Roads? Where we're going, we won't need roads.
I am the law. I say we take off and nuke the
entire site from orbit. It's the only way to
be sure. Hello. Hi. And welcome to the Untitled
Sci -Fi Show with me, Tom, and him, Rob. Hi,
wife. You're listening now. Can you hear us?
She's over there scoffing food, getting pestered
by the dogs. Not my wife. That's Rob's wife.
I'm Tom. You're Rob. Oh, no. So you're wife.
Oh, you're just getting it far too confusing
for me. How are you doing, Tom? Yeah, I'm good.
I've got a very angry chipmunk at home. Because
of me? Yeah, because of you. All because of you.
Washing up simulator, really? I don't remember
what we were talking about. Oh, yes, because
she couldn't guess all of the guess the intros
from last week. Yes, so you told her to go back
and start playing her game of washing up simulator.
No, no, no, it's not what I said. I said, would
you like me to make it easier for you by doing
things you might like, like My Little Pony or
washing up simulator? That's what I said. You
got her very angry. Oh, well, that's a shame.
Enter authorization code. Okay, guess the intro.
Very special guess the intro, wasn't it? What
would you do if I said no? To what? Guessing
the intro. Well, it wouldn't be much of a show,
would it? Yeah, I know, but I'm just saying,
I could actually just say no at this point. Why?
Is it because you don't want to get it wrong?
And then she'd be angry at you too. No, I'm just
being honest. I think I've got it right. Because
then she'd be like, you don't know me at all.
No, there's three films. That was my impression
of Jem, by the way. Did you tell me, or am I
just making this up? Did you tell me last episode
that you'd asked for sci -fi films that myself
and Jem had watched together? No, no. I just
said that she would know. Just ones that she
would know. Oh, right. Okay. So she's given me
six and Miranda gave me six, but I only used
three and three of each because then I can do
another one with another three and three. Oh,
bugger. Okay, so that could be a problem then.
I may have got two of them wrong. Yeah, so it's
three and three. Each one's on three. There's
a big, massive clue for you, but I'm pretty sure
I did tell you that already. Yeah, no, no. For
some reason, I got it in my head that it was
something that me and her had watched together,
but I've got a feeling that might mean me saying,
oh, I think I'll find this easy because she doesn't
normally watch sci -fi. So, oh, well, we'll see
if I fuck it up. Well, would you like the first
one? No. So how should we do it? Should we guess
it and then guess whether it's Gem or Miranda?
Yeah, we'll guess the film and then I'll say
Gem or Miranda and you can say yes or no. Or
TV show. Didn't say it was just films. No, I
know there's TV shows in there as well. Well,
one. I haven't tested the volumes. It'll be fun.
Oh dear. Got a batch of personals. Dispatching
them to your laptops now. That is The Martian.
Just as they've discovered that their friend
is still alive and they're deciding to go against
NASA and turn their ship around. That's right.
Now, who was it? That was Jem. That was Jem.
Because it's one of our favourite sci -fi films.
It was. Well done. I made her watch it and she
really enjoyed it. It's a good one. It is a very
good one. The book's better. You've said that.
I've got it on order but I haven't listened yet.
It's phenomenal. Ready? Yep. And if helium falls...
So does Barsoom. So that's John Carter. It is.
I'm surprised you got that one. Because you both
clearly stated that you really like John Carter.
Yeah, there's John Carter talking about Barsoom,
which is the planet that he's on. Yeah, I tried
watching it a few weeks ago, funnily enough,
and turned it off. I don't like it. I don't know
why. A lot of people don't like it, but I don't
understand why they don't like it. Genuinely,
I don't know why it just didn't resonate with
me and I cannot put a reason to it. Next one.
You walked right past it. Like it was nobody.
And this is Robert's favourite film, World War
Z. Zed gem, not Z, Zed. I got it right. Even
though Rob would say World War Z in this case.
Yeah, because of the Americanism of the title
itself. So I'll put that down as Miranda. Correct.
It was Miranda. And what a great film. tried
to it's really difficult to actually pick a bit
in that that isn't obvious firstly and secondly
that hasn't got loads of music behind it it's
really different some like whenever i do these
it's really difficult to get the audio clean
so that does kind of force me but yeah you're
right again three out of three so far here comes
the fourth one there's a reason you hide from
them now this is the kate bush running up the
hill moment or stranger things and the weird
muscular looking vechna there you go uh is chatting
to ginger is it by any chance ginger spice or
or that's that ginger spice that her name is
max max okay yeah well the ginger one now this
is the one that i may have got wrong because
i know jem knows stranger things and we've watched
stranger things but i also know that you two
are waiting for season five but genuinely the
next one i don't know if jem would have watched
or paid attention to so i'm going to say this
with jem Well, you're correct on Stranger Things.
Damn it. And I chose that purposely with that
music thinking it would help you a bit because
I didn't think you'd guess Beckner's voice on
your side. I didn't think you'd have any chance
because you've never seen that character. But
there's been so many clips of it. That was Miranda.
Shit. So, okay. I would never have thought Jen
would have seen the next film then or would have
chosen the next film. Next one. Does my line
of work make you uncomfortable, precious? The
butterfly effect. That is the butterfly effect.
Again, I'm not surprised you got that one. Well
done. Yeah. What can I say? I cheat sometimes.
I do very often when I can't work it out, I'll
take the couple of words that you put in there
and see what Google throws back at me. I don't
mind. I think this is actually a pretty difficult
game. Sometimes I can spend a good couple of
hours researching the quotes because obviously
when you put a quote in and you say quote, you
then end up with, oh, well, the Dalai Lama once
said this. It's like, no, he really did not say
anything about death falling from Satan's arsehole.
So why have you given me this? Using AI is cheating
at this. Yeah, I won't use AI. Having Google
to help you every now and again, I think it's
fine. But yeah, if you put it into bloody Gemini
or whatever other things, then that is cheating.
Out of all of these, the butterfly effect is
the only one I didn't know. Yeah. Okay, so who
do you think chose the butterfly effect? Well,
I'm going to put Gem down for that one. Gem chose
the butterfly. Is that the one that you thought
was Miranda? Yeah, because you told me the last
one was wrong. Yeah, I put that down as Miranda
because I didn't know Gem had seen this one.
Next. After nine years, you know what I realise?
Ignorance is bliss. And there's a delicious steak
Cypher's eating right there. For the original
Matrix, and that's Jem. Yeah, I really love that
scene, you know. It's a really cool scene. It's
a great scene, and it's brilliantly acted. It's
the Judas moment, isn't it? Really good. Yeah,
Jem couldn't remember, and she couldn't identify
the film she'd even chosen. Yeah. I gave her
a heavy hint on the Matrix by saying, oh, I'm
enjoying eating this steak right now. And that
was how she got the Matrix. She didn't get the
others. So Miranda didn't get the butterfly effect.
And she didn't get, I think she didn't get the
Martian. She got all hers and the Matrix, so
she missed two. Okay, so special fun for you.
