WEBVTT 00:00:01.309 --> 00:00:05.910 Welcome to From the Spectrum podcast. This is 00:00:05.910 --> 00:00:11.029 a podcast about autism. It is my goal to explain 00:00:11.029 --> 00:00:17.250 what is autism. I plan to use a mixture of scientific 00:00:17.250 --> 00:00:21.449 literature, personal experience, and opinion. 00:00:22.670 --> 00:00:26.149 With opinion, I will explain why I feel the way 00:00:26.149 --> 00:00:31.269 I do and give examples. I will provide links 00:00:31.269 --> 00:00:35.789 to various references for each episode. For each 00:00:35.789 --> 00:00:39.609 episode, we will discuss various aspects of autism. 00:00:41.149 --> 00:00:45.409 For today's episode, we will discuss autism and 00:00:45.409 --> 00:00:50.609 relationships. Now, my warning is I don't have 00:00:50.609 --> 00:00:55.049 a lot of history with relationships. So I'm going 00:00:55.049 --> 00:00:58.729 to speak on it from this perspective. things 00:00:58.729 --> 00:01:02.409 that gives us difficulties with that relationship 00:01:02.409 --> 00:01:07.310 component. Now, socialness is likely the easiest 00:01:07.310 --> 00:01:13.890 trait others can see and understand. Before we 00:01:13.890 --> 00:01:17.689 begin, I think it's important that we discuss 00:01:17.689 --> 00:01:22.049 social communication and interaction between 00:01:22.049 --> 00:01:27.730 the speaker and receiver or speaker and receivers 00:01:27.730 --> 00:01:32.629 plural. We will discuss it from both points of 00:01:32.629 --> 00:01:37.849 view meaning the speaker and receiver and the 00:01:37.849 --> 00:01:41.909 potential implications from an autistic. The 00:01:41.909 --> 00:01:46.329 speaker is generating abstract ideas based off 00:01:46.329 --> 00:01:49.290 of a couple of components. There are a couple 00:01:49.290 --> 00:01:54.090 inputs here. Their knowledge, their ability to 00:01:54.280 --> 00:01:58.739 formulate speech and language and their idea 00:01:58.739 --> 00:02:03.500 of the information. And then they process this 00:02:03.500 --> 00:02:07.140 through speech and language to the receiver. 00:02:07.819 --> 00:02:11.539 Additionally, the speaker will use different 00:02:11.539 --> 00:02:15.479 gestures, body gestures, and eye contact and 00:02:15.479 --> 00:02:20.139 eye gaze. This is all to kind of help the attention 00:02:20.139 --> 00:02:24.710 of the receiver. This all helps with the conveyance 00:02:24.710 --> 00:02:29.289 of that message, turning ideas, turning information 00:02:29.289 --> 00:02:34.909 over to the others, inviting them to understand 00:02:34.909 --> 00:02:40.330 and participate. And the receiver or receivers, 00:02:40.330 --> 00:02:44.710 they have to follow along with the spoken language, 00:02:45.629 --> 00:02:50.050 the gestures, the eye contact and eye gaze, and 00:02:50.050 --> 00:02:54.810 make sense of everything happening. Now we've 00:02:54.810 --> 00:02:59.370 discussed visual thinking, listening, and hearing 00:02:59.370 --> 00:03:03.889 that information and then transposing that into 00:03:03.889 --> 00:03:09.270 visual thinking, keeping pace with this, keeping 00:03:09.270 --> 00:03:12.750 pace with the the speech and language that is 00:03:12.750 --> 00:03:17.530 coming, and making sense of the gestures, all 00:03:17.530 --> 00:03:20.789 the social norms, the eye contact, eye gaze, 00:03:21.229 --> 00:03:27.069 Autistics, remember, autistics, see things and 00:03:27.069 --> 00:03:32.490 imagine things from detail to general. So it's 00:03:32.490 --> 00:03:36.009 maybe a different process, processing speed. 