WEBVTT

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Hi and welcome to Tell Me What Happened, the

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podcast that features true childhood stories

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from people from all walks of life. Each week,

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our guests will tell us a childhood memory and

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then tell us how it impacted their adult view

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of the world. I'm your host, Jay Rehak, and like

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you, I've had my share of painful childhood experiences.

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But I'd like to believe they've helped me to

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become a more empathetic person. Tell Me What

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Happened is sponsored by Sideline Inc. Publishers.

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Publishers of quality books, including Susan

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Salador's latest children's book, I've Got Peace

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in My Fingers, available worldwide on November

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1, 2019. Speaking of Susan Salador, each week

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we begin the show with a portion of her classic

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song, The Boo Boo Blues, which you can hear playing

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underneath my voice right now. Today, I'm honored

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to have as my guest, Alina Celeste, an award

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-winning children's singer. and renowned YouTuber.

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Are you ready to tell your story, Elena? I think

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so. All right, well, here's the thing. What I

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try to do is keep my mouth shut and listen to

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your story. And then afterwards, I'm probably

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going to ask you one question. That one question

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is going to be, how has it impacted the way you

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view the world now as an adult? OK, so I had

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to think about this. And I decided that my story

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would be about the day I realized my mom was

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a person. Because I think a lot of kids, you

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know, you go through a period where you suddenly

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realize that your parents are just people like

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any other person But I am lucky enough to have

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an actual day when that happened So, uh, yes,

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so I was about I was 15 when this happened so

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a little a little backstory my mom and I Definitely

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went through a rough patch from like 12 To like

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15 or so now 30 years later. I have a few theories

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as to why that is I think Mostly we are just

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extremely different human beings and I was not

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what she ever thought a daughter would be I don't

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mean that in a like, you know, I'm not the daughter

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that you wanted but you know, it's I wasn't You

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know, I just it was more that she had never encountered

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a me in a way. So we just had very different

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interests and goals. We shared a love of reading.

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But other than that, you know, I had no interest

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in cooking. I had no interest in gardening. I

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had no interest in crafting. I had no interest

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in clothes. I had no interest in fashion. I had

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no interest in... And I was an introvert. And

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she was an extrovert who loved to sew and, you

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know, garden and hang out with her friends and

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make pretty things. And I just basically rejected

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all of that. as ways to spend someone's time.

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So I think, you know, we were just at odds a

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lot in middle school and such. And then the summer

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that I was 15, something changed. Now, I was

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personally 11 to 15, I think is probably one

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of the hardest periods in any girl's life anyways.

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Middle school is the worst. And I was always

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an introvert. I always had like one friend, you

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know, so that it kind of narrows your world a

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little bit. And so the summer that I was 15,

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I was a self -centered jerk teenager. So I didn't

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really, I couldn't pull my finger on it, but

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there was something wrong with my mom. And she

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lost 30 pounds in three months. And I never saw

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her crying per se, but it sort of felt like she

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was crying all the time, if that makes sense.

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Like I have no memory of her actually crying.

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But I do remember a lot of her sort of being

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in the other room in a way that was odd. But

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you know, I was self -centered and kind of a

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jerk, so, and reading my books alone in my room,

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so I wasn't really paying attention. And cut

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to this one night, a neighbor, our next door

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neighbor, this is a whole other thing, but our

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next door neighbor died suddenly in a plane explosion.

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Not a plane crash. It was a plane explosion.

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It was it was actually a terrorist act. It happened

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over Panama and It was it was not on the news

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in part for national security But we knew because

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he was our next -door neighbor and my mom went

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to his funeral and they were nice people We knew

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them and I remember she came home from the funeral

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and she was sobbing like just absolutely sobbing

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like just demoralized. And I remember thinking

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like, I mean, he was a nice man, but I feel like

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they weren't that close. You know, this wasn't

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like a major loss in that sense. Obviously any

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loss of life is awful, but she was just a wreck.

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And I remember she went to her room and I was

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just kind of like, well, what's wrong with mom?

