WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:04.379 It is possible to be thankful every moment, every 00:00:04.379 --> 00:00:08.439 day. It is possible to be thankful every moment, 00:00:08.660 --> 00:00:15.720 every day. It takes practice and humility. Hi, 00:00:16.019 --> 00:00:19.100 and welcome to Tell Me What Happened, the podcast 00:00:19.100 --> 00:00:21.420 that features real people talking about real 00:00:21.420 --> 00:00:24.260 events from their childhood and how those events 00:00:24.260 --> 00:00:28.519 impacted their lives. I'm your host, Jay Rehack. 00:00:28.890 --> 00:00:31.429 And I love listening to stories from people's 00:00:31.429 --> 00:00:33.850 childhoods, which also help me understand who 00:00:33.850 --> 00:00:37.689 those people are. Tell Me What Happened is sponsored 00:00:37.689 --> 00:00:40.950 by Sideline Ink Publishing, publishers of quality 00:00:40.950 --> 00:00:44.350 books, including Susan Salador's children's book, 00:00:44.530 --> 00:00:47.990 I've Got Peace in My Fingers, available worldwide 00:00:47.990 --> 00:00:51.210 wherever quality books are sold. Tell Me What 00:00:51.210 --> 00:00:55.009 Happened is also sponsored by laughsaver .com. 00:00:55.049 --> 00:00:59.049 Visit LaughSaver .com and record your laughter. 00:00:59.810 --> 00:01:02.649 LaughSaver .com will keep it for you, now and 00:01:02.649 --> 00:01:05.469 forever. Your family will appreciate it. It's 00:01:05.469 --> 00:01:08.890 free and it's easy to use. That's LaughSaver 00:01:08.890 --> 00:01:12.409 .com. All right, it's time for our interview. 00:01:13.170 --> 00:01:16.109 I have as my guest today a very good friend of 00:01:16.109 --> 00:01:20.170 mine, a concert cellist, a woman who has been 00:01:20.170 --> 00:01:24.280 playing music for more than 50 years. teaching 00:01:24.280 --> 00:01:29.879 it, and having played everything from chamber 00:01:29.879 --> 00:01:35.439 music to early music to Broadway. My good friend 00:01:35.439 --> 00:01:39.060 who lives in Nantucket, the island my wife calls 00:01:39.060 --> 00:01:44.060 paradise, Molly Glazier. How you doing, Molly? 00:01:45.400 --> 00:01:49.540 I'm doing well, thank you. Are you ready to tell 00:01:49.540 --> 00:01:53.739 your story? I am. All right, well, Molly, the 00:01:53.739 --> 00:01:56.879 way I try to do this is I try to stay out of 00:01:56.879 --> 00:01:58.840 the way. One of the things that I've learned 00:01:58.840 --> 00:02:01.900 is the less I speak, the better things are. So 00:02:01.900 --> 00:02:04.420 I'm going to just let you tell your story. At 00:02:04.420 --> 00:02:06.700 the end, I'm going to ask you one question, which 00:02:06.700 --> 00:02:08.819 is, how has what happened to you as a child in 00:02:08.819 --> 00:02:10.639 this particular instance, how is that something 00:02:10.639 --> 00:02:13.620 that you've carried and impacted your adult life? 00:02:14.180 --> 00:02:17.180 OK? Okay, thank you. Thank you for asking me. 00:02:17.400 --> 00:02:20.840 I wanted to tell this story because it is really 00:02:20.840 --> 00:02:23.300 my hope that it could help other people, too. 00:02:23.539 --> 00:02:27.020 When you learn a musical instrument, it takes 00:02:27.020 --> 00:02:31.699 a village to teach somebody. It's a lifelong 00:02:31.699 --> 00:02:36.699 journey on many, many levels. And I was part 00:02:36.699 --> 00:02:41.039 of this music program in a school district in 00:02:41.039 --> 00:02:44.879 Springfield, Pennsylvania. And I am just astounded 00:02:44.879 --> 00:02:48.759 how much funding went into that program and produced 00:02:48.759 --> 00:02:52.240 just dozens and dozens of professional musicians. 