WEBVTT

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I've had some boo -boo back to Tell Me What Happened,

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the podcast that features folks from all walks

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of life telling us one childhood story that impacted

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who they are today. I'm your host, Jay Rehack,

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and like you, I've had my share of childhood

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experiences, some of them pretty wonderful and

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some of them pretty painful. But I'd like to

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think that everything that happened to me as

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a child has impacted who I am today and hopefully

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made me better for it. Tell Me What Happened

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is sponsored by LaughSaver .com. Visit LaughSaver

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.com and record your laughter. We'll keep it

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for you now and forever. It's free and your children

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and your grandchildren and your great -grandchildren

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will thank you for it. Tell Me What Happened

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is also sponsored by Sideline Ink Publishing,

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publishers of quality books, including Susan

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Salador's classic, One Little Act of Kindness.

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available on Amazon .com and wherever quality

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books are sold. All right, today I have as my

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guest, Anna Munson Carpenter. Anna's an old friend

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of mine whom I met through my daughter. Both

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of them attended McAllister College up in Minnesota

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and they both played volleyball together. Anna

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is currently an ICU nurse up in Minneapolis and

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she's also a former perfectionist. Welcome to

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the show, Anna. Hi, Jay. Thanks. Thanks for having

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me. Appreciate it. All right. Are you ready to

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tell your story, Anna? Yeah, sure. Let's get

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into it. All right. I'm going to get out of the

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way. And at the end, I'm going to ask you one

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question, Anna. And that is, how do you think

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that story has impacted who you are today? But

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take it away, Anna. OK. So my story, I guess,

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starts when I was six or seven years old. I started

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to play the viola. For those that don't know

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the violas, a smaller cello or a bigger violin

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is how I would describe it to people. And I also

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played sports and joined a bunch of clubs and

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really was involved in a lot of things growing

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up. And when I got to high school, I was still

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playing my viola and I made the chamber orchestra

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as a freshman. And it was a really big deal.

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My middle school instructor was really proud

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of me. And I ended up becoming the first chair

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of the orchestra. So in other parts of my life,

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playing sports, giving speeches, I have no fear,

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no stage fright, nothing. I could thrive under

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pressure or, you know, want to score the winning

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point of a game. I could give a speech to 5000

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people or 10 people didn't matter. But when I

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played the viola, no matter how much I prepared,

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I would freeze up when I had a solo. And when

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I was a freshman, I was in the solo ensemble.

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Everyone in the conference or in the district

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had to do a solo if you were in orchestra. And

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my teacher goes to start the piano to start the

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song and I completely freeze. She has to restart

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my whole family's watching mind you. And I start

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again. About two bars in I completely stop again.

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Now I'm shaking basically and my teacher's looking

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at me like what are you doing? What is happening?

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And she's a very very serious teacher so I know

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she's mad at me and then she starts again and

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for the third time I make it one bar in and I

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just start bawling my eyes out. I couldn't do

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it. So then I stopped that solo. They didn't

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make me finish. Thankfully, I very much appreciate

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that that day from that teacher. And this became

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a theme throughout my high school orchestra experience.

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I was our first year viola. And if you're not

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familiar with orchestra etiquette, when you're

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the first chair of your section, if a solo comes

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up in the middle of a piece, you are responsible

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to play it. Well, my first time that had to happen

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during an ensemble, in the middle of the concert,

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I just didn't play it. And the four bars went

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by and then the orchestra just continued. And

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everyone's looking at me in the orchestra, my

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friends, like, what are you doing? What happened?

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And I just thought it was a one -off and then

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it happened again. And it was the weirdest. thing

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but I, so my story is essentially that I couldn't

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play solos as a violist and it was the first

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time in my life that being really prepared for

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something or practicing something all the time

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didn't pay off. It didn't matter and I was such

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a perfectionist as Jay had mentioned in my life

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but that also came with preparation. I knew I

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could get it the way I needed it to be if I prepared

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and it just wasn't going to happen. So after

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not being able to do the solos for three years

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now. I can't count how many solos I failed to

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do in the middle of performances. My senior year

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teacher finally said, you know what, Anna, this

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year, why don't you just skip solo ensemble?

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You don't have to do it. It's fine. You don't

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have to do the solos anymore. And I was so incredibly

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relieved. So yeah, I think that is my the end

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of the story. Well, I know you're talking about

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a little bit the notion of freezing up or whatever,

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or the hesitancy. Do you feel like, I mean, have

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you played music since then? No, I haven't played

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much. I tried to play about a year ago to take

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lessons from someone and get back into it, maybe

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join a community orchestra. And it was from a

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person who played in Europe, and she was very,

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very, very good. And she did not. think I knew

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what I was doing at all. I came in as an adult

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learner with basic skills because I didn't know

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how to read music and use the instrument. And

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she was like, no, no, no, no, no. You must start

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over. We must start from scratch. So I really

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haven't played much since that. So how do you

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think that experience in high school impacted

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who you are today? Yeah. So I think as someone

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who is a self -proclaimed perfectionist who always

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wanted sort of the limelight or to be the person

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to score the last point or give the big speech

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or be the leader of a group. It was the first

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time that it was better if I didn't. And I was

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really OK with that. And it was the first time

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I felt comfortable giving it up and letting other

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people play the solo and still enjoying being

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a part of the orchestra as a whole. And I knew

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that I was really good at what I did with the

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team, like with the orchestra, and that I was

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important to that. And I had accepted that and

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actually was at peace with it, where I had never

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found piece with stepping back and letting someone

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else who's better at something do it over myself.

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So I think that was a really important lesson

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to learn. Now as a nurse, even, you know, it's

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a team effort, health care is, and sometimes

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there's people who are better at, you know, placing

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IVs or, you know, doing certain skills, or they

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just have more experience and maybe I'll get

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to where they are at one day. it's okay, I'm

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happy to let them do it. I know it's better for

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them and I know I can help in other ways. That's

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just as important, but just a little different.

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And I don't think of the orchestra as a team,

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like orchestras aren't called teams very often.

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They're called ensembles or gosh, I don't even

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know. But to me, it's just that team mentality.

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Same with sports, same with work, same with community.

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It's like we all need to work together and we

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all can play our role. And I personally am okay

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with whatever role I. I love it, man. I'm telling

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you, that's wisdom. They came to you at, I think,

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a relatively young age. I mean, if you're into

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that after the experience of deciding you didn't

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need to do the solos. I mean, I think it's hard

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sometimes to give that up at the same time to

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say, it's okay. I'm still great at what I do.

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It's just the solos aren't necessarily my thing.

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Whatever it is, but that's great. Well, I'm...

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I'm impressed. I wish I could play viola or any

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real instrument. But listen, I want to thank

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you for being on the show. Your insights sort

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of stirred up in me some of my own feelings of,

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you know, times when I froze up and I shouldn't

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have or whatever it did, but you get over it.

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But thank you for being on the show, Anna Monson

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Carpenter. Thank you, Jay. All right. Well, that's

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our show. I'd like to thank my guest, Anna Monson

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Carpenter. former perfectionist and current ICU

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nurse. I'd also like to thank our sponsors. And

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I'm going to end this show a little differently,

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sort of in honor of Anna. I'm going to end with

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Susan Salador's classic, The Boo Boo Blues. So

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until next time, this is Jay Reac asking you

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all to stay safe out there and try not to hurt

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anybody. I've had some boo boo. That's a mighty

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bad Let mama fix it for you