Bish Bash Bosh. That's what I got on TikTok,
isn't it? Bosh. Oh, well, yeah. Bosh and the
stain is gone. Isn't that bang? Let's sit it
bang. Yeah, click bang. Then you've got Bish
Bash Bosh, which was the Bob the Builder song
he did. Was it? Oh, no, it wasn't a Bob the Builder.
The Builder did a cover of it. It was one of
those annoying kids songs. Yeah, Bosh is that
massive dude who does like, he buys everything
in the Chinese restaurant. I think his son or
someone in his family is like a boxer as well.
Don't think I've ever seen that. Big something.
Big Bosh? Big John or something. Something like
that. Big John. You know that website Cameo?
Yeah. My boss's son got a Cameo from him. Oh,
right. His son, Carl Francis. I can say his name.
He's 21. We should do a Cameo episode at some
point. Bosh, get in there, son, and all this
stuff. Oh, okay. Yeah, but he goes, Bosch! All
those young people listening who aren't in our
statistics, according to any of the stats, they'll
know who I'm talking about. No one knows what
Robert's talking about. I think Rob made it up.
No, he's a massive dude. Are you looking him
up now? Big John the Bosch father. Yeah, the
Bosch father. And he goes, he goes, he goes,
Bosh! Well, yeah, there you go. Found him on
Cameo. Yeah, I told you he's massive. Play it.
In both ways. Play it, play it. Hang on then,
this is the intro video. Hello there. I'm John
Fisher, also known as Big John. I am now on Cameo.
If you need any message regarding a birthday,
good luck, get well, inspirational, or me just
to take the mickey out of somebody, I'm your
man. Bosh! Have a good day. Told you he said
bosh. And that is £32 .27 that you will never
see again. Oof, that's your Christmas present
sorted. What? Bosh! Enter authorization code.
Guess the intro. Mini Monk Special. It is the
Mini Monk Special. Lots of people got it right
as well. People entered, got it right, and...
I'm going to put it down to Minnie Monk's superb
acting is the reason why people found it so easy.
Oh, yes. And James, who's one of the winners,
said, frequent contender, not always winner,
he said... Oh, hang on. You said his name. Does
that mean he won? He won this time. We'll get
to it. That considering... Because the way I
did it, I didn't tell her how to say it. I just
wrote it down, gave it to Gem. I was like, there
you go. And Gem didn't know what they were either,
I don't think. I was like, do you want me to
show them to her? She was like, no, I want her
to guess how the people were saying it to her.
I reckon there would have been a couple that
she would have known, Gem. Yeah, possibly. But
obviously Minimug wouldn't have known a single
one. Oh, she would have known one of them because
I watched one of the films with her. Oh, okay.
Well, either way, James was saying what a good
job she did considering she didn't know, and
I thought the same thing. I mean, it's even better
when you hear it not monkified, but unfortunately
the listeners will never hear that. No, because
she did want to be mini -monked for it, which
is fine. I've got that. Yeah, we're not cool.
That's the reason why. Yeah, so all those very
special listeners who may have noticed there
wasn't a guest at the intro at the start of this
episode. Because I'm not doing one. No, fair
enough. It can be next year. It's Christmas break
now, isn't it? So, and they'll find out more
why at the end of the show, as I'll explain a
few things. But for now, let's have some fun
with the first entry. What is it? Clip, I guess.
Clip, yeah. Roads? Where we're going, we won't
need roads. Very easy. Back to the future. Back
to the future. Yeah, very good. Absolutely. Classic
scene. Yeah. Excellent. Next. I am the law. I
am the law. I am the law! Good old Sylvester.
Judge Dredd. Judge Dredd, yeah. Sylvester Stallone's
Judge Dredd. Did you hear they're making a new
Judge Dredd? You told me that. Tahiti, or whatever
his name is. Well, the Doctor Who guy? No. Oh,
yeah, the guy who directs stuff. Yeah, the guy
from New Zealand. Who enjoys... then putting
himself into the film as a terrible character.
But he makes everything funny. Sometimes he makes
a good film, and then other times it's just pony,
and I just worry. We had Carl Urban judge Dredd.
Dredd. That was good. Amazing. Give us a sequel
to that. Same director, same film, just different
story. Carl Urban could do the character again.
It would be phenomenal. But no, now we're getting
this. Interesting. I wonder who's going to have
as Dredd then. Probably himself. Nah, he couldn't.
i could see him putting himself as the bad guy
as like a camped up kind of you know his character
that he was tight yeah how do you say his name
tight because i can't remember it and i can't
i can't remember it so i'm gonna look it up now
sorry if you're listening because i'm sure you
are the only thing i can think of that i know
the name of the film 100 is free guy i know he
did one of the thors i think it was love and
love and thunder love and uh Taika Waititi. Taika
Waititi, that's it. Yeah, you've got it right.
Yeah. Tim. Yeah. Next one. I say we take off
and nuke the entire site from orbit. It's the
only way to be sure. Well, it is the only way
to be sure. Aliens. Aliens. That was the one
that you initially... Yeah, I went away and had
a little kind of, let's have a think, let's have
a think. And weirdly, monkifying her made it
easier to then guess. Yeah, I guess so. Yeah,
that could be Ellen Ripley. Come on, you apes.
You want to live forever? That's my personal
favourite, that one. Is it Planet of the Apes?
No. Oh, God, no, it's not, is it? You got it
right before. You told me the correct answer.
Play it again. Come on, you apes. You want to
live forever? I'm sure you texted me the correct
answer for this. Or did you not? No, I didn't.
I don't know it. Starship Troopers. Oh, God,
it is Starship Troopers. Come on, you apes. You
want to live forever? You're right. It is Starship
Troopers. We're going to have to check the text.
I thought you wrote that to me. Did I? Now we're
just going to pause. Hold on, everyone. I completely
blanked on that. Oh, no. You're going to kick
me out the winner's lounge. Oh, dear, oh, dear.
But luckily I'm an admin, so I'm just going to
waltz back in there and go, middle finger, everyone,
middle finger. Yeah, that's it. Okay, next one.
Be excellent to each other and party on, dudes.
Bill and Ted. Bill and Ted, of course. But it
could have been either of them, but she would
have known that one because she watched the first
Bill and Ted with me. Yeah, well, it's... Party
on, dudes. What other film are they saying to
say that in? By Grabdar's hammer, by the sons
of Worvan, you shall be avenged. I did have to
tell them how to pronounce this one. Yeah, Galaxy
Quest. Galaxy Quest, yeah. Just go back to the
one just before. Be excellent to each other and
party on, dudes. Yeah, okay, no, it is. That's...
The president saying it. Lincoln says that. Yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, it's just what threw
me was it's, I know the BX into each other is
like, okay, no, fine. But that's, no matter what,
that's Bill and Ted. But then I just heard the
party on and it's just straight away in my brain
went, shit, am I sure that's not Wayne's world?
Because I was like, party on, Wayne. No, but
yeah, but it's the BX. Yeah, yeah, yeah, no.
Yeah, absolutely. Well, you almost got them all
right. Oh, she did a wonderful job. Yeah, brilliant.
Thank you very much. Well done, Mini Monk. Let's
make sure we don't swear in this section because
then she can actually listen to it. No, he's
swearing. Okay, so who won? So both James and
Simon got the guess the intro correct. So James,
this is on Blue Sky. You can find him on at jimbo8e6
.bluesky .social. That's James of Super 8 to
Z fame. And Simon, one of the Studio Channel
84 chaps from Who Takes Socks Off, Simon, well
done, mate, might be his first entry into the
winner's lounge since we opened the doors. It
could be. You can find him on many places, but
what I've chosen to say is on Twitter, X, and
you can find him at Who Takes Socks Off. Who
Takes Socks Off. And we also were running the...
I'm going to keep it running until next... year
basically the guess the logo competition that
i did mention in the last episode and we have
somebody already who has guessed all of those
i think james and simon actually both guessed
those as well and one of them certainly did and
we have matt from a pint of cthulhu and you can
find him over on twitter that's at a pint of
cthulhu C -T -H -U -L -H -U. There we go. There
we go. Sorry, that's going to be family because
I just cut it in front in the middle of you speaking.
Yeah, I know. So a pint of C -T -H -U -L -H -U.
I think that's enough advertising for it. There
we go. Well, we've got to spell it correctly.
