WEBVTT

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I dearly hope we're never too busy to stop and

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smell a rose Though life is hectic and most of

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us have our ample share of woes Life's full of

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joy, do you agree? There are many more highs

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than lows You do? That's great, it's never too

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late Sing with me, here's how it goes I said

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hello, hello I like to say hello, hello, hello

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It's fun to say hello, I said hello We must make

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time to say hello Hi, and welcome back to Tell

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Me What Happened, the podcast that features folks

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from all walks of life telling us of one childhood

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experience and how that event impacted who they

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are today. I'm your host, Jay Rehack, and like

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you, I've had my share of childhood experiences

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that have impacted who I am today. Some of those

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experiences were quite painful, and others were

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actually quite pleasurable. Tell Me What Happened

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is sponsored by Sidelining Publishing, publishers

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of quality books, including Susan Saladar's classic,

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One Little Act of Kindness, available now wherever

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quality books are sold. Perfect for the holiday

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season. Tell Me What Happened is also sponsored

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by LaughSaver .com Visit LaughSaver .com and

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record your laughter. We'll keep it for you,

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now and forever. Your children, your grandchildren,

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and your great -grandchildren will appreciate

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it. So download the LaughSaver app today. Alright,

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today I have as my guest, a good friend of mine,

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Timothy Bernard Felton. Timothy is a comedian,

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improviser, actor, husband, and dad here in Chicago.

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I met him here through the comedy scene and he

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has become a family friend over the years. If

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you want to catch him live around town, you can

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find and follow him at Timothy Felton Comedy

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on Instagram. Welcome to the show, Tim. You mind

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if I call you Tim? Tim is great. All right. Let

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me get out of the way. I'm going to ask you at

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the end one question. And that question is, how

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do you think the story that you've told me has

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impacted who you are today? So take it away,

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Tim. I'm gonna tell you a story from when I was

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19 years old I think a freshman in college which

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qualifies as child I think at this point being

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39. So I was a studier in college I really liked

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studying spent a lot of time in the library and

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so one evening at a school night I had been in

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the library until pretty late and I was on my

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way home I decided to go back to the dormitory

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to write my biology lab report. So I head home

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on the way I decide to stop and get a coffee

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because I know it's bound to be a long and kind

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of hot evening with me and my studies. Come to

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think of it, I think I kind of was dating studying

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in college now that I'm saying it out loud. So

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I stopped at Reed Dormitory, the name doesn't

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matter to any listeners, but that's where I was

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because they had a cafeteria slash Starbucks

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and that coffee was going to be my fuel for the

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rest of the evening. While there, I noticed that

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there is a woman across the cafeteria who I believe

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is kind of like making eyes at me. I knew her

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from just briefly, had seen her in passing in

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my dormitory in the weeks leading up to that,

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but we had never talked. Now it's important to

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know here that I didn't have my glasses on at

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the time. I had only been prescribed glasses

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a year before and I wasn't wearing them regularly.

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So when I thought she was quote -unquote making

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eyes at me, which is just the way I talk, It

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could have been that she was just kind of turning

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her head in my general direction, and I thought

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she was making eyes at me because my glasses

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are for distance vision. Nonetheless, I was sure

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that the game was afoot. So I would drink a little

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bit of my coffee, think about what I was gonna

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do in my biology lab report, and then look up,

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hoping to catch her gaze again. This went back

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and forth for a little bit. But ultimately I

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decided I felt the pull of my studies and I knew

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I needed to get home so I could get this lab

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report done and this romance could wait for another

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day. So I take my large Starbucks coffee from

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the cafeteria slash Starbucks and I head to my

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dormitory which is nearby but in another building.

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I get back to my dorm, I collect my stuff, my

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essentials for doing my lab report, which were

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at the time the Amadeus soundtrack from the 1984

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classic Amadeus, which I had never seen, but

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it was a hand -me -down CD from my father, and

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so I used it for studying, some pretzels, a notebook,

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and an old Gatorade bottle filled with water,

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because I've always been an old man at heart,

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and I will not pay for bottled water even back

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in 2001? So I take all of my supplies, I head

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down to the middle building in my dormitory.