00:02:52.340 --> 00:02:56.319 And I was there at a golden time. And this is 00:02:56.319 --> 00:02:59.560 particularly relevant right now because the orchestra 00:02:59.560 --> 00:03:03.740 teacher and band teacher from our high school 00:03:03.740 --> 00:03:08.919 just died two days ago. So it's all been on my 00:03:08.919 --> 00:03:12.340 mind a lot in the past few days, and I've really 00:03:12.340 --> 00:03:15.340 enjoyed reading testimonials on Facebook from 00:03:15.340 --> 00:03:18.680 other people that were a year older than me, 00:03:18.740 --> 00:03:20.900 two years older than me, you know, a year younger 00:03:20.900 --> 00:03:24.659 than me, and in my class, that we all had that 00:03:24.659 --> 00:03:27.979 band room as a sanctuary. It was a place where 00:03:27.979 --> 00:03:31.199 we belonged. I remember sitting around the table 00:03:31.199 --> 00:03:34.509 in that band room, and I just, I, it, It formed 00:03:34.509 --> 00:03:37.530 for me like how much I love being with musicians. 00:03:37.930 --> 00:03:41.569 And even though I was not the player I am now, 00:03:41.569 --> 00:03:44.909 I was not then. And that's actually the story 00:03:44.909 --> 00:03:48.830 I'm about to tell was why I was not. I mean, 00:03:48.870 --> 00:03:52.289 you know, a lot of things go into making a musician, 00:03:52.349 --> 00:03:57.389 but the foremost thing is really nurturing teacher 00:03:57.389 --> 00:04:01.129 when you're young. And I started, I'll just give 00:04:01.129 --> 00:04:03.919 a little backstory here is that In the elementary 00:04:03.919 --> 00:04:06.780 school, I referenced the high school time, which 00:04:06.780 --> 00:04:10.219 was so rich. And I actually, this man who just 00:04:10.219 --> 00:04:12.039 died, I don't know how he had the time and the 00:04:12.039 --> 00:04:14.280 focus to do everything he did. He just gave so 00:04:14.280 --> 00:04:17.480 much in that program. But the elementary school 00:04:17.480 --> 00:04:20.560 part of that program introduced instruments in 00:04:20.560 --> 00:04:22.699 the third grade. Everybody had to play recorder. 00:04:23.319 --> 00:04:26.660 And in that recorder class, it was like, honest 00:04:26.660 --> 00:04:29.040 to God, I'm sure the teacher had earplugs in 00:04:29.040 --> 00:04:31.170 her head. I don't know how. anybody could hear 00:04:31.170 --> 00:04:34.610 that because the recorder certainly like rearranges 00:04:34.610 --> 00:04:38.629 cells in people's brains especially when children 00:04:38.629 --> 00:04:41.529 are playing them all together but anyway we learned 00:04:41.529 --> 00:04:43.689 some music theory we learned how to read a little 00:04:43.689 --> 00:04:45.990 bit and then after that we had to take an aptitude 00:04:45.990 --> 00:04:48.709 test and I remember doing really well on that 00:04:48.709 --> 00:04:51.689 aptitude test and I was told I was allowed to 00:04:51.689 --> 00:04:54.509 take an instrument and I could pick anyone I 00:04:54.509 --> 00:04:57.050 wanted. And I remember having the conversation 00:04:57.050 --> 00:04:59.329 with my mother. I wanted to play the cello. She 00:04:59.329 --> 00:05:02.689 says, it's too big. And so I chose the violin 00:05:02.689 --> 00:05:05.089 because my friend Sue Lazovic chose the violin. 