I really, when I started, I wanted to create
something that in and of itself was useful, not
a waste of people's time. And so I'm pretty selective
and I want to make sure as much as possible.
It's very high quality. It's very digestible.
And it's not me just... pretending I have all
the answers, telling people what to do. So I'm
trying to strike that balance, hey, these are
perspectives, take it in. Much more about helping
a parent just get into a better decision -making
place than me saying which therapies I like or
don't like or what they should do. And that's
kind of a very fine line to walk. I think a lot
of parents who are in my position, you want someone
to tell you what to do. And I'm trying to tell
them, no, you don't want that, but you can get
to a much better place. Where what makes sense
for your child as you're trying to parent do
the best job you can you know it's about them.
Getting that clarity and whatever people choose
to do with anything that's totally up to them
i just would love to create. Dynamic help to
promote dynamic within the family that's not
as heavy not as stressful not you know and that's
really about i guess the way i bottom line is
about preventing unnecessary suffering for everyone.
if you navigate a different way. Yeah, that's
well said. And there's a lot of people in autism,
like the care, so -called care teams are constantly
telling people what to do, what they need to
do, what they can't do. And I hate to say it,
but I question a lot of their training. So it
makes it kind of tough to understand what is
right. And you know, you're in a high pressure
situation there because something is wrong, obviously.
Something is wrong. How do I make it better?
Before we begin, I would like to share a couple
of different products. The first one is Chroma,
a device designed for humans. But I will have
to tell you, yeah, you need to kind of act fast
here because they're selling out a lot of products
for the holiday seasons. They've ran a lot of
good holiday deals. Their new product, the Trinity,
incredible the various wavelengths of light it
is essentially of these products appear into
one it's like an all -in -one chroma light designs
are their their engineering is the huge benefit
of this you can see these devices with spectrometers
to see the exact wavelength or if you just click
on them you can just get everything you want
to know about these products you can use autism
at checkout for 10 % off. The other product is
Daylight Computer Company. You can use autism
for $50 off at checkout. The DC -1 is no joke,
especially outside and at night. If you go outside,
here's a good picture of it right here. The screen
is just so bright that you can just continue
to use it. It's so functional outside. And that's
not the case with other devices. This is the
only device like this. With the Daylight Computer
Company, you can just, the writing technology
on it is like pen and paper. It's like pencil
and paper. It's just so fascinating, this technology
here. This is a special type of technology here.
And it mimics writing on paper, which is something
humans evolved under. And it's a big impact for
learning and how we remember things versus reading
things and typing things. It's a big difference
here and it's undervalued. And you can just draw
on it. And there's a slice of the mesencephalon.
Remember the mesencephalon episode. You have
things like the substantia nigra right here.
The red nucleus. This is all very fascinating
stuff here. The superior colliculi we talk a
lot about right here. The relay station for vision
deep in your brain stem. The daylight computer
company is fantastic. And at night, there's no
blue light. This is also the only device like
this. Daylight Computer Company is the future
of technology, but it's already here. You can
use autism for $50 off at checkout. The next
one is Fig Tree Golf, McChristian Golf Apparel,
and accessories for youth, women, and men. They
have some very cool products here, so I'm happy
to... offer 10 % discount at checkout using autism
for victory golf as well for any golfers out
there. I know it's kind of a nuance or niche
kind of area here, especially for the autism
podcast, but I like Christianity and I like golf.
I'm happy to offer a discount 10 % off use autism
at checkout. And then finally, Cogniti. The Cogniti.
AI designed for the autistic phenotype. It delivers
different levels of social skills. It delivers
different types of activities and understanding
for helping the autistic phenotype. And it was
created by Kate who designed it. She had this
vision to help her brother. And she's very passionate
about this. They're expanding out from Europe
to the U .S. and They're hoping to make some
good progress here. And it's, you can see up
here, it's for clinics, schools, parents, and
students. It's very useful for the autistic phenotype.
It's very easy to understand. And there's various
levels that you can navigate from beginning level
to more complex things like for adults with the,
with the dating advice. And it just helps you
run through different scenarios in life and talks
you through it. You can use autism for 10 % off
and you can cancel at any time. Would you mind
just starting and telling us about yourself even
before becoming a parent and just what led you
into autism? Sure. Again, I think like most parents,
autism was something I was aware of before my
first son was born and I was really hoping to
avoid it. My wife and I had our first son and
he was born. Um, everything was going great.
You know, the issues with, uh, when he was born,
perfect APCAR scores, his health seemed really
good, but it was around, um, you know, around
13 months is when things started really changing
for him. So basically long story short, he was
diagnosed eventually moderate borderline severe
autism. And, um, you know, I think from my standpoint,
it shifted everything and. I just knew that if
I would have stayed the parent I was when he
received that diagnosis, if I didn't make any
shifts, I know for a fact he would not be the
young man he is now. That's why, for me, it is
about my son, which is why autism became relevant.
I tend not even to use that term so much because
it just is a label based on, if you check enough
boxes, And I just really learned that effectively
forgetting about the label every child has challenges
and opportunities for growth and a parent's job
to try to discern what's happening with their
child and what might be useful so the high level
summary with my son is he. compared to when he
was diagnosed with moderate borderline severe
autism, he's wildly unrecognizable now. The child
who lost his words and I really was convinced
he would never speak. He does now talk more than
anyone I know. He's a happy, joyful kid, a young
man now. And I just know he would not be where
he is now if I didn't shift. If I stayed in the
parenting mode that I was in, how I was programmed,
I think he... I don't think I know he would be
much in a much different situation now. So again,
I'm very grateful for so much that's happened
in my life, including that autism diagnosis,
which was a wake up call to parent very differently
and to operate with much more acceptance, love
and determination. So I know I'm kind of broad
brushing it, but yes, I would not be doing this
work if it wasn't for the diagnosis. My son and
i've spent you know basically sixteen years trying
to figure out how to help parents respond in
a much more powerful and effective way which
doesn't mean throwing the kitchen sink at the
child that just means shifting. How you're operating
in a way that helps promote connection love acceptance
and. If your child's dealing with medical issues
and challenges and there's root causes that are
going on, I think it's really useful for a parent
to get clearer on what those root causes might
be that manifest as something that people give
a label to like autism. And if you channel your
time, energy and money on those things, progress
accelerates because it's very easy for you to
take your time, energy especially and squander
it as a parent. on worry, on being frustrated.
This can be a super challenging journey for many
parents. And while I honor the journey that anyone's
on, and it's okay to feel whatever you feel,
there is a way of navigating this journey that
feels much better, that feels lighter, and there's
a way of channeling what you do have. into actions
that actually move the needle in a positive way
for your child, for yourself, for your family.
And that's that's what I'm dedicated to doing.
The use of lighter right there makes me think
because a lot of parents seem restricted and
like there's a definitely a lot of weight and
kind of like maybe even just stuck. Waiting through
my and so forth but i'm really fascinating on
your little shift there because that's all internal
like how did you come to the moment where you
realize that you had to shift. Great great question
and i would just say before i answer that. The
weight that you mentioned that i mentioned what
i know for sure is that that way is ninety nine
percent self generated. In other words, the weight
is not what's happening to you, to your child.
It's all self -generated, which sucks that that's
the reality. Again, that's my opinion, but it's
also incredibly hopeful because if you're generating
it, hey, you can stop today. You can empty the
load or lighten that backpack today. Again, that's
really where I focus my energy. It's the book
you have right in front of you or behind you
by Carol Dweck mindset Yeah, the eight things
and we can attach to those and it will just destroy
us. It's all right here No question. No question.
And that's where mindset you hear it now and
it's almost cliche like people Oh, yeah positive
mindset all that but really I mean if your mindset
is not Aligned to where you want to go Immediately
you're generating friction Full stop. So mindset's
not just kind of a concept to kind of be aware
of. You actually have to implement it. You have
to truly adopt that growth mindset that she talks
about in that book. And it's kind of scary because
a growth mindset, ultimately, if you fast forward,
what does that really mean? That means falling
in love with making mistakes and being more than
okay with that, seeing mistakes as a sign. That
you're learning, you're growing, you're figuring
out what doesn't work. And that's hard if you're,
if you're parenting and you feel like the stakes
are high and you can't mess this up for your
child. The idea of making a mistake is, is beyond
frightening, which is why most parents like I
was at the time. I was just desperately wanting
someone just tell me what, what, what to do.
Right. I don't want, I don't want the baton.