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It's two towers connected by a building in the

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middle where the computer lab exists. This was

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before I didn't have a laptop. It was before

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a lot of people had personal computers. So going

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to the computer lab was essential for me. So

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I head down there. And I open up the door to

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the lab, which is by the way hot, with 1999 Dell

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computers all running full blast. There were

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maybe 12 of them in this. small 10 by 15 foot

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room, all on these two tables and all running

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with their fans closed, not well ventilated.

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So it was steamy in there and it was full of

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bodies at the time. There was only one empty

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seat in that computer lab and who was sitting

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next to that empty chair? None other than the

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woman from the Starbucks slash cafeteria in the

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other dormitory. At that moment I realized These

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are the hands of fate. This is not a coincidence.

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I'm a person who when the first time I saw a

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rom come, I thought How did someone capture my

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story? I was all in when it came to rom -coms

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and I, that's just how I always was. And so when

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I see this empty seat next to this person who

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I had a steamy session of making eyes at in the

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Starbucks earlier that evening, I realized, okay,

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this is my meet cute. So I coolly and calmly

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as 19 year old Tim can, I wander over or I walk

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over there to that empty seat, sit down. log

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in, open up my notebook, and pop in my Amadeus

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CD and put on my headphones, and I get to working

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on my lab report next to this future love of

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my life, no doubt. I'm working on this lab report

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and I'm typing, or I'm trying to type, but nothing

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is coming to me. I get the title page done and

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that's it, consisting of the title, the section

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that I was in and my name and that is it and

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then I'm frozen there fingers hovering over the

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home row on the on the keyboard and doing nothing

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for probably five six seven minutes which if

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anyone is aware of What I'm doing is fishy, I

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think. No one sits there frozen like that, doing

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nothing on their computer. I'm stuck in the prison

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of my own mind thinking, oh my gosh, this person

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next to me, this is my moment. This is my meet

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-cute. I'm here for a reason to meet this person.

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Wow, things are really looking up for me. But

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as I'm there in my own head, I'm getting more

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and more nervous. I'm getting... An upset tum.

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I'm sweating a lot. Like I said, all those Dell

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computers are running, so it's already hot. And

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I'm getting a nervous sweat, which is not a good

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smelling sweat. That's a B .O. sweat. And I'm

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just stuck in this cycle of being like, you gotta

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do something, but why aren't you doing something?

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Why aren't you saying something? Say something.

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Why haven't you said something yet? It gets so

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bad that I have to... go to the bathroom to talk

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myself down. I go to the bathroom out of the

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computer lab and I splash water on my face and

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I talk to myself in the mirror which if you're

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at all self -aware is a very embarrassing thing

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to do. I literally give myself a pep talk like

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you're gonna go in there you're gonna... This

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is your chance, you know, there's a little bit

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of chemistry happening here, or I thought was

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happening here. Go in there, talk to this woman,

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be yourself. This is your person. The universe

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has put this person here, so you two are sitting

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next to each other for a reason. So I calm down

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a little bit in the bathroom by myself, and I

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walk back into the computer lab, and she's gone.

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And without thinking about it, I turn and immediately

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run down the hallway. I run down the steps. I

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run out of the center building. This is my running

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through the airport moment in my head. I run

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out in front of the dormitory. People are like

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smoking and hanging out and being, you know,

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general college students. And I'm looking left

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and right trying to figure out where is she?

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Where has my love gone? And I'm waiting and I'm

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like, why is she not? running back why why is

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she not showing up where is the where's the swell

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in the music what's happening here this is not

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how this is supposed to work and after standing

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there looking back and forth probably like a

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dog watching a tennis match or something just

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and everyone who knows what the people out in

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front are thinking after doing that for long

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enough i realize it's not happening so i go straight

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upstairs leave all of my stuff still in the computer

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lab i go straight upstairs to calm to calm myself

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down and come down from this like tizzy that

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I've worked myself into and I check in with my

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roommates who are playing Tony Hawk Pro Skater

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I believe because they don't they don't have

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their same sort of relationship that I do with

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studying and going to class but nonetheless I

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hang with them for a little bit don't mention

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anything about what just happened just try and

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kind of get my mind off it So I can return to

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the to the real consistent partner in my college

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experience, which is my studies. So I eventually

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calm down. I go back downstairs into the computer

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lab where I've left all of my stuff. And as I

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come into the computer lab, it's probably about

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maybe an hour later. I come into the computer

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lab and now it's mostly empty. There is the attendant

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who's there to help folks kind of looking at