00:03:36.509 --> 00:03:40.629 We see the details and then work our way out 00:03:40.629 --> 00:03:45.629 as we're building the details up to make a concrete 00:03:45.629 --> 00:03:50.289 image, a conceptualized concrete understanding 00:03:50.289 --> 00:03:55.969 of the spoken language being received. Now I 00:03:55.969 --> 00:03:58.729 know that's a lot. That's a lot to keep up with 00:03:58.729 --> 00:04:01.930 and try to understand. But there's a lot going 00:04:01.930 --> 00:04:06.650 on in socialness and human interaction. Remember, 00:04:06.669 --> 00:04:10.189 it's very unpredictable too. Remember me too. 00:04:10.610 --> 00:04:14.610 Remember we need structure. We don't like the 00:04:14.610 --> 00:04:19.589 abstraction as much as concrete ideas. And consider 00:04:19.589 --> 00:04:24.920 how Each environment or each interaction is kind 00:04:24.920 --> 00:04:27.819 of context dependent. There are different rule 00:04:27.819 --> 00:04:31.600 sets based off of the environment or the setting. 00:04:32.459 --> 00:04:36.160 And remember one of the overall goals of the 00:04:36.160 --> 00:04:39.620 prefrontal cortex is being a flexible rule setting 00:04:39.620 --> 00:04:45.060 machine as far as giving us ideas or instructions, 00:04:45.060 --> 00:04:49.699 I should say, about what to do in certain environments. 00:04:50.089 --> 00:04:54.129 the healthy versus unhealthy adaptive responses. 00:04:55.310 --> 00:05:00.310 And also imagine the back and forth with the 00:05:00.310 --> 00:05:05.910 processing challenges or differences and then 00:05:05.910 --> 00:05:09.310 exchanging the information or communication. 00:05:10.069 --> 00:05:15.170 And remember, autistics typically bond to each 00:05:15.170 --> 00:05:19.939 other easier than a non -autistic, and an autistic. 00:05:21.199 --> 00:05:25.300 And I suspect for these reasons. And please don't 00:05:25.300 --> 00:05:28.839 underestimate just simple small talk or simple 00:05:28.839 --> 00:05:33.379 back and forth. Now imagine, based off of everything 00:05:33.379 --> 00:05:37.800 we just discussed about the speaker using the 00:05:37.800 --> 00:05:41.540 knowledge, the ability to articulate the message, 00:05:42.019 --> 00:05:45.920 and their intelligence, their information about 00:05:45.920 --> 00:05:52.009 the topic. and formulating that into a conveyance 00:05:52.009 --> 00:05:56.750 for the receiver. Think about the gestures and 00:05:56.750 --> 00:05:59.370 the eye contact, all those social norms to being 00:05:59.370 --> 00:06:03.430 a contributing factor. Now think about an autistic's 00:06:03.430 --> 00:06:07.870 ability to process all of this, to integrate 00:06:07.870 --> 00:06:12.930 all of those components and use them for their 00:06:12.930 --> 00:06:16.959 speech and language. It's not uncommon that someone 00:06:16.959 --> 00:06:21.339 with autism gets labeled like odd, eccentric, 00:06:21.939 --> 00:06:25.420 or they lack emotions, or they're kind of dull 00:06:25.420 --> 00:06:30.439 in social settings. And maybe lastly is remember 00:06:30.439 --> 00:06:34.660 the amount of metabolic energy all of this processing 00:06:34.660 --> 00:06:42.259 requires and the ability to kind of use the resources 00:06:42.259 --> 00:06:47.339 for that. and being able to sustain that and 00:06:47.339 --> 00:06:53.360 think about being able to fit in the social awkwardness 00:06:53.360 --> 00:06:58.019 and burnout. Regarding the biology, remember 00:06:58.019 --> 00:07:02.579 the implications to oxytocin and even serotonin 00:07:02.579 --> 00:07:06.240 and the poor connectivity to certain brain regions 00:07:06.240 --> 00:07:10.620 and how that implicates what we're talking about. 00:07:11.660 --> 00:07:15.379 We need to consider and understand the biology 00:07:15.379 --> 00:07:20.040 that gives us autism gives us complications with 00:07:20.040 --> 00:07:25.560 socialness and relationships. Frankly, relationships 00:07:25.560 --> 00:07:30.339 are challenging. One consideration based on previous 00:07:30.339 --> 00:07:34.339 conversation with Dr. Liana Hernandez from UCLA 00:07:34.339 --> 00:07:38.139 is the sex differences and brain connectivity. 