I don't know what the heck is going on. I can
tell you that it's impossible to translate from
an audio file. I would need to be there to interact
with them. Take better care of your teeth and
fuck a lot more. Hey, we don't serve their kind
here. What? You mustn't be afraid to dream of
a bigger daughter. You will ride eternal, shining
and growing. It is, they've moved the fucking
cucumbers, the pricks. It's like literally walking
around, it's like, why are the cucumbers here?
They're three hours away from where they were.
This is not right. Everybody we're talking about,
why do Tesco's change their locations or their
items? And TJ would like to know why the cucumbers,
specifically the cucumbers, have moved. Can I
just say? During COVID, we were so lucky that
the arrows were the direction that I walk the
aisles. Because if they were, I would have been
broken. I could not have coped with that. Let
me tell you, right. So aside from obviously all
the terrible things about COVID. It made shopping
a wonderful experience. Oh, it did. You got to,
there was barely anyone in there. I got to just
have my headphones on. I wore a gas mask for
a few times and no one talks to you. You have
to go down every aisle because you have to follow
the lines, which I normally would do anyway.
Unless I'm in a rush, I'll shove Miranda and
tea around the place really quick and skip us.
We don't need to go there. We don't need to go
there. But then I always go up and down every
aisle. And then you'd be like, I'll come home.
Do you remember Miranda? And I'd be like. that
person come right next to me when I was getting
the yoghurts. Like, can you believe the fucking
cheek of it? Does she even know how far two metres
is? Oh, I love it. Hello, by the way. You're
also in trouble. You're very bad. With your wife
or my wife? No, with T. Why? You made him cry.
Oh, stop it. Did I make him cry? You made him
cry. I haven't seen him. You did. You jump scared
us in Tesco a couple of weeks ago. Oh, I did,
yeah, yeah, yeah. And then you ran away with
your tea, running away from me, and Mighty just
burst into floods of tears thinking, they've
run away from me. Not from him. Yeah, he thought
you'd run away from him. Oh, you should have
texted me and I would have come back. No, you
were gone by that point. We got him back quite
quick as well. Oh, okay, right. But, oh, he was
proper, proper gone. Oh, yeah, that's because,
you know. the conversation outside of podcast
worlds there was a joke between you and jim which
i enjoyed winding you up about and then we bumped
into each other in tesco's and i just brought
it up randomly and ran off before you could get
me yes that was it that was it well it's something
to do with a summer exam anyway who cares welcome
to the entire soft show i'm rob that's tj miranda's
over there somewhere there's dogs in the house
there's cats everywhere let's get on with it
enter authorization code Really awkward for everyone.
TJ just told my wife to slightly pull out. No,
I told you to slightly pull out for your wife.
There's a difference, Rob. You won't be able
to hear Miranda, but you might be able to hear
her cackling over there. Right, let me just start
this again. Okay, so we... Oh, I've just closed
the file. This is just a disaster. Disaster.
Let's go all the way back down. Right, so we
do have a half winner. James. Not saying his
surname, just James. Just James. Half the person.
Yeah, James from Studio Channel 84, James. He
got every single one on his first try, but he
couldn't get the connection between them. He
had his own connection, which was valid. There
was another connection of all of these. Oh, really?
But it wasn't the connection I wanted. I'll tell
you at the end. So for Miranda's benefit, there's
going to be six. sci -fi or sci -fi adjacent
clips you just need to guess what film it is
so yeah what i was going to say we're going to
do it slightly differently if that's okay we'll
go through it and i'm just going to say what
the film was first And then we'll get to the
end and I'm going to explain what I think my
connection is and why. Yeah, that's exactly what
we're going to do. So at the moment, we're just
going to go through each one and you're going
to try and guess what the film is. He already
knows what they are, so we're going to let you
go first because he's got every single one right
because he told me and we've already had this
discussion. No, we haven't. Yeah, you sent me
all the answers. No, no, no, no. I said, is the
connection this? Oh, you didn't tell me the answers.