00:10:54.000 --> 00:10:57.450
so much hentai pornography that it seemed like

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he must be doing research. Two other people in

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the computer lab and the rest of the chairs are

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empty. But who is back in the computer lab? This

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woman back in the computer lab. She's sitting

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next to one other person and they seem to be

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working on like a K201 project, which is something

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that I don't understand and business students

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took. They're sitting there and my stuff is still

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at the end of the row. Amadeus CD open, notebook

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open, bottle of water, left unattended for an

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hour and a half at this point, and I realize

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the universe has given me a second chance. So

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I go and I sit back at my computer and I put

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my headphones on, the soothing sound of Amadeus,

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and I again assume my position, frozen, fingers

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hovering over the home rope, and I don't do anything.

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I'm once again stuck and I think it must be I

00:11:52.700 --> 00:11:54.919
mean if you're in a computer lab and there's

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someone there not typing anything that's not

00:11:58.580 --> 00:12:02.940
necessarily a weird thing but that someone would

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become aware of but for them not to be typing

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anything and not to be surfing the internet or

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using the mouse at all or doing anything else

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not writing in a notebook just staring at a blank

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word document, mostly blank, just a title page,

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is an odd thing. So I am sure that I became aware

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that the other folks in the computer lab became

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aware of my presence and kind of the oddness

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or the odd energy that I was surely emitting.

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Nonetheless, I sit there and I tell myself I'm

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not gonna let what happened earlier happen again.

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And then I get my great idea of the evening.

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and I take my little mouse and I go down to the

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lower part of the computer and I open up a Word

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document and I quickly minimize it because I

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get cold feet and I return to my home row hovering

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in my frozen state. After another couple of minutes

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I realize, okay buddy, it's now or never. So

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I go back and I open up that Word document, that

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blank one, and I type which at the moment I thought

00:13:03.889 --> 00:13:08.340
was ugh. perfectly romantic, but now I can barely

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bring myself to say, I type on this blank word

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document, hey, comma, what do you say we go out

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sometime? Question mark, and then I immediately

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minimize it again. Afraid that someone will see

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or that, really just so uncomfortable with myself

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and what I'm doing at this moment. After sitting

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for another couple of minutes, frozen, sweating

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in that current state with that little minimized

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Word document just burning a hole in my in my

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psyche I get my second great idea of the evening

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and I decide to open that Word document and I

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go up to the corner file print and so I hit print

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and it's it's 2001 so on these old printers immediately

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it starts This loud sound in the computer lab

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as this word document with one sentence is printed

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and I do not move so everyone hears the printer

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go and typically what happens in that situation

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is someone whoever has printed the document walks

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over and retrieves their print but I was not

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moving, not flinching. So these folks are probably,

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I don't know what they're thinking, but this

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is not the way they expected anything to work.

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No one is moving, is budging for that print.

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Eventually I get enough courage, I stand up,

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I take off my headphones, and I walk over to

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the printer. And there is my romantic gesture

00:14:42.179 --> 00:14:45.620
sitting face down on that printer. But I don't

00:14:45.620 --> 00:14:49.250
do anything. I'm... my feet are locked again

00:14:49.250 --> 00:14:52.370
i'm standing there next to the printer i'm sure

00:14:52.370 --> 00:14:54.970
attracting the attention of the attendant if

00:14:54.970 --> 00:14:57.610
he can remove himself from the pornography that

00:14:57.610 --> 00:15:04.250
he's consuming or this woman or her k201 partner

00:15:04.250 --> 00:15:07.070
i'm sure they're aware that i am just standing

00:15:07.070 --> 00:15:11.669
there like a mannequin next to this printer not

00:15:11.669 --> 00:15:14.230
touching the document that's in it After being

00:15:14.230 --> 00:15:16.889
frozen there for what seems like an eternity,

00:15:17.509 --> 00:15:20.350
I get my third great idea and I decide to leave

00:15:20.350 --> 00:15:23.169
the document there. I still get uncomfortable

00:15:23.169 --> 00:15:25.929
telling this story every single time. I decide

00:15:25.929 --> 00:15:29.870
to leave the document there and I walk slowly

00:15:29.870 --> 00:15:34.649
and deliberately over to these two innocent college

00:15:34.649 --> 00:15:37.750
students and I stand them seated me standing

00:15:37.750 --> 00:15:41.149
a very uncomfortable power dynamic in a conversation