I don't want the ball. I'd rather you just tell
me what to do and I'll implement, but I didn't
want that responsibility. And that's where. You
can't have that strategy because no one knows
your child better than you. And you can have
great advisors, medical doctors, functional medicine
or maps type practitioners or therapists. I mean,
there's a lot of people to have on your team,
but nobody replaces you as the parent in terms
of making great decisions. And you can't make
great decisions if you're trapped in a fixed
mindset. And none of us parents volunteer and
say, yes, I'm going to switch into victim mentality.
But we do. We do. And the key is Course correcting
rapidly because if you stay there, you can't
help your child, you know, they need you to lead
They don't need you to have a pity party and
and kind of you know kind of Staying stuck with
your own crap, you know, they need you to help
lead the way and again, that's an opportunity
for any parent Yes, well said that's that's very
cool You had asked me though, what was the pivotal
moment? I think so I'd like to I'd like to be
mindful to answer your question And I can't say
there was one Specific. I mean honestly my wife
Cass and I early on we aligned with the concept
that We were going to do what it took to help
our child even if that meant Inconvenient expensive
like we were gonna do what it takes and I think
so many parents have that posture We've just
had some really good influences early on, who
helped us see things a little bit differently.
The way I always describe it is, if I parented
my son, Rye, the way I was parented, the way
I was programmed to parent by what I experienced
as a child, what I saw my parents doing, and
hey, they weren't perfect, but they were phenomenal
parents. But they had a playbook, which many
people in that generation had a playbook of how
you were with your kids. If I took that crappy
playbook and tried to apply that with my son,
no way. There was no way that was going to work.
It didn't mean my parents' playbook was bad.
It may have been appropriate at the time, but
right now I just knew for my son that would never
work. So I think ultimately the shift for me
came when I realized, as I mentioned before,
No one is coming. There's no practitioner that
we're gonna see who's gonna say, okay, here it
is And so and I think my wife cast she stepped
into that knowledge earlier than I it took me
longer because I really did feel like As as a
dad, you know Don't do anything. This will this
will get better without us, you know going down
rabbit holes I was very averse to you know, like
I wasn't very curious Like I didn't want to do
the research. I didn't want to understand it
better. I just wanted somebody to tell me what
to do. So there was a moment in there, um, that
I realized, wait a second, me getting to a clearer
place to make better decisions and being comfortable
doing that is not optional, that that's essential.
And so that helped me get into that, to raise
my hand, to get into that CEO role of the decision
maker instead of looking for to hire some consultants
to come in and tell me what to do, right? So
that was the shift. And then the second big shift
is that I knew for myself how hard this felt
in so many ways. And a lot of it comes down,
for me, it came down to the beliefs I was holding,
right? And the subconscious stories I was telling
myself. And that's a big part of how I help parents
now, because it's these stories, these programs,
which is different than mindset, by the way.
Mindset's more your attitude, right? How you're
approaching it. But your beliefs, that's the
program, the programs that are running below
the surface. And most people, especially me,
I had no clue what my beliefs were. So becoming
aware more of how I was programmed gave the opportunity
for me to shift. And that's a big part of how
I Support parents to reveal their beliefs. I
don't force them to change their beliefs But
I help them go through a process where they get
revealed because they're below the surface and
with that Parents can shift dramatically and
that's what I mean when I say they can take a
whole bunch of stuff out of their backpack immediately
that's weighing them down and It's within those
that beliefs area that what moved the needle
most for me was I had a belief that was playing
that resulted in me getting frustrated with my
son or really down on myself and ultimately that
belief was That in some way I was a lousy parent.
I was failing my son So it was not a belief I
was holding about my son was a belief I was holding
about myself and so the shift for me that made
the biggest difference is number one To recognize
i was being a great parent i was doing what i
could i wasn't perfect but i was a great parent
so i didn't and i didn't have to beat myself
up. To motivate myself to become better like
i could continue to progress and become better
and better at parenting my son without beating
myself up because that was how i was adding weight
to my own my own pack so i think that's that's
where the inflection point for me was. One, no
one is coming. And two, I can become the parent
I want to be the parent I think my son needs
now. And I don't have to use negative self -talk
or really like internally beat myself up to try
to get me to a higher level. I could ascend to
that higher level with kindness toward myself.
And I feel like so many parents, a big part of
the journey is their feelings about themselves.
that they experience negative feelings when they're
by themselves. It's those lonely times in the
journey that can feel the hardest. And again,
parents can do, they can change that rapidly.
Yeah, self -awareness is a big part of change,
and I think it's the first step. It's self -awareness.
You have to be aware of who you are, what you
are, and then self -acceptance. You have to accept
that, and then you can change. I like Carl Rogers
for that. And I also like attitude and effort
are mine, not anybody else's. They're mine. So
I get to control those two things. And essentially,
that's all we can control is our attitude and
our effort. That's the only things that we can
control. The value part of being a parent and
seeing our child, that gives us a greater chance
of kind of going down that path of that feeling.
Hopeless and helpless. I think value determines
that so that is ought to be a good signal That
means it's valuable to you. It's important to
you. So how to fix it and let's go see Lynn and
how to fix it How old was your your your son
right at this point where you made that shift?
Yeah, so he was diagnosed when he was 18 months
and we started, you know, I went to my first
autism conference. My wife thought it was a good
idea for me to go while she held Ford at home.
I was at my first autism conference when he was
around three. Then I would say the shifts in
my mind, and at least personally for me, happened
because I started getting educated, started seeing
more possibilities of what was happening than
if you stayed the conventional route. I would
say when he was around five or six, is when,
thanks to some of the people that we worked with
and some of the organizations, there are many,
too many to mention right now. I think that's
where I got into this place where, wait a second,
there is a better path. I'm gonna lighten my
load now through a few key moves, the ones I
mentioned. And so I think that was kind of my
inflection point, probably when my son was around
five. But basically those first, you know, two
or three years were hard, were chaotic. And who
do you trust? What do you do? What's the next
step? So I think there was a lot of chaos before
at least I started feeling more momentum and
more confidence in my ability to navigate and
make great decisions. Confidence is a big word
there. Yeah. Yeah. And false confidence doesn't
work. You can't pretend. Yeah, you won't believe
it. You'll eventually not believe it. Very transient
type of thing there. That's incredible. So you
mentioned earlier that he's shifted from nonverbal
to verbal. Can you tell us about that process?
Sure. Yeah. Now with him, he had a, like every
child, very unique set of things that were happening
for him. And from a language perspective, that
took a while for that to turn around. But really
for us, he had more obvious physical issues that
were going on. He had huge GI issues that needed
to be addressed. You know, it's interesting now
when I talk about things, and I don't mean to
discount or to sound arrogant, but for my son,
The autism was a lesser problem compared to his
life threatening allergies. So my son also, you
know, he basically all around the same time,
not only did we find out that or get the diagnosis
that he was on the autism spectrum, but that's
also around the time that we found out he has
life threatening, severe allergies to peanuts
and soy and high allergies to We and tree nuts
and all. I mean, the list goes on and on. Basically
what happened is his GI system was so wrecked
that he basically became allergic to anything
that he ate. Oh, we had a lot of physical issues
that we were trying to help him with. Um, so
his lack of speech existed until those. Issues
started to become addressed. So very much physically
he was unwell and once he started to improve
that's when we started to see speech reemerge
and You know, I don't know if you want to go
down this road or not, but basically for him
we tried everything medically to help him with
his GI issues and Some things helped a little
bit, but he was on a liquid medical food for
about a year and a half because he couldn't eat
any regular foods. And nothing really helped
with respect to that. And the thing that literally
changed his course, his trajectory overnight
was homeopathy. So a modality that most people
would think is nonsense. I totally thought it
was nonsense, implausible, can't work. And homeopathy
turned out to be an incredibly important piece.
And again, that's something that my wife, Cass,
was curious about, was kind of making the case
for, and I dismissed it. And fortunately, I had
the good sense to say, OK, I'm going to not resist
this. Let's try this. And there's no downside.
And it could be a waste of time. But I was open
enough and smart enough to at least not get in
the way. And that changed everything for him.
How did your wife learn about that? Well, she's
did she He responds and moves quick. So she was
always she was looking at all kinds of different
options And you know even the autism conference
which was a defeat autism now conference back
in the day That was the organization that was
moving And it wouldn't have been my idea to go
to that conference I would have found some reason
to be skeptical and say it's not gonna be worth
worth the time, but she found out about that.
And again, I learned a lot there, including they
talked a bit about homeopathy there. But I think
just in her research, she was just very thorough
and was more open and to the more energetic approaches.
