WEBVTT 00:00:08.059 --> 00:00:33.280 I've had some Hi, and welcome back to Tell Me 00:00:33.280 --> 00:00:35.399 What Happened, the podcast that features folks 00:00:35.399 --> 00:00:38.759 from all walks of life telling us one formative 00:00:38.759 --> 00:00:42.100 story from their childhood. I'm your host, Jay 00:00:42.100 --> 00:00:46.299 Rehack, and like you, I've had my share of childhood 00:00:46.299 --> 00:00:49.500 experiences, some of them happy ones, some of 00:00:49.500 --> 00:00:52.640 them really sort of painful. But I'd like to 00:00:52.640 --> 00:00:54.539 think that everything that's ever happened to 00:00:54.539 --> 00:00:57.979 me has helped make me who I am today. Tell Me 00:00:57.979 --> 00:01:01.240 What Happened is sponsored by Sidelining Publishing, 00:01:01.479 --> 00:01:03.820 publishers of quality books, including Susan 00:01:03.820 --> 00:01:06.900 Saldar's classic, One Little Act of Kindness, 00:01:07.120 --> 00:01:09.620 available on Amazon .com or wherever quality 00:01:09.620 --> 00:01:12.439 books are sold. Tell Me What Happened is also 00:01:12.439 --> 00:01:16.180 sponsored by LaughSaver .com. Visit LaughSaver 00:01:16.180 --> 00:01:19.319 .com and record your laughter. We'll keep it 00:01:19.319 --> 00:01:23.579 for you, now and forever. It's free and your 00:01:23.579 --> 00:01:27.140 children and your grandchildren and your great 00:01:27.140 --> 00:01:30.200 grandchildren will appreciate it. That's laughsaber 00:01:30.200 --> 00:01:35.560 .com. All right. So today I have as my guest, 00:01:36.340 --> 00:01:38.739 another one of my daughter's good friends and 00:01:38.739 --> 00:01:41.260 a friend of mine, someone who I've seen perform 00:01:41.260 --> 00:01:44.500 on numerous stages in Chicago, including Logan 00:01:44.500 --> 00:01:48.780 Square and at Second City, Kennedy Baldwin. Hi. 00:01:49.680 --> 00:01:52.560 Hi, Kennedy. Listen, let me ask you something. 00:01:52.659 --> 00:01:55.159 Are you ready to tell your story? I'm absolutely 00:01:55.159 --> 00:01:57.579 ready to tell my story. I'm looking forward to 00:01:57.579 --> 00:01:59.000 hearing you, Kennedy. What I'm going to do in 00:01:59.000 --> 00:02:02.159 a minute is I'm going to let you take over. And 00:02:02.159 --> 00:02:03.959 when you're finished, I'm going to ask you absolutely 00:02:03.959 --> 00:02:07.000 one question. How do you think that one childhood 00:02:07.000 --> 00:02:10.699 story impacted who you are today? So take it 00:02:10.699 --> 00:02:14.860 away, Kennedy. All right. Thank you. Yeah. So 00:02:14.860 --> 00:02:17.300 when I was in high school, I went to Whitney 00:02:17.300 --> 00:02:20.460 Young, as you may be familiar with. Freshman 00:02:20.460 --> 00:02:24.629 year, I tried out for the dance team. and I did 00:02:24.629 --> 00:02:28.590 not make it sort of build spectacularly. And 00:02:28.590 --> 00:02:31.770 around the same time that I was trying out for 00:02:31.770 --> 00:02:35.430 the dance team, we also had Jim swimming. So 00:02:35.430 --> 00:02:37.889 we were, you know, it was this section of swimming 00:02:37.889 --> 00:02:39.610 for I think like a month where we had to be in 00:02:39.610 --> 00:02:43.509 the pool every day. And I... I remember this 00:02:43.509 --> 00:02:46.310 one day very specifically because I was walking 00:02:46.310 --> 00:02:48.449 out of gym swimming with my two friends Deja 00:02:48.449 --> 00:02:51.830 and Lene who both were on dance teams. My friend 00:02:51.830 --> 00:02:54.090 Lene was on the palms team and my friend Deja 00:02:54.090 --> 00:02:58.969 was on guys and dolls. And when we were walking 00:02:58.969 --> 00:03:02.729 out Deja and Lene were saying that also it's 00:03:02.729 --> 00:03:04.569 important to say that Deja and Lene are both 00:03:04.569 --> 00:03:07.750 black women. When we were walking out of gym 00:03:07.750 --> 00:03:11.870 swimming. Lene was like, this is so frustrating 00:03:11.870 --> 