WEBVTT 00:00:06.580 --> 00:00:12.599 One little act of kindness can go a long, long 00:00:12.599 --> 00:00:18.539 way Two little acts of kindness can brighten 00:00:18.539 --> 00:00:24.879 anyone's day Three little acts of kindness can 00:00:24.879 --> 00:00:37.520 make a beautiful sound Many acts of... Hi, and 00:00:37.520 --> 00:00:40.640 welcome back to Tell Me What Happened, the podcast 00:00:40.640 --> 00:00:44.020 that features people from all walks of life talking 00:00:44.020 --> 00:00:47.479 about childhood experiences and how those experiences 00:00:47.479 --> 00:00:50.380 have impacted them as an adult. I'm your host, 00:00:50.920 --> 00:00:54.799 Jay Rehack, and like you, I've had my share of 00:00:54.799 --> 00:00:58.119 childhood good times and traumas. I'd like to 00:00:58.119 --> 00:01:00.350 think that All of the events of my childhood 00:01:00.350 --> 00:01:02.850 have made me a better person, but I know they 00:01:02.850 --> 00:01:06.090 certainly have impacted who I am today. Tell 00:01:06.090 --> 00:01:09.750 Me What Happened is sponsored by Sideline Ink 00:01:09.750 --> 00:01:13.030 Publishing, publishers of quality books, including 00:01:13.030 --> 00:01:16.689 Susan Salador's classic One Little Act of Kindness, 00:01:16.870 --> 00:01:19.450 which is also a song and available on Spotify. 00:01:20.049 --> 00:01:23.390 Tell Me What Happened is also sponsored by LaughSaver 00:01:23.390 --> 00:01:27.530 .com. Visit LaughSaver .com and record your laughter. 00:01:27.689 --> 00:01:31.730 We'll keep it for you now and forever. It's free 00:01:31.730 --> 00:01:34.629 and your children and your grandchildren and 00:01:34.629 --> 00:01:36.730 your great -grandchildren and your great -great 00:01:36.730 --> 00:01:39.049 -grandchildren will thank you for it. That's 00:01:39.049 --> 00:01:42.390 laughsaver .com. Go make a recording of your 00:01:42.390 --> 00:01:47.030 laughter today. All right, well today I have 00:01:47.030 --> 00:01:50.069 as my guest a good friend of mine, actually a 00:01:50.069 --> 00:01:53.129 family friend, a man I've known really his entire 00:01:53.129 --> 00:01:56.719 life, almost from the day he was born. I did 00:01:56.719 --> 00:01:58.780 actually know him on the day he was born. Our 00:01:58.780 --> 00:02:03.219 friend, my friend, great guy, Eli Boyer. Are 00:02:03.219 --> 00:02:06.140 you ready to tell your story? Yeah, absolutely. 00:02:06.579 --> 00:02:08.740 All right, Eli, I'm going to stop talking. You're 00:02:08.740 --> 00:02:10.699 going to take over and we'll talk to you in a 00:02:10.699 --> 00:02:14.219 few minutes. OK, sounds good. So, you know, you 00:02:14.219 --> 00:02:16.860 asked me this to come onto the show, I don't 00:02:16.860 --> 00:02:19.159 know, a week or so ago, but so I've been thinking 00:02:19.159 --> 00:02:21.340 a little bit about it. And, you know, there certainly 00:02:21.340 --> 00:02:24.349 is. A single story, I guess, you know, it's obviously 00:02:24.349 --> 00:02:26.889 as many stories do, it spans over, you know, 00:02:26.969 --> 00:02:28.729 a certain amount of time, but there's certainly 00:02:28.729 --> 00:02:32.110 one story in my life that has had a profound 00:02:32.110 --> 00:02:35.110 impact on me and the trajectory of my life and, 00:02:35.289 --> 00:02:37.310 and many of the relationships in my life as well. 00:02:37.590 --> 00:02:39.629 So it sort of starts back in high school. You 00:02:39.629 --> 00:02:41.729 know, I was an athlete. I think, you know, that 00:02:41.729 --> 00:02:44.870 I was played baseball in high school and really 00:02:44.870 --> 00:02:49.050 identified myself as an athlete and During my 00:02:49.050 --> 00:02:52.710 junior year, I came across some struggles as 00:02:52.710 --> 00:02:55.849 many teenagers do in terms of, hey, I'm not playing 00:02:55.849 --> 00:02:57.550 enough. I don't know what I need to do to get 00:02:57.550 --> 00:02:59.569 on the field and that sort of thing. And I ended 00:02:59.569 --> 00:03:02.509 up quitting baseball. And so to me at that point, 00:03:02.610 --> 00:03:05.930 it was really just a loss of identity. And for 00:03:05.930 --> 