Again, I have more of an analytical mind, more
of a skeptical mind. And so it wouldn't have
been something I would have thought, hey, this
is worth pursuing. But I'm so glad we did. Yeah,
it's incredible because that mother instinct,
there's a lot to the mother instinct with the
autistic child. No doubt. And it's funny because
with the work that I now do one -on -one coaching
and it's me coaching and I don't even like to
call it coaching because it's much more advisory
because it's really about helping the parent
rise. I do that. As a male, knowing that for
the parents that I have the honor of walking
alongside, the intuition of both parents is incredibly
important, but especially the maternal intuition.
You can't discount that. You can't bury that.
And so I'm a big fan of helping mom or dad, but
especially mom to walk into what I would call
informed intuition. Because you know because
intuition is great, but sometimes intuition can
kind of for whatever reason be radically off
So I think that's where this awareness that you
mentioned earlier Stepping into a greater sense.
Here's what's going on in a detailed way with
my child Here are the options here are the roads
we can go down and especially here are the root
causes that I think might be At play to focus
on if you get to that greater informed state
then it's like, okay now where do I sense is
the right area to focus on? And that's where
the intuition, particularly maternal intuition
comes into play. Whenever Cass and I would have
a disagreement in terms of which road to go down,
we would both make our case and had respectful
conversations. But if there was a tie, the tie
went to the maternal intuition, not the paternal
intuition. Well done, man. Well said. I, maybe
I shouldn't assume, but that comes from experience.
That's so freaking fun. How was your son going
through school and so forth? And how were you
as a parent during the school years, like especially
early on elementary and so forth? Yeah, our road
was a little bit unique, you know, he Early on,
we did a home -based program for him when he
was younger, like around five. We did the Sunrise
program, which is one that some people may be
aware of, but it's basically a child -centered
program and it's home -based, so he wasn't at
a school. But then we moved into more of a private
school, like a community -type environment that
was much smaller class size and really a good
fit for him. And then by the time he turned got
to fifth grade, the town we were living at the
time had a dynamite public school with really
great teachers at that grade level. And I mean,
I honestly never thought my son would be in a
public school. Like, I didn't think that that
was I wanted that. That was actually what I I
early on. That was my goal. I'm like, if he could
be in a public school with no support victory,
right? Mission accomplished. And that happened
in fifth grade. He went to fifth grade and had
a phenomenal year. And again, it was because
it was a fit. The school was the right teachers,
right environment. And he thrived in elementary
school for a couple of years. And at that point,
he was ready for it. He had the skills to do
that. And that's because we spent a lot of time.
Early on with the home program and also helping
him to learn the skills that he needed to be
successful in that type of environment. So it
wasn't just the schools taught him and we did
nothing at home. We were doing a lot at home
to help him learn what he needs to learn to be
successful. because I didn't want him just to
be in a public school, but then have all kinds
of scaffolding around him. I wanted it to be
a fit where he was able to navigate on his own.
And fortunately, he was. And that was an incredible
experience for him for a couple of years. And
then after that, he then progressed more to a
home to different community schools, like which
are basically public schools, but with a different
philosophy that we have in our state. And now
he's 18 and just finishing his last year of high
school of high school. And for the last few years,
he's been in more of a homeschool environment
with a teacher that's got a relatively smaller
class size and different grades, you know, kind
of in one place, which is a much better fit for
how he learns. Now, that's an incredible story.
Circling back to the speech, him developing speech,
was it just based off of the? Settling all those
more life -threatening problems and then you
could work on certain interventions or Did we
capture what helped him speech come about or
no? Well, I think what I was inferring is that
as his body became more Functioning the way it
was meant to because he was literally failure
to thrive nothing was working so developmental
issues were hugely impacted by his physical health
issues so i think once his body started to get.
More regulated right and more and more operating
the way it was designed to which again medicine
didn't work conventional medicine didn't work
but an energetic approach like homeopathy literally
heat. he transformed the next day. He started
his upward progression. I think as then his body
got stronger, then yes, he was able to do many
more things, including the speech started to
slowly return. Now, clearly he was doing speech
therapy and doing a number of things at the time,
but I guess the life -threatening allergy piece
of it, which is still an issue, by the way, but
that forced our hand to take food seriously.
So to feed him nourishing food that doesn't have
poisons and toxins in it, and that meet the needs
that he has, that he uniquely had from a nutritional
standpoint, focusing on food, prioritizing quality
food, non -toxic food. That was a huge part of
him having the building blocks to progress in
all kinds of areas, including communication and
speech. Okay. Nicely done. Nicely said too. Yeah.
I've noticed a little theme and you go root cause
or upstream. I think about going upstream to
see how these things are being kind of highly
manifest because we'd like to treat that. We
like to treat downstream, but we don't ever talk
about the root cause. And I think that's missed.
And you elegantly said that a couple of different
times. I just want to thank you for that. Yeah,
I thank you for for identifying that and that
really to bottom line this, I mean that I don't
want to call this a game, but let's just say
it's a game. It's a game for parents to figure
out ultimately what decisions make sense and
the powerful strategy is to have a root cause
approach, to be obsessed with identity. That
doesn't mean you can't address symptoms. Of course
you can. You can do therapies. You can do supplement,
you know, whatever the case may be. But to really
have a very educated guess on what are the few,
not the 20, but the few root causes that are
relevant for my child, why they're exhibiting
and presenting the way they are. That is how
you accelerate progress. And that's again, that
goes back to my prior career, where especially
when my son was diagnosed, I was working in New
York City for the behemoth banks. I was kind
of a CPA, a controller, a CFO. And then ultimately
these banks, because it was merger after merger,
ultimately these banks were horribly functioning.
Like the processes at these banks, were horrible
because it was just these different organizations
put together with paper clips and rubber bands.
So I shifted from a more of a financial type
role to fixing the broken processes that were
preventing the company from running well. So
ultimately I wound up getting certified as a
Six Sigma master black belt. Somebody who's really
good at re -engineering processes at these dysfunctional
organizations and basically creating processes
that yield. No defects. So it's ironic that at
the time I got the diagnosis for my son, my job
was to help banks run better and to have processes
that didn't result in defects. And here I get
the diagnosis for my son, which was basically
a seven page letter that said your son is defective.
And so it was hard to hear. And that's where
I kind of got into fix it mode, which also doesn't
work in terms of trying to fix your child. Right.
It's all about meeting your child's needs. But
But that but what I learned in my corporate career
and what I was doing was all about how do you
re engineer how these These companies operate
and I'm taking that expertise and now I'm pointing
it directly at parents Because we all show up
with a certain capacity for good decision -making
But our processes for how we take an information
how we analyze it and then decide what to do
with it I know I didn't have a really good process
for that I stayed stuck and again, wanted other
people to make those decisions for me. And so
that's why I feel like this is a huge unsolved
problem that most people don't even know they
have, that their ability to take what's going
on and then to ultimately have a plan they feel
good about and to execute it well. I feel like
every parent has an opportunity to improve that.
And that's where everything I do is focused on
that transformation of the parent as being the
greatest intervention they can do for their child.
It's a good fit. It's a good trait, like your
analytic in mind. It's putting it to better use,
that's for sure. It absolutely is. And not to
say that the professional role isn't useful too,
but like there's something different about like
serving humanity and especially serving our children.
That is life. That's where life happens. And
you're doing a wonderful job of that. It's this.
It's fun to listen to you convey that out and
just the beauty behind it and the passion is
very, very nice to see. At what point did you
think about the podcast? Could you just walk
us through the moment you started to even just
think about it and then the process of beginning
the podcast? Because it's very successful, I
think. episode from 277 came up today, is that
correct? Yeah, I think it may be 286 might be
today. And yeah, it's been a labor. It's been
a labor of love. And I guess the origin of it,
probably months after my son was diagnosed is
when I was just very frustrated that there weren't
really any great resources. to help parents and
uh and i and i knew especially when things were
the hardest for my son. I didn't have time for
anything like i wouldn't have had time to sign
up for coaching are you kidding like you know
there's no way and but in all the chaos i was
doing research my wife was doing research online
and that's great but i just felt parents needed
something. To to be able to hear and that would
help them in a positive way And it had to be
easy for them to digest and that's where no matter
how chaotic my life got I could always put on
a pair of headphones and listen to something
so the podcast the audio Medium itself for me
was the strongest which is why even to this day
every episode I have having guests on I have
a full video of it, but I never created the YouTube
channel I never I don't put those videos out
there. It's still mainly an audio medium And
at some point maybe I will but otherwise I think
it's the easiest to take in information And again,
I wanted something that parents can listen to
and walk away not more dysregulated, right? Like
to walk away with more insight, more understanding,
more ways of how they can apply it in a positive
way. And sometimes I have guests on who talk
about an option, maybe that isn't a fit. And
that's where I tell parents, listen, listen,
you don't have to do everything that every guest.