00:03:15.729 because my hair keeps getting messed up from 00:03:15.729 --> 00:03:17.289 having to go in the pool in the middle of the 00:03:17.289 --> 00:03:21.129 day. And Deja was like, yes, like this is super 00:03:21.129 --> 00:03:23.409 frustrating. Like I don't know how to manage 00:03:23.409 --> 00:03:26.830 it, all this stuff. And I, I'm also a black woman 00:03:26.830 --> 00:03:32.289 and I was like, yeah, like this sucks. And both 00:03:32.289 --> 00:03:34.650 of them like paused and like looked at me and 00:03:34.650 --> 00:03:38.210 they were like, you don't. That's not, no, like 00:03:38.210 --> 00:03:41.650 you don't understand what we're saying. And I 00:03:41.650 --> 00:03:45.270 was like, uh, what? And they had just like, there 00:03:45.270 --> 00:03:47.770 was like such like a, like a dead arrow. We both 00:03:47.770 --> 00:03:50.189 were like, both parties were like, what is the 00:03:50.189 --> 00:03:52.729 other person saying right now? When they specifically 00:03:52.729 --> 00:03:55.289 was like, well, you're not, you're not really 00:03:55.289 --> 00:03:57.330 black. You're more like, like you're Puerto Rican. 00:03:57.370 --> 00:03:59.729 Like your mom is Puerto Rican. My mom, my mom 00:03:59.729 --> 00:04:03.270 is Puerto Rican and my dad is black. And that 00:04:03.270 --> 00:04:06.439 has given me a different hair texture. than the 00:04:06.439 --> 00:04:10.819 two of them. And so I understand now that they 00:04:10.819 --> 00:04:13.560 were trying to make the point that my hair texture 00:04:13.560 --> 00:04:15.939 was a little different than theirs and I'm certain 00:04:15.939 --> 00:04:19.500 that we had different problems with our hair 00:04:19.500 --> 00:04:22.939 in terms of gym swimming but the way they communicated 00:04:22.939 --> 00:04:26.180 that in this moment was that I was not black 00:04:26.180 --> 00:04:30.459 and this was the first time that anybody had 00:04:30.459 --> 00:04:33.269 said this to me. I had no idea that like these 00:04:33.269 --> 00:04:35.189 two people who were very good friends of mine 00:04:35.189 --> 00:04:37.550 saw me that way. And it was really taken aback. 00:04:37.769 --> 00:04:40.310 And it like, I bring up, you know, that we had 00:04:40.310 --> 00:04:43.149 just auditioned for the dance team because the 00:04:43.149 --> 00:04:45.389 two of them made it and I did not, but what I 00:04:45.389 --> 00:04:50.170 did make in fact was the water polo team. If 00:04:50.170 --> 00:04:53.410 there is the stereotype that black people can't 00:04:53.410 --> 00:04:56.759 swim, mostly because. Black people live in areas 00:04:56.759 --> 00:04:59.899 where there aren't like community pools. So they 00:04:59.899 --> 00:05:01.800 they just don't have access to being able to 00:05:01.800 --> 00:05:04.879 swim as much. And like this happened to be true, 00:05:04.939 --> 00:05:07.060 like Deja and Lene, like when we were in gym 00:05:07.060 --> 00:05:09.360 swimming, they were in the shallow and learning 00:05:09.360 --> 00:05:12.480 how to swim. And I have swum my whole life. I 00:05:12.480 --> 00:05:15.819 was in the deep end. The swim coach noticed that 00:05:15.819 --> 00:05:17.860 I was a very good swimmer. And that day was like, 00:05:17.959 --> 00:05:20.740 you need to come to water polo practice. I want 00:05:20.740 --> 00:05:24.490 you on the water polo team. So like I. I've just 00:05:24.490 --> 00:05:26.850 been told I'm not black and I've been put on 00:05:26.850 --> 00:05:31.430 the water polo team. It's very confusing. It's 00:05:31.430 --> 00:05:35.370 very confusing. Yeah. And that's my story. I 00:05:35.370 --> 00:05:38.629 mean, I love that story in the sense of the, 00:05:38.910 --> 00:05:41.250 like, what are you talking about moment? You 00:05:41.250 --> 00:05:43.930 know, that idea that you didn't really quite 00:05:43.930 --> 00:05:45.790 understand what they were saying. It hurts me 00:05:45.790 --> 00:05:49.110 to