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I don't know. And she asked me to come talk to

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her in her bedroom. And, you know, I felt bad

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for her, you know, I might have been a jerky

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teenager, but I still had some empathy, you know,

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and she was really just a disaster. And she was

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laying on her bed and the room was dark and she

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asked me to come talk to her. And so I laid on

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the bed with her, just kind of, you know, in

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my own like awkward teenage way, thinking presence

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counts as sympathy. And so I was just there next

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to her and she was crying and she said, you know,

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I have to tell you something. And I just, I couldn't.

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you know, I was about Vincent, you know, our

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neighbor. And she was like, no. When I was 18

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years old, and she took this deep breath pause,

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and I'll never forget this, in my head, I thought

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you had a kid. She goes, I had a baby. And you

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know, and I was like, how did I know that? You

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know? And I was like, okay. And she said, I had

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a son. And you know, I gave him up for adoption.

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And he found me three months ago. I just listened,

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you know, and she was like, and so that's what's

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been going on. And, you know, I just, I have

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to tell you because, you know, we're gonna meet

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and I think that you should know. And I remember,

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you know, she's like, what do you think? And

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I just said, that's cool, I guess. You know,

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I've always wanted a big brother, because I was

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the oldest. I had two younger brothers and I

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was like, I thought it'd be cool to have an older

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brother. And she was so shocked at my reaction.

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And I was like, what? And she said, well, I just

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thought that you would think less of me, thought

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that you would be disappointed in me or think

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that I was, you know, bad or whatever. And I

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remember just being like, why? You know, partly

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because it was just such a different culture

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that I grew up in. My mom grew up in this incredibly,

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you know, in the early 60s and it was a very

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Catholic family. She was one of eight. She had

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no idea how babies were made. She spent a lot

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of her early teenage years wanting to be a nun.

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And she had her senior year of high school. My

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mom was a very shy teenager, which you'd never

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think she's such an extrovert, but she was a

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very shy, quiet kid. She had learning disabilities

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that went undiagnosed and was just beat up by

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teachers. And they moved her senior year in high

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school to another town. So she was... already

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like a shy kid with just a couple friends who

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really needed socializing in a way that I had

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never needed, you know? I was like, that sounds

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awesome! Just you and a bunch of books, you know?

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And so they moved to Gainesville and she met

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this boy and they were dating and he told her

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that you can't possibly get pregnant on the first

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time. It doesn't work that way. And she got pregnant.

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And she realized that a few months in, she hid

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it from her parents for about four months. She

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made it about four months until her sister, who

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was the wild one, was like, you're pregnant,

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aren't you? And her parents found out and they

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sent her away through a Catholic charity. She

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had to live with a family and clean their house

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in exchange for room and board until she had

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the baby. And she told me all of this that night.

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And she said, because I asked, you know, what

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happened, and she said that they had drugged

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her, because at the time, so she had my brother

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in 1968, so they were still doing that thing

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where they knock you out. So they had drugged

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her, but my family has notoriously weird reactions

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to drugs, and the anesthesia didn't work, and

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she woke up mid -labor, which is why she remembers

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the labor at all. And they took the baby away,

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and I asked her if she'd seen him, and she said

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no, they told me to forget that it had happened.

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and they said it would be better if I didn't

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see the baby. So they they took the baby away

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and she went home and everybody pretended that

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didn't happen and she didn't tell her brothers

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or sisters. A few of them figured it out when

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they were older. You know remember that time

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you went away for six months kind of thing and

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um and 20 I want to say 25 years went by and

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she she told my dad she told me because you know

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I was like does dad know And she told him when

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they first started dating and he said, I don't

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care. So she was kind of like, okay. But then

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that was it. They basically never spoke of it

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again. So 25 years goes by and my brother, the

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brother that I discovered then, Don is his name.

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Should I say his name? My brother found her.

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He'd had a heart issue, which was fixed, but

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the doctor had asked him about his... medical

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history and he was like, you know, I'm adopted.

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So he began this journey at 22 to find her and

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it took three years, but he did find her at 25.

