Hello? Yes, it's Valentino. Okay. Uh -huh. Right.
Well, they are friends as far as I know, not
that I give a shit. Okay. Oh, God, not the monkeys
again. Please, God, not the monkeys. I'm sorry.
Who killed the children? Human flesh -eating
vaginas. I thought this was a sci -fi show, not
a horror one. Okay. I understand. Right away.
Jesus. Got a batch of personals. Dispatching
them to your laptops now. And if helium falls,
so does Barsoom. He walked right past us. There
was nobody. If you're reasoned, you hide from
them. Does my line of work make you uncomfortable,
precious? After nine years... You know what I
realize? Ignorance is bliss. Hello there. Valentino
here. Your friendly neighbourhood spider... Oh,
I mean voiceover man. On this week's heavily
redacted show, the boys get a little spicy. Trust
me, they're actually friends and they do like
each other. It's just being wankers is part of
their love language. Also, management have asked
me to remove a rather large chunk of Rob's, um,
wafflings. Imagine Tom talking about monkeys,
remember that? How we all had to sit through
that fucking bullshit for two episodes. Well,
it's Rob's turn this week and it's about a clown
killing children. Let's just say the big wigs
upstairs at Business Incorporated weren't happy.
Well, without further ado, let's get on with
this bollocks. I've pressed record while we're
still... Oh, of course you have. You never know
what comedy gold might happen, like the normal
stuff, while we're still fiddling with ourselves.
You're fiddling with knobs, I'm tugging this
about. Knobble gobble, as we just said. Knobble
knobble. Knobbly gobbly. How you been? Yeah,
not too bad, dude. How are you doing? I'm okay,
yeah, a bit tired. We're starting, it's ten o
'clock, everyone can still hear the rustling,
but I don't really care. Yeah, no, fair enough.
We're really here, we're real people, doing real
things, getting real things ready. I'm just going
to let you all hear the noise. I would absolutely
kill you if you did this on our show. Oh, wait,
you did the other day. Did I? Oh, yeah. There's
bits where you're doing this and then you suddenly
go, oh, sorry. I did do that, yeah. I realised
I wasn't near enough the microphone. I was self
-correcting without asking you to pause beforehand.
You don't want me to tell me off. I do. But then
I noticed you smile when I tell you off. And
it's like, hmm. Is it because I couldn't care
less? Yeah, that's what she says. No one gets
to tell me off. Right, should we start? Might
be an idea. Enter authorization code. Okay, guess
the intro. So, how do you think you did? I got
six out of six. You reckon you got six out of
six? Oh, 100%. Do I need to stop making these
harder? Because you're getting them. And by the
way, James also got them all right again. So
well done, James. You're welcomed back into the
winner's lounge. I'm not on my own anymore. I'm
afraid we are bringing in the BYOB rule. Bring
your own biscuits. Oh, thank God it's not bring
your own booze. No, no, we've got booze. It's
just running out. Running a bit low on biscuits.
Yeah, the old bourbons have run out. All there
is in there is ginger snaps at the moment, and
no one likes that. And a surplus of the festive
digestives, which no one's eating, oddly. Yeah,
funny that. No wonder they shouldn't waste the
name festive digestive. I know. Adam should go
work for the McVitie's advertising corporation,
shouldn't he? Hmm. Okay, should we go for the
first one? Yes, I think you should. Well, I've
pressed it. That was pointless, wasn't it? Did
you set them up? I did set them up. Leon, we
have an assignment. I didn't press it hard enough.
Go on then. Aeon Flux. Aeon Flux. That's correct.
Weird -ass film. Yeah, I've only ever seen it
once. I think I've got it on DVD. I've got it
on DVD because it was just through that period
of time where HMV still existed in town and DVDs
were $4 .99. So it's like, I'd quite like to
see that. It's a fiver. I'm just going to buy
it because everyone was busy buying Blu -rays
instead. The price of DVDs crashed. It was quite
nice in the era, but yeah, I think I've only
seen it once. And I don't even think it was the
DVD I wanted. Two things that aren't existing
anymore. Low price DVDs and HMVs. Yeah, I've
noticed that the price of DVDs have started going
up again. So expensive. It was, what was it?
Three, we went to the one in Watford. Can you
remember what it was, Miranda? It was me and
one of Theo's friends' dads were actually in
there. Yeah, it was like three for 35 or something
on Blu -ray. You used to be three for a tenner.
Yeah, it was like, no way should that be the
case. It took over from the VHS days. So when
DVDs were at their height and they were like
15 to 20 pounds each, videos were like three
for a tenner. Or I think it was even five for
20 at one point. And then Blu -rays came out.
So DVDs filled that slot. And so you've got the
three for 15 offer. But no, that's ridiculous.
No, they were selling some Blu -rays in there
for 20 pounds individually. And you think, no,
not nowadays. You're competing against streaming
now. You've really got to lower your expectations
of who's going to be buying these. You know,
the only way I can play a Blu -ray is by putting
it in my Xbox or PlayStation. Yeah, absolutely.
And when they go discless. Well, I've got no
way of doing it. Although my big concern is,
obviously, we've talked about it many a time,
is the whole digital revolution and the fact
we hate that things can be taken away from us.
So I do buy DVDs still of things I really want
to keep. Yeah, I'd like having them, but it is
a difficult sell to me. 20 quid for one. No,
well, little fun fact for you. I haven't said
fun fact for a while. Here we go. Everyone, Miranda,
are you listening? We are now going to decide
whether this fact is fun. So you can buy in Asda
and not Tesco anymore, weirdly. They've kind
of stopped doing hardware and TVs. But Asda still
has their stores that you can buy TVs and DVD
players. It's not going well so far. £20 buys
a DVD player. Has HDMI on it. Their £20 DVD player
and the same one is Amazon brand. You can buy
from Amazon for the same price. Multi -region
now. Yeah, they started doing that, didn't they?
They did start making a lot of the multi -region.
I think it's brilliant because it does mean you
can jump onto eBay. It's like, I don't care,
that's an American. I'm just going to have it.
It's because TVs don't care about NTSC anymore.
Yeah, that is a fun fact. Well done. So actually,
for 20 quid, a DVD player that can play any DVD
from across the world, I think that's... Brilliant.
When the player is the same price or cheaper
than the DVD. Well, this is it, isn't it? It's
like a printer's cheaper than the printer ink.
Should we do the second one, Augustine Trey?
You've got terrible handwriting. I haven't handwritten
anything since I was at school. That was a bit
loud, sorry. I wouldn't worry. Transcendence.
Transcendence, yes, you've seen that. Morgan
Freeman meeting up with Paul Bettany. It is Paul
Bettany, yes, that's right. Yeah, I've... I think
I've seen about two thirds of it and never bothered
finishing it. It does get a bit odd by the end.
There's some weird drones and things going around.
But yeah, it's a good film. That's the one with
Johnny Depp basically developing a way to carry
his soul on forever. Yeah, somebody uploads his
consciousness into it and then starts what we
all worry about. The best thing for the human
race is to end the human race kind of scenario.
Spoilers. Next one. Maybe more than a dozen inside.
When the door's down, blow the bulbs. Yes, sir.
I know what film this is. Watch. Hang on. Look.
I'm going to demonstrate this film. Not any use
for the people listening. Go on then. I'm going
to move my phone and you'll know what podcast
people will know when I move my phone. Hang on.
Wow. I'm moving my phone around. Just any movement
they do in that film has an overdubbed. So I
pull the gun out. I move my hand left. It's awful.
Was it before Matrix or after? Similar time.
I think it was just after The Matrix. Yeah, I
enjoyed it. It's a good film. You can say what
it is. Equilibrium. Yep. But the gun kung fu
is just so fucking dumb. It's with... Christian
Bale. Christian Bale, that's right. And Seen
Bean. Sean... I've gotten into a dark room, but
I'm just going to... Everyone's dead. That's
right, that basically is pretty much... It's
such a terrible bit. The rest of the film, really
good. That thing, though, is just so stupid.
Next one. I just made a joke. And, uh, you know...
Stop talking. Elevation and heart rate detected.
Would you like a pill? No. Weirdly, this took
me a little while to work out. It's a fun scene.
It shouldn't have, because it's really good.
And this is probably, out of all the films that
you did today, is the one I've seen the most.
It's Elysium. When he's basically trying to explain
why he's late. Yeah, it's right at the start.
You've just got a... Yeah, you have blood pressure.
Would you like a pill? You know, it's very Alien.
It's such a good film. It makes you think if
the... What's the new Alien series that we've
all been watching? Alien Earth. If Alien Earth
took that bit from this, you know, where he's
talking to the robot. It's very, very similar.
I think Elysium is such a good film. It's a brilliant
film, yeah. I don't know, actually. Matt Damon.