think that friends would somehow misinterpret 00:05:49.110 --> 00:05:52.319 and misunderstand. I actually, I think I know 00:05:52.319 --> 00:05:53.980 the two young ladies that you're talking about 00:05:53.980 --> 00:05:57.459 because I taught Lene and Deja back in the day. 00:05:58.060 --> 00:06:00.100 Because I was at Whitney Young with you, as you 00:06:00.100 --> 00:06:03.720 know. And I know them to be really kind human 00:06:03.720 --> 00:06:07.879 beings, etc. But I can understand sort of the 00:06:07.879 --> 00:06:10.160 dual whammy that you're talking about of the 00:06:10.160 --> 00:06:12.860 idea that friends that you have been hanging 00:06:12.860 --> 00:06:17.279 out with suddenly, they don't, what, acknowledge 00:06:17.279 --> 00:06:20.350 your... your background or who you are. I'm not 00:06:20.350 --> 00:06:25.230 sure exactly. And then secondly, that interesting 00:06:25.230 --> 00:06:28.449 duality of being in the swimming pool and being 00:06:28.449 --> 00:06:32.389 a competent swimmer and somehow the stereotype 00:06:32.389 --> 00:06:36.050 or whatever. That must have been an amazing, 00:06:36.050 --> 00:06:38.589 amazing day. Can I just ask you before you tell 00:06:38.589 --> 00:06:41.069 me how it's impacted your life? Did you stay 00:06:41.069 --> 00:06:44.269 friends with Lene and Deja subsequently or did 00:06:44.269 --> 00:06:49.079 it become an issue for you? No, we became we 00:06:49.079 --> 00:06:51.399 were still friends Deja I was definitely closer 00:06:51.399 --> 00:06:53.600 with Deja like throughout high school like it 00:06:53.600 --> 00:06:56.959 didn't I sort of like in that moment I was like 00:06:56.959 --> 00:06:59.779 Well, if both of them agree there must be some 00:06:59.779 --> 00:07:02.800 truth to what they're saying Maybe I'm wrong. 00:07:02.819 --> 00:07:05.079 I don't know what I'm talking about and I was 00:07:05.079 --> 00:07:08.319 sort of quiet I just like didn't talk about My 00:07:08.319 --> 00:07:10.300 identity around them anymore, but we were still 00:07:10.300 --> 00:07:12.779 friends Wow, I mean really what you're talking 00:07:12.779 --> 00:07:16.230 about is so profound and so deep that I I can't 00:07:16.230 --> 00:07:21.449 even. It's beyond me to say anything except for 00:07:21.449 --> 00:07:23.009 a while, so I'm just going to leave it at that. 00:07:23.550 --> 00:07:28.389 But let me ask you, how do you think that event, 00:07:28.589 --> 00:07:32.149 that moment, those moments impacted who you are 00:07:32.149 --> 00:07:36.290 today? Yeah, so I think it definitely like started 00:07:36.290 --> 00:07:39.790 a journey of reckoning with my identity and what 00:07:39.790 --> 00:07:43.110 it meant to me and sent me on the path of like 00:07:43.110 --> 00:07:47.589 learning about what being Black is. because my 00:07:47.589 --> 00:07:51.610 mother is Afro -Latina and my dad is black. So 00:07:51.610 --> 00:07:54.129 even if my dad was not black, even if my dad 00:07:54.129 --> 00:07:56.029 was white, I would still be black because my 00:07:56.029 --> 00:07:59.310 mother is Afro -Latina, which is not something 00:07:59.310 --> 00:08:01.370 that they understood, nor was it something that 00:08:01.370 --> 00:08:04.490 I understood. And I remember when I was a kid, 00:08:04.509 --> 00:08:06.930 my mother was saying like, we are black. And 00:08:06.930 --> 00:08:08.649 I kind of just didn't know what she was talking 00:08:08.649 --> 00:08:10.230 about. I kind of was like, I think that I know 00:08:10.230 --> 00:08:12.829 I'm black because my dad's black, but I don't 00:08:12.829 --> 00:08:14.730 understand how this side of my family is black. 