I've been cheeky while you've been away in San
Fran. Oh, cheeky, cheeky. So everyone else would
have heard a version of the intro already. You
haven't. The version you're going to hear is
slightly different because I actually need your
help editing it. So, Mini Monk has done a special
guest the intro. Oh, has she? And she has read
six quotes for me. I did not tell her how to
read them. I gave her no context other than these
are the words that you must say. I told Gem what
films they were from and I specifically said
you cannot tell Mini Monk. like what the film
is or listen to it beforehand so you are now
going to hear the non -mini monk voiceified version
of it so you're going to actually hear her normal
voice right she has requested that i mini monk
fight because apparently she doesn't want to
be seen as uncool because apparently she was
very happy to join in and was very excited to
join in but it's uncool you and me aren't cool
yeah no six seven uh so Oh, you're a gangster
now, aren't you? Blah, blah. Blah, blah. So when
this is done, I need you to tell me how to mini
-monkify her voice. So we're now going to hear
this, and then in the edit, they're actually
just going to hear the mini -monk. I'm not guessing
now, though, am I? No, no. You can if you like.
No. I just want you to hear it because it's fun.
Okay. So ready? Yeah. Rose, where we're going,
we won't use Rose. I am the law. We take off
and nuke the entire site from orbit. It's the
only way to beat them, sure. Come on, you apes.
You want a little brother? Be excellent to each
other and party on, dudes. By Grandad Hammer,
by the sons of Warband, you shall be avenged.
No, I reckon you're going to get every single
one pretty easily. I've got all of those except
for the Nuke for Morbid. I know what film that
is and I genuinely can't think of what it is
off the top of my head. Yeah, well, you better
think about it for a while. Anyway, we just heard
the unedited version of it. Yeah. I need you
to tell me how to Minimunkify it. Very, very
simple. I thought it was, but I just want to
make sure I get it right. Yeah. And then that's
what everyone else will hear when they would
have played it. Nice. Thank you, everybody. Oh,
and nobody got them all right. Oh. So just you
and me in the winner's lounge again. my own again.
Sorry, everyone. Okay, mister, what have you
been up to? Oh, I went to San Francisco. Oh,
yeah, you did, yeah. I got done up the bum because
it's very expensive there. So expensive. Robot
cars. oh yeah we've got to go to a robot car
that had no driver and everyone i've shown that
video to went no thanks and what the hell i'm
scared was i think ganon's uh words was it what
they call wemos waymo waymos there's two out
there at the moment there's waymo and there's
zooks and zooks is just about to pass so at the
moment it's still got someone that sits behind
the wheel but they don't do anything okay so
you get in this self -driving car and there's
just this bloke sat there looking at you he was
like hi was he just on like his iphone or something
that's That's more worrying because it's like
they don't trust their car. Well, they're not
allowed to. That's the point. Until they've got
their license, they've got to do it like that.
Oh, it's so clever. So clever. Any hairy moments?
I don't know if I sent the video. We got to a
green light and the car kind of cut across and
ours just went, yeah, okay, I'll let you go.
And then it just stayed, sat still. And it's
like, the road's clear. And then on the screen,
it came up with waiting for junction to clear.
junction's clear car you can go and it was really
uncomfortable because there were cars behind
us we're waiting for them to start hooting their
horns and it's just like come on and then just
suddenly it went and off we went i mean what
what would hooting your horn at a An automatic
car do? Or is it going to come up with a red
screen and go, bastard, bastard. Reverses into
them at speed. Hey, there's no driver. It's not
going to hurt me. A democratic flamethrower would
appear from the top and turn around. Say what?
It was a very odd sensation. They were Jags.
They're all Jaguar. And they're so very clever.
So, I mean, to geek out a little bit. tesla for
their self -driving uses natural vision in effect
so lots of cameras and it's looking at real -time
images yeah it doesn't have those other cases
whereas waymo has lidar on the roof on every
corner it has true vision cameras so it's looking
at the real things as well it's got food it's
got so many sensors but the really cool thing
is as you're driving along you've got this screen
in the middle And it's showing you everything
it's picking up around it. Now, if you look at
that on the Tesla, it's just kind of clip art
of things. So we think there's a lorry, so that's
what we're going to draw there. We think there's
a cyclist, so that's what we're going to draw
there. The LiDAR literally gives you these wireframes,
and they're exactly what it's seeing. So when
the bus went past, you can tell it's the bus
that's going past. It's really detailed. Apparently
that... maybe it was Elon Musk himself or whatever,
they took LiDAR out of the Teslas because they
were like, oh, no, our AI is so good, we don't
need the LiDAR. When every single other company
is using it because it's far superior. It is.
It's just it makes the car uglier because it
needs more. Exactly. If you're in the market
to buy a self -driving car, I don't think you're
going to have a choice about whether it looks
cool or not. Yeah, you'd be paying by the mile.
But, oh, my God, it's amazing. It was weird as
hell. but very, very clever. And then you've
got the app, and as you walk up to the car, you
press a button and it unlocks the doors. When
you get in, you can control the air conditioning
from the app. You can control the radio station
from the app. As I say, the screen in the middle
shows everyone what's going on and what it can
see. I did see it was complaining people hadn't
put their seatbelts on. Oh, yeah, the three in
the back. Put your seatbelts on. It still drove
off eventually. Oh, yeah. I guess because it
could have kind of assumed that maybe you just
put your luggage on the back seat. It's not going
to really know. Possibly, possibly. And I think,
I couldn't quite see the name, but it looked
like it said hello. Yeah, it said hello to my
colleague who'd booked it in his app. Yeah, I
noticed that. How was the actual show? Because
you went to a Microsoft... Do you want to talk
about it now or are you going to talk about it
later? Yeah, we can talk about it now. So I went
to Microsoft Ignite, which for the IT people
out there will know exactly what it is. For people
that don't, it's Microsoft's big trade show about
what's coming up this kind of year and what they're
focusing on. And this year was just Copilot AI.
We're introducing Copilot to all of these things.
We're giving you Copilot. If you've got these
certain licenses, we're combining into this.
And then what you've got is other than the...
big keynote you've then got a week of oh it's
like from 7 a .m through to 6 p .m of seminars
and i think we did between us about seven seminars
a day and yet you went to them you learned and
we learned loads and there was loads of stuff
that we're going to bring back to the company
to do but the most impressive the best bit about
it is that also they had an entire conference
floor of people there showing what's new so there
was logitech there there was dell there all the
big it names were there um oracle databases for
example had an f1 simulator set up and every
day they were giving whoever got top uh top speed
got a giant lego set nice and there's all sorts
of things going on and it's a full -on f1 simulator
full -on um you need the strength to brake to
accelerate steering all of that brilliantly done
so we went on that several times obviously yeah
absolutely um loads and loads of freebies which
is always good free kind of fido security keys
and all yeah baseball hats loads of stickers
as you can see on the uh oh that's where they're
all from yeah yeah the tablet so you got covered
in stickers which was quite cool um But yeah,
we were out there for that. But no, we got to
do some cool things as well. We got there a day
early because of flights. So we got to do Alcatraz,
which was awesome. We got to go to an NBA game
and we saw the home team lose, winning. But I've
got to say, you know, I don't like sport. I would
go and watch NBA again. It's such a different
thing over there. They had this entire crowd,
24 ,000 people. not one person could you say
was vile, rude to the ref, jeering, shouting.