Yeah, Matt Damon. You've got to when you hear
his name, sorry. I don't know what the public
made of it, to be honest. I don't know if it
was a high -rated or low -rated. I mean, I could
look it up on IMDb. I don't know. But I really
enjoyed it. I liked it. I really enjoyed it.
I loved the effects in it. I loved the kind of
mech weird suit things, especially on Krieger.
Or Kruger, sorry. Well -remembered on the names,
by me. That's because it's a good film. Time
travel has not yet been invented, but 30 years
from now, it will have been. This is a really
good film. So this is Looper with Sean Gordon
something Leverett, isn't it? Is it James Gordon
Leverett? Something like that. But the only thing
I remember him from initially was Third Rock
from the Sun. Yeah. Joseph Gordon -Levitt. Joseph
Gordon -Levitt, that's the one. And who plays
him as an older person? That's a massive spoiler.
Oh, I don't know. Bruce Willis? Is it? Oh, shit,
yes. Yeah, Bruce Willis is, yeah. Yeah, because
don't forget, he's also, is he Cobra Commander
in the... What? G .I. Joe films? I haven't seen
the G .I. Joe films. Oh, haven't you? None of
them, yeah. Oh, he's the Cobra Commander or whoever
it is, isn't it? Oh, Bruce Willis is? No, Joseph
Gordon -Levitt. Although Bruce Willis is in...
the second gi joe he plays gi joe oh i've heard
they are brilliant but i've never good fun they're
stupid fun they are not brilliant mind -melting
good films uh they're not going to pass up with
let's say schindler's shopping list or shawshank
redemption but they're good fun i loved them
because they're just they are you can just sit
back and watch it it's like This is exactly how
I imagined it would be if I was playing with
these as a kid. What's the extra word you'd add
to Shawshank Redemption to make it a different
film? Um... There's a brain tingler for you.
We'll think about it while we continue and he
can just randomly splurt out what the Shawshank
Redemption word would be. Shawlamshank. Oh, God,
no. Oh, God, what would it be? It would have
to be, um... Shawshank's Final Redemption. His
final redemption. A redemption arc. Shawshank
redemption arc. It would be like an anime then.
The whole thing would be anime. Anime, absolutely.
Go on, last one. You guys haven't seen my wife.
Let me show you my wife. My wife. My special
angel. She's my special angel. Special angel.
Welcome to District 9. District 9, yeah. Great
film again. Yeah. Brilliant. Mr. Blue Camp. Absolutely
love District 9. Yeah, I really, really wish
that they do a sequel to it. But at the same
time, I just think you could. I think they could
come up with an adequate story to carry it on.
It would need that spaceship to come back and
just destroy the world because of how poorly
they were treated. Maybe that's what they should
do then. Maybe. Well, well done. You got all
of them right. You and James, welcome back with
open arms. The bouncer will let you in. Welcome
back. I hadn't left. I was sleeping in there.
Oh yeah, I suppose you never left. I don't leave.
I just sleep in my booth and they keep bringing
me stuff. I get booth treatment. You're in the
VIP. Yeah. I keep ordering Cristal. So the one
that everyone would have heard at the beginning
of this. It's a normal one for everyone else,
but not a normal one for you. Oh, no. Super special
secret episode of guest intro for you this week
that everyone just heard and the next episode.
Oh, dear. And it is guest the intro wife edition.
Ooh. There, out of the six that you just heard,
three of them were chosen by your wife. Oh, no.
And three were chosen by my wife. And it is your
job to guess whose wife chose what films. Are
they sci -fi style? They are all sci -fi. Right.
So this episode and the next one, because they
chose six each, and I've cherry -picked three
from each, you will have to choose not only what
they are, but your special assignment is to then
guess which wife. Oh, my specialist. And I will
let the wives decide on your forfeit if you even
get any of them. Oh, wait, I've got a fucking
forfeit. Fuck you. Any forfeit I suffer, you
have to suffer with me. Don't do that to me.
Oh, I will. Go on then. What have you been doing?
Let's see. I went to the cinema. Mm -hmm. You
want me to actually tell you what I did? Yeah,
some more information would be good. I mean,
I know that last week you did ramble on 20 minutes.
Right, I saw Predator Badlands. There you go,
your turn. Are you joking? No, I'm going to do
a pull. No, right, okay, so I saw Predator Badlands.
Yeah. We weren't sure on the initial images,
were we? We were a bit like, oh, no, we were
like, what have they done to Deck? Deck looks
like he's the, yeah, we probably shouldn't even
say that, so I'm not going to. To Deck. Yeah,
Deck's the name of the Predator. D -E -K, though.
Don't worry. That's what he's called? He's got
a name? Yeah. All Predators have names, apparently.
Do they? Yeah, apparently so. Aren't you just
called Predator? Yeah. Bob, Dave, Gary. Ian.
Barry. Where is it? Ian was in the first one.
Colin in the second. Colin was in the second
one. Colin got taken out by Danny Gover. Crap
predator, that one, mate. You remember Ian? Yeah,
I remember Ian. He got destroyed by that Austrian
dude in the jungle. Don't you make that mistake.
Right. First of all, I'm going to kind of...
encompass this with, I actually really enjoyed
it. I had fun watching it. I didn't get kind
of a numb bum from it. Very impressively done
on the most part. I'm waiting for the big but.
Well, no, there is. And I can't deny. I was just
thinking the same thing. Oh, yeah. Those other
predators, they can't deny. No, I did enjoy it.
It's just, for me... And I'm sorry to James who
really enjoyed it. It just wasn't enough Predator
for me. Not enough Predator. Not enough Predator.
It was Disneyfication at the max level. Is it
a Hulu thing? Is it going to be on Hulu or is
it directly on Disney? Well, I don't know. I
don't know. The problem with it is it's a 12.
Oh, no. So just like they did with Robocop. The
new Robocop was actually quite an enjoyable film.
As soon as you tag it with Robocop, it breaks
it. And the issue being, I could have taken Kay
and let her watch Predator, Badlands. Now, she's
probably not going to enjoy it, but she could
have. No cap. Yeah, no cap. There was, I think,
one swear word I picked up on, which was shit.
The entire planet that he's on. is him, aliens,
and an entire army of Weyland -Yutani synthetics.
It says aliens are in it too. No, no, no, no.
These are just alien races, not xenomorphs from
the alien franchise. Sentient aliens or just
weird monsters? We'll get to that in a moment.
So, first of all, they've done what I kind of
described as Carmageddon in the 90s. Now, do
you remember when Carmageddon came out? Not particularly.
I do. Brilliant game. Came out. Scored highly
everywhere. Red Blood. Yep. Lots and lots of
news articles about it complaining. All of a
sudden, you could not buy the game anymore with
Red Blood. That's what they did to Mortal Kombat.
The UK got Green Blood. And then shortly after,
they released patch 1 .1, which brought back
the Red Blood if you wanted it. It feels really
like they just did this film where, right, we're
going to kill loads of people. How can we make
this? lower on the age range but still kill people
or just make them full of white blood and call
them synthetics yeah great idea job done oh annoying
so that's kind of it but then there's just all
just little bits that just didn't work i like
the idea that they're the runs of the litter
basically i like that as an idea brilliant gotta
prove himself great chooses to go up against
the biggest baddest alien that they can find
in their alien database he's got a little kind
of database it goes Scary, not scary, scary,
not scary. I'm going to hunt that. Whatever.
Fine. Even though that's a bit silly. Gotcha.
That's what we're going for. Lands on this planet.
And Weyland -Yutani is already there. He fucks
up almost straight away and nearly dies. But
don't worry. Elf Fanning's android basically
saves him within the first five minutes of being
on the planet. And if you just... I haven't read
any of the comics. I haven't read any of the
books. So all the lore that has been created
is wasted on me. Because as far as I'm concerned,
Predator 1 and 2 are the only Predator films,
and that is the lore I know. And if I base it
on that knowledge, Deck should have just gone,
fuck off, android weird woman -looking creature
thing that's been ripped in half. If I'm going
to die, I'm just going to die screaming and fighting
my way to death. And blow myself up. Instead,
he lets the android help him. Right, so she's
an android. She's a synthetic who's been cut
in half and basically crucified by another creature
on the planet. He lets her have his rotating
flying disc and she comes down. But she's floating
around. No, she's basically on this wood pile
and he throws his only weapon with him to her.
She manages to get loose and kill this dragon
thing that's about to kill him. Where are her
legs? We'll get to that in a moment. So he's
gone to the planet to fight. fight something
called the Calisk, which is this big monster.
