1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:14,640 Pull up a chair and tell me your memory Why does it matter to you? 2 00:00:14,640 --> 00:00:20,600 I want to hear your story, your point of view 3 00:00:20,600 --> 00:00:28,880 Tell me what happened to you 4 00:00:28,880 --> 00:00:34,480 Hi and welcome back to Tell Me What Happened, the podcast that features folks from all walks of life 5 00:00:34,480 --> 00:00:42,240 telling us one true childhood story and how that event, that experience has impacted who they are today 6 00:00:42,240 --> 00:00:50,640 I'm your host Jay Rehak and like all of you out there, I've had my share of childhood experiences that have impacted who I am today 7 00:00:50,640 --> 00:00:55,520 Some of them beautiful, some of them quite painful, a lot of them memorable 8 00:00:55,520 --> 00:01:00,720 but I'd like to think that everything that's ever happened to me has made me a better person 9 00:01:00,720 --> 00:01:05,360 Now that's not necessarily true but that's what I'd like to think 10 00:01:05,360 --> 00:01:14,000 Today I have as my guest a good friend of mine, a man I've known for I don't know I'm going to say almost 40 years 11 00:01:14,000 --> 00:01:21,760 I met him when I moved back to Chicago, I was living in New York at the time, I moved back to Chicago and I was looking for a few good people 12 00:01:21,760 --> 00:01:26,240 and I bumped into Reverend Bob Bossy 13 00:01:26,240 --> 00:01:32,000 Reverend Bossy is a priest of the Order of the Sacred Heart 14 00:01:32,000 --> 00:01:34,560 Welcome to the show, Bob Bossy 15 00:01:34,560 --> 00:01:38,320 Thank you Jay, it's a pleasure to be with you, it's an honor to be with you 16 00:01:38,320 --> 00:01:42,880 Well thanks a lot Bob, you and I go back pretty far actually 17 00:01:42,880 --> 00:01:46,960 I think you told me that we met at a protest or something if that's not true 18 00:01:46,960 --> 00:01:54,320 As a matter of fact you came up to me and said that Liz McAllister had told you to get in touch with the group 19 00:01:54,320 --> 00:01:58,880 and then about a week or two later you came with Susan 20 00:01:58,880 --> 00:02:04,720 and the very first thing she said to me was I'm Susan and we're in love 21 00:02:04,720 --> 00:02:05,520 Nice 22 00:02:05,520 --> 00:02:11,280 That was the very first word she said to me, so I said God these are cool people, I love them already 23 00:02:11,280 --> 00:02:18,320 So that was back in the mid-80s 24 00:02:18,320 --> 00:02:24,000 Wow, well I did marry Susan so it's worked out so far 25 00:02:24,000 --> 00:02:30,000 and I'm honored that Liz McAllister was the woman who introduced us in her way 26 00:02:30,000 --> 00:02:34,400 A great woman and I consider you a spiritual guide 27 00:02:34,400 --> 00:02:40,560 You actually may not remember this but you remarried me on my 10-year anniversary 28 00:02:40,560 --> 00:02:47,280 I'd been married by a rabbi the first time and I needed or wanted to reaffirm my vows 29 00:02:47,280 --> 00:02:50,480 and I did, my children were with me and my wife 30 00:02:51,920 --> 00:02:57,600 and you did the service for us and it was beautiful but that's not part of this story 31 00:02:58,160 --> 00:03:00,080 I'd like to actually get to your story 32 00:03:00,800 --> 00:03:03,360 So Bob are you ready to tell your story? 33 00:03:04,320 --> 00:03:05,120 I will try 34 00:03:05,120 --> 00:03:11,840 All right listen I'm going to mute myself, I'm going to just listen so you won't hear me reacting at all 35 00:03:12,640 --> 00:03:17,120 But when you're done we're going to ask you absolutely one question 36 00:03:17,120 --> 00:03:23,280 and that one question is this, how do you think what you told us has impacted who you are today 37 00:03:23,920 --> 00:03:26,800 but take it away, Bob Bossy 38 00:03:27,440 --> 00:03:30,800 This is Bob Bossy speaking to you from Franklin, Wisconsin 39 00:03:30,800 --> 00:03:34,720 A