00:07:39.759 --> 00:07:44.930 We covered oxytocin, and serotonin must converge 00:07:44.930 --> 00:07:51.089 in the nucleus accumbens for social reward. It 00:07:51.089 --> 00:07:56.370 appears boys and males lack this connection. 00:07:58.230 --> 00:08:02.610 Further, research lacks for the girls and females, 00:08:03.509 --> 00:08:06.810 meaning most of the scientific literature published 00:08:06.810 --> 00:08:13.379 are on boys and males. As you know, the boy bias 00:08:13.379 --> 00:08:18.439 with autism is a consideration. Mostly, I will 00:08:18.439 --> 00:08:22.699 discuss the boy perspective. Any differences 00:08:22.699 --> 00:08:27.220 on this topic between boys and girls could differ. 00:08:28.519 --> 00:08:32.259 There is a chance autistic girls are opposite, 00:08:33.600 --> 00:08:37.159 meaning they require higher social affinity, 00:08:38.220 --> 00:08:43.809 connections, and so forth. I think the lay public 00:08:43.809 --> 00:08:48.529 and even professionals, the default will be criteria 00:08:48.529 --> 00:08:54.870 A, social communication and interaction. That's 00:08:54.870 --> 00:09:00.370 external. That involves the environment and others. 00:09:02.090 --> 00:09:06.970 However, criteria B, restricted repetitive behaviors, 00:09:07.529 --> 00:09:13.860 is internal, within the self. So it goes within 00:09:13.860 --> 00:09:18.200 the self to outside the self, the environment, 00:09:18.679 --> 00:09:24.659 others, those external factors. Remember me saying, 00:09:24.679 --> 00:09:29.799 are you even interesting? And remember me saying, 00:09:30.480 --> 00:09:34.379 autism gives us the ability to be comfortable 00:09:34.379 --> 00:09:40.080 within ourselves. Remember neuroplasticity as 00:09:40.080 --> 00:09:44.759 well. Becoming who we are and our preferences 00:09:44.759 --> 00:09:48.840 creating this so -called autistic phenotype. 00:09:50.419 --> 00:09:54.600 Remember that rate of information moving from 00:09:54.600 --> 00:10:00.399 the outside or external to the inside. Sensory 00:10:00.399 --> 00:10:06.379 processing, external to internal. That is sensation 00:10:06.379 --> 00:10:12.600 to perception. Now, It is true social skills 00:10:12.600 --> 00:10:16.740 and the ability to process the external world 00:10:16.740 --> 00:10:21.720 is involved, but the barrier is those internal 00:10:21.720 --> 00:10:26.980 factors explained by the crude symptomology of 00:10:26.980 --> 00:10:31.379 criteria B, restricted repetitive behaviors. 00:10:32.320 --> 00:10:37.379 I think for this topic of autism and relationships, 00:10:38.779 --> 00:10:46.960 B to and B3 are most prevalent. B2, insistence 00:10:46.960 --> 00:10:51.799 on sameness and flexible adherence to routines 00:10:51.799 --> 00:10:56.740 or ritualized patterns of verbal or nonverbal 00:10:56.740 --> 00:11:02.460 behavior. This encompasses a lot of predictableness. 00:11:03.740 --> 00:11:06.379 Remember the conversation about brain connectivity. 00:11:06.860 --> 00:11:11.799 and adaptive responses and so forth. You can 00:11:11.799 --> 00:11:18.179 see B2 involves some external. Our brains, or 00:11:18.179 --> 00:11:22.120 more accurately, our nervous system is a prediction 00:11:22.120 --> 00:11:27.720 machine. It just wants to respond with little 00:11:27.720 --> 00:11:35.279 to no work, little energy as possible. That metabolic 00:11:35.279 --> 00:11:39.539 bank account versus the perceived amount of metabolic 00:11:39.539 --> 00:11:44.220 energy required? Do we have enough metabolic 00:11:44.220 --> 00:11:49.799 resources for this task, the plan, the environment, 00:11:50.559 --> 00:11:58.000 etc.? We have a default response. Okay, this 00:11:58.000 --> 00:12:01.960 can be explained in different ways based on the 00:12:01.960 --> 00:12:05.620 same meaning. And that's the English language. 