And when she went to find the Calisk, she got
ripped in half. And, oh, she's also been paired
up with another synthetic. And they're basically,
oh, we've got emotions. We've been given sensitivity
to help us with this mission. Why would they
need that? So it helps them get on the side of
the other aliens they might come in contact with.
right it's like no sorry that's that doesn't
sound like a whaling newton no it's a load of
politics and basically the entire film is her
crooning after where her sister is and she can't
wait to see her sister and she's been so excited
by all of this blah blah blah very saccharine
They finally find her legs. Then she finally
admits to Deck that actually she's kind of double
-crossed him and she's called the Weyland -Yutani
people to come and rescue her and come and fix
her. And also the Kallister. Anyway, so it all
goes down that route. The bit you were saying
about the creatures. Yeah, there is another creature
that she calls Bud that comes and helps them,
which is this weird blue monkey -looking fucking
thing that looks awful like CGI. No, no, no,
no, no. It looks like this kind of... oh it's
really hard to fucking explain what it looks
like without showing you a picture but basically
it's comedic it's there and it smiles and it
laughs and it's kind of it copies um well they've
got to sell the toys to the 12 year olds well
this is the thing it's it just it's really really
bad it's just like why have you done this you
don't want there you go that's what bud is that's
a weird looking thing Yeah. Oh, it's quite cute,
isn't it? It's like its whole face opens up.
Well, that's it. And yeah, basically the predator
learns to love it and to care for it. And that
actually it needs to create its own pack rather
than deal with the fact that it's been kicked
out of its own one and his brother was killed
by his father. So yeah, so much goes on. I thought
the whole point of those things, sorry to interrupt,
the predators were going and it was like a trial
for them to become predators. They had to go
kill these things. I mean, I can ruin the story
for everyone, including yourself. It's up to
you. Don't completely ruin it. I might actually
watch it. Yeah, well, basically, the very beginning
of the film is him trying to fight his brother,
and his brother's like, you're ready for your
hunt. His dad turns up, and his dad's like, why
haven't you killed him? He's a runt. And the
brother's just fighting, going, you've got to
give him this chance. You've got to give him
this chance. And the dad just kills the brother,
which makes Deck really angry. But the brother's...
pre -programmed his spaceship to fire him off
to go and get the calisk. Oh, yeah. Just dreadful.
So the dad is a proper predator then? Yeah, the
dad's a dick. It's perfect. He is exactly what
a predator should be. But even the end is set
up as a comedy. You're joking. No, basically
things happen and then you've got Elle Fanning
stood next to Deck and there's this giant spaceship
coming and she's like, oh, is this more friends?
And Deck turns around and goes, no. Not friends.
Do you speak English? No, they've just subtitled.
It's my mother. Oh, fuck's sake. And that's how
they end. So, as I said, it's an enjoyable film.
Just, they could have just ignored the Predator
design. Get rid of the Predator design, come
up with your own design, and make it its own
standalone film. Because right now, I could take
K to see it. and say, oh, do you want to watch
Predator 1 and 2? And, oh, the trauma. And they'll
be a little bit different. Isn't Prey meant to
be very good, though? That's an 18, right? So
this, I don't know if Prey's an 18. It says 16
plus on Disney. Oh, okay. Because that's supposed
to be very good. Yeah, it's, and the... And like
the original ones, just a... Oh, Jesus. Sorry.
Just like Jesus. Yeah, well. And like one predator
hunting people. But back in the caveman. Basically,
yeah. So that's what prey seems to be. I'm just
trying to find it now. That's not it, surely.
No, that's not it. Yeah, it's just... I don't
know. In my mind, it would have been far better.
It was a 15 prey. Okay. It would have been far
better as just its own independent sci -fi film,
and I would have accepted it far more. Now, I
enjoyed it. As I said, I keep saying I enjoyed
it. I really did enjoy it. I just can't fully
accept it. Just like I can't fully accept the
new Robocop is Robocop. Just like I can't really
accept Terminator 3 as a Terminator film. They
are all good science fiction films that... are
ruined because they've attached themselves to
a franchise this is exactly what we've said previously
isn't it i can't remember exactly what it was
we said about before a few episodes ago we said
something similar that this would have been a
great film had it been i did not just take in
the name exactly yeah yeah yeah we have done
and it and i don't really stand by it it's a
good film it should have been given its own legs
to stand on instead though attaching it to the
predator franchise and i don't know As I said,
Prey is meant to be very good. Pardon me, they've
done this animated series or film, whatever it's
called, which again is meant to be really good.
And Dan Trexenberg is in discussions about making
the next film to Prey, which will be something
like Prey 2, but this time it's going to be World
War 2 based. Awesome idea. Absolutely brilliant.
That's very cool. And I mean, there's a few Easter
eggs in this that were cool. So you go into Deck
Ship and it's one of the Harvester aliens from
Independence Day's skull on the wall. Yeah. It's
quite clearly that's what it's meant to be. Whether
or not they admit to it is another matter. But
it's still quite cool that it's there. Wasn't
that how they introduced Predator and Alien together?
Because they put an alien skull in the Predator
ship and that was just their way of going from
Predator 2. no i'm i couldn't tell you but the
thing is as going back to why it just if you're
going to follow a franchise you need to follow
it properly this is what i didn't like and it's
just like okay i can get on board with the runt
predator proving themselves i'm fine with that
what i'm not fine with is that whether you liked
alien romulus or not I really enjoyed it. I thought
it was a really good film. I loved it. The bloke
that played Andy, oh my God, played a synthetic
beyond perfectly. You look at the people that
played Bishop and the one that I can never remember
his name of in the original Alien. Ian Holmes.
Ian Holmes and whatever his character was called.
They're perfect. They are truly menacing, wonderfully
portrayed synthetics. And then the very first
time we come across this synthetic play by Elle
Fanning, and she is a cracking actress. She's
really good. She's bubbly, high -spirited, verbal
diarrhea going on. It's like, this is not what
a synthetic would be like. And then you get Elle
Fanning playing the other synthetic, her sister,
as they call it by the end of it, who's then
playing this more darker synthetic. And she still
doesn't come across as a synthetic. She comes
across as a human actress who's just playing
a darker role. And it's not Elle Fanning's fault.
The characters and how they've been written and
they've been scripted do not work as synthetics.
Yeah, that's a shame. It is a shame because the
film does deserve to do really well. But for
me, it just didn't work as a Predator franchise.
Ignoring that and making it a sci -fi film, it
would have done a lot better in my books. But
that is personal opinion. And that's about it.
I watched Predator 2 pretty much the day after
because I wanted to see... To get over it, yeah.
Well, no, not get over it, but it's Predator
1 I've seen loads. Predator 2 is probably the
least one I've seen. And I thought, you know
what? I didn't... I've always watched it and
I've never minded it, but I don't know why Predator
1 gets way more watches to it. I'm just watching
Predator 2 and actually I really enjoy it. I
think I've only seen Predator 2 once. Yeah, it
isn't as good as the first, granted, but it's
a very different film. I don't particularly rate
very highly any of the AVP films. Oh, they're
all terrible. I will not watch them. And again...
It just immediately breaks the law that you expect
to exist from Predator 1 and Predator 2. A predator
will not make friends with you to help you. A
predator would rather die and claim the kill
of you than do it. Yeah. And I get the idea from
AVP that that happens quite a bit. Predators
with Adrian Brody. which was kind of their one
where these people get yeah that was an odd one
yeah they've been captured and taken to the predator
planet and hunted instead they rescue a predator
who then helps them no that predator will go
yeah thank you very much you've all got weapons
brilliant kill kill kill kill kill right now
i'm armed to fuck yeah that's it actually your
memory for some i forgot that film existed predators
yeah it's and then you've got the predator which
came out fairly recently which was their modern
predator film and i i don't know if i've seen
it's awful absolutely awful they introduce that
one of them gets given i don't even have a predator
gives them it this box that they touch and suddenly
it builds an entire predator suit on the person
that touches it and then they become this kind
of predator suited and person in oh it's terrible
i wish yeah definitely anything else no honestly
that that's been it nothing else except for event
horizon well i'm glad you're like i'm glad you
liked it but i did enjoy it it's just as i said
it it shouldn't have been a franchise it should
have just been its own thing and they could have
probably put a bit more money into the design
but it would have worked better yeah What have
you been up to? I've actually prepared. I've
got a list. I know. It's un -fucking -believable.
He's got the Preparation H on and he's ready
to go. I have Preparation H'd myself. So, in
preparation for the new Stranger Things coming
out, we've just literally, before you pulled
up, we just finished Season 1 again. I forget
how much I love that show. When you haven't seen,
say to Marianne, when you haven't seen something
in a long time, do you sometimes forget how much
you like something? We've binged season one.
So I've seen season one. I wasn't enamored with
it. I don't know why. It just didn't touch me
in the way that maybe David Harbour could have.