Who comes on says I mean they make the case but
you decide and it's okay, you know I think being
regulated as a parent me me to me means being
really clear that you know what you're doing
why you're doing it and you feel good about it
and Especially you're okay with all the much
longer list of things that you're not doing You
need to be feeling good about what you're doing
and what you're not doing, at least for my nervous
system to calm down. That's a big part of what
I like to help parents get to. The podcast itself,
I just felt like that was the best way of taking
what my wife and I were learning and sharing
that so that people can have these insights,
have the knowledge of this very different way
of navigating the journey. Earlier and it shouldn't
take everyone does it a dozen years like it did
me to kind of figure this out We wanted to make
sure people had that information earlier. And
again, it's all about How they're navigating
and making decisions it's not because there's
no right or wrong about what you do for your
child But in my opinion, I say respectfully there
is a right and a wrong way of how you navigate.
There's a way of navigating that creates the
friction that we talked about earlier, and that
just keeps adding weight to your backpack, which
can only lead to burnout in some form or another.
And as a way of navigating, again, that just
feels lighter, that enables you to course correct
quicker, and to, again, constantly figure out
ways of modifying how you are. so that you can
make better and better decisions for your child.
And that is absolutely possible. So that's where
I think how you navigate, to me, is more important
than what you do. You got to get that how figured
out first, and then you're off to the races to
figure out what makes, what are the best moves
for you and your family and your child. Yeah,
neuroscience, that's noise. All that other stuff
is noise. And then signal is what you're sending
your spotlight of attention to, and that's...
crucial here. Yeah. And it goes back to the attitude
and effort thing. It's like, your attitude, your
attention has to be on that goal, not what you
could have done. Not those other possibilities.
Right. Maybe those will come in to play later,
but not right now. Yeah. Thanks for correcting
me too on the episode 286. Because I remember,
I think 277 was with Tristan from Daylight. And
that's why stuck with me. Yeah, Tristan is fantastic.
And your last two episodes were about EMF. So
that's an unseen and very harmful kind of phenomenon
that we're navigating as humans right now, is
the EMFs. Again, it may be lost on some people
why EMFs, how they entered a picture. I know
it's not lost on you. But again, for a parent,
In a house with a child with complex challenges,
a big part of how you can navigate better is
by playing better defense against stressors,
particularly in the house. And EMFs are just
a huge one without a doubt that is behind a lot
of the dysregulated behavior, at least a contributing
factor. So again, here, knowledge of what's going
on in your home is really important. And then
doing something about it And some of the actions,
most of the actions that you can take to play
better defense don't cost anything. They're free.
They're easy. Sure, you can spend a lot of money
and go full throttle, but it's just about playing
not perfect defense, but better defense. Whether
we're talking about EMFs or mold in the house
or chemicals and other toxins, that's a key part
of it. The key part is curating an environment
that allows for everyone in your family to thrive,
including yourself. Yeah. Humans, we'd love to
make sense of things that we can see and understand.
We can't see these EMFs all around our environment,
but they are harmful. And just like unplugging
the Wi -Fi is going to be something that people
can do and it's a success. You might not see
the benefits of it. I think eventually you will
with just the way we are. like with our mood
and our energy and so forth. But it's just simple
steps like that can help like create this bigger
picture and, you know, create momentum because
we're closing a loop. We're doing something progressive
or productive. And the EMF is just, you know,
it's just complicates because we can't see it.
It's not like we burn our hand and it's like,
OK, I can't put my hand in fire anymore because
my hands burn. I felt it. It's not like that
at all. There's some great data on EMF too, which
is unknown Which is uh, I want to ask you about
unless you wanted to follow up with the EMF I
just wanted to say one thing about EMF and then
I definitely would love for you to ask the question
you're about to ask with the EMFs There's some
confusion in terms of like why it matters. It's
Not likely that EMFs Let's say are the root cause
of what's happening with your child if you have
you're trying to dial in What's at the root now
for some kids, it might be for my son, it may
be because I had that wireless, you know, uh,
digital television monitor when he was born right
off of his crib. And that thing was exerting
a lot. So he was getting a lot of stress, but,
but it's unlikely. I think that EMF exposure
might be a root cause that's relevant for why
your child's presenting the way they are. It
could be, but the key way of looking at EMS right
now is it, maybe it's not a top root cause of
what's happening with your child. that started
everything, but it very well might be a root
cause of why your child doesn't make more progress
now, if they're in an environment that is creating
just a much more stressful environment that's
just gonna dysregulate their nervous system more.
So that's a way of looking at EMFs, not necessarily
a root cause of going back to why your child
has the diagnosis they have, but very well can
be a root cause of why progress. is slow or why
everyone's staying stuck. And just from my work
with parents, it's crazy how often the highest
EMF exposures are in the bedroom where that child
particularly is sleeping. So when we use meters
and test the environment, other rooms, the parents'
bedroom, other kids, their levels of exposure
in that room are always lower. then the child
who's got these issues. And again, once parents
take some measures to reduce that, behaviors
improve, sleep improves, and there's nothing
more important than sleep in terms of how do
you help anyone become the best that they can
be. Yeah, these EMFs are on the electromagnetic
field, the microwave level, and it goes back
to, you know, we surround our babies with these
devices. So we can monitor them, and it's an
attempt to protect them and allow us to have
better access to them to eliminate dangers. But
these EMFs, like you mentioned, that's a good
example of that monitor, too, because I anticipate
those are very popular. But these EMFs are destroying
cells. And with autism, things like cells and
the EMS dehydrate cells and myelination, they
destroyed lipid. And so this EMF exposure could
cancel out things that you're doing and cancel
out the natural development, like what your son
had. Yep, 100 % that myelination is important.
We could have an entire episode just talking
about this topic, but it's not conjecture. I
mean, the research has been done. Professor Dr.
Paul is the one who did the pioneering research
probably I think about five years ago that demonstrated
how electromagnetic fields particularly how do
they Impact cells as you said right and it ultimately
is about these voltage gated calcium channels
within the cell and the EMF exposure allows an
excess amount of calcium to get into the cell
and then that creates oxidative stress and How
does that oxidative stress manifest? How do you
see it? Well, you very well may see it in the
behaviors and symptoms that we label as ADHD
or autism or Parkinson's or Alzheimer's. Again,
every person's going to, that oxidative stress
is not going to manifest differently. So it's
a very, it's not conjecture. There's a lot here
and that's why we can't avoid it. Right? We live
in an environment. There's natural EMFs. There's
a lot of man -made. It's just about playing better
defense. And you can significantly minimize without,
you know, moving off the grid. You can minimize
exposure. And again, if a parent's going to do
anything here, just make sure the sleeping environment
is protected. Yeah, Mercola. Your book, EMF,
right behind you, he's excellent on that. You
had CC on. I've never heard of CC, but, you know,
I'd listened and she is one of the few people
that I've heard mention going away with section
704. And that was a big thing. John Coats of
RF safe is huge on this too. He's dedicated his
life for this exposure. And this 704 is. It's
significant. I mean, it's protection. It's almost
like, to me, the VAX safety of 1986, but different
context. It's just providing protection because
it's known of the potential harms. So... I guess
maybe what I would want to ask is... How can
we bring 704 out to the public knowledge? Do
you have any ideas on how to bring that into
awareness more? Yeah, well, the episode with
Cece, she talks about it. I mean, it really comes
down to getting informed. Go to that website.
I think it's 704nomore .org. And again, it comes
down to an individual parent. If you feel like
You get educated and this is an issue. It's all
about spreading the word, talking to your school,
talking to decision makers, government officials.
Again, nobody wants to know this is true. Nobody
wants this. Again, this is a hard area because
it's so inconvenient and nobody wants to be judged
as over reactive or a lunatic. But again, there's
real science on this. there's real science in
both of the areas you mentioned, whether it's
a vaccine schedule or whether it's EMF exposure
or other potential toxins in there. It's easy
to be judged as being over reactive. But the
key is to get informed, to share this information.
And a lot of it, particularly schools, I think
are becoming more open. Because I know with my
son's school, I tried to make the case to them,
and this was the public school. I tried to make
the case to them about the importance of the
wifi routers in the classrooms, which were everywhere.
