he's ready for me. I'm always ready. Hello, sunshine.
Oh, treacle. How you doing, my motherfucker?
Oh, I'm not bad, mate. I'm not bad. You'd go
the whole episode like this, son. Oh, mate, we
could do, couldn't we? Back in the old days,
back when I was a kid. So, we're in Casa Del
James today. We are, we are indeed. Thank you
for readjusting your recording for me. Oh, thank
you and your lovely wife for looking after my
spawn of the day. Well, jem did most of it and
she was fantastic i didn't hear a peep out of
them they did brilliantly i got a great video
sent to me have you seen it uh i've not seen
the poo video yet no like what so your boy's
got a weird poo toy or something yeah well you
know i bought your boy the splat gorilla yeah
which is still in the living room still gets
played with constantly by everyone that comes
in the house because it's genius even the adults
live just chuck it it's just such a Perfect sound
when it slams into the ground and how it deforms.
Anyway, it's a big squishy poo, like those squishy
toys you can buy, kind of stress relievers, but
just a gigantic poo one. Does it make a noise
or did my boy make the noise? Did T make the
noise? oh you haven't seen the video i haven't
seen the video but is it just that big brown
poo yeah he would have made the noise then okay
yes he had it between his legs and then you hear
and it drops on the floor and then you can hear
jem going oh you've pooed and he picks up and
cuddles it and smiles he goes oh don't cuddle
the poo oh welcome to the house where poo is
funny yeah well this poo's always funny oh 100
as long as it's not on your fingers it's funny
Have you seen those videos where people play
pranks on their kids and they ask them to go
get the toilet roll, but then they've put Nutella
on their fingers. And then when the kid runs
in with a loo roll, they wipe the Nutella on
the hand of the kid as he passes them the loo
roll. Oh, no. I wouldn't do those jokes to a
kid. I'd do it to you. Yeah. I'd never do it
to a kid. I don't like adults playing pranks
on kids. I don't think it's right because they
can really feel like. Maybe I'm just a bit empathetic.
That's where trauma begins. That's how you get
brought up in their psychiatry sessions. So before
we get into it, I watched a TikTok earlier and
it was a clip of someone in the Winter Olympics
at a press conference. Have you seen this? No,
I've not seen this. So this was today. They supplied
the athletes with 10 ,000 condoms. They've run
out. Yeah, you know what? They've been there
three days. We're going to start doing some maths,
right? They've been there three days. There's
2 ,800 of them. Now, let's think about this.
That's one condom per pair. So 1 ,400 couples
over three days are having, what, sex three times
a day? 10 ,000 condoms divided by, let's say
they've coupled up. Yeah, so 1 ,400. Divided
by 1 ,400. So that's 7 .14 condoms per person.
Per couple. Then divided by three days. So they've
gone through nearly two and a half condoms a
day as a couple. As a couple, yeah. Wow. Yeah.
Yeah. Okay. Now, someone posted on TikTok and
said, do you remember the cardboard bed fiasco
for the Olympics? And that was done because apparently
the Olympic village is just hookup central. They
didn't get given cardboard boxes at the Winter
Olympics. They showed videos of all the athletes
going in, trepidatiously walking up to the beds
going, is it a real bed? It's a real mattress.
Now I know why they were so excited. When you
think like, oh, they're going away, you know,
but they're not going away with their partners.
They're going into the bit. I'm pretty sure you're
only meant to be the only Olympians go in the
Olympian bit. It's Olympians, trainers, and employees.
They're all just fucking each other. It's just
a big, big sex dump. That's assuming that they're
all using the condoms for actual fucking. well
yeah it was kind of implied well maybe they're
just messing around with him and stuff you know
or maybe there's one guy just wanking into it
all right maybe they're doing that okay but to
be fair think they're mainly young people and
if you're told there are 10 000 condoms what's
the first thing that i'll hold my head up to
this mostly men will say How quickly can we get
through 10 ,000 condoms? Not necessarily through
sex. It'll just be how many can we get through
doing things with them? Right, I've got one in
my head. We've got water bombs. Yeah, but they're
not that young. You know, you get the odd one
that's like a snowboarder that's like 16 or something.
But the others are like in their 20s. And? I
mean, I wasn't pinning Johnnies on my head ever.
No, I've never done it, but I'm just saying.
I think 10 ,000 probably disappeared very quickly
when people realised we've got 10 ,000 to burn
through. What can we do with them? Enter authorization
code. Right, guess the intro. Guess the intro.
We had no entries. Really? Absolutely no one
sent me anything. If they have, I haven't seen
it. There were two I couldn't get. Okay. Well,
there's two that I might have got, but purely
spending a long time pumping it into Google,
listening back to write exactly the right thing.
So I'm not even going to say them because I think,
you know what, I spent way too long doing that.
So there's no way that I got those fairly, but
four of them I'm pretty sure I got. Well, should
we start with one then? Oh, go on then. Godspeed,
the whales are running. Godspeed, the whales
are running. Godspeed, the whales are running.
They're lying no more. This is sci -fi. So this
is the one that I cheated on by basically just
doing heavily research. And that's, I think,
DSV? It is Sequest, Sequest DSV. Which I used
to watch on a Saturday afternoon. It used to
be Saturday Afternoon TV on, I want to say, Channel
4. And I think I watched a fair bit of it because
I used to be at the shop with mum and dad. So
we had nothing else to do. So once I'd walked
around town several times and done, done bits
and pieces like that, there wasn't much else
to do. So we'd go back and I'd just sit and watch
the TV in the shop, in the back room of the shop
until we packed up to go home. So yeah, I've
watched a fair few, but didn't tell you any real
memory. Never watched it. I only ever heard of
it because the, I used to tell him he can't see.
I've said this before because he would go on
about a dolphin being on there. So it was Deep
Sea, is it DSV Quest or Deep Sea Vehicle Quest?
I've got Sea Quest DSV. Sorry, Sea Quest DSV,
Deep Sea Vehicle, which at some point they basically
went, how can we jump the shark on this? Okay,
Sea Quest, and it ends up in space. So it becomes
Deep Space Vehicle. Either way, it doesn't look
very good. I've never actually watched it. It's
of its time, I reckon. Of its time. I think that's
the only way you can get around it. Well, we'll
never get it. Now that we've been able to orbit
Venus, we're a lot closer to our ultimate goal,
Mars. Now we've been able to orbit Venus. Now
do you recognise the person? We're much closer
to orbiting my penis. Do you recognise him? Oh,
yeah, it's William Shatner in It's the Outer
Limits. It's the Outer Limits. I was hoping people
might get tripped up I watched the episode literally
after the fact that two episodes ago James had
said about it then we missed it in the last episode
for whatever reason that we weren't talking about
so I did go and watch clips of it and yeah that
was the clip I'd seen well done Parker thank
you madam oh my lady Home, Parker. Sorry, everyone.
That's an easy one. Oh, I know it is. It's Thunderbirds.
Parker, come in the back of the car with me,
Parker. Parker, slow down for me, Parker. Park
up for me, Parker. This is a nice little area.
Is that your machine gun poking out? Turn left
at the dogging park, Parker. Parker, I'm going
to Tracy Island to see the boys. Again. Again.
Again, my lady. Yes, we've got to go through
those 10 ,000 Johnnies. Next one. You've done
a lot of good, Sam Beckett. And you can do a
lot more. That was a huge giveaway straight away,
that one. So that's good old Quantum Leap. It's
Quantum Leap. Brilliant series until probably
the last series. And even they jumped the shark
when they made him a monkey in one episode. Yeah,
there's another episode that's a bit dodgy. There's
a few. Oh, yes. Yeah, next. Words will always
retain their power. That one, again, was the
one I cheated on. I made it short because I thought
it was too obvious. I've never seen V for Vendetta.