No. Okay, right. He's got the connection right.
He doesn't know why. Oh, I do know why. You and
James should have spoke. I do know why. Right,
so you're just going to have to, if you can.
Guess what the film is. They're all films, I'm
pretty sure. And then at the end, there's a connection
between all of them. No, they're not all films.
The fifth one was not a film. Oh, hang on. Fucking
hell, I did this. How do I not know this? Let
me just look. Oh, no, yes, you're quite right.
One of them wasn't films. One of them wasn't
films. Okay, so shall we get ready and start?
Let's just get on with it. Number one. You know,
people like you are the reason I was afraid to
go to school as a child. There you are. That's
the first one. This blew me away that it's that
person. I absolutely had no idea until looking
back. Okay. We're going to play it again on Miranda's
request. Okay, that's really difficult for me
to do, so I will do my best if you ask me to.
Okay, ready? You know, people like you are the
reason I was afraid to go to school as a child.
Okay, so this is a character that has been, to
help you guess the film, the character who's
talking has been portrayed by two separate actresses
in multiple versions of this film. Correct. The
colour blue. Yeah, they are completely blue.
And a bit orange. They're ginger. Yeah, their
hair's like red or ginger and they are completely
blue. Naked. No, no. Covered in bumps. You really
like this film. You really like a different character
in the film. Came from the year 2000. Like Dr.
Dre. Was that 2001, that album? Oh. It might
have been 2001. Simon will let me know, I'm sure.
It's Gary Jarrett. Gary Jarrett. Come on. People
are waiting. No, I'm going to... Guys, get overruled.
That is Mystique in X -Men. Mystique in X -Men.
It's when she's on the plane. She's talking to
Senator Kelly. She's on the aeroplane. The first
Mystique. Okay, right. Next. You talk like a
leader, but the strongest leads. Oh, my God.
Right. You talk like a leader, but the strongest
lead. So this was a film I hadn't seen, so I
had to do some research to find this. He hasn't
seen it. We've seen it. I really like it. Yes.
There's two of them. As Diddy would call it,
it's a thinking man sci -fi. Which I have definitely
said in front of you before. Slow paced, very
long. I was going to say, it's like Lord of the
Rings. It's very long. Yeah, two of them. It's
a remake. Lots of sand. worms june yeah there
we go so that's that's jamis or jamis from yeah
jamis from from june so the first of the remake
tunes he's not in the second one spoilers for
people who haven't seen june and want to know
what happens with that character sorry tj i am
balthazar blake And you are my apprentice. Come
on. Such a recognisable voice. Never seen it.
So that's Balthazar, Blake, funny enough. And
the Sorcerer's Apprentice. And you can always
tell who that actor is. You can't mistake it.
Right, next one. Be grateful Black Bolt doesn't
engage you in conversation. This strange is even
more arrogant than ours. This strange is more
arrogant than ours. Have you both seen this now?
No, we haven't seen it, but the fact that the
name of the character is in it. I just said his
name. So it's the Multiverse of Madness, and
that's Captain Carter. That was Captain Carter,
who happened to be speaking. So it's in the alternate
universe where they're all in charge and blah,
blah, blah, and then you've got Black Bolt stood
next to her. Yes, Black Bolt is stood next to
her. They're not vampires. What the hell are
they? Ooh, maybe they're Ninja Turtles. Come
on, Miranda. If you don't get it, you're going
to kick yourself for not getting that one. Again,
this is one I've never seen, but it was such
an easy thing. Google that one. Yeah, that's
a TV series, and it's a vampire talking to another
vampire. It was The Vampire Diaries, Miranda,
yes. And that was Stefan, I believe. And that
was Stefan, yeah. There's a lot of really great
clips of that guy. He's really good in that show.
He's really good in everything he's been in,
I've noticed. Yes. I did use Pupo, and the show
is crap. But he's good. He is good, especially
when he's drunk. I found a clip that was basically
just five minutes of him being drunk on The Vampire
Diaries. Great. Next one. Right, I don't know
if you've seen that. It's quite an older film
now. Cracking film. It's the... Okay, so it's...