00:12:07.149 --> 00:12:12.809 Phenotype is how we commonly define it. A description 00:12:12.809 --> 00:12:17.370 of this is, when we encounter something in the 00:12:17.370 --> 00:12:21.929 environment, we respond to it in a certain way. 00:12:23.009 --> 00:12:28.769 This solidifies B2. However, the environment 00:12:28.769 --> 00:12:35.409 is mostly unpredictable. So we need, humans need, 00:12:35.710 --> 00:12:39.379 a flexibility in their phenotype, an ability 00:12:39.379 --> 00:12:43.899 for adaptive responses. Remember the conversation 00:12:43.899 --> 00:12:49.139 on the medial prefrontal cortex. And this takes 00:12:49.139 --> 00:12:54.500 us to the prefrontal cortex, which is a flexible 00:12:54.500 --> 00:13:00.039 rule -setting machine that allows us to respond 00:13:00.039 --> 00:13:06.419 in healthy, adaptable ways. Remember, with little 00:13:06.419 --> 00:13:12.559 work, little energy, as possible. The human body 00:13:12.559 --> 00:13:19.299 intends to be efficient. When we are metabolic 00:13:19.299 --> 00:13:23.639 deficient, that metabolic bank account, when 00:13:23.639 --> 00:13:28.139 we overdraw these resources, we remove ourselves 00:13:28.139 --> 00:13:32.220 from the demanding environment, which is common 00:13:32.220 --> 00:13:38.279 for all humans. However, with autism, it appears 00:13:38.279 --> 00:13:49.840 more frequent. We need breaks. B3 Restricted 00:13:49.840 --> 00:13:54.419 Fixated Interest Now, the book says that are 00:13:54.419 --> 00:14:00.000 abnormal in intensity or focus, but it's foolish 00:14:00.000 --> 00:14:04.750 to say abnormal when discussing interest. intensity, 00:14:05.269 --> 00:14:10.450 or focus. We don't have to discuss how this implicates 00:14:10.450 --> 00:14:15.230 or interferes with relationships. Autistic phenotype 00:14:15.230 --> 00:14:21.029 can zone into a topic like no other. It is a 00:14:21.029 --> 00:14:27.149 superpower. Society and education as a component 00:14:27.149 --> 00:14:31.129 of that wants to throw lots of randomness at 00:14:31.129 --> 00:14:36.919 us. at all people during childhood. This is not 00:14:36.919 --> 00:14:42.879 us. We hate it. It prevents autistics from doing 00:14:42.879 --> 00:14:48.399 wonderful things. You heard it on this podcast 00:14:48.399 --> 00:14:52.460 from Dr. Catherine Lord. The one and only Dr. 00:14:52.639 --> 00:14:57.000 Catherine Lord. If the child wants to stare at 00:14:57.000 --> 00:15:02.899 lines, stare at lines. One, Remember thinking 00:15:02.899 --> 00:15:07.960 in pictures. Well, this is well understood with 00:15:07.960 --> 00:15:12.259 autism. You cannot possibly understand what is 00:15:12.259 --> 00:15:17.519 occurring when a child is on one object or subject. 00:15:19.320 --> 00:15:22.539 Maybe those lines are creating an incredible 00:15:22.539 --> 00:15:26.899 and interesting imagination. Something others 00:15:26.899 --> 00:15:32.279 will never know or understand. But maybe this 00:15:32.279 --> 00:15:38.679 will lead to engineering or creative arts. Anyway, 00:15:39.059 --> 00:15:45.240 we will have an episode on B3. In short, this 00:15:45.240 --> 00:15:49.340 interest is mostly more interesting and safer 00:15:49.340 --> 00:15:55.320 from the outside world. Now, consider how this 00:15:55.320 --> 00:15:59.600 implicates making friends and implicates keeping 00:15:59.600 --> 00:16:05.820 friends. at any ages. This occurs to all ages. 00:16:07.960 --> 00:16:12.799 Let's imagine how intense interests are most 00:16:12.799 --> 00:16:18.139 salient in our attention. In other words, we 00:16:18.139 --> 00:16:23.019 don't want to attend to the environment. Those 00:16:23.019 --> 00:16:29.159 criteria B2 and B3 are indirect impact to socialness. 