I don't know. But then we got to the second one.
it just felt so slow okay so painful and i we
gave up halfway through there is one episode
in season two which is awful fucking dreadful
and it got panned at the time and if you look
at imdb it's the only one that doesn't get eight
or above in a score it gets six it's one where
11 goes to new york or something and meets like
a load of that's it yeah that's the season i'm
on so you've got A couple of them bugger off
to go and talk to the conspiracy nutcase radio
jockey person. Who becomes a really good character
in later seasons. And Levin has just decided,
oh, my mother's still alive, so I'm going to
go off to New York to find her there. And yeah,
I was just so bored. It was just so boring. I
think season one, let's say, let's just going
on a chart, let's use Kay's terminology, peak.
Season one, absolutely brilliant. season two
because of that one episode i can't remember
which episode it is now it has to go down that
episode you can actually skip it you don't lose
any genuinely you do not lose anything by missing
the episode in fact you'll probably have a better
time it's like i i've watched all of naruto um
unleashed and shippuden and we used a guide to
know what episodes to skip because because it
follows the it follows the manga but um it was
releasing weekly and the manga wasn't released
that often so when there was no manga released
the writers of the show had to fill so they would
do their own story arcs and they're pretty shit
a lot of them so people found out which episodes
are filler and which episodes are canon and they
literally listed it down so you can go through
and just skip quite a few episodes because they
have no relevance to the canon and you can tell
because the canon stuff is far superior to the
filler. Copilot says Episode 7, The Lost Sister.
That's the one. In Season 2 of Stranger Things,
you can skip Episode 7, The Lost Sister. This
episode is often considered disruptive. It focuses
on Eleven's journey and character development,
which some viewers find unnecessary. It is unnecessary.
It's pointless. It's terrible. It adds nothing
other than an annoyance to the season. As I was
saying, number one, peak. Drops. Has to drop
because of that. Three. keeps about the level
four steps right up again okay what a great season
four is particularly there's a character who
like plays loads of metal music four's the master
of puppets season what a great season four is
and now we're just waiting for five so i'm really
hoping five's gonna live up to what four left
ask what the last episode of season four absolutely
brilliant loved it if you like stranger things
season four is great well maybe i'll go back
and give it another try but i found we found
season two a slog as me and jim were watching
it together yeah and we we found season two a
slog and she was willing to carry on as i really
don't care if you carry on without me on this
which isn't normal normally after such a strong
season one it just yeah I don't know. Maybe,
yeah, we'll give it another try. I think if you
can, I mean, you should never really say, oh,
if you can get through a whole season, it gets
good. But that is kind of the case. I might just
skip season two. You should watch the last episode.
Okay. You should watch the last episode of all
of them if you're going to be skipping seasons
because you do need to understand what's going
to happen. ChatGPC, fill me in on what happens
between season two, episode one, and episode
X. Give me a synopsis of season two minus episode
seven. Next thing we've been watching, we're
two episodes in. Welcome to Derry. Right then.
Welcome to Spoiler Town Population. You. If you
don't want any spoilers, even the heavily redacted
ones ahead, please skip to 44 minutes and 46
seconds. Thank you. which is the It prequel.
I hadn't heard about this. And then you started
talking about it. Then Karen started talking
about it. I've seen some clips of it now. Don't
watch clips. No, don't watch clips. It will ruin
it. I'm never going to watch it because I don't
like It. I think it was a crap, awful film. Watch
nothing of it because the shock factor of the
gruesome children death scenes is horrific. I've
never been so... appalled and enamored and just
like what the fuck is going we were literally
miranda and i had no idea it was going to be
the way it was because you get the you get the
shock factors in films films are the ones like
in the first hit where you see the kid get his
arms bitten off yeah you know you're kind of
expecting a film you're not expecting it in a
series like i'm gonna say now spoilers for everybody
i might have to put valentino in here to tell
you where to skip to because if you're not going
to watch it i'll tell you yeah no yeah go for
it okay so everyone else get ready if you don't
want to be spoiled because this will spoil because
i'm just going to say the gory bits i'm not going
to tell a plot but i think that if you are willing
to watch the show don't you don't want to know
these because you want the shock factor because
i'm i'm one of the few people that preferred
the tim curry yet Okay. I haven't seen them since
I was a kid. I don't remember them very well.
The two modern ones were all that, if I'm honest.
That is the one where they're in the Chinese
restaurant and it turns into a monster, like
insects and scorpions and stuff. I believe so,
yeah. And then you've got Tim Curry's... That's
the only bit I remember as a kid. It terrified
me. I watched it in my parents' room. It was
where I watched Jaws. Same time I watched Jaws.
Nice. And they had this blue carpet and I was
so scared. I thought the carpet was... the sea
and i had to jump off their bed into the hallway
oh dear that's how scared i was the jaws anyway
that's probably where my fear of sharks comes
from and breasts and breasts yeah my fear of
my fear of breasts again it's another one of
those films that we've all watched when it was
on the uh oh what when the pre -watershed version
and then you watch jaws for the first time yeah
and then when you watch the actual by this young
lad. Now, these are kids who are age ranging
from one kid is five. It got to be about, no,
no, no, no, no, no. It's too young, actually.
Maybe seven. Oh, thank God. I thought you were
rating them. One kid was a five. No, no. And
the other kids, the other kids are like 12. Anywhere
between 12 and maybe 14. That's the kind of age
of kids we're looking at. They all look super
young. I think 14 might actually be a bit old.
Anyway, so this little, this lad. I can't remember
exactly why, but he's on his own. He's leaving.
He hitchhikes, get in this car. Seems like a
normal family. Mum, dad, the woman's pregnant
and two kids in the back. The son's doing like
a spelling bee with the parents and then the
girl starts getting annoyed and the mum and dad
are talking and stuff. And it all starts to get
a bit fucked up. And then the kids start spelling
out fucked up words. And the girl in the middle,
suddenly the thing she was eating looked like.
kind of starts to look like beetroots but then
it's actually blood and looks like body parts
she's eating and then the woman in the front
seat who's pregnant starts giving birth horrifically
giving birth and it's a close -up shot between
her legs and you see something pushing out of
her vagina through her pants blood starts flowing
and then this creature rips itself out of her
vagina Okay, I'm just going to skip some of this.
And people won't watch us do soggy biscuits.
Yeah. And this is the first five minutes. This
happens immediately. Immediately this happens.
What the fucking hell are we watching? This doesn't
make any sense. What I'm thinking is going to
be happening is there's two of these per episode.
Just basing on the knowledge that I've seen two
episodes and there's two traumatic events happening
in each episode. Kills them. Kills the children.
It picks one of the boys up. rips them in half
in the air in front of you. You see him get ripped
from head straight down in half. You see, I'm
starting to have a problem with this already
because to me, this is up there with things.
The way you're describing it, it's ending up
like hostile, which is just, it's being done
to see. How horrific it can make it before people
start walking out and going, yeah, no, I can't
watch that. I think Hostel really is gratuitous
violence. I don't think there's any redeeming
features to Saw 2. That's a lie. To anything
past Saw 1. Saw 1 is very good. Oh, I think Saw
2 is good as well. I don't really remember Saw
2, but I generally think Saw 1 is actually a
good film. Oh, I do. I think it's a brilliant
film. Hostel, there's no redeeming features to
Hostel. That is literally just... Here's killing
people. Whereas this is... Because, you know,
it's a horror. And it's a monster doing it. And
it just shows you. I mean, if I was going to
imagine, which obviously I wouldn't, a child
getting ripped in half, that's kind of pretty
much what I think it would look like. I don't
think that they're just shoving it in your face.
But that's my problem. I don't need to see that.
How much do you see of it? You see the entire
thing. Exactly. And for me, I'm not a prude.
I don't have a problem with gore. I just don't
think it's necessary to show that. Now, a really
good point is we watched Smile 2 last week, me
and Gemma, I forgot to say that. And in Smile
2, there are some genuinely grotesque things
that happen. You see them for no more than two
seconds at a time. It cuts away, yeah. But there's
enough for you to go, oh my God, that was gross.
And it lasts with you, but not enough for you
to go, I'm going to have to start looking away
from this. I found it difficult because the children,
And I wonder if I wouldn't feel that way if I
didn't have a child myself. And there's a particular
bit in that Cinnabar bit, there's a very small
kid who is like a little bit older than what
my T would be. And she's hiding underneath the
seats. And there's an older girl holding her
hands. It's like, it's okay, it's okay. And like
her, is it her brother? Well, yeah, her, one
of the boys has been killed and then her brother
gets killed. And she is like, obviously fucked
up. And then the next thing you see is the older
girl running out with the projector's girl. And
it ends by the camera going down and the older
girl is holding the little girl's arm. Oh, fuck.
Because the little girl's gone. And that's how
the episode ends. And then episode two starts
back at that scene. And you then see what happens
to that little girl's brother. He gets thrown
up into the sky and splats against where the
projector screen is. And you see him. It's almost
quite comical. slides down. You still again don't
see what happens to the little girl. Thank fucking
God. And then after that... Oh God, shut the
fuck up. With all these teeth. like gnawing at
her and then suddenly you see an umbilical cord
and it's attached to the girl and it's dragging
her into this toothed vagina i wish everyone
could see tj i've spent 15 minutes talking about
these two episodes my genuine point is i just
don't feel that there's any and i know we're
about to talk about event horizon um right Cut
point now. Clap. Make noises on the thing. Spoilers
over. Right. Okay. Spoilers over. Thank you,
Valentina. Yeah, I just feel that there's no
need to go that horrific and graphic in anything.
