The end. and welcome back to Tell Me What Happened,
the podcast that features folks from all walks
of life telling us one childhood experience that
they've had and how that event has impacted their
lives as an adult. I'm your host, Jay Rehak,
and like you, I've had my share of childhood
experiences, some very positive and some of them
quite painful. But I like to think that whatever
happened to me has helped make me the person
I am today. Tell me what happened is sponsored
by Sideline Ink Publishing, publishers of quality
books including Susan Saladar's classic, I've
Got Peace in My Fingers. Tell me what happened
is also sponsored by laughsaver .com. Visit laughsaver
.com and record your laughter. We'll keep it
for you. It's free and your children and your
grandchildren and your great grandchildren will
appreciate it. That's laughsaver .com. All right
today I have as my guest a friend of mine man,
I've known tangentially over the years Randy
Richardson Randy is an attorney and an award
-winning journalist He is the founding member
and first president of the nonprofit Chicago
Writers Association That's how I know Randy actually
Anyway, Randy welcome to the show Hi, Jay. Thank
you for having me on the podcast. Well, I look
forward to hearing your story. I know you're
a bit of a storyteller, Randy, as you're a writer.
Are you ready to tell your story? I think I am
as ready as I'll ever be. All right. Well, let
me just tell you how it goes and the audience
how it goes. I'll do my best to stay out of your
story. At the end, I'm going to come back and
ask you how you think that childhood experience
or story has impacted who you are today. Are
you ready to go? Let's do it. Take it away, Randy.
First of all, I just want to say that I love
the idea behind this podcast. As you mentioned,
I tell a lot of stories and those usually turn
into fiction or creative nonfiction. And most
of those are inspired by things that occurred
in my youth. And so it was very difficult to
choose just one for this podcast. I have a lot
of what I call big event stories. I had a car
crash story. I had a story about going into anaphylactic
shock from a penicillin shot. I have a story
about losing my virginity. The story that I ended
up choosing is not a big event story at all.
It's a very small event story, but it happens
in the context of a bigger event. And it was
the story that was recently published in the
storyteller's true stories about love book. And
that's how you ended up contacting me. So that's
why I chose it. So just to set the scene, the
year is 1971 and I am 10 years old and I am in
fifth grade and I'm living in the South suburb
and in a South suburb of Chicago. And at the
time I thought I was living what was a pretty
idyllic childhood. I was very shy, but I had
a lot of friends. I got good grades in school.
I was good in sports. I really didn't think I
had much to complain about. And I was basically
happy with my life. And then the world that I
knew came crashing down. It was in the summer
of 1971 when my parents told me and my sister
that they were divorcing and that my dad would
be moving out. and that eventually we'd also
be moving. So eventually that meant that I'd
be going to a different school. And it just felt
like I was losing everything, everything that
I knew. I was losing the family that I knew,
I was losing all the friends that I knew, and
I was losing the house that I knew. And I just
remember in the days that followed that my parents,
they all seemed like different people to me.
Like the people that I knew, I just didn't feel
like I knew them anymore and I didn't understand
that. And the house that I knew, it didn't seem
like the same place anymore. It just, it felt
incredibly quiet all the time. And I thought
about all these things usually when I would go
to bed and I would basically cry myself to sleep
every night. And it was just an incredibly sad
time, and I'm sure any kid who goes through a
divorce goes through the same kind of things.
So the story really begins one day when my mom
tells me and my sister that we're going to take
a drive. And she doesn't say where we're going
or why we're doing it. And so my sister and I
both kind of look at each other and go shrug
our shoulders and wonder what's going on. And
I remember sitting in the backseat of the car.
And, you know, my sister, you know, sits as far
away from me as possible. And at the time I was
thinking like how we probably could not have
been farther apart, but probably in some ways
had never been closer than we'd ever been in
our lives. And I also started thinking how it
just felt good to be out of that house at the
time. And so my mom keeps driving and... I don't
know exactly how far it was. It seemed like a
long drive, but it was probably only like a half
hour. And she eventually parks in the parking
lot of Children's Bargain Town. Now, if you're
my age, you probably remember these stores. They
were the Toys R Us before there was Toys R Us.
They're just these huge stores filled with toys.
And so my mom turns around from the front seat.