And even something like solar panels on the roof
of these schools. A lot of these schools have,
all classes are wired for wifi, so huge amounts
of wireless, radio frequencies, which is radiation.
So you have that going on. Sometimes they have
the solar panels on the roof, which generate
a huge amount of dirty electricity, which is
the worst of all four EMF types. And then a lot
of them also now have the towers, the 5G, not
only the towers, but they're smaller. They're
placing them on schools. They're placing them
on churches. And again, we'd like to think that
this stuff's invisible and therefore it doesn't
harm. But all you need to do is have the right
meter. And you can see we're not talking about
just slightly high levels. We're talking about
exponentially in which Dr. Mercola talks a lot
about in that book. And so I do think parents
getting informed. In trying to educate schools,
local government officials, I think initially
there's a lot of resistance because nobody wants
to admit there's a problem because that means
they have to do something about it. And maybe
they want to do something about it, but they
just may not have the funding to do it. So it's
better to pretend there's no problem. But no,
I think it's a word of mouth and it's pointing
people to sources of information where they can
look at the science themselves and look at the
research. And again, you have to recognize there's
a problem in order for you ever even to remotely.
Start to do something about it. So it's that
awareness. That's that's that's a super important,
which is why groups like 704 no more .org or
indispensable. Yeah, okay. Not only the like
the Wi Fi connections and the cell towers and
you can see cell towers and communication towers
right by schools now and it's very concerning,
but. They're getting Chromebooks things like.
tech devices, and that's very harmful as well.
So to backtrack a little bit, something a parent
can do is just not have the tech devices on for
the children, because children are more vulnerable
to that. I mean, it just the blue light goes
through the skull much more for the infant, the
younger child. And that's something that you
can do. That's zero cost and very helpful. But
Google has a patent on screens, monitors, destroying
this human central nervous system on humans.
This is public information. You can Google this.
I'll put it in the show notes, but they know
about it and nothing is done. It's very concerning.
No doubt. No doubt. It's, yeah, as you said,
there's easy things you can do. to maybe hard
wire something that's wireless, turning the wireless
off. All this stuff is inconvenient. Bottom line,
Ryan, I've learned from all the parents I've
coached that parents have a lot of fears. Things
they're worried about, judgments from other people.
We can go down a list of things that people are
fearful of, but honestly, the top thing I think
most parents are fearful of is inconvenience.
We've gotten so used to things being quick and
easy that wait, this is gonna take some Some
steps that I need to take I don't want to do
that or hard conversations And I say that with
respect because nobody was allergic to as allergic
to inconvenience as I was right I wanted everything
to be convenient but all they all the moves that
we made for our son they were all inconvenient
and and I'm glad that I Got over the resistance
to so i think of parents can embrace inconvenience
at least to some extent it'll open up so much
more for them and anything you're doing with
respect to minimizing EMS if you turn the router
off at night that's inconvenient you takes it
takes effort you can put out a timer so it's
not that difficult but if you're hardwiring a
laptop or chromebook instead of using wifi takes
a few extra steps but it is so worth it especially
if you can see through the measurement how much
less is coming at your child and you're 100 %
right. Children developing and growing brains,
much more susceptible to harm from this than
us as adults. Doesn't mean it's still not hurting
us in many ways we don't feel perhaps, but particularly
for a child playing better defense is key. And
one key thing I do want to highlight though is
you're right that you wouldn't want to be living
in a house with a huge tower, right? A cell tower,
you know, You're close to it. Like if you can
see it from your house, okay, that's probably
a flag that says, maybe this isn't the right
neighborhood to live in this or the right house.
But I would say that cell tower, even if it's
close, is nothing compared to what you're generating
inside your house with your own router. So if
you measure the impact from that distant cell
tower versus what you're doing in house. you
can't compare which is why within the house is
the key to take control over and again there's
super easy simple things you can do to play better
defense and everyone in the house will will benefit
particularly sleep sleep will get sleep will
become more restorative higher quality and that
alone is going to translate into you feeling
better as the parent your child feeling more
regulated perhaps less behaviors more focus Quality
sleep, there's nothing more magical than that.
So that's where playing better defense in the
sleeping environment here with respect to EMFs
is something, in my opinion, it's a must do move
and not that much effort and huge returns day
after day. Yeah. And it's not a parent problem.
We're in no way saying like the parent is not
putting in effort or is being bad. That's a human
nature thing with that inconvenience. very human
nature and it's across the board. It's universal.
Humans like the convenience. The whole role of
the brain is to just respond. It doesn't like
to work either. That's why change is hard and
that's why this so -called inconvenience has
that friction that you mentioned earlier. This
is the design of the central nervous system.
I love how you parsed out too with these other
conditions because if we just zoom out, and look
over the last 50 years, like with the dementias
and the heart diseases, heart attacks, the autism,
the ADHD, you know, all of these things are just
manifesting from, sure, some environmental insults,
but or mostly environmental, environmental insults,
but they all kind of find or follow the same
trend. And, you know, it's very telling. That
our environment is no good and in large part
is some of those EMFs and then like the vac schedule
to that humans kind of injected into other people
So I want to ask you about because you mentioned
this a couple of times. How do you go about parsing
out? Let's say research because we can basically
find research. It says anything now How do you
parse out? fact from Things that are just like
false or maybe bought jeopardized so forth Yeah,
I mean the discernment on what research to believe
in what not that is that's a bit tricky right
and that's where again I think the guidance from
advisors around you who maybe have gotten to
a place where they can help you discern that
right so the right medical practitioner or researcher
so You can go to PubMed and yeah, there's a lot
of information, but you got to look at who authored
the study was it funded by the pharmaceutical
industry or not. So again, to try to find, you
know, really in the truly independent, meaningful
research, that can be challenging. And I'll be
honest, I didn't spend hours and hours doing
that research. So I have relied on opinions of
people who I respect who I know don't have an
agenda. You know, and so again, and everything
that I personally do. It's always from the standpoint
of root cause root cause root cause. What does
the research say with respect to root cause?
And I'd be lying to you if I said, okay, hey,
I know the root cause of autism had been idiotic
thing for anyone to say, but you know, I could
never say that to you. But what I can say is
that, Hey, there's some very, um, likely suspects
that, uh, that we can point to to say this, there
may be something here in terms of what is driving
the autism epidemic. And translating into that
and again we don't have to talk about any of
them. I'll just I'll just spitball a whole bunch
of real strong candidates right so we we do have
things like EMF exposure and how much more that
is particularly if you go back to the inflection
point you know when things really started to
turn the EMF exposure that our kids are susceptible.
Huge. The chemicals and pesticides and all the
toxins in the air that are in the cord blood
you know of these children is massive so you
can just look at as a root cause the whole chemical
onslaught how much toxic you know like these
kids are born with their cup already the toxin
cup already pretty. filled. So you can look and
say that's a cause. You can look at the vaccine
schedule in terms of metals or whatever the case
may be. You can look at that. You can look at
glyphosate in terms of the glyphosate and how
insidious that is, how that wrecks the gut health.
And so I could keep going on and on. There's
a lot of things that you can point to that say,
hey, that might be a big contributing root cause
to how different the environment is now. And
I think as a parent, it's just about you understanding
those factors. And again, getting tuned in with,
hey, well, what's relevant for my child? Let
me try to focus on that root cause. Like Dr.
William Parker was on the podcast a couple months
ago before the big announcement from HHS about
Tylenol. And, you know, he's 100 % convinced
that Tylenol, you know, consumption, particularly
by the mother, you know, during pregnancy, he's
convinced that's a massive, and he doesn't think
that's a contributing factor. He feels like that's
really a key root cause. And then, of course,
if that's true, the question is, well, what do
we do about it? Well, there's ways that you can
support your child if that did contribute to
toxicity and is in some way a root cause for
what's going on with your child. But again, every
parent can look at their unique situation and
say, hey, I feel like these root causes are contributing
factors. Now, let me come up with a plan to take
actions that might help with that knowledge that
that might be at the root of why my child is
where they are right now. Yeah, okay. Well said.
Again, because there are so much. Those those
topics, though, are very, yeah, prevalent or,
yeah, it's like the spotlight there, those things
that you mentioned, especially with that title.