00:15:41.149 --> 00:15:44.389
I stand next to them eventually they turn towards

00:15:44.389 --> 00:15:47.850
me because it would be wild and unthinkable to

00:15:47.850 --> 00:15:50.509
not acknowledge someone's presence so they turn

00:15:50.509 --> 00:15:53.590
to me and I look this woman in the face for the

00:15:53.590 --> 00:15:57.610
first time up close and I say hey Can you give

00:15:57.610 --> 00:16:00.370
me some help with the printer? And she stares

00:16:00.370 --> 00:16:04.929
back at me, understandably confused. One, because

00:16:04.929 --> 00:16:08.429
that's what the computer lab attendant is for.

00:16:08.669 --> 00:16:12.429
And two, why is a stranger asking her or even

00:16:12.429 --> 00:16:14.629
approaching her in this computer lab when she's

00:16:14.629 --> 00:16:18.870
involved in this clear project with her K201

00:16:18.870 --> 00:16:21.470
partner? Who is this guy standing next to me?

00:16:21.730 --> 00:16:25.450
So she's confused, nervous, who knows, but not

00:16:25.450 --> 00:16:28.519
comfortable, I would say. And she replies, I

00:16:28.519 --> 00:16:33.120
don't think so. But I double down. Because again,

00:16:33.220 --> 00:16:38.279
this is my romcom, I'm thinking. And I say, oh,

00:16:38.759 --> 00:16:45.299
I think you can. Which is, in 2022, what year

00:16:45.299 --> 00:16:49.220
is it? A much creepier thing, I think, to say

00:16:49.220 --> 00:16:53.279
and just probably inappropriate thing to say

00:16:53.279 --> 00:16:57.190
in our current context. But I say, oh. I think

00:16:57.190 --> 00:17:02.529
you can. And she, being a relatively normal,

00:17:02.750 --> 00:17:05.970
run -of -the -mill human being, agrees. And it's

00:17:05.970 --> 00:17:08.789
like, whatever will get this interaction over

00:17:08.789 --> 00:17:11.490
soonest, I'm thinking is what she was probably

00:17:11.490 --> 00:17:14.869
thinking. So she gets up slowly and is like,

00:17:15.170 --> 00:17:18.950
okay, and so we walk over to the printer together.

00:17:19.309 --> 00:17:21.710
Who knows what her partner is thinking, her lab,

00:17:21.970 --> 00:17:24.789
or her K201 partner. But we walk over together

00:17:24.789 --> 00:17:27.190
to the printer, and we're standing there, and

00:17:27.190 --> 00:17:30.130
she's looking at me like, okay, what, what do

00:17:30.130 --> 00:17:32.549
you need help with that this lab attendant couldn't

00:17:32.549 --> 00:17:34.150
help you with? What's going on here? What are

00:17:34.150 --> 00:17:37.509
you, what? And I gesture to the piece of paper

00:17:37.509 --> 00:17:41.690
lying face down on the printing tray, and I say,

00:17:42.029 --> 00:17:45.450
I think that's for you. It's so creepy. It's

00:17:45.450 --> 00:17:48.369
so creepy to retell this story. I kind of can't

00:17:48.369 --> 00:17:53.509
believe that I'm doing it right now, but she

00:17:53.509 --> 00:17:57.410
looks at me confused and slowly goes for the

00:17:57.410 --> 00:18:01.369
paper, picks it up, reads my Cyrano de Berger,

00:18:02.710 --> 00:18:06.009
reads my perfect romantic statement. Hey, what

00:18:06.009 --> 00:18:08.549
do you say we go out sometime? Looks back at

00:18:08.549 --> 00:18:12.740
me blankly, no smile. No smile. How could she

00:18:12.740 --> 00:18:16.359
have a smile? He looks back at me and says, sure,

00:18:16.779 --> 00:18:21.259
I am probably all smiles, sweaty, red faced,

00:18:21.440 --> 00:18:24.819
and I respond, cool, and that's all I say, and

00:18:24.819 --> 00:18:27.859
I hold a writing utensil in her direction. She

00:18:27.859 --> 00:18:31.829
takes it. writes down her number, and I immediately

00:18:31.829 --> 00:18:34.869
leave the computer lab. Again, leaving my headphones,

00:18:35.210 --> 00:18:38.809
blaring Amadeus just out into the ambient space.

