WEBVTT 00:00:00.170 --> 00:00:04.030 Hi, and welcome back to Tell Me What Happened, 00:00:04.410 --> 00:00:07.049 the podcast that features true childhood stories 00:00:07.049 --> 00:00:10.369 from people from all walks of life. Each week 00:00:10.369 --> 00:00:13.630 our guest tells us a childhood memory, and then 00:00:13.630 --> 00:00:16.010 they tell us how it's impacted their adult view 00:00:16.010 --> 00:00:19.969 of the world. I'm your host, Jay Rehak, and like 00:00:19.969 --> 00:00:23.589 you, I've had my share of painful childhood experiences. 00:00:24.350 --> 00:00:27.089 But I'd like to believe they've all helped me 00:00:27.089 --> 00:00:29.620 to become a more empathetic person. Tell Me What 00:00:29.620 --> 00:00:32.420 Happened is sponsored by Sideline Ink Publishing, 00:00:32.820 --> 00:00:35.039 publishers of quality books, including Susan 00:00:35.039 --> 00:00:38.219 Salador's newest children's book, I've Got Peace 00:00:38.219 --> 00:00:41.320 in My Fingers, available worldwide on November 00:00:41.320 --> 00:00:45.659 1st, 2019. And speaking of Susan Salador, each 00:00:45.659 --> 00:00:47.539 week we begin the show with a portion of her 00:00:47.539 --> 00:00:50.539 classic song, The Boo Boo Blues, which you can 00:00:50.539 --> 00:00:54.659 hear playing underneath my voice right now. Today... 00:00:54.719 --> 00:00:58.000 I'm fortunate to have as my guest, Hamlet, an 00:00:58.000 --> 00:01:00.899 award -winning children's singer, an artist, 00:01:01.619 --> 00:01:05.959 a father, and a friend. So you ready? Tell your 00:01:05.959 --> 00:01:09.120 story, Hamlet. Let's do it. All right. All right. 00:01:09.560 --> 00:01:12.319 Well, and speaking of early childhood memories, 00:01:12.680 --> 00:01:15.299 the one that I can definitely share is the fact 00:01:15.299 --> 00:01:18.859 that when I was born, my parents divorced pretty 00:01:18.859 --> 00:01:21.620 much soon after that happened. So I ended up 00:01:21.620 --> 00:01:25.519 being raised by my grandmother. and her son and 00:01:25.519 --> 00:01:27.959 and one of her daughters so both my uncle and 00:01:27.959 --> 00:01:30.400 aunt but one of the things that that happened 00:01:30.400 --> 00:01:32.439 during that time was that you know as i started 00:01:32.439 --> 00:01:34.900 growing up by the time that i was seven years 00:01:34.900 --> 00:01:38.560 of age i i pretty much realized that most of 00:01:38.560 --> 00:01:41.219 the friends that i had in school they all had 00:01:41.219 --> 00:01:44.299 parents which is a concept that for me had not 00:01:44.299 --> 00:01:47.319 clicked and i started to understand that wait 00:01:47.319 --> 00:01:48.819 a second you know like kids were always saying 00:01:48.819 --> 00:01:50.819 you know i have my mom got me this my dad got 00:01:50.819 --> 00:01:54.659 this And that's something that I could not relate 00:01:54.659 --> 00:01:57.540 to. And I always had a hard time. I always wanted 00:01:57.540 --> 00:02:00.019 to have a brother or sisters as well. And that's 00:02:00.019 --> 00:02:02.739 something that I also lacked in my life. That 00:02:02.739 --> 00:02:06.299 was something that I struggled with. Now, as 00:02:06.299 --> 00:02:09.439 years went by, we used to have a lot of family 00:02:09.439 --> 00:02:13.419 gatherings, which happened pretty often, actually. 00:02:13.900 --> 00:02:16.680 And for the most part, cousins and friends of 00:02:16.680 --> 00:02:18.360 the family would always come. There was always 00:02:18.360 --> 00:02:20.699 music in the house, and one way or the other. 