Yeah, the backs. Do you have you had any podcast
episodes about the vaccines or no? Oh sure if
you look at look you look at my podcast uh ratings
uh the you know the from one to five stars uh
all the non -five star ones are people who are
screaming and yelling that we have an anti -vaxxer
on the uh on the podcast so no we don't love
the labels i'd love the labels anti -vaxxer it's
like what does that mean And I don't know what
that means. And even like one episode that guest
didn't even talk about vaccines, but just because
they were on and they were known as a. And I
think that that's shifting now where people are
aware, hey, listen, there's something here. There's
vaccines are playing some role. And, you know,
we're maybe now doing the research thanks to
R .F .K. Junior to really see, hey, what, what,
what role are they playing? How is it? Again,
nobody knows anything with any certainty. The
key is to do the science and let the science
truly speak to do objective science, you know,
and have an organization, a government organization
that that does that work. That's not captured.
So I think there's so many positive things in
terms of what we might truly learn. So, so, yeah,
so I think, yeah, I'll just leave it at that.
OK, yeah, it's for some reason so sensitive,
but I think people get brainwashed. Because,
you know, the centralized controllers, the people
that make the profit also control the narrative.
They also control the direction of the research.
It's like, it's too much. It's just too much.
They control too much. And those narratives,
because, you know, we've talked about how humans,
we like to believe things and make it easier
for us. And this is like repetition. So that
just becomes the norm. And it's like, it's a
very covert way of establishing friction amongst
each other on our level. And that just distracts
problems. Yeah, but in answer to your question,
I've had some phenomenal guests, again, who don't
come on the show proclaiming that vaccinations
are horrible. They just say, hey, here is what's
known, here's what's not known. So people like
Dr. Christiane Northrup has been on and hit this
topic. Dr. Peter McCullough, who's quite even
more outspoken and doing incredible work. And
again, they're just sharing their perspective.
And this is for parents just, again, to get educated,
get educated on the case for or the case against,
but ultimately, you know, to make informed consent
and a good educated choice about what's right
for their child. And that's why, even though
I've had these people on and for my son, personally,
you know, he would, when he was diagnosed and
his health was really horrible. Um, you know,
his, his prac, his pediatrician gave a medical
exemption from vaccines because it was so clear
how, uh, particularly the MMR vaccine didn't
work as intended for him. Basically measled mumps
and rubella set up shop in his body. And so we
had the documented evidence now would be very
hard. for that same pediatrician to give a medical
exemption today. It was easier back then when
we experienced it. But yeah, so I think with
respect to vaccination and my son, that was clearly
a piece of what was happening for him. And I
think for anyone listening, the question is,
what's relevant for your child? Because just
because I've had people on my podcast who happen
to be skeptical or wanting more research, Again,
when I coach parents, I don't advise them on
whether to vaccinate or not. I just want them
to get into the clearest position to decide what
makes sense for your child. Doesn't have anything
to do with what I would prefer. And so I frustrate
clients a lot because I keep saying, you don't
want to hear what I would do. Like, I want to
help you get clear on what you choose to do.
And so whether that's with the vaccine schedule
or even medication, you know, my son, medication
didn't work for him. And so we tried it and it
just wasn't a fit, his body. And there are some
people who are very adamant against medication.
My goal is for a parent to get in a clearer place
and decide, does that make sense for them? And
again, what I would do in that situation is irrelevant.
I want them just to make an aligned decision
based on what's going on with their child and
what their values are and what they're wanting.
That's the key. It's all about the parent. making
decisions about what they choose to do, not me
trying to direct them or influence them in any
particular way. Yeah, that oxidative stress that
you mentioned too is something that not only
people in autism need to become aware of or research,
but everybody because that, you know, that's
really involved in the neurocognitive phenomena
that we're. We're approaching two, you know,
because it's like younger and younger. People
with getting diagnosed with dementia, younger
and younger. People are having heart attacks,
younger and younger. It's like, hey. Tell me
about, maybe we'll shift gears to more recent.
Tell me about your role with Dr. Bogner. Yeah,
Dr. Christian Wagner, he's a good example of,
you know, a pediatrician, right, who's focused
on helping and serving these kids and these parents.
And, you know, he's more for people who aren't
familiar with him. You know, he's definitely
not a conventional doctor. He takes more of a
functional approach. I think he would consider
himself to be part of this more kind of maps
type practitioners of the Medical Academy of
Pediatric Special Needs. I've had many of their
leadership and their practitioners on the podcast.
So Dr. Bogner similarly is about kind of more
of a functional approach to what's going on with
your child. And he's doing some great work in
terms of serving parents because finding the
right practitioner is so incredibly important
because in my opinion, You need a team. It's
like an organization chart. You're at the top
of the organization chart. You're the CEO and
you need people reporting to you. They're your
direct reports, right? And for me, I feel like
having a person with a medical degree as one
of those advisors is key. Now, if that's a pediatrician,
conventional pediatricians don't have much in
their toolbox to help. a child with complex conditions,
which is why choosing the right practitioner,
it's likely not to be a conventional medicine
doctor. It might be functional medicine, which
is taking more of a systems approach. And then
kind of in the middle, you have an integrated
practitioner, which is more of a conventional
medicine doctor that just has more tools in the
toolbox, including more energetic approaches
or homeopathy, things like that. So a big part
of my coaching is to help parents Get out of
their head what they're looking for in a practitioner
who would be a fit who wouldn't be a fit and
based on their Requirements, it's easy for me
to share my Rolodex. Okay. Here are the people
who fit what you're looking for And where dr.
Bogner comes in is he's got a really great Holistic
approach. He's committed to serving these parents
and making it affordable because if you do find
a practitioner who's a fit, sometimes that could
be a pretty expensive road. It may very well
be worth the investment, but Dr. Bogner knows
that there's a lot of people who want to work
with a MAPS type practitioner or functional medicine
practitioner, and he's committed to trying to
do it in a way where he can do it virtually.
As well as making it more affordable in terms
of the test that are done the consults so i think
what christian's doing is phenomenal and his
partner alexa haricus who's a parent but the
brilliant guy. He's created a unique stool test
that basically is a gut balancing. protocol that
he has that's leveraging this one very simple
school test, very affordable, that helps give
much more precise recommendations about what's
going on with your child and what supplements
or what approaches might help with improving
gut health, which I think probably most of your
listeners know. If you have dysbiosis and imbalance,
if the gut is kind of not in a great place, that
absolutely impacts neurological functioning.
So I think what Dr. Bogner and what Alex are
doing is much more of an approach that's centered
on kind of improving gut health. And when you
do that, lots of positive changes occur. Yeah,
it's all connected. It's all very connected.
At what point were you to the spot where you
was like, well, I could help coach parents and
kind of make this more widespread? It's a good
question. I really think early on what I knew
I couldn't do, because I'm not a great multitasker,
I couldn't focus on my son and at the same time
help other people. So I kind of stayed in isolation.
And I always said to myself, once my son gets
in a better place, then I want to find a way.
to help parents, because I didn't want parents
to have to go through the learning curve I did.
So, you know, I think me having a desire to pay
it forward probably kind of took root, you know,
probably about five years into the journey. I
didn't know what that was going to look like.
And I definitely never thought I would leave
my corporate career to do this full time. But
it got to a point where there was no more important
work that I could do. And so I can't not Not
do this work and i'm just committed to finding.
Just like doctor bogner is i want to find a better
and better ways of helping parents make this.
Leap from where they are now to version two point
oh what i call parent transformation. I'm trying
to find more more ways for parents to make that
shift quickly because the sooner they do. The
ROI on that for them and their child's massive
and. If they become better decision makers and
more resilient and more flexible and looser and
more present, I mean, that will compound in so
many ways day after day after day. So I didn't
think it was, I didn't want parents to take 12
years to make that shift. And so that's where
I just found the fastest way for them to. Step
into the the parent that they're they're meant
to be rapidly and again It has everything to
do with them going from where they are which
is not a lowly place But going from where they
are to something significantly More capable more
confident. So many of the parents I work with
start off in significant overwhelm and they're
stressed and so they go from there to where they're
Moving with greater momentum and confidence and
some parents start and they're already running
on all cylinders, making great decisions, feeling
good about what they're doing. But this coaching
then enables them to become truly unstoppable.
So every parent has room for growth. And I just
feel like the more parents do that, their child
benefits more than any other intervention. And
but I think that the challenge is Many parents
feel guilty or selfish if they focus on themselves.