I mean, maybe that works for some people. For
me, like you said, smile is perfect. That sort
of horror where you've got this psychological
kind of basis going on. Yeah, yeah. And for me,
sometimes it's the unseen that plays far more
into how a film and how a horror should be. And
we talked about it in Nope. The soundscape in
Nope when the alien is above the house screaming
and it's raining blood is genuinely terrifying.
Yeah, I just... I'm going to keep watching it,
but I've got to say it is pretty... Pretty gruesome.
Let's move on because it's been ages. Yeah, I
was just going to say, not because it reminded
me of it, I was just thinking, what other horror
films have I seen that I've kind of loved? Other
than the Smile series, the other one I saw fairly
recently, and it turns out it's six years ago,
so it's not fairly recent, was Scary Stories
to Tell in the Dark. Okay. And that had some,
again, it was a... horror style film but they
didn't go over the top with it and actually the
bits they did in it played out really nicely
yeah and that's well worth watching but um I
mean I'll give it a try but honestly it just
sounds too much for me anyway yeah um Frankenstein's
just been released Guillermo del Toro looks amazing
desperate to watch it Miranda wants to watch
Stranger Things first we're going to have to
go all the way all the strange things before
we can watch that I'm so desperate to watch it
it looks brilliant It's on Netflix if anyone's
interested. The Witcher, season four. I think
I've spoken about The Witcher before. I'm super
into the books. I've read all the books. I'm
into the games. You've sent me some choice words
about this season so far. Yeah, I've played The
Witcher 2 to death, played The Witcher 3 to death,
other than Blood and Wine expansion and never
did it. I'm probably going to play it now that
I've got a computer that can run The Witcher.
So I've got to say, I'm going to, I, it's difficult
to say. I didn't hate it. So we actually ended
up binging it. Now, is it as good as season one,
two and three? No. Season one is the best one
and it never recovers. Put that out there straight
away. Okay. And there was nothing, even Henry
Cavill, who was by all accounts, the only person
trying to keep it on the source material. could
do. And that's one of the reasons why he left.
But it's come out that the CEO of Netflix has
made an apology to Henry Cavill publicly. They
lost $20 million just after the trailer release
of season four. They lost $20 million. I don't
know how that's possible. Maybe people pulled
out or they're expecting advertising bills and
stuff. CEO has come out asking the writers of
the show to also publicly apologise to Cavill
because they were apparently scathing of him.
So this is the problem. You upset the people
that like Cavill. Whether or not you think he's
good or not, the bloke has clout. The fact the
bloke during COVID... set up and did live streaming
of him painting warhammer figures which then
in turn boosted warhammer i mean games workshop
whatever they're called nowadays that the amount
of money they bought in the fact that he then
just helped join me while i build a gaming pc
that made people go oh my god he is a normal
bloke as well and then then these companies started
taking them away from the franchises they like
what were they thinking it's so He was fantastic
as Geralt. Really good. He was clearly portraying
the games version, but inside, obviously, the
stories of mainly the book. I mean, the games
do follow the book. Anyway, it's complicated.
And Liam Hemsworth, he is a good Geralt. He absolutely
is, and I'm giving all props to that. But to
be following from... Henry Cavill, it's not the
same. Had it been Liam all the way through, it
wouldn't have been a problem. And he is good
in his own right, and he's doing the management
right, and great. But unfortunately for him,
he's been shoved into this, I say it all the
time, people are going, I'm going to get a council
one day, this complete... Disneyfication, Netflixfication,
agenda -filled bullshit story. They had the perfect
story to do. And, like, they even, like, the
writer, idiocy of him, he didn't, he gave all
the rights away to them without any ability to
have any control over himself. He's a fucking
idiot. He's done it twice. He did the same thing
to the guys who did the games. to cd product
red i mean they did a good job with it but he
didn't even take a revenue spit or anything he's
a fucking idiot he just took a bit of money and
he was like there you go he doesn't realize what
he's got you know and he did the same thing is
it he doesn't know what he's got or is it that
he wanted to make sure that if he wasn't greedy
the game would stand a better chance and the
tv series would have a chance of going out there
he just it he said he used to give them like
they apparently in season one they used to ask
him he said this new view they used to ask him
for advice and the niv used to follow it anyway
to the point that then they stopped he stopped
they stopped asking and he stopped giving and
he's like i'm just letting them get on with it
just whatever he's kind of washed his hands with
it uh if you even remotely like anything to do
with the witcher play the games read the books
if you give a shit about the story that aside
i think it's a little bit unfair that the reviews
are all like four on imdb he's not that bad it's
been review bombed which is never a good thing
it isn't that bad they are making it the series
story but i in my opinion one of the arcs of
the witcher series is like two or three of the
books are quite heavily focused on her as like
the savior of the kind of universe and it's like
And she's a wicked character to play in the game.
I like playing her better than I like playing
Geralt. I'm actually really excited that the
next Witcher game you play is her and not Geralt.
Not because I like Geralt, but she's a fucking
wicked character. Imagine playing, if anyone
has played The Witcher, you are The Witcher.
You amazing swords person. You get to kill monsters.
You have these powers. But she's the same as
that. But also, she's got like these weird lightning
powers and she can move really quick and do all
these other cool stuff. And it's just fucking
cool. Anyway, she's a very cool character. but
i just think they've just done a the writing
of that isn't isn't very good the fighting really
fucking cool you can tell liam hemsworth is really
good at it he was in it way more than the intro
implied he was going to be because they as i
said to you they refilmed a lot of the henry
cavill stuff and just put him there yeah they
did like they did a a you know, previously on
the last three seasons and every short Henry
Cavill's from his back. You never see his face.
And I was like, come on guys, fucking hell. Just,
just pretend that you haven't changed the actor.
Just pretend. Just, it's not, I doubt Henry Cavill
said you can't use my likeness. I cannot, I just
cannot fathom unless there's something that's
not come out that Henry Cavill was just an absolute
monster on set, touched all the women and all
of that. Then, I just cannot fathom why you would
recast. Even if it was, okay, well, he's filming
something at the moment. Okay, we'll delay our
filming. Our fans love him. They didn't recast.
He left because they treated him like shit. So
he pulled out. I thought they recast him, which
is why he walked away. He couldn't agree with
them because he was trying to keep them to the
source material and they were basically saying,
fuck off. So they treated, that's why the CEO
has come out and said, you need to apologize
to him because he was trying to keep you guys
in check. He was trying to keep it. And he fucked
off. And that would explain the money for them
because people have gone, well, this isn't the
Witcher anymore. Yeah. And that's how I said
to Miranda that this is how I'm treating it.
We were on like episode four at the time. I said,
I'm just treating this now as it's just a fantasy
show. I like fantasy. I'm just going to pretend
it's not the Witcher. They can say The Witcher
as much as they fucking like. In my head canon,
this show is not The Witcher. And as soon as
I made that change in my head, I actually enjoyed
it. Yeah. They've killed a character who is an
extremely important character in the storyline
they're doing. I have no fucking clue how they're
actually going to... Resolve it. There's a bit
called The Wild Hunts that happens where this
spiritual kind of... I can't remember exactly
what they do, but Geralt joins them for a little
while. And there's a bit where I don't want to
say the character's name because I don't want
to spoil it for people who don't want to watch
it. There's another character that's quite heavily
involved in that. He's now fucking dead. So I
don't know how they're going to do that. I think
they're probably just not going to do it. I think
they're going to do one more season and then
that'll be it. Yeah, from the start. There's
these characters called the Rats who Ciri goes
with. I hated them in the books. and i hated
them in this too and i was so glad all the shit
that happened to them there's a real you know
who's in it the guy from district nine oh okay
yeah he's in it he plays a bad guy he is the
best fucking character in the entire season and
it's such a shame that they they didn't use him
before with with henry cavill they're using him
now and he is the savior of all the scenes that
have the rats in and He's such a good bad guy.
He's really good at fighting. He's brilliant.
That's enough of The Witcher. Sorry, I've gone
on for 25 minutes. I've still got more to talk
about. 25 minutes, no. It's my show. It's his
show. It's his show. Look, you can be horrible
and treat me like shit on your show. I get to
say what I like over here. Noted. Played a lot
of Wii games with T. Well, yes, I saw him playing
Mario Kart the other day. Yeah, we did Mario
Kart Wii. We've also played a little bit of Disney
Infinity 3 .0. Never played any of those. They're
all right. The figures are cool looking. There's
so much of it that's not compatible. It's such
bullshit of the time. There's no wonder it all
failed. You can put the 2 .0 figures onto the
3 .0 game, but you also get these little figures
which make the toy box change. You can't put
2 .0 toy boxes into 3 .0. They're just like,
no. But it's not like there's clearly no reason
other than they just didn't want you to do it.