good friend of Jay and his wife Susan and their family 40 00:03:35,200 --> 00:03:41,120 I grew up in Boston, Massachusetts in a fairly religious family Catholic 41 00:03:41,840 --> 00:03:46,240 My mom I always thought was the spiritual core of the family 42 00:03:46,240 --> 00:03:52,160 She spoke about God and actually Mary, Jesus Mary and Joseph like they were real people 43 00:03:53,200 --> 00:03:58,720 and she knew them, it wasn't like a theoretical thing and I didn't think of that then 44 00:03:58,720 --> 00:04:03,920 But through the years I realized that that's a lot of where I got my 45 00:04:04,640 --> 00:04:10,080 inspiration and intuition about God and what life was about 46 00:04:10,960 --> 00:04:20,560 Your question to me was what is something that happened in my life at an early age 47 00:04:21,280 --> 00:04:25,920 that caused me to have that have an impact for the rest of my life 48 00:04:25,920 --> 00:04:32,560 And I, to be honest with you, the thing that I remember when you first asked me the question 49 00:04:33,280 --> 00:04:37,760 was the first thing that came to my mind was my awareness of God 50 00:04:38,960 --> 00:04:46,320 When I was a young boy there was a few moments in my life when I just knew God's presence 51 00:04:47,440 --> 00:04:52,240 and I knew that I loved God and wanted to be close to God 52 00:04:52,240 --> 00:04:56,480 And at one time it happened while I was singing this song 53 00:04:56,880 --> 00:05:01,120 A Holy Night to Myself and just realized that God was present 54 00:05:02,240 --> 00:05:07,280 Another time it happened when I was with my brother Dave who was an agnostic 55 00:05:08,320 --> 00:05:11,520 This is a little bit later in life and somehow I just said to him 56 00:05:12,080 --> 00:05:14,880 I don't know I just that God is always present 57 00:05:15,280 --> 00:05:17,520 I can I just know God is always present 58 00:05:17,520 --> 00:05:22,720 But what happened to Jay is that I thought that I should be a priest 59 00:05:22,960 --> 00:05:27,680 And I was going to sign up for a to go to high school in Boston 60 00:05:27,680 --> 00:05:30,640 at a place I think it was called Resurrection High School 61 00:05:30,640 --> 00:05:36,080 And it was in the other side of town and two things stopped me from doing so 62 00:05:36,800 --> 00:05:40,400 One was I didn't want to go that far away from home to go to school 63 00:05:40,400 --> 00:05:41,840 seemed like too much of a hassle 64 00:05:41,840 --> 00:05:46,000 And the second thing is that I didn't want to become a priest right away 65 00:05:46,000 --> 00:05:48,000 because I wanted to see the world 66 00:05:48,000 --> 00:05:51,280 I wanted to travel the world 67 00:05:51,280 --> 00:05:54,000 You don't know this but when I was young 68 00:05:54,000 --> 00:05:59,280 I had a very bad case of asthma and I almost died several times 69 00:05:59,280 --> 00:06:04,000 And I remember one time I was in bed for about three months with asthma 70 00:06:04,000 --> 00:06:08,720 And I remember looking outside at the kids who were playing 71 00:06:08,720 --> 00:06:11,040 and I was of course stuck in the hubs 72 00:06:11,040 --> 00:06:14,000 And I remember saying to my mother when I grow up 73 00:06:14,000 --> 00:06:16,000 I don't want to get married 74 00:06:16,000 --> 00:06:18,000 because I don't want my children to have this 75 00:06:18,000 --> 00:06:22,000 And I want to travel all over the world 76 00:06:22,000 --> 00:06:24,000 Little did I know that that would happen 77 00:06:24,000 --> 00:06:30,000 So I didn't join the priesthood at that time 78 00:06:30,000 --> 00:06:32,000 And I decided to become a vagabond if you will 79 00:06:32,000 --> 00:06:34,000 I get about 80 00:06:34,000 --> 00:06:38,000 So what happened is I started bouncing around the country and the world 81 00:06:38,000 --> 00:06:42,000 I went in the military, I was in Japan, Florida, New York 82 00:06:42,000 --> 00:06:46,000 