That's it, V for Vendetta. V for Vendetta. I've
never seen it. It's not one I've seen. Great
film. People lured it up, you know, and they're
going around wearing the masks like they're fucking
idiots. But it is a good film. Okay. Let's go.
And the last one, which I'm surprised you didn't
get. No, this one I got. So what were the two
you didn't know then? The first one, DSV, and
the vendetta. Well, yeah, but only with such
ease. One of my favourite comedy series to ever
come out, Third Rock from the Sun. Yeah, I put
that in for you. It's absolutely fantastic. I
grew up in that era of BBC Two Thursday night
was comedy night. And if it wasn't The Far Show,
it was Harry Enfield. If it wasn't Harry Enfield,
then it was Third Rock from the Sun. And mum
and dad used to call it, you'd be on at 9pm,
and mum and dad would call us out at Third Rock's
on, and we'd come down, we would watch it as
a fam. It was just a brilliant show. Again, got
rapey towards the end, but... ultimately it's
brilliant so peep behind the curtains of my editing
there are two singing ones of this because i'd
planned to do a whole kind of like radio dial
changing and skipping in and out and i did it
and it didn't quite sound very good and kind
of didn't go with the whole interest i was like
okay so i'll go scratch it's been a long time
on it but really the software i use to get these
clips stop working yes you said so you know you
said this to me you did warn me about this that
they give you the lifetime code for 10 quid or
whatever and then they update the software and
say oh if you want to use a new software you're
gonna have to pay because your one's for the
old software so they got me with that so okay
so i rolled it back which was very very difficult
to do and when i rolled it every time you wrote
it back it forced an update so you had to do
it get in there quick and cancel the update but
then when you roll it back that version don't
work Nope, because YouTube keeps on fixing how
these people are doing it. Yeah. So now I can't
use the software anymore because I'm refusing
to give them more money. Ute, which is where
you just remove UBE from the URL. Yeah. They
are now one every 24 hours. So it took me just
as long to do that Guesty intro as it did the
entire edit for the rest. So I would say you
can't. necessarily i know the company that did
the software is doing everyone dirty by doing
that but really the people that are causing the
problem and again we can't really say they're
causing a problem they are protecting what is
basically theft yeah and that's youtube and they've
been in the news last week they finally patched
an error or an issue that allowed android users
who weren't paying for premium to keep running
youtube in the background from browser i did
that for a Brave browser basically put a comment
under their comment on Twitter and went, yeah,
don't worry, we've already fixed it and it's
working again for us. I had an app that literally
just turned your screen off. So it wasn't so
much that I had to go, I could run YouTube and
then I just click this little other icon and
just screen blanked and that was it. And that's
what I used. But then that app stopped working
on its own. It wouldn't do work ever after a
Google update. Of course. And then I was like,
I just didn't bother anymore. Now I happen to
have premium because I don't like adverts. No,
of course. That was it for me. I gave up looking
at shit like that because actually it was the
adverts. It was the fact that you'd lose two
or three minutes of video just due to fucking
adverts. It annoys me. Because all the family
plans were going off onto other things. Who cares?
You know, brand uses it too. And my dad. is like
me basically watches 99 of this stuff is youtube
and he's constantly complaining to him it's like
i want to watch like something that's half an
hour long i've got to watch 10 minutes of ads
yep so now i've got him on the family thing so
he's like it's like it's life -changing to him
because it's like he watches so much and youtube
are bastards because they don't they allow people
to do their own ads and sort out what they are
and the ads that you get in videos aren't necessarily
ads by big brands. They can be from other YouTubers.
And I've noticed there's other YouTubers who
have literally made the ad their entire 15 -minute
video. What? So you can go into YouTube AdWords
and set your video as an ad. So you set your
whole 15 -minute video as an ad. And if you don't
click the skip button... It's just a whole ad.
It will play the whole 15 -minute video. And
some people won't notice. No, because it's just
running in the background. Yeah, then that starts
running and they get a whole play out of it.
It's because it's autoplay and people falling
asleep, isn't it? Exactly. Yeah. Star Trek? Yeah,
let's talk Star Trek. Okay, so where we left
off, we'd both seen episode one, excuse me, one,
two and three. So you've now, I'd watched four
at the time you hadn't seen it and I've watched
five. It's been a little bit of a while ago now
since I've seen four, so I might have to be reminded,
but you've now up to four and five. Six is out,
neither of us have seen it. Correct. Well, I've
started watching six and I thought, no, I'm going
to stop and we'll come back to it. I'm interested
in what's going on with six because the guy we
spoke about last time, I saw he put a YouTube
video, I forgot his name now, sorry, but it looks
like he doesn't like it. Which I'm surprised
about. But I haven't actually watched his video.
The bit that I've watched so far. is pretty strong
okay so maybe i'm just reading the title of his
video wrong but i haven't watched his video because
i want to watch the episode well i mean don't
get me wrong the hate is still out there for
it there's a lot of people that don't like this
show and dare i say is all the diehard fans which
is really annoying um i accept i was one of them
but i've also accepted that you know what as
many as much as this show has its flaws It's
a perfectly enjoyable thing. And actually, having
watched these last two episodes, it has done
things that Discovery attempted and actually
pulled it off. They've probably learned from
Discovery. The thing is, right, you and me love
Star Trek and we want new Star Trek. And if this
is the only new Star Trek we're going to get,
well, we're just going to have to put up with
it for now. It's all right saying, you know,
don't watch it. But we want some Star Trek. And
it does have redeeming features. Yeah, absolutely.
I've enjoyed every episode. Okay, look. Episode
5, there are going to be spoilers here, is the
main character is Sam through the whole thing.
My least favourite character. Correct. I hated
the first... 10 minutes of this episode i was
like i'm gonna really hate this i didn't like
how it's filmed all the weird kind of things
that were coming up like oh i'm sam and i'm this
and it would cut to like this is my friend and
he'd like a pause and do it and the name would
come up all this fashion and i was like i really
don't like this correct i spent the first five
minutes thinking i'm not gonna get on with this
this is could this be where i pull the plug and
actually it pulled it back it was so much better
episode than the episode prior and i actually
quite enjoyed the episode prior to it because
it was actually a really strong emotional message
to it that was done very very well and this is
what i'm saying about it doing things better
than discovery what discovery would have had
is someone literally facing the camera telling
you these are bad things and we shouldn't do
bad things and bad things are bad and they This
had some subtlety to it and actually made you
care about the storyline from within it. And
although it was a bit of a silly ending with
the fake fight with the Klingons to make them
think that, okay, well, we've won this planet
in battle. Actually, not the worst idea. The
thing is as well about that, though, is that
like that male, that main male Klingon, he knew
what was happening. Absolutely. You know, he
knew. You could just tell. I'd like to say the
captain is growing on me in the last two episodes.
Well, this is this is where I'm I'm I came off
the last episode. I know you weren't in agreement,
but I just feel like she's been through so much
shit in her life that now there's this fresh
thing. She wants people to see that actually.
We shouldn't be. And some of the problems that
Starfleet had was this stuck up, perfectly ironed
collars. That line of management and thing wasn't
working. And that's why it didn't work. And that's
why Starfleet failed in the first place. What
they need is people to be human. They need people
to be. Yeah. Show humanity, show caring, show
kindness. It's the little things that I don't
like. For example, they go in that slowest turbo
lift I've ever seen in the world. Her and the
needle in the wall thing. And what she does,
she kind of quickly nips in and dives and lies
down on the sofa. The lying on the sofa is good.
