WEBVTT

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It is possible to be thankful every moment, every

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day. It is possible to be thankful every moment,

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every day. It takes practice and humility. It

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takes vision and civility. Hi and welcome to

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Tell Me What Happened, the podcast that features

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people from all walks of life talking about real

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events from their childhood and how those events

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impacted their lives. I'm your host, Jay Rehack.

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And I love listening to stories from people's

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childhood, which also helped me understand who

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those people are. Tell Me What Happened is sponsored

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by Sidelining Publishing, publishers of quality

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books, including Susan Salador's children's book,

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I've Got Peace in My Fingers. Available worldwide

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wherever quality books are sold. Tell Me What

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Happened is also sponsored by laughsaver .com.

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Visit laughsaver .com and record your laughter.

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LaughSaver .com will keep it for you now and

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forever. Your family will appreciate it. It's

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free and it's easy to use. That's LaughSaver

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.com. All right, let's get to it. Today I have

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as my guest, a self -love coach, Kalen Vu. Kalen

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is also the host of the podcast, Dear Loving

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Universe. Welcome to the show, Kalen. Hi Jay,

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thank you so much for having me. Well, I look

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forward to hearing your story. Are you ready

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to tell it? Yes, I'm very ready. All right, Kailin,

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the way it works here is I'm going to hand the

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microphone over to you and I will try my best

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not to interrupt you. At the end of this, I'm

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going to ask you how you believe what you're

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telling me has impacted you as an adult. Okay,

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thank you, Jay. You know, this is a very unique

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experience, and I really appreciate that. And

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just so the listeners know, I have no notes in

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front of me. This is straight and raw from my

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heart. So I'll just start off. When I was three

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months old, my mom abandoned me, and this is

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the story that I want to tell. So it's less of

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the experience necessarily that I went through

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but more of an absence of what I went through.

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So my mom left me when I was three months old

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and I had a Hispanic nanny who basically raised

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me alongside of my dad but My dad is a entrepreneur.

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He's a medical doctor with his own office and

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he's amazing. And don't get me wrong, let's just

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start off with, I do love both my parents very

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much, but this is just the experience that I

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went through. So my dad was working on his business

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a lot and I would go home with my nanny and I

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really called her my mom. I really considered

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her my mom. I loved her. I love her. I still

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love her a lot, but she wasn't really my mom.

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She didn't give me a sex talk. She never taught

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me how to love myself. I actually got sexually

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abused when I was about five years old when I

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was supposed to be in her care, but she was across

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the other side of the house. And, you know, so

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there were definitely factors that led to me

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having low self -confidence and emotional independence.

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Growing up fast forward to middle school, I had

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really bad challenging, I had challenging acne

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and my body started growing through puberty faster

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than the other girls. So I was bullied for having

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acne and I was also slut shamed. for just having

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boobs and a more developed body than the other

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girls. And so I didn't have a support system.

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I didn't have my mom there in my life to tell

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me it's okay to hold my hand through it all or

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to tell me anything. I had to teach myself how

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to put on a tampon and how to put on a pad. And

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so this phase in my life, or at the stage in

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my life, I had no self -love whatsoever. And

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it was really the starting points of seeking

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outer validation. But at this point, it wasn't

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necessarily toxic yet. Fast forward to high school.

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I completely saw outer validation. And it led

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to a point of drugs, sex, alcohol, illegal, things

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on not just the weekends but every day and I

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had the worst friends and you know I'm not talking

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about just one occasion I'm talking about like

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cycles I get addicted to drugs and alcohol and

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these things and one substance let's just say

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and then I realize I need to make a change make

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a little bit of a change think I'm gonna get

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my life together now and that works for a little

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bit and then I fall back down again. And so my

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high school years were really difficult because

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I really sought outer validation and I didn't

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have a guiding light. I never had a mom to necessarily

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teach me how to be a woman, how to love myself,

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and how to respect myself. So then after that,

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when I was about 17 years old, I reached a lowest

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low in my life. where I had two friends that

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overdosed and passed away. I totaled my car and

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my relationship with my family was just absolutely

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in the dumps. And that's generous. And so I genuinely

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knew that if I stayed on the path that I was

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on, I was going to die. And I knew that my future

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would not be bright. and I knew that I needed

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to make a change. So it was really scary, but

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I packed up everything that I had and I moved

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in with my grandma. And when I moved in with

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my grandma, I remember the driving there and

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I was so like, it's like this whole concert of

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emotions. But I remember thinking to myself,

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I don't know what I'm going into, but I just

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know that it's better than where I'm coming from.

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And The past was so painful that the only way

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to get through it was to look forward than to

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look backwards. And so I focused on the future.

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I focused on myself. I got clean. I moved. My

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grandma's house was about 40 minutes away from

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where I was living before. So I was able to have

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some space and distance from the drugs and the

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toxic friends and even my family and stuff like

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that. So that I was actually able to have that

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space for myself. And I remember that first few

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days were probably some of the most painful days

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of my life. And that was really when I had my

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spiritual awakening. Yeah, I was in such immense

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pain that I decided wasn't really even a decision.

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I just didn't know what else to do. So I just

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started asking God for help at this point. And

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then I started to meditate. I started to read.

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I started to focus on school and bettering myself.

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And I actually started to get better. I actually

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started to get better. And after that, after

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I started to get better, and you know I attribute

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a large part of that also to spending time in

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nature and going to the beach almost every day.

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I decided that I wanted to start a blog and a

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podcast. I wanted to start it because I knew

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that by if I could help myself get better then

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perhaps sharing my experiences and things I've

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learned along the way could help people and so

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ever since then it's just been an amazing journey,

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and it's taken me down to a career of life coaching.