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She got a call from a Catholic charity that said,

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you know, we help children who are adopted find

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their birth parents and we have your son. Would

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you like to meet him? And she said, okay. And

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so that whole summer she was talking to him all

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the time and she was, I think, Looking back,

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it was probably part of the reason we had such

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a hard time because, you know, I was a self -centered,

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self -pitying teenager, and here she was essentially

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finally processing all those feelings she had

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as an 18 -year -old who was alone and pregnant

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and, you know, had to give up this baby. So I

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think she was kind of a teenager too, you know,

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processing her feelings that whole summer and

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losing weight and not talking. And she was so

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scared that... we, my brothers and I, but that

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I would think that she was some kind of like

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dirty slut. So she was so, and I remember in

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that moment, you know, when she said, I thought

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that you would think, you know, that I was dirty

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or like not worthy of you or whatever. I remember

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thinking like, oh, my mom's just a person, you

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know, just like anybody else. And she has this

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nickname in her family, St. Cecilia. Because

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she's a she's like she would give you the clothes

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off her You know, just the clothes off her back

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is like such a trope, but it's such a stereotype.

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But yes Oh my god, she she'll drop anything for

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anyone always so she was so good and here I was

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this like kind of ornery Cranky kid, you know

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who like didn't want to play with the other kids

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a lot And so here was my mom who everybody loved

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she was so nice and she was so pretty and she

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did all these things So well, and so it was like

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oh she makes mistakes she made a mistake. And

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I didn't like judge her. I didn't think she was

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like bad for that. But I was just like, that's

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so cool. You know, she makes mistakes. And she's

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just a person with this whole history that had

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just never occurred to me, you know, that she

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had a life before she was my mother, you know,

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full of ridiculousness and mistakes. And it's

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not that she hadn't told me stories about her

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life before then, but somehow they were sort

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of like fairy tale stories. You know, like my

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dad is Cuban. He used to tell us these stories

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about him as a child in Cuba and it was it's

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literally like fairyland You know, and so all

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of a sudden he was this real -world thing with

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consequences she was gonna go meet him which

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is why she finally felt like she had to tell

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us and It was happening. It was a real thing

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with proof, you know, it was like proof So that

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was a day. I realized that my mom was a person

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and after that for many years. We became extremely

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close somehow knowing that Helped us bridge our

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other differences in personality. Yeah, and so

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from then on Yeah, I had a lot less issues with

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my mom and and what's it called at the end of

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the book the Starts with an e Epitaph epitaph

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epitaph the epitaph is we met my brother Don.

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It's now been 25 years since I met him and We're

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all close to him. When I first met him, I was

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15 and he was 25. So he felt like a cool uncle,

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you know, but now I'm 40 and he's 50. And he

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really does feel like a brother. Like, it's kind

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of weird that I don't have any childhood memories

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of him, you know? But yeah, he's just, he's my

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brother Don. And my dad accepted him and loved

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him. And we're all, my mom and my brother, super

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close. We joke all the time, the three of us.

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Are a lot more like my dad and his side of the

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family and my brother Don who was not raised

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by my mother is so much like my mom They're just

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really alike. They have all these weird little

00:13:28.620 --> 00:13:32.799
quirks that they share And their personalities,

00:13:33.299 --> 00:13:35.580
you know, Don is just as generous as my mom with

00:13:35.580 --> 00:13:38.840
his time and with his love So but yeah, we all

00:13:38.840 --> 00:13:40.720
get along but that was the day that was a day.

00:13:40.720 --> 00:13:43.899
I found out that my mom was a person It was a

00:13:43.899 --> 00:13:47.000
beautiful story I mean, I really didn't know

00:13:47.000 --> 00:13:50.220
where it was gonna go. And I was trying to stay

00:13:50.220 --> 00:13:53.019
out of it reaction -wise because my audience

00:13:53.019 --> 00:13:55.019
knows that I don't want to be part of the story,

00:13:55.019 --> 00:13:58.299
I just want to listen. But I do have to ask you

00:13:58.299 --> 00:14:00.879
now, how do you think it's impacted your life

00:14:00.879 --> 00:14:04.740
as an adult? I would say that that was one of

00:14:04.740 --> 00:14:10.340
my most profound lessons in terms of other human

00:14:10.340 --> 00:14:12.740
beings and how everybody has a history and a

00:14:12.740 --> 00:14:16.250
story that you don't know about. You know we

00:14:16.250 --> 00:14:18.649
all carry with us this massive story, and it's

00:14:18.649 --> 00:14:20.809
something that I'm always aware of when I meet

00:14:20.809 --> 00:14:22.730
other people I think it's helped me to be more

00:14:22.730 --> 00:14:25.909
kind Because usually when people have like weird

00:14:25.909 --> 00:14:28.269
negative reactions. I almost never take it personally