00:18:39.130 --> 00:18:42.789
There, all of my stuff, unfinished. I just have

00:18:42.789 --> 00:18:45.930
to leave. I've got so much energy. It's like,

00:18:46.069 --> 00:18:48.650
this is the beginning. This is the beginning

00:18:48.650 --> 00:18:51.809
of my story. And I go upstairs, and I don't tell

00:18:51.809 --> 00:18:54.869
anyone about it, but I'm buzzing for like an

00:18:54.869 --> 00:18:58.420
hour and a half later before I can return. I

00:18:58.420 --> 00:19:02.220
don't finish this actual biology lab until two

00:19:02.220 --> 00:19:04.859
or three in the morning because of this detour

00:19:04.859 --> 00:19:07.940
I've taken, this romantic detour. So fast forward,

00:19:08.240 --> 00:19:10.980
we go on the date. We go to a Starbucks, a brick

00:19:10.980 --> 00:19:13.420
and mortar startup, Starbucks, because I am,

00:19:13.420 --> 00:19:17.039
you know, a classy guy. And there is no chemistry

00:19:17.039 --> 00:19:21.339
at all. It goes fine, but it doesn't go great.

00:19:21.539 --> 00:19:24.619
And it was one day and done. And that's my story.

00:19:25.549 --> 00:19:29.289
Alright, I was listening to that story and feeling

00:19:29.289 --> 00:19:31.869
my own pain of my own experiences, of course.

00:19:32.369 --> 00:19:35.009
It's a sad story, but I'd like to know how do

00:19:35.009 --> 00:19:38.769
you think that that story impacted who you are

00:19:38.769 --> 00:19:42.369
today? When I think of myself now being a performer

00:19:42.369 --> 00:19:46.130
and a comedian, up to that point I didn't realize

00:19:46.130 --> 00:19:50.329
that the way I perceived the world around me

00:19:50.329 --> 00:19:54.410
or like in my own kind of dealings with anxiety

00:19:54.410 --> 00:19:56.470
that the thoughts that would go through my head

00:19:56.470 --> 00:19:58.369
and the ways that I would react to those thoughts

00:19:58.369 --> 00:20:01.410
were not how everyone else was behaving and it

00:20:01.410 --> 00:20:04.890
wasn't until I told that story live that I realized

00:20:04.890 --> 00:20:07.490
or like two friends I started telling that story

00:20:07.490 --> 00:20:09.730
and sharing all what was going on in my head

00:20:09.730 --> 00:20:12.210
which was a couple of years later the first time

00:20:12.210 --> 00:20:14.130
I told it to friends it wasn't until that point

00:20:14.130 --> 00:20:18.150
that I realized oh The way that I react and what's

00:20:18.150 --> 00:20:20.170
going on in my head is not how everyone else

00:20:20.170 --> 00:20:23.789
feels and there's something that's kind of entertaining.

00:20:23.849 --> 00:20:26.130
People like to have a window into that and I

00:20:26.130 --> 00:20:29.710
think now it makes me, what makes me gravitate

00:20:29.710 --> 00:20:33.410
towards work that is a realistic representation

00:20:33.410 --> 00:20:36.849
of... humans interaction in the world so like

00:20:36.849 --> 00:20:39.430
on stage I think that's why I tend to like to

00:20:39.430 --> 00:20:41.670
portray I like to play in the world of realism

00:20:41.670 --> 00:20:45.150
whether I'm an improviser or a comedian I'm not

00:20:45.150 --> 00:20:48.890
looking for the fan the fantastical I just kind

00:20:48.890 --> 00:20:52.549
of want to see a normal interaction and Feel

00:20:52.549 --> 00:20:54.970
all of the things that those normal interactions

00:20:54.970 --> 00:20:57.579
caused me to feel So I think that's how it's

00:20:57.579 --> 00:21:00.380
kind of like, it kind of gave me a hint that

00:21:00.380 --> 00:21:03.680
that was something a little unique about my experience

00:21:03.680 --> 00:21:07.559
of this life. And so I have been exploring it

00:21:07.559 --> 00:21:10.099
ever since I tried to explore it in my own comedy

00:21:10.099 --> 00:21:13.920
and my own work. All right, very quickly. How'd

00:21:13.920 --> 00:21:16.500
you meet your wife? We grew up in the same town

00:21:16.500 --> 00:21:18.660
and then went to the same college, kind of our

00:21:18.660 --> 00:21:21.420
last, each of ours last choice. We ended up there

00:21:21.420 --> 00:21:24.740
and she studied religious studies which my best

00:21:24.740 --> 00:21:26.779
friend and roommate were studying. It's a small

00:21:26.779 --> 00:21:28.759
program so they were in a lot of classes together.

