WEBVTT

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The end. and welcome back to Tell Me What Happened,

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the podcast that features folks from all walks

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of life telling us one childhood experience that

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they've had and how that event has impacted their

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lives as an adult. I'm your host, Jay Rehak,

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and like you, I've had my share of childhood

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experiences, some very positive and some of them

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quite painful. But I like to think that whatever

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happened to me has helped make me the person

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I am today. Tell me what happened is sponsored

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by Sideline Ink Publishing, publishers of quality

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books including Susan Saladar's classic, I've

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Got Peace in My Fingers. Tell me what happened

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is also sponsored by laughsaver .com. Visit laughsaver

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.com and record your laughter. We'll keep it

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for you. It's free and your children and your

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grandchildren and your great grandchildren will

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appreciate it. That's laughsaver .com. All right

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today I have as my guest a friend of mine man,

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I've known tangentially over the years Randy

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Richardson Randy is an attorney and an award

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-winning journalist He is the founding member

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and first president of the nonprofit Chicago

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Writers Association That's how I know Randy actually

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Anyway, Randy welcome to the show Hi, Jay. Thank

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you for having me on the podcast. Well, I look

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forward to hearing your story. I know you're

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a bit of a storyteller, Randy, as you're a writer.

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Are you ready to tell your story? I think I am

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as ready as I'll ever be. All right. Well, let

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me just tell you how it goes and the audience

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how it goes. I'll do my best to stay out of your

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story. At the end, I'm going to come back and

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ask you how you think that childhood experience

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or story has impacted who you are today. Are

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you ready to go? Let's do it. Take it away, Randy.

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First of all, I just want to say that I love

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the idea behind this podcast. As you mentioned,

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I tell a lot of stories and those usually turn

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into fiction or creative nonfiction. And most

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of those are inspired by things that occurred

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in my youth. And so it was very difficult to

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choose just one for this podcast. I have a lot

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of what I call big event stories. I had a car

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crash story. I had a story about going into anaphylactic

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shock from a penicillin shot. I have a story

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about losing my virginity. The story that I ended

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up choosing is not a big event story at all.

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It's a very small event story, but it happens

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in the context of a bigger event. And it was

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the story that was recently published in the

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storyteller's true stories about love book. And

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that's how you ended up contacting me. So that's

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why I chose it. So just to set the scene, the

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year is 1971 and I am 10 years old and I am in

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fifth grade and I'm living in the South suburb

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and in a South suburb of Chicago. And at the

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time I thought I was living what was a pretty

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idyllic childhood. I was very shy, but I had

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a lot of friends. I got good grades in school.

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I was good in sports. I really didn't think I

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had much to complain about. And I was basically

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happy with my life. And then the world that I

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knew came crashing down. It was in the summer

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of 1971 when my parents told me and my sister

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that they were divorcing and that my dad would

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be moving out. and that eventually we'd also

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be moving. So eventually that meant that I'd

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be going to a different school. And it just felt

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like I was losing everything, everything that

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I knew. I was losing the family that I knew,

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I was losing all the friends that I knew, and

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I was losing the house that I knew. And I just

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remember in the days that followed that my parents,

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they all seemed like different people to me.

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Like the people that I knew, I just didn't feel

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like I knew them anymore and I didn't understand

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that. And the house that I knew, it didn't seem

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like the same place anymore. It just, it felt

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incredibly quiet all the time. And I thought

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about all these things usually when I would go

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to bed and I would basically cry myself to sleep

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every night. And it was just an incredibly sad

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time, and I'm sure any kid who goes through a

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divorce goes through the same kind of things.

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So the story really begins one day when my mom

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tells me and my sister that we're going to take

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a drive. And she doesn't say where we're going

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or why we're doing it. And so my sister and I

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both kind of look at each other and go shrug

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our shoulders and wonder what's going on. And

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I remember sitting in the backseat of the car.

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And, you know, my sister, you know, sits as far

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away from me as possible. And at the time I was

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thinking like how we probably could not have

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been farther apart, but probably in some ways

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had never been closer than we'd ever been in

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our lives. And I also started thinking how it

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just felt good to be out of that house at the

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time. And so my mom keeps driving and... I don't

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know exactly how far it was. It seemed like a

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long drive, but it was probably only like a half

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hour. And she eventually parks in the parking

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lot of Children's Bargain Town. Now, if you're

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my age, you probably remember these stores. They

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were the Toys R Us before there was Toys R Us.

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They're just these huge stores filled with toys.

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And so my mom turns around from the front seat.