00:02:21.300 --> 00:02:25.699 Even though I did grow up feeling very left out, 00:02:25.939 --> 00:02:28.120 like I did not belong at all, you know, this 00:02:28.120 --> 00:02:30.080 is my family, even though it was my grandmother 00:02:30.080 --> 00:02:33.659 and everything, I still felt the disconnection 00:02:33.659 --> 00:02:36.460 between just, I mean, just because I didn't have 00:02:36.460 --> 00:02:38.560 parents, you know, I couldn't call anybody mom 00:02:38.560 --> 00:02:42.819 or dad or, and I could see even my cousins having 00:02:42.819 --> 00:02:44.840 their, their, their mom and dad there, you know. 00:02:45.419 --> 00:02:48.909 So. The thing that made an impact on me were 00:02:48.909 --> 00:02:51.889 two people, actually. One of them was a friend 00:02:51.889 --> 00:02:54.830 of my uncle's that used to come to the house, 00:02:54.870 --> 00:02:56.830 you know, every one of them, maybe once or twice 00:02:56.830 --> 00:03:00.210 a month. And what they used to do is just simply 00:03:00.210 --> 00:03:04.509 play their guitars and jam in the house. You 00:03:04.509 --> 00:03:09.449 know, that was a cool thing. And he was the only 00:03:09.449 --> 00:03:12.770 person that would pay attention to me. or at 00:03:12.770 --> 00:03:16.129 least acknowledge that I was present or would 00:03:16.129 --> 00:03:18.969 invite me to come over and if I had questions, 00:03:19.030 --> 00:03:20.569 he would tell me, you know, like, okay, this 00:03:20.569 --> 00:03:23.050 is how you do it. He tried to start teaching 00:03:23.050 --> 00:03:26.009 a song at one point and I remember just get into 00:03:26.009 --> 00:03:29.590 it. But I was, as a kid, I was patient. I'm still 00:03:29.590 --> 00:03:32.229 pretty impatient, I think. So I wanted to play 00:03:32.229 --> 00:03:33.909 guitar immediately and that's something that 00:03:33.909 --> 00:03:36.569 was very hard. So I kind of gave up on it for 00:03:36.569 --> 00:03:39.740 many, many, many years. and I did not touch the 00:03:39.740 --> 00:03:42.740 guitar, or I did not properly learn to play guitar 00:03:42.740 --> 00:03:45.860 until I was 37 years of age. And now, you know, 00:03:45.860 --> 00:03:48.460 I have an album and a couple of albums that I'm 00:03:48.460 --> 00:03:51.439 working on, so yeah, there's hope still for anybody. 00:03:51.639 --> 00:03:55.599 But you know, like, being a kid and feeling completely 00:03:55.599 --> 00:03:58.819 that I did not belong anywhere, having that type 00:03:58.819 --> 00:04:02.000 of acknowledgement from a complete stranger in 00:04:02.000 --> 00:04:05.819 that regard is something that shaped my view 00:04:05.819 --> 00:04:11.349 of of life, you know? And there was another instance 00:04:11.349 --> 00:04:14.710 when I was about 11 years of age and we had a 00:04:14.710 --> 00:04:18.040 big family gathering. and we were out in the 00:04:18.040 --> 00:04:21.319 house in the yard tons of my cousins and friends 00:04:21.319 --> 00:04:24.660 were playing and all the adults were inside the 00:04:24.660 --> 00:04:27.579 house and you know doing adult stuff and one 00:04:27.579 --> 00:04:31.279 of my my uncles came out and he just wanted to 00:04:31.279 --> 00:04:33.459 spend time with us and he just started playing 00:04:33.459 --> 00:04:36.600 around with everybody and everybody loved this 00:04:36.600 --> 00:04:40.180 uncle for that reason and i remember very clearly 00:04:40.180 --> 00:04:42.019 thinking and looking at him and saying you know 00:04:42.019 --> 00:04:45.449 what one day i would love to be just like him. 00:04:45.589 --> 00:04:49.769 So I had that uncle who just decided to come 00:04:49.769 --> 00:04:52.370 out and play with everybody. And I remember just 00:04:52.370 --> 00:04:55.009 taking a step back and thinking, you know what? 00:04:55.389 --> 00:04:58.290 When I grow up, I want to be like this uncle. 