It is possible to be thankful every moment, every
day. It is possible to be thankful every moment,
every day. It takes practice and humility. It
takes vision and civility. Hi and welcome to
Tell Me What Happened, the podcast that features
people from all walks of life talking about real
events from their childhood and how those events
impacted their lives. I'm your host, Jay Rehack.
And I love listening to stories from people's
childhood, which also helped me understand who
those people are. Tell Me What Happened is sponsored
by Sidelining Publishing, publishers of quality
books, including Susan Salador's children's book,
I've Got Peace in My Fingers. Available worldwide
wherever quality books are sold. Tell Me What
Happened is also sponsored by laughsaver .com.
Visit laughsaver .com and record your laughter.
LaughSaver .com will keep it for you now and
forever. Your family will appreciate it. It's
free and it's easy to use. That's LaughSaver
.com. All right, let's get to it. Today I have
as my guest, a self -love coach, Kalen Vu. Kalen
is also the host of the podcast, Dear Loving
Universe. Welcome to the show, Kalen. Hi Jay,
thank you so much for having me. Well, I look
forward to hearing your story. Are you ready
to tell it? Yes, I'm very ready. All right, Kailin,
the way it works here is I'm going to hand the
microphone over to you and I will try my best
not to interrupt you. At the end of this, I'm
going to ask you how you believe what you're
telling me has impacted you as an adult. Okay,
thank you, Jay. You know, this is a very unique
experience, and I really appreciate that. And
just so the listeners know, I have no notes in
front of me. This is straight and raw from my
heart. So I'll just start off. When I was three
months old, my mom abandoned me, and this is
the story that I want to tell. So it's less of
the experience necessarily that I went through
but more of an absence of what I went through.
So my mom left me when I was three months old
and I had a Hispanic nanny who basically raised
me alongside of my dad but My dad is a entrepreneur.
He's a medical doctor with his own office and
he's amazing. And don't get me wrong, let's just
start off with, I do love both my parents very
much, but this is just the experience that I
went through. So my dad was working on his business
a lot and I would go home with my nanny and I
really called her my mom. I really considered
her my mom. I loved her. I love her. I still
love her a lot, but she wasn't really my mom.
She didn't give me a sex talk. She never taught
me how to love myself. I actually got sexually
abused when I was about five years old when I
was supposed to be in her care, but she was across
the other side of the house. And, you know, so
there were definitely factors that led to me
having low self -confidence and emotional independence.
Growing up fast forward to middle school, I had
really bad challenging, I had challenging acne
and my body started growing through puberty faster
than the other girls. So I was bullied for having
acne and I was also slut shamed. for just having
boobs and a more developed body than the other
girls. And so I didn't have a support system.
I didn't have my mom there in my life to tell
me it's okay to hold my hand through it all or
to tell me anything. I had to teach myself how
to put on a tampon and how to put on a pad. And
so this phase in my life, or at the stage in
my life, I had no self -love whatsoever. And
it was really the starting points of seeking
outer validation. But at this point, it wasn't
necessarily toxic yet. Fast forward to high school.
I completely saw outer validation. And it led
to a point of drugs, sex, alcohol, illegal, things
on not just the weekends but every day and I
had the worst friends and you know I'm not talking
about just one occasion I'm talking about like
cycles I get addicted to drugs and alcohol and
these things and one substance let's just say
and then I realize I need to make a change make
a little bit of a change think I'm gonna get
my life together now and that works for a little
bit and then I fall back down again. And so my
high school years were really difficult because
I really sought outer validation and I didn't
have a guiding light. I never had a mom to necessarily
teach me how to be a woman, how to love myself,
and how to respect myself. So then after that,
when I was about 17 years old, I reached a lowest
low in my life. where I had two friends that
overdosed and passed away. I totaled my car and
my relationship with my family was just absolutely
in the dumps. And that's generous. And so I genuinely
knew that if I stayed on the path that I was
on, I was going to die. And I knew that my future
would not be bright. and I knew that I needed
to make a change. So it was really scary, but
I packed up everything that I had and I moved
in with my grandma. And when I moved in with
my grandma, I remember the driving there and
I was so like, it's like this whole concert of
emotions. But I remember thinking to myself,
I don't know what I'm going into, but I just
know that it's better than where I'm coming from.
And The past was so painful that the only way
to get through it was to look forward than to
look backwards. And so I focused on the future.
I focused on myself. I got clean. I moved. My
grandma's house was about 40 minutes away from
where I was living before. So I was able to have
some space and distance from the drugs and the
toxic friends and even my family and stuff like
that. So that I was actually able to have that
space for myself. And I remember that first few
days were probably some of the most painful days
of my life. And that was really when I had my
spiritual awakening. Yeah, I was in such immense
pain that I decided wasn't really even a decision.