00:05:05.329 --> 00:05:07.730 That's the reason I did. And we were going to 00:05:07.730 --> 00:05:09.529 practice together, et cetera, et cetera. And 00:05:09.529 --> 00:05:12.189 I took violin lessons for years and boy did I 00:05:12.189 --> 00:05:15.050 hate it. I had that really high sound really 00:05:15.050 --> 00:05:17.620 close to my ears. because I had to hold that 00:05:17.620 --> 00:05:20.560 thing up under my chin and it just wasn't for 00:05:20.560 --> 00:05:24.759 me so I started to play violin between my knees 00:05:24.759 --> 00:05:27.579 like a cello because it was more comfortable 00:05:27.579 --> 00:05:31.160 and that wonderful well he was kind of a tyrant 00:05:31.160 --> 00:05:35.639 but he at least let me play the violin in the 00:05:35.639 --> 00:05:38.699 orchestra in sixth grade with the thing between 00:05:38.699 --> 00:05:43.180 my knees. I played that whole year and then that 00:05:43.180 --> 00:05:46.220 summer he let me switch to the cello. So this 00:05:46.220 --> 00:05:49.199 is between sixth and seventh grade. Okay, I had 00:05:49.199 --> 00:05:53.240 one teacher for that for like a year. And after 00:05:53.240 --> 00:05:57.319 that, someone suggested you should really study. 00:05:57.839 --> 00:05:59.399 I don't think I'm gonna say his name because 00:05:59.399 --> 00:06:01.319 he's passed away and I don't want to speak ill 00:06:01.319 --> 00:06:04.360 of the dead, but I'm gonna say he was a cellist 00:06:04.360 --> 00:06:07.240 in the Philadelphia Orchestra. And I couldn't 00:06:07.240 --> 00:06:09.160 believe that I was gonna get to study with someone. 00:06:09.399 --> 00:06:12.040 who was in the Philadelphia Orchestra and I thought 00:06:12.040 --> 00:06:14.920 that I had arrived and I was somebody now because 00:06:14.920 --> 00:06:16.959 somebody there was another cellist in the in 00:06:16.959 --> 00:06:20.220 the school who already studied with him and and 00:06:20.220 --> 00:06:23.199 she and I with our parents obviously our parents 00:06:23.199 --> 00:06:25.800 drove us and they used the carpool and I would 00:06:25.800 --> 00:06:29.060 wait for her lesson she would wait for mine and 00:06:29.060 --> 00:06:31.839 I just thought that I was going through what 00:06:31.839 --> 00:06:34.560 I was supposed to go through. I cried a lot in 00:06:34.560 --> 00:06:37.480 those lessons and I think that he shamed me a 00:06:37.480 --> 00:06:40.199 lot and I just thought that that's what was supposed 00:06:40.199 --> 00:06:42.779 to happen and my mother, I'm not saying I'm blaming 00:06:42.779 --> 00:06:44.600 my mother, well maybe I am a little bit, but 00:06:44.600 --> 00:06:46.779 my mother just was so impressed with him and 00:06:46.779 --> 00:06:49.160 she kept saying that he was a professional. That 00:06:49.160 --> 00:06:52.199 was her word. I could learn so much from, you 00:06:52.199 --> 00:06:54.019 know, and I just kind of kept going and kept 00:06:54.019 --> 00:06:58.149 crying and I wasn't getting a whole lot. and 00:06:58.149 --> 00:07:01.329 I still would glaze badly in the orchestra auditions 00:07:01.329 --> 00:07:04.850 and stuff at school and whatever. So I'm gonna 00:07:04.850 --> 00:07:08.170 fast forward to, I'm gonna say it was my fifth 00:07:08.170 --> 00:07:12.009 or 10th high school reunion. And I ran into this 00:07:12.009 --> 00:07:15.430 woman who was the cellist I used to carpool with. 00:07:16.250 --> 00:07:19.870 And she wanted to reminisce about all of those 00:07:19.870 --> 00:07:23.839 years studying with this. cellist from the Philadelphia 00:07:23.839 --> 00:07:26.600 Orchestra. And she says, remember when he used 00:07:26.600 --> 00:07:30.000 to take us to all of the orchestra rehearsals 00:07:30.000 --> 00:07:33.079 and we used to be able to listen in the audience 00:07:33.079 --> 00:07:35.579 at the Academy of Music to all those open rehearsals? 