him. He kept swinging his hands at me and wiggling
to try and get me off of him. I remember putting
my knees on the inside of his elbows to try and
stop him from hitting me. But he kept swinging
his hands anyway. I remember leaning my face
into his, trying to tell him that I was sorry,
but I had to put my hand back on the mailbox
because my mother told me to. But when I leaned
in, one of his pinned hands sort of slapped me
in the face. Something inside of me went off,
and I pulled back my hand, made a fist, and punched
the boy in the face. I remember he had glasses,
and I remember that when I hit him, They fell
off his face. I also remember him bleeding. Before
I got up off of him, I said, now I'm going to
get off of you and put my hand back on that mailbox,
and there's nothing you can do about it. OK?
But the boy didn't say anything. He was crying.
But as soon as I got off of him, he ran into
his house. So I stood there with one hand on
the mailbox, shaking. I thought maybe he would
come back with his mother or maybe an older brother.
I mean, I didn't know if he had an older brother,
but I stood there shaking and waiting. I remembered
the words my mother and father had told me many
times. Jay, you're a big boy. You have to be
careful not to hurt anybody. Finally, after a
couple of minutes, Barb Hogan -son came by and
we walked to school. I never told her or my parents
what happened. But every day, for the rest of
the year, I put one hand on the mailbox and had
my other fist clenched. I waited each day for
that boy to come out of the house, but he never
did. That fight, the first in my life, has impacted
me for almost 60 years. I can't say it was the
only fight I've ever been in, but... I'm 63 years
old now, and I've spent my life trying to be
nonviolent. In part because I can remember that
boy's face. And I know I have it in me to hurt
people. I'm reminded of the words of John Lennon
of The Beatles who once said, I sing of peace
because I know that in my heart I'm a violent
person. Well, that's my childhood story and the
impact it had on me. I feel better for telling
it. I hope it was worth your time to listen to
it. If you enjoyed this first episode of Tell
Me What Happened, I hope you'll subscribe to
this podcast and tell your friends. And if you'd
like to come on to tell me what happened and
tell us your painful childhood memory, email
me at j -a -y -c -r -e -h -a -k at gmail .com
and I'll be sure to get back to you. As promised,
I'm going to end this show and every show with
Susan Salador's fabulous song, Boo Boo Blues.
Until next time, this is Jay Reac asking you
to be safe out there and try not to hurt anyone.
Let mama fix it for you.