This podcast reports news as if it's from the video game Helldivers, but is not associated with the creators, and not affiliated with Arrowhead Game Studios in any way.
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This is an emergency broadcast from GNR 107. All Helldivers across the galaxy hear this transmission, this just in.
Disregard all prior orders. Repeat, disregard all prior orders.
All units to Libken 1. All units to Libken 1. All units to Libken 1.
Planet Calypso is under assault. Illuminate signatures confirmed. Hostile forces are overwhelming planetary defenses. All Helldivers ordered to Calypso immediately.
Reports indicate CF forces are stretched thin, holding only scattered sectors on both Terminid and Automaton fronts. With fewer than 100 active Helldivers left in whole sectors, the SEAF has dug in and is prepared to stand fast while new fronts open.
An old enemy has resurfaced. The Illuminate have returned from the shadows, and their invasion is swift and merciless. To all Helldivers, liberate Calypso, endure, advance, prevail.
This is Joe Turner. We will have more information later tonight. Stay tuned for further updates on this new galactic war with the Illuminate.
When the fire lights
Up a starry night on Christmas
Promises we made
All just seems to fade on Christmas
When you kiss me slow
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