This podcast reports news as if it's from the video game Helldivers, but is not associated with the creators, and not affiliated with Arrowhead Game Studios in any way.
All characters, sounds and music are original to this podcast.
Good evening, citizens of Super. This is Joe Turner coming to you live from GNR 107. It's December 16th and we are on the brink of something far more dangerous than we ever anticipated.
The Galactic War has expanded. Not one, but two fronts have erupted. Genesis Prime is burning under the Illuminant's relentless assault. While Mog faces overwhelming pressure from the Illuminant war machine, but that's not the worst of it.
Scattered reports from Deep Space listening posts hint at another war front opening. Location unknown. The Illuminant seem determined to remind us why they were once feared across the galaxy. Their appearance paired with the rise of the automatons threatens Super Earth like never before.
Tonight, we'll break down the major orders, analyze our war front strategies, and hear frontline reports from the fiercest battles. Buckle up Helldivers, this fight is just getting started.
First, a victory we're celebrating. Yesterday our brave Helldivers repelled the Illuminant from Calypso. The Ministry of Truth confirms that their numbers were limited, likely survivors from the last Galactic War. However, their ability to stay hidden for over a century raises questions that demand answers.
But the fight isn't over. Genesis Prime and essential outer colony is under siege. CEE Command has issued a major order. Converge on Genesis Prime and ensure the Illuminant are eradicated for good. This is a chance to finish what began a century ago and remind the galaxy that no threat to Super Earth goes unanswered.
In addition, defense missions are active on Mog where Illuminant forces threaten key Super Earth assets. The directive is clear. Hold the line and eliminate these aggressors.
Koffreedom is brewed for the brave and served steaming with valour. As you face the morning's battles, let Koffreedom bring you joy every morning. The preferred beverage of all Helldivers and the proud sponsor of GNR 107.
The Cascades Coffee Blend delivers a rich and robust delight for your mornings. Packed in a 12 ounces bag, this medium dark roast boasts flavours of cocoa and toasted nut, offering a full bodied experience with each sip.
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Thanks, Joe. Today's tactical update focuses on key improvements to keep our Helldivers equipped and ready to face the Illuminant's unique challenges.
Field reports indicate Illuminant forces are using advanced cloaking tech and disruptive EMP pulses to weaken our defenses.
In response, R&D has fast tracked an upgrade to EMP resistant shielding for Helldiver suits, expected to deploy galaxy-wide by week's end.
Additionally, our stratagem systems now feature enhanced targeting protocols, reducing the delay between deployment and activation by nearly 20%.
We're also seeing the first deployments of a new military asset, the Fast Recon Vehicle, or FRV. These high speed combat transports are designed for urban warfare, built for speed and durability.
Helldivers can use the FRV to outmaneuver enemy ambushes or create fast breakouts through hostile zones. No driver's ed required, just hop in and hold on.
As the Illuminant press deeper into Super Earth's colonies, expect close quarters combat unlike anything we've seen before.
Urban war zones mean dark alleys, twisted streets, and towering buildings that can become deathtraps or tactical advantages. Adaptation will be key.
Lastly, a grim reminder. The Illuminant's reappearance is no random event, while their exact origin remains unknown.
Some speculate they emerged from the singularity created by Meridia's destruction. Whatever their intent, we face a three-front war now.
Helldivers, ready your gear, trust your training, and remember, precision orbital strikes can be the difference between survival and extinction.
Super Earth, prepare yourselves. Episode 2 of the Halloween Offensive is almost here.
In this chilling chapter, the team ventures into the unknown, where danger hides in the shadows and survival is anything but certain.
Mysteries deepen, people are tested, and an invisible threat emerges that will push them to their limits.
Starring Umbriel as Bulldog.
More like what you'd call hunters these days. See, back then, stalkers weren't as dangerous.
Brady Flanagan as the First Sergeant.
Well, do you want to tell them, or am I telling the story?
Cat as Lieutenant Grayson.
Don't worry, Sergeant. If we find anything, we'll be sure to leave you some bugs to play with.