00:16:30.759 --> 00:16:35.220 In the first episode, I mentioned criteria B 00:16:35.220 --> 00:16:42.659 causes criteria A at minimum. Criteria B accelerates 00:16:42.659 --> 00:16:50.399 or implicates criteria A. I need alone time to 00:16:50.399 --> 00:16:54.679 attend to fixated interest. Remember from the 00:16:54.679 --> 00:17:00.879 first episode, the reference to B movie. Now, 00:17:00.980 --> 00:17:08.119 we will discuss direct social interactions. Typically, 00:17:08.539 --> 00:17:13.519 autistics have low acceptance from others, lack 00:17:13.519 --> 00:17:18.619 of understanding, fitting in, a history of poor 00:17:18.619 --> 00:17:23.779 relationships, low self -esteem, a pressure to 00:17:23.779 --> 00:17:30.259 fit in, anxiety, tantrums. Lack of understanding 00:17:30.259 --> 00:17:37.400 or enjoying social norms. Can you fit in or not? 00:17:38.779 --> 00:17:42.519 Are you like the so -called normal people or 00:17:42.519 --> 00:17:50.640 not? The lack of understanding is crucial. Others 00:17:50.640 --> 00:17:55.759 at some point, others try to change the autistic 00:17:55.759 --> 00:18:01.299 person. Because they are different. Do you think 00:18:01.299 --> 00:18:08.500 that helps or hurts? Humans love to inject themselves 00:18:08.500 --> 00:18:16.359 into others. Not interested. And this is especially 00:18:16.359 --> 00:18:21.460 true during childhood to adolescent. Mainly the 00:18:21.460 --> 00:18:24.759 child is surrounded by people that are so -called 00:18:24.759 --> 00:18:31.680 trained to help. I've mentioned I believe I supplement 00:18:31.680 --> 00:18:36.240 relationships by having utilizing these thinking 00:18:36.240 --> 00:18:42.920 and pictures and curiosity of others. I can see 00:18:42.920 --> 00:18:46.359 other people's lives in my thinking and pictures 00:18:46.359 --> 00:18:52.019 head. Also, I can have many hypothetical conversations 00:18:52.019 --> 00:18:59.259 and imagination using this autistic trait. That 00:18:59.259 --> 00:19:03.819 said, I and others, it doesn't mean we don't 00:19:03.819 --> 00:19:09.440 want relationships. Mostly, it centers around 00:19:09.440 --> 00:19:15.019 being able to balance criteria A and criteria 00:19:15.019 --> 00:19:23.759 B. Remember these things, social -emotional reciprocity, 00:19:25.039 --> 00:19:29.269 difficulties with back and forth. starting and 00:19:29.269 --> 00:19:34.990 ending conversations, inability to know how much 00:19:34.990 --> 00:19:40.390 to share, poor verbal and nonverbal communication, 00:19:42.049 --> 00:19:45.450 the pressures and complications with eye contact. 00:19:46.470 --> 00:19:51.049 Society says we must, we must use the eye contact. 00:19:52.410 --> 00:19:58.910 Our biology says hang on, this is a lot. Remember, 00:19:59.190 --> 00:20:03.829 vision is roughly 70 % of our sensory processing. 00:20:06.210 --> 00:20:09.910 Also remember with socialness, autistics have 00:20:09.910 --> 00:20:13.789 a very strict adherence to rules. They're very 00:20:13.789 --> 00:20:20.329 rigid. Also, the restricted behaviors implicate 00:20:20.329 --> 00:20:25.950 shared interest, meaning inflexible. to want 00:20:25.950 --> 00:20:33.329 to do other things. Rigid thinking. Remember 00:20:33.329 --> 00:20:36.730 my personal experience with breaking plastic 00:20:36.730 --> 00:20:41.990 toys, playing cops and robbers as a child. When 00:20:41.990 --> 00:20:45.009 the other child changed the rules of the game, 00:20:46.430 --> 00:20:51.710 basically changed the rules in real time without 00:20:51.710 --> 00:20:56.579 any notice to me. This is a normal child thing 00:20:56.579 --> 00:21:04.240 during play, but it wasn't from me. To the outside, 00:21:04.759 --> 00:21:08.579 one could say that is a barrier to a friendship, 00:21:09.700 --> 00:21:15.920 acting out like that. However, maybe not considered. 00:21:16.819 --> 00:21:21.420 More from the autistic's perspectives are 1. 