00:03:09.629 a 17 -year -old kid who's developing an identity 00:03:09.629 --> 00:03:11.550 and developing a sense of self, that that was 00:03:11.550 --> 00:03:15.469 a real challenge for me. And I admit that I fell 00:03:15.469 --> 00:03:19.389 into a pretty heavy depression. misbehaving, 00:03:19.449 --> 00:03:22.650 you know, in terms of smoking weed, drinking, 00:03:23.050 --> 00:03:25.389 doing dumb stuff like that, and, you know, not 00:03:25.389 --> 00:03:29.370 doing great in school. And I think that my attitude 00:03:29.370 --> 00:03:34.810 towards the people closest to me, family in particular, 00:03:34.990 --> 00:03:37.389 and even more so my parents in particular, those 00:03:37.389 --> 00:03:39.870 relationships became very strained. I think that 00:03:39.870 --> 00:03:42.409 I, you know, I manifested my depression through, 00:03:42.409 --> 00:03:45.759 you know, anger and lashing out and... and sort 00:03:45.759 --> 00:03:49.159 of just trying to skirt my way around facing 00:03:49.159 --> 00:03:51.520 what I was dealing with. I was in therapy and 00:03:51.520 --> 00:03:54.340 I had been in therapy for some time, starting 00:03:54.340 --> 00:03:57.039 therapy as a young child, dealing with different 00:03:57.039 --> 00:04:01.419 types of things, anger, jealousy, whatever. As 00:04:01.419 --> 00:04:04.599 a middle child, we're riddled with lots of things 00:04:04.599 --> 00:04:08.099 that we need to address in therapy. So I was 00:04:08.099 --> 00:04:13.139 in therapy and my therapist suggested to me that 00:04:13.139 --> 00:04:16.920 I... consider this leadership or wilderness therapy 00:04:16.920 --> 00:04:18.959 program, you know, which was up in Minnesota 00:04:18.959 --> 00:04:21.899 and 17 year old kid. I said, I don't want to 00:04:21.899 --> 00:04:23.759 spend my summer like that. Get out of here. Like 00:04:23.759 --> 00:04:27.160 I got girls and I got a job. I got to screw around. 00:04:27.180 --> 00:04:29.060 You got to do dumb stuff. Like, come on. I don't 00:04:29.060 --> 00:04:31.019 want to waste my summer like that. You know, 00:04:31.019 --> 00:04:33.040 I sort of left it at that. And at that point, 00:04:33.100 --> 00:04:36.240 I guess I thought that it was maybe my decision, 00:04:36.240 --> 00:04:38.930 but It was something that sort of was in the 00:04:38.930 --> 00:04:41.370 back of my mind. A few months later, my parents, 00:04:41.490 --> 00:04:44.329 as we got closer to summer, my parents, you know, 00:04:44.449 --> 00:04:47.509 brought it back up. And, you know, and I sensed 00:04:47.509 --> 00:04:50.290 that it was, it seemed a little bit less like 00:04:50.290 --> 00:04:52.569 a, you know, a suggestion at that point in time, 00:04:52.569 --> 00:04:54.970 a little bit more like a, you're going to go 00:04:54.970 --> 00:04:58.290 to this thing. And I of course put up my fight, 00:04:58.290 --> 00:05:02.149 you know, refused. I actually even went out to 00:05:02.149 --> 00:05:04.850 the suburbs. My, one of my best friends from 00:05:04.850 --> 00:05:07.110 grade school was living out in the suburbs. And 00:05:07.110 --> 00:05:08.889 I thought, hey, I'm just going to hide out there 00:05:08.889 --> 00:05:11.290 until they promise me that I don't have to do 00:05:11.290 --> 00:05:13.870 this thing. So they ended up saying, like, you're 00:05:13.870 --> 00:05:15.569 going to come back. And I think I had to come 00:05:15.569 --> 00:05:20.430 back for a work shift anyway. And so it was the 00:05:20.430 --> 00:05:24.110 day before Father's Day. I was working my shift 00:05:24.110 --> 00:05:26.850 at that ice cream shop. I think it was called 00:05:26.850 --> 00:05:29.329 Sweet Occasions. I think it's long gone by now. 00:05:29.589 --> 00:05:32.790 But I came home about one o 'clock in the morning. 