00:04:58.350 --> 00:05:01.009 I want to be the one that pays attention to everybody. 00:05:01.649 --> 00:05:04.370 So between those two experiences, something that 00:05:04.370 --> 00:05:08.589 for me later on, I ended up understanding that 00:05:08.589 --> 00:05:11.129 it was more traumatic. I couldn't see it. that 00:05:11.129 --> 00:05:14.269 way when I was a kid because you know it's just 00:05:14.269 --> 00:05:18.129 it's just life but that's just how life happens 00:05:18.129 --> 00:05:21.730 to be you know and in a sense you know I was 00:05:21.730 --> 00:05:24.829 being protected by my grandmother and by the 00:05:24.829 --> 00:05:28.250 adults in my life in their way by not sharing 00:05:28.250 --> 00:05:32.250 or making me feel like I was not part of their 00:05:32.250 --> 00:05:34.470 family you know even though that's how I felt 00:05:34.470 --> 00:05:36.589 they always did everything they could just to 00:05:36.589 --> 00:05:39.550 make sure that I was taken care of that I had 00:05:39.660 --> 00:05:41.759 everything that I needed. Internally that was 00:05:41.759 --> 00:05:44.360 the struggle that I grew up with though. It just 00:05:44.360 --> 00:05:47.220 reflected in just too many aspects in society 00:05:47.220 --> 00:05:49.740 you know because when I went to school I didn't 00:05:49.740 --> 00:05:51.899 feel like I belonged completely in a particular 00:05:51.899 --> 00:05:55.540 group or even when I went to during a time in 00:05:55.540 --> 00:05:58.899 my life that I went to church I also felt like 00:05:58.899 --> 00:06:01.699 that I did not belong to specific groups you 00:06:01.699 --> 00:06:06.079 know. I always felt isolated even though I participated 00:06:06.079 --> 00:06:09.420 in just about everything. but that was probably 00:06:09.420 --> 00:06:12.000 has a lot to do with my personality since I'm 00:06:12.000 --> 00:06:16.360 a very I'm a go -getter type of person and I 00:06:16.360 --> 00:06:19.420 like making friends but you know like growing 00:06:19.420 --> 00:06:22.879 up as a kid I always made friends with old with 00:06:22.879 --> 00:06:26.639 adults not so much with kids my age so I that's 00:06:26.639 --> 00:06:29.100 why I always felt that disassociation growing 00:06:29.100 --> 00:06:32.000 up even as a teenager I felt like I did not belong 00:06:32.000 --> 00:06:34.279 in the teenage group so to speak because I could 00:06:34.279 --> 00:06:36.839 talk to the adults better than I could and relate 00:06:36.839 --> 00:06:41.319 to them. But when I was a teenager, about 14, 00:06:41.699 --> 00:06:43.680 there was a variety of things that happened in 00:06:43.680 --> 00:06:46.040 my life. When I stopped living with my grandmother, 00:06:46.120 --> 00:06:49.459 I ended up moving in to live with my mother and 00:06:49.459 --> 00:06:52.420 her husband and their two daughters. So, you 00:06:52.420 --> 00:06:55.579 know, my half -siblings. And so talking about 00:06:55.579 --> 00:06:58.319 not feeling part of things or continuing not 00:06:58.319 --> 00:07:01.279 to feel a part of something, right? And they're 00:07:01.279 --> 00:07:03.740 unfortunately... the relationship there was not 00:07:03.740 --> 00:07:06.120 positive. And I ended up being kicked out of 00:07:06.120 --> 00:07:08.420 my house at the age of 14. So I ended up living 00:07:08.420 --> 00:07:12.019 in the streets for about three years. So I was 00:07:12.019 --> 00:07:15.199 a homeless team for three years. And just trying 00:07:15.199 --> 00:07:19.620 to find not only my identity, trying to fit into 