How she got onto it, how she acts, that I don't
like. I feel like if she got onto the sofa, talked
a bit and just gone, and then laid down and just
got a bit more nonchalant about it because she
was just comfortable. That would have felt better
to me than her running in, quickly going down
and being a cheeky little fun silliness. I don't
think the cheeky fun silliness would actually
come with the age. I think more it'd just be
the not worrying about displaying that she's
bored or whatever. But I would say, you know
what? You only see that, if you notice, you only
see it when she's around other authoritarian
people. adults basically when she's around the
cadets if you notice she is far stricter she
is there are rules i can't break the rules and
she actually acts in a much more appropriate
manner yeah but when she's with her technically
her crew on the ship for example they're adults
and she understands that actually i need my management
i need them to feel comfortable around me so
i i kind of get it i do get it and i know that
she's also still does the whole You've got the
whole prank war thing from the episode three
we saw. She's winding the war guy up. Yeah, absolutely.
Having fun with him. She's having fun with the
students, but also letting them know we need
to be somewhat professional in this kind of...
I do like, I'm getting to like her a lot more.
One of my favourite scenes so far that hasn't
involved the lady who's the Klingon and whatever.
oh yeah yeah because normally whenever she's
on the screen i'm in love with it as i said before
the character who i thought i was gonna hate
the most is my favorite character um they are
the war guy has to like learn how to do a meal.
They're doing the meal. That is such a funny
scene. Because you've got the doctor. The doctor's
like, we are doing this properly. Why are you
all fucking about? So you've got the war guy
who's really awkward. You've got the captain
who's just being a little bit... She's being
silly, but also acting the role she's meant to,
but a bit tongue -in -cheek. You've got the doctor
being the doctor. And then you've got... I can
never remember their name. Tig. Tig. The actress.
Tig being like... why did you ask me of all people
to come here because she's like literally yeah
reading from a script there's a brief where she
literally says oh thank goodness i'm a really
good comedian she just says it so plainly it's
like yes i love it it was a good scene and you
know credit where credit's due i was laughing
i had a great time every time that scene came
up and they had to play music do music or something
plays flute which he finally laughs about in
the uh turbo lift um and then the fish makes
it it was the fish it was the fish honest Yeah,
it's a good scene. The Sam episode was actually
the stronger of the two. I liked the one about
Klingon. The fact that you find out that, yes,
he lost his family. They actually just left him
behind. Yeah, that's sad. And he feels that actually
they just abandoned him because he's a wimp.
He's never going to be a warrior. And that's
why they dumped him and they blame him for his
brother. When realistically, as we then find
out from the Jem 'Hadar, Klingon crosses like,
no, they let you go. to be you yeah they did
it because they realized that is what you need
to do yeah they were doing the best thing they
could the best thing that dad could do being
the stubborn war cling on that he is absolutely
the only way he knew how to do it was to just
dump you there and then he gets the you know
he gets the resolution at the end he gets the
the bow you know yeah yeah yeah and you know
the warrior stew you kind of assume that his
parents And family are now going to be lauded
with a big respect because it's their son that
got them this planet. It was their son's negotiation
skills and non -normal Klingon behaviour that
got them in a position that they could now be
on their own world. Now, I'm going to float this
now because I reckon this is exactly what they're
planning on doing. Mia, as in literally the main
character, whatever his name is. Right, yeah.
Jim Bob. Jim Bob, Dave Bob. Yep. They are blatantly
just lining him up to be, he's our version of
Kirk. You reckon? Oh, absolutely. He cheats,
he gambles, he mucks about. He, after accepting
he's going to be in Starfleet, is going to be
the best out of all of them and not lose. He's
good at everything as well. Well, and it's not,
he's, oh. When you're born like this, blah, blah,
blah, and you live on whatever, that's what makes
you good at debates are just arguments, blah,
blah, blah. It's not. He went away and researched
it all. And that was the whole Kirk thing. Now,
spoiler warning for the episode you've not started.
Kobayashi Maru. That is exactly what they're
doing. Just an actual doing it in real life rather
than with a simulator. And it's not the Kobayashi
Maru. It's their own thing. And within minutes,
he's cheated. Okay. Which is exactly what Kirk
does. And as you find out in the films, he's
the only cadet that ever solved the Kobayashi
Maru. How did he do it? He cheated. So it's...
That's how the film starts, is in Tribunal, isn't
he? One of the films? What, the modern films
or the... One of the modern films, doesn't it
start with him in a tribunal? The whole first
Star Trek film that was Mr. I Like Lens Flare.
Pretty much the whole basis of that is... kirk
doesn't want to go to the um academy goes to
the academy cheats the kobayashi maru gets told
well you can't go on a starship then shit got
starts going wrong and he sneaks on so that that
is basically the premise of that beginning bit
but um that i feel like they're just setting
him up to kind of be the next kind of he's going
to be the next kirk sort of character that they're
going to have um yeah as i the klingon episode
strong good storyline my issue is is do we need
an episode per character no i've never liked
it when a series does that if we don't need that
because you run out of episodes and then all
you've had is these these stories i want decent
ongoing story i don't need exposition that takes
a whole episode to learn why the klingon is sad
i don't need the whole episode to work out why
sam is like she is as much as that episode was
really good and you really feel for her with
the fact that she's being told well if you can't
do these things immediately then you're going
to come home and basically become at one again
that's shitty i don't like that no one would
like that so you kind of do feel for her in that
moment one thing that really bugged me though
one really big she's been sent there to feedback
about the organics and she says about everything
about love life laughter everything like that
we've got to learn about them so we can understand
whether they can be trusted now because of what
happened in the past why is she crying then because
if she's having to feed back to all these organic
to the people that made her which however many
weeks ago she said it was who basically say they
don't fully understand organics emotions or any
of that that's what they need her to feed back
why she got emotions maybe they knew how to program
it in but didn't understand that's yeah it's
just a bit of an odd one if you're sending some
what would have been better is but i don't think
they would have got the audience that they wanted
from that particular character is if she'd come
in almost data like yeah very much monotone not
really understanding and sticking like that but
then after this episode start showing signs of
things like rebellion and start showing emotion
showing oh hang on pro like the like the doctor
like the dots throughout voyager doctor in the
beginning dots by the end emotional growth has
occurred shouldn't be possible because he's a
hologram but it has yeah that's what we needed
from sam i think really for her not to be as
for us annoying now i know there's a lot of people
that think actually she's not annoying at all
she's fantastic And I'll say, that episode is
brilliant. Really, really good. It's made me
see it in completely different lights. Still
not my favourite characters. Yeah. It was a nice
love letter to Deep Space Nine. Oh, very, very
lovely. Quickly back to that. I called the relationship
with Klingon. Didn't I? Saying it would be the
guy from the war. But now that actually he's
pulling that other guy in, it's almost like a
little love triangle of all these dudes. It's
interesting. I'm not interested in it, but it's
interesting they're doing it. What I thought
was not so good about Sam's episode was, yes,
we get it. Dax, we see it. They really fucking
hammered it home who she was in the last one.
They could have just left it with the true marks
and that was it. You didn't need your Dax. Yes,
I am. cisco would have yeah that was too much
you just ruined it you just needed that glance
of holy shit is that what i literally think and
let your own mind join the dots and go how it
couldn't be yeah yeah that's it that's what i
mean if you've got an imdb it literally says
anyway but okay but then you would go to imdb
to find that you know and be like oh my god even
better way to have done it she would have escorted
sam out of the classroom brushed her hair as
she walked past, and Sam would have seen the
trill marks, and as the camera passed by that,
the doors closed behind, Dax on the door, or
Lectra, something Dax. Yeah. And then black screen.
Yeah, that's it, yeah. That's all you needed
to do. Yeah, it didn't need to be so fucking
force -fed, you know. I had something I was going
to say about it as well. Ah, the actress who
plays that character. Oh, yeah. Do you not know
who she was? No. She's the voice of Lower Decks.