00:21:21.849 --> 00:21:27.690 Why would we want to interact with that? And 00:21:27.690 --> 00:21:32.230 two, it makes more sense to follow a strict or 00:21:32.230 --> 00:21:38.670 rigid set of rules during the interaction. Two 00:21:38.670 --> 00:21:44.890 separate perspectives. Now, understand the autistic 00:21:44.890 --> 00:21:51.950 phenotype's perspective. In scientific literature, 00:21:52.569 --> 00:21:57.130 or maybe you even recognize this, that two autistics 00:21:57.130 --> 00:22:02.210 can form better relationships. It's easier because 00:22:02.210 --> 00:22:06.609 of the rule setting, is what I think. And remember 00:22:06.609 --> 00:22:10.130 the role of the prefrontal cortex, that flexible 00:22:10.130 --> 00:22:14.710 rule setting machine that governs our social 00:22:14.710 --> 00:22:20.029 interaction. Remember the discussion about brain 00:22:20.029 --> 00:22:23.509 connectivity, not reaching these critical brain 00:22:23.509 --> 00:22:29.710 regions and networks. Remember that about autism. 00:22:30.789 --> 00:22:37.910 It's not just because. All of our behaviors are 00:22:37.910 --> 00:22:43.430 based on the social norm. That's the comparison. 00:22:44.589 --> 00:22:49.569 Is the autistic person acting, and adherence 00:22:49.569 --> 00:22:54.309 to social norms. Let's discuss how different 00:22:54.309 --> 00:22:57.670 types of relationships require different amounts 00:22:57.670 --> 00:23:03.430 of time. We've discussed problems in autism and 00:23:03.430 --> 00:23:07.630 employment. Co -workers require a significant 00:23:07.630 --> 00:23:11.950 amount of time. We briefly discussed romantic 00:23:11.950 --> 00:23:17.259 relationships in What is Autism? Part 2. of criteria 00:23:17.259 --> 00:23:22.859 A. Romantic relationships require the most time 00:23:22.859 --> 00:23:27.220 commitment. Think about the challenges with that 00:23:27.220 --> 00:23:33.160 cohabitat, the daily activities, the amount of 00:23:33.160 --> 00:23:38.220 time here interacting. It's very demanding. It's 00:23:38.220 --> 00:23:41.819 very complicated. It's probably difficult for 00:23:41.819 --> 00:23:44.880 you to even consider or even try to understand. 00:23:46.029 --> 00:23:50.150 Don't underestimate that background noise even 00:23:50.150 --> 00:23:54.910 even if it's not direct interaction Just other 00:23:54.910 --> 00:23:57.529 people being around in the environment think 00:23:57.529 --> 00:24:03.470 about that resting state of those fMRI studies 00:24:03.470 --> 00:24:08.269 about that brain activity being activated just 00:24:08.269 --> 00:24:12.529 during resting states and the sensory processing 00:24:12.529 --> 00:24:18.599 problems That is very demanding My biology kind 00:24:18.599 --> 00:24:21.900 of prevents me from having this type of relationship. 00:24:22.279 --> 00:24:27.900 I am not equipped with this. Temple Grandin, 00:24:29.019 --> 00:24:32.339 probably the most famous autistic person, well, 00:24:32.339 --> 00:24:37.099 in the history of humanity, discusses this, discusses 00:24:37.099 --> 00:24:40.799 how she never married or had children. In large 00:24:40.799 --> 00:24:44.880 part, my romantic relationships the ones that 00:24:44.880 --> 00:24:48.640 I've had in the past they've all had a or most 00:24:48.640 --> 00:24:53.059 of them have a distance barrier protecting me 00:24:53.059 --> 00:24:56.839 if you will there was a distance between her 00:24:56.839 --> 00:25:02.000 and I and I believe this helped this helped minimize 00:25:02.000 --> 00:25:06.940 that interaction as you increase time with another 00:25:06.940 --> 00:25:12.710 person more challenges are potential There are 00:25:12.710 --> 00:25:16.529 more opportunities for just being exhausted, 00:25:16.809 --> 00:25:21.009 being torn down and worn down. That's why we 00:25:21.009 --> 00:25:25.549 need breaks. We often just leave. It's very tough 00:25:25.549 --> 00:25:31.829 for you probably to understand. I can't underestimate 00:25:31.829 --> 00:25:36.490 the role in just how people do things and how 00:25:36.490 --> 00:25:40.029 we do things and how we think, well, it ought 00:25:40.029 --> 00:25:43.319 to be done that way. because we've exhausted 00:25:43.319 --> 00:25:47.819 the process out to discover the one that makes 00:25:47.819 --> 00:25:51.359 most sense, that maybe even uses less energy 00:25:51.359 --> 00:25:56.200 or requires a less least amount of time. Simple 00:25:56.200 --> 00:26:00.279 things like that is constant in our thinking. 