00:21:28.940 --> 00:21:31.940
So she ended up hanging out at our house that

00:21:31.940 --> 00:21:36.119
I lived at quite a bit between classes and junior

00:21:36.119 --> 00:21:38.650
year. We started hanging out and became friends,

00:21:38.910 --> 00:21:40.990
and then that friend, my best friend, our mutual

00:21:40.990 --> 00:21:43.069
friend, went away for the summer, and it was

00:21:43.069 --> 00:21:45.349
just the two of us. So we kept hanging out as

00:21:45.349 --> 00:21:48.029
friends, and then it was like, oh, I feel differently

00:21:48.029 --> 00:21:50.509
about this person than I do a friend. That sounds

00:21:50.509 --> 00:21:54.250
like a rom -com to me, Mike. I'm going to end

00:21:54.250 --> 00:21:56.349
it on that, because that does sound like a rom

00:21:56.349 --> 00:21:58.769
-com to me. All right. Well, I'd like to thank

00:21:58.769 --> 00:22:02.759
my guest, Tim Felton. Timothy Bernard Felton,

00:22:03.039 --> 00:22:05.259
professionally. If you want to catch him live

00:22:05.259 --> 00:22:09.119
around town, you can find and follow him at Timothy

00:22:09.119 --> 00:22:12.619
Felton Comedy on Instagram. So thanks a lot for

00:22:12.619 --> 00:22:15.539
telling your very painful story. Like I said,

00:22:15.680 --> 00:22:18.930
I feel that pain. I know it. I think that a lot

00:22:18.930 --> 00:22:22.569
of our listeners do as well. The sort of a visual

00:22:22.569 --> 00:22:25.369
of what you expect to happen, not exactly coming

00:22:25.369 --> 00:22:28.329
through the same way. I hope whoever that lady

00:22:28.329 --> 00:22:31.809
is, she's happy wherever she is. Me too. I suppose

00:22:31.809 --> 00:22:33.890
you could probably find her on social media if

00:22:33.890 --> 00:22:36.730
you needed to. Probably, but I haven't tried.

00:22:37.069 --> 00:22:39.430
Good man. Stay away from that. You don't need

00:22:39.430 --> 00:22:43.779
all that. All right. Well, that's our show. Again,

00:22:43.779 --> 00:22:46.079
I thank Tim Felton. I'd also like to thank my

00:22:46.079 --> 00:22:48.859
sponsors, Sidelining Publishing, publishers of

00:22:48.859 --> 00:22:53.599
quality books, and laughsaver .com. Visit laughsaver

00:22:53.599 --> 00:22:56.160
.com and record your laughter. We'll keep it

00:22:56.160 --> 00:22:58.539
for you now and forever. Your grandchildren,

00:22:58.759 --> 00:23:00.680
your great -grandchildren, everybody you know

00:23:00.680 --> 00:23:04.519
will be grateful that you did. So I'm gonna end

00:23:04.519 --> 00:23:09.299
this show a little differently in honor of Tim's

00:23:09.299 --> 00:23:13.079
sad but ultimately redemptive story with Susan

00:23:13.079 --> 00:23:16.619
Salvador's classic Love Reveille. So until next

00:23:16.619 --> 00:23:20.480
time, this is Jay Reac asking you all to please

00:23:20.480 --> 00:23:23.339
stay safe out there and try not to hurt anybody.

00:23:23.819 --> 00:23:28.200
Love Reveille. It's supposed to wake up our hearts.

00:23:33.440 --> 00:23:41.500
I love you. I love you. I love you. Every single

00:23:41.500 --> 00:23:50.099
day I hear you, I hear you, I hear you And all

00:23:50.099 --> 00:23:57.619
that you have to say I see you, I see you, I

00:23:57.619 --> 00:24:05.579
see you And all the kind things you do I love

00:24:05.579 --> 00:24:13.589
you, I love you, I love you Just because you're

00:24:13.589 --> 00:24:13.690
you