Is it the sequel? Yes. It is the sequel, yes.
So these are all characters who are in something
else that we've been watching recently. So that
last one, that's not what the connection is,
that last one, who just spoke then... That character
she's playing is part of a group of characters
who are in another show that we're watching on
Netflix. Day of the Week. That's the biggest
bloody clue in the whole world. The show's named
after a day of the week, which is the character's
name. Wednesday. So that's the Addams Family
Values, was that? Addams Family Values, that's
Granny. That was Granny. Now then, I'm going
to go through that again. It's from Rand's benefit.
This is in the order I've got it written down.
So The Vampire Diaries, Doctor Strange and the
Multiverse, The Sorcerer's Apprentice. Yeah.
Oh, I've just clicked something. X -Men, Dune
and Adam's Family Values. They are all connected.
So I was going down the route of Strange New
Worlds, which obviously gets thrown out as soon
as you've got kind of Nick Cage speaking. And
as soon as you go to the Captain Carter, because
again, Hayley Atwell, who played Captain Carter,
is not in Strange New Worlds. But then you do
a bit more digging. And for example, so Mystique,
Una from Strange New Worlds. Yep. Go a bit slower
so Brandon can, yeah. June, James, Dr. Mbenga.
His voice is so recognisable, by the way. Now
you know his voice, you're not going to miss
that one. Vampire Diaries, Stefan. Yep. James
T. Kirk. Yep. Granny, the one you don't like
anymore, Pellier or whatever name is. Played
by Carol Kane. Now this is where I then spent
ages trying to go back on this. It's who he's
talking to, isn't it? It is. Which is Spock.
Yep. And then Captain Carter is stood next to
Black Bolt, who I had no idea was Captain Pike.
Was Captain Pike. So actually, in the source
print, I don't think he is talking to Ethan Peck.
I don't think the kid in the source print is
Ethan Peck. I couldn't... I just saw him, because
I tried to get them to be... That's the connection
is, they're all actors who are the main cast
and crew of... of strange new worlds yeah their
main yeah they're not he was the hardest one
because i i i specifically did want to go sci
-fi fantasy realm and the sorcerer's prince was
one of the only one of the only ones that he'd
been in that was even recognizable to me but
he must be an extra in it because he wasn't top
build on the cast that i could see on imdb Oh,
right. Because he's not the actual Sorcerer's
Apprentice. That's another guy who's a really
annoying actor. Sorry, if you ever listened to
whatever your name is. Oh, Jay Barrasher. Yeah,
so Ethan Peck plays somebody called Andre. I
don't know who that is. It could be like police
officer number three for all I know. Yeah, the
fact that he's quite a long way away while you're
scrolling through the IMDB list kind of gives
you an idea. There are a couple of pictures of
him in it, but you're right. In fact, the very
first image on there is... Not him, actually,
so ignore me. But that's it. So, well done, everybody.
I'm doing the same again. There's another, there'll
be a connection for this week's one. You would
have, everyone would have heard it already. So,
well done to James, the Jimbo8e6 .bluesky .social,
Super8az, Studio Channel 84. He got all of them
right, except the connection. And what was his
connection? Shall I tell you what he had his
connection as? Let's have his connection. He
texted me. What's happened? What's happened?
We need to do bacon numbers at some point for
these people as well. Right. I'm going to pause
it while I actually find the text message. Where's
the pause button? And as if by magic, we're off
of pause. So he's right here. After getting it
wrong, he then said, well, is it that they're
all originally literature -based stories? X -Men
and Multiverse are Marvel comics. Adam's Family
was originally a comic series and newspaper.
Vampire Diaries and Dune were novels and The
Sorcerer's Apprentice was a fucking poem from
the 1797. He Googled that, obviously. So well
done for that. I think he deserves that as a
connection because it's not even one he went
for. It was a connection, but it wasn't the right
connection. So he wouldn't have got his name
read out if he'd got all the other ones wrong.