The only thing you got was when the opponents
went up to take a penalty shot, the whole stadium
boos them. Yeah. But that is it. There's no,
you're an effing C and any of that shit, or the
ref doesn't know what he's doing, any of that,
not there at all. I think. that's an American
sport thing. They have a kind of thing in baseball
where they do shout stuff out to the players,
but it's quite innocent and funny. You know,
if you ever hear like American soccer chants,
because they would call it, they're so tame.
There's no swearing and they're just like, go
team, go team, win, win, win. And I wouldn't
say no one was drunk either. Everyone was enjoying
it. Yeah, you're allowed to take alcohol to your
seat. Okay. Yep, absolutely. And not an eyelid
batted at that. $21 for a beer. There you go.
That's a good example of why. Well, and I think
that's probably why they do do that. So the beer
was $21, yet I, for about $28, I got a hot dog,
unlimited Pepsi refills, a giant ice cream, and
chips. They do like their refills of sugar drinks.
Soft drinks, yeah. Mountain Dew on tap as well.
Were you drinking that? Were you drinking Coke?
I had a Mountain Dew as well. Did you have Coke
though? Because I think their Coke is different.
Isn't it? I said to you that. The Florida one,
the Coke was just different. Oh yeah. And their
Pepsi tasted like Pepsi used to. Yeah, there's
something about it that I was addicted to it
out there. The Coke was just, as I said before,
they forgot to remove the Coke from their Coke.
But I mean, yeah. It's a very expensive place.
Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, we did the cable cars, so
we got to go up the hill and down the hill on
the cable cars from where we were to the wharf
and back again. And for one of those trips, it
was so busy, I had to stand on the rutting board
of the cable car. So literally, I've got a size
11 foot, only half of your foot fits on it. So
I'm stood on this thing going up and down the
hill, holding onto a bar while we're just flying
up and down. Yeah, no thanks. You're brave. That
was great fun. That is the one that's got the
zigzags going down the slopes. That's Lombard,
yeah. Did you see that? We saw that as well.
Oh, that's cool. But Fisherman's Wharf. So there's
a load of piers which is on the bay, which take
you over to Alcatraz. There is an old Penny Arcade
Museum. nice and you walk in and the first thing
you notice is just loads and loads of old kind
of early you put your penny in and mechanically
something would happen but then you'd spot oh
look then they've got early pinball machines
that's very cool and then the further you went
in all of a sudden you were saying hang on That's
Time Crisis. That's Area 51. That's Cruising
USA. And they just had a load of old school 90s
arcade machines. Was it like going up through
time? No, it was mixed around eventually, but
they had the original asteroids there. They had
Basils. Oh, they had so many arcade machines.
And it was like 50 cents a go. Excuse me to all
the people who do know geography. Is that where
the Golden Gate Bridge is? It is, yes. So did
you get to see that? We got to see it at a distance.
We didn't have enough time to, because it's really
over in, not Fort Baxter, that's Phil Silver's
show. It's Fort Baker, sorry, is the nearest
part of San Francisco to the bridge. And there's
the national park. From where we were, if we
were to walk, it would have been about a two
hour walk. And we just didn't have time, annoyingly.
I mean, it took us an hour to walk from our hotel
to the wharf, which is where Alcatraz was. So
hence the reason we started using the cable car.
If we'd been there another day, we would have
done. But we still got some good views of it.
We still saw how magnificently large it was.
Oh, yeah. Everything in America is big. Oh, it
was giant. Restaurants, food, food. What did
you eat? Food was amazing. So we were out there,
myself, our head of software development, our
technical architect, and we were brought out
by a new company called Agro Berries, who are
based in Chile. Oh, I love that name, Agro Berries.
Agro Berries, yeah. I like that name. So we had
their head of IT, and then they also have a company
called Berry Fresh, which is out in Los Angeles.
So we had their head of IT. So it was kind of
a bonding thing, because we were kind of formulating
where our teams were going to merge into one
team. And it was really good. We all got on fame.
Really good blokes. Really good fun. Had so much
fun with them. But we went out for dinner almost
every night on the company credit card, the bills.
Well, you should be. Well, San Francisco, as
expensive as it is, the average bill, do you
want to guess? $300. $450. Yeah, I mean, it's
not surprising. But I've got to say, it's a work
trip. You wouldn't be buying food if you were
at home. It's the company's responsibility to
pay for every single thing that you have when
you're at home. We had a couple of Burger Kings
because we found a Burger King there. Again,
very nice. But our dinners are the best ones.
We went to John's Grill, which was featured in
an old film called The Maltese Falcon, where
I had New York steak. And holy shit, that was
good. How big? 16 ounce. Jeez. It was delicious.
It was so good. How did you have it cooked? Medium
rare. I won't go rare, but I won't do anything
above medium. Medium rare is the right spot.
Was there anything with any pigmented colour
on there that isn't just brown? Did you have
any greenery? I mean, to be fair... I had carrots
with it. Okay, orange, that's good. It's difficult,
I found, in Florida to get veg in a restaurant.
But then we went to the oldest grill there called
Tideach. Tideach. Also had steak there. But why
not? And that was equally as delicious. It was
amazing. The same kind of steak? Yeah, yeah,
yeah. I didn't feel it was right to spend the
extra $10 on a ribeye, but there you go. Did
they have any fillets? They had filet mignon,
and that was another $20 -odd on top of the $50.
Is that the one that's got the sauce on it? Is
that what filet mignon is? No, no, no. It's a
specific steak. I'm just calling it a fillet.
Is that a filet mignon? No, a filet mignon is
a specific filet cut. Sorry for all the posh
people listening. I don't know. I get my steak
down the calf. We had steak. Now opposite our
hotel was Mel's Diner, which is meant to be the
oldest diner there. Okay. Not like the brand
they have over here. Oh, it was so funny. Is
it a tourist trap? No, it's just, it genuinely
gets work people in there all day, every day.
And we went in for breakfast and we're looking
through the menu and I was, oh, I think I'll
have the lumberjack. It was a... ham steak egg
and grilled potatoes i think so and she came
out so i'm so sorry we've run out of ham steaks
do you mind sausages oh no i don't mind sausage
oh and it had it was meant to have um two buttermilk
pink pancakes with it as well okay now i'm thinking
american style pancakes so slightly small yeah
my breakfast came out on two plates With two
giant fuck of pancakes on it. Yeah, yeah. A big
portion of maple syrup. Three fried eggs done
sunny side up. Yeah. Three sausages. Oh, wow.
And an entire plate of grilled potatoes. Oh,
my God. And I was just like, oh, shit. You should
have gone to Cracker Barrel. Did you go to a
Cracker Barrel? Oh, we didn't, but I kept seeing
the adverts for it because the adverts are so
delightfully 70s for it because the logo hasn't
changed. Well, no, they did change the logo and
there was uproar for about two weeks. They moved
it back. Yeah. Because apparently the old guy,
you know, you know that, you know. Yeah. Yeah.