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And I realized that I want to use my experiences

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to help people for the rest of my life. So that

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is my story in a nutshell of how my mom abandoning

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me when I was a baby gave me a life purpose.

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And it's so painful. I mean, I just imagine kind

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of going through childhood feeling that way.

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And of course, you're talking about being abused

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as a five year old as well and everything else.

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But I love stories of resurrection. I guess your

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grandmother sounds like she played a pivotal

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role in your life. But also this sudden awakening

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and realizing and the idea of being a self love

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coach. I'm a big fan of that idea, by the way,

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I teach high school students. So I do believe

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in the importance of people. loving themselves.

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So you think that your childhood experience,

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clearly it's led you to the blogging and then

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also the podcasting and the idea of trying to

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help others to self -love. You feel as though

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you're, it's still an evolving story. I mean,

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you feel that it's point, you're at a point now

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that I don't know what the right word is. I don't

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want to say total healing because that just doesn't

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sound like the right words, but where you feel

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a certain balance that you feel like you're not

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going to Slip in any self -destructive behaviors

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anymore. Yeah Yeah, that's a great question it's

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actually I think I've learned and I've grown

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from the experiences of Finding outer validation

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because at this point in my life. I had gone

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through so much pain that I had to learn that

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Inner validation is the only form of sustainable

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validation and so I realize now that only I can

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give myself that validation and I don't need

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to seek it from anywhere else so in that way

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I feel I am complete and balanced and I won't

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have to ever go out looking for anything because

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I truly am actually happy in my own presence

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and but I am human and so there are waves, ups

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and downs and balances in my life. I'm not perfect.

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There are times that I slip up. But then every

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experience that we ever go through is a learning

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experience. So I've come really far in my journey.

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At this point, I can honestly say that I'm grateful

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for my mom and my dad and my nanny and even the

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people who have necessarily done me wrong in

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the past and attributed to my trauma because

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they've also given me a life purpose and helped

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me get to where I am and help me be who I am

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today. Wow. And so you have a blog that you've

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maintained since, for how long have you maintained

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that blog? I actually started blogging and I

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blogged for about eight months, but I stopped

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about six months ago. I think I just got a little

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burnt out because I was doing it for, I was doing

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one blog a week, which is kind of a lot. And

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now I focus on my podcast and I've been getting

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really good results from that. But yeah, I have

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about almost 70 blogs on my website, dearlovelyuniverse

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.com. And a lot of them you can read about my

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high school experience being sexually abused.

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and lessons that I've learned from my life. And

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if that intrigues you in any way, I highly recommend

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you take a look. Absolutely. Well, I appreciate

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you telling us your painful childhood stories.

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I am sorry that you had to go through it. I'm

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happy that you feel a sense of life purpose as

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a consequence of it. But whenever I hear painful

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experiences of young people, I always think I

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just wish they didn't have to actually go. through

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it. But you sound like you're definitely on the

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other side of all of that. And I look forward

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to listening to your podcast. That's Dear Lovely

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Universe, is that right? Yes, Dear Lovely Universe.

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You can find me on any of your favorite streaming

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platforms. Fantastic. Well, thank you very much

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for talking with us, Caitlin. I really appreciate

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it. It's my pleasure. Thank you, Jay. All right,

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that's our show. I'd like to thank Kaelin Vu

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for sharing her story with us. I'm still sort

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of in pain thinking about it, but she sounds

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like she's found a purpose that's helpful for

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everybody. I'd also like to mention, if you'd

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like to be on the show, contact me. If you have

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a story to tell, I'd love to hear it. And then

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finally, our sponsors, of course. I'd like to

00:13:45.629 --> 00:13:48.929
thank laughsaver .com. Go to laughsaver .com

00:13:48.929 --> 00:13:51.710
and record your laughter. We'll keep it for you.

00:13:51.840 --> 00:13:55.519
Now and forever. It's free, and your children,

00:13:56.100 --> 00:13:58.700
and your grandchildren, and your great grandchildren,

00:13:59.379 --> 00:14:01.399
and probably a lot of friends will thank you

00:14:01.399 --> 00:14:05.600
for it. That's LaughSaver .com. Of course, I'd

00:14:05.600 --> 00:14:08.240
also like to thank Sidelining Publishing, publishers

00:14:08.240 --> 00:14:11.220
of great books, including Scott Summa's timely

00:14:11.220 --> 00:14:14.399
work, Don't Act Like the President. Now I'm going

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to end this show, as we often do, with Susan

00:14:17.100 --> 00:14:21.460
Salador's classic, Every Moment, Every Day. Available

00:14:21.460 --> 00:14:26.820
on Spotify, BTW. Ask Alexa to play Susan Salador.

00:14:27.539 --> 00:14:31.059
So until next time, this is Jay Rehack asking

00:14:31.059 --> 00:14:34.059
you all to stay safe out there and try not to

00:14:34.059 --> 00:14:38.720
hurt anybody. It is possible to be thankful every

00:14:38.720 --> 00:15:07.480
moment every day practice and humility it takes

00:15:07.480 --> 00:15:11.580
vision and civility it takes beauty and the wisdom

00:15:11.580 --> 00:15:15.980
to see it everywhere it takes practice and the

00:15:15.980 --> 00:15:20.440
wisdom to see it everywhere it takes beauty and

00:15:20.440 --> 00:15:24.980
the wisdom to see it everywhere it is possible

00:15:24.980 --> 00:15:29.600
to be thankful every moment every day