And the same like with the Skylanders one, that's
clearly why they failed because they were clearly
just out for money. I mean, I just brought him
the figure. He doesn't know the Jack Skeleton
figure for it because my two pound on eBay. So
next time he plays it, I'm going to go, you can
be Jack Skeleton and he'll be able to run around
as Jack Skeleton. That's very cool. There's nothing
to do. Because the Jack Skellington's a 2 .0
figure. So he can't actually do anything other
than make his character Jack Skellington. He
can't go to the Jack Skellington toy box, which
is a shame. I've played a lot of Steam Deck.
I've been playing random games, trying out different
things. Played a little bit of Outer Worlds 2.
It's all right. Played about five minutes. Don't
know what else to say. Played another game of
Battlefield. I did quite good on it. And then
I haven't played it again. Just doing so many
other little things. Haven't done it. Got rid
of Sky. Don't have Sky anymore. We're doing Now
TV. So much cheaper. No more free cinema tickets.
No, I'm afraid not. Don't have it anymore. It's
fine. Can I just say, GTA 6 delayed again. Delayed
again. Yeah, I mean, I'm not bothered. I mean,
was you bothered? I didn't even realise it was
coming out when it was. I'm genuinely not going
to buy it. I'll download it when it goes onto
the Xbox Game Pass or the PlayStation Game Pass.
I am not going to buy GTA 6. probably will get
it eventually. I don't know. I'm playing GTA
2 at the moment and having a fuckload of fun.
If it's going to be £100, I'm not going to fucking
buy it. Why would I do that? All the other fucking
games I can buy. There's so many cool little
games out there on Steam that are worth like
£3. Peak is £3 at the moment. That game looks
fun. We've got to play Peak. £3. Oh, right. I'll
buy it. Accessing library computer data. So we
do actually like each other, everybody. We just
tease each other. Oh, absolutely. He teases me
with his tip and I tease him with mine. Right,
Event Horizon. Event Horizon 1997. Oh, so good.
Another good film. Yeah, great film. End of episode.
Yeah, well done. It's been long enough. It's
so nice when we watch good stuff and it's been
such a long time. I don't know now if I've ever
seen the film. all the way through. Because the
first bit... Oh, you must have. It's the bit
just before they do the bit with Sam Neill talking
about folding the paper and going through. That
little bit before that, I struggle to remember
any of it. All the rest of it I remembered, but
just the bit before. It's not important. It's
not important, so you don't switch on for it.
You forget how good a... cast it is as well not
just lawrence fishburne but sam neill as well
who you've just got to love his kind of acting
style for anything whether it's dress it park
or this he was absolutely the man for that role
i couldn't imagine anyone else doing it you know
so last episode we're saying we enjoyed it so
much we didn't write many notes that's how many
notes i wrote yeah 10 lines barely anything and
it's because i was just engrossed in the film
Yeah, and that's the beautiful thing about Event
Horizon. It's a long film. It's not short, but
it truly pulls you in. How long was it? Did you
write it down? I didn't, but I'm sure we can
find it. I think it's a long film. If it's not,
I apologise. I'm pretty sure it's one of the
longer ones of the era. I can't see where it
says it on INDB, how long it was. Well, no, no,
it's not a long film. It's a short film. It's
one hour 36. Sorry. Oh, yeah, one hour 36. Well,
yeah. But they fit a lot in. It didn't feel rushed.
No, it doesn't feel rushed. There's a lot in
it. Now, I mean, we'll come to it later when
we talk about the famous lost cut edition, which...
I'd love to see it. We've spoken about this before.
Yeah, but let's actually talk about the film
first of all. Just everything about it. works
and this is where we were saying last episode
that does it is it does it really require a prequel
or is this just another thing preying on a franchise
that isn't required yeah i think we said what
could the prequel possibly be it's got to be
the creation of the event horizon and i'm a bit
worried they're going to spend a load of time
in hell well the point so we've got two kind
of options haven't we we've got option one it's
going to be all based in hell and they're going
to make it gratuitous and brutal and properly
horrific because they can but keep it within
the confines of whatever they need and it will
still be released at 15 because whatever they
do they're going to be told you need to rein
it back or is option two going to be it's a completely
different storyline with no characters that feel
like they fit the universe or what we've already
been told about and it's going to end up as like
a 12a yeah i don't see them going balls deep
we're going on making an 18 certificate film
that hopefully we're going to get told to get
back to the cutting room i just don't see it
happening based on this the ship goes to hell
it's there for seven years and then comes out
again the ship is now and possessed. It basically
has hell on board. When it comes back, all the
crew is on it based on, well, or maybe not. No,
when it comes back, everyone has destroyed themselves.
Okay, so I was thinking how else could it say,
yeah, that must be the case. Basically, it's
going to be the same film. It's going to be the
same film, but the film's going to end with all
of them dying. and then the ship going to hell.
But this is, yeah, exactly. And I just don't
see that happening as a sequel. I don't think
anyone's brave enough to do a, sorry, not a sequel,
a prequel. I don't think anyone's brave enough
to do a prequel to a film that has got cult status
and to kill everyone in the end. But they have
to. Just to lead on to the film. That's the only
possible way that they could do a prequel to
it. If it's an Event Horizon prequel, I mean,
they are all dead before it goes to hell. Right?
No, I think they all die in hell. They're all
tortured and destroyed in hell. Because you see
the pleading for help and stuff, like the locks.
So yeah, you get the videos and the footage of
the kind of captain with no eyes and stuff like
that, don't you? And the screaming and the sounds
of what the ship's been recording. Oh, that's
how they're going to have to do it. You know,
that's it. So it's going to be on there. And
then the film will take them to hell. And then
when they're in hell, that's when they're all
going to go nuts and die. I don't think we're
going to get that. I'll tell you what we're going
to get. We are going to get a boring science
film of them discussing that this is what we're
doing, them testing it, some weird shit happening
during testing that they can't explain, and the
film will end with, I don't know, them escaping
onto the event horizon or the event horizon being
sent off. even though these weird shit has happened.
And then the event horizon goes off, end of the
film, and that's when it leads into the normal
event horizon. So I think what we'll get is this
just semi -boring, this is us testing about folding
space. Young Sam Neill, whoever's going to play
him, is designing it. And that's why he went
out to go and see event horizon, because obviously
you need that time, because why is he... When
he gets to Event Horizon, why is he so swayed
immediately into hell when he gets there? And
I think he's already been there. In my mind,
if I'm going to do some sort of prequel to make
it so that Sam Neill's character in Event Horizon
is so easily led into being into hell and being
this demonic person. He's already there. Has
he already visited hell twice or once or twice
before Event Horizon went? Yeah, that makes sense.
Because that is the kind of... if we're going
to plink holes at the plot. That's kind of the
only really thing that is there. I was saying
all the way along, it's like he knows. And was
he meant to be on Event Horizon? But whatever
happens in this prequel, maybe it becomes comatose,
which is why you can't explain. You can't send
them because it's going to kill them all. And
that's why he then goes off to go and get his
ship back. Is his wife on the event horizon?
I honestly can't remember. I know his wife's
a part of it, but I don't know if she dies. And
again, could that be that they were scientists
together? I liked his Hey Arnold -esque shrine
to her. And I noticed that two of the photos
were the exact same photo, just a slightly different
size. Yeah, you can feel a bit like that. But
yeah, it feels like he, and this is the big problem
with Event Horizon. If you're going to pick holes
in what I consider one of the greatest sci -fi
horror films out there. Oh, yeah. And bear in
mind, it was a huge failure. Really? Massive,
massive. I've got the figures here. If I open
up my phone to have a look here. That's surprising.
Budget 60 million at box office, a box office,
26. Oh, really? Oh, yeah. People were just too
scared of it or? It was. so it must have made
its money um but in effect it's hellraiser in
space um the issue with it i think may have been
that at the time people weren't that interested
maybe in it but also the fact that initial reviews
it jumps about too much and the reason it jumps
about too much and not enough is explained in
parts of what we were just saying is because
huge amounts had to be cut out. The studio basically
said, you cannot air this. This needs to be heavily
edited. So it went to the cutting room. And again,
I wrote it down here. Where was it? 30 minutes
of too disturbing footage was lost forever. 30
minutes. 30 minutes. Would we find it disturbing
now in the same way? Yeah, that's... Bearing
in mind that Die Hard is no longer an 18, BBFC
has redone it as a 15, I would suggest probably
not with most things. It's funny though, Event
Horizon has remained an 18. I wonder if where
it does all that flashing of seeing them all
being tortured, if those scenes are longer. Well,
this is what I've got here. Because they were
very good depictions of a hellscape. They were
very good. Yeah, so one of the known facts, sorry.