You know, it's that oxygen mask analogy. Um,
but again, if parents can just prioritize themselves
first and get to that stronger place, it makes
all the difference. Can you tell us about the,
the kind of the evolution of the podcast, um,
from starting it, the beginning episodes to how
it's, how you built it up. And to where it is
now, if you had any kind of moments where it's
like, we need a pivot, or, you know, you have
that great sense of analytic and business mind,
and then talk us through, like the creation of
your website, your website is fantastic. Just
tell us about the evolution of the podcast. Well,
I think the the podcast I think like a lot of
things I've been learning right where At some
point if you want to do something you just got
to do it and you just improve it over time So
I thought about it for a while and then eventually
launched it And and I'd launched it initially
with my wife and and I think It's pretty it's
it's still pretty consistent in terms of the
structure. I think the thing that's shifted Is
that, you know, initially the podcast, um, well,
the podcast has always been called autism parenting
secrets. And that hasn't changed. And I don't
like the title by the way, because everything
we talk about isn't specifically about autism.
It's about, you know, so the diagnosis doesn't
matter. It's just, I know I want to serve those
parents. Cause I think autism particularly can
be a very. Very challenging journey. So I, so
autism's in the title because I want to reach
those people. But, you know, it doesn't matter
what your child might be facing, whether, you
know, whatever the diagnosis, it doesn't matter.
Everything that's in the podcast is going to
be equally useful. Autism is in the title, um,
parenting, you know, it's not necessarily me
giving parenting advice. It's just that this
is for parents. And then the secret, the big
secret is, you know, It's an intriguing title
for the app for the podcast. Cause oh, what's
the, what are the secrets? Well, the secrets
are the insights that we share each week and
the title is always the insight. So it's very
clear what every episode's about, but the Uber
secret is that parent, you're the key, whether
you like it or not. It is you. And that, that
may feel daunting, but no, that's. You have so
much power. So if you can, again, get to that
stronger place rapidly, listen to the podcast,
there's so much in there, that's the biggest
unlock. So I think in terms of the podcast evolution,
the only thing that's really shifted is initially
the coaching and the way of helping parents.
I called it warrior parent coaching because warrior
parent is a term that's known in the autism community.
Going back to Jenny McCarthy's book that she
wrote early on. And I like that. name and my
wife and I both like that because it conveyed
energy. It conveyed, Hey, I'm going to bring
my best self, but ultimately I don't use that
term anywhere because warrior conveys that you
are at war with something. And you know, this
is, that's not the right approach right now for
you to be at war. with autism or to be at war
with your child or even to be at war with yourself
as I was alluding to earlier, the warrior term
doesn't feel right. So that's why right now,
you know, the way I help parents one -on -one,
it's all in parent coaching. And it's really
that term is specific because parents already
have this huge desire to be a great parent, to
make great decisions. You know, every single
parent I've ever talked to has that desire. But
what they may not have is really being all in
and raising their hand on doing what's necessary.
And that means working on themselves. That means
having hard conversations. That means, you know,
standing out and being judged by others who aren't
cheering you on for what you're doing, the research
you're doing or the supplements you're giving
or whatever the case may be. So that's where
the all in term, I think is a much more relevant.
Uh, but otherwise, no, I think the podcast, um,
as it's evolved, I think I've gotten better at
shutting up and letting my guests speak. And,
uh, and I, I think I've gotten good at helping
to guide guests to put things in terms that the
listener can understand. You know, sometimes
you listen to a podcast and it's just, you know,
It's just incomprehensible and people are like
the questions you might have as you're listening
aren't being answered. So I think I've gotten
good at keeping the conversations going in a
way that makes it digestible. And again, it's
not about me trying to show how much I know and
impressing other people. That's not my goal.
My goal is to get the most out of that guest
for them to share their perspective and again,
to ultimately land with what can a parent do
to implement How can they take action based on
this information? What's that look like? And
so I think that's why the podcast has been very
successful. I get lots of feedback from parents
who really feel like it's a critical part. And
so I'm honored that people are being positively
influenced by the podcast and it's helping them.
And that was the goal. I wanted a way to convey
this information in a digestible way, in a free
way, and for parents to take to take that information
and for in some way, shape or form to help them
as they're making the best decisions they can.
And I think it's accomplished that. And I have
no desire to end it any time soon. So we're going
to keep going. And having dynamite guests like
yourself on, I think, again, there's no criteria
for who comes on the podcast. It doesn't have
to be an autism expert. It's just someone with
a useful perspective who truly want the best
for these listeners and to share information
that's useful, and that's what it's all about.
Yeah, it's a great database. As you're sitting
there explaining, and as I'm sitting there visualizing
myself navigating the website, which is fantastic.
It's like a database of autism stuff, and it's
very fantastic. It is, and actually a lot of
times when I do advise parents, sometimes like
what they're challenged with Sometimes the best
thing I could do is just share with them a very
specific episode. So I appreciate that you said
that because it really is a library. And again,
who has time to go listen to 285 episodes, but
you sometimes it's useful to hear the right episode
at the right time. And that's where a lot of
what I do is sharing, sharing the right specific
episode that will hit when you're just at the
right time when you're ready to receive it. Yeah,
I had a question about that. How do you help
direct people to your specific episodes? And
yeah, you do that so well. Well, the website,
it's being changed so that the episodes now,
I'm not finished with it yet, but all the episodes
are being categorized in a more meaningful way.
So specifically, if you're, let's say, looking
for something related to EMF, right, it'd be
easier to find those episodes. So, so yeah, so
right now. It's at a certain point, not all the
episodes going back to the beginning are there
over the next few weeks that all be populated.
So, so yeah, I want to make it easier for people
to find that right episode. Well, the admission
or will it be like a click down or like you click
and it'll be like EMF or, you know, whatever.
Or is it like a search type of thing? Uh, yeah,
right now, uh, it would be, if you go to the
website and you go to the prior episodes, it's
going to list the last 10 episodes and you can
load more and see, see all the history, but then
there's six buttons, uh, that are there that
categorize them. So, so each of the episodes
can be categorized. Um, you know, so I think
depending on what you're looking for, um, uh,
by looking at the right category button, you'll
find what you're looking for easier, but there'll
be a search function eventually. Um, and, you
know, you can always just go on Apple podcasts
or Spotify and just type in autism parenting
secrets and type in EMF afterwards and you'll,
you'll, you can get it that way as well. But
I've had some dynamite episodes on. electromagnetic
fields. And again, you can't listen to those
episodes and not walk away wanting to take action.
Yeah, they're well done. What is something recently
you're most excited about? Well, it's hard to
not just mention what's happening at HHS, right?
So I think RFK Jr. is someone I've met several
times and have heard him speak countless times.
Uh, he's a regular at these autism conferences
and it's not like he was coming in there and
seeing an opportunity and saying stuff, you know,
placating people. I mean, he sincerely is in
earnest. With just wanting these agencies to
do what they're supposed to do for the real science
to be done. So I couldn't be more optimistic
that with him there, a lot of positive change
can be, can be, can be accomplished. And it's
already. I think a lot that's happening. I think
so I'm very hopeful for what can happen. I'm
very hopeful with respect to an organization
like Children's Health Defense and what they're
doing. And so again, I'm huge fans of those organizations.
And I feel like we're getting to a point now
where I think parents will have much more information
about what's happening. A lot of these stressors,
these things that are maybe contributing to the
rise or the explosion of autism. Um, can, can
be addressed and we can turn the tide and, you
know, ultimately there's just so many kids who
are hampered and challenged in so many ways.
And I think, um, RFK junior in that role can
uniquely. I've really stemmed a tide across so
many fronts and he's got to be strategic with
how he goes about it. And again, it's not about
one thing. There's a lot of stressors. There's
a lot of things that I mentioned and I, and I
know he is aware enough about all these issues.
to get things shifting in the right direction.
So I'm just very hopeful that we're getting to
a place where we are addressing a lot of these
root causes in a systemic way. And the explosion
of these neurological conditions and these diagnoses,
we start to turn a tide. And going back to EMF,
we can do all that. but if kids are constantly
on their screens and on their phones and the
dysregulation that happens just from our addiction
to screen time, social media and all that, you
know, that's another important piece of the puzzle.
So again, we're moving in so exponentially in
so many different areas, AI and the impact of
that. But for these known stressors that are
out there to be able to start. Having policy
and science that helps us to make better decisions
as a society. I couldn't be more hopeful now
that he's in place and he's assembled the right
team. And again, fingers crossed, but I've been
hoping and praying that he would get that role
for a long, long time. So to see it actually
happening, it gives me a reason for informed
optimism. Yeah, you mentioned the word informed
a couple of times and that's something that's
missing. It's missing in medicine and a lot of
different things. And I say that not arrogantly
because I was very uninformed. So all the ways
that I mentioned about parents and I wasn't a
lowly person. I showed up even I showed up even
more naively confident that I can, you know,
uninformed confidence almost. But yeah, I think
just taking the time. It's inconvenient to get.