But yeah, he gets to go into the winner's lounge.
He gets a cup of tea and a chocolate biscuit.
Well done, James. Ooh la la. Ah, right. Alone
at last. I thought it would never come. I did.
Oh, gross. What have you been doing? Not much
sci -fi. I've caught up a little bit on Alien
Earth. So I've watched the next two episodes
afterwards. So I've got to the point that...
morrow is still talking to the young man in his
head and he ends up looking at hermit through
the window thinking i'm going to choose you a
bit like the old lottery it's you it's you um
so we got through that episode quite a strong
episode that one actually really really good
seeing the building of everyone and you've got
the other young lad that that's i want a proper
name so i want to be called i and it's brilliant
seeing that is that what he calls yeah he calls
himself eyes wants to be called isaac as in isaac
newton and everything else uh we get the idea
that ginge is really losing it i'm pregnant are
you okay yeah this is a little bit traumatized
this is right isn't it um so we've got all of
that then we go into the next episode which Honestly,
if that's the future of space travel and that's
the quality of the staff that people are being
put on spaceships, they deserve to crash into
Earth. Oh, that's the episode where it basically
does the flashback. It's purely the whole spaceship
episode. And they're such a shit crew. Oh, they
look dickheads to each other too. commander's
banging one of them, Tang or whatever his name
is, is bashing one out over a freezing tube.
It's pretty rancid. Well, it certainly humanised
it, but I think it does kind of fit because you
think all these people that these companies have
are like the lifers who owe money or whatever
and get locked into like 20 -year contracts.
But that's the thing, actually. That's the one
really good thing I'll tell you. Don't get me
wrong, it wasn't a bad episode. It just... overly
showed the frailty of the human race and the
human condition when it's so few people in deep
space um the thing i really liked from it though
is before malachite dies basically the older
engineers saying why would I buy something nice
for my wife? I left her when she was 31 for this
job. Yeah. Yeah. That was 65 years ago. She now
looks like my grandmother. Yeah. That's why we
get paid what we do. And that's like, that's
why when the next mission comes up, it's like,
yeah, pick me, pick me. You have abandoned everything.
It's horrible thought, isn't it? That actually,
yeah, I'm going to do this job. I'm not going
to be back for 65 odd years. you're leaving everything
behind what is it i've been watching the bobby
verse i've been it talks a lot about like relative
time to act to you you know how your time is
different than earth's when you're traveling
through space so yeah so for the and plus as
well he get you know those people are getting
put to sleep for 10 years or whatever travel
time and then their relative time is different
from earth anyway so for them yeah it might have
been 20 years, but yet 60 years on Earth. So
they're not coming back to anything. No, and
it's interesting, actually, that they've started
to kind of experiment in exploring that idea
more. Yeah. Because we get it in alien Romulus
as well. Time dilation? That's not time dilation,
is it? It's called something. Yeah. It's Einstein's
thought that the further you move away from Earth
and the faster you go, the slower time. Your
time is relatively slower. Theory of relativity.
that's in theory what it is i think but yeah
so in alien aliens alien 3 alien resurrection
you don't get any you get yeah oh well yeah we
deep freeze each other and we travel you don't
really talk about all of that until you get really
into aliens when it's like well yeah you've been
frozen for x number of years it's now quite far
in the future blah blah blah but they still don't
really dig into that whereas then when you come
along to romulus and whatever you say about rom
i enjoyed it i didn't mind it as a film i thought
it was a Good addition to it. Better than Resurrection.
Better than quite a lot of the stuff. Is Romulus
the most recent alien film? That's the most recent
one. Oh, no, that's great. I liked it. And what
I really liked, and what Alien Earth is kind
of hammering home as well, is Yatani's just a
bastard of a company. Well, they're all bastards.