Some of the hell footage was filmed using amputees
and porn actors for realism. Okay. That's the
stuff that was cut. Yeah, okay. And yeah, everybody
hates that the full director's cut was destroyed.
There's no closure. There's no proper version.
And yeah, I've got here, the missing footage
allegedly means that there's character arcs and
explanations that just vanish. I bet one day
that's hidden away in someone's loft. Well, allegedly
there is one copy of it in a salt mine in Hungary
on a mouldy VHS tape. I don't know how true that
is. It's an odd place for it to be. A very odd
place, but there you go. So yeah, lost footage
stored on a moldy VHS in a Transylvanian salt
mine. Why would it be there? No idea. It's one
of those things like the guy who edited it would
have kept a copy for himself, put it in one of
those like circular tin things. put it in his
loft and forgot all about it. And he'd be like
his great grandchild inheriting a house, going
through all the loft stuff and we'll find Event
Horizon original. But this is the bit I wanted
to find. And I think this explains why the film
was a failure. And as much as it's become a cult
film now and you can sit back and you can enjoy
it because of what it is, even though you've
got the big holes in it. And I think personally,
this is very, and if this is true, this is why
it's broken. Anderson delivered his cut in six
weeks instead of 10 months. We did it really
quick. Yeah. Six weeks to cut 30 minutes of footage
in a film that is quite exposition strong. That's
a lot to remove. you're not just removing large
chunks of grotesque horror. It sounds like quite
a bit was removed. And it feels like that. If
you watch it without having the fandom glasses
on, without saying, I am a fan of this film,
if you try and take those off and you try and
pick holes in it, it's quite hard to pick holes
in. There's not enough explanations for some
things, yet some things don't get explained at
all. And how does... the drive end up going to
hell what actually is hell are we talking about
hell are we talking about different and so much
of it is left unexplained that sometimes you
it it gets lucky it gets lucky because your own
brain starts filling in some of the gaps yeah
yeah and the bits that they left in like him
covered in the weird symbols etched in his skin
is enough for you to go oh fuck me And throw
you off kilter so you stop thinking about anything
else. If you're picking holes, if you can walk
away from that and just go, no, I'm going to
pay attention to exactly how this story is going.
There are so many bits that just aren't explained
that could have been done so much better. And
that's me being unfair or me being brutal to
it. Me being the fan of it, I fucking love the
film. I couldn't care that there's plot holes
in it. It's brilliant. It's scary. it's not quite
over the top and there's some genuinely fun parts
in it as well the the only bits really because
like i was trying to put myself in their situation
there's not a situation like the the girl the
mum who's had the disabled kid yeah i couldn't
put myself into her brain where i would follow
a vision of my child who i know was impossible
to be there Absolutely impossible. It couldn't
convince me otherwise. No. It absolutely couldn't.
There's no way I would be falling from that balcony.
Because if I'm like, okay, we know this ship's
trying to kill us. We're taking these anti -carbon
dioxide filters. The ship's going to try and
show me something. And I saw my son running around.
I'm not going to drop my stuff. How did he suddenly
get here? It's just... It's not happening. And
it's funny, isn't it? A similar era film is Sphere.
And a very similar story. That's the underwater
one. That's the underwater one, where they have
a sphere that when they enter, something happens
to them and then they come out. And actually,
I really enjoy Sphere. The book is phenomenal.
I've read the book, really enjoyed the book.
A lot better than the film, as it often goes.
And in some ways, it's very similar to Event
Horizon where we've got this weird sphere thing
and it's doing these things. Where sphere falls
down and Event Horizon also falls down is you
still don't really get this explanation of is
what's actually happening real? So Event Horizon,
is this real? Is this just mass hysteria? Are
they just killing themselves? Is this genuinely
meant to be hell? what is going on whereas with
sphere bless it it's like these things we've
manifested we've made them real and then have
you ever seen sphere a long time ago i'm not
sure i remember it particularly well the ending
of sphere is one of those ones that you go i
enjoyed it up to that point why did you do this
they all basically come to the idea that the
sphere is manifesting everything so if we imagine
that the sphere no longer exists and it just
went away it'll go away it does and it does okay
whereas event horizon you're just kind of yeah
it's so you know it's such a bad way of ending
of such a good book but um event horizon obviously
you don't get the it just goes away but you still
have no idea is is this just manifestations is
it real and they're causing these injuries to
themselves is this genuinely hell yeah i mean
all these things aside still as we've said it's
brilliant exactly we're just picking holes in
something because you need to be negative to
then pick out the positives and every actor cast
in that film is brilliant everyone's good um
The little bits of comedy they throw in as well.
Absolutely fantastic. The bit where he's fixing
the ship and he's, I've only just fixed her.
Boom. Yeah. It's just heartbreaking. Yeah. That
Cooper character was an easy one to dislike too.
Yes. Yeah, considering he survives at the end.
It's like one of the characters, like the one
I wanted to survive dies in the ship. He gets
blown up, doesn't he? Yes, he does. He was a
guy I liked. I reckon he could have disabled
that bomb. He only had to press disable on three
things, but he stands there, looks at it and
goes, fuck. Yeah. I reckon, had he known how
to disable, maybe because he didn't know, but
he instantly shown the touchscreen with three
disabled icons on it. I wonder if he could have
quickly gone, and disabled it with like two seconds
left. Probably, but again, it wouldn't progress
the story and ended up with. the least amount
of people surviving to make it more of a, oh
my God, is anyone going to survive this? I do
wonder though, had they managed to escape, let's
say they escaped. Yeah. So Lawrence Fishburne
and the other few escape. Are they now tortured
and insane if they get away from the ship? Because
it's kind of at the end, you're not sure because
she has that weird vision when she wakes up.
Yeah. And you could actually play that quite
nicely into this prequel we're talking about.
You could have everybody that's been on a test
flight so far has come back and they are absolutely
insane. They've completely lost the plot. Either
they come back and they're just completely psychotic
or they're almost comatose. Yeah. yeah uh i'm
just like imagine if they were doing a sequel
to it because it would almost be like sigourney
weaver do you know what i mean so it'd be that
actress yeah it'd be the ones like you've got
to go back i'm not going back you know that kind
of scenario well yeah well what it would be it
would be the typical wayland utani thing of we
sent out a recovery ship after you we've recovered
the drive And brought it back. And we've brought
it back to Earth, and we've just fit it in the
Event Horizon 2. It's kind of like Doom. I was
just going to say, you could actually fit this
into a Doom film. It's like Doom 3. Event Horizon's
Doom 3. Yeah. Actually, you're not far off. Yeah,
manually created this connection to hell. Yeah.
And then... Which is a really good fucking intro
to a game. Doom 3 didn't get... gets a bit slated,
but actually opening to Doom 3 when you're on
that space station is really fucking cool. It
is. It is really cool. Going back to Event Horizon
for a moment then, what else have we got? I liked
how the Event Horizon, when we talk about Hell
and the design of the ship, they almost kept
it cathedral -esque. It almost felt like you're
in this kind of, this church, this gothic, hr
geiger sort of creation yeah yeah and part of
me wants to say was that intentional or was or
was the ship warped and changed by hell and this
is what has come back was it meant to look like
that when you consider the ship that they go
in looks nothing like it and i know it's an experimental
ship but well that adds more credence to you
saying about samuel designed that ship so you
know he would have made the drive before the
ship yes so if you think he's gone mad with hell
then he then designed the ship purposely to look
like that to become to become like this um the
the ship of hell you know to make it look that
way aesthetically was very different wasn't it
but i did love so the the outside so it's miniatures
it's got to be again that opening scene When
you see the ship on the outside, the ship they
fly out in, what a beautiful kind of scene that
was. And then all the cockpit stuff in their
ship, amazing set design, very reminiscent of
Alien. It was very believable that that was and
could be a ship. Unlike so many sci -fi films
from this kind of day onwards. It wasn't just
shiny and new. It looked like it had been in
space. It looked like it worked for a living.
Whereas, I mean, you look at the new Star Trek
films, as much as I enjoy the Chris Prine Star
Trek films, the Enterprise just always looked
beautiful and clean and everything just looks
like it's immaculate. A lot of sci -fi films
do it, and I don't get it. You're flying around
space. You're going to pick up shit. You aren't
going through a fucking space starship wash every
day. I heard somebody say this a little while
ago. Star Trek is a utopian future. Star Wars
is a dystopian future. And I think that's the
difference. A, it's a dystopia. This is a dystopia.
But they're kind of more realistic, if you really
think about it. I think if I was going to...
Imagine a military spaceship being used a lot.
Imagine the inside of an aircraft carrier when
you see that. All the netting on the sides, buckets.