More information. What's going on with your child?
What's going on? What are these stressors? The
idea of not wanting to know because then you'll
have to take some action. Yeah, that's just not
a great strategy. Yeah, informed. We don't get
informed consent over medications and things.
We get small cliff notes of it. But a couple
more questions if you don't mind. Yeah, go ahead.
What is one thing you wish everyone knew about
autism? I guess my answer, you won't like it,
but I would say that that label is irrelevant.
I would say that that term autism it just really
is practically meaningless because it's autism
spectrum whether it's high functioning or or
profound autism huge differences and And that's
where even with my son. I've said this on a few
episodes I mean, I forget the age where he was
he even heard the term from me because I never
used a label with him So I think he was around
15. He's 18 now Before he had any sense that
he quote -unquote had or has autism. I mean right
now he is Profoundly different than where he
was but he's still a quirky kid and some people
would probably see him and be like, oh, yeah
He's somewhere on the spectrum, but he's never
identified with that and that's where I guess
What I wish people would learn is that just take
the diagnosis take whatever label that you have
Hey that that is information you can use and
it's not about denying reality but forget about
treating autism, addressing autism. It's all
like what's going on with your child? What are
the behaviors or what's the physical issues they
have? And again, I think what I'd like people
to catch is it's not about treating autism. It's
about you figuring out what are the unique root
causes behind whatever's happening and focus
there. So I would say drop, drop the label. And
I guess the way I look at it is If this is a
game, and I think it is, about having really
good educated guesses on the two or three root
causes to focus on for your child right now,
I think it's like Pin the Tail on the Donkey,
where you have this huge list of possible root
causes, and the key is putting that thumbtack
on the ones to focus on now. And that's why I
created actually a master database of root causes
and secondary root causes like it's pretty complex
all the possible root causes that are out there.
But a parent on their own is just kind of guessing
and so the key is get a good advisory team to
help you make better educated guesses and what
I do. now for a living is to help parents really
have more precision with where to stick that
thumbtack on a few key root causes to address
now. And so it's the difference between playing
pin the tail on a donkey blindfolded versus doing
it with eyes wide open and in a much more aware
and informed way. That label you mentioned earlier
in the episode about our beliefs. that label
can really hamper our beliefs. And you don't
don't don't allow it to do that. You're 100 percent
right. It that belief that it's about autism
really can steer you in the wrong direction.
And so again, you can with likeness take that
information and it's it's data. It's someone's
opinion. It's it's it's comparing your child
to some benchmark. OK, great. You take that in.
But again. I just thought there was no upside
with me defining my child with that diagnosis,
and I definitely didn't think it would benefit
him to walk around feeling, oh yeah, I have autism.
And again, it's not about denying, and it's not
about lack of respect for a neurodivergent person,
not at all. I just didn't think that label really
served any purpose. So that's where, in answer
to your question, yeah, I would say parents...
Just rethink what that label means to you. Take
it more lightly as information, but focus much
more on where your child is. And the big question
for you to ask yourself is not how can I treat
or address autism? It's how can I, in a much
more powerful way, meet my child where they are
and to make useful decisions that help. unlock
their capacity. And if you're looking at it from
that perspective and dropping that label, I think
you remove a lot of friction off the bat. Yeah,
friction. I like the use of friction today. It's
something that's concerning to me is one thing
that I hope is done soon is taking back the definition
of autism, though, not to kind of cancel out
what we just talked about. The definition of
autism is wide open now and it's nothing but
confusion and I don't necessarily think that
I'm a fan of that But It's like just throwing
everything into like this Autism spectrum thing
and just because of there's a little bit of Delta
and shifts from the social norms that some people
I'll take odd, quirky, eccentric type of things.
That's great. I don't like that at all. But it's
like, there's just, you know, the definitions
have changed over the last maybe 15 years or
so, 20 years, kind of post -hoc of the max schedule
on things. But I hope that... It just gets so
confusing, right, with the labels. And that's
where, again, it's just... Drop it and just focus
on what's going on with my child And just that
label especially especially as they continue
to make changes. It just may not be very useful
and again, it doesn't define anything and The
way I describe it is that right now at least
autism is a label that's given if you exhibit
a certain number of symptoms if you check enough
boxes and that is all purely for the purpose
to get this formal diagnosis that ultimately
enables you to get services that actually then
address those symptoms, right? So the whole thing
is a hamster wheel about symptoms and there's
nothing about the root cause. You go talk to
a behavioral therapist about root cause, they
may look at you like you're crazy. Like, what
do you mean root cause, right? So that's where
the system that exists now is all symptom driven.
in terms of diagnosis and then what you do with
that diagnosis. So my suggestion is, again, step
off of that and just have more of a root cause
approach with lightness, with pure acceptance
of your child as they are now, label or no label,
that acceptance is key because we're all so unique
and that's why forcing any kind of label on it
isn't usually helpful. But the full acceptance
of your child as they are now, can you endeavor
to really Address the root causes as opposed
to just focusing on the symptoms. It doesn't
mean you can't do things on the symptoms, but
that if that's where all your energy is going,
everyone will stay stuck. Yeah, it's not a good
outcome either. Have we not or is there anything
else that we haven't covered? I have one last
question, but if there's anything that we haven't
covered or you want to share, feel free to do
so and definitely. Tell us about how to contact
you for that one -on -one coaching and direct
us to your website. I'll do that quick. And then
when you end it with your final question, but
yeah, it's easy. People can go to elevate how
you navigate .com that talks about this coaching
program. It starts with people clicking. They
can book time on my calendar, a few questions.
And again, it's super easy. And this is a fit.
we're off to the races. And if it's not, that
call itself will be useful for you because sometimes
parents just need some space to see things more
clearly. So I'd encourage anyone go there. The
podcast, obviously Autism Parenting Secrets,
and you go to AutismParentingSecrets .com. That's
the main website. But ElevateHowYouNavigate .com
is where to go for this very unique way of, as
a parent, being supported in a real -time way,
unlike anything that anybody else has. can provide.
So again, I've been focused on this particular
problem. I don't think anyone else does anything
close to what I do. And again, what I do, it's
not about me. It's about the parent, again, moving
into a position where they're running on all
cylinders quickly. Yeah. And just from my experience
too, the listener can maybe sign up for the email
subscription because you send out very useful
and updated emails. So it's very Absolutely,
definitely you can do that. And again, the emails
are mainly about each week's episode. And again,
I'd encourage any of your listeners, yeah, listen
to podcasts. It's meant to be a good use of your
time, a big ROI in terms of the time invested
and the information and just overall. what you
can take away is tangible. And again, any feedback,
I always appreciate feedback on who parents would
like as guests or what topics to cover. So people
can definitely do that. You can always reach
out to me at Len at allinparent .com. And again,
I welcome any feedback. Fantastic. So the last
question I had is that I don't want to sound
arrogant or anything, but so. With 2026 coming
up, I just want to ask, because I'm asking people,
how will you serve humanity in 2026? Well, I
think it'll be doubling down on what I mentioned
with respect to this is 2026 is the year of parents,
parents becoming equipped and empowered to make
great decisions. And through the podcast, through
the coaching, I just want to even in a more powerful
way, help more and more parents see that they
can make this leap. They can step into this much
stronger version of themselves. And ultimately,
I think 2026, the way I would describe it is
the year of avoiding unnecessary suffering because
this journey can feel really hard. And in so
many ways, and I say this with honor and respect,
I know the real challenges parents are facing.
And again, the key is you becoming the best decision
maker you can, and you can't do that if you're
in your own way, if you're making things harder.
And again, for you to take control over what
you can change, which is yourself. Why not make
that power move as quickly as you can? So I would
say, yeah, 2026 for a parent. Avoid the unnecessary
suffering. Bring your best self forward. It's
not selfish to prioritize your own self -care
and your own ability to make great decisions.
It's actually the greatest gift you can make.
And I think with everything going on in Washington
and within this country, I think parents are
going to be in an even better position to make
really good informed choices. about what's right
for their child. And the outcome, yes, perhaps
less people being diagnosed, but the real big
outcome is just greater love and connection within
these family units. Because the autism diagnosis
can wreak so much havoc in so many ways. And
that, more than anything, is what I'd love for
my efforts to contribute towards. There's no
better way to end. Excellent job, Lynn. I just
admire your passion. Well, thank you, Ryan. I
admire yours and I'm looking forward to having
you on my podcast very soon. Oh, sounds good.
All right. Take care. Thank you.