I got out of there and I went to work for Bethlehem Steel 83 00:06:46,000 --> 00:06:50,000 building a nuclear powered ship 84 00:06:50,000 --> 00:06:52,000 And I went on the road at different jobs 85 00:06:52,000 --> 00:06:54,000 working for the military industrial complex 86 00:06:54,000 --> 00:07:02,000 I was into the borrow scene, motorcycles, sports cars, dating, engagements 87 00:07:02,000 --> 00:07:04,000 I was engaged at least once 88 00:07:04,000 --> 00:07:08,000 And I ended up one time with a friend 89 00:07:08,000 --> 00:07:12,000 I bumped around with a guy named Eric Stennis 90 00:07:12,000 --> 00:07:14,000 who was from Wayman's, Massachusetts 91 00:07:14,000 --> 00:07:18,000 We met and became friends up in a job in Vermont 92 00:07:18,000 --> 00:07:20,000 General Electric 93 00:07:20,000 --> 00:07:22,000 We both realized that we wanted to go on the road 94 00:07:22,000 --> 00:07:26,000 So we became traveling buddies 95 00:07:26,000 --> 00:07:28,000 and traveled around 96 00:07:28,000 --> 00:07:31,000 Anyplace we could get a job and still hang out 97 00:07:31,000 --> 00:07:33,000 He taught me to scuba dive 98 00:07:33,000 --> 00:07:36,000 So I became an avid scuba diver 99 00:07:36,000 --> 00:07:38,000 He and I were really close friends 100 00:07:38,000 --> 00:07:43,000 After work we would swim out past the breakers in the ocean 101 00:07:43,000 --> 00:07:45,000 and just gab for a while 102 00:07:45,000 --> 00:07:46,000 I don't know what we talked about 103 00:07:46,000 --> 00:07:48,000 People have asked me, what did you guys talk about? 104 00:07:48,000 --> 00:07:52,000 I have no idea, we were just good friends 105 00:07:52,000 --> 00:07:56,000 One time somebody said to him that they thought we were gay 106 00:07:56,000 --> 00:07:58,000 And I'm not ashamed of being gay 107 00:07:58,000 --> 00:08:00,000 But to be honest with you 108 00:08:00,000 --> 00:08:04,000 I never had any sexual attraction to Eric 109 00:08:04,000 --> 00:08:05,000 He was just a good friend 110 00:08:05,000 --> 00:08:11,000 But anyways, we bumped around and we ended up in Hollywood, California 111 00:08:11,000 --> 00:08:15,000 And believe it or not, Jay, this is the truth, I'm not making this up 112 00:08:15,000 --> 00:08:21,000 There were parties morning, noon, and night, seven days a week 113 00:08:21,000 --> 00:08:24,000 And the people at the parties I think were all looking to be discovered 114 00:08:24,000 --> 00:08:25,000 And they wouldn't talk to you 115 00:08:25,000 --> 00:08:30,000 unless you looked like some famous director, I suppose 116 00:08:30,000 --> 00:08:34,000 And after about two weeks of literally going to a party 117 00:08:34,000 --> 00:08:38,000 three times a day, I said to myself, this is ridiculous 118 00:08:38,000 --> 00:08:40,000 I'm not going to do this anymore 119 00:08:40,000 --> 00:08:43,000 As a matter of fact, I was lying on a couch in a friend's apartment 120 00:08:43,000 --> 00:08:45,000 in Hollywood, California 121 00:08:45,000 --> 00:08:50,000 And I made a decision that I was not going to get off the couch 122 00:08:50,000 --> 00:08:54,000 unless I could figure a reason to do so 123 00:08:54,000 --> 00:08:57,000 And I couldn't think of any reason to get off the couch 124 00:08:57,000 --> 00:09:02,000 And I said to myself, well, I just won't respond to anybody's attempt 125 00:09:02,000 --> 00:09:06,000 to break into my silence, I just won't respond 126 00:09:06,000 --> 00:09:12,000 And I said, well, what would keep you a want, make you a want to continue going on? 127 00:09:12,000 --> 00:09:13,000 And I couldn't think of anything 128 00:09:13,000 --> 00:09:17,000 And I said, well, I said, what about someone in your life? 129 00:09:17,000 --> 00:09:20,000 And I thought about different people, and then I thought of my mom 130 00:09:20,000 --> 00:09:23,000 And I said, I'm sorry, you're not good enough 131 00:09:23,000 --> 00:09:25,000 And then