00:07:35.579 --> 00:07:39.220 I said, no. And she said, remember all the recitals 00:07:39.220 --> 00:07:42.079 at his house where he got to play our pieces? 00:07:42.139 --> 00:07:46.959 I said, no. He actually never invited me to a 00:07:46.959 --> 00:07:52.410 recital. And then I went, dear God, Why would 00:07:52.410 --> 00:07:55.370 you ever do that to a student? So fast forward 00:07:55.370 --> 00:07:59.769 to my takeaway. That experience taught me that 00:07:59.769 --> 00:08:02.569 you would never, ever, ever do that to a student. 00:08:02.889 --> 00:08:06.430 I've been teaching since I was 18. So that's 00:08:06.430 --> 00:08:09.889 a lot of years of teaching now. I'm 62. If I 00:08:09.889 --> 00:08:12.949 have somebody who learns eight bars of something, 00:08:13.350 --> 00:08:15.649 or it's gonna get up on stage and just play a 00:08:15.649 --> 00:08:18.629 piece with just open strings. and with a piano 00:08:18.629 --> 00:08:20.529 accompaniment or me sitting there accompanying 00:08:20.529 --> 00:08:23.089 on the cello and that kid gets to stand up and 00:08:23.089 --> 00:08:27.750 take a bow and be like proud that there was a 00:08:27.750 --> 00:08:31.389 small accomplishment that's what I have done 00:08:31.389 --> 00:08:34.289 and would I have been such a patient teacher 00:08:34.289 --> 00:08:39.210 and inclusive teacher if I had not had that experience 00:08:39.210 --> 00:08:41.049 with that teacher in high school I don't know 00:08:41.049 --> 00:08:44.860 but that really cemented it for me So that is 00:08:44.860 --> 00:08:47.440 the crux of my story here, but I will tell you 00:08:47.440 --> 00:08:50.759 that I did go on to undergrad and I had a very 00:08:50.759 --> 00:08:52.980 nurturing teacher for two years of undergrad. 00:08:53.159 --> 00:08:56.480 I mean, she is the one, this was at University 00:08:56.480 --> 00:08:58.539 of Connecticut, and I will say her name. Her 00:08:58.539 --> 00:09:00.620 name is Mary Lou Rylans. She's retired, lives 00:09:00.620 --> 00:09:05.000 in Vermont now and still remains my friend. And 00:09:05.000 --> 00:09:08.419 I just could not thank her enough for being that 00:09:08.419 --> 00:09:11.240 nurturing teacher who taught me to untie my hands. 00:09:11.299 --> 00:09:13.740 That's what she said she did for me. She taught 00:09:13.740 --> 00:09:17.779 me a balanced approach to the instrument. How 00:09:17.779 --> 00:09:21.139 to have a foundation of tension -free playing 00:09:21.139 --> 00:09:24.879 so that you can do anything. You can progress 00:09:24.879 --> 00:09:28.759 forevermore on that. So, you know, I still have 00:09:28.759 --> 00:09:30.899 her voice in my head when I'm teaching and when 00:09:30.899 --> 00:09:34.539 I'm practicing. And, you know, forever grateful 00:09:34.539 --> 00:09:39.080 for that. So I tell my students that music making 00:09:39.080 --> 00:09:43.240 is the bonus of learning an instrument. But the 00:09:43.240 --> 00:09:47.940 real work is your personal journey of can you 00:09:47.940 --> 00:09:51.500 focus too long enough? I have a lot of gray hair 00:09:51.500 --> 00:09:53.639 from students that I've tried to teach this to 00:09:53.639 --> 00:09:55.480 that it's been like, huh, what are you talking 00:09:55.480 --> 00:10:00.100 