I just didn't know what else to do. So I just
started asking God for help at this point. And
then I started to meditate. I started to read.
I started to focus on school and bettering myself.
And I actually started to get better. I actually
started to get better. And after that, after
I started to get better, and you know I attribute
a large part of that also to spending time in
nature and going to the beach almost every day.
I decided that I wanted to start a blog and a
podcast. I wanted to start it because I knew
that by if I could help myself get better then
perhaps sharing my experiences and things I've
learned along the way could help people and so
ever since then it's just been an amazing journey,
and it's taken me down to a career of life coaching.
And I realized that I want to use my experiences
to help people for the rest of my life. So that
is my story in a nutshell of how my mom abandoning
me when I was a baby gave me a life purpose.
And it's so painful. I mean, I just imagine kind
of going through childhood feeling that way.
And of course, you're talking about being abused
as a five year old as well and everything else.
But I love stories of resurrection. I guess your
grandmother sounds like she played a pivotal
role in your life. But also this sudden awakening
and realizing and the idea of being a self love
coach. I'm a big fan of that idea, by the way,
I teach high school students. So I do believe
in the importance of people. loving themselves.
So you think that your childhood experience,
clearly it's led you to the blogging and then
also the podcasting and the idea of trying to
help others to self -love. You feel as though
you're, it's still an evolving story. I mean,
you feel that it's point, you're at a point now
that I don't know what the right word is. I don't
want to say total healing because that just doesn't
sound like the right words, but where you feel
a certain balance that you feel like you're not
going to Slip in any self -destructive behaviors
anymore. Yeah Yeah, that's a great question it's
actually I think I've learned and I've grown
from the experiences of Finding outer validation
because at this point in my life. I had gone
through so much pain that I had to learn that
Inner validation is the only form of sustainable
validation and so I realize now that only I can
give myself that validation and I don't need
to seek it from anywhere else so in that way
I feel I am complete and balanced and I won't
have to ever go out looking for anything because
I truly am actually happy in my own presence
and but I am human and so there are waves, ups
and downs and balances in my life. I'm not perfect.
There are times that I slip up. But then every
experience that we ever go through is a learning
experience. So I've come really far in my journey.
At this point, I can honestly say that I'm grateful
for my mom and my dad and my nanny and even the
people who have necessarily done me wrong in
the past and attributed to my trauma because
they've also given me a life purpose and helped
me get to where I am and help me be who I am
today. Wow. And so you have a blog that you've
maintained since, for how long have you maintained
that blog? I actually started blogging and I
blogged for about eight months, but I stopped
about six months ago. I think I just got a little
burnt out because I was doing it for, I was doing
one blog a week, which is kind of a lot. And
now I focus on my podcast and I've been getting
really good results from that. But yeah, I have
about almost 70 blogs on my website, dearlovelyuniverse
.com. And a lot of them you can read about my
high school experience being sexually abused.
and lessons that I've learned from my life. And
if that intrigues you in any way, I highly recommend
you take a look. Absolutely. Well, I appreciate
you telling us your painful childhood stories.
I am sorry that you had to go through it. I'm
happy that you feel a sense of life purpose as
a consequence of it. But whenever I hear painful
experiences of young people, I always think I
just wish they didn't have to actually go. through
it. But you sound like you're definitely on the
other side of all of that. And I look forward
to listening to your podcast. That's Dear Lovely
Universe, is that right? Yes, Dear Lovely Universe.
You can find me on any of your favorite streaming
platforms. Fantastic. Well, thank you very much
for talking with us, Caitlin. I really appreciate
it. It's my pleasure. Thank you, Jay. All right,
that's our show. I'd like to thank Kaelin Vu
for sharing her story with us. I'm still sort
of in pain thinking about it, but she sounds
like she's found a purpose that's helpful for
everybody. I'd also like to mention, if you'd
like to be on the show, contact me. If you have
a story to tell, I'd love to hear it. And then
finally, our sponsors, of course. I'd like to
thank laughsaver .com. Go to laughsaver .com
and record your laughter. We'll keep it for you.
Now and forever. It's free, and your children,
and your grandchildren, and your great grandchildren,
and probably a lot of friends will thank you
for it. That's LaughSaver .com. Of course, I'd
also like to thank Sidelining Publishing, publishers
of great books, including Scott Summa's timely
work, Don't Act Like the President. Now I'm going
to end this show, as we often do, with Susan
Salador's classic, Every Moment, Every Day. Available
on Spotify, BTW. Ask Alexa to play Susan Salador.
So until next time, this is Jay Rehack asking
you all to stay safe out there and try not to
hurt anybody. It is possible to be thankful every
moment every day practice and humility it takes
vision and civility it takes beauty and the wisdom
to see it everywhere it takes practice and the
wisdom to see it everywhere it takes beauty and
the wisdom to see it everywhere it is possible
to be thankful every moment every day