00:07:19.620 --> 00:07:23.379 groups, it was a way of survival. Trying to fit 00:07:23.379 --> 00:07:26.220 into something was a way of survival for me. 00:07:26.699 --> 00:07:31.420 But even through all that time, the memory of 00:07:31.500 --> 00:07:36.279 that uncle and that friend of the family always 00:07:36.279 --> 00:07:39.100 stayed in me, you know, because I knew that at 00:07:39.100 --> 00:07:43.240 least in one way or the other, at least internally, 00:07:43.459 --> 00:07:46.660 I knew that somebody else at one point did care 00:07:46.660 --> 00:07:49.000 enough. I mean, my family did care. It's not 00:07:49.000 --> 00:07:54.040 that they never did. But when my stepfather kicked 00:07:54.040 --> 00:07:57.360 me out of the house, you know, it was a transition 00:07:57.360 --> 00:08:03.490 of trying to find a place where I could be a 00:08:03.490 --> 00:08:07.230 part of. You know, it's now I'm 50 years of age. 00:08:07.470 --> 00:08:11.610 I'll be 51 coming up in a few weeks, in November. 00:08:13.269 --> 00:08:17.470 And it's taken me a very long time to understand 00:08:17.470 --> 00:08:22.110 that it's okay if you don't feel, if negative 00:08:22.110 --> 00:08:25.269 experiences such as this one are some things 00:08:25.269 --> 00:08:27.490 that you have to carry. through with you the 00:08:27.490 --> 00:08:30.350 rest of your life, because they are in the end 00:08:30.350 --> 00:08:33.149 a part of you. You know, so you cannot put them 00:08:33.149 --> 00:08:36.809 aside, you cannot hide them, you can try, but 00:08:36.809 --> 00:08:39.370 that doesn't mean that they will go away. You 00:08:39.370 --> 00:08:42.610 know, so I've learned to not only cope with it, 00:08:42.610 --> 00:08:44.669 but try to make the best of it. And one of the 00:08:44.669 --> 00:08:47.250 things that helped me by just having the memory 00:08:47.250 --> 00:08:51.730 of these two people in my life was me doing the 00:08:51.730 --> 00:08:54.330 same thing for others. You know, I work with 00:08:54.330 --> 00:08:59.289 kids now. And even though I've worked with all 00:08:59.289 --> 00:09:04.370 ages from zero to teenagers and adults, right 00:09:04.370 --> 00:09:08.220 now I focus mostly with that. working with six 00:09:08.220 --> 00:09:12.259 -week -old babies to six -year -olds. But every 00:09:12.259 --> 00:09:15.139 time that I teach one of my classes, that I spend 00:09:15.139 --> 00:09:18.340 time with them, the one thing that I do, and 00:09:18.340 --> 00:09:20.139 from the moment that I started working with kids 00:09:20.139 --> 00:09:23.139 and teaching, I did not see, number one, my work 00:09:23.139 --> 00:09:27.120 as a teacher. I saw myself more as a person who 00:09:27.120 --> 00:09:29.360 was sharing life experiences, who was sharing 00:09:29.360 --> 00:09:33.419 knowledge to them. And I felt that students, 00:09:33.419 --> 00:09:35.600 for me, I try to see them more like, oh, you 00:09:35.600 --> 00:09:37.159 know what, they're my nephews, kind of a thing. 00:09:37.240 --> 00:09:39.440 They're more like family, because my approach 00:09:39.440 --> 00:09:42.299 to them was completely different, more than just 00:09:42.299 --> 00:09:44.440 me saying, you know what, you have to have homework 00:09:44.440 --> 00:09:45.940 done, or these are the things that you have to 00:09:45.940 --> 00:09:48.899 do. I mean, I still do, and I still have expectations 00:09:48.899 --> 00:09:51.840 for what I want them to learn, even at an early 00:09:51.840 --> 00:09:54.820 age. But most importantly for me is making sure 00:09:54.820 --> 00:09:58.159 that they feel the same way that I've felt when 00:09:58.159 --> 00:10:01.330 