He got it right. That's true. Let's not be funny.
He got it right. True. So that's going to keep
going anyway. So you can message me privately.
No guest intro this week. Having a break. Yep,
Christmas break. It's like private school. We
break up before everyone else. Yeah, and get
longer too. Yeah. That's it. On to the next one.
I said you would clip on TikTok. Now, I don't
know if it's the full trailer. I don't think
it is the full trailer of Star Trek. Star Trek,
what's it called? Fleet Academy? Starfleet Academy.
is it starfleet okay star trek starfleet academy
9021 academy yeah the poster does make it look
absolutely shocking and i i understand it's not
made for us we've said this about star wars and
we said it's for a new generation of people they're
trying to get into star trek understand that
fully however when the poster looks like it's
either 90210 beverly hills or it looks like dawson's
creek is about to start playing it starts making
you scratch your head a little bit and um I was
really kind of looking as I'm not going to touch
that with a basketball because literally the
poster is making me gag. I just think it just
awful. And on TikTok the other day. Before you
go too far, sorry, back to the poster. If that
poster had been Strange New Worlds, I would have
had a totally different opinion of it because
for Strange New Worlds, I thought, oh, there's
a funny episode coming up. Yes. That poster would
have to be post Strange New Worlds existing.
Exactly. That's what I'm saying. It cannot be
an advert for a new series coming because if
I'd seen that for Strange New Worlds, I would
have been incredibly trepidatious about even
watching. I would have been like, no. But you
wouldn't think anything of it now? No, because
I've seen what they've done. You'd think it's
just a bit of fun. Yeah. Which is why publicly
I didn't say anything other than, you know, I
said something to you, but nothing publicly about
it because I was like, it could just be doing
a bit. And that's where we then get to this clip.
So the clip I've seen, I'm pretty sure it's not
the full trailer for Starfleet Academy, but it's
a fairly long two or three minute clip of the
USS Athena being attacked. There's a four minute
version on YouTube. Okay, so maybe it is the
whole thing then. And I've got to say, it looked
really good. I was quite impressed by it. The
design of the ship looked good. You did have
a coming apart ship though there. Was it a coming
apart? Oh, yeah, the alien ship. But I kind of
accept that more of an alien ship because it's
an alien race. I kind of expect that more of,
well, I'm still in the old fashioned, I guess,
the Federation just, no, we actually stick our
nacelles on with glue and nails. Not glue and
nails, you know what I mean. Glue and nails.
Quick, get the no more nails. We've lost a nacelle.
Someone get a cab to hold it on for 24 hours.
So it's definitely hardened. Yeah. I thought
the scene looked good. But what was going through
my head is basically we're watching a four minute
clip here with no cadets in it. There's only
one cadet you kind of see who's looking at this
kind of weird digital thing that's overtaking
the ship. And that's the only side of the cadets
we see. So it's like, is that? good does that
mean actually these cadets exist in the show
but actually it's not focusing on them or is
it they've just chosen the strongest scene that
they've got from the series and that's what they're
showing that's the worry isn't it is this the
most fun bit exactly because i reckon you probably
could have made a decent trailer out of section
30 whatever it was oh you could have made a good
trailer out of that and we've seen that oh no
it's not good I have a question. What year is
it? It's after... It's after the burn. It's the
most... It's basically following the end of Discovery.
They've reformed to Starfleet and it's the reformed
Starfleet. The most future version. Why does
she need glasses? Don't go down that. Oh my God,
you'll get killed online for that one. Why? Well,
why did James T. Kirk need glasses in the Star
Trek films? Bones gives him literal glasses as
a present because he's allergic to, I think they
called it... uh retinol which is actually something
that you can now buy i think for your hair and
in the in the world um right reticulase or something
like that i think he calls it he's allergic to
the drug that they use to fix your eyes basically
and it's a drug it's not just surgery yeah i
presume so i'm just going by what i remember
of um well which one is it it is the search for
spock i'm pretty sure yeah because it's his birthday
and he's depressed um well like but yeah To be
fair, it might just be a choice. Some people,
you remember the entire premise of Star Trek,
the original series and the original series films
is Bones will not go in a transporter. He hates
the transporter. There will be people out there
that just don't want to have things done. Well,
because he knows if he steps into that transporter,
he is dead. Yeah. And it's not him on the other
side. Well, yes, that's true. I would put it
down to that. And I think a lot of people have
put that down as their kind of argument is because
glasses still exist and why wouldn't you? Well,
to be fair, throughout the entire TNG, Geordi
has a visor. Yet when they get to the modern
films, it's like, can we just take the visor
away and give him funky robot eyes? And they
do that. Yeah. Well, that's kind of an implication
that they've solved blindness in him. Or they've
certainly miniaturized the particular technology
that he needed and utilized. Which he probably
did himself. True. Or dated, isn't it? But either
way, I'm not too fussed about the glasses. I
don't really care about them. I think that's
just a stylistic choice. And you know what? If
someone still wants to wear glasses, then...
I mean, I get it, though, because the actors
might need glasses. So if you're going to make
it in canon, they are actors who aren't in the
50 millionth century or whatever. And to be fair,
I would want to wear glasses if I was on that
fucking bridge. Because just like Discovery,
apparently in the future, they've ran out of
light bulbs. So the bridge has to just be in
permanent dark. Can you imagine how much that
would fuck your eyes up? They love LEDs, though.
They love LED strips. Yeah, but the bridge is
dark. It's like Star Trek Next Generation. You
walk onto the bridge, it's lovely. Daylight.
Oh, you know what? It's the night shift. Computer.
Lower light level. Nice. Discovery. This looks
like it's always in permanent bloody darkness
on the bridge. Do you want to know my unfiltered,
honest opinion of the show? Go on. It's absolute...
I'd know when it starts. Oh, sorry. That's okay.
I talk about my knob, I don't know where it starts,
I don't know where it finishes. Well, we know
where it starts, but it's so big we don't know
where it ends. Oh, thank you. You're welcome.
You're stroking something other than that. We're
being nice to each other nowadays. We're not
being horrible anymore. I'm calling a ceasefire
on being horrible to each other. Oh, Starfleet
Academy's already out. What? Oh, no, it's a teaser.
Sorry. Yeah, the teaser's the thing I was talking
about. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Paramount's just...
Four minutes or something. Yeah, fair enough.
We don't care. Anyway, what have I been watching
this week? See how when he's glazed over, he
sees fire, comment on that, mate. Right, okay.
What have I been watching? Three things. One,
totally not sci -fi at all. Boston Legal, I've
started watching because William Shatner's in
it. I know the name of it. Legal drama, really
fun. Bit of drama, bit of comedy thrown in. Really
good fun. Well worth it on Netflix. No, Disney
at the moment. I have seen two films that are
sci -fi. Go on. Would you like to hear about
the old one or the new one first? I'll go for
the old one first. Phenomenon with John Travolta.
Never heard of it. You never heard of it? Oh,
okay, right. So John Travolta plays a dumbass
mechanic who's a bit thick. But everyone in the
town knows him. He's after some woman who's just
moved in. Then after his birthday party in the
pub one day, he walks outside and sees a flash
in the sky, hears a bang and gets thrown backwards,
wakes up and then can't sleep. his brain now
learns everything and he just every night he's
just reading books and then he's like realizing
all of the things that he wants to do so it's
like he's improved solar he's improved fertilizers
and he's just constantly like powering through
these books and things and there's an emergency
situation and at one point where he learns portuguese
in 20 minutes to save a child oh these these
weird things and yeah it's basically a brain
yak is something turned into brain yeah but think
about um is it limitless the film they did modern
day film that they did about a drug that makes
you super smart while you have it and whatever
um turns off the the limits of the brain or whatever
anyway that's the idea it's meant to be eventually
develops things like telekinesis he's able to
move pages and a pen with the power of his mind
let me guess it goes too far and he starts like
it explodes well i was really enjoying i think
this is really good it could have a really nice
ending where he kind of solves kind of hunger
for the world or he solves something or then
they take the power away but what he's he's done
for good or he chooses to do something for good
before losing the power something like that would
have been brilliant okay you want to know the
ending he flies off to space no it's a brain
tumor oh yeah brain tumor and it just turns out
that apparently it's now making his brain operate
at a super high level that they've never seen
before so he's gonna die so the ending end 15
20 minutes of the film is basically a doctor
comes to visit him saying we can't do surgery
but we want to do open brain surgery on you to
explore it we might be able to prolong your life
a bit more he says no i just want to go home
and die and just live out the rest of my few
days that i've got and then the surgeon goes
to court says no we're forcing you to have brain
surgery in the court agreed because of course
that happens in the real world uh so he escapes
prison and then goes to his person that he's
persuaded to be his girlfriend who also has two
little kids by the way who now love him to bits
to go and die at her house right and that's breaking
the kids of the heart yeah he then dies and that's
how it ends and then everyone's happier uh forest
whitaker's in it okay really looking young and
less saggy than he looks now um and he's brilliant
in it and now he's changed all these little people's
lives but that is literally it so it's gone from
this is really cool kind of where could we go
with this to no it's brain brain tumor and he's
always dead so the alien zap gave him a tumor
yeah it wasn't an alien zap that was all all
linked down to the flashing light you saw was
the tumor oh yeah exactly it's just like you
could have done so much more with this you could
have gone in a completely different direction
with it it was an okay film i was really enjoying
it up until that point The right fucking downer.