00:08:15.429 --> 00:08:19.250 And after they said that to me, I told my mom 00:08:19.250 --> 00:08:24.670 and she explained, you know, how so many Latinos 00:08:24.670 --> 00:08:29.670 are in fact black and like how there's like racism 00:08:29.670 --> 00:08:32.309 in the Latino community in this in a way that's 00:08:32.309 --> 00:08:36.470 like truly insane to me because so many Latinos 00:08:36.470 --> 00:08:39.110 are black and so many Latinos are racist. It's 00:08:39.110 --> 00:08:43.179 such a confused thing. situation. And so there's 00:08:43.179 --> 00:08:46.539 that reconcile. And then there's also being black 00:08:46.539 --> 00:08:49.559 and being African American are not necessarily 00:08:49.559 --> 00:08:53.559 the same thing. Black is a race and African American 00:08:53.559 --> 00:08:57.679 is an ethnicity. And like, it took explaining 00:08:57.679 --> 00:08:59.759 all of this during all of my research talking 00:08:59.759 --> 00:09:03.679 to all of my family to like understand exactly 00:09:04.159 --> 00:09:06.840 where my identities intersect, what this makes 00:09:06.840 --> 00:09:09.659 me, and essentially just to realize that Deja 00:09:09.659 --> 00:09:15.360 and Lene were wrong. Yeah, and it's been like, 00:09:15.399 --> 00:09:18.820 to this day, I think I still have some insecurity 00:09:18.820 --> 00:09:23.279 about it because even if that's something I know, 00:09:23.419 --> 00:09:25.899 even if I know I'm black and I can say that, 00:09:26.059 --> 00:09:28.519 I recognize that not everyone perceives me that 00:09:28.519 --> 00:09:30.899 way. And it comes from both sides, white people. 00:09:31.200 --> 00:09:33.600 don't always perceive me as Latina and Black 00:09:33.600 --> 00:09:35.860 people don't always perceive me as Black, which 00:09:35.860 --> 00:09:41.059 is like a weird place to be. And so that has 00:09:41.059 --> 00:09:44.240 definitely fostered insecurity and like where 00:09:44.240 --> 00:09:47.200 in these communities do I belong? And it's made 00:09:47.200 --> 00:09:52.200 me very passionate about learning about myself 00:09:52.200 --> 00:09:55.500 because the more I know about myself, the more 00:09:55.500 --> 00:09:58.059 I know about my family, the more confident I 00:09:58.059 --> 00:10:02.320 can be. in whatever spaces I choose to occupy, 00:10:02.360 --> 00:10:04.700 because I'm certain. And it's like the reason 00:10:04.700 --> 00:10:07.559 that I am, I'm hell bent on learning Spanish. 00:10:08.220 --> 00:10:11.200 My mom didn't really, she didn't teach it to 00:10:11.200 --> 00:10:13.279 me and my mom's family also speaks it, but since 00:10:13.279 --> 00:10:15.240 my dad didn't speak Spanish, it wasn't like spoken 00:10:15.240 --> 00:10:17.960 in my household. And so like I took, I took Spanish 00:10:17.960 --> 00:10:20.840 all through high school and up until now I still 00:10:20.840 --> 00:10:22.860 have like a Spanish tutor because I really want 00:10:22.860 --> 00:10:26.799 to gain fluency. That's a huge like cultural 00:10:26.799 --> 00:10:29.710 touchstone. being able to share language. That 00:10:29.710 --> 00:10:32.970 experience has made me like, I never want somebody 00:10:32.970 --> 00:10:36.769 to be able to tell me about myself and me think 00:10:36.769 --> 00:10:39.389 that they're right, you know, or like be unsure 00:10:39.389 --> 00:10:43.549 about whether or not they're right. Yeah, that 00:10:43.549 --> 00:10:46.809 makes perfect sense to me. Again, I'm sort of 00:10:46.809 --> 00:10:49.470 sorry you went through that experience. I don't 00:10:49.470 --> 00:10:52.590 know it on a personal level to the depth that 00:10:52.590 --> 00:10:55.710 you've experienced. I've had DNA tests where 00:10:55.710 --> 00:10:58.549 I discovered a little bit more about my background 00:10:58.549 --> 00:11:02.789 than I ever thought. But nothing where a friend 00:11:02.789 --> 00:11:04.830 came up to me and said, you're not something. 00:11:05.049 --> 00:11:07.789 I'd be like, I don't even know. I don't even 00:11:07.789 --> 00:11:10.789 know how to even answer those questions if somebody 00:11:10.789 --> 00:11:15.230 came up to me and challenged me for my background. 