00:05:32.949 --> 00:05:37.180 I had closed up the shop. My mom was up waiting 00:05:37.180 --> 00:05:39.379 for me, and I did think that that was a little 00:05:39.379 --> 00:05:41.379 strange. I remember thinking, like, why was she 00:05:41.379 --> 00:05:44.160 waiting for me? As parents tend to do, I was 00:05:44.160 --> 00:05:45.439 just waiting for you to make sure you're home 00:05:45.439 --> 00:05:47.319 safe. I didn't think too much about it. Then 00:05:47.319 --> 00:05:49.720 as I went upstairs and found, you know, neither 00:05:49.720 --> 00:05:52.259 of my brothers were there, I continued to think, 00:05:52.319 --> 00:05:55.779 hey, something's going on. But, you know, I said 00:05:55.779 --> 00:05:57.639 whatever and, you know, went into my room that 00:05:57.639 --> 00:06:00.939 was covered with, I don't know, you ever went 00:06:00.939 --> 00:06:04.259 into my room when I was in high school? pictures, 00:06:04.300 --> 00:06:06.220 sports. I'd cut out every single Sports Illustrated 00:06:06.220 --> 00:06:08.819 picture, you know, imaginable. And it was like 00:06:08.819 --> 00:06:11.459 wallpaper and ceiling paper. You couldn't, it 00:06:11.459 --> 00:06:14.860 was the, it was the artwork of a, of a kid going 00:06:14.860 --> 00:06:17.360 through some stuff for sure. So, you know, I 00:06:17.360 --> 00:06:20.160 got into bed and about three or four hours later, 00:06:20.279 --> 00:06:22.060 it was probably like four 30 in the morning, 00:06:22.379 --> 00:06:28.040 my dad woke me up and he said, Eli, you're, you're 00:06:28.040 --> 00:06:31.269 going today. You're going to this program. He 00:06:31.269 --> 00:06:34.810 woke me up and said this to me and I sort of 00:06:34.810 --> 00:06:37.069 brushed him off. I said, look out of here. What 00:06:37.069 --> 00:06:39.329 do you think? You're just gonna make me go like, 00:06:39.449 --> 00:06:42.810 get out of here. And he said, I love you and 00:06:42.810 --> 00:06:47.370 I hope this works. And he touched my back and 00:06:47.370 --> 00:06:52.089 left the room. At that point, there were two 00:06:52.089 --> 00:06:56.230 large gentlemen that came into my room and they 00:06:56.230 --> 00:06:59.329 picked me up pretty aggressively in teenage. 00:06:59.860 --> 00:07:03.100 boxers and t -shirt, whatever, and dragged me 00:07:03.100 --> 00:07:06.120 out to the car that they had and threw me in 00:07:06.120 --> 00:07:08.459 the back seat. You know, at this point, you know, 00:07:08.540 --> 00:07:11.060 the tears, I'm like, UJ, I can't stop crying. 00:07:11.139 --> 00:07:13.399 I just keep going. I keep going. So my mom and 00:07:13.399 --> 00:07:16.959 dad had had vacated. They weren't there. You 00:07:16.959 --> 00:07:20.500 know, so I, I just had, I got into this car and, 00:07:20.500 --> 00:07:23.459 you know, drove, I guess it was like seven hours 00:07:23.459 --> 00:07:27.939 and they took me up to, uh, Minnesota and I was 00:07:27.939 --> 00:07:31.819 crying, I'd say probably 85 % of the way. My 00:07:31.819 --> 00:07:34.740 mom being the loving mother that she is had packed 00:07:34.740 --> 00:07:36.839 a, she had packed a cooler with all my favorite 00:07:36.839 --> 00:07:39.259 snacks. I had like Arnie Palmer's, she had baked 00:07:39.259 --> 00:07:43.279 pumpkin bread, Swedish fish. So, you know, I 00:07:43.279 --> 00:07:45.600 think the first, you know, five, six hours I 00:07:45.600 --> 00:07:47.240 refused to touch it because I was so angry. But 00:07:47.240 --> 00:07:48.920 then I was like, oh man, that's my favorite shit. 00:07:49.000 --> 00:07:51.980 I got to get after it. So I, you know, I got 00:07:51.980 --> 00:07:56.329 to the hotel. this program was supposed to start 00:07:56.329 --> 00:08:00.370 the next day. And they allowed me to make one 00:08:00.370 --> 00:08:02.949 call and it couldn't be to my parents. And so 00:08:02.949 --> 00:08:05.850 I called my grandmother, my mom, I called my 00:08:05.850 --> 00:08:10.009 mom, my mom's mom. And I said to her, why is 00:08:10.009 --> 00:08:12.930 this happening? I don't want to do this and come 00:08:12.930 --> 00:08:15.990 and get me and all this sort of stuff. And she 00:08:15.990 --> 00:08:18.029 just, she promised me that it would be okay. 00:08:18.790 --> 00:08:23.110 And she sang me the, I see the moon song that 00:08:22.910 --> 00:08:26.490 I have tattooed on my back. And, you know, I 00:08:26.490 --> 00:08:29.329 think at that point, I sort of had accepted, 00:08:29.329 --> 00:08:32.409 you know, the reality