What's it called again? Phenomenon. Yeah. Okay.
So I watched that. And then I also watched a
modern film. I finally got around to watching
the Fantastic Four First Step. Oh, yes, you did.
I won't ruin it for you because obviously I know
you want to watch it. I really enjoyed it. And
as much as, oh, my God, if you read the reviews,
people say, oh, the effects are brilliant. I'm
looking at it going. What fucking film did they
watch? I won't believe that for a moment. It's
Disney. There are bits where you're seeing the
thing walking along where you can clearly see
he wasn't in that scene. Disney is one step above
Alien Rubicon. Yeah. They are absolutely flipping
dreadful. The Silver Surfer Lady does not look
good in it. She looks good in the trailer. When
you see her up close in it. really not because
i i've got to say i love that trailer where she's
saying about um galactus coming you know he does
which does a little speech so the way they've
done that in the trailer so cool yeah that's
yeah up close it's not as playstation 2 ish oh
no it's it's it's at least playstation 3 ish
no it it's not terrible it's absolutely acceptable
but when you consider we've seen the films Going
all the way back to almost the early 2000s with
Iron Man and how good that first Iron Man looked.
We've gone backwards. That looks no different
than the Silver Surfer film, which is quite a
few years ago now. That looks just the same.
No, when you see it on screen, you'll see it's
markably better than that. Well, the thing is,
we've said this before, Disney are pumping out
so much tosh, they're not giving. any of the
artists enough time to make it good. So they
get given enough time per scene. You get it as
good as you can. Next one. Next one. We've got
to get this film. We've got a turnaround of one
year for this film. Well, this is it. And this
is what's happened there. There's some bits that
look really good and then some bits that you
just look and go, that's really ropey. Why did
they, how did they just say that that was the
best? Yeah, no. Otherwise though, really enjoyed
it. Really, really cool how it's kind of this
50s, 60s -esque. futuristic world so it's modern
day but it's still stuck in the 50s and 60s like
the comic books looked it's really fun and some
of the bits they do in it all the actors really
good really good choice for all of them um i
can't really give it a negative except for those
very roby mine and points it's really good and
well worth watching how many after credit scenes
uh two do what do i need to know before i go
into this nothing nothing at all okay thank god
for that i don't have to watch like six films
to understand something no no no no there's nothing
at all the two after credit scenes don't ruin
the film for you um one is just comedic the first
one you come to uh stupid comedic actually made
me laugh quite a lot as a dad so you'll appreciate
it and the final final final after scene is um
the back of dr doom basically so it's going to
tie into avengers dr doom so this is the film
to watch prior to dr doom because obviously there's
going to be some sort of tie between their earth
and whatever earth avengers yeah because they're
in a different dimension i'm assuming yeah it's
a different earth to the earth that we've already
known about for the original because i think
that's how they're bringing the x -men into it
yeah i would imagine there'll be their own Earth
as well, and there'll be some sort of multiversal
collision. Because Spider -Man, if you remember
the end of The Last Spider -Man, and the end...
Well, I haven't seen the most recent Venom. I
know they're different things, but the Venom
one where he kind of warps to a different reality,
which has got Spider -Man in it, and then he
walks back again. Oh, yes, you're right. But
that was the end of the second one, I want to
say, and I don't remember seeing the third one.
I enjoyed the latest Venom. It's nowhere near
as good as the other two. The first two were
brilliant. The third one is, you could have done
a lot better with this. I don't remember if I've
seen it or not. I don't think I have. It's where
there's multiple different types of Venom. Yeah,
I'm going to have to watch it to find out. But
I have enjoyed the ones I have seen. But by all
accounts, I've heard rumours of Alan Richardson
taking the Venom mantle in the actual Marvel
Universe as an alternate reality version of him.
See, I would have seen him as Sandman. When you
consider what Sandman looks like in the... Not
the Sam Raimi universe, but whichever one. He
was in Spider -Man 2, wasn't he? Which was the
Tobey Maguire. Yeah, but they've brought him
back already. Oh, yes, you're right. But again,
I really like that final Spider -Man. No, no,
the Spider -Man films are the best ones. The
Tobey Maguire comes along with the other two.
Brilliant. Really, really clever. Really worth
watching that one. Okay, the ones I like. I haven't
seen the most recent. I keep saying Guardians
of the Galaxy. I still haven't seen it. Probably
will never will. I really like the Spider -Mans.
I really like the Deadpools. I think they're
great. Logan was a fantastic Wolverine film and
also really liked Wolverine in the Deadpool one.
But I think they could now change the Wolverine
to being Cavill. They could bring in that old
Cavill. They could bring that in and I think
that would be really cool. Who was it I saw as
a new Batman? Alan Richardson might have been
linked to Batman as well at another point. No,
he was. That's what he was linked to. Which would
have liked that too. Difficulty with the Cavalry
is you've just had Deadpool versus Wolverine,
which is done amazingly at the cinema. So why
wouldn't you say, let's keep Reynolds and Hugh
Jackman still, bring them into... Fantastic Four
First Steps version of their Earth with whatever
this Doctor Doom Earth is going to be and then
the modern adventure and then tie them all together
because you've already got your two actors that
people are going to go and see for those two
particular roles. So it doesn't even matter which
X -Men route they go. If they just recast all
the X -Men from scratch except for Wolverine,
it really doesn't matter. It will be whoever's
turned up. Well, it will be the X -Men versions
from the various Deadpool. I think it, yes. I've
seen rumours of Frasier coming back as Beast.
Oh, really? He's Hank? Yeah. So, you know, the
other guys are still around as well. Of course
they are. So Picard and... I can't remember Picard.
Patrick Stewart. Yeah, but I would say Patrick
Stewart's too old now. yeah i mean looking at
him in oh god what was our multiverse of madness
he even in that he looked well they'd use the
younger versions and they would use uh the two
james mcavoy yeah and the other guy which is
fine because wolverine turned up in that and
in fact you could tie he tells him to fuck off
doesn't he yeah so you could kind of tie it into
that that world anyway somehow but thinking you'd
have to look at the deadpool 2 and how they tied
it in because you'd obviously got um Oh, what's
the name of the cyborg bloke? We're so good at
this, aren't we, guys? I just think it's better.
We've gone on such a tangent and we're doing
such an us thing of just going, do you remember
that guy? But yeah, he was in this other thing.
And he was in this thing. And we go on and we
don't know the name of the thing. Josh Brolin
as Cable. So we've got Cable in there as well,
which didn't turn up in Deadpool Wolverine, which
I would have thought. Which he was gutted about
too. Josh Brolin's been an infuse saying, they
just didn't ask me to come back. Which is really
sprightly because he's a brilliant character.
Because everyone loved him. I can understand
why, though, because the Deadpool Wolverine story
just didn't need him. If you think, it didn't
need any of the characters from any of the other
films from Deadpool for it, did it? Really? No,
probably not. So, except for the party scene
with his friends at the house at the beginning,
that's it. The rest of it is just him. Anyway,
gone on too long about it. We were talking about
it. First, Fantastic Four, well worth watching.
And that's it. That's all I've watched. Oh, okay.