about? Can you focus for how many seconds or 00:10:00.100 --> 00:10:03.470 minutes here? on just those eight measures. Can 00:10:03.470 --> 00:10:06.750 you focus on all the tasks that are required 00:10:06.750 --> 00:10:08.490 for you to get through those eight measures, 00:10:08.830 --> 00:10:11.210 right? To think about your bow. You have to think 00:10:11.210 --> 00:10:13.549 about balance in your left hand. Are you in tune? 00:10:13.610 --> 00:10:15.529 Are you playing the right rhythm? Et cetera, 00:10:15.549 --> 00:10:20.889 et cetera, et cetera. So I feel like that is 00:10:20.889 --> 00:10:24.529 one of the most important lessons that people 00:10:24.529 --> 00:10:28.669 can have. The perseverance, the discipline, the 00:10:28.669 --> 00:10:33.440 being really easy on yourself that you did that, 00:10:33.659 --> 00:10:35.679 you know, and I'm going to build from that now 00:10:35.679 --> 00:10:38.600 instead of what, I'm sorry, go back to something 00:10:38.600 --> 00:10:41.580 negative, but the way that I was trained in junior 00:10:41.580 --> 00:10:45.139 high school and most of high school of like, 00:10:45.259 --> 00:10:48.240 you did that very badly, instead of showing me 00:10:48.240 --> 00:10:52.840 how to fix it, how to be satisfied with the small 00:10:52.840 --> 00:10:55.379 accomplishments, because the small accomplishments 00:10:55.379 --> 00:10:57.700 that build on each other and then all of a sudden 00:10:57.700 --> 00:11:00.299 you can play. And it's like, oh, and then you 00:11:00.299 --> 00:11:02.279 can play with other people and there's the bonus, 00:11:02.600 --> 00:11:06.720 right? So my takeaway is one of gratitude and 00:11:06.720 --> 00:11:09.080 it's not easy to be grateful when someone is 00:11:09.080 --> 00:11:11.899 really mean to you, but it's the only way to 00:11:11.899 --> 00:11:14.419 go so that you don't hold onto anything bad. 00:11:14.840 --> 00:11:16.700 That's kind of like my motto. I'm not always 00:11:16.700 --> 00:11:19.659 successful at it, but I really make an effort 00:11:19.659 --> 00:11:23.279 to hang with that. I think that's the crux of 00:11:23.279 --> 00:11:26.960 the story. Well, thank you very much. I know 00:11:26.960 --> 00:11:30.720 you, Molly, as beyond a professional cellist 00:11:30.720 --> 00:11:33.820 for all these years, but also as a great teacher. 00:11:34.480 --> 00:11:37.179 And you've always been very kind to just about 00:11:37.179 --> 00:11:40.419 everybody I've ever met in terms of people that 00:11:40.419 --> 00:11:42.480 you've taught or the people that have played. 00:11:42.720 --> 00:11:45.320 I try to play ukulele. You're always very kind 00:11:45.320 --> 00:11:48.740 to me about it as an example. So I do know that 00:11:48.740 --> 00:11:51.539 as a school teacher myself, I value a teacher 00:11:51.539 --> 00:11:54.440 who is nurturing rather than abusive. I don't 00:11:54.440 --> 00:11:57.019 know what else is how else to call it. So in 00:11:57.019 --> 00:11:59.360 your own practice, you've spent a large part 00:11:59.360 --> 00:12:01.679 of your life teaching and playing, of course, 00:12:01.840 --> 00:12:03.940 when you look back, you think you nurtured more 00:12:03.940 --> 00:12:07.139 than you gave people the forget about it. And 00:12:07.139 --> 00:12:09.860 you're a terrible language that you heard yourself. 