So they put it back. Cracker Barrel turned around.
So there were two places we did want to eat and
we never got around to it. There was an IHOP.
Okay. I've heard of it. I thought it disappeared.
International House of Pancakes. And an Applebee's,
which again, I thought had died to death. I've
been to an Applebee's. We ate at Cheesecake Factory.
Oh, yeah. Did you have a massive slice of cheesecake?
Oh, yeah. Yeah? I was buzzing for hours. It was
tiramisu cheesecake. Oh, nice. Jesus, I was buzzing.
Did you have another steak there? What did I
have there? Because they do normal food there,
too. No, I had fried chicken. Yeah? Yeah, and
that was okay. It was a bit dry, to be honest.
It was a fried chicken with maple syrup, chips,
and... No, it was with mash, sorry, not chips.
Right. It wasn't all that. I wasn't blown away
by that. Almost chicken and waffles. It was got
the maple syrup. You just need the waffle with
it, because that is amazing. That is an amazing
meal. Anyway, that's what I did in San Francisco.
You want to know about the films, I guess, that
I've seen and what I've watched this week? Yeah,
on the plane, what was it? Well, I actually didn't
watch anything on their screen, although their
screen had loads of good films and it had the
new Naked Gun on there, which I was very tempted
by. In order, I watched Playdate, which is at
Amazon Prime, our favourite actors in there,
along with Kevin James. I really want to see
that. Really funny. Yeah. It's a turn -your -brain
-off film, but it's very, very funny. Really,
really good fun. Then I watched The Ministry
of Ungentlemanly Warfare. I want to see that
too. Which, again, was him. Again, phenomenal.
Didn't realise how much of a real story it was
based on. Yeah, it's meant to be the start of
the SAS or something. Yeah, in effect. The first
few books. Henry Cavill's it. Yeah, in effect,
where he got the idea for James Bond from, Ian
Fleming. And then I sat through Interstellar,
which I'd never seen. Interstellar's brilliant.
Very long. It's not a plane film, though. Well,
it is when you've got a 10 -hour flight. No,
but you want a massive screen, great sound. Yeah,
no, I was quite happy with it on the tablet with
my headphones on. Yeah, really cool film. Didn't
expect Matt Damon to turn up in it in an evil
way. What did you think about, right, everyone
spoilers, if you haven't seen it, the stuff inside
the black hole? Yeah. It started to go a little
bit oolah, pee -pee -poo -poo to go there. And
it's just like, I kind of understand what they're
doing and this is the only way you could really
display it. I understand that. But at the same
time, I don't know if they could have... done
something different i don't know it's really
awkward it's a very sad film as well oh yeah
i think every moment that he is away is 20 moments
in his daughter's life is a very sad things like
that when they get stuck on the first planet
and it's like 70 years has already passed yeah
and they just know like that's it everything
we've been working with gone yeah it's it's horrible
um I still don't understand time dilation. I
still can't get my head around it. And it's a
horrible film because the fact is they don't
save Earth. No. If you think about it, they don't
actually save Earth. They managed to launch the
custom -built building that's actually a space
station thanks to the daughter. thanks to him
being in a black hole pointing them in the right
way um i think again that was the other thing
as well knowing what binary is zeros and ones
and the information they need to unless the information
was like one sentence that she needs to manage
to do the correct um oh what's the word um my
brain's gone absolutely blank when you talk when
the equation that's it when she's trying to work
out the equation unless she's literally that
close she only needs one sentence she would have
been staring in that watch for years going one
zero oh shit i missed one oh no no it makes no
sense at all that's the only bit that's a bit
you know what that's really stupid time dilation
isn't the right word what's the word i should
have been saying when the time's different yeah
it was time because yeah in theory the faster
you go and the further away time moves differently
i thought time moves differently absolutely so
yeah so there was that so that was the plane
flight out there and then coming back uh i did
watch some tv on the plane i watched a show called
the pit which is uh noah while kind of recounting
re kind of becoming his role of carter from er
but they didn't get the license for it so It's
a spiritual successor where he's got different
characters. It's, in effect, ER based in this
era now. And they just didn't get the license,
so they just renamed it all. They got in trouble
over it. What a surprise. So I watched a few
episodes of that. Watched Jackpot on Prime. I
don't know what that is either. uh the actress
who does all the voices um for kids films and
i can't think of what her name is so i'm going
to very very quickly look her up because as soon
as you see her you know who i'm going to be talking
about uh the idea is is that she's gone to la
to be an actress la's really really gone downhill
to the point that they now host a monthly oh
yeah um Aquafina? Aquafina. Yeah, I'm not even
going to try pronouncing that one again. So the
LA lot hold a, I think it's a monthly lottery
where you get this little digital ticket, you
enroll it with your thumbprint, and if you win,
you win however much money it is. However, you
have to survive until sundown because anyone
that has a lottery ticket can come and kill you.
They're not allowed to use a gun. They've got
to use something physical. but if they kill you
they get the lottery prize instead right and
it's basically she accidentally activates a lottery
ticket without knowing what it is then wonders
why everyone's trying to kill her john senna
owns a protection company that's designed to
protect these lottery winners and it goes on
from there really fun that sounds fun it was
so funny again it's a turn your brain off film
really fun and then final film i know you said
you wanted this shorter but happy gilmore God,
I need to watch it because I want to see the
second one. I haven't seen it either. I'd never
seen it and I thought, I've got to see it. Oh,
so good. It's meant to be. I forgot how much,
as much as I don't like Adam Sandler, I do like
Adam Sandler. It's really odd. The film of his
I want to watch again is when he's like the devil's
kid. Oh, Little Nicky. Yeah, I want to watch
that one again, but it's so hard to find to watch.
Yeah, they're not easy to get hold of. I mean,
my favourite was always The Waterboy. Yeah, I
have seen it, but a long time ago. Yeah. Happy
Gilmore's worth it. It's got a lot of things
in it. You forget who he's friends with. So a
somewhat minor role in it is Ben Stiller. Well,
they're all SNL. All of them are SNL. Of course
they are. All of that lot are all SNL. Yeah,
but Ben Stiller's a small part in it. Really
weird. But so, so good. Well, it's like him,
Robert Downey Jr., Owen Wilson, the guy who was
in that Alan Richardson film that you said earlier.
Oh, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And there's some
other guys. Kevin James. Yeah, the other guys
are coming. They're all mates. So they all do
crossover. Oh, well, that makes sense. Chris
Rock. Who else? Oh, God, I could keep naming
all of these American comedians, but they're
all friends. Gotcha. Well, that makes sense.
Oh, no, definitely. If going to see any of them,
I would put Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare
top, then see Happy Gilmore, and then I'd go
Playdate and then Jackpot. Jackpot and Playdate,
actually, I would say you could interchange,
to be fair. Sorry, that was Link. He just whacked
the mic from the side. Yeah, but otherwise, that's
all I watched. Otherwise, in the hotel, it was
watching lots of Friends, South Park, because
that's all that was on Comedy Central. Yeah.
