Hi, and welcome back to Tell Me What Happened,
the podcast that features true childhood stories
from people from all walks of life. Each week
our guest tells us a childhood memory, and then
they tell us how it's impacted their adult view
of the world. I'm your host, Jay Rehak, and like
you, I've had my share of painful childhood experiences.
But I'd like to believe they've all helped me
to become a more empathetic person. Tell Me What
Happened is sponsored by Sideline Ink Publishing,
publishers of quality books, including Susan
Salador's newest children's book, I've Got Peace
in My Fingers, available worldwide on November
1st, 2019. And speaking of Susan Salador, each
week we begin the show with a portion of her
classic song, The Boo Boo Blues, which you can
hear playing underneath my voice right now. Today...
I'm fortunate to have as my guest, Hamlet, an
award -winning children's singer, an artist,
a father, and a friend. So you ready? Tell your
story, Hamlet. Let's do it. All right. All right.
Well, and speaking of early childhood memories,
the one that I can definitely share is the fact
that when I was born, my parents divorced pretty
much soon after that happened. So I ended up
being raised by my grandmother. and her son and
and one of her daughters so both my uncle and
aunt but one of the things that that happened
during that time was that you know as i started
growing up by the time that i was seven years
of age i i pretty much realized that most of
the friends that i had in school they all had
parents which is a concept that for me had not
clicked and i started to understand that wait
a second you know like kids were always saying
you know i have my mom got me this my dad got
this And that's something that I could not relate
to. And I always had a hard time. I always wanted
to have a brother or sisters as well. And that's
something that I also lacked in my life. That
was something that I struggled with. Now, as
years went by, we used to have a lot of family
gatherings, which happened pretty often, actually.
And for the most part, cousins and friends of
the family would always come. There was always
music in the house, and one way or the other.
Even though I did grow up feeling very left out,
like I did not belong at all, you know, this
is my family, even though it was my grandmother
and everything, I still felt the disconnection
between just, I mean, just because I didn't have
parents, you know, I couldn't call anybody mom
or dad or, and I could see even my cousins having
their, their, their mom and dad there, you know.
So. The thing that made an impact on me were
two people, actually. One of them was a friend
of my uncle's that used to come to the house,
you know, every one of them, maybe once or twice
a month. And what they used to do is just simply
play their guitars and jam in the house. You
know, that was a cool thing. And he was the only
person that would pay attention to me. or at
least acknowledge that I was present or would
invite me to come over and if I had questions,
he would tell me, you know, like, okay, this
is how you do it. He tried to start teaching
a song at one point and I remember just get into
it. But I was, as a kid, I was patient. I'm still
pretty impatient, I think. So I wanted to play
guitar immediately and that's something that
was very hard. So I kind of gave up on it for
many, many, many years. and I did not touch the
guitar, or I did not properly learn to play guitar
until I was 37 years of age. And now, you know,
I have an album and a couple of albums that I'm
working on, so yeah, there's hope still for anybody.
But you know, like, being a kid and feeling completely
that I did not belong anywhere, having that type
of acknowledgement from a complete stranger in
that regard is something that shaped my view
of of life, you know? And there was another instance
when I was about 11 years of age and we had a
big family gathering. and we were out in the
house in the yard tons of my cousins and friends
were playing and all the adults were inside the
house and you know doing adult stuff and one
of my my uncles came out and he just wanted to
spend time with us and he just started playing
around with everybody and everybody loved this
uncle for that reason and i remember very clearly
thinking and looking at him and saying you know
what one day i would love to be just like him.
So I had that uncle who just decided to come
out and play with everybody. And I remember just
taking a step back and thinking, you know what?
When I grow up, I want to be like this uncle.
I want to be the one that pays attention to everybody.