00:14:28.269 --> 00:14:31.590
Because I don't know what's going on with them

00:14:31.590 --> 00:14:34.210
You know and my reaction is often to be like

00:14:34.210 --> 00:14:37.190
oh that poor person is probably unhappy instead

00:14:37.190 --> 00:14:40.509
of what a jerk you know or I mean let's be fair

00:14:40.509 --> 00:14:42.610
sometimes I say what a jerk, but For the most

00:14:42.610 --> 00:14:45.110
part, it's made me very interested in the stories

00:14:45.110 --> 00:14:47.490
of others and very aware that we all carry with

00:14:47.490 --> 00:14:51.190
us all kinds of stories and baggage and history

00:14:51.190 --> 00:14:56.649
and assumptions that guide us, that are invisible.

00:14:56.830 --> 00:14:59.669
I think that has profoundly affected my life.

00:15:01.230 --> 00:15:03.190
I believe it has. I know you to be a very kind

00:15:03.190 --> 00:15:05.909
person. I want to thank you for sharing your

00:15:05.909 --> 00:15:08.250
story with us. It was a beautiful story. Thank

00:15:08.250 --> 00:15:12.600
you. I will carry with me St. Cecilia. With me

00:15:12.600 --> 00:15:15.940
that for a while Well, that's it for this week's

00:15:15.940 --> 00:15:17.840
tell me what happened. I hope you enjoyed the

00:15:17.840 --> 00:15:21.360
story. I certainly did I'm gonna end this week's

00:15:21.360 --> 00:15:23.460
show a little bit differently. I'm gonna end

00:15:23.460 --> 00:15:26.919
it with an Alina Celeste song entitled Stardust

00:15:26.919 --> 00:15:32.059
Thanks again for listening and as always Stay

00:15:32.059 --> 00:15:40.730
safe out there and try not to hurt anybody We're

00:15:40.730 --> 00:15:45.889
all just a little piece of stardust We're all

00:15:45.889 --> 00:15:52.250
just a little piece of sky And if we ever should

00:15:52.250 --> 00:15:57.190
be parted I'll look up and see a piece of you

00:15:57.190 --> 00:16:04.649
and I If you should ever feel lonely If you should

00:16:04.649 --> 00:16:11.570
feel you're not alright Just look into the quiet

00:16:11.570 --> 00:16:16.570
night sky The stars will shine till things are

00:16:16.570 --> 00:16:21.710
bright Cause we're all just a little piece of

00:16:21.710 --> 00:16:26.889
stardust We're all just a little piece of the

00:16:26.889 --> 00:16:33.769
sky And if we ever should be parted I'll look

00:16:33.769 --> 00:16:40.460
up to see a piece of you and I Long, long ago,

00:16:40.799 --> 00:16:45.980
the sky came alive The light was an ocean, the

00:16:45.980 --> 00:16:52.659
ocean was life And all the universe was bright

00:16:52.659 --> 00:16:58.720
Night made day and day made night Oh, the world

00:16:58.720 --> 00:17:04.599
will always go on turning And life will often

00:17:04.599 --> 00:17:13.380
be a fight will also go on burning wherever there

00:17:13.380 --> 00:17:42.220
is dark there will be a light If you should feel

00:17:42.220 --> 00:17:49.039
you're not alright Just look into the quiet night

00:17:49.039 --> 00:17:54.900
sky The stars will shine till things are bright

00:17:54.900 --> 00:18:01.299
We're all just a little piece of stardust We're

00:18:01.299 --> 00:18:07.619
all just a little piece of sky And if we ever

00:18:07.619 --> 00:18:14.359
should be parted To see a piece of you and I

00:18:14.359 --> 00:18:18.740
Just look up to see a piece of you and I