Did you put your credit card on the TV? No, no,
no. The work card. Well, something was hard.
I said work card. Oh, work card. I'm sorry. I
thought you said work hard. I'm always hard.
What have you been up to? Not much. Mine is going
to be very long this time. Yes, well, you said
last time in what, 25 minutes? Yeah, 25 minutes
it was. Were you cutting it even after that?
We'll be cutting it. We've watched a lot of Stranger
Things. We are halfway through season four now,
ready for basically season five comes out. as
of recording this tomorrow so we wanted to be
as close to as we could because it's going to
get spoiled but people just write stuff all over
the place and get spoiled so and we i forgot
how much i really liked liked the strange things
apart from as we said last time episode seven
of season two Diabolical. It's just as bad the
second time I watched it. It's funny you say
that now. I don't know if it was on TechRadar
or if it was on Gizmodo. It's on one of them.
There was an article about Strange Things Is
Coming. We've spoken to the director and he said,
if you're not going to re -watch all the series,
these are the episodes you need to watch. And
he's literally just said, yeah, just watch these
four and you'll be ready for the next season.
Yeah. I mean, we're watching it all. The thing
is, though, they do button it up. like the end
of each season it's it's a season and then they
have a little bit which crosses over you know
just like the i know i don't want to spoil it
for you but like the upside down it just kind
of gets progressively worse at the end of each
one and that's kind of really the only thing
that's going other than character relationships
that's very easy to pick up on within the first
episode next season um i just imagine because
season five is the last one they might you know
cross a few t's and dot a few i's of older stuff
yeah um and yeah if there's only four episodes
i imagine that's probably just the last episode
of each season because it probably would be enough
you know um but aside from that especially all
the tv we've been watching i've watched a lot
of youtube because i always do i've kind of fallen
into a fred dibner hole Oh, Fred Dibner. Yeah,
Steeplejack. 1970s Steeplejack. I was watching
it literally before you came out. Doesn't it
feel you just full of absolute dread watching
him climb up the chimney? And it's like, I know
he's lived. I know he survived. But this is horrible.
Yeah, so he's really funny. He's very funny.
Like there's a kind of documentary filmed when
he was a young man on YouTube. And it's like
45 to 50 minutes long. And it is. wonderful to
watch i've seen it so many times i've literally
i was watching it earlier i'm 10 minutes back
into it um and just like his mum's in it and
he's saying like oh yeah well i redid it i was
17 i just redid a chimney stack she hated it
like and like no you know those old terrace houses
we'd have four um you know one of those thick
chimney stacks with four pots on top yeah when
he went up there three of them don't even get
used so he knocked it down just built a new one
beautiful kind of almost like architecture um
um Jimmy said he goes I think designers built
it and it just ended up like this but the guy
apparently went to art school you see him do
these most beautiful drawings all by hand and
he said that was winning him jobs because other
company would just like give him a crappy little
and I just pointed out though beautiful artist
really good artist because uh later on he does
narrowboats and steam engines oh yeah steam engine
stuff's wicked I've seen him before Teaching
boys to bake cakes. That's no way to maintain
an industrial empire. Yeah, I mean, he was a
man of his time. Oh, 100%. He's a guy who lives
covered, caked in stuff. Constantly, he was like,
if you listen to him, constantly going through
apprentices because they kept sending him to
the pub. Eventually, he kind of didn't want to.
You know, a man's man, you know, that's him.
He... I kind of lost train of thought of what
I was saying, but... yeah just seeing him go
up on all these huge like towers and stuff with
no harnesses but there's a really good one it's
not part of the documentary that i'm talking
about but another one where he shows you how
he lashes the ladders to the side of chimneys
he's literally just props a ladder up puts a
bit of rope around it and goes up and then when
he's up the top he kind of he has these just
weird slithers of metal which he hammers by hand
into the water and then ties the ladder off to
it and then up he goes again And then he's got
his mate that he employs who's just down there
smoking a bottle, occasionally tagging a ladder
onto a rope that he pulls up by hand. And he's
like 50 ladders up. Balancing on one foot. Oh,
and in the, because this is so sci -fi related,
when he's all the way at the top in the documentary,
when he's all the way at the top, he's got to
get onto these planks of wood around the top
of this chimney stack. Well, he doesn't go like
on the chimney stack side. He goes around the
outside. No harness. And you can see him wibbling
and wobbling a bit. The guy has got... how he
manages to drag his balls up there i think that's
the biggest it's when he's his wooden chair that's
just held by two ropes and he just ties it off
and then drops himself down and then he's walking
around the edge stretching it's like this is
horrible yeah i don't know how he makes it and
he's knocking them down by hand yep he starts
the fire did you see the one he starts yeah underneath
one to burn it down here you go this is a good
quote talking about dying the ideal way out of
no sorry the ideal way out would be i think instead
of dying in bed of lung cancer or something horrible
like that just to drop off a chimney one sunny
day when i'm about 75 and that'll be the end
well it's a shame really because he died of prostate
cancer yeah but he he's like one of the quotes
he goes um I never worry about falling off a
chimney because you only fall off a chimney once.
Yeah. Well, yeah, I guess. But he said he's never
fallen off, but the worst damage he ever did
was he fell off a stepladder in a little girl's
bedroom doing something in her room. He fell
off a stepladder and out of work for weeks because
he'd done his backing or something. The man was
just a legend, an absolute legend. He's so telegenic.
Yeah. I saw him once on his steam engine. I can't
remember where we were as a family. Maybe we
were up north. And yeah, it was a steam fair.
And there he was. I've seen him. So I'm pretty
sure the one that's in the documentary is the
one I've seen. Oh, that's cool. Which is brilliant.
At the time, I probably didn't appreciate who
he was. I remember dad saying that's who he was.
But I probably didn't really appreciate it at
the time. Now it would have been starstruck.
The old man used to watch the Channel 4 series
that he used to run. He used to run a whole Channel
4 series. That was about his steam engines, I
think, yeah. And I used to just avoid it. And
then just weirdly one afternoon I was flicking
through YouTube and it just came up with like
black and white footage, BBC archive, Fred Dibner
up a chimney. Oh, you know, I'll watch that because
that looks terrifying. And then you've even,
oh, I just felt bad because there's one that,
they show him going up the chimney he puts all
the ladder up and the BBC are following him and
they go up with the crane takes him up instead
so he doesn't have to climb up the ladder and
the bloody cameraman climbs out gets the camera
handed to him he's like mate you've got pretty
big bollocks to be doing that as well this is
what my dad was saying to me the other day because
we were watching it at his and he was like how
are they filming this have they got one of those
big machines they won't have had cherry pickers
in the 70s no but yeah like there's there's a
cameraman up there with one of them the cameraman
follows him up and actually goes up the ladders
and then the other one he's on the kind of one
of those giant scissor lifts but the cameraman
has a huge camera with him so he's doing all
of that plus one of those massive what 15 kilo,
maybe a bit more cameras on his shoulder? No
way. Well, I wonder if he brought the camera
up when he's up top. I wonder if they took it
up by rope like they were doing with the ladders.