So between those two experiences, something that
for me later on, I ended up understanding that
it was more traumatic. I couldn't see it. that
way when I was a kid because you know it's just
it's just life but that's just how life happens
to be you know and in a sense you know I was
being protected by my grandmother and by the
adults in my life in their way by not sharing
or making me feel like I was not part of their
family you know even though that's how I felt
they always did everything they could just to
make sure that I was taken care of that I had
everything that I needed. Internally that was
the struggle that I grew up with though. It just
reflected in just too many aspects in society
you know because when I went to school I didn't
feel like I belonged completely in a particular
group or even when I went to during a time in
my life that I went to church I also felt like
that I did not belong to specific groups you
know. I always felt isolated even though I participated
in just about everything. but that was probably
has a lot to do with my personality since I'm
a very I'm a go -getter type of person and I
like making friends but you know like growing
up as a kid I always made friends with old with
adults not so much with kids my age so I that's
why I always felt that disassociation growing
up even as a teenager I felt like I did not belong
in the teenage group so to speak because I could
talk to the adults better than I could and relate
to them. But when I was a teenager, about 14,
there was a variety of things that happened in
my life. When I stopped living with my grandmother,
I ended up moving in to live with my mother and
her husband and their two daughters. So, you
know, my half -siblings. And so talking about
not feeling part of things or continuing not
to feel a part of something, right? And they're
unfortunately... the relationship there was not
positive. And I ended up being kicked out of
my house at the age of 14. So I ended up living
in the streets for about three years. So I was
a homeless team for three years. And just trying
to find not only my identity, trying to fit into
groups, it was a way of survival. Trying to fit
into something was a way of survival for me.
But even through all that time, the memory of
that uncle and that friend of the family always
stayed in me, you know, because I knew that at
least in one way or the other, at least internally,
I knew that somebody else at one point did care
enough. I mean, my family did care. It's not
that they never did. But when my stepfather kicked
me out of the house, you know, it was a transition
of trying to find a place where I could be a
part of. You know, it's now I'm 50 years of age.
I'll be 51 coming up in a few weeks, in November.
And it's taken me a very long time to understand
that it's okay if you don't feel, if negative
experiences such as this one are some things
that you have to carry. through with you the
rest of your life, because they are in the end
a part of you. You know, so you cannot put them
aside, you cannot hide them, you can try, but
that doesn't mean that they will go away. You
know, so I've learned to not only cope with it,
but try to make the best of it. And one of the
things that helped me by just having the memory
of these two people in my life was me doing the
same thing for others. You know, I work with
kids now. And even though I've worked with all
ages from zero to teenagers and adults, right
now I focus mostly with that. working with six
-week -old babies to six -year -olds. But every
time that I teach one of my classes, that I spend
time with them, the one thing that I do, and
from the moment that I started working with kids
and teaching, I did not see, number one, my work
as a teacher. I saw myself more as a person who
was sharing life experiences, who was sharing
knowledge to them. And I felt that students,
for me, I try to see them more like, oh, you
know what, they're my nephews, kind of a thing.
They're more like family, because my approach
to them was completely different, more than just
me saying, you know what, you have to have homework
done, or these are the things that you have to
do. I mean, I still do, and I still have expectations
for what I want them to learn, even at an early
age. But most importantly for me is making sure
that they feel the same way that I've felt when
this with my uncle and this friend of the house
always made me feel, which was acknowledged that
I mattered. So for me, I think I'm just happy
to know that something that was negative or that
I felt was a negative situation in my life, I
was able just to turn it around, but I could
not have turned it around unless I was willing
to be those two people to others nowadays, you
know. So in terms of experiences that have definitely
changed me, I would say by all means these two
people, great humans for that matter. Well, thank
you Hamlet for that deeply personal story. You
for sure already answered my question about how
it's impacted your life. But I thought I'd give
you an opportunity to just add up any other thoughts
that you might have relative to your childhood
experiences, which sound pretty painful to me,
actually. It's just kindness can be reflected
in so many different ways. You know, you can
be kind by just respecting somebody else, respecting
their beliefs, respecting who they are, respecting
how they dress, respecting whatever it is, and
just being kind to them from that perspective,
you know, acknowledging that, you know what,
we all have our points of view and it's okay,
you know. And I think that's the message that
they transmitted to me, and like even now that
I'm just thinking about it, because I don't usually
go back to my childhood in that regard, but the
positive things that they were able just to do
without saying anything was, yeah, by all means,
they were kind, yeah. Thank You Hamlet for sharing
your story and thank you listeners for hanging
in and listening to another Tell me what happened
We're gonna end this show the song written by
Hamlet performed by Hamlet. It's called love
Until next time stay safe out there and try not
to hurt anybody Love is sincere love is true
love was made for me and you el amor es sincero
y verdadero el amor fue hecho para ti, para mi
love is tender love is free love is all you give
to me Love is thankful, love is real Love is
what we all need to feel Agradecido, el amor
es real Es lo que debemos dar Love is wonderful,
love is you Love is the world I have for you
Maravilloso es tu amor Un mundo de amor que a
ti te doy Love is sincere. Love is true. Love
was meant for me and you.