So Romulus, they're stuck on this planet. She
can't get away from that planet. And the contract
just keeps getting extended and extended. And
you get the idea again, these people on this
ship. we get stuck on this job we lose all our
family so then we're begging basically the company
just to keep sending us on these things and it
kind of feels like you're not begging you just
you don't really have a choice do you yeah so
actually it really highlights how horrible the
company is yeah yeah um so no i really enjoyed
that and then we got through that episode and
then i kind of ran out of time um I finished
them, so you can talk as much as you want. Well,
no, so that's that. And then the only other sci
-fi I've done, I went back and I thought, I'm
going to start watching the Star Trek films from
the beginning again. Because you like torturing
yourself. No, I enjoy going through them once
in a while. And I was out with a motion picture,
and I think in recent years, it's generally accepted
it wasn't as bad a movie as people used to make
out. Now, the problem with the motion picture
is... A, it's the first film. So really, they
didn't know what they're going to do. What are
we going to do? It's before the next generation
was even kind of existed. And in fact, you can
see some of the sets that they then used for
the next generation in it. But it's the first
thing they've done since the original series.
How do we make this into a film? And you can
see that, yes, they had some good ideas, some
bad ideas. And that's what the problem is with
the motion picture. As much as I enjoy it, it's
paced so weirdly. So I watched this. oh i can't
believe 20 minutes has already gone by only like
an hour and 55 minutes left of this film then
literally it got to half an hour i can't believe
only half an hour has gone by but then it suddenly
speeds up again then it slows down it's just
a really badly paced film the story itself is
is pretty good and the remastering of it It's
really good on 4K. I saw it at the cinema. Was
it last year it must have been or a couple of
years ago? And it was fantastic. And seeing V
'ger or Voyager in its complete kind of design
that they wanted you to see was very cool as
well. So I'm just kind of halfway through that
at the moment. And that's kind of it on the science
fiction. You're not finished Strange New Worlds
yet? No, not because I'm bored of it. I just
wanted to kind of get onto alien Earth. Yeah.
And then I just wanted to be away from everything
kind of odd and wanted just to complicate my
life a little bit more, really. And just start
something else as well. Basically, it's a Trekkies
version, Trek fans version of self -flagellation
is watching all the Star Trek films again. Bus
driver's holiday. So that's kind of all I've
done. I've not even had any gaming time. I mean,
I've ordered something very cool from the TikTok
shop, if it turns up and is valid. But allegedly
the TikTok shop seller is the company that manufactures
it. It looks like an Xbox Elite controller made
by a Chinese company, but it's designed for Windows,
iOS, Android. It's got a little screen on it.
that you can program the colors of the whole
controller for it. And you can say, no, I'm connecting
to a PC. I want you to connect via Bluetooth,
or I want to connect via the included dongle
and it's switch compatible and all of that. And
this is like, this is going to be ideal. And
I mean, it's normally retails for 80 quid on
Amazon. TikTok shop was doing it for 35 direct
from the reseller. So we'll see what turns up,
but if it does turn up, I'm going to be ideal
for the razor, not the razor, the Legion, because
that really pisses me off. I love my Legion Go.
It's Windows. It's running Microsoft. I cannot
pair an Xbox controller to it and have it work.
So you can pair it, but you don't get all the
controls properly because the Xbox controllers
to work with Windows, you need the specific Microsoft
dongle to make it work properly. That sucks.
It's really shit. Really shit. So that's on order.
Otherwise, that's it, I'm afraid, darling. What
have you been up to? A few things, a few things.
So I have been playing a few games. Have you
finished the storm building fixing of the building
site that you were working on last time? No,
I gave that a little bit of a break because I
just fancied something a bit different than just
driving those things around. I've still got to
go back and play it. That's probably going to
be one that I'll go and jump in and out of because
it's not like you can forget the buttons. The
buttons are always on the screen. True. Driving
a car is always the right trigger. And a lot
of my gaming has been a bit shorter time spaces.
You need to kind of block a bit more time out
for that if you want to actually get anything
done because it takes so long to get from one
side of the map to the other. Yes, it's not one
that you can just pick up and do a 15 -minute
blast here because by that point you've got to
where you need to be and then you're turning
it off. Yeah, exactly. So a long time ago I kick
-started Yooka -Laylee. Have you heard of that
game? No. So the very team that made Banjo -Kazooie...