that this was going to 00:08:32.409 --> 00:08:36.169 happen. And, you know, so the way it was set 00:08:36.169 --> 00:08:39.470 up is I, you know, when my dad left the room 00:08:39.470 --> 00:08:42.929 that day, I was not to have any communication, 00:08:43.190 --> 00:08:46.750 verbal communication with my folks for seven 00:08:46.750 --> 00:08:50.690 and a half weeks while I was exploring the boundary 00:08:50.690 --> 00:08:54.730 waters of Minnesota. and immersing myself in 00:08:54.730 --> 00:08:59.230 this therapy program. I was with several other 00:08:59.230 --> 00:09:03.590 young guys, everybody sort of dealing with different 00:09:03.590 --> 00:09:07.850 types of challenges. As this program progressed, 00:09:08.649 --> 00:09:10.730 I got to know some of these guys and was one 00:09:10.730 --> 00:09:13.330 of the older ones and certainly one of the ones 00:09:13.330 --> 00:09:17.840 who having been a guy in sports. I happily stepped 00:09:17.840 --> 00:09:19.980 into like a leadership role and was always very 00:09:19.980 --> 00:09:22.759 excited about, you know, the camping and hiking 00:09:22.759 --> 00:09:24.779 and canoeing. That stuff was great. You know, 00:09:24.820 --> 00:09:28.480 the therapy program itself was, it wasn't, you 00:09:28.480 --> 00:09:30.399 know, great, to be honest with you. I mean, even 00:09:30.399 --> 00:09:33.500 in retrospect, 13 years later, I think about 00:09:33.500 --> 00:09:36.059 that program and some of the things that the 00:09:36.059 --> 00:09:37.940 therapists that would come in, you know, every 00:09:37.940 --> 00:09:40.120 couple of days, you know, had us doing that. 00:09:40.159 --> 00:09:43.179 I don't know if that was really all that effective, 00:09:43.179 --> 00:09:45.929 but I'll sort of wrap up the story before we 00:09:45.929 --> 00:09:48.149 can kind of get into the next part. But the hardest 00:09:48.149 --> 00:09:51.230 thing for me in that, you know, that entire experience 00:09:51.230 --> 00:09:55.029 was I left on Father's Day. To me, that was just, 00:09:55.029 --> 00:09:58.269 you know, the hardest thing because that was 00:09:58.269 --> 00:10:01.409 a day in which you're supposed to celebrate with 00:10:01.409 --> 00:10:04.110 your father. And yet it got to the point where 00:10:04.110 --> 00:10:06.470 our relationship was so strained that, you know, 00:10:06.470 --> 00:10:09.350 he had to send me. to the middle of nowhere, 00:10:09.389 --> 00:10:12.370 Minnesota, to sort of sort my shit out a little 00:10:12.370 --> 00:10:15.570 bit. So I went through that program and I remember 00:10:15.570 --> 00:10:19.389 the last day, and certainly there was a lot of 00:10:19.389 --> 00:10:23.009 tears along the way, but the last day, we actually, 00:10:23.350 --> 00:10:25.750 right before the last day, we had what was called 00:10:25.750 --> 00:10:29.070 a solo trip. They sent us out into the woods 00:10:29.070 --> 00:10:32.169 by ourselves for three days. They would periodically 00:10:32.169 --> 00:10:34.470 come check on you, but you had your own little 00:10:34.470 --> 00:10:37.090 campsite. and you know they gave you parameters 00:10:37.090 --> 00:10:39.669 and you couldn't leave and it was it was pretty 00:10:39.669 --> 00:10:42.809 intense and so you know we get to that last day 00:10:42.809 --> 00:10:44.730 and it's sort of like it's like one of those 00:10:44.730 --> 00:10:46.710 like reality shows like there's the big reveal 00:10:46.710 --> 00:10:48.710 like the parents and the kid coming together 00:10:48.710 --> 00:10:53.070 and you know and i i like broke down like really 00:10:53.070 --> 00:10:58.610 broke down uh just in in joy in in happiness 00:10:58.610 --> 00:11:01.190 and sorrow and i mean like just you know i'm 00:11:01.190 --> 00:11:04.100 an emotional guy and this was One of the most 00:11:04.100 --> 00:11:07.440 emotional times of my life was seeing my parents 00:11:07.440 --> 00:11:10.200 after seven and a half weeks, having not seen 00:11:10.200 --> 00:11:13.740 their faces or heard their voices. It was quite 00:11:13.740 --> 00:11:16.700 emotional. So that's the story, essentially. 00:11:16.860 --> 00:11:19.279 I mean, of course, there's a lot of intimate 00:11:19.279 --> 00:11:23.320 detail that we don't necessarily need to go into. 00:11:23.919 --> 00:11:27.500 But it was a pretty difficult time. And that 00:11:27.500 --> 00:11:30.679 was a challenging thing to do, to face the reality 00:11:30.679 --> 00:11:33.159 that that's where I was in my life. you know 00:11:33.159 --> 00:11:36.940 it had gotten to that point so that's uh that's 00:11:36.940 --> 00:11:39.120 my uh that's the summer after my junior year 00:11:39.120 --> 00:11:42.399 a little different than most but you know oh 00:11:42.399 --> 00:11:47.159 my god i remember it because i was i am tight 00:11:47.159 --> 00:11:51.159 with your family and yeah and uh i i must have 00:11:51.159 --> 00:11:53.340 blacked it out that it was father's day but my 00:11:53.340 --> 00:11:55.379 father's day has never been the same thinking 00:11:55.379 --> 00:11:57.279 about what you guys have been through and the 00:11:57.279 --> 00:11:59.279 courage that your whole family and everything 00:11:59.279 --> 00:12:02.490 and And I appreciate you telling me this story 00:12:02.490 --> 00:12:04.590 because I think it does, I think it helps a lot 00:12:04.590 --> 00:12:06.169 of other people who actually will hear this. 00:12:06.330 --> 00:12:09.110 But I got to ask you, because now you're 30 years 00:12:09.110 --> 00:12:11.529 old and you're, you know, highly successful. 00:12:11.529 --> 00:12:14.590 And, you know, I know at least as far as I can 00:12:14.590 --> 00:12:16.190 tell, you're tight with your mother and your 00:12:16.190 --> 00:12:20.629 father now. So how has it impacted your life, 00:12:20.710 --> 00:12:24.649 would you say, that that particular moment? Yeah, 00:12:24.649 --> 00:12:27.529 for sure. So I point to that as, you know, the 00:12:27.529 --> 00:12:31.100 biggest sort of as I said early on, the change 00:12:31.100 --> 00:12:34.940 of trajectory in my life. I don't know where 00:12:34.940 --> 00:12:36.860 I would have been. I mean, I was always a very 00:12:36.860 --> 00:12:40.899 smart kid, but I was not a hard worker. I sort 00:12:40.899 --> 00:12:44.240 of breezed through high school with charming 00:12:44.240 --> 00:12:47.919 teachers and skating by and relying simply on 00:12:47.919 --> 00:12:51.000 just whatever intelligence I had in my head as 00:12:51.000 --> 00:12:53.720 opposed to putting my best before. You know, 00:12:53.759 --> 00:12:55.659 one of the one of I'd say there's really two 00:12:55.659 --> 00:12:58.960 things that I would say in terms of a broader 00:12:58.960 --> 00:13:01.879 impact that have been long lasting. And, you 00:13:01.879 --> 00:13:05.299 know, one is is sort of that work ethic. I realized 00:13:05.299 --> 00:13:09.799 that I was just basically wasting time in my 00:13:09.799 --> 00:13:12.659 life and like whatever was in my head. As you 00:13:12.659 --> 00:13:14.779 know, I come from a family of very intelligent 00:13:14.779 --> 00:13:17.899 people, very academically inclined, very successful 00:13:17.899 --> 00:13:22.279 people in very different ways. And. you know, 00:13:22.320 --> 00:13:25.059 I had always felt like I was different, but I 00:13:25.059 --> 00:13:27.399 was only different because I wasn't, I wasn't 00:13:27.399 --> 00:13:30.220 applying myself. And I think that feeling of 00:13:30.220 --> 00:13:32.940 being different than the people that you love 00:13:32.940 --> 00:13:36.179 most. And it's not, you know, it's okay to be 00:13:36.179 --> 00:13:37.980 different. Don't get me wrong. Like, you know, 00:13:38.000 --> 00:13:41.100 I, we're all very different in our own ways and 00:13:41.100 --> 00:13:43.820 that's a beautiful thing. But it sort of, it 00:13:43.820 --> 00:13:46.000 was a gift that my parents gave me that just 00:13:46.000 --> 00:13:49.039 wasn't music, right? Just this ability to put 00:13:49.039 --> 00:13:51.940 my best foot forward, to be a hard worker, to 00:13:51.940 --> 00:13:54.159 be engaging with people and to be engaging with 00:13:54.159 --> 00:13:55.700 learning and things like that. But that was a 00:13:55.700 --> 00:13:58.240 big takeaway. And certainly, you know, when I 00:13:58.240 --> 00:14:01.100 went to college, I completely committed myself 00:14:01.100 --> 00:14:04.879 to being the best student that I could be. skipped 00:14:04.879 --> 00:14:07.200 many classes in high school. I didn't skip a 00:14:07.200 --> 00:14:09.779 single class in college. I was really devoted 00:14:09.779 --> 00:14:13.159 to my studies and that sort of thing. So that's 00:14:13.159 --> 00:14:16.500 definitely one thing that I point to that time 00:14:16.500 --> 00:14:19.860 as being the catalyst for setting me on that 00:14:19.860 --> 00:14:22.539 course. But I think even bigger than that is 00:14:22.539 --> 00:14:27.539 just my family. I say that that program and the 00:14:27.539 --> 00:14:29.860 specifics of the therapeutic aspects of that 00:14:29.860 --> 00:14:32.509 program. I don't necessarily think were that 00:14:32.509 --> 00:14:34.509 effective. I learned a lot of I mean, I went 00:14:34.509 --> 00:14:37.009 on to get a degree in psychology and adolescent 00:14:37.009 --> 00:14:39.850 psychology nonetheless. So, you know, I feel 00:14:39.850 --> 00:14:42.990 like I understand that a lot. But I wouldn't 00:14:42.990 --> 00:14:45.289 say that the program, though, wasn't effective 00:14:45.289 --> 00:14:48.049 because it was it was effective. And and for 00:14:48.049 --> 00:14:50.690 me, it was actually pretty simple. It took me 00:14:50.690 --> 00:14:55.149 out of my home and and took me away from the 00:14:55.149 --> 00:14:57.570 relationships that that were most important to 00:14:57.570 --> 00:14:59.710 me, but that had been strained due to this depression. 00:14:59.710 --> 00:15:03.159 And And I just realized it didn't take me very 00:15:03.159 --> 00:15:04.820 long to realize how much I missed everybody, 00:15:04.980 --> 00:15:08.240 how much I valued my relationships with my parents, 00:15:08.240 --> 00:15:11.860 you know, not just as being parents, but as that, 00:15:12.059 --> 00:15:14.279 you know, them as individuals, they're like having 00:15:14.279 --> 00:15:16.659 those types of people as your parents and you're 00:15:16.659 --> 00:15:18.179 doing like, and you're treating them that like 00:15:18.179 --> 00:15:20.919 that. It just made no sense, you know? And so 00:15:20.919 --> 00:15:23.580 I think that it just, it allowed me to take a 00:15:23.580 --> 00:15:27.320 step back and sort of reorient my, you know, 00:15:27.519 --> 00:15:30.549 myself. I think, you know, well as anybody that 00:15:30.549 --> 00:15:34.929 I'm a family man, I, I would probably take us 00:15:34.929 --> 00:15:37.629 girls and you guys sitting in the backyard over 00:15:37.629 --> 00:15:39.509 just about anything. You know, that's just like, 00:15:39.509 --> 00:15:42.669 that's my happy place. And I think that if I 00:15:42.669 --> 00:15:45.190 hadn't gone through that, if I hadn't gone through 00:15:45.190 --> 00:15:48.250 that experience that I don't know, I don't know 00:15:48.250 --> 00:15:50.110 if that would, that would be my happy place. 00:15:50.110 --> 00:15:52.429 I don't know if I would have ever been sort of 00:15:52.429 --> 00:15:54.789 pulled out of those depths. And so, you know, 00:15:54.789 --> 00:15:58.120 I mean, I, I remember, you know, we I did communicate 00:15:58.120 --> 00:16:00.019 with my parents, but it was always via letters. 00:16:00.379 --> 00:16:03.240 And in those early letters, I was so angry. I 00:16:03.240 --> 00:16:06.679 was defensive and blaming and all these different 00:16:06.679 --> 00:16:10.899 things. And before I began to realize that they 00:16:10.899 --> 00:16:14.019 were the ones that were saving me. They saved 00:16:14.019 --> 00:16:19.200 me by sending me to this place. And how hard 00:16:19.200 --> 00:16:22.299 that must have been for them and you and Susan 00:16:22.299 --> 00:16:25.320 and my brothers and Hope and Hannah. My parents 00:16:25.320 --> 00:16:28.120 only told two of my friends and my family that 00:16:28.120 --> 00:16:29.960 what was happening. Everybody else, I got all 00:16:29.960 --> 00:16:32.360 these text messages. People thought I was dead. 00:16:33.899 --> 00:16:37.139 I came back to 300 text messages. People just 00:16:37.139 --> 00:16:39.620 be like, where are you? What's going on? But 00:16:39.620 --> 00:16:43.200 yeah, I just really think that it sort of brought 00:16:43.200 --> 00:16:47.240 me back to center. sort of helped me rediscover 00:16:47.240 --> 00:16:51.139 my heart a little bit, you know, and my identity. 00:16:51.399 --> 00:16:54.039 I mean, my identity as an athlete was gone, but 00:16:54.039 --> 00:16:58.299 I sort of found my identity as a Boyer, as a 00:16:58.299 --> 00:17:01.559 Beal, as Eli Boyer in this family. And certainly, 00:17:01.700 --> 00:17:04.420 look, there have been bumps along the road. Of 00:17:04.420 --> 00:17:06.319 course, like since then, you know, we've had 00:17:06.319 --> 00:17:08.859 a lot of things we've worked through, but I always 00:17:08.859 --> 00:17:11.079 have that to come back to. I always have the 00:17:11.079 --> 00:17:14.279 fact that I have incredible parents incredible 00:17:14.279 --> 00:17:17.400 brothers, I have incredible uncles, you know, 00:17:17.440 --> 00:17:19.740 I call you an uncle, I call Susan an aunt, and 00:17:19.740 --> 00:17:22.920 I'm beyond grateful for that. And so it was it 00:17:22.920 --> 00:17:25.359 was, as I said, it was pretty, pretty impactful. 00:17:26.400 --> 00:17:31.680 That's all incredibly. I just can't stop thinking 00:17:31.680 --> 00:17:34.319 about, honestly, for years, I've actually, I've 00:17:34.319 --> 00:17:37.019 always thought about the courage of all of you. 00:17:37.140 --> 00:17:39.059 I mean, your mother and your father, particularly, 00:17:39.200 --> 00:17:41.440 you know, what it took for them and your mother 00:17:41.440 --> 00:17:44.099 and your dad, because they're so tight with you 00:17:44.099 --> 00:17:46.099 and they just wanted the best. They want the 00:17:46.099 --> 00:17:48.180 best for all their kids, of course, obviously, 00:17:48.259 --> 00:17:50.839 and everything. And it's sort of a, it's a really 00:17:50.839 --> 00:17:53.980 sad story that ends pretty well, because I know 00:17:53.980 --> 00:17:56.559 that you are tight with you folks. And I know 00:17:56.559 --> 00:17:58.660 that you're very tight with your brothers still 00:17:58.660 --> 00:18:01.039 and the whole family and their community. You 00:18:01.039 --> 00:18:03.500 do have a larger community than that. You've 00:18:03.500 --> 00:18:05.980 always been one of those guys who I think builds 00:18:05.980 --> 00:18:08.539 his family. Your friends are I know are really 00:18:08.539 --> 00:18:10.480 important to you as well. You have you have some 00:18:10.480 --> 00:18:13.339 very, very good friends who endured different 00:18:13.339 --> 00:18:15.200 things and you're able to help them with what 00:18:15.200 --> 00:18:17.119 they with some of what they go through. I know 00:18:17.119 --> 00:18:20.240 you're very generous in that respect. And anyway, 00:18:20.240 --> 00:18:22.579 I really appreciate you telling me the story. 00:18:23.160 --> 00:18:27.690 I'm sorry. I know it's one of those stories that 00:18:27.690 --> 00:18:29.750 might even hit a nerve for you. You probably 00:18:29.750 --> 00:18:32.730 have your own memories from that day, but certainly 00:18:32.730 --> 00:18:36.190 it's a powerful one and I think one that not 00:18:36.190 --> 00:18:39.009 just brought me closer to my parents, but it 00:18:39.009 --> 00:18:40.710 brought all of us closer together. I mean, we 00:18:40.710 --> 00:18:44.549 all went through it. It wasn't just me. We all 00:18:44.549 --> 00:18:47.529 went through it. So I have a pretty profound 00:18:47.529 --> 00:18:50.809 appreciation for that too. Well, thank you, Eli, 00:18:50.869 --> 00:18:54.210 for telling us that story. Absolutely. Thank 00:18:54.210 --> 00:18:56.210 you for having me on. Yeah, it's an honor to 00:18:56.210 --> 00:18:58.390 have you on because, you know, like I said, I've 00:18:58.390 --> 00:19:02.130 known you for so long and to be honest with you, 00:19:02.390 --> 00:19:05.910 when we talked about it, I was thinking about 00:19:05.910 --> 00:19:08.369 that story. I was like, there's nothing more. 00:19:08.910 --> 00:19:11.430 No, you knew a story. I kind of knew that. I 00:19:11.430 --> 00:19:13.930 go, if he goes there, you don't have to go there, 00:19:14.049 --> 00:19:16.269 you know, on this. No, I mean, I don't know if 00:19:16.269 --> 00:19:18.329 you remember, but I ended up writing sort of 00:19:18.329 --> 00:19:21.960 that short play. Yeah. by senior year that was 00:19:21.960 --> 00:19:27.339 performed in front of our entire school. That 00:19:27.339 --> 00:19:29.680 was terrible. I feel like if I could get through 00:19:29.680 --> 00:19:33.720 that, man, I can tell a story to anybody. I mean, 00:19:34.099 --> 00:19:37.680 500 of my classmates watching me get my quote 00:19:37.680 --> 00:19:41.440 unquote had dumped. I had the Gatorade dumped 00:19:41.440 --> 00:19:48.440 on me. But yeah, I think part of what this podcast 00:19:49.049 --> 00:19:52.170 is about is sharing these stories to allow people 00:19:52.170 --> 00:19:54.809 to connect. You know, there's always some piece 00:19:54.809 --> 00:19:56.769 of a story, if not, you know, the whole thing 00:19:56.769 --> 00:19:58.869 that you can relate to. And you can pick a piece 00:19:58.869 --> 00:20:01.769 and say, I felt that I understand that. And, 00:20:02.009 --> 00:20:04.009 you know, and it's had that same impact on me. 00:20:04.009 --> 00:20:06.809 Or maybe you understand it and it hasn't yet 00:20:06.809 --> 00:20:09.130 had the impact. And maybe it will in the future. 00:20:09.849 --> 00:20:12.670 So like always, woo, this is the type of stuff 00:20:12.670 --> 00:20:15.490 that comes out of the out of the rehack households. 00:20:16.309 --> 00:20:21.369 Just true. and powerful, emotional, loving, all 00:20:21.369 --> 00:20:24.730 that good stuff. Oh, man, I'm exhausted. But 00:20:24.730 --> 00:20:27.130 thank you. I know, I know. And I want to keep 00:20:27.130 --> 00:20:30.089 talking. But as you know, I've got I got now 00:20:30.089 --> 00:20:32.190 I've got my father's birthday upstairs. So I 00:20:32.190 --> 00:20:35.509 do have to I do have to get out of here. Well, 00:20:35.509 --> 00:20:38.250 I love you. Thanks for being on the show. We'll 00:20:38.250 --> 00:20:41.150 talk later. See you tomorrow. See you tomorrow. 00:20:41.869 --> 00:20:44.250 Well, thank you, Eli, for being on the show. 00:20:44.650 --> 00:20:47.390 That's all we've got for you this week. I'd like 00:20:47.390 --> 00:20:50.869 to thank our sponsors, Sidelining Publishing, 00:20:51.190 --> 00:20:53.309 publishers of quality books, including Susan 00:20:53.309 --> 00:20:57.130 Salador's One Little Act of Kindness, and I've 00:20:57.130 --> 00:20:59.509 got peace in my fingers. I'd also like to thank 00:20:59.509 --> 00:21:03.869 laughsaver .com for supporting us. Visit laughsaver 00:21:03.869 --> 00:21:07.289 .com and record your laughter. We'll keep it 00:21:07.289 --> 00:21:11.329 for you now and forever. It's free and your children 00:21:11.329 --> 00:21:14.109 and your grandchildren and your great grandchildren 00:21:14.109 --> 00:21:18.019 will appreciate it. That's laughsaver .com. Go 00:21:18.019 --> 00:21:21.539 and record your laughter today. And of course, 00:21:21.559 --> 00:21:25.160 I'd like to thank the listeners as well. Now 00:21:25.160 --> 00:21:26.819 I'm going to end this show a little differently 00:21:26.819 --> 00:21:31.359 than what I usually do. Rather than use one of 00:21:31.359 --> 00:21:34.079 Susan Salazar's classic songs, what I'm going 00:21:34.079 --> 00:21:39.519 to do today is listen to Kathy Beal, Eli's grandmother, 00:21:40.980 --> 00:21:46.230 sing I See the Moon. So until next time, Be safe 00:21:46.230 --> 00:22:03.680 out there and try not to hurt anybody. see I 00:22:03.680 --> 00:22:07.920 look down from up above to see the one the one 00:22:07.920 --> 00:22:12.900 I love I see the one of all the rest and that 00:22:12.900 --> 00:22:18.099 is why I love you best I see the moon and the 00:22:18.099 --> 00:22:21.339 moon sees me and the moon sees somebody I want 00:22:21.339 --> 00:22:25.779 to see God bless the moon and God bless me and 00:22:25.779 --> 00:22:28.420 God blesses somebody I want to see