00:26:01.220 --> 00:26:04.420 And if you go back to autism and employment, 00:26:04.720 --> 00:26:08.180 this is a superpower. Well, quite frankly, it's 00:26:08.180 --> 00:26:12.279 a superpower in all aspects of life. but it really 00:26:12.279 --> 00:26:16.299 just starts to interfere with those relationships 00:26:16.299 --> 00:26:21.359 that you do have. And it's understandable. And 00:26:21.359 --> 00:26:25.579 now we can even talk about B2, that insistence 00:26:25.579 --> 00:26:29.720 on sameness and that needing those schedules, 00:26:30.200 --> 00:26:34.880 everything being the same, those routines. All 00:26:34.880 --> 00:26:38.769 of this is connecting here. So more of that autism 00:26:38.769 --> 00:26:42.349 and adaptive responses remember that episode 00:26:42.349 --> 00:26:47.710 and the oxytocin Those roles with oxytocin with 00:26:47.710 --> 00:26:53.069 like the pair bonding Something that has fascinated 00:26:53.069 --> 00:26:56.789 me Recently, there's some information come out 00:26:56.789 --> 00:27:01.789 about do people with autism kind of outgrow the 00:27:01.789 --> 00:27:06.250 autism and Maybe this is true But this is what 00:27:06.250 --> 00:27:11.329 I do know. One, as we age and we learn more about 00:27:11.329 --> 00:27:16.990 ourselves, this helps. But two, and I think something 00:27:16.990 --> 00:27:19.470 that carries more weight than the first one, 00:27:20.150 --> 00:27:23.750 than that first example, is we can better control 00:27:23.750 --> 00:27:27.630 the environment. Now, these two things, learning 00:27:27.630 --> 00:27:29.869 about ourselves and controlling the environment, 00:27:29.970 --> 00:27:34.210 are kind of entangled, whereby we can... better 00:27:34.210 --> 00:27:38.069 prepare and recognize. Just understand everything 00:27:38.069 --> 00:27:42.990 around. Understand the environment. Remember 00:27:42.990 --> 00:27:46.470 on previous episodes discussing social interactions? 00:27:47.109 --> 00:27:50.430 Well, I'll just I say that I'll just leave. I'll 00:27:50.430 --> 00:27:54.230 just leave that social encounter or the environment. 00:27:55.089 --> 00:27:58.569 And I made jokes like the gathering will gather 00:27:58.569 --> 00:28:01.170 without me. That's just something that you come 00:28:01.170 --> 00:28:08.319 to terms with. and accept. However, a topic that's 00:28:08.319 --> 00:28:11.720 more challenging to accept, something that is 00:28:11.720 --> 00:28:15.779 maybe even more important to me and is very challenging, 00:28:16.779 --> 00:28:22.039 is parenting. Now think about when autistic people 00:28:22.039 --> 00:28:26.000 have children. They become parents. And think 00:28:26.000 --> 00:28:29.500 about that interaction with everything that we've 00:28:29.500 --> 00:28:33.789 discussed. This is very challenging. It can be 00:28:33.789 --> 00:28:36.349 very challenging because it's quite demanding. 00:28:36.630 --> 00:28:39.029 It's a it's a wrestling match. It's a tug -of 00:28:39.029 --> 00:28:42.849 -war between managing your sensory processing 00:28:42.849 --> 00:28:47.329 and Just the biology that gives us autism all 00:28:47.329 --> 00:28:53.710 of those crucial components how we interact Versus 00:28:53.710 --> 00:28:56.750 wanting to be there wanting to be active and 00:28:56.750 --> 00:29:01.789 being able to sustain that for so -called normal 00:29:01.789 --> 00:29:06.890 durations. This is a conundrum for me and maybe 00:29:06.890 --> 00:29:10.529 for others too. But something that I want most 00:29:10.529 --> 