No, well, he doesn't bring his ladder up pretty
carefully because I wouldn't want to put my really
expensive camera slammed into the chimney all
the way up. Oh, but you know, absolute legend,
mate. I've got stuck watching his stuff before.
Yeah, that is it. It's been Stranger Things and
Fred Dibner Hole. Wow. It's not a bad place to
be sandwiched between. Well, before we get on
to the film, I've got something else to bring
up. So why don't we press that button? Accessing
library computer data. The reason we're all here
to watch a film from 2006, which felt like it
was from the 90s for how many times they said
fag and retard. It's exactly what I said. Gemma's
like, I want to watch it with you so I know what
you're talking about in there. And I said, look,
I don't think we're going to get time the next
film. Then I watched it and I went to Gemma straight
away and said, you would have hated this. The
number of times they said fag, it was just not
your type of comedy. And she's like, oh, okay.
yeah holy shit my judge dropped a fucking ball
on this one yeah i text james earlier and i was
like this film is the most 90s film i've ever
watched considering it came out in 2006 now i've
i'm i'm not going to censor any of my swearing
in this one i've never heard the word retard
and fag said so many times in one show it was
constant like Idiocracy we're talking about,
by the way. Before we get into it, so Idiocracy,
filmed by Mike Judge. Mike Judge you will have
known for Beavers and Butthead, which some of
you might go away and go, well, of course it
was going to be bad. I love Beavers and Butthead.
In its own way, it's actually a very clever comedy,
Beavis and Butthead. In other ways, it is just
grotesque and fucking stupid. But that's what
made it work. But Mike Judge also went off and
did things like King of the Hill, which is one
of them. Which is fantastic. An absolutely fantastic
adult comedy up there and probably swinging and
getting as high a score as The Simpsons in some
ways. He did Office Space, which is a phenomenal
film. Then we've got Beavis and Butthead Did
America. He's got the new Beavis and Butthead
series, the new Beavis and Butthead film, which,
again, have been equally absolutely brilliant.
He absolutely misstepped with this. It's such
a weird fucking film. So do you want to describe
what the film is? So there is a guy who works
in the military. He is like a librarian. And
for whatever reason, they want to test out. um
putting people to in cryo status basically the
effect it has on people he is the most perfectly
average person in every way average intelligent
average held average high average weight everything
about him he is bog standard average yeah and
they want to use him as like the litmus paper
for testing this stuff along with the prostitute
along with for some reason the prostitute So
they pop them into these machines. I'm not going
to go too into detail, but they pop them into
these machines. Stuff happens. They end up being
opened 500 years later by accident. And everyone
is now stupid because only the stupid people
were populating the planet. And that's it. But
that is the plot. And basically they're going
to... The stupid people have taken over and they
are slowly dying because the earth has come to
a stall, basically. They've got no food growing.
Dust storms are killing them. And there's a lot
of automations, like the hospitals automate.
There's a lot of automated stuff. Yeah, I said
to you off air, it should have stayed on TikTok.
The clips are funny. Yes. But when you watch
the whole film, it's not. Yeah, there's very
few clips on TikTok and those very few clips
are the best bits. Oh, the funny bits. The funniest
bit in it, I think, is the bit that's also quite
the darkest. And it's the very beginning when
the voiceover is explaining what happened. And
you've basically got a... white trash family
i think they'd describe as it yeah um having
sex with their cousins brothers sisters and you
slowly watch their family tree grow and grow
and grow and grow and it's just hundreds of relations
all all spanning off the same three people hence
the reason you're going to get this inbred side
of things But then the other part of it is every
time that you see something happen to that family
and another generation be born, it then goes
back to this other couple who can't have a baby
and then eventually dies masturbating trying
to give his semen donation. So then she's like,
well, I'm sure I'll have a baby at some point.
Then it goes back over to the hillbillies and
they've just taken over. And the idea is that
that is what happened and that's why the earth
is in this state because these people, were the
ones that kept on replicating, whereas the normal,
sensible human beings weren't. Yeah. I mean,
I wasn't laughing at that, but I did enjoy that
bit. I didn't laugh out loud until he was attached
to a rock and a forklift pushed the rock down
the stairs. Yes. That was the first laugh out
loud bit. And let me tell you, that was an hour
into the film of an hour and 24 minutes. An hour
and 24 minutes that, thank God, didn't feel longer.
yeah it i mean i watched over three days so i
kind of didn't have the i mean i watched 45 minutes
of that today the first two like short bits and
i was kind of today like i was at the point was
i have to watch this because we're recording
i wasn't enjoying it and i'm gutted because i've
wanted to watch this film i've seen so many times
it's come up and the premise of it was a really
funny idea So it should have been really good.
And with Mike Judge being involved, I will stay
on that mountain. I will stay on that. It should
have been good with him. But, oh, wow. Dax Shepard's
character, Freeto, I found him so frustrating
because the voice he put on, I couldn't actually
understand it. And it wasn't like he was going
to, that everyone's an idiot. And they literally
were, he mumbled idiocy. And it was actually
too difficult to understand what was going on.
Terry Crews was actually quite good. I liked
Terry Crews' character. Terry Crews was one of
the only saving graces of this film. Justin Long
was in it too. He played the Doctor. Good character.
I liked Justin Long in stuff. But again, the
rest of it was just tosh. Sorry. Yeah, it really
was. I mean, the whole premise of... He only
wanted to do the last few years in the library
and then he was going to get his pension. Really
typical trope. Nothing special about that, but
you kind of accept that. Then you have the whole
family tree bit, which by the way, Hank and Bobby
from King of the Hill appear on the hillbilly
side. Then we're thrown into this bit that they're
meant to be in the future. Rubbish has just been
dumped everywhere and they've just got these
mountainscapes of rubbish. And then the collapse
of one of those is what triggers this whole event
and them being found. And yeah, we were taken
straight into Dax, who's playing Frito. And it's
just obnoxious. And I know the idea is all these
people are meant to be obnoxious. And I've forgotten
what he said. It was like a cross between gangster.
And the various different kind of slang languages
that we had around the 2000s. It just really,
really, it just didn't work. Yeah. I quite laughed
at the giant Costco. So they're going across
the wasteland to go and find a time machine.
Yeah. Because he hopes he can go back in time
and stop it all from happening. So he's, oh,
well, there's one at the Costco, so we can go
to Costco. And if anyone's ever been to a Costco
in the UK or the US especially, you know just
how big they are. And then you get to this Costco
in the film and it's just comically, it's got
an entire train service inside it. And I genuinely
thought, you know what, that's quite a funny
elaboration on what Costco is becoming now. But
the Mountain Dew in the water, because of the
kind of clips that we watched. So one of the
things that's happening is this company have
taken over basically everything, the FCC and
other companies. So now they just sell their
energy drink to everybody. They own everything.