She's the woman in Lower Decks. Oh, she's Mariner?
Yeah. Oh, shit. Yeah. Oh, okay. Because I was
watching and thinking, the reason I went on INDB,
and that's because I knew it was Dax before the
thing came out because I'd seen INDB. Right,
gotcha. So I got to have that moment of going,
oh, it's Dax. Of course. Which is a better feeling
than I would have got had I'd seen how they gave
it away. One, really cool. Two. the burn doesn't
seem to have taken out many people that really
matters in the star trek universe yeah yeah it
was um yeah so because i was looking at thinking
i recognize her why do i recognize even with
all that makeup was like there's something about
her that i recognize and then yeah yeah you know
you've said it I see it. Yeah, no, fair play.
But anyway, yeah, four and five, good again.
I actually ended up preferring five, even though
I hated the start of it. I actually really liked
it by the end because they did kind of give up
on some of the other bits. I enjoyed her. She
was very welcoming to being hacked by Jim Bob.
That was very funny. She was very much like,
yeah, go for it. That was very funny. He's like,
yeah, go for it. And then just him getting here
was like, can I say this back to my room and
work on it? Yeah. I liked how she was just so
just like, yeah, okay. You can just completely
go into all of my programming. But that's what
you wanted. And it's like I was saying about
the whole data style of how she could have done
it. That's perfect. She's meant to be this kind
of blank slate of, okay, you're human. I'm organic.
I'm trying to work out whether you can be trusted
or not. Go for it. And she kept saying, are you
going to make it so I can taste whatever the
food was? I was like, no, I'm going to get drunk.
Yeah, no, I'm going to make it so you can get
drunk now. Yeah. Yeah, I liked it. Yeah. Oh,
I don't know what to say, really. I'm looking
forward to the next one. No, I am. And it's a
good start. It might go downhill. There's still
plenty of time. Oh, 100%. But we haven't had
Fishboy's background still. We haven't had...
No, we have had Fishboy. Fishboy's was... No,
but he's not had a whole episode. I think that's
all they'll give him. I hope that's all they'll
give him because I don't actually like him. Oh,
and you think the same for... funky eyebrow girl
yeah it's i love how we know the character names
for this i mean classic classic star trek geeks
here mate um oh okay fair enough so that makes
me think then obviously the klingon sam are probably
more important characters than if they're getting
this much exposition compared to the other two
but they had nothing before that but klingon
had nothing he was a real like bit character
in the background with nothing yeah then they
gave him an episode so now you give a shit about
him But Sam just kind of, again, was comic relief.
Now she's got something. Whereas fish boy, eyebrow
girl have been in, out, in, out, in all the way
through. But they're, they're a requirement.
I think they are used as an episode as requires.
Yeah. They're not, I wouldn't call them core
characters. They are the backup to the core characters
at the moment. I don't know yet, but they seem
to be the ones that the main three characters
do something, something happens. Those two then
have to get involved to help resolve it. So it's
almost like they're additional to the main, but
they're not quite the main. Because Jim Bob is
in all the time and in Aldi Troy, she's just
kind of around whenever. Well, there's a whole
thing on that one. And I literally, at the end
of episode five, I almost text you this and said,
I'm going to call it now. That blue -red dot
on her neck, that's about because she can feel
too much compared to a normal beta zone. I absolutely
went, that is going to be one of the main story
points in this. Hasn't it gone wrong already,
though? It went red. It went red at one point,
yes. And I've just got the horrible feeling they're
going to use that as this big storyline of it's
there because actually she's something like a
world ender. When she was a child, she didn't
have it, and she basically sent all these people
absolutely insane. Yeah, bleeding from the eyes
and stuff. Yeah, that sort of thing. I reckon
that's going to be some sort of core storyline
that will come into it. All right. That was Star
Trek. What have you been up to? Nothing. Probably
has been nothing. No, it's legit. I watched those
two. We played a load more Hytale. Loads of Hytale.
Which I've been really enjoying. I played a bit
more Helldivers one evening on my own and it's
just not as fun without anyone. When it first
came out, I didn't mind doing the occasional
kind of just clocking up the points, get my rank
up a little bit, doing the bug planets and whatever
on my own because you know what? It wasn't too
bad. But... Now the game has got significantly
harder and you've got these more interesting
planetscapes and all of that. I've gone on it
and it's like, no, it isn't the same without
having a crew with you. Yeah, well, you can't
do the CyberSan stuff on an easy difficulty.
You have to do it on hardened. And that, I think,
is pretty difficult on your own when you're a
bit rusty like we are. Well, and especially since
I don't think they really rolled back. the difficulty
multipliers that they introduced because if you
remember you we used to be able to do kind of
the hard level on your own and you could just
get about through it and they said oh it's because
it turns out we made a bit of a boo -boo when
we did this update and Actually, even when you're
on your own, you're getting the equivalent of
a four -player scenario. So they claim they rolled
it back, but we always said it didn't feel like
it rolled back enough. Yeah, they never did.
And that's the level it's still at now, I think.
So for me, it's, yeah. No, I'll wait till it's
playing. I think we're going to stream it on...
When this comes out, we've already done it. Yeah,
we've already done it. We're going to do it on
Thursday. So by the time this is out, people
can go look at the VOD. Absolutely. I've unlocked
everything I wanted. So it's not like I don't
really care about the samples and all these things
because I'm just not at that point in the game
now. Unless it suddenly becomes a requirement
because it's too hard without these unlockables.
I'm just happy playing these new worlds. I've
got the guns I like to cool down and I've got
the... The eagle drop and I've got the lasers.
That's all I use. We would have brought the tank
and that was a waste of fucking money. Oh, dear
God. Not real money, ladies and gents. In -game
currency. No, in -game currency. 32 ,000 space
credits or whatever it is. Yes, that was an absolute
waste. I'm glad only one of us did that. Because
imagine we'd both done it. That would have been
stupid. Well, yeah, I was like 1 ,500 credits
off it. So you just, oh, I'll get it then. And
it's like, I'm really good. Giving you a tank
that cannot move the turret 360 degrees. Literally
took one or two shots from a cyber person and
your rocket stopped working. Trash. Absolute
trash. Yeah. But otherwise, you know, really
very little. I mean, I'm really excited. I shouldn't
say really excited, but I'm really glad Netflix
has put the first 15 seasons of ER up. And I
love ER. I grew up watching it in the 90s. And
it, if not my top, one of my top medical dramas,
because it was just so, it was so well done.
And it didn't go stupidly over the top with trying
to be Hollywood love story all the time. I mean,
there were love stories going on in it. I mean,
one of the ones. anyone that's watched er will
know this trauma being i think i was 13 or 14
at the time there's a junior doctor in it called
carter uh played by noel oh god what's his name
um he went on to do things like um he did a few
films he did the out not the outer limits darker
skies or whatever it was called um i'm going
to look it up because it's going to really bug
me and Noah Weil is the actor, and he did Donnie
Darko, A Few Good Men. Latest one's called The
Pit, which was meant to be a revival of ER, but
they didn't get the license for it. Falling Skies
is the one he did, which is a big, big sci -fi
series, which is meant to be incredible. He ends
up dating one of the trainee doctors that comes
to the ER, and they've got such a... It's one
of these shows... that really truly makes you
love the characters even the characters that
are meant to be bad you like it's just brilliant
it's great casting it's well written and then
when bad things happen to the people you like
in it it affects you and i just remember there's
this spoilers if you're you're planning on watching
it um carter and lucy get stabbed in an episode
and lucy dies carter survives and it's heartbreaking
absolutely heartbreaking and i just remember
being this teen boy oh my god i want to cry at
a tv show um so yeah that's all on there so i'm
making my way through that again uh but otherwise
it was it's george clooney in it it is i think
it's his first proper tv role it's what it's
what it's what bought him to tv yeah He basically
plays the paediatric doctor who doesn't follow
the rules. So where that joke comes from, that
is where this basically comes from. And other
than that, just trying to make our way through
this two and a half, two hour, ten minute film
of a choice that we're going to talk about shortly.
Okay, well, I'll do mine then. Yeah, go on then.
I've played Hytale. you've played title yeah
again i'm sorry everyone a bit boring for you
all this really you go i've played a lot of hightail
and i've done a little bit more tainted grail
i'm not giving up on that i love that game too
but hightail has taken over it's hitting that
bit in my monkey brain that really tickles me
and gets me going so but don't forget we've also
watched quite a bit star trek Because of that.
As I said, the film was long. Did you not watch
the new Fallout series? Yeah, we finished Fallout.
You haven't said much about that. No, it gave
me a little break from it. And we've now finished
it. Loved it. People complained. Of course they
fucking did. Shut up. It was brilliant. Fair
enough. What more can I say? It was very, very
good. I'm looking forward to more of it. Yeah,
Star Trek. We were under my own discussions about
Supernatural. Right, okay. Because we, I can't
remember why we stopped. I think it might have
been because we went on holiday. You stopped
and didn't we realise it was like 10 years before
you'd finish it at the rate you were watching
it? Yeah, that was, yeah. So, and I said to her
yesterday, I was like, look, I really want to
finish Supernatural. I want to watch that last
season because they're bringing something back
where they're putting them all in another show.
Oh, okay. And, oh, yeah, they're putting them
in, I think they might all be going in The Boys.
all of them really it's even the boys or something
else that is yeah and i was like i need to no
i just basically i need to see that last season
essentially but i cannot remember a lot of what
happened and she's like we'll just start again
so we cannot start again we just think we'll
start the series again that we were on Yeah.
That's what I think. You're looking up if it's
the boys. They're going to be in something together.
They've been teasing it for a while, but I don't
know what it is. Because they did do a prequel
series and the guy who plays Sam, Jared Padalecki,
oh God, I'm so sorry. I think he's now got power
joint because he wasn't asked to do anything
with it. And it was Jensen Eccles was like one
of the producers and he has a part in it as like
a storyteller for it kind of. And yeah, I think
Jared got his nose put out of joints and there
was rumours that they weren't kind of friends
anymore because of it. Yeah, it's all just kind
of Hollywood bullshit. Right, okay. But there
is something they're supposedly doing together.
Interesting. I can't find much about it. Yeah,
there's been little trailers they've been putting
out on their socials over the last couple of
years implying they're doing something together.
So I would like to... Watch that, definitely.
Yeah, that's fair enough. But as I said, I think
we'll just restart the series we were on. We
don't need to go all the way back. I think it's
because we were getting to a bit where it's got
these things called the Leviathans. So after
they do a whole kind of world -ending apocalypse
bit with God and everything, it ends up they
have, yeah, these Leviathans, which are like
these demons from before everything. And they've
just kind of like big mouths that eat people.
And that whole season isn't very good. It's not
a good storyline. And I think it's also like
the least well -received commercial by everybody.
So it's kind of like we're getting up to that
bit. So maybe that was another reason why we're
like, oh, we don't watch the Leviathans again.
As in comically giant mouth that opens and people
can't ignore. No, it's not comically. It's just
like. It's scary. Like the guy in Mortal Kombat
that we saw on the variety show. It kind of does
that. And then like whenever they eat someone
does a blood splatter on the wall and stuff.
So it is a little bit silly because Supernatural
is a bit silly. So I was just quickly looking
there now. It can't be a crossover with the boys
because obviously Dean, whatever his name is.
James Nichols, Dean. Gene Winchester. Is Soldier
Boy. Yeah. In the boys. So it can't be. I know,
and looking online, there's loads of articles
saying there's a load of cameo crossovers in
it. But it is just actors from the show that
are appearing in it. But, I mean, it'd be interesting
to see. No, Jensen Eccles and Jared Padalecki
are reuniting for the fifth and final version
of the prime video, The Boys. Oh, so they're
just the actors. It's nothing to do with supernatural.
No, it's just the actors. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well,
that makes much more sense then. Yeah, it's funny,
isn't it? When you've had a season run for that
long, I'm so surprised that Netflix doesn't just
do... Annoyingly, it would probably be done with
AI, wouldn't it? But why they don't just seem
to do some sort of... There's this one -hour
montage showing, basically, the progression of
the story. So you can then, rather than having
to go, I've got to watch all 14, 15 seasons again.
but it's funny i mean don't get me wrong you
might want to do that and i would never hold
that because i've watched series series over
and over again but when you think new season
has been 10 years since the last season let's
say i can't at the rate i've got to watch it
i cannot do that if you could say to me you watch
this hour long and it will catch you up on all
the bits that are key that you require for the
next season Boom. I'd be well into that. You
could do that on YouTube. They probably have
it on YouTube, I reckon. But it's funny because
Supernatural was a classic one for doing it.
It'll be like last season. They'll do a little
last season thing at the beginning of the episode.
Yeah. And you'll see clips, because we had just
watched the season, that were never in it. No,
we were like, that was not there. That bit was
never in that. Or was it? Because of UK censoring.
Either that or they're using cut stuff. like
director's cut material oh maybe that he's never
used it's like oh it's just a little scene but
still but aside from that i haven't actually
watched supernatural so it's a bit silly to be
saying it but yeah that's it hightail lots of
hightail we finished fallout what star trek um
oh we watched pride and prejudice of course the
new one well the new quite quite new one that's
got uh kira knightley in it It's not my favourite
one. Sorry, everyone, I like Pride and Prejudice.
Why are you apologising? The series they did
is the better one. That's got Colin Firth as
Mr Darcy. That's the better. So that was the
late 90s, early 2000s, wasn't it? Yeah, that's
the better one because the mum in that is brilliant.
She's the best version of it. But Judi Dench
is... i struggle with everyone's names so judy
dench in the new one with new quote with kira
knightley yeah she is mr darcy's aunt in and
she's the better version of that so there's a
few characters that mix and match and i actually
really like kira knightley as her character but
yeah the better one is the series that they did
because it goes into it more i don't just i just
like it i just it's just like fair enough i'd
like all the weird little i think because i think
it's so silly how they will talk and like yeah
this is a this is an odd one because so many
people will kind of i don't think people give
things a chance now i'm not a fan of it at all
i've seen it before it's not my cup of tea it
didn't work for me which is fine but i have sat
through it and that is the thing that you need
to kind of accept now i for a fair while for
some reason had tiktok was flagging up clips
from the waltons and if you don't know what the
waltons was it was a 1970s 1980s drama series
about an ordinary family in like 1890s 1900s
america so think kind of wild west sort of stuff
but not quite more slightly more modern than
that yeah And the idea is you've got John Boy
and you've just got this giant family and they
live off the land and there's the town. And it's
just little normal stuff. And there is nothing
horrible in it, really. There's nothing rude.
It's just this innocent little thing. And I was
watching these clips and I thought, you know,
I'll give a couple of episodes a try just because
I think it'd be quite novel to see it. And a
bit like Cheers. I've sat back and I've just
started watching Cheers as well. And it's like...
i quite happily watch this because there is for
once there's just nothing nasty in it and again
well cast the stories are interesting it's nothing
that i would normally watch anyone that knows
me so if it's not sci -fi if it's not shooting
it's not blowing things up why are you watching
it and it's like because we actually have other
levels to us we might not admit to them but there
are things i can quite happily sit down and watch
And it's just weird when you find those things.
If you don't give them a chance to, you'll never
understand that. Yeah. You know what? I can't
stand. I hate Dirty Dancing. What I think that's
one of the shittest fucking films I've ever seen.
I enjoy it. And it's one of Jem's favourites.
God, sorry, Jem. It's one of the worst films
I've ever seen. I hate it. No one puts baby in
the corner. What are you going to do about it,
nonce? Yeah, exactly. Oh, speaking of nonces.
Accessing library computer data. Close encounters
of the nuts kind. Close encounters of the nuts
kind. Close encounters of the third kind. 1977.
Steven Pilberg, isn't it? Steven Spielberg. Not
Pilberg. Steven Pil -ya -berg. That's a comedic
version if I've ever heard one. Now, before we
get into it, I just want you to say, did you
like it? Honestly, no. I did. Yeah. This is good.
We disagree. Good. For once, we're disagreeing.
So, dislike is a strong word. I think there was
a lot of it that I found unnecessary. And I just
thought the story was bland. Now, the effects.
Some of them, wonderful. Absolutely brilliant.
I wasn't there just for the effects. I wanted
a decent story to it. And I just found, for me,
I found the story lacking. There's lots of it
that I actually didn't like. Like, bits and bits
and bits all together. But when I put them all
together, it actually ended up being something
I did like. There was a lot to it. The best way
I can describe, for me anyway, this is a film
that tends to be lauded as one of the greatest
sci -fi films of all time. If you look at the
list, whenever they sell top 10 sci -fi, this
appears in it. Now, I'm sorry, but when it comes
to sci -fi Steven Spielberg, I would put Batteries
Not Included above this. Yeah. What a film. Compared
to this, absolutely. Or E .T. Can I understand?
I hate E .T. yeah uh he used to freak me out
as a kid especially the bit where he's found
laying in the water looking like a kind of shriveled
up old dog turd but when he's in this fucking
film yes yes pretty much um it's you're told
it's superb you're told it's going to be wonderful
it's one of the best sci -fi films out there
and i'll put this in line with 2001 a space odyssey
which for the time for what it came up with phenomenal
was the story absolutely brilliant or was it
really quite long boring and could have had large
portions of it cut out because you actually want
it just to get on with different bits of the
story Fucking absolutely. Then you get the sequel
to 2001, 2010, The Year We Make Contact, which
you don't hear often about. Helen Mirren's first
role, by the way, playing a Russian astronaut.
And that's phenomenal in comparison to 2001.
For me, wipes the floor with it. And Close Encounters
of the Third Kind just did not gel for me. I
understand what they were trying to do, but...
and we discussed this with my wife earlier, I
came away thinking, that's not the story I wanted
to watch. I don't care about the bloke who's
slowly going insane, trying to mound a giant
pile of poo in his front room into something.
I actually want to know what the scientists are
doing. I want to know what drew them to find,
who called them to tell them these seven planes
have appeared in the desert. I want to know what
research has been going on. I want to know what
happened after they found the giant ship in the
desert. How they figured out the fucking music.
Yeah, how they suddenly ended up at India where
everyone's chanting this sound. How they decided
that these were the tonal variations. That's
the story I actually cared about. Him slowly
losing his mind and needing to do these things
and driving his family out was very secondary
to it. But that's the bit it focused on. And
that's also my main critique, is that... the
film that you want is happening next door you're
following you're left completely oblivious in
the same way that the protagonist is oblivious
to all of it because you're following him and
they're not giving you any extra information
at all you're only seeing bits as he's seeing
the bits so you don't like other than yeah you
go it's giant A lot of why is this happening?
Why have they suddenly arrived? Why are we suddenly
getting this big amalgamation of them coming?
Which, again, isn't really truly answered. Because
we suddenly get... I didn't answer it. None of
it matters. Over the years, we see that they've
abducted all of these people. And you see that
at the very end, where they've got this giant
grid of all the people, and they're ticking them
off as they come back. But why have they chosen
to come back and suddenly reveal themselves?
Have we received some sort of message? We know
we've received that message of the coordinates.
And we know that after they found India making
all those noises, that they started beaming those
musical notes back into space. But why have they
suddenly become active prior to that? Had we
been sending a message out? Had we already received
a message? Which is why they were doing all the
research. There's so many questions unanswered
by it. That bugged me. Yeah. Because that's what
the story should have been about. It's funny
because you're making all the points. I agree
with every single one. But still, by the end
of it, I was happy with the film and I liked
it. Which is very weird because I'm completely
agreeing with everything you're saying. All the
bits you don't like, I didn't like either. But
I still liked the whole thing. The thing that
really bugged me the most, and Gem agreed on
this, was I don't feel that the end of the film
is a satisfactory conclusion. Yeah. That fucking
dude, he was a dickhead. He was a dickhead. His
kids were little shits. His wife, his poor fucking
wife. So what they don't do enough, again, not
enough exposition, but too much exposition and
the wrong things, is that it's quite clear that
the wife and him have been at loggerheads for
years. Yeah. She didn't really want the children.
What you kind of just about glance from it is
she probably didn't want the three children.
He kind of did, but he's too childlike himself
to actually be a decent dad. She, albeit without
them showing on film, is guaranteed to be taking
Vicodin or some sort of antidepressant whenever
she walks into her bedroom and is trying not
to just... give up on everything until you finally
see a snap and then they disappear off out of
the film but they literally could have just killed
them off in a house fire she just goes off to
her assistant that's the end of it and he's just
completely forgotten about him because i know
he's meant to be being drawn to it and he's got
no reason why he's being drawn to it because
again reasons that aren't explained why just
because he had that encounter is he now being
drawn to that place and they don't explain any
of that yeah you just get one comment that it's
a uh psycho nice like psychiatric event or whatever
he called it where all these people are coming
to the place that they've been programmed to
come to but there's no kind of digging into that
there's nothing you get that weird scene where
they're just asking him questions and he's getting
grumpier and grumpier and then they stick him
on the helicopter before he realizes it's all
fake and runs off um there's just not enough
about that and then yeah he gets on the bloody
ship with the aliens with no thoughts about his
wife or his children that he's leaving behind
yeah see ya that was an odd one i'll be coming
back to earth and i'll still be the same age
they'll be dead yeah or they'll be adults and
be like you fucking left us you left us precisely
it's just it's a really odd ending there's no
no decent conclusion to it it just ends with
him going off he flies off weird old barry being
back which let's face it that kid deserved to
be hit by his truck that fucking kid um but he
snogged her as well didn't he oh yeah he snogged
his mother yeah uh barry's mother not actually
the main character yeah that would have just
been wrong um but yeah it's just this there's
just so much unexplained in it that i just felt
like i haven't had a satisfactory story told
to me in this film and that's not even the worst
part for me as there were parts i enjoyed and
i say the effects i think were pretty don't understand
why all the aliens have it's meant to be the
same alien race they're all but then we have
King's sausage arms turn up. Do you know, my
note on that is like, why would you make a spaceship?
I'm the pepperoni! Yeah, why would you make a
spaceship door that you have to duck to get out
of? Yeah, so Mr. Pepperoni can't get out. He
can't get out. Yeah, the fucking Slenderman.
But then you've got all these other ships that
are all different sizes. Yeah. That are all looking
like they're drifting cars from Tokyo in the
90s and the 2000s. Where it's like, what's the
one with the little flying ones in the hotel?
well that's batteries are they not batteries
not included aliens i don't know that's what
i was taking from it now that's what they were
big versions of it and then the greys came out
i was like oh yeah they're not them then no um
but even then the greys don't look the same so
you had all the little greys come out yeah and
they had the big bulbous head and if you you
pause you saw they got these really big eyes
with iris really freaky looking actually really
disturbing But then the main alien that comes
out and then does the hand gestures of the music
is a different design again. That was the E .T.
lookalike. No, I get what you're saying. But
again, it's a different design, though, isn't
it? There was three different aliens there. Exactly.
But why have they come? And I'm still at that
point of I don't know why they've suddenly decided
to come to see us. And return everyone that they've
basically been anally probing for God knows how
many years. Why did they return all of their
aircraft and the ship beforehand? It really makes
no sense. But even again, even that's not the
biggest problem. And my problem is I don't have
a top of the range sound system, which I'm guessing
this film was made to be shown through, i .e.
the cinema. And even then, the cinema wouldn't
have been anywhere near. What we have in our
front rooms. And I thought the sound was fucking
atrocious. They're in the bloody... I understand.
They're in a windstorm. Great. Give the people
watching it five seconds of windy sound and then
turn that fucker down. No, I literally couldn't
hear most of the... Yeah, you can't do the speech
in it. Fucking Toby the little shit child smashing
the doll to pieces. Why that was even needed,
I've got no idea. But oh, I was getting ready
to throw the fucking remote at the TV and say,
I can't do this. properly setting me off that
one but you couldn't hear what he was saying
something mumble mumble pinocchio mumble mumble
the kids all love it pinocchio blah blah yeah
great if i could hear you but that goes throughout
the entire film yeah anytime there's some semblance
of story going on there is noise over it and
i'm i'm sure it was a direction choice but why
yeah yeah It really, really bugged me. Yeah,
it's funny because you're absolutely right. People
are going to be like, but you said you like this,
Rob. It's like every single bad comment you were
saying is absolutely spot on. You are absolutely
right in every single way. But as I said, there's
just something when I get all that together,
I was like at a point where I was like, oh, I
might have it on another screen and do something
on this one. But I didn't. I wanted to keep focusing
on it, and I wanted to keep watching it. Is Barry
just a little shit who ran away, or is he being
drawn out by the aliens to draw the mother out?
Oh, no, he's a piece of shit. Right. Yeah, he
crawled through the cat flap to get out. Yeah.
When the house is under attack. Well, yeah, well,
the kids, the little baby aliens come and eat
all their food, didn't they? Yeah. That happened
first. And then, yeah, they come back for him.
They come back to take Barry. But... They come
back to take Barry, so they want him, but it's
the mum, again, who has been programmed to go
to Devil's Peak. So were they actually there
for Barry? This is what I mean. Whenever we watch
any of these films nowadays, I get a bit of a
paternal instinct of wanting to care for the
kids. 100 % not for Barry. Not for Barry. He
didn't spark a single, single fucking neuron
in my brain. I would not have been upset if the
main character had run him down with his truck
in that bit. Or the nonces had taken him off
into the hills. When he was gone, I was like,
oh good, that means he's not going to be in it
for a while. He's gone then. Fucking brilliant.
there were positive points there are points of
the story i like there are points of how the
film went that i like it's just too much is left
unexplained the sound design for me was atrocious
and again that could just be me that could just
be because those particular noises made me feel
really just aggravated maybe other people don't
get that um but there's so much more that could
have been done with it and when you as much as
i don't like et because it freaked me out as
a kid The story to E .T. actually makes fucking
sense and it has something to go with it. Yeah.
I mean, I did really like, and I was just gutted
it didn't last longer. When they're doing the
music to the spaceship and it's talking back,
there's a whole, it's like a whole song between
the two of them. And I really liked that bit.
It's a beautiful piece of music. If you go back
and listen to it, it's wonderfully done. But
again. No explanation why the aliens talk in
tonal music. I didn't understand what the guys
were saying next to him. They were like, they
were then, yeah, I understood the octave. And
then I started going fifth set. And they just
started talking a lot of gibberish. And that
was a, it was kind of ruining that scene for
me because it's too much. And one of them was
like, I hope someone's recording this. What?
Wait, that ever went through your brain that
no one would be recording? Of course, everyone
should be recording. I like everyone's got aviators
as well. Everyone got their aviators out. I love
the fact that one of them runs to the port -a
-loo. Yeah, I do. That's a brilliant bit of hype
shit. I'm out. Yeah, there was a lot of scientists
and military people there with no discipline.
Yep. at all i joked with jen imagine the boat
playing the keyboard and he's just standing there
going i was they told me i was booked for a birthday
party what the fuck's going on help i've learned
their song they told me to i didn't think it
was a bit weird he had a lot of pressure on him
okay so they say tonal lock and they take over
the control of the keyboard okay tonal lock means
fucking what You've heard part of the song and
now you can predict how the alien's going to
be doing. You're telling me that you've learnt
their language already. Yeah, you've got chat
GPT back there. Because that's what they're suggesting
is we can take over the control of this now because
we've understood enough and we can just do it
back. Really? No, there's an AI in the background
going, boop, boop, boop, boop. Oh, yes, what
a great question, alien. Here's your answer.
Boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop. That's
how it'd be. That's how it'd fucking be. I'd
be wrong. You just really wanted all the aliens
to run out like Mars attacks and just... Those
little grey baby aliens. Okay, right. I want
to just quickly... 16 minutes and 33 seconds
ago, I said the word nonce in relation to this
film. It's one scene. It is. They go... It's
Barry running away, nearly getting run over.
Barry gets... a nonce near him. So there's a
bit of a road where he first, he meets Barry
when he's running him over. It's not actually
a nonce, it's some sort of hillbilly that's straight
out of the film that I can't think of what the
film is. No, he's not the one doing the photos.
No, no, he's the one that's got his sons in the
back of the van that are all quite obviously
inbred. Yeah, no, that's not who I'm talking
about. Really? So when the guy comes, he nearly
runs Barry over. He's at this crossroad, a bit
of a corner of a road. Oh yeah, she's the bloke
that goes up to him when he's playing in the
mud. Taking pictures of him. Yeah. So then they
go back there a second time and it's full of
people. Doesn't explain how all these people
know they need to come to this particular bit
of road, but they're all there. And there's a
scene of Barry, the fucking idiot, playing in
the dirt. with a large man, camera right in his
face, taking pictures of just Barry. No one else.
And the fact that the main character comes up
to him and tells him to fucking get lost. Barry
does no stranger danger. Yeah, he literally comes
over and tells that guy to shift it and stop
taking pictures of Barry. It's like, is anyone
else noticing that that is actually clearly,
he's just told that guy to stop nonsense. I would
argue, so right, there's two points I want to
talk about. One, what fucking amazing scene when
he gets his close encounter in the truck. That's
a great scene. That is the only properly redeeming
scene for the entire film. When he's in his truck,
you don't really know what's going on. You see
this thing flashing from behind and then it goes
up. But then the whole truck starts. And you
see the anti -gravity bit where he starts raising
up towards the roof. You see. fuses and lights
fizz out you see everything getting thrown around
you see all this this beautiful light and whatever
else he then has sunburned down half his face
which is an absolute wonderful little touch to
that that entire scene brilliant and that then
ties into you have that scene you have the scene
when she's at home with barry in the house and
the aliens are above the house quite clearly
trying to abduct him and it makes the film Those
sections, 100 % horror. Yeah. Chilling and terrifying.
A complete though, 180 to the rest of the film
and how the film makes you feel. Because those
two scenes, absolutely horror film. You could
do a horror film in that style. It'd be fucking
terrifying. Imagine if they'd actually just continued
that. Yeah. All the way through. Now, you can
obviously see that bit where Barry finally crawls
through the dog flap and you think, yeah, mum,
you didn't hold onto his ankle on purpose. She
wasn't trying. God, no. You can see where Signs
got the idea for their scenes, which, again,
jokes about, I've only seen Signs once, thought
one of the worst films in the world. Oh, yes,
let's go to this planet and invade it. Oh, yeah,
by the way, we all remember, yeah, we can't go
near water, yeah, we remember that? Okay, cool.