this with my uncle and this friend of the house 00:10:01.330 --> 00:10:05.429 always made me feel, which was acknowledged that 00:10:05.429 --> 00:10:11.470 I mattered. So for me, I think I'm just happy 00:10:11.470 --> 00:10:16.750 to know that something that was negative or that 00:10:16.750 --> 00:10:20.389 I felt was a negative situation in my life, I 00:10:20.389 --> 00:10:24.490 was able just to turn it around, but I could 00:10:24.490 --> 00:10:26.769 not have turned it around unless I was willing 00:10:26.769 --> 00:10:32.289 to be those two people to others nowadays, you 00:10:32.289 --> 00:10:36.649 know. So in terms of experiences that have definitely 00:10:36.649 --> 00:10:41.090 changed me, I would say by all means these two 00:10:41.090 --> 00:10:45.450 people, great humans for that matter. Well, thank 00:10:45.450 --> 00:10:49.309 you Hamlet for that deeply personal story. You 00:10:49.309 --> 00:10:51.769 for sure already answered my question about how 00:10:51.769 --> 00:10:54.590 it's impacted your life. But I thought I'd give 00:10:54.590 --> 00:10:57.840 you an opportunity to just add up any other thoughts 00:10:57.840 --> 00:11:00.320 that you might have relative to your childhood 00:11:00.320 --> 00:11:02.919 experiences, which sound pretty painful to me, 00:11:03.379 --> 00:11:05.639 actually. It's just kindness can be reflected 00:11:05.639 --> 00:11:07.860 in so many different ways. You know, you can 00:11:07.860 --> 00:11:11.080 be kind by just respecting somebody else, respecting 00:11:11.080 --> 00:11:13.360 their beliefs, respecting who they are, respecting 00:11:13.360 --> 00:11:16.519 how they dress, respecting whatever it is, and 00:11:16.519 --> 00:11:19.919 just being kind to them from that perspective, 00:11:20.120 --> 00:11:22.139 you know, acknowledging that, you know what, 00:11:22.159 --> 00:11:24.980 we all have our points of view and it's okay, 00:11:25.120 --> 00:11:27.759 you know. And I think that's the message that 00:11:27.759 --> 00:11:30.720 they transmitted to me, and like even now that 00:11:30.720 --> 00:11:33.360 I'm just thinking about it, because I don't usually 00:11:33.360 --> 00:11:40.879 go back to my childhood in that regard, but the 00:11:40.879 --> 00:11:44.299 positive things that they were able just to do 00:11:44.299 --> 00:11:47.320 without saying anything was, yeah, by all means, 00:11:48.039 --> 00:11:54.629 they were kind, yeah. Thank You Hamlet for sharing 00:11:54.629 --> 00:11:56.850 your story and thank you listeners for hanging 00:11:56.850 --> 00:12:00.470 in and listening to another Tell me what happened 00:12:00.470 --> 00:12:04.370 We're gonna end this show the song written by 00:12:04.370 --> 00:12:07.629 Hamlet performed by Hamlet. It's called love 00:12:07.629 --> 00:12:11.789 Until next time stay safe out there and try not 00:12:11.789 --> 00:12:20.950 to hurt anybody Love is sincere love is true 00:12:20.950 --> 00:12:28.820 love was made for me and you el amor es sincero 00:12:28.820 --> 00:12:35.360 y verdadero el amor fue hecho para ti, para mi 00:12:35.360 --> 00:12:54.259 love is tender love is free love is all you give 00:12:54.259 --> 00:13:32.299 to me Love is thankful, love is real Love is 00:13:32.299 --> 00:13:39.440 what we all need to feel Agradecido, el amor 00:13:39.440 --> 00:13:58.440 es real Es lo que debemos dar Love is wonderful, 00:13:59.100 --> 00:14:06.419 love is you Love is the world I have for you 00:14:06.419 --> 00:14:13.879 Maravilloso es tu amor Un mundo de amor que a 00:14:13.879 --> 00:14:41.889 ti te doy Love is sincere. Love is true. Love 00:14:41.889 --> 00:14:45.870 was meant for me and you.