And we've been playing Peak. Oh, we've been playing
peak, yeah. We even played chess in the peak
for some reason. And we played chess in the peak
as well, which is really frustrating. We're really
tired. We should go to bed. Let's spend 45 minutes
playing chess. And it was very much like, I move,
you go checkmate, I move, you're checkmating,
I move, you're checkmating. And then you still
won. Yeah, well, only just. Only just. I've asked
for Christmas for a computerised chess set so
I can learn to actually play chess. Because I
was thinking, that's probably the first ever
time I've played a real game of chess. It may
be the first time I've ever won as being an adult.
Because if you play Miranda, she will win. Right,
gotcha. What have you watched, Rob? What have
I watched? Okay, let me get my notes. So we have
finally caught up with Stranger Things just in
time. So we did all of the previous seasons and
the new one was out for like a day. Yeah. So
we were watching like the last episode before
the new one. All I've seen is critics slam it.
Well, no. What? Yeah. I think it's wicked. It's
a little bit frustrating because it's very easy
to spoil. Both Brad and I had similar spoilers.
i don't even want to say because it was spoiled
but it's like people saying oh look out for this
in this episode or remember you'll need to remember
something from another episode or remember to
do you know remember this character or um do
you remember this thing that happened right little
comments that you see on facebook that are not
meant to be that they're purposely trying to
spoil it but by being i didn't spoil it i didn't
say but because you mentioned this thing or to
do this or this you've accidentally done it yeah
so that happened to miranda because then she
clocked straight away what it was and it's like
oh it's such a shame when things get spoiled
yeah absolutely which is why we always say spoiler
warning yeah well we do our best on here but
we do spoil some things so not not enough for
it to ruin it but also like a couple of kind
of surprises weren't as big surprises as they
could have been yeah that makes sense no no i
understand that so i'm like but i've got a blanket
on all things i won't go on facebook when i want
to watch something i just don't go on it so i
don't get things yeah that's fair enough it's
very hard isn't it in the world of social media
the day after an episode is aired you're basically
screwed um me and jem have been taking k through
watching traitors and we watched the celebrity
season first and obviously we were about a month
late so as we started watching it it was coming
to the end of uh broadcast and literally i think
we got to episode two i went to work the next
day turned on turn on social media oh look xxx1
oh Well, now I know. So now I've got to pretend
I don't know. And then literally the next day,
Jim said, yeah, someone spoiled it for me as
well. Oh, it was on heart radio on the way to
work. Oh, that's out of order. You can't stop
the radio. No, especially when she listens to
it to go to work. So it's like, yeah, you're
stuffed, really. That's a shame, really. Because
films doesn't seem to happen with so much nowadays.
But TV shows, people love spoiling TV shows.
That's not fair. Some people wait for the whole
season to come out to watch them all in one go.
But I think that's more down to the fact that
terrestrial TV, even cable TV or satellite TV,
whatever you want to call it now, they're so
little on. The shows people are ruining. are
the highlights of the year. You think how many
shows we used to watch and series that would
be on throughout an entire year on TV. Now everything's
on streaming and it's just free to access and
get straight onto it. They expect everyone to
have watched it day one. Whereas if you think
about it, things like, oh, if you missed this
episode of, well, do Estenders, not that I watched
Estenders. If you missed one of the... weekday
version of estenders yeah it was fine because
you knew there was a sunday omnibus that you
could watch the sunday omnibus to catch up and
then the week later you'd hear about it oh this
is what's going on but now everything's streaming
and immediately kind of here's oh it's on ioplay
so you can catch up whether you've missed it
within an hour half an hour a week's time people
don't care about spoiling things but i also think
there's just not the number of shows yeah that
there were when it was just normal television
it does feel like that it does feel like when
when a show is popping off it does kind of feel
like there's only one show on the planet yeah
like game of thrones it felt like that was the
only show anyone i know you didn't watch it but
it felt like it was the only show anyone in the
world was watching but this is to do with ratings
isn't it and the same with cinema if a film studio
knows that this big a star kind of um a celeb
alias celeb kind of film is coming out full of
people uh i was going to say the expendables
but they were shit um let's just say like there's
going to be this hollywood summer blockbusters
coming out and you've got a film that you know
is good but it's never going to be a summer blockbuster
you're going to say i'll push that to a couple
of months later and we'll release it then instead,
because you get the better chance. And in TV
world, it was always about ratings and who's
watching what channel. So BBC One, BBC Two, BBC
Three, BBC Four, not BBC Four, BBC One, BBC Two,
ICV, Channel Four, Channel Five eventually, all
would go against each other. So you would get...
Oh, BBC One's got a drama on that they've just
released. Oh, God, what am I going to watch?
That or what's on ITV? They've been done at the
same time. Streaming doesn't care about that
because it's that immediate access. So people
can go, well, I'm going to watch this because
it's out on Netflix. I'm going to then binge
watch it because it's also out on Paramount,
this new show. It doesn't matter that they've
come out at the same time anymore because you
could just swap between it. Whereas TV relied
on... If we get the better ratings, people are
going to come to our channel. So we will release
more at the same time. So we do conflict with
other channels. Yeah. Still, we don't like spoilers.
No. I do my best on here to tell people about
spoilers. But how long do you reckon is the time
before it's safe to spoil something or it's fair
game? I reckon something big, let's say like
Stranger Things, I think a month. i think a month
is a fair amount because if it's such a big thing
that people genuinely care about and you're you
care about watching it you're going to watch
it pretty quick yeah but i would say a month
is fair because some people aren't going to go
especially they've got parents and little kids
and it's like you know what i've got a little
kid the only time i'm going to get to watch this
is when really i should be going to sleep because
i'm fucking exhausted it means you are sometimes
going to be waiting two or three days, maybe
even a couple of weeks, and then you're going
to go, well, I'm going to have to binge the next
few episodes in one go when I get a chance to.
So that month, I think, is fair enough. I don't
think anything's shorter than that because, yeah,
that just gives the fans a chance. And after
a month, if you haven't watched it, you probably
don't entirely care that much if you know what's
going to happen. Yeah. Yeah, I guess when thinking
about it, it can take Miranda and I three nights
to watch a film. Yeah, I know the feeling. Yeah.
That's all we've watched, but I have played three
cool games. Just got to say, in Stranger Things,
is the bad guy still the Vengabus? Oh, sorry.
Yeah, and he's coming. The Vengabus is coming
with the Vengaboy. Oh, wow. The Vecnabus is coming.
Yeah, he's still in it. He's had a bit of a glow
up too. They've done an interesting... Oh, yeah,
I've seen. I've seen like the original outfit
versus what he now looks like. Yeah, so before
it was full outfit. Fully practical. With bits
of CG to make it move and stuff. This one, it's
clearly his still... To me, it really looks like
face makeup. And then he's probably in a suit,
like just a green suit or something. I wonder
if that's what they've done. Because there's
no way the way they've styled him, it could be...
This isn't spoilers. It's obvious that this guy...
The whole point is the whole series, isn't it?
You only have to open Netflix to have parts of
it spoiled for you, which I complained about
to Miranda when we were watching. That's a spoiler.
The image on the screen is in the fourth fucking
episode. Why are they showing you this thing
happening as the splash image? the same thing
happened okay so i can talk about this because
it's way out so i think it was season three one
of the characters isn't there at the end of the
season before and you don't know where that character
is you think that character's dead but the splash
image for the next season is that character what
a massive spoiler that is because you haven't
even watched the show yet and you don't know
that till a couple of episodes into the show
yeah it's like come on guys like It's incredibly
unfair when they do that. I really, really dislike
it when people... Or when you get a next episode
bit at the end of an episode and it shows you
a clip from the next episode. It's like, I don't
want to see that. Yeah. I don't want to see that
and then be waiting a whole week to find out.
I think Wednesday did that. It's like, all the
episodes are out. Why are you showing me what's
happening in the next episode? I'm about to watch
the next episode. Oh, another thing in Stranger
Things. Someone else can tell me this. I think
it was between episode three and four. The last
cliffhanger part of episode three, they replay
the exact five minutes at the start of episode
four. The exact same scene gets played again.
And then it does the splash screen saying the
show. Why on earth would you do that? Because
it's not like I had to wait a week. It's not,
you know, like had it been on terrestrial TV.
I would have longed for someone to do the last
little bit cliffhanger of the episode before
to put it on. Yeah. Why on earth would you do
that? If I didn't remember, I'll just go to the
previous episode and watch the end bit again.