I thought of God 132 00:09:25,000 --> 00:09:28,000 And I remember saying, God, I'm sorry, you're not good enough 133 00:09:28,000 --> 00:09:33,000 But God, that I knew, and I was ready to give up when I said to myself 134 00:09:33,000 --> 00:09:36,000 Well, what about before you were born? 135 00:09:36,000 --> 00:09:40,000 And at that moment, I thought of my conception and got ready to cry now 136 00:09:40,000 --> 00:09:46,000 And at that very moment, I found myself immersed in God 137 00:09:46,000 --> 00:09:49,000 I heard the word God 138 00:09:49,000 --> 00:09:53,000 And at that moment, I was lost in God 139 00:09:53,000 --> 00:09:56,000 I didn't exist, only God existed 140 00:09:56,000 --> 00:10:01,000 I realized a few moments later that I was lovable 141 00:10:01,000 --> 00:10:05,000 And that everybody and everything else was lovable as well 142 00:10:05,000 --> 00:10:11,000 But they were in and of this God that I had met 143 00:10:11,000 --> 00:10:16,000 That they deserve, that I deserve love and respect 144 00:10:16,000 --> 00:10:18,000 And they did too 145 00:10:18,000 --> 00:10:21,000 And I remember saying to myself, I don't know why 146 00:10:21,000 --> 00:10:24,000 I said, you get out of life, what you put into it 147 00:10:24,000 --> 00:10:27,000 So I said, well, I want everything 148 00:10:27,000 --> 00:10:30,000 So I, that moment changed my life 149 00:10:30,000 --> 00:10:35,000 I remember being on the beach in Florida before this incident happened 150 00:10:35,000 --> 00:10:39,000 And I was, there was this young woman there beside me 151 00:10:39,000 --> 00:10:41,000 I think she really liked me 152 00:10:41,000 --> 00:10:44,000 And she was asking me about myself 153 00:10:44,000 --> 00:10:50,000 I remember saying to her, I'm looking for something 154 00:10:50,000 --> 00:10:52,000 I don't know what it is 155 00:10:52,000 --> 00:10:55,000 But if I find it, I'll know it 156 00:10:55,000 --> 00:10:57,000 So that's what happened 157 00:10:57,000 --> 00:11:02,000 And I didn't think about my desire to be a priest earlier in life 158 00:11:02,000 --> 00:11:05,000 As a matter of fact, I remember I was in a nightclub one night 159 00:11:05,000 --> 00:11:09,000 And there was dancing and everything going on 160 00:11:09,000 --> 00:11:14,000 And there was this really pretty woman that she and I were sort of connecting 161 00:11:14,000 --> 00:11:17,000 And she reminded me of a little genital abridged 162 00:11:17,000 --> 00:11:19,000 I don't know if you remember her 163 00:11:19,000 --> 00:11:21,000 She was quite attractive, I was quite flattered 164 00:11:21,000 --> 00:11:27,000 And I remember saying to myself, you know, you should really become a priest 165 00:11:27,000 --> 00:11:29,000 I remember saying to myself 166 00:11:29,000 --> 00:11:32,000 And I remember saying to myself, I'm not ready for that 167 00:11:32,000 --> 00:11:37,000 And so one thing led to another up to that experience in California 168 00:11:37,000 --> 00:11:40,000 And I changed my life 169 00:11:40,000 --> 00:11:45,000 I decided that I wanted to please the God of my life 170 00:11:45,000 --> 00:11:46,000 I wanted to 171 00:11:46,000 --> 00:11:50,000 It's like when you're found in a lot of you, you don't do it because you have to 172 00:11:50,000 --> 00:11:53,000 You don't care, you don't care because you have to 173 00:11:53,000 --> 00:11:55,000 You do it because you love them 174 00:11:55,000 --> 00:11:59,000 And you want to please them to make them happy 175 00:11:59,000 --> 00:12:03,000 And so that was my motive, what pushed me onward 176 00:12:03,000 --> 00:12:06,000 And I decided that I would become a priest 177 00:12:06,000 --> 00:12:11,000 But even though one of my, at this time there was two other guys were hanging around with a auto 178 00:12:11,000 --> 00:12:13,000 And I can't remember the other guys name 179 00:12:13,000 --> 00:12:16,000 But he said that he had just gone to