And more incredible voices delivering gripping performances.
On your six, Lieutenant. I've got movement.
Oh, great. They're basically werehunting ghosts.
What secrets will they uncover? What sacrifices will they make?
Find out in Episode 2 of the Halloween Offensive.
Click the link now and watch Episode 1, because the real nightmare is just beginning.
Welcome back to Strategic Insight, where war-sharpest minds collide.
I'm Bulldog, and tonight we're breaking down the victory on Calypso.
A victory earned in blood, with 38,274,020 Helldivers dead in just two days.
This is the heaviest loss since Malevolent Creek.
Except that took a week.
Joining me tonight are SEAF Tactical Planner, Lieutenant Commander Elias Voss.
Ready to call this a strategic masterstroke. And Dr. Miranda Keen, who says we paid far too steep a price.
Let's get into it.
Lieutenant Commander Voss, SEAF Command claims Calypso was a necessary victory to break the Illuminate Stranglehold.
But over 38,000,000 dead in 48 hours? How do you justify that?
Calypso was a critical victory. Without it, the Illuminate would have solidified a forward command base, threatening five neighboring systems.
Those lives weren't lost. They were invested.
We now control the southern hemisphere's largest warp gate, and enemy casualties exceeded 3 billion.
Invested? At Malevolent Creek, similar losses stretched across a week, and it was still considered a near catastrophe.
Compressing that into two days is operational recklessness.
We adapted. Calypso's defensive complexity meant striking fast and hard before their reinforcements could arrive.
Prolonging the battle would have been even deadlier.
Except you've set a dangerous precedent, throwing lives at the problem with diminishing returns.
What happens when we're bled dry before the next campaign?
Speaking of the next campaign, SEAF Command must be planning a follow-up strike.
Lieutenant Commander, where's the next target?
Before you declare victory, consider how many of those 3 billion enemy dead were the Voatless?
Once citizens of Super Earth enslaved by the Illuminate, how many lives were truly liberated versus erased?
Every Voatless death is tragic, but their enslavement left us no choice.
Every delay risked more systems falling into Illuminate control.
Let's consider this. If Super Earth hadn't deployed such overwhelming force,
how many more lives would have been lost on both sides?
Was the gamble worth the cost, or did we back ourselves into a war of attrition?
If Super Earth hadn't deployed such overwhelming force, how many more lives would have been lost on both sides?
Was the gamble worth the cost, or did we back ourselves into a war of attrition?
A smaller deployment would have handed the Illuminate a decisive advantage.
Holding back would have meant losing Calypso and millions, if not billions more, in follow-up campaigns.
But at what cost? We're fighting wars of annihilation, not liberation.
Sacrificing so many Helldivers may have won this battle, but wars aren't won through body counts alone.
So, have we secured a victory, or are we standing on borrowed time?
You decide.
That's all for Strategic Insight.
As we close tonight's broadcast, remember that war isn't won by luck or fate.
It's won through grit, sacrifice, and unyielding resolve.
Our enemies are relentless, but so are we.
To our Helldivers on Genesis Prime, Mog, and wherever the next front may arise, you are the shield between Super Earth and extinction.
You are Liberty's last hope.
This is Joe Turner, signing off.
This was GNR 107's Daily Wartime Update. Stay sharp, stay vigilant. Good hunting, Helldivers.
Until tomorrow.
The line don't break.
Victory's ours to make.
Boom, cucks, boom, boogs, boom.
Mod Art time, no fear, no doubt.
Helldiver Shrek, shout it out.
Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.
Steal our hearts, raise heads high. We'll fight strong through storm and sky.
Dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb. Liberty calls, answer the fight. Pull the line through day and night.
Dumb, da, da, dumb. They stole our voice, they took our home. Crushed our dreams, turned hearts to stone.
Break the chains, shatter control. Freedom burns within our soul. Dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb.
Dumb, da, da, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb. Liberty calls, answer the fight. Pull the line through day and night.
Victory's ours. Strike first, attack.