Oh, sorry, Yooka -Laylee. Yes, okay, yeah, yeah,
yeah. Yes, the very team that made Banjo -Kazooie,
one of my favourite games of all time, did a
Kickstarter many, many moons ago for a game called
Yooka -Laylee. Yeah, fun fact, JonTron was meant
to do a voice for it, then he aired a political
opinion and his voice was deleted and replaced.
I have heard that, yeah. Was he going to be Trouser
Snake? I don't know anything more than that.
I mean, the voices are like Banjo -Kazooie. It's
just... Anyway. And I've got to say, didn't actually
like the first iteration of it. The controls
were awful. The camera was awful. And it wasn't
awful in like, oh, they've gone retro. I think
that they actually just did a bad job of it.
And I'm sorry to say, I just think they did a
bad job. So I couldn't play it. Barely played
that much of it. And I was a kickstarter of it.
And then I came back to it years later. I came
back to it and I was like, they'd done some updates
to it and camera control and normal movement
control was all things that they addressed and
updated. I was like, oh, this feels really nice
now. And I paid for a bit and then I can't remember
why. I think something I'd been waiting for came
out. Anyway, they've kind of done a, they've
done an actual remake of it now. So it's not
like a remaster to bring it up today. They've
actually rebuilt a lot of it, completely changed.
the control schemes and how you control the characters
seems to be a thing at the moment isn't it so
we've got tomb raider we've got dark forces yeah
we've had spyro yeah but they've croc they've
also added shed loads more stuff and then a demo
was out so because i was quite i was actually
kind of interesting because i kick -started it
i get a discount anyway when it does come out
But I can't remember what console I brought it
on. I have to specifically buy it on the console.
I don't remember which one. You must still buy
it on the 360. Yeah. No, it wasn't on the 360.
It was Xbox or PS4, I think, and PC. I might
have on the PC, which I won't be getting on the
PC again. I'll get it on the Xbox. Anyway, enough
of that. So the graphics to me look the same.
I can't really tell. It's one of those cartoon
games. They always look good forever. It's not
really ever going to go out of style, that kind
of cartoon game. Like cell shading has always
looked good. I was going to say exactly that.
Proof of that, Jet Set Radio. Yeah, Jet Set Radio
or the Game 13, I think it's called. It's like
an FBA. It looks amazing now. And yeah, there
was a demo out. So they've added loads of levels,
loads more. If you're familiar with Banjo -Kazooie,
you go around and you collect notes and you collect
jigsaw pieces. This you collect pages, called
pages. They've added more of those, more bosses,
loads of stuff. So I was like, actually, you
know what? I might get this and actually play
this. Because it's only like 20 quid or something.
Funnily enough, 13 was another one they remastered
or remade. Oh, did they? Yeah, there was a remake
of that semi -recently. And talking of remakes
that are coming, did you ever play a game called
Blood? No, I don't think I've heard of it. It
used the incredibly famous first -person shooter
engine called Build that was used for Duke Nukem
3D. Okay. And it's one of my... To be fair, I
think I probably played more Blood than I played
Duke 3D. It's finally coming to consoles. I'm
going to look it up. Blood. It was... I have
to write blood game because it just came out
of blood pressure. Yeah. Oh, it looks like Doom.
Yeah, well, it was Duke 3D. It used the same
graphic engine as... And I spent... I tell you,
my youth was basically building. It came with
a... decent map editor so i know duke 3d came
with map editor but the one that came with blood
was even easier to use so you could build your
own maps and play them it was amazing i'm not
sure i even recognize it so like the title image
is a black solid black background it says blood
which looks like it's made of blood and then
a bloody handprint yeah so the original one would
have been a what would have looked like a gray
long gravestone that said blood and a weird kind
of bat creature Oh, yeah, there it is. Big wings,
yeah, kind of coming over the top. Yeah, