WEBVTT 00:00:03.370 --> 00:00:10.130 Pull up a chair and tell me a memory Why does 00:00:10.130 --> 00:00:17.670 it matter to you? I want to hear your story, 00:00:18.210 --> 00:00:23.350 your point of view Tell me what happened to you 00:00:28.039 --> 00:00:30.460 and welcome back to Tell Me What Happened, the 00:00:30.460 --> 00:00:33.060 podcast that features folks from all walks of 00:00:33.060 --> 00:00:36.560 life telling us of one childhood experience and 00:00:36.560 --> 00:00:40.380 how that event impacted who they are today. I'm 00:00:40.380 --> 00:00:44.060 your host, Jay Rehack, and like you, I've had 00:00:44.060 --> 00:00:46.920 my share of childhood experiences. Some of them 00:00:46.920 --> 00:00:48.920 have been really enjoyable, but some of them 00:00:48.920 --> 00:00:51.179 were actually quite painful. But I'd like to 00:00:51.179 --> 00:00:53.520 think that whatever's happened to me in my life 00:00:53.520 --> 00:00:56.179 has made me who I am today. Tell Me What Happened 00:00:56.179 --> 00:00:58.640 is sponsored by Sideline Ink Publishing, publishers 00:00:58.640 --> 00:01:01.920 of quality books, including Susan Salador's classics, 00:01:02.359 --> 00:01:05.159 One Little Act of Kindness, and I've Got Peace 00:01:05.159 --> 00:01:08.579 in My Fingers. Both of them are available wherever 00:01:08.579 --> 00:01:11.599 quality books are sold. All right, today I have 00:01:11.599 --> 00:01:14.909 as my guest a good friend of mine. Actually, 00:01:14.909 --> 00:01:17.329 it's a very good friend of my daughter's, and 00:01:17.329 --> 00:01:20.489 as a consequence, I became Alana's friend, so 00:01:20.489 --> 00:01:22.109 I don't want to pretend that I'm more of a friend 00:01:22.109 --> 00:01:24.450 than I'm not. It's more of my daughter's. But 00:01:24.450 --> 00:01:27.510 anyway, Alana Bennett. Alana is a screenwriter 00:01:27.510 --> 00:01:30.030 and a culture writer. Her work's been seen all 00:01:30.030 --> 00:01:32.769 over the internet, but you can also find it on 00:01:32.769 --> 00:01:36.590 Roswell, New Mexico, and the upcoming Exo Kitty. 00:01:36.950 --> 00:01:40.209 Welcome to the show, Alana Bennett. I'm so happy 00:01:40.209 --> 00:01:43.730 to be here. I'm so excited. Well, I'm fired up 00:01:43.730 --> 00:01:45.849 because I know you're a great storyteller. I 00:01:45.849 --> 00:01:47.409 don't want to put any pressure on you, but you 00:01:47.409 --> 00:01:49.930 are a great storyteller, someone that I've known 00:01:49.930 --> 00:01:52.329 for a while and would love to hear some backstory 00:01:52.329 --> 00:01:55.629 on you as a person. So I'm going to mute myself 00:01:55.629 --> 00:01:58.030 in about a minute here, Alana. But I want you 00:01:58.030 --> 00:02:00.250 to know that when you're finished with your story, 00:02:00.489 --> 00:02:02.810 I'm going to ask you absolutely one question. 00:02:02.810 --> 00:02:06.569 And that one question is, how do you think the 00:02:06.569 --> 00:02:09.349 story that you tell us has impacted who you are 00:02:09.349 --> 00:02:14.360 today? So take it away, Alana. Thank you. I am 00:02:14.360 --> 00:02:17.439 so excited. I am nervous because usually I feel 00:02:17.439 --> 00:02:20.620 like a little writing mole rat just in my little 00:02:20.620 --> 00:02:23.060 office tip -tapping away versus I've never been 00:02:23.060 --> 00:02:26.039 much of a performer. I've never done a lot of 00:02:26.039 --> 00:02:29.639 verbal storytelling so we will see how this goes 00:02:29.639 --> 00:02:32.539 but I am excited for the prompt and the challenge. 00:02:32.639 --> 00:02:36.099 I will start with some background to this story 00:02:36.099 --> 00:02:40.060 that I'm telling this period of my life but Basically, 00:02:40.479 --> 00:02:43.400 this story I've decided to tell today is about 00:02:43.400 --> 00:02:47.819 when I realized that my family had a lot less 00:02:47.819 --> 00:02:52.419 than other kids did financially. I did not really 00:02:52.419 --> 00:02:56.180 realize how much in poverty my family was until 00:02:56.180 --> 00:02:58.900 the time period of the story that I will tell. 00:02:59.379 --> 00:03:03.469 So my family moved from Los Angeles to Portland, 00:03:03.469 --> 00:03:06.770 Oregon, when I was about three. We never had 00:03:06.770 --> 00:03:10.169 much. We lived in a one bedroom apartment. So 00:03:10.169 --> 00:03:12.610 my brother had the bedroom. My mom took the couch. 00:03:12.849 --> 00:03:15.889 I had like a little nook that my mom built. I 00:03:15.889 --> 00:03:19.330 was so young that it didn't really faze me. And 00:03:19.330 --> 00:03:21.150 then we moved into a three bedroom apartment 00:03:21.150 --> 00:03:23.550 after that, which felt like lavish to me that 00:03:23.550 --> 00:03:27.610 I was like, this is a mansion. I had a friend 00:03:27.610 --> 00:03:30.979 who's older. brother had gotten his girlfriend 00:03:30.979 --> 00:03:33.479 pregnant and so both of them moved into the third 00:03:33.479 --> 00:03:35.099 bedroom when my brother went off to college and 00:03:35.099 --> 00:03:38.460 I had a nanny and it was really my mom helping 00:03:38.460 --> 00:03:41.539 these two broke 18 year olds who had a baby but 00:03:41.539 --> 00:03:45.379 to me it felt like felt like I had live in child 00:03:45.379 --> 00:03:48.159 care I never really thought about anything that 00:03:48.159 --> 00:03:49.939 I lacked I felt like I had everything that I 00:03:49.939 --> 00:03:52.319 needed yeah this three -bedroom apartment was 00:03:52.319 --> 00:03:54.939 was very memorable to me and then the time period 00:03:54.939 --> 00:03:58.900 that I'm focusing on kind of starts when my grandfather 00:03:58.900 --> 00:04:03.080 Hugh Bennett got cancer he got melanoma in his 00:04:03.080 --> 00:04:06.800 early 80s and my mother thought that she wanted 00:04:06.800 --> 00:04:09.800 to move to be closer to him in Orange County 00:04:09.800 --> 00:04:13.069 and so we gave up our apartment but I don't know 00:04:13.069 --> 00:04:14.469 exactly what happened here. Maybe I should ask 00:04:14.469 --> 00:04:16.490 my mom. I haven't circled back to this moment, 00:04:16.490 --> 00:04:18.670 but I don't remember exactly why, but we didn't 00:04:18.670 --> 00:04:22.569 move down to California yet. I will circle back 00:04:22.569 --> 00:04:24.310 to that because that the story kind of ends with 00:04:24.310 --> 00:04:27.250 when we finally do move down to California. But 00:04:27.250 --> 00:04:29.449 at this point, we had given up our three bedroom 00:04:29.449 --> 00:04:32.170 apartment, which was way out in what I think 00:04:32.170 --> 00:04:34.810 Portland calls the numbers. It was like 139th 00:04:34.810 --> 00:04:37.329 Street or something. It was like not the best 00:04:37.329 --> 00:04:39.230 neighborhoods. It was kind of just a dreary part 00:04:39.230 --> 00:04:42.430 of town, but we had this three bedroom. It was 00:04:42.430 --> 00:04:45.470 great. We gave it up and because we had left 00:04:45.470 --> 00:04:47.430 our apartment and didn't move down to Orange 00:04:47.430 --> 00:04:50.529 County, we didn't really know what to do next. 00:04:50.790 --> 00:04:53.829 And so this is when my family at this point, 00:04:53.910 --> 00:04:55.410 it was me and my mom because my brother had moved 00:04:55.410 --> 00:04:59.579 out. We started living in. motels. So we live 00:04:59.579 --> 00:05:01.399 in a couple different ones. There was a main 00:05:01.399 --> 00:05:04.000 one that we lived in that was right near the 00:05:04.000 --> 00:05:05.879 Portland Convention Center. So that's like a 00:05:05.879 --> 00:05:08.319 very, it's not a really neighborhoody neighborhood. 00:05:08.420 --> 00:05:11.160 It's the convention center and a bunch of rundown 00:05:11.160 --> 00:05:14.480 motels. And then like there's a mall, there's 00:05:14.480 --> 00:05:17.120 McDonald's. It's like where the conferences are. 00:05:17.600 --> 00:05:20.519 And so this period was, we moved out of the three 00:05:20.519 --> 00:05:24.399 bedroom when I was ending third grade and we 00:05:24.399 --> 00:05:26.389 moved into the motels at the beginning of right 00:05:26.389 --> 00:05:30.329 as I was entering fourth grade. So I was 10. 00:05:30.829 --> 00:05:34.589 I remember that we had two cats. And so it was 00:05:34.589 --> 00:05:37.069 two cats in a motel room with me and my mom. 00:05:37.610 --> 00:05:40.470 And I remember we had a hot plate for for cooking 00:05:40.470 --> 00:05:43.589 stuff. My mom was working at OHSU as a medical 00:05:43.589 --> 00:05:46.529 assistant and it was an easy commute on the bus 00:05:46.529 --> 00:05:51.180 for her. And she gamed it so that the motels 00:05:51.180 --> 00:05:53.220 that we were living in also helped so that I 00:05:53.220 --> 00:05:56.300 could go to an elementary school in a cuter part 00:05:56.300 --> 00:06:00.339 of town. So we were bussing into a very cute, 00:06:00.500 --> 00:06:04.399 very idyllic area called Selwood -Morland, Selwood 00:06:04.399 --> 00:06:07.720 -Wes -Morland area of Portland, which is kind 00:06:07.720 --> 00:06:11.139 of what I... have since come to consider my hometown 00:06:11.139 --> 00:06:14.240 neighborhood. It's very beautiful. There's a 00:06:14.240 --> 00:06:16.779 duck pond. It's exactly what you think of when 00:06:16.779 --> 00:06:19.079 you picture Portland. It's green. It's super 00:06:19.079 --> 00:06:22.300 walkable. I remember starting fourth grade there 00:06:22.300 --> 00:06:24.980 and like... walking to the Boys and Girls Club 00:06:24.980 --> 00:06:27.759 after and there would be ducks crossing the street 00:06:27.759 --> 00:06:29.680 and all of the elementary school kids walking 00:06:29.680 --> 00:06:31.879 to the Boys and Girls Club stopping to help the 00:06:31.879 --> 00:06:35.680 ducks not get hit in the road. It wasn't a suburb 00:06:35.680 --> 00:06:38.560 but it was kind of on the edge of where the suburb 00:06:38.560 --> 00:06:42.139 started and it felt very like a part of a type 00:06:42.139 --> 00:06:44.639 of childhood I had never had access to but it 00:06:44.639 --> 00:06:47.339 was ironic because I was busing in from this 00:06:47.339 --> 00:06:50.399 very like city convention center kind of nothing 00:06:50.399 --> 00:06:53.620 neighborhood and living in this little one room 00:06:53.620 --> 00:06:56.100 motel with my mom and two cats and a hot plate 00:06:56.100 --> 00:06:59.079 as we tried to figure out like what to do and 00:06:59.079 --> 00:07:01.040 so this was the period when i started to realize 00:07:01.040 --> 00:07:04.019 oh like i have a lot less than these kids have 00:07:04.019 --> 00:07:06.420 like these kids are living in really beautiful 00:07:06.420 --> 00:07:10.100 craftsman homes and like and we just didn't have 00:07:10.100 --> 00:07:12.279 we just didn't have money i started to realize 00:07:12.279 --> 00:07:14.139 like oh i'm on free lunch and not all of these 00:07:14.139 --> 00:07:17.579 kids are on free lunch i was late to school because 00:07:17.579 --> 00:07:20.540 like there was huge train tracks between my neighborhood 00:07:20.540 --> 00:07:21.920 and them we were literally on the other side 00:07:21.920 --> 00:07:24.120 of the train tracks and the and the big freight 00:07:24.120 --> 00:07:26.439 trains would would go by for like a half an hour 00:07:26.439 --> 00:07:29.600 at a time and stop our bus and yeah i just started 00:07:29.600 --> 00:07:31.720 getting a lot it was a lot more conspicuous to 00:07:31.720 --> 00:07:36.079 me at that point that i had less and one particular 00:07:36.079 --> 00:07:39.160 moment that i remember is you know at age 10 00:07:39.160 --> 00:07:41.439 you're still growing a lot i grew out of my shoes 00:07:41.439 --> 00:07:43.579 my mom couldn't afford to replace them right 00:07:43.579 --> 00:07:46.600 away and i'm not quite sure the details of getting 00:07:46.600 --> 00:07:49.620 a homeless kid into a new school. I don't know 00:07:49.620 --> 00:07:52.560 what goes on behind the scenes with the administration, 00:07:52.560 --> 00:07:54.379 but clearly they knew about our situation. And 00:07:54.379 --> 00:07:58.720 so I got pulled out of class and taken to this, 00:07:58.939 --> 00:08:00.839 at the time it seemed like a magical place where 00:08:00.839 --> 00:08:02.819 that was just full of clothes and shoes and they 00:08:02.819 --> 00:08:04.220 were like, take whatever you want. They gave 00:08:04.220 --> 00:08:06.079 me a big like garbage bag and they're just like, 00:08:06.100 --> 00:08:08.759 take whatever you want. I got to like raid as 00:08:08.759 --> 00:08:11.519 many shoes as I wanted, as many free coats and 00:08:11.519 --> 00:08:14.180 stuff like that. And at the time it felt like 00:08:14.180 --> 00:08:16.660 nice. and shiny, but also like, oh, I don't think 00:08:16.660 --> 00:08:20.399 the other kids need this to happen. And so it's 00:08:20.399 --> 00:08:23.360 more in retrospect, but it was in that era that 00:08:23.360 --> 00:08:26.360 it was kind of dawning on me how much I would 00:08:26.360 --> 00:08:28.920 go to sleepovers and they would live in like 00:08:28.920 --> 00:08:31.279 beautiful Victorians or beautiful craftsmen and 00:08:31.279 --> 00:08:34.779 not be worried about this stuff. And it would 00:08:34.779 --> 00:08:36.940 never come up for them that they grew out of 00:08:36.940 --> 00:08:38.539 their shoes and didn't have replacements and 00:08:38.539 --> 00:08:42.299 stuff like that. but you know when you're a kid 00:08:42.299 --> 00:08:45.840 you're super resilient and it didn't bog me down 00:08:45.840 --> 00:08:49.059 at the time it was more like oh there's this 00:08:49.059 --> 00:08:51.460 there was a dilapidated like old big white house 00:08:51.460 --> 00:08:53.259 across the street from the motel we were staying 00:08:53.259 --> 00:08:54.899 in it was like one of the only houses in the 00:08:54.899 --> 00:08:57.240 area and i remember i made friends with the girl 00:08:57.240 --> 00:08:59.559 who was my age who lived there i think her parents 00:08:59.559 --> 00:09:01.559 were russian or something like that and we would 00:09:01.559 --> 00:09:03.860 just play all the time like it's just like you 00:09:03.860 --> 00:09:07.179 make what you can out of what is around you and 00:09:07.179 --> 00:09:09.679 we would have so much fun and then I remember 00:09:09.679 --> 00:09:11.899 that we were playing one day she had this we 00:09:11.899 --> 00:09:14.620 were taking turns on a scooter that she had this 00:09:14.620 --> 00:09:17.480 was like the prime era of like razor scooters 00:09:17.480 --> 00:09:21.500 sweeping the nation and we would just race up 00:09:21.500 --> 00:09:24.899 and down this kind of empty motel street and 00:09:24.899 --> 00:09:28.679 this feels so extremely like 2001 because this 00:09:28.679 --> 00:09:31.200 was this that's the year that this was I was 00:09:31.200 --> 00:09:34.950 wearing too long for me bell -bottom sweatpants 00:09:34.950 --> 00:09:37.870 as I was doing this running and I tripped running 00:09:37.870 --> 00:09:39.690 after the scooter like running back and forth 00:09:39.690 --> 00:09:42.429 with her and I tripped and I broke my arm I landed 00:09:42.429 --> 00:09:44.509 right on my arm I still have the scar on my on 00:09:44.509 --> 00:09:47.450 my wrist and that I've broken two bones in my 00:09:47.450 --> 00:09:50.070 life that was the first one and so I just start 00:09:50.070 --> 00:09:53.669 screaming and and I just remember like that my 00:09:53.669 --> 00:09:56.889 mom was alerted because because the motel manager 00:09:56.889 --> 00:09:59.169 heard me like heard this little girl screaming 00:09:59.169 --> 00:10:03.070 across the street. And so I remember he had to 00:10:03.070 --> 00:10:06.549 go get my mom. We drove to the hospital. And 00:10:06.549 --> 00:10:09.230 there's just something particularly memorable 00:10:09.230 --> 00:10:11.690 about this time period for me, I think, because 00:10:11.690 --> 00:10:15.000 right at the end of this. period like right after 00:10:15.000 --> 00:10:16.659 I broke my arm, I think when I still have the 00:10:16.659 --> 00:10:18.460 cast on is kind of where the light at the end 00:10:18.460 --> 00:10:21.139 of the tunnel came, you know, because it really 00:10:21.139 --> 00:10:24.159 was cramped, like living in that one bedroom 00:10:24.159 --> 00:10:29.820 with or one room little space with two cats and 00:10:29.820 --> 00:10:31.840 a tired, tired mom who's just trying to figure 00:10:31.840 --> 00:10:35.620 things out and in a hot plate and. I think it 00:10:35.620 --> 00:10:37.860 really felt like the breaking of my arm was kind 00:10:37.860 --> 00:10:40.940 of a climax because the next thing I knew on 00:10:40.940 --> 00:10:44.039 the jobs board at OHSU where my mom was working 00:10:44.039 --> 00:10:46.460 as a medical assistant she saw that one of the 00:10:46.460 --> 00:10:49.940 OBGYN residents, her name was Jeannie, was looking 00:10:49.940 --> 00:10:53.139 for a live -in nanny. Her nanny was moving in 00:10:53.139 --> 00:10:55.419 with her partner in the same neighborhood but 00:10:55.419 --> 00:10:59.519 she couldn't keep on her nanny and she was a 00:10:59.519 --> 00:11:02.789 single mom who very much needed for her residency, 00:11:02.870 --> 00:11:04.889 somebody who could take care of her two kids 00:11:04.889 --> 00:11:08.509 who they were, I believe, five and three at the 00:11:08.509 --> 00:11:13.090 time, Cory and Jake. And so I think I still had 00:11:13.090 --> 00:11:17.350 my cast on when my mom applied for this job. 00:11:17.389 --> 00:11:20.850 She took us to meet them. We all went to the 00:11:20.850 --> 00:11:22.850 beach together to see if it would be a good fit. 00:11:22.929 --> 00:11:27.570 And then we moved into their house, which happened 00:11:27.570 --> 00:11:29.909 to luckily be in the same neighborhood as the 00:11:29.909 --> 00:11:32.659 one that my mom loved the one that she had me 00:11:32.659 --> 00:11:35.100 in elementary school at the time in Selwood. 00:11:35.299 --> 00:11:38.519 And so we moved into their house. The old nanny 00:11:38.519 --> 00:11:41.960 had lived up in a bedroom on the top floor, but 00:11:41.960 --> 00:11:44.120 because we had cats and because we were two people, 00:11:44.679 --> 00:11:47.279 we took over the basement. And so it was, it 00:11:47.279 --> 00:11:50.580 was, we moved into the basement of this lovely 00:11:50.580 --> 00:11:53.679 home in this beautiful neighborhood. It was like 00:11:53.679 --> 00:11:56.620 two blocks from the... duck pond that I had always 00:11:56.620 --> 00:11:59.240 loved and that my mom had always loved. And we 00:11:59.240 --> 00:12:03.899 got like huge Ikea cheap rugs to like make the 00:12:03.899 --> 00:12:07.080 basement less basement -y. It was literally me 00:12:07.080 --> 00:12:09.259 and my mom on two twin beds in the same room. 00:12:09.740 --> 00:12:12.500 And we put up shelves and kind of made a mini 00:12:12.500 --> 00:12:16.259 studio apartment. But that kind of, that period 00:12:16.259 --> 00:12:19.120 really turned into, it felt so idyllic to me 00:12:19.120 --> 00:12:20.460 because it was the first time I'd ever lived 00:12:20.460 --> 00:12:24.039 in a house. I'd always lived in apartments. And 00:12:24.039 --> 00:12:26.299 it was the first time I lived in a house in a 00:12:26.299 --> 00:12:28.659 really cute neighborhood. And it felt like I 00:12:28.659 --> 00:12:32.500 had little siblings to boss around and put on 00:12:32.500 --> 00:12:36.460 plays with me. And ducks would land on the front 00:12:36.460 --> 00:12:40.899 lawn, and we would walk to school. And so yeah, 00:12:41.159 --> 00:12:44.340 when I first broke my arm, it was, oh, like. 00:12:44.429 --> 00:12:46.330 The motel manager has to go get my mom. Like 00:12:46.330 --> 00:12:48.809 this is, we're running down this dilapidated 00:12:48.809 --> 00:12:52.690 old kind of abandoned streets. And then by the 00:12:52.690 --> 00:12:55.549 time I got my cast off, I was enmeshed in this 00:12:55.549 --> 00:12:57.830 kind of new household. We were still, it was 00:12:57.830 --> 00:12:59.889 still colored with a lot of things. It was, we 00:12:59.889 --> 00:13:03.090 were definitely more guests there than not. Like 00:13:03.090 --> 00:13:06.710 it was when their dad had them, had the kids, 00:13:07.049 --> 00:13:10.549 when their dad had the kids and Jeannie had like 00:13:10.549 --> 00:13:13.460 a date. we would go to a hotel or a motel again 00:13:13.460 --> 00:13:16.159 for a night. It was a very upstairs downstairs 00:13:16.159 --> 00:13:20.399 moment but at the time for a fourth grader it 00:13:20.399 --> 00:13:23.759 felt really nice to be enmeshed in that kind 00:13:23.759 --> 00:13:27.059 of space. And yeah so it was a moment that really 00:13:27.059 --> 00:13:29.820 highlighted the differences between us and them 00:13:29.820 --> 00:13:32.940 but also that gave me a glimpse into a different 00:13:32.940 --> 00:13:35.399 kind of life that we didn't have access to before 00:13:35.399 --> 00:13:38.950 but we had to gain access to it as the staff 00:13:38.950 --> 00:13:42.750 and the kid of the staff. But it was a mixture 00:13:42.750 --> 00:13:45.870 of things, but it was also lovely in a lot of 00:13:45.870 --> 00:13:48.049 ways. And I still, we stuck with the Selwood 00:13:48.049 --> 00:13:51.409 area throughout the rest of my time in Portland 00:13:51.409 --> 00:13:53.490 through when I graduated high school. Like that 00:13:53.490 --> 00:13:55.629 was always, that was our home, that was our space. 00:13:55.889 --> 00:13:57.789 And so we kind of claimed it for ourselves and 00:13:57.789 --> 00:14:01.330 we made what we could of what we had for ourselves 00:14:01.330 --> 00:14:05.070 there. And then our time with that family ended 00:14:05.070 --> 00:14:10.799 when my Mom did succeed in getting us down to 00:14:10.799 --> 00:14:13.940 Southern California to spend time with my grandfather 00:14:13.940 --> 00:14:18.419 who still had cancer. And yeah, so that is that's 00:14:18.419 --> 00:14:21.980 that's the story. I think that little that little 00:14:21.980 --> 00:14:24.320 young little girl, you know, riding on the razor 00:14:24.320 --> 00:14:26.799 or whatever and breaking her arm. And then you 00:14:26.799 --> 00:14:29.019 write the upstairs downstairs moment before I 00:14:29.019 --> 00:14:32.980 get to asking you how you believe that moment 00:14:32.980 --> 00:14:35.500 impacted your life, that that experience that 00:14:35.549 --> 00:14:39.750 a motel to being the resident of a basement or 00:14:39.750 --> 00:14:42.450 whatever in somebody's house. Did you ever talk 00:14:42.450 --> 00:14:44.990 to that little Russian girl with the razor again 00:14:44.990 --> 00:14:47.610 or did she drop out of your life? She dropped 00:14:47.610 --> 00:14:49.909 out of my life and I don't even remember her 00:14:49.909 --> 00:14:52.490 name at this point but yeah it was like a couple 00:14:52.490 --> 00:14:55.659 it was like a two month wonderful friendship. 00:14:56.980 --> 00:14:59.559 And just yeah, and I have no idea what happened 00:14:59.559 --> 00:15:02.899 to her. I kind of I kind of do wonder. And I 00:15:02.899 --> 00:15:05.200 think about the motel manager too. I like I remember 00:15:05.200 --> 00:15:07.840 so clearly what he looked like he was like big 00:15:07.840 --> 00:15:11.000 and burly with red hair and like, and and he 00:15:11.000 --> 00:15:14.399 was so concerned about me that day. And I'm sure 00:15:14.399 --> 00:15:16.460 that was a bad like knock on the door for my 00:15:16.460 --> 00:15:19.480 mom. But But yeah, it feels very like of the 00:15:19.480 --> 00:15:21.440 period too, of just like, I don't know where 00:15:21.440 --> 00:15:22.820 my kid is. She's somewhere down the block hanging 00:15:22.820 --> 00:15:26.399 out with one of the other families. But yeah, 00:15:26.419 --> 00:15:30.000 I had, I have no idea what happened to her. So 00:15:30.000 --> 00:15:32.279 I kind of violated my own rules. So I'm going 00:15:32.279 --> 00:15:36.960 to circle back to, how do you think? Well, I 00:15:36.960 --> 00:15:39.120 don't want, I want my listeners to know I'm trying 00:15:39.120 --> 00:15:41.419 to be honest with this, but tell me, how do you 00:15:41.419 --> 00:15:46.100 think that that experience has impacted who you 00:15:46.100 --> 00:15:50.129 are today? Yeah, I think it's everywhere. I think 00:15:50.129 --> 00:15:54.549 that that period of time from going from third 00:15:54.549 --> 00:15:59.470 grade into fourth grade really defines so much 00:15:59.470 --> 00:16:03.929 when it came to the specific nature of my life 00:16:03.929 --> 00:16:07.070 with my mother, both in terms of her specifically 00:16:07.070 --> 00:16:09.210 as she's kind of a vagabond spirit, she's kind 00:16:09.210 --> 00:16:12.049 of like a free spirit, like she will always try 00:16:12.049 --> 00:16:16.649 to be as like independent and feminist and as 00:16:16.649 --> 00:16:19.830 she can and she's super wonderful and I think 00:16:19.830 --> 00:16:24.330 it's a really big testament to who she is as 00:16:24.330 --> 00:16:26.070 a person and who she was as a mom and who she 00:16:26.070 --> 00:16:29.210 is as a mom that it took me so long to realize 00:16:29.210 --> 00:16:31.490 that we didn't have as much as other kids like 00:16:31.490 --> 00:16:33.590 I felt spoiled growing up because I had a lot 00:16:33.590 --> 00:16:37.870 of toys like I had like a great cat I had loving 00:16:37.870 --> 00:16:42.159 siblings and family and and it took me until 00:16:42.159 --> 00:16:45.120 that time to realize that there was something 00:16:45.120 --> 00:16:46.679 else and it was literally because it's like oh 00:16:46.679 --> 00:16:48.960 like who else is living in a motel right now 00:16:48.960 --> 00:16:50.679 like who else is living like without a kitchen 00:16:50.679 --> 00:16:53.580 and and all of that and at the time i'm like 00:16:53.580 --> 00:16:55.259 okay yeah this is just what we're doing this 00:16:55.259 --> 00:16:57.019 is like and you just kind of follow it and you 00:16:57.019 --> 00:16:59.159 kind of go with the flow and i think the fact 00:16:59.159 --> 00:17:01.639 that i could go with the flow for so long and 00:17:01.639 --> 00:17:05.099 i even did for so long after this it's kind of 00:17:05.099 --> 00:17:08.039 more in retrospect that a lot of class issues 00:17:08.039 --> 00:17:11.019 come up and you realize some of the nuances of 00:17:11.019 --> 00:17:13.200 what you were feeling in that time. But I think 00:17:13.200 --> 00:17:16.099 she gave me a lot of resilience with that, that 00:17:16.099 --> 00:17:18.940 it took me so long to catch on. And then when 00:17:18.940 --> 00:17:21.240 I did catch on, it was when things became so 00:17:21.240 --> 00:17:23.240 undeniable. And I think that it really does follow 00:17:23.240 --> 00:17:26.200 me through adulthood just in terms of, even when 00:17:26.200 --> 00:17:29.700 I was in college, when I went to spring break 00:17:29.700 --> 00:17:33.460 at a friend of mine who lives in Boston's house. 00:17:33.880 --> 00:17:37.119 And her house just felt huge to me. I was like, 00:17:37.119 --> 00:17:38.839 this is where you live. And it's not like she 00:17:38.839 --> 00:17:42.140 even was like a wealthy classmate. She was, she 00:17:42.140 --> 00:17:44.779 considered herself firmly middle class. But I 00:17:44.779 --> 00:17:47.779 think that that period just really highlighted 00:17:47.779 --> 00:17:50.059 for me how many people who don't think they have 00:17:50.059 --> 00:17:53.339 a lot have so much and how even just living in 00:17:53.339 --> 00:17:55.200 like that was a time, it was not a big house 00:17:55.200 --> 00:17:58.279 that we were staying in when we were nannying. 00:17:58.420 --> 00:18:00.039 It's not that this family wasn't even wealthy 00:18:00.039 --> 00:18:03.500 or anything, but living in a house, that's when 00:18:03.500 --> 00:18:06.200 it occurred to me, like how crazy that felt. 00:18:06.440 --> 00:18:09.839 It felt like the wildest world jump. And so I 00:18:09.839 --> 00:18:12.400 think that is what impacts me today. It still 00:18:12.400 --> 00:18:14.720 is a reminder. Like every time I enter a big 00:18:14.720 --> 00:18:17.960 house, I'm like, wow, I really grew up not in 00:18:17.960 --> 00:18:21.859 that. It's a good perspective to keep. All right. 00:18:21.940 --> 00:18:23.779 Well, last question, again, a little bit of a 00:18:23.779 --> 00:18:26.619 violation. I'm hoping is your mother still alive? 00:18:27.599 --> 00:18:29.660 Yes, she's still she's still very much around. 00:18:29.880 --> 00:18:32.920 She's still kicking. She lives in her own house 00:18:32.920 --> 00:18:37.539 now. Loves it. She's not in the motel anymore. 00:18:37.880 --> 00:18:42.380 No, no. She had some living in a car stuff through 00:18:42.380 --> 00:18:46.700 my mid -20s, but she is very much in her own 00:18:46.700 --> 00:18:50.200 home now. It's very much her. She's made it her 00:18:50.200 --> 00:18:52.579 own. She has a beautiful garden she's obsessed 00:18:52.579 --> 00:18:54.920 with. She knows everybody in the neighborhood. 00:18:55.839 --> 00:18:58.119 She's doing great. Great. That's good to hear. 00:18:58.930 --> 00:19:01.650 Well, thank you, Alana. I really appreciate you 00:19:01.650 --> 00:19:04.950 taking the time to speak with us. Thank you. 00:19:05.710 --> 00:19:07.829 It's great to know a little bit more about you. 00:19:08.009 --> 00:19:10.509 I've been tracking your career a bit, again, 00:19:10.589 --> 00:19:12.650 because of my daughter. And I know you're highly 00:19:12.650 --> 00:19:15.150 successful and that's kind of fun. But more importantly 00:19:15.150 --> 00:19:17.250 than that, the fact that you're resilient really 00:19:17.250 --> 00:19:20.569 makes me happy because life takes all of us in 00:19:20.569 --> 00:19:22.690 different directions and different bounces. And 00:19:22.690 --> 00:19:25.910 it's good to know that I'm sure no matter what 00:19:25.910 --> 00:19:27.529 happens, you're going to be strong. So that makes 00:19:27.529 --> 00:19:30.460 me happy. Thank you. Really, thank you so much 00:19:30.460 --> 00:19:33.619 for the time and the space. And I've been following 00:19:33.619 --> 00:19:36.960 you and your life and career and retirement as 00:19:36.960 --> 00:19:39.420 well. And so I'm excited to spend this time together. 00:19:39.839 --> 00:19:42.220 Thank you very much. All right. I'd like to thank 00:19:42.220 --> 00:19:44.740 my guest, Alana Bennett, the great Alana Bennett. 00:19:44.960 --> 00:19:47.099 I'd also like to thank my sponsors, Sidelining 00:19:47.099 --> 00:19:50.779 Publishing and laughsaver .com. So I'm going 00:19:50.779 --> 00:19:53.779 to end this show with Susan Salador's classic, 00:19:54.200 --> 00:19:57.180 Love Reveille. Because I think what Alana is 00:19:57.180 --> 00:19:59.400 talking about is a love story between a mother 00:19:59.400 --> 00:20:01.799 and herself and the larger issues of the world. 00:20:02.220 --> 00:20:06.000 So until next time, this is Jay Reheck asking 00:20:06.000 --> 00:20:08.559 you all to please stay safe out there and try 00:20:08.559 --> 00:20:12.700 not to hurt anybody. Love Reveille is supposed 00:20:12.700 --> 00:20:23.000 to wake up our hearts. I love you. I love you. 00:20:23.079 --> 00:20:32.869 I love you. Every single day I hear you, I hear 00:20:32.869 --> 00:20:40.190 you, I hear you And all that you have to say 00:20:40.190 --> 00:20:47.789 I see you, I see you, I see you And all the kind 00:20:47.789 --> 00:20:54.809 things you do I love you, I love you, I love 00:20:54.809 --> 00:21:05.829 you just because you're you. That's the truth.