And they've basically replaced water. So in every
single scenario, apart from toilet bowls, by
the sound of it, which is a part of the film,
it's this energy drink. I can't remember what
it's called now off the top of my head. But the...
There's a bit where he has to solve the farming
crisis because they're chucking this energy drink,
this green liquid, over the plants. Yeah, because
they felt the water was taking too much of the
market share. Yeah. That everything has become
this energy drink. And one of the things he does
is tell people they should change it for water.
And then half the people get fired because all
the stock of this company go down because they're
not using it anymore. Anyway. I thought that
was a small bit, was going to be a small bit
of like some kind of big thing of him finding
all these things wrong. Like the way that you
see it in like trailers, it's almost like he's
just walking through life and stumbling upon
these instances, like a small farming family
who are using energy drink instead of water.
So he helps them out. And then he was going to
stumble upon something else and stumble. Not
this grand, I'm going to become the president
kind of scenario. And actually the water crisis.
was the only thing he was solving. That was it.
That was it because it solves everything else.
Which I think is the wrong step. I think they
went too big with that. And actually, they could
have done it as if he's some kind of Jesus character
going around and solving all these weird problems
and people talking about, oh my God, he changed
it. These people are too thick to do medicine.
So it's like coming around and putting a plaster
on someone and then not dying. Yeah. Well, the
receptionist just had this big machine and it
was like pictures of what was wrong and she had
to guess based on what he was saying. Yeah, so
you've got broken leg picture, broken arm picture,
gunshot wound, things like that. And again, quite
a novel idea, but it just fell flat. Didn't realise,
did you watch any of the post -credits? There
was one post -credits scene. Yeah, I didn't.
So Upgrade emerges from a third pod, apparently.
Yeah, so Upgrade is the ladies' pimp. Oh, which
was quite a fun... joke actually yeah i didn't
find it funny but i enjoyed that it was very
sweet so yeah throughout the entirety of it joe's
so innocent that he believes this prostitute
genuinely is an artist because she sarcastically
says she's an artist yeah um and her pimp was
her boyfriend who was also her manager yeah so
he was like i don't think you should have really
your boyfriend be your manager for your art career
which is a silly little thing it was sweet it
may i think it made joe seem sweet Yeah, it did.
And that's one of the redeeming features of it,
I think. But then for every redeeming feature
there is, which there really aren't many, there's
just another joke that lands flat. So the whole
Fuddruckers joke, where the name changes and
then it's just buttfuckers. It's buttfuckers.
You saw it in Marloff. It wasn't even remotely
funny. You know, all the happy endings for all
the different things. for men to have because
everyone's obsessed with sex did you notice that
in cost was it by costco had all the the different
shops inside it and all of them said like happy
ending and all these other oh yeah so so all
the businesses there are the brands that we all
know like starbucks and stuff like that but they're
just all all whores they're all places yeah or
the the rochambeau that was happening constantly
because the actor was in that show yeah in the
again not funny No. I didn't really get it. Well,
it's a take on the joke The Simpsons did. If
you remember, there's an episode of The Simpsons
where they invite a film critic to Springfield
and Homer gets to be a judge and all he wants
to vote for is football to the groin. Oh, God,
yeah, I remember that, yeah. And that's the entire
joke. But they did it brilliantly because they
play on the fact that Homer has to make the decision
between something he genuinely finds funny. but
realizes that it's shit and that he's actually
got to look at the merit of the other films.
I thought the point of this was when you see
famous people in real life, they're not who they're
portraying on screen. So you wouldn't go up to,
I don't know, Keanu Reeves and start thinking
he was Neo. He wouldn't start talking to him
like he was Neo. Like this guy, he plays someone
who kicks people in the bollocks on his show.
Doesn't mean you should run up to him and kick
him in the bollocks. It happens to him like twice.
And they do the joke twice, don't they? To this
poor bloke. Yeah, at least. I think it might
be even three times. Didn't find it funny. No.
And I like, I think, I think kicking someone
in the bollocks is funny. I didn't think it was
funny in this film. I quite liked the idea. that
all the various Secretaries of State, Secretary
of Defence, are all there because they won a
competition. I think only one of them won a competition,
the kid, I thought. Oh, was it the kid? I thought
all of them. He was drinking Jack Daniels from
a bottle later on, which was interesting. Yeah,
that's true. So I quite like that, yeah, you've
got all these various people running the country
that, again, have no idea. And again, it's a
portrayal of what... People somewhat think of
politics and we don't talk about politics, but
even that was limited in its range. It could
have been had so much more done with it. It could
have had him, like you say, go and tweet to them.
Have you thought about doing it like this? And
then you could just have a scene with them going
and looking around and trying what Joe said,
seeing it work and go, oh, and then take credit
for it. But then they made that whole thing better
for them there and whatever. It would have been
good to have got an idea. you know what would
have been funny right what would have absolutely
been funnier joe at some point just going well
what happened to england what happened to france
what happened to australia and just them saying
oh they don't talk to us no more and literally
just have a quick scene but and everywhere else
is absolutely normal yeah it's just like yeah
and just everywhere it's got signs i don't talk
to america don't answer the phone exactly america's
you could have just had something like that so
the rest of the world are like yeah no we're
not going down that route Yeah. So you could
have had that in there, and that would have been
funnier than the vast majority of this film.
Hang on, 001, isn't that what you put when you're
in America to call England? No, 001 is, yeah,
as an American number. Here's a little quiz for
you. What's the name of the two cars in the battle
scene? Not the big third one. Oh, the dildozer.
Yeah. And the... Oh, shit. ass blaster the ass
blaster yes not funny no not funny quite i will
admit I snickered at the fact that they then
have this third one where they're all going,
he's gone bigger, he's gone better. And it literally
just can't get the door. It just collapses and
dies. I chuckled at that too. I did. I thought,
actually, you know what? That's quite funny.
Because it went forward and reversed a couple
of times and the whole thing just crushed it.
Yeah. Until Big Supreme got out of it. Beef Supreme.
Beef Supreme. That was fucking stupid. It was
really fucking stupid. Sorry, everyone. I think
I've been a little bit far away from the mic
for a little bit there. I hope that's not getting
caught up. Borne... Brondos, isn't it? Brandos.
Brondos. Got electrolytes. It's got electrolytes.
Yeah, it's got electrolytes. It's what plants
crave. To be fair, that bit was quite funny.
You saying it just made me laugh. Why are you
giving it to them? It's got electrolytes. Plants
crave it. Yeah, it's what plants need. But why
are you giving it? Plants. crave it yeah braundo's
got electrolytes it's but even they did it for
too long yeah there's little aspects of it this
is why it's good on tiktok or on youtube shorts
because there are little bits of it that are
good in their own little bottled environments
but as soon as you put it into tiktok as soon
as you put it into an hour and 24 minutes and
all together where the story is not very good
there's so many other bits that aren't funny
the bits that are funny just get washed away
you know the that whole bit where he's at the
farm with the the green goo coming out of the
taps that's a cool little thing and it does interest
you to watch it you know that electrolyte bit
would be a funny tiktok yeah that's it just that
bit but as i said before the clip of him when
he gets arrested and where his first time he
escapes from prison he just says i know i'm meant
to be i'm meant to be coming out so they go you're
on the wrong line dick yeah that was good that's
interesting or the um when he's having his iq
tested And I've got it here. If you have one
bucket that contains two gallons and another
bucket that contains seven gallons, how many
buckets do you have? Two. So, yeah. I think,
personally, I wonder if it was massively, massively
cut back or he was forced to change it. I don't
know. Because it's so different than all of his
other stuff. Because he clearly can do good shows.