Just questioning it because, what, 60 % of that
planet's water? And the inhabitants are 75 %
water. Yeah, okay, fine. As long as we're all
on the same page. It's just such a fucking stupid...
Let me just check my notes. Yeah, yeah, okay,
yeah. Did you stop reading... Barry, mate, Barry,
come here, come here. Did you stop reading the
notes when you just saw carbon -based life form?
Do you not see in the big writing below it that
says, really lots of fucking water? Yes, Barry.
I know we all like carbon. Barry, we rely on
carbon. We know that. But there's other places,
Barry. We could have gone somewhere else. But
yeah, it's just... That's just my feeling. I
don't think it deserves the... position it necessarily
gets yes the effects were groundbreaking yes
i like the idea of the musical language the film
itself though i think i think it's it's it's
good for sci -fi because people probably looked
at it and said how can we not do this but also
encapsulate some of the ideas they did have in
this I think it's a, how can we make a sci -fi
film that isn't just running away from a scary
monster? Yeah, it tries to be different. It tries
to be different, but we still don't. No, whether
we should actually be scared of those aliens.
Why were they abducting people? Why are they
probing? They're probing the fuck out of all
of them, aren't they? Absolutely. Barry's never
walked straight since. Did you see how all those
blokes were walking when they come off of that?
They were all real fucking upright, weren't they?
No one had a fucking pep in their step. I did
like that comment. Einstein was right. Oh, come
on. Einstein was one of them. Yeah. That was
brilliant. I told you there's a thingy from aliens,
isn't it? Oh, yes, yes, yes, you said. Sorry,
everyone. Thingy from Aliens. The guy who plays
the robot in Aliens. Which robot? Bishop or?
Yeah, Bishop. Yeah, the guy who plays Bishop.
It was Bishop. He plays a character called Robert.
Robert. Yes, it surprised me when you said that
because I hadn't even picked up on it. Excuse
me. So, yeah, you're absolutely right. A complete
little bit part as well, isn't it? Lance Henriksen.
Lance Henriksen, yeah. A complete bit part. Yeah.
Yeah, it was a bit... I would say it was a little
bit odd when the alien was doing his hand signals
because it was a little bit like a nasty salute.
Yes. I was like... It was very Elon. Yeah. Okay,
well, look, let's wrap it up. Overall, you didn't
like it. I did, but we have the same opinion
on every single scene. Well, that's the thing,
isn't it? You like it for the reasons you like
it. I dislike it for the reasons that we both
agree on. It wasn't enough to make me like it,
whereas you got enough from it to say, actually,
as much of the bits we agree on still are. And
that's absolutely fair. I'm actually glad that
we live in a world that that can happen because
since introducing the whole spin the... spin
the film idea. So it's called the Untitled Roulette.
Untitled Roulette. Since we've introduced that,
this was a perfect one to do because neither
of us really remember the film. We would never
have chosen this film. No, we never would have
because it is just one that would never have
come to mind. So, no, I'm looking forward to
spinning the wheel. Spin it! Transfer complete.
Okay, here we are again. Second time, Untitled
Roulette. TJ, spin that wheel. Right, here we
go. How do I do it? That's the problem. Um...
A 1995 film I have never, ever heard of. Okay.
Strange Days. Strange... Strange Days. Strange
Days. Strange Days from 1995. Right, get our
IMDb up because I've never heard of it either.
Ralph Fiennes. And Ralph Fiennes is amazing.
A black marketer tries to save a woman in 1999
in Los Angeles. How on earth is this considered
sci -fi? Yeah, what makes it? Oh, it's got 7
.2 IMDb. Great sci -fi thriller. Everyone's saying
it's sci -fi. Cyber thriller, cyberpunk, dystopian
sci -fi. Awesome. Okay, wicked. Cool. Sounds
good. So we've got Ralph Fiennes, Angela Bassett,
Juliette Lewis, Tom... There's not many names
I recognise on this. Vincent De Fornio, we know
him. Oh, William Fichtner. And you'll know him
as soon as you see his face. All I can think
of is Armageddon playing the grumpy astronaut.
Oh, we know who these are. Okay, so Vincent...
D 'Onoforio. D 'Onoforio. He is in, what's it
called? Full Metal Jacket. Yes. And he is in
Daredevil. Daredevil. What's the guy in Daredevil?
The main bad guy, Kingpin in Daredevil. William
Fisk. Who else we got? Okay, Tom Sizemore. Oh,
well, what we can do. Who's in Saving Private
Ryan, Black Hawk Down. We could just click play
trailer. Seeing I'm connected to Bluetooth. Yeah,
go then. Put the trailer on. Hang on. It's loading.
Oh, it's green. It's not red. Ah, boo. Have you
ever jacked in? Have you ever wired tripped?
Jacked off. Oh, look at that. This is not like
TV only better. This is life. It's a piece of
somebody's life. It's about the stuff that you
can't have, right? The forbidden fruit straight
from the cerebral cortex. Oh, so it looks like
you're literally going living out someone's life.
Yeah. The last night of the last year of this
century. I'm the magic man. got something to
do with the water sooner or later it washes up
on your beach fan mail from some flounder it's
the dark end of the street how do you like it
now he records it all everything and gives it
to you so what you're watching you're literally
jacking in and watching someone's the issue is
on whether you're paranoid lenny the issue is
whether you're paranoid enough no more games
whatever's going on you have to get out of here
this looks really good this looks cool It can
change things. Things that need changing before
we all go off the end of the road. Okay, I'm
into this. Well, maybe it's time for a war. Okay,
right. Let's stop it because he's going to spoil
too much for us. That is... Well, yeah, there's
a good another minute of that bloody trailer
to go. I'm secretly... Not secretly, I'm... very
much looking forward to that um yeah wicked that's
that's completely unexpected right so it was
a strange days yeah it's not available on anything
even to buy so we'll have to rely on good old
youtube i would imagine yeah if it's not what
we've found is if something's ever not on any
platform at all you will find it on youtube at
some point Strange Days, full movie. Someone's
done it in 41 parts. No, there it is. Strange
Days, full movie, knowledge and facts. I'll find
you in about 1 hour 53. Yeah, is that the full
film though or is that them literally? No, that's
a bloke talking through it, mate, I'm afraid.
Oh, boo. Boo, I don't want your knowledge and
facts because I don't care. Anyway, we will find
a copy of it somehow. We'll find a way of getting
on with it. We'll get it. That's absolutely fine.
We'll make that happen. I'm looking forward to
that. R .M .E .D. Command functions are offline.
Oh, thank you very much, everybody. Thank you.
Thank you specifically to our specifically to
our Ko -Fi members. There's Odd Trots, James
and Karen. Thank you very much. Without you,
we are nothing. We are nothing without you, darlings.
If you'd like to hear more from us, you can hear
us on The Variety Show, which is another lovely
little podcast that we do. And we're part of
a whole network of indie podcasts called the
Studio Channel 84. And who else is in there?
We have Karen and Adam from Lightly Used. We
have... Oh, no! Simon and Ross! Yes! It got me!
It got me! No! Simon and Ross from Who Takes
the Socks Off. That's it so far. That's it. You
can find all of our contact details on channel84
.co .uk, but really email us podcasts at channel84
.co .uk or rob or... TJ at channel84 .uk. Yeah.
And go to channel84 .uk. You'll find all our
information, all the other podcasts. And if you
click on the talk to us button, you'll find all
our social media channels and emails are there
as well. That's it. Thank you, Tom. Thank you.
Thank you for having me. Anytime. And we'll see
you next time. See you next time. Bye. Bye. Thank
you for listening to the Untitled Sci -Fi Show.
This station is now shutting down and will be
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