That's what it would be. So many people have
disagreed with me on this. This is why I really
liked the new Star Trek films. You're on the
Starship Enterprises, the first Enterprise that
they've built in those film franchise. The warp
core literally looks like... a nuclear reactor
all of engineering is scaffolding platforms and
everything like that which is exactly what you
would get in something like a submarine or a
warship the enterprise series is like that exactly
it genuinely feels like oh okay no this actually
feels like i'm in something that's new and it
is what it is and yeah that was a brilliant aesthetic
and i think more should do it like that yeah
but um yeah anyway back to event horizon there
are things it could have done better absolutely
but it still works yeah um for me favorite scene
still scares the crap out of me the circuit board
scene crawling through the circuit board the
matrix kind of conduits thing and the light going
off and i've said it on the show before i watched
it for the first time i bought it on dvd from
virgin megastore I bought my Xbox, original Xbox,
the same day. And next door to game in Watford
was a Dixons. And I bought a Yamaha receiver.
I bought a 5 .1 sound system. You had some money.
I was 16. I wasn't bothering with college. I
was working pretty much five days a week. And
I didn't have a girlfriend at the time. Yeah,
you had money then. I had money. And I just took
it all home, plugged it all in. Great staff discount,
remember, on the Xbox. How did you get it home
at 16? Was your mum driving you around? Mum doesn't
drive, no. I carried it home in the bus. It was
a very heavy... An AVR, an Xbox? Oh, yeah. Jesus.
Yeah, mate. Speakers as well. It was hard work,
mate. Really hard work. Yeah, I bet. But I got
it home, plugged it all in, and that night, lights
off. It's the first time I'd experienced 5 .1
as well. Oh, fucking scared the shit out of me.
I even had the Xbox done with an optical cable
to the receiver. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I could
get prime audio, darling. Yeah, well done. Oh,
God, what though? It was the Yamaha receiver.
It was Altec speakers. Was it Altec? They're
little satellite ones. Yeah, so they were probably
about, I'm just holding up a Canon Monstra for
those that obviously can't see. Maybe about half
the size bigger than that. Yeah. And I had, yeah,
four and then one that went on top of the TV
and then a big ass sub. Yeah, the big sub, yeah,
yeah. And it was brilliant. Absolutely blew me
away. Yeah. And yeah, Revent Horizon scared the
shit out of me. Got to that corridor scene in
the pitch black watching it and then you've got
the screaming from coming around all around you.
I was like, I don't like it. Yeah. Oh, I would
have loved to have done that. It was bad enough
in here. I would have had all the lights off.
I bet. Yeah. Same. Loved it. I don't know what
else to say, really. We've waffled on a lot.
Really, I'm happy that we watched another good
one. Yeah, I'm really happy. I mean, we managed
to talk for 25 minutes, which is good, but it's
so often that actually we can talk more and with
more verbosity about the terrible films rather
than the good ones, because the good ones, you
just feel like saying, they were good. What do
you want me to say? Everyone knows Event Horizon
is good. Which is why sometimes we have to go
down that route of picking on the negatives,
because it helps you understand more the positives.
Well, let me tell you, I haven't told you about
the next one. Oh, shit. Transfer complete. I
will not watch come guzzlers from space five.
The first four are enough for me. Okay. Well,
let's pause it then. Cause we need to chat about
what we're going to do. Um, okay. So this is
a film. Congratulations. That came out in 2006.
I'd never heard of it until within the last year.
And I've seen lots of clips of it. And I've been
2006. Who was in it? Oh, okay, hang on, let me
get it up on IMDb. I'd never heard of it, and
I just saw clips that I thought it was made up.
Oh, right, okay. Like it was like an SNL skit.
It was that much that I thought it was an SNL
skit. So who's in it? Luke Wilson. Right, okay.
Dax Shepard, Terry Crews. Oh, Terry Crews. Okay.
Yeah. Maya Rudolph, if you know who she is, which
is why I thought it was an SNL clip. Dax Shepard.
Right. Okay. Yeah. Okay. It's a 15. It's an hour
and 24 minutes, 2006. It is a film called Idiocracy.
Yes. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. No, I knew this
exists and I've always wanted to watch it because
it looks so fucking stupid. I've really wanted
to see it ever since I realised it was an actual
film. It started, as soon as you said Terry Crews,
it's like, shit, hang on, I should know what
this is. Yeah, he basically tests something for
the military and ends up in the future and when
they wake him up, everyone is idiots and he becomes
the... An average U .S. Army librarian named
Joe Bowers, played by Luke Wilson, is selected
for a top secret human hibernation experiment.
He is forgotten about and wakes up 500 years
later in a dystopian future where humanity has
become incredibly unintelligent due to due to
dysgenics, mass community. commercialism i knew
i was going to get that wrong and anti -intellectualism
yeah they're basically watering everything with
energy energy drink which is killing everything
i've seen random clips of it and the prison car
scene where they send in he gets a little crappy
car he's got you can understand why i thought
it was like an snl well do you know who directed
and wrote it uh i saw his name i don't know who
that is you don't know who mike judge is Hang
on, let me go back. Mike Judge, creator of King
of the Hill. Oh, okay. I don't like that. I don't
like beavers and butthead. I think it's shit.
I do. Sorry, that's upset you. I don't think
it's even remotely funny. He's moved his microphone
away. Is this the hot take that's going to end
our friendship? I think people should buy it.
Oh, dear. Sorry. We are going to watch Beaver's
Head to America. No, we're not. I don't want
to watch that. Please don't make me watch that.
please don't to be fair no i i will let you off
beavers and butthead is definitely one of these
ones that are like rick and moore's you like
any of the adult animation you either enjoy it
or you don't um it is very much of its era too
the modern ones were phenomenal in comparison
to actually how they did it um and how similar
they are to the original mike judge did a brilliant
job coming back to it but it is very pure island
if it's not your cup of tea it's not your cup
of tea i mean for me it's king of the hill is
is amazing uh and it's so different to what he
did with beavers and butthead is it's hard to
believe it's the same bloke that wrote it i really
like king of the hill yeah i do it's one of my
favorite animated shows along with bob's burgers
but um this is by the same bloke that did beavers
and butthead king of the hill God, he's written
loads. Office Space was his. Yeah, I know Office
Space, yeah. I'm pretty sure he did Office Space
as well. I'm going to have to double check that
now just to make sure. Yes, Office Space was
his. Silicon Valley, he was a writer and was
created for as well and produced. There's a lot,
absolutely a lot. So I am pretty hopeful that
as stupid as idiocracy is going to be. I'm going
to have a lot of fun with that. I think so, yeah.
As I said, I've been really wanting to see it
for ages. I needed to find an excuse to see it,
and I found one. So that's it. Next time, 2006
Idiocracy. Command functions are offline. And
that's it. That's another Untitled Sci -Fi Show.
Thank you, everybody, for listening. And thank
you for the repeated listeners. Thank you for
the people that messaged. Thank you for the people
that are writing with, I guess, the intros. Thank
you very, very much to our Ko -Fi supporters.
Please remind me of everyone's names. Oddtrots
Karen James. Thank you very much. Love you all
very deeply. We genuinely, not mentions are funny,
genuinely very much appreciate. I know I take
the piss, but honestly, really means a lot to
us. So thank you. We are. Two of the people involved
in Studio Channel 84, our indie podcast network.
We are Untitled Selfish, obviously, and our main
show, The Variety Show. And we are also Karen
and Adam from Lightly Used, Simon and Ross from
Who Takes Socks Off, and James from Super A to
Z. That's all of us. I don't think I've missed
any new characters. No, no, no. I don't think
I've missed any new characters. You've got everyone.
You can email us on podcasts at channel84 .co
.uk. Always muddle that up. You can find all
of our other links, all our social links, over
on the website. No, just channel84 .co .uk. Fuck,
I'm fucking it up. Head to the button that says
talk to us, basically. And we're all there, all
of us. I'm not particularly good at putting anything
on there. I never had anything on there. I know
that James has started doing it. I know that
Karen and Adam have been very good at doing it.
Adam was always very good at putting on there.
I don't know if Simon and Ross put anything on
there, to be honest. I don't often go on their
website. But it's there. We have got a lot of
blogs on there. I've got a lot of rants. Most
of mine are rants. That's fine. But yeah, that's
it. Do chat with us. We love talking to everybody.
Yeah, find us on social, email us, stalk us.
We really don't mind. Idiocracy. And I look forward
to potentially... A bit of squirming from you
over there as you try and figure out which film
your wife, which films my wife, Chase, forgets
the intro. Love you. Love you, Tom. Love you.
Bestest man in the world. Love you. Bye -bye.
Love you. Bye -bye. Thank you for listening to
the Untitled Sci -Fi Show. This station is now
shutting down and will be back in two weeks.
May the Force live long and prosper inside of
you.