00:11:15.549 --> 00:11:18.509 But it's a very powerful story that you tell. 00:11:18.730 --> 00:11:21.210 I'm sorry to say that others may have experienced 00:11:21.210 --> 00:11:23.309 what you've experienced. Not exactly, of course, 00:11:23.850 --> 00:11:28.250 but similar instances. And it's unfortunate. 00:11:28.529 --> 00:11:31.409 But if it led you onto a journey of even deeper 00:11:31.409 --> 00:11:34.549 self -discovery and deeper self -understanding 00:11:34.549 --> 00:11:37.509 of who you are, then as painful as that story 00:11:37.509 --> 00:11:40.690 is and as that experience was. it turns out to 00:11:40.690 --> 00:11:42.669 be a good thing because I think the more we kind 00:11:42.669 --> 00:11:46.409 of know about ourselves, the more hopefully powerful 00:11:46.409 --> 00:11:49.870 we feel. That's my goal with everybody I've ever 00:11:49.870 --> 00:11:52.889 met was to make them feel more powerful and not 00:11:52.889 --> 00:11:56.110 less secure. Yeah, I don't know what they were, 00:11:56.269 --> 00:11:57.850 what Deja and Lanay were thinking about when 00:11:57.850 --> 00:11:59.590 they're telling you about your hair or whatever 00:11:59.590 --> 00:12:02.950 else. But to be fair, like I also did not know, 00:12:03.129 --> 00:12:04.730 I did not know what I was talking about. And 00:12:04.730 --> 00:12:09.029 like we were We were 14. Everybody was just kind 00:12:09.029 --> 00:12:13.889 of saying shit at that time. And they didn't 00:12:13.889 --> 00:12:15.690 know they were going to spark an entire identity 00:12:15.690 --> 00:12:21.950 crisis for the rest of my life. Well, my hope 00:12:21.950 --> 00:12:25.230 is that they listen to this podcast, and then 00:12:25.230 --> 00:12:27.950 they text you and say, sorry about that from 00:12:27.950 --> 00:12:32.389 back in the day. Well, thank you for your story. 00:12:32.600 --> 00:12:35.320 Again, very powerful, Kennedy. I really, really 00:12:35.320 --> 00:12:37.580 appreciate it. Appreciate you coming on this 00:12:37.580 --> 00:12:41.539 show. Thank you for having me on. Your story 00:12:41.539 --> 00:12:43.720 is one of the reasons I do this podcast, because 00:12:43.720 --> 00:12:48.460 I'm always moved by childhood experiences that 00:12:48.460 --> 00:12:51.559 I say to myself, I didn't exactly experience 00:12:51.559 --> 00:12:55.440 this, but I understand it to an extent. And then 00:12:55.440 --> 00:12:58.320 I think somebody out there in the listening audience 00:12:58.320 --> 00:13:01.600 goes, I know a lot of what she's talking about. 00:13:01.860 --> 00:13:04.620 Nobody knows everything for sure. Exactly. Nothing's 00:13:04.620 --> 00:13:07.399 exact, but I'm just saying they can identify. 00:13:08.039 --> 00:13:09.919 And you probably help them understand themselves 00:13:09.919 --> 00:13:12.019 a little bit. So thank you for being on the show. 00:13:12.820 --> 00:13:15.000 Yeah, thank you for having me. Thanks so much. 00:13:15.860 --> 00:13:17.340 Well, all right. That's our show. I'd like to 00:13:17.340 --> 00:13:19.820 thank my guest, Kennedy Baldwin, former Whitney 00:13:19.820 --> 00:13:22.600 Young student. I never actually had her, but 00:13:22.600 --> 00:13:26.159 I knew her back in the day. And I'd also like 00:13:26.159 --> 00:13:29.080 to thank our sponsors. Sideline Ink Publishing, 00:13:29.220 --> 00:13:32.639 publishers of quality books, and laughsaver .com. 00:13:32.679 --> 00:13:35.000 Visit laughsaver .com and record your laughter. 00:13:35.080 --> 00:13:38.059 We'll keep it for you now and forever. It's free 00:13:38.059 --> 00:13:41.179 and your family will appreciate it. All right, 00:13:41.179 --> 00:13:45.100 I'm gonna end this show as I often do with Susan 00:13:45.100 --> 00:13:49.580 Salador's classic Boo Boo Blues. So until next 00:13:49.580 --> 00:13:53.379 time, this is Jay Rehack asking you all to please 00:13:53.379 --> 00:13:56.279 stay safe out there and try not to hurt anybody. 00:16:54.700 --> 00:16:55.879 fixing it for you.