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She looks at my sister and I. and she tells us

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that we can pick out one toy each. And so my

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sister and I look at each other, you know, all

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giddy thinking, okay, this is like Christmas

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in July. You know, we get to choose any toy we

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want in this huge store. And I remember walking

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into that store and at the time feeling like

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it was just incredibly overwhelming. And it wasn't

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just this store in these giant aisles filled

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with all these toys and the decision that I had

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to make in terms of choosing one toy out of all

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these toys, it was the reality of my new life,

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that the life that I knew was never ever going

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to be the same. So my sister, who was two years

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younger than me, she selects a doll, which is

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what you would probably expect an eight -year

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-old girl to pick. I picked out a $10 hockey

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helmet. And I remember my mom looking at me when

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I came up to the cash register with this $10

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hockey helmet. And she was looking at me rather

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strangely. And she asks, are you sure that's

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what I wanted? And she was just confused by my

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choice. And she had good reason to be confused

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because I didn't play hockey. And I could barely

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skate. I really... not ever shown any interest

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in hockey. I was always a baseball player. That

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was my sport. But I told her this is what I wanted

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and she goes, okay. And so we, she buys me this

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$10 hockey helmet. And so the last part of the

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story is I remember sitting in the backseat of

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that car and I ripped off the tags off the helmet

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and I put it on my head and it's way, way too

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tight and it feels kind of strange, but it also

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feels good because I feel like I'm protected,

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like this is going to protect me for anything

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that I'm not expecting in the future. And that

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was the moment that stuck with me through all

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these years. It's this very small moment that

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happened in the context of this obviously very

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big moment in my life. Randy, that was great.

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I'm so sad for that little guy and for your sister

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as well. But those of us who are writers or even

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not writers can appreciate a little young guy

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putting on a helmet, trying to protect himself

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from the emotional blow that he's suffered already.

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And he is not looking for another blow. I mean,

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it's a perfect metaphor for what little kids

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go through. And it's like, I wish hockey helmets

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would keep them from having to suffer like that.

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Yeah. Yeah. I mean, and I'm sure that I not consciously

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realized any of that when I bought it, but, you

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know, maybe subconsciously I did. That's incredible.

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I mean, I will never I tell you this from the

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heart. I will never look at a hockey helmet the

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same way again. Definitely. Yeah, it resonates

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with me. I don't know. I don't know your particular

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experience. I my folks did not divorce, but I

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wrote a book many years ago called blows to the

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head and it was about 15 shots that I took to

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the head. So. and some were emotional, some physical,

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and we've all taken some shots. You basically

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are telling us a story of a blow to the head

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for sure. Randy, how do you think that that event

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has impacted you as an adult? Well, I did not

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learn how to play hockey. But I think more than

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anything, I learned from that about empathy.

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I learned that I wasn't the only one that was

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hurting. I saw probably for the first time that

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my sister was hurting. And I also probably saw

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for the first time that my parents were also

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hurting. And in another way, I also saw how a

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small act can make a big difference. And my sister

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and I, we didn't need, she didn't need that doll.

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I didn't need that hockey helmet. you know, for

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any reason other than for comfort level. But

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what we needed more than anything was to know

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that we're still loved. And that's what my mom

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was showing us. And that's what I learned from

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that. And that's what I hope that I've brought

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on to my family, my son, and really just about

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anybody that I deal with. I think I learned pretty

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much who I was at that point. Wow. Well, Again,

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I'm so sorry that you had to endure that. I know

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you're a successful attorney and a successful

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writer. And again, you actually said you used

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that painful story in your writing. And it's

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in a book, you said, right? What's the name of

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the book? It's called Storytellers, True Stories

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About Love. It just came out. A local publisher

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put it together. Fantastic. I'll have to take

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a look at it. Well, I want to thank you for being

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on the show, Randy, and opening up yourself to

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this. I mean, I know that you're a writer. So

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the idea with that is somebody said, Tolstoy

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or somebody said, writing is easy. You just sit

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down and open up a vein. And that's what you've

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done for us and for the listeners and obviously

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for your readers. So thank you for that. Well,

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thank you. I appreciate you having me on. It

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was fun to I actually like going back and reliving

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my past and thinking about it and looking about

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looking at how it has affected me. And that's

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why I like the idea of your podcast. Thank you.

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All right. Well, that's Randy Richardson. I'd

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like to thank Randy for coming on the show. I'd

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like to thank our sponsor, Sidelining Publishing,

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publishers of quality books. And I'd like to

00:12:54.559 --> 00:12:58.139
thank laughsaver .com. Visit laughsaver .com

00:12:58.139 --> 00:13:00.759
and record your laughter. We'll keep it for you

00:13:00.759 --> 00:13:03.259
now and forever. It's free, and your family will

00:13:03.259 --> 00:13:05.679
appreciate it. All right, so I'm going to end

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this show, as I often do, with Susan Salador's

00:13:10.340 --> 00:13:14.639
classic, The Boo Boo Blues. So until next time,

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this is Jay Rehak asking you all to please stay

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safe out there and try not to hurt anybody. you

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Let mama fix it for you.