a curseel 180 00:12:16,000 --> 00:12:19,000 Charlie, Charlie Carrot 181 00:12:19,000 --> 00:12:25,000 Charlie had just gone to a curseel, which is a Hispanic Catholic retreat 182 00:12:25,000 --> 00:12:30,000 And he said, Bob, you should go on the next one there with me 183 00:12:30,000 --> 00:12:35,000 And I said to him, Charlie, I said, I had an experience of God 184 00:12:35,000 --> 00:12:38,000 But I don't know if he's Catholic enough 185 00:12:38,000 --> 00:12:41,000 So I, because I wasn't ready to say I was Catholic 186 00:12:41,000 --> 00:12:49,000 But I heard in my mind that if you wanted to be a priest, you had to go to Mass every day 187 00:12:49,000 --> 00:12:52,000 So me and Eric, we were unemployed at the time 188 00:12:52,000 --> 00:12:56,000 So me and Eric headed back to Florida and got a job 189 00:12:56,000 --> 00:13:00,000 And I started going to Mass every day 190 00:13:00,000 --> 00:13:03,000 And it so happened, there was after Vatican II 191 00:13:03,000 --> 00:13:08,000 When things had changed a lot spiritually and, you know, in the church 192 00:13:08,000 --> 00:13:11,000 And I started going to Mass every day 193 00:13:11,000 --> 00:13:16,000 And I found myself, when I would listen to the priest 194 00:13:16,000 --> 00:13:20,000 In those days it was the priest, reading the scriptures 195 00:13:20,000 --> 00:13:28,000 I was sitting there with my jaw slack, because I realized that Jesus as God was my God 196 00:13:28,000 --> 00:13:34,000 And then I realized that I was a Christian, a Catholic Christian 197 00:13:34,000 --> 00:13:41,000 And so I tried to follow that lead and I wrote away to a bunch of religious orders 198 00:13:41,000 --> 00:13:43,000 To ask them if I could join 199 00:13:43,000 --> 00:13:48,000 And most of them wanted to come and visit me and spend six years getting to know me and everything 200 00:13:48,000 --> 00:13:54,000 So I got really discouraged and I just, I remember one of my friends, I forget his name 201 00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:59,000 He was going down to visit his girlfriend in Miami, we were all living in St. Petersburg 202 00:13:59,000 --> 00:14:03,000 And he was going to visit his girlfriend in Miami 203 00:14:03,000 --> 00:14:06,000 And I was laying in my bed and he said, what are you doing? 204 00:14:06,000 --> 00:14:10,000 I said, I'm really discouraged, can you get, no one wants me as a priest 205 00:14:10,000 --> 00:14:14,000 And he said, get your ass out of that bed and right to some other places 206 00:14:14,000 --> 00:14:17,000 Get your ass out of that bed 207 00:14:17,000 --> 00:14:22,000 So he left the room and I get up and I started writing to other congregations 208 00:14:22,000 --> 00:14:31,000 And I wrote to the one that I'm in now, which was catering at the time to so-called second career vocations 209 00:14:31,000 --> 00:14:36,000 And at that time I was 27, he's of age, I thought I was an old man 210 00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:40,000 So I wrote away to all these groups, they all wanted to come and visit me as they mentioned 211 00:14:40,000 --> 00:14:45,000 But this group here said, come ahead, come on up 212 00:14:45,000 --> 00:14:51,000 So I sold my car, I gave up my job and two weeks later I flew to Massachusetts at the seminary 213 00:14:51,000 --> 00:14:59,000 Little did I know that the spirituality of the community is based on 214 00:14:59,000 --> 00:15:04,000 Well, it's from the Psalms, it's, behold, I come to do you will of God 215 00:15:04,000 --> 00:15:11,000 And that's pretty much said, what was in my heart about pleasing God 216 00:15:11,000 --> 00:15:15,000 That I wanted to do God's will 217 00:15:15,000 --> 00:15:21,000 I might not have used those exact words, but that's what I wanted to do 218 00:15:21,000 --> 00:15:26,000 That was which I gave my life 219 00:15:26,000 --> 00:15:33,000 And so I did that and tried to keep going 220 00:15:33,000 --> 00:15:37,000 I say I'm still struggling on trying to be a good guy 221 00:15:37,000 --> 00:15:43,000 Alright, listen, I'm almost out of time on my Zoom, so I gotta just ask you one question 222 00:15:43,000 --> 00:15:51,000 Even though it's sort of self-evident, that decision when you're 27 and even before then and all those events 223 00:15:51,000 --> 00:15:56,000 I love the, even before you were born hearing the voice of God 224 00:15:56,000 --> 00:16:02,000 How do you think it's impacted your life? I mean, to a certain extent, you've been a priest for a little while now, so I assume 225 00:16:02,000 --> 00:16:04,000 How do you think it's impacted who you are today? 226 00:16:04,000 --> 00:16:11,000 Well, I became a priest because I wanted to tell people about God and how much they were loved 227 00:16:11,000 --> 00:16:14,000 Like I found God and felt love 228 00:16:14,000 --> 00:16:22,000 And so I was going to become a brother, if you will, because I just wanted to sort of hide in the woods and know God 229 00:16:22,000 --> 00:16:28,000 But I became a priest because I wanted to at least be able to preach a little bit and tell people about that 230 00:16:28,000 --> 00:16:33,000 And I had an experience in South America a few years later 231 00:16:33,000 --> 00:16:38,000 It helped me to turn to social justice activism 232 00:16:38,000 --> 00:16:42,000 It's a way of expressing God's presence in the world 233 00:16:42,000 --> 00:16:47,000 I don't want to take up too much of your time, I might keep track of the two minutes 234 00:16:47,000 --> 00:16:54,000 Yeah, well, last question for you, because I know you've been a social justice advocate, but I would say for at least 50 years 235 00:16:54,000 --> 00:17:01,000 I don't want to necessarily find out exactly how many years you've been a priest, but it's been, I'd say at least 50 probably, right? 236 00:17:01,000 --> 00:17:03,000 I was born in 1975 237 00:17:03,000 --> 00:17:04,000 Oh, 75, okay 238 00:17:04,000 --> 00:17:09,000 So last question for you, whatever happened to Eric, you know? 239 00:17:09,000 --> 00:17:16,000 Yeah, he got married, and a nice woman, I didn't know it, but he was an alcoholic 240 00:17:16,000 --> 00:17:20,000 We used to hit the bars all the time, I didn't think anything of it 241 00:17:20,000 --> 00:17:29,000 But one of our mutual friends, Joe Varga, who was a skydiver and circus performer, he told me, he called me up, he said, Eric's dying 242 00:17:29,000 --> 00:17:31,000 And I said, what? 243 00:17:31,000 --> 00:17:34,000 And he said, yeah, he says, an alcoholic, Bob 244 00:17:34,000 --> 00:17:39,000 I didn't even know, he said, Bob, he's been an alcoholic all his life 245 00:17:39,000 --> 00:17:52,000 So he died when he was about 60, 65, I mean, he was a really good friend, we hung around together, and as far as his alcoholism was, it didn't seem to influence our relationship 246 00:17:52,000 --> 00:17:57,000 Well, listen, Bob, I want to thank you, I got less than a minute before the Zoom locks me out 247 00:17:57,000 --> 00:18:06,000 Thank Bob Boase for being on the show, I appreciate his time, I appreciate the insights known you for many years, and the wild side I did not know 248 00:18:06,000 --> 00:18:16,000 And so now I know a little bit more about you, and I'm grateful that you did become a priest, because as I said, you were a mentor to me and to many, many thousands of people 249 00:18:16,000 --> 00:18:26,000 And I know your social justice work has helped the world, not necessarily healed it, but I guess maybe that's not why we're here, we're just here to love God and do the best we can, huh? 250 00:18:26,000 --> 00:18:28,000 Amen. 251 00:18:28,000 --> 00:18:50,000 Alright, well that's our show, thanks again to Reverend Bob Boase, until next time this is Jay Rieck asking you all to please stay safe out there, and do your best not to hurt anybody.