00:29:14.490 in life, something that I want to be good in 00:29:14.490 --> 00:29:19.450 or good at in life, is very hard at the same 00:29:19.450 --> 00:29:24.789 time. And the level of intensity and degree of 00:29:24.789 --> 00:29:31.930 difficulty increases as the ages increase and 00:29:31.930 --> 00:29:36.190 there's a little bit more freedom and ability 00:29:36.190 --> 00:29:42.349 to just grow into themselves while understanding 00:29:42.349 --> 00:29:46.170 both criteria A the social communication and 00:29:46.170 --> 00:29:49.829 interaction and the criteria B that restricted 00:29:49.829 --> 00:29:54.309 repetitive behaviors. Younger autistics will 00:29:54.309 --> 00:29:59.880 have more let's say attention on them. more adults 00:29:59.880 --> 00:30:04.579 trying to help them and this will kind of limit 00:30:04.579 --> 00:30:08.640 what they can do or who they are I should say 00:30:08.640 --> 00:30:13.480 and it is true we already have this this limited 00:30:13.480 --> 00:30:19.160 amount of ability to fit in and we've discussed 00:30:19.160 --> 00:30:22.940 the adaptive responses and how much that interferes 00:30:22.940 --> 00:30:27.480 with or the lack of adaptive responses interferes 00:30:27.480 --> 00:30:32.250 with our ability to socialize and switch behaviors 00:30:32.250 --> 00:30:38.109 depending on context. Remember the medial prefrontal 00:30:38.109 --> 00:30:41.730 cortex. Kind of a context dependent behavior 00:30:41.730 --> 00:30:45.650 region. And another thing that kind of implicates 00:30:45.650 --> 00:30:51.289 this is that excitation inhibition balance or 00:30:51.289 --> 00:30:56.470 imbalance. Whereas the excitation kind of is 00:30:56.470 --> 00:31:00.420 too much. there's too much going on within that 00:31:00.420 --> 00:31:04.619 brain energy and that you want the surroundings 00:31:04.619 --> 00:31:10.059 to be calm. That's why we prefer that. This makes 00:31:10.059 --> 00:31:13.200 a lot of sense if you think about it this way. 00:31:13.859 --> 00:31:19.160 The surrounding areas needs to be calm. And this 00:31:19.160 --> 00:31:24.339 isn't limited to autistic parents and their children. 00:31:24.509 --> 00:31:29.069 this is all relationships and really all environments 00:31:29.069 --> 00:31:36.829 husbands and wives or live in or roommates things 00:31:36.829 --> 00:31:41.130 like that is very challenging just that daily 00:31:41.130 --> 00:31:44.829 activities keeping up with your activities being 00:31:44.829 --> 00:31:48.569 able to make plans i think there are a lot of 00:31:48.569 --> 00:31:52.650 opportunities here to establish expectations 00:31:53.640 --> 00:31:59.059 being able to predict. Therefore, the autistic 00:31:59.059 --> 00:32:05.220 person can better approach and commit and sustain 00:32:05.220 --> 00:32:09.740 the social interaction. Never underestimate the 00:32:09.740 --> 00:32:15.940 need for outs when we commit to something. The 00:32:15.940 --> 00:32:21.099 need to know and predict what will happen and 00:32:21.099 --> 00:32:27.069 when will it end. This is very comforting for 00:32:27.069 --> 00:32:31.529 autism. Try to remember some of these things 00:32:31.529 --> 00:32:35.710 discussed today when you're interacting with 00:32:35.710 --> 00:32:40.390 someone with autism. Don't make things worse 00:32:40.390 --> 00:32:43.069 just because they are different than you and 00:32:43.069 --> 00:32:47.890 different from others. If you are listening, 00:32:48.069 --> 00:32:50.569 please feel free to leave a review or rating. 00:32:51.029 --> 00:32:54.750 In podcasting, Reviews, ratings, and downloads 00:32:54.750 --> 00:32:58.950 are huge and I very much appreciate your feedback. 00:33:00.390 --> 00:33:09.829 You can contact me at info .fromthespectrum .gmail 00:33:09.829 --> 00:33:15.630 .com and thank you for listening to From the 00:33:15.630 --> 00:33:16.849 Spectrum Podcast.