00:12:09.899 --> 00:12:13.139 So I think that's the impact. Yep, for sure. 00:12:14.080 --> 00:12:16.759 Well, thank you. I'm sorry that that happened 00:12:16.759 --> 00:12:18.799 to you. I'm sorry you had this terrible teacher 00:12:18.799 --> 00:12:22.450 early on who didn't nurture. It's great having 00:12:22.450 --> 00:12:24.649 you. It's great seeing you. This recording will 00:12:24.649 --> 00:12:29.009 not see your fabulous face, but I really do appreciate 00:12:29.009 --> 00:12:32.429 you coming on the show. As I said, as a person 00:12:32.429 --> 00:12:35.250 who's always wanted to play music, I always like 00:12:35.250 --> 00:12:38.049 listening to real musicians explain it to me, 00:12:38.090 --> 00:12:41.509 what their journey was. Because, yeah, I just 00:12:41.509 --> 00:12:43.549 don't have that background and I don't have that 00:12:43.549 --> 00:12:46.049 perseverance and all that. And the idea that 00:12:46.049 --> 00:12:48.389 after a while you say, if I get eight bars and 00:12:48.389 --> 00:12:50.830 somebody stands up and applauds that, that's 00:12:50.830 --> 00:12:52.860 enough. I think that is the way to go, the way 00:12:52.860 --> 00:12:56.720 to keep people energized. Otherwise, if you're 00:12:56.720 --> 00:12:59.120 just waiting for perfection to happen, you always 00:12:59.120 --> 00:13:01.899 wind up dissatisfied with the songs coming out 00:13:01.899 --> 00:13:05.240 of your instrument. You know, another one of 00:13:05.240 --> 00:13:07.559 the things I like to say is that music making 00:13:07.559 --> 00:13:10.460 is normal. It's not just for the elite. It's 00:13:10.460 --> 00:13:13.960 not just something in an ivory tower, right? 00:13:14.299 --> 00:13:15.980 It's like, just have instruments laying around 00:13:15.980 --> 00:13:20.190 your house, just like clay all the time. I like 00:13:20.190 --> 00:13:24.730 it. I like it. So that's our show. Thank you 00:13:24.730 --> 00:13:26.769 so much, Molly Glazer, for telling us your story. 00:13:27.570 --> 00:13:30.850 I'd like to invite everybody who listens in to 00:13:30.850 --> 00:13:33.750 consider coming on to tell me what happened and 00:13:33.750 --> 00:13:36.389 telling us your story, your childhood memory, 00:13:36.970 --> 00:13:40.990 your formative event. Also, just want you to 00:13:40.990 --> 00:13:43.789 know that Sidelining Publishing will be publishing 00:13:43.789 --> 00:13:46.429 these stories, some of these stories, in a book. 00:13:46.559 --> 00:13:49.159 tell me what happened in the spring of 2021. 00:13:49.679 --> 00:13:53.120 And I invite all the listeners to send us a copy 00:13:53.120 --> 00:13:55.879 of their story if they would prefer not to speak 00:13:55.879 --> 00:13:58.899 it out loud. You can send it to sideliningpublishing 00:13:58.899 --> 00:14:02.220 at gmail .com. We're going to end the show with 00:14:02.220 --> 00:14:04.759 the full version of Susan Saladon's Every Moment, 00:14:04.960 --> 00:14:09.519 Every Day, available on Spotify, BTW. Until next 00:14:09.519 --> 00:14:12.860 time, this is Jay Rehaq asking you all to stay 00:14:12.860 --> 00:14:16.169 safe out there and try not to hurt anybody. It 00:14:16.169 --> 00:14:20.129 is possible to be thankful every moment every 00:14:20.129 --> 00:14:48.590 day practice and humility it takes vision and 00:14:48.590 --> 00:14:52.750 civility it takes beauty and the wisdom to see 00:14:52.750 --> 00:14:56.509 it everywhere it takes practice and humility 00:14:56.509 --> 00:15:00.909 to see it everywhere it takes beauty and the 00:15:00.909 --> 00:15:05.710 wisdom to see it everywhere it is possible to 00:15:05.710 --> 00:15:10.110 be thankful every moment every day