But I just watched that five minutes. So we're
skipping ahead going, oh, maybe it's just another
perspective. Maybe like it's going to cut to
another perspective of what was happening of
the other people at the time that this was happening.
And they're just giving you a little reminder.
Nope. Just verbatim. They just copied and pasted.
Yes. Which was very odd. Unless something went
wrong with our Netflix. I don't think so. Then
there's something where maybe someone can tell
me who's watched it. Anyway, so the three games.
So playing these three games, I also streamed
them. Yeah. On Twitch. Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes,
yes. So for those who haven't noticed, Tom and
I do have a YouTube channel. which is called
Tom and Rob in the Studio. Yep, just put all
those words in one long string and you'll find
us. You'll find the kind of skits we've made
and a lot of Tom's kind of reviews are on there.
Some other bits Tom's done mainly. But it's also,
so the streams I did were on Twitch, but that
was only because I was doing on the Xbox the
first one and that's what's integrated with it.
And then I was testing on the computer. So you'll
see two VODs up on the show. If you're interested
to go watch me play, it's about two hours worth
of footage. You can tell I'm testing because
the audio level is not right, particularly in
the first one. It's very quiet. But you've worked
it out. I've worked it out now, so the second
one was a bit better. You can hear me talking
and texting Tom whilst I'm doing it, setting
the webcam up, getting the audio levels right.
Yeah, discovering that you need light to make
a webcam work well. Discovering that I have to
turn the light on in the room. You know, the
normal things you expect from me when I'm in
charge of the IT that go wrong. And the three
games. So, Total Chaos, Routine, and Marvel Cosmic
Invasion. We'll go with Marvel Cosmic Invasion
first. So that is a side -scrolling beat -em
-up, like Streets of Rage, but you're playing
the Marvel characters. Nice. And there's lots
of them. You pick two characters each. You can
have four players, so technically eight characters.
Wow, okay. You swap between them, you fight with
one, and then you can press a shoulder button
and a move, and the other one will jump in and
do their move, or you can straight -up swap into
them. And you've got characters like Spider -Man.
You can unlock like Venom. You've got Iron Man,
Captain America. You've got some other characters
I'm not familiar with. There's like a dinosaur
-looking Thor. I'm sure people know who he is
who are into Marvel more than I am. I don't know
who he was. Some other weird characters, but
classic characters are there. Black Panther's
there. Wolverine's there. Phoenix is a character
in there. Loads of characters. Anyway, it's so
much fun. And it's actually quite forgiving as
well. Like it's not particularly hard. I've been
playing with T. We've been playing it in the
mornings and then Miranda was joining as well.
So all three of us were playing. Oh, that's cool.
So much fun. There's also, you can change the
color. So T's like, oh, I'm going to be red venom
and I'm going to be black spider man. He's having
a great time and he goes on about it for ages
afterwards. And he was like. When he went and
saw my brother -in -law the weekend, he's like
going on about it to him and pretending to fight
and go, I was Venom and I was doing this. He's
whacking Dan. Which Dan really likes because
he's really into Marvel too. So that's been a
lot of fun. What a great game. There's no blood
or gore in it. I don't know if it has a rating
or not. It's just comic book violence. Yeah.
You know, it's no worse than if you'd watched
X -Men like we did back in the day or Spider
-Man back in the day. Which is, by the way, all
on Disney and they're making a new series that's
going to look exactly like the one that we used
to watch. They've already done it for X -Men.
Have they? They've already done it. It's out
already. It's been out for like a year. Oh, there's
another season coming then. And it's brilliant.
Bits of it I've seen. But I loved re -watching
the original. Yeah. It was so good. The intro
is like... We used to talk about this before
the intro. It's one of the best intros to TV
shows. But Marvel Cosmic Invasion, recommend
anybody who's got Game Pass. Or even just do
a free couple of weeks of it that they offer
you nowadays over Christmas. If you've got kids,
play it with your kids. Really good fun. Really
enjoyed it. Next one, Routine. So Routine, it's
like an 80s version of the future. yes so it
looks alien -esque which i really liked and it
has this wonderful film grain on it too did you
watch me play this i've watched a little bit
of it and i've funnily enough literally i think
it was tech radar one of the sites i kind of
look at every day had a clip of it as well and
that's the one that you've got the little weird
yeah so you're you're a man on the moon on some
kind of kind of uh public kind of space anything
on the moon you wake up And the whole place is
a bit ransacked and ruined. It doesn't really
tell you what's happening. It doesn't really
tell you anything. As you'll find out as we talk
about it, you are welcoming your room, you have
to get out of your room. And you go up to the
door, can't open the door, you need your ID.
There's a sign on the door that says you need
to be wearing your ID or you will not get out.
That's it. Okay, well, how do I get my ID? You're
now looking around your room and there's an ID
printing interface. So then you have to go through
the steps that it tells you on how to print your
ID. Oh God. So you kind of have to figure it
out. It's all context clues and little things
around the place, environmental clues for you
to know. And it teaches you, like you can kind
of crouch and then kneel right down and lean
and stuff like on the ground. And I remember
saying it while I was playing, it was like, I'm
not going to remember these buttons. And then
you finally print your ID, you drop it and it
goes underneath a skirting board. So you've got
to get all the way down, look under, lean and
grab hold of it. I would say then, and I will
Google this very, very quickly. Sounds like Routine
took a lot of inspiration from a game called
Bioforge. Was it Bioforge? Yeah, Bioforge. Not
sure. And I remember it wasn't the first system,
Sean. I'm pretty sure it was Bioforge. And you
wake up in your cell. You've been mutilated and
turned into this half -cyborg thing. And that
is, yeah, you find your past to get out of the
prison room. There's one point you find a flute
and it's like, what the fuck do I do with the
flute? And then later on, you've got to play
the flute to open a door because it's the right
notes match the sound of the keypad and whatever
big keypads destroy. It's really, really, yeah,
there's a lot to it and it sounds very similar.
Yeah, it's, I think I'm just an idiot. I think
I'd like to, I've been told where I got stuck.
Now, James has kindly told me what I was doing
wrong. You kind of, eventually you get into this
room because you're like a new employee. So you
haven't done the training and then there's like
a projector screen and you click through it and
it tells you how to use this weapon. So you pick
it up and then you've got to go and find a battery.
And it's telling you, you then look to change
the way your gun works. You actually have to
inspect it and then. Click on the buttons on
the side to change its modes. Really cool. Very
immersive. And then I got stuck. I did not know
what to do. And I walked around between five
and 10 minutes in and out the room, walking around.
I had no fucking clue what to do. I knew there
was a door I needed to get through because it's
the only thing I can interact with. And it had
a code. And I was like, have I missed somewhere
with this code written down? Never found it and
then gave up. right james has since told me i'm
supposed to go back to the screen now i knew
how to press the buttons and press the button
for this wi -fi mode and that would have moved
the projector to the next stage oh i don't think
that was clear enough but i'm going to play it
again now i know and see how i missed that fine
gotcha yeah um yeah it sounds like maybe it could
be an overly complicated if you're in the wrong
kind of headspace for it Yeah, maybe I just,
you know, because I was too busy focusing on
other things, maybe I'm going to give myself
the benefit of doubt. As the clip I saw, it looked
like you'd got almost like those cheap IR kind
of thermometer guns. Yeah, it looks like what
you're holding. It can shoot as well. You can
fire three bullets and your battery runs out.
And the clip just saw a new horror sci -fi game.
So for me, it was labeled as a horror game. No,
it is a horror. And yeah, it would look just
lifelike and this robot was charging towards
someone that they zapped twice to stop them from
working. The thing is as well, like you... You
can fire it three times and you run out of battery.
You can't hold batteries. You have to then go
and find a battery, replace the battery, and
then you've got three. So you can't have like
a stash of batteries to reload it. Have you not
got pockets in the future? Apparently this guy
didn't have pockets. At least at that beginning
bit he didn't have a pocket because there was
multiple batteries and wouldn't let me say more
than one, which was, I think, a bit annoying.
And the last one, which I was enjoying the most,
Total Chaos. that's what it's called this is
the one that i saw you watch me more of and yeah
apparently it originally total chaos was a mod
for doom 2 oh really it's the same kind of they're
the same guys or they've taken that and now it's
its own thing so i mean i've completed it so
i don't really i didn't really need to play i
completed it within five minutes so this is my
second playthrough oh okay Oh, this is what you
were saying, yeah. That's my silly joke to myself.
You can get in the boat and just sail away and
it says, well done, you escaped. Yeah, so the
intro is you crash your boat and then it says,
oh, your boat's all repaired now. Yeah. But during
the intro, there's a voice telling you to come
find him. So, again, this probably hasn't taken
inspiration from it, but have you ever heard
of something called myhouse .wad? No. So, I won't
bore you too much. The technical limitations
of Doom were you could not have a level upon
a level. So you couldn't go under something in
Doom. So Doom is a very clever game because you
feel like you do go through tunnels and things.
But if you look at the map, not once does a map
go over itself or under itself. It just isn't
possible. Myhouse .wad was developed by very,
very, very clever people. And at the first kind
of... play through you can just leave the game
it's just this house it's like someone's made
i think i have seen this yeah and you can just
leave and it's like complete but then when you
start looking more there's these weird things
like you look through a window and you can see
something but when you go in the house it's not
there but that's technically not possible in
the doom engine and it starts getting deeper
and deeper and there's so much in it and it's
really it's something actually we probably should
play through it's really creepy There's a cat
on an iPad. There's a cat on an iPad. Elf on
the shelf, cat on an iPad. Oh, dear. Drink in
a sink. Yeah, I think I have seen someone play
that. It is literally someone's house, isn't
it? Yeah, it's quite creepy. But what it is,
very, very clever. But what you were saying is
what reminded me of that. You can literally quit
at the very beginning and leave. or if you start
digging around you start finding more and more
things that then there's a few far cries that
you can do that like was one we start in a cell
and the game is like saying to you to escape
the cell but if you listen to the bad guy he
says literally just just wait there when my boss
comes he'll speak to you you can go pretty much
and you wait and if you wait it's something like
10 minutes the boss arrives is that the one where
he's looking for his brother or something yeah
the boss arrives and you can just agree with
the boss and you can leave and that's the end
that's it i think there's another one you can
just turn around and walk off and it's the end
which i always actually really thought was quite
good you could just do that and that's the thing
about this thing is as well you start with your
back to the castle So you're facing your boat
at the end of your dock and literally the text
on the bottom says, your boat is repaired, you
can leave the island. So I went, okay. And I
went on the boat, got in it and I drove off.
I was like, okay, we must be going somewhere
then. And then the credits rolled and I got an
achievement for completing the game. I was like,
okay, and it puts you back to the start again.
But I did wonder why at the very beginning on
the title screen, it has start game and then
the one below is start game, skip prologue. So
clearly they're like, people are going to come
back here. Now you can do that. And it just puts
you straight back on the deck. Brilliant. Okay,
cool. So you turn around and then have to walk
in. Yeah, so it's very much like Cthulhu. It
was H .D. Well, is that what I'm thinking of?
Hang on. Thank you, H .P. Lovecraft. Thank you,
you said that off. That was Tom who got that
right, everybody. Yeah, H .P. Lovecraft. In my
opinion, that's how it feels. I'm utterly terrified
at every single step. My critique is too dark.
Yes, I saw you banging the brightness up to 100
and even then. I have the in -game brightness
set to max and I still couldn't see. I think
actually they have just textured stuff black
because there are corners of corridors that if
I've got the game rendered at its full brightness
and I can't see in that. No, that's on purpose.
That's not your light level. You've done a texture
dark so people can't make it lighter. And I think
it's annoying as well for when I was streaming
it, I don't think. you can see as much see which
is a shame but yeah watch the streams you'll
see me on two occasions scream like a little
girl yeah well we've always said as well haven't
we that we we plan on doing alien isolation which
neither of us have ever completed i can't get
very far in that game at all even now i'm scared
of it uh i get past the android bit where the
androids are after you and then i get to the
main bit where you kind of this figure of eight
section and the alien is on this figure of eight
path And every time I just end up hiding and
eventually it just going, yeah, you've hidden
there too many times. Yeah. Just find you in
the cupboard in like the locker or whatever.
Yeah. No, I poo my pants too much and I can't
play it. So I don't know how I'll be playing
it with you. I would just have to let you play
and I'll just close my eyes. It's such a wimp.
I'm a wimp. Right. Anyway, that's what I've been
doing. I've been talking nearly 25 minutes again.
This is going to be a quick one. Accessing library
computer data. so people might have yeah people
might have noticed that this episode isn't called
a fifth element so if they did notice the bonus
i didn't realize what the date was i didn't realize
anything wasn't paying much attention so this
is like we're doing christmas one instead and
the fifth element will be out on i think was
it monday the 15th uh something like that like
that we'll figure out the end uh yeah so as you
said tom this is dr who a christmas invasion
I didn't realise it was Tennant's first episode.
It was Tennant's first episode. You're having
a lovely cuddle from my pussy. I'm being bitten.
Oh, is she? She must like it. Vagina dentata.
Yeah, she definitely likes it if she's biting
you. Yeah, it's an interesting Doctor Who episode
because Doctor Who's not in it much. No. So,
right, first of all, two things. Peter Griffin
is absolutely losing his shit in this episode
because within minutes we've got Jackie going...
Doctor Who? They said the name of the show in
the show? Yeah, they did. Yeah, they did. Yeah.
So you've immediately got that. I also want to
know where the golden Doctor Space Spunk disappeared
off to. It just floated off into space out the
window and that's gone somewhere. Well, that's
how the monsters find them. No, it's not. No,
that's why they come. No, they don't. They come
because the probe bumps into them and they collect
the probe. No, but they sense his... He says
it in the episode. Oh, did he? Yeah, because
they've come for him. That's why they're chasing
the... I thought they came to work because they
bump into that probe and then steal the probe.
No, they use the probe's stuff, but they're there
because of the energy. I would say it's not a
very good episode. It's fun. It's a weird one.
It's Tennant being Tennant as the Doctor, and
that side's fine. I wouldn't say it's his greatest
effort. And yeah, you're right. The large portion
of the episode is no Doctor. Yeah. So for those
of you that haven't seen it, it's the first Christmas
special. They've just got rid of Eccleston, which
was a ridiculous choice. Billy has come home
for Christmas, and Billy has a problem. The Doctor
has changed. And she drags him in. He's regenerating.
He's now unconscious. So she goes shopping with
Mickey. Yeah. That was a weird thing because,
like, obviously we haven't recapped season one,
but the Mickey part of it was like, what a weird
guy. Like, he's completely fine. Well, obviously
he's not fine with his boyfriend, girlfriend,
I'm assuming. Yeah, they're meant to be girlfriend,
boyfriend relationships. I don't think Rose thinks
that. No, God, no. She's after the Doctor in
whatever form. Yeah, she's like, yeah, nice new
Doctor. Thanks a lot, mate. David Ten Inch, as
she apparently called him in real life. It's,
yeah, a weird relationship that they had. It's,
I, you know, you're saying it's not a very good
episode, but I did still enjoy it. Oh, no, I
enjoyed it, but it's not good in comparison to
some of the episodes that we then get immediately
after. Yeah, the CGI particularly was. ropey
oh my god the entire literally watching i thought
have i just got a bad internet connection here
because my entire screen it starts off with black
just full of stars and you'll know what i'm talking
about literally my screen was just full of hundreds
of little squares because it can't do black properly
because of the resolution and the bit rate of
the stream that the bbc are giving us i know
why didn't they why haven't they phd'd it it
looked awful it looked terrible it looks standard
definition on HD, which is problematic. It looked
bad. I don't remember it looking that bad. 2005,
remember. But still, it looked rubbish. No, I
agree. I'm not disagreeing with you. I was watching
it on the computer, so it wasn't like I was watching
it on my massive TV. I was watching it on the
big telly. Yeah. But yeah, they go shopping.
They get called back to the home. Spaceship arrives.
Takes control of everyone that's got A blood.
Yeah, I'm in trouble. I'm pretty sure I'm A positive.
Yeah, you're screwed. Christmas tree attacks.
Beyblade Christmas tree, I was calling it. Nice,
nice. I like that. Eventually, they all go up.
She tries to use some of the stolen words. Then
the doctor wakes up. Yeah. And then he just had
a little bit of a sword fight and then... There's
his tenant stuff. Gets his hand cut off. And
yeah, then end of episode. God, there's not really
much to talk about it for it. He's there. It's
an interesting thing. The hand getting cut off.
I forgot it was in that episode. And I think
that it was just a bit that they did. But the
hand comes back on two more occasions. It turns
up a couple of times. So this is season two.
Yeah. I think we're calling it. It comes back
in season three. Jack Harkness gives it in back.
Yes. Somehow Captain Jack's got it. And then
I've actually found it on here. It comes back
in the finale of season four because they use
it. They use the rejuvenation of it on Donna
Noble. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Yeah. Right.
Really good point that you actually brought up
there. We get mentioned a Torchwood. Yes. Torchwood,
very underrated series. Oh, I absolutely love
Torchwood. Same. I've kept the DVD box set for
it. But this is the London faction of Torchwood,
not the Wales faction of Torchwood. The Wales
one, not the Valleys. But either way, the idea
of Torchwood was brilliant. The show was really
good. So we get mention of that. But it gets
introduced in that season. Yeah. It gets created
by Queen Victoria. So you see at the end of the
credits, you see the episode, you see her in
the... I think there's werewolves in that episode.
Yes, yes. That's the one that she creates, Torchwood.
But I will put it to you then. Even the Christopher
Eccleston Christmas special was better than this
one, which was the one all the plastic people
and the mannequins coming to life. Oh, yeah,
because mannequins are scary like that. It's
really, really good. It's based at Christmas
and it's the big jelly monster next to the Thames
or whatever it is, isn't it? I think it's the
first episode, isn't it? It's the first episode
of the Eccleston series because he bumps into
Billy. Is she getting a job interview or something
at the department store? Yeah, I think you're
right, yeah. But it felt more Christmassy. It
was a better bad guy in it. And the bad guy in
it's the, I want to say Celerac, but it's Celerac.
It's the Celerac, isn't it? Something like that,
yeah, yeah, something like that. It's just not
that good. The design, quite fun. Yeah, I did
write their name down. and the fun of the outfit
the fun of the design of the design of the um
psy sycorax sycorax sorry that was it um the
design was pretty good but they were just a really
they just turn up and they literally the focus
of them is the last 10 minutes of the episode
where david tennant wakes up we don't really
get anything else from them we get the tv broadcast
which is a couple of seconds and it's so a not
in hd and b that they put on so much static on
the tv you can't see what they are anyway so
it's kind of what's the point of doing this um
oh and apparently yeah uh they rock what the
hell was that about that joke i did i didn't
get that joke yeah why would you i guess the
joke is meant to be that the translation's crap
Or that they literally thought it would be funny
to say, yeah, they rock. It's the thing that
happens that you have to look past in every single
episode of Doctor Who. They have to progress
the story. So the guy who translates it within
two seconds, I found that ridiculous. But I get
it. Again, you've got to progress the story.
All the little things. One thing that I didn't
actually like was the guy who was the scientist
who kept getting interviewed. okay, yeah, this
thing's going to be taking pictures of Mars.
Yeah. And then rushing off all the time. I don't
think it'd be running in and out. You'd just
hear after the fact. Yes. Like, it's really not...
Pictures of Mars are brilliant, but at the same
time, it wouldn't have all the news outlets there
hounding him for why they haven't got the photos
yet. Give me the photo, I can't believe it. You
know. Exactly. That was just a bit silly. They
didn't need that at all. You know. But would
it be, or... Is it possibly because, and this
is me being a bit geeky here, the world has got
border space. And in fact, the Simpsons even
joke about it, don't they, when they make Homer
an astronaut. We're going to try and get the
TV figures up by just sending up Joe blogs into
space. Has the press become more interested in
space and taking pictures of Mars? Because the
previous season of Doctor Who and the number
of things that have now happened on Earth, including
Daleks. Are they now, have you found something?
Have you found, started to find where these things
are starting to come from? Why is this now more
happening? Have you found something? So maybe
there is more of an interest in space and the
other bits and pieces because of the things that
have happened in the previous series. Yeah. But
then that gets immediately shot down because
then we get Harriet, whatever her name is, as
Prime Minister saying, oh no, everything's secure
and everything's secret, so no, you can't possibly
know about any of that. So okay, so the world
doesn't know about that. yeah i don't know i
just like for a doctor who episode with a new
doctor so the first ever regeneration of the
new doctors yeah for him to only be really in
it for the last 10 minutes wasn't the right call
in my opinion no and think about i think they
learned their lesson For that. Because they keep
fucking bringing him back. No. Ignoring that.
They do this for Tennant. And I think you're
right. It was a really bad way to bring him in.
Especially at how strong a doctor he was. Look
how they then brought Matt Smith in after him.
I've got to have custard. I've got to have the
fish finger. And they do that whole thing. And
the whole Amy Pond being little and so on. that
is wonderful he's just regenerated crash lands
and he just raids her kitchen yeah eating random
and that's brilliant it's comedy looking for
fish things it's funny that was how it should
have been done this is how this should have been
done not he's unconscious he needs to have a
nap yeah he's just unconscious and then needs
a cup of tea how does he die at the end of the
eccleston one that be regenerate i don't remember
what happens Such a long time ago. Yeah, I actually
can't remember how Eccleston died. I mean, I'll
watch it again because, as I said before, Eccleston's
pretty much my favourite one. I really like,
I think he deserved so, so much more. Well, he
only didn't do it anymore because of, he fell
out with, what's his name, didn't he? Well, yes.
That's why he said he wouldn't ever come back
until that guy wasn't there anymore. True. But
moving away from that, it's... Oh, let's have
a look here. Final scene. Episode concluded.
Oh, fuck's sake. Literally two fucking paragraphs
of text saying he leaves, he leaves, he leaves.
Not how he leaves, just it's called the parting
of the ways is the episode. It's the bad wolf
arc from the look of it. Was it the bad wolf
arc? No, bad. What are you talking about with
Eccleston? Yeah. Yeah. Bad wolf comes back. Oh,
it's the Daleks, isn't it? Yeah. It's got Daleks
in it. Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep. The mutant Dalek
at the end. Blah, blah, blah. I honestly don't
know if I can be bothered to read all of this.
Oh, don't worry about it. But yeah, the Daleks
kill him basically or whatever happens to take
out the Daleks. But again, we get that brilliant
Eccleston episode where he's underground in the
rich bloke's bunker who's been collecting alien
artifacts and you get the... the Dalek who just
wants to see the outside again because Rose has
touched it and the mutation has made it more
human. Brilliant episode. And one of the strongest
episodes out of all of the series. Out of all
of them, that one. Yeah, it's funny, isn't it?
We get a David Tennant episode, which really,
2005, they got away with it. They've literally
just rebooted Doctor Who. Tennant is, he's not
a new name, but he's a popular name. And God
doesn't he look young. Oh, yeah. He grew into
his face. So they have literally won that battle.
So they know people are going to come back. So
they could probably get away with a ropey episode.
Do you think if they reboot Doctor Who, didn't
reboot it then, but rebooted it now and did that,
would you get away with it? And I don't think
you would. I think the expectation 20 years later
would be. what the fuck have you done there?
Ratings would have dropped massively. If they
hadn't done any of those Doctor Who's at all,
so from Eccleston, Tennant, Smith, fucking hell,
what's the guy's name? Yeah, I was trying to
think this earlier. Oh, the only other people,
because he was a really good one too, and I can't
remember his bloody name. I feel awful about
now. If they hadn't done any of those. So we
haven't got any of that nice nostalgia ourselves.
I know that you watched the original stuff. I
never did. You see, I used to enjoy watching
the classic and I still do. Peter Capaldi. Peter
Capaldi, which was actually a really good one.
I hadn't done any of that. And then they said,
oh, we're bringing back Doctor Who. Disney's
bringing back Doctor Who. I would have no trust
in it whatsoever. Disney's already dropped it.
Have they? Yep. So who has it now then? No one.
I don't know if it's gone back to the BBC, but
Disney have said, yeah, we don't want to be part
of it anymore. Well, Shooty quit, didn't he?
He did. He wasn't actually quit. They did him
dirty. They kept, he didn't, we've said it in
the previous episodes and I'm not going to bang
on about it. He was the crying doctor. There
was no anger or power from him. And that wasn't
his fault because he can portray it, trade that.
He's a fantastic actor. He was not given that
chance in this. He was just told, you've got
to be an emotional wreck all the time. I did
like his first series, though. I was on the show
saying it. It's Jodie Whittaker, the one they
did dirty. Oh, they did her very dirty. They
did her dirty. The first female doctor, they
screwed her over. I don't know if that was on
purpose. They gave her shit episodes. Yeah, they
basically just said, look, Jodie, your doctor
is going to be the doctor of telling everyone
how life should be. Oh, that was the problem.
That's all it was. Lessons, life, social lessons.
It's like, yeah, we get it. We get it. Shut up.
This is not what we watch Doctor Who for. No.
We want to see the Daleks. We want to see the
Cybermen. We want to see absolute chaos and then
the Doctor turn up and fix everything. Yeah,
yeah. We don't need all these historical lessons
and social commentaries. You can put them in
way more subtly than you were. It doesn't have
to be a social commentary per episode. No, no,
no, no, no. It does not need that. And I think
also, like with Chuty's one though, like they
were chasing the bad wolf. They were chasing
that very subtle that you don't actually notice
that they're all linked together until it drops
the bomb at the end. That was linked, that was
linked. They kept having the same character.
And I really like... And it was obvious. And
the episode when they go into the... video where
she's been left and they got the technology to
look at all the angles yeah that's a really dark
episode yeah it was really good idea and as yet
the main story arc of where did she come from
brilliant yeah and then they just bend her off
as well yeah what they need to do okay here's
here's something for whoever picks up netflix
i mean i don't trust them either they need to
sign somebody up for three seasons right? The
first season, just Doctor Who. No fucking around,
no big links to other stuff, just Doctor Who.
Cybermen, we're talking. Yeah. Daleks, we're
talking. You know, bring back some of the ones
from, yeah, the, even the Don't Blink, you know,
the Weeping Angels. You know, and then season
two, again, just Doctor Who. There may be some
other things happening. Season three, The end
of that Doctor's arc have all these things, but
that's when you find out there was stuff in the
first two seasons of that Doctor that do link
to this, but you had no clue. There was no subtlety,
nothing. It just was not told until season three,
where you get shown, or doesn't even do flashbacks.
It just goes this, this, this, kind of like the
bad wolf, where it just had that scene where
it shows you the... The graffiti and different
things and all these little bits. And it's all
been there and you can rewind and go and see
it. It's almost like Futurama. They didn't go
back and edit it. You can see in that very first
episode, you see the shadow of Nibbler push his
chair. It's there. Yeah. But it's subtle and
no one comments on it. It just happens. And that's
how you do the dropping the mic moments. And
I think that they're just making it too obvious
because they treat the viewer like we're idiots,
firstly. And, well, I think that's secondly,
thirdly, fourthly, fifthly, they think we're
fucking idiots. Correct. They think they're better
than us. Right, so let me read this then. Disney
has officially dropped its partnership with the
BBC to distribute the long -running sci -fi adventure
series Doctor Who. This decision marks the end
of a two -season collaboration starring Shuti
Gatwa as the titular Time Lord, along with five
specials between 2023 and 2025. The partnership
also included an upcoming five -episode spin
-off series, The War Between the Land and the
Sea, which apparently has been trashed. I haven't
watched it, so I'm going to... watch it myself
before i saw a trailer or something on youtube
never actually watched yeah i'm gonna give a
proper try but apparently interesting it's not
been received particularly well so far is the
doctor in it uh no it's a complete kind of spin
-off okay uh despite the departure the bbc has
confirmed the doctor who will return on december
25th 26th with a new christmas special written
by russell t davis the bbc remains fully committed
to doctor who ensuring that the show will continue
despite disney's exit from the franchise so they
just partnered they didn't buy it Yeah, no, they
just partnered. But basically, that would have
been a huge cash injection, which explains a
lot because you've got some great tie -ins. You
look at the various bad guys that you had from
that first season leading up to the Toymaker.
Yeah. You wouldn't have got those names just
to BBC. They needed that tie -in with the Doctor
to get them. So I'll be intrigued to see if BBC
put money behind it or it goes back to being
a bit homespun. I think once upon a time you
would have got larger British actors coming in
to do it because they would have all had their
own nostalgias for Doctor Who and it's a big
thing here, Doctor Who. Now, I don't think it's
there now. No, it's not. You could get me to
do it. I would happily be Doctor Who. I think
we should write the episodes, mate. Yeah, if
Russell T Davies wants to ask me, I mean, I would
say I need to be involved on some of the scripts.
Thank you. Tom and I need to just read some of
your scripts first. I know we haven't done a
shit show for a while, but maybe we should have
a go at doing a spin -off Doctor Who version
of the USS shit show. Oh, look, it's coming back
next year. I gave myself a long break. I got
burnout. Oh, I know you did. But I'm just saying,
you can be the Doctor. I'll be the sidekick.
Okay. I'll be Rose, you be Tennant. That's not
how I've historically written it. It's the other
way around. Yeah, well, okay, we'll write it
the other way around. I don't mind, I don't mind.
We could do it. That's it, really, isn't it?
Yeah, this has not been a particularly Christmas
Christmas special, but it's... I think it's like
the actual Doctor Who episode, the only thing
that linked it really to Christmas was the fact
that they were dressed as Santa. Yeah. And then
there's a Christmas meal at the end. This is
it. It's something that happens at Christmas,
not a Christmas special. Where would this sit
on the advent? In the middle. Somewhere in the
middle. Right in the middle. Better than Asda,
not as good as Aldi. Oh, nowhere near as good
as Aldi. Now, if Kevin the Carrot turned up in
a Doctor Who episode... Oh, now we're talking.
The sidekick. He could be the next sidekick.
Oh, Kevin the Cat. Oh, my God. Get Russell on
the phone. No, we need to speak to Audi. We need
to say, Audi, next Christmas advert, Kevin's
the Doctor. Or get Doctor Who and Kevin's the
sidekick. Let's workshop this. Yes. Transfer
complete. Well, there we are. So, as I alluded
to at the start of the episode, I think I might
have said the 15th. That's not the right date.
This is the last episode of season two of the
Untitled Sci -Fi Show. You will hear us again
before the new year. I'll say that in a second.
But the next main, called the mainline episode,
where we'll be talking about Fifth Element, that'll
be released on Monday the 12th of January, 2026.
So you've got quite a long wait for that. But...
In the meantime, we have got two very special,
one very special in particular, bonus episodes
for you. Not going to tell you what one of them
is, but it is a damn near two hour watch along
of an iconic Christmas special, science fiction.
Holy sugar tits. I was not expecting what we
got. No. It is about two hours long. It is painful.
I'm doing very minimal on the edit for it because
I want everyone to experience what we did all
the way through. You don't want to relive it,
do you? I don't want to relive it. I'm literally
going to put something at the beginning and some
at the end and then just post it. And that will
be coming out Christmas Eve. So all you people
like me who I normally would be this year, I'm
not. We work Christmas Eve, get stuck in that
traffic, can be there for a long time. You'll
have two hours of listening to Tom and I talk
about a film that we're watching along. We slowly
break. Yeah. As the technology breaks for the
first 20 minutes. Oh, fuck off. We then break
afterwards. So I'm not going to spoil it. Just
wait. Christmas Eve is about two hours long.
It's going to get copywritten on YouTube. Oh,
yeah. But I don't care. It can disappear. It's
going to be fine on Spotify and everywhere else.
Exactly. We do a watch along. And then on Christmas
Day, there's a little, another bonus, a little
unboxing thing. I don't expect you all to be
listening on Christmas Eve on Book Day, really.
Well, I fucking do. If we get the chance. That's
a little fun one you brought. You brought something
of TikTok, didn't you? I did. Well, it's fucking
hell. TikTok or shit talk. Yeah. So that's a
fun one as well. So you'll enjoy those, hopefully.
And then we'll be back with the Untitled Sci
-Fi Show in the new year. Yay. Command functions
are offline. Right. Where can they find us? You
want me just to power through this so you can
click end? Yeah, go on then. You have a go. You
can find out more about the Untitled Sci -Fi
Show at channel84 .co .uk. If you click on the
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links to their shows otherwise thank you very
much been a brilliant brilliant episode brilliant
brilliant year merry merry christmas thank you
for that police never dad We could be singing
that all week. Yeah, happy Christmas. See you
in the new year. Happy new year. Happy new year.
Love you, Tom. Love you too. Bye. Bye. Thank
you for listening to the Untitled Sci -Fi Show.
This station is now shutting down and will be
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