She looks at my sister and I. and she tells us
that we can pick out one toy each. And so my
sister and I look at each other, you know, all
giddy thinking, okay, this is like Christmas
in July. You know, we get to choose any toy we
want in this huge store. And I remember walking
into that store and at the time feeling like
it was just incredibly overwhelming. And it wasn't
just this store in these giant aisles filled
with all these toys and the decision that I had
to make in terms of choosing one toy out of all
these toys, it was the reality of my new life,
that the life that I knew was never ever going
to be the same. So my sister, who was two years
younger than me, she selects a doll, which is
what you would probably expect an eight -year
-old girl to pick. I picked out a $10 hockey
helmet. And I remember my mom looking at me when
I came up to the cash register with this $10
hockey helmet. And she was looking at me rather
strangely. And she asks, are you sure that's
what I wanted? And she was just confused by my
choice. And she had good reason to be confused
because I didn't play hockey. And I could barely
skate. I really... not ever shown any interest
in hockey. I was always a baseball player. That
was my sport. But I told her this is what I wanted
and she goes, okay. And so we, she buys me this
$10 hockey helmet. And so the last part of the
story is I remember sitting in the backseat of
that car and I ripped off the tags off the helmet
and I put it on my head and it's way, way too
tight and it feels kind of strange, but it also
feels good because I feel like I'm protected,
like this is going to protect me for anything
that I'm not expecting in the future. And that
was the moment that stuck with me through all
these years. It's this very small moment that
happened in the context of this obviously very
big moment in my life. Randy, that was great.
I'm so sad for that little guy and for your sister
as well. But those of us who are writers or even
not writers can appreciate a little young guy
putting on a helmet, trying to protect himself
from the emotional blow that he's suffered already.
And he is not looking for another blow. I mean,
it's a perfect metaphor for what little kids
go through. And it's like, I wish hockey helmets
would keep them from having to suffer like that.
Yeah. Yeah. I mean, and I'm sure that I not consciously
realized any of that when I bought it, but, you
know, maybe subconsciously I did. That's incredible.
I mean, I will never I tell you this from the
heart. I will never look at a hockey helmet the
same way again. Definitely. Yeah, it resonates
with me. I don't know. I don't know your particular
experience. I my folks did not divorce, but I
wrote a book many years ago called blows to the
head and it was about 15 shots that I took to
the head. So. and some were emotional, some physical,
and we've all taken some shots. You basically
are telling us a story of a blow to the head
for sure. Randy, how do you think that that event
has impacted you as an adult? Well, I did not
learn how to play hockey. But I think more than
anything, I learned from that about empathy.
I learned that I wasn't the only one that was
hurting. I saw probably for the first time that
my sister was hurting. And I also probably saw
for the first time that my parents were also
hurting. And in another way, I also saw how a
small act can make a big difference. And my sister
and I, we didn't need, she didn't need that doll.
I didn't need that hockey helmet. you know, for
any reason other than for comfort level. But
what we needed more than anything was to know
that we're still loved. And that's what my mom
was showing us. And that's what I learned from
that. And that's what I hope that I've brought
on to my family, my son, and really just about
anybody that I deal with. I think I learned pretty
much who I was at that point. Wow. Well, Again,
I'm so sorry that you had to endure that. I know
you're a successful attorney and a successful
writer. And again, you actually said you used
that painful story in your writing. And it's
in a book, you said, right? What's the name of
the book? It's called Storytellers, True Stories
About Love. It just came out. A local publisher
put it together. Fantastic. I'll have to take
a look at it. Well, I want to thank you for being
on the show, Randy, and opening up yourself to
this. I mean, I know that you're a writer. So
the idea with that is somebody said, Tolstoy
or somebody said, writing is easy. You just sit
down and open up a vein. And that's what you've
done for us and for the listeners and obviously
for your readers. So thank you for that. Well,
thank you. I appreciate you having me on. It
was fun to I actually like going back and reliving
my past and thinking about it and looking about
looking at how it has affected me. And that's
why I like the idea of your podcast. Thank you.
All right. Well, that's Randy Richardson. I'd
like to thank Randy for coming on the show. I'd
like to thank our sponsor, Sidelining Publishing,
publishers of quality books. And I'd like to
thank laughsaver .com. Visit laughsaver .com
and record your laughter. We'll keep it for you
now and forever. It's free, and your family will
appreciate it. All right, so I'm going to end
this show, as I often do, with Susan Salador's
classic, The Boo Boo Blues. So until next time,
this is Jay Rehak asking you all to please stay
safe out there and try not to hurt anybody. you
Let mama fix it for you.