Absolutely clearly can. So what went wrong with
this one? What was it? Was the studio interfering
with it? I'm sure there's going to be something.
Just quickly before we go too deep in that, another
little bit that I did quite enjoy when it had
the two newscasters both really attractive. people
what dude with no clothes on and the woman with
like a corset on and the little screen comes
up in the corner of the reporter at the courthouse
and the news reporter turns the wrong way to
look at the screen yeah that i found that funny
no exactly little bits like that it's just the
rest of it it was too much it would have made
a far better film not being a film and being
sketches little sketches for an ongoing sketch
show so yeah joe in the future and um just have
have it as that weirdly it rates 6 .5 on imdb
yeah i'm not sure what i think of that it's i'm
struggling because i think it's worse i don't
think it deserves it i think it's worse than
that and i mean we've seen some shit and i know
we've seen things and we don't agree with scores
all the time but for once I really don't agree
with this score. I know with what's going on
recently over in America and fucking Trump and
all that stuff, you could argue that this is
more some sort of spoof documentary on what's
going to happen out there. Well, I mean, look,
this film is nearly 20 years old. Yeah, 18 years
old. Next year it'll be 20 years old. It's legal.
It feels like at this point... it should be cult
classic -esque, in which point you can ignore
the ratings, in my opinion. But I don't think
it's at that point. This is it. Which means,
in my view, it never will. It got a limited theatrical
release. Fox weren't happy with it, but allegedly
reviewers thought it was good. I don't get it.
I'm genuinely lost. I felt this is not the standard
of film we normally watch. even though we've
just watched yeah but they were bad bad because
they were knowingly bad they were attempting
to be good and bad whereas this was never attempting
to be this was trying to be good a blockbuster
it was just meant to be we're trying to give
you a fun film but unfortunately that doesn't
always work and it missed yeah absolutely big
time that's a shame Transfer complete. Well,
next time, it's a film that shouldn't be missing
the mark. I've seen it multiple times. I really
like it. You've seen it, I'm sure. 1997's film,
The Fifth Element. Multipass? Yeah, starring
Bruce Willis, Mila Jovovich, Gary Oldman, Ian
Holmes, Chris Tucker. I would say it's got to
be... Luke Perry. Who else? Mila Jovovich's first
role, or one of her. Maybe Lee Evans is in it
as well, obviously. Oh, yes. Yes, he is. Who
else we've got here? John Neville. We've got,
who else people might know? Me just going based
on their photos and I'm at the end of the list.
Yeah, lots and lots of people. I think this film
is brilliant. We may have spoken about this before.
I think we've spoken about the practical effects
before because we were linking it to another
movie because I was convinced that the weird
creatures in this. must have been created by
the same person who made something else that
we watched uh yeah that was it i linked it to
galaxy quest because i thought the creature design
in galaxy quest also did the creature designs
in this they didn't they just happened to be
really similar you know the lizard man in galaxy
yeah i thought he looked very similar to some
of the character designs in this uh but yeah
fifth element absolutely brilliant film really
looking forward to watching that again how long
is it um Two hours, six minutes. Two hours. Oh,
that's quite long. I don't remember being that
long. Yeah. Anyway, that's the next one. The
fifth. Good choice. Command functions are offline.
So that's it. I do hope everyone can actually
hear me. And I haven't been too far away from
the microphone. I've been slouching, been miles
away from it. Sorry. So, firstly, thank you to
all of our Ko -Fi people. Please, again, sorry,
I need to write down everyone's names. John,
Karen and James. John, Karen and James, thank
you very much. We do appreciate it. I know I'm
useless with names. Don't take that as me being
horrible. I genuinely, genuinely really appreciate
it. I've said it enough times, now I finally
remember. Thank you. So, who are we? We are Tom
and Rob. We are part of Studio Channel 84. a
network of indie podcasts. Our podcasts are The
Variety Show and what you've listened to just
now, The Untitled Sci -Fi Show. You can also
find other Studio Channel 84 shows just like
Karen and Adam at Lightly Used and Simon and
Ross at Who Takes Socks Off. You can find us
on channel84 .co .uk. That's right, isn't it?
TJ. channel84 .co .uk yes sorry my mind then
um yeah channel84 .co .uk all of our socials
are on there all of our emails i mean i'd say
podcasts at channel84 .co .uk or rob and tom
um we are linking or we have linked all of the
studios discords into just one which is So easiest
way to find the Discord is head over to channel84
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this on to specifically the Untitled Sci -Fi
one because I've got a fun little game that I've
played with a few people today and it's... been
sorry if you don't like it i don't give a flying
f i've used ai to change the sci -fi show's logo
to theme it on sci -fi films and i'm going to
put six on there guess what they are send them
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it for everybody else and just like we guessed
the intro you can have your name and other links
out and join us in the Winner's Lounge, which
is just Tom and I this week, I'm afraid. Even
our wives didn't get in this week and they gave
us the fucking answers. Thanks, mate. Love you.
Love you. Bye -bye. Bye. Thank you for listening
to the Untitled Sci -Fi Show. This station is
now shutting down and we'll be back in two weeks.
May the Force live long and prosper inside of
you. This was a Studio Channel 84 network show.
To find more, head over to channel84 .co .uk
now. no no no that's fine so um there were a
couple of things and i can only think of one
of them now which is why i was going to say hang
on but the one thing that we need to talk about
is event horizon isn't actually getting a sequel
we all misunderstood that oh hang on is this
a correction it's no oh yeah go on i saw it I'm
going to do corrections here. Karen hasn't sent
me anyone's letters. Everyone basically that
we know that was talking about it going, oh,
it would be really good. It's already happened
and it's graphic novels. Oh. It's someone releasing
a series of graphic novels explaining what happened
before Event Horizon and they're on the third
or fourth and all of these articles that you've
seen headlines for going. prequel going to go
back to all the gore and whatever else is because
it's a graphic novel so they are they are going
full -on blood guts hell and everything well
i'm glad that they are doing it how it should
be done it's a shame it wouldn't be another film
but yeah i mean don't don't hold out hope but
you never you still don't know someone might
might take on a project but from what i've seen
and read yeah it's all of those articles we've
seen if you do the deeper reading it's It's a
graphic novel. Ah, okay. Do -do -do -do -do -do
-do. News just in. Do -do -do -do -do. We talk
bullshit for about fucking 20 minutes. Okay.
Did you have another one? Yeah, but I can't think
of what it is, so. Okay. I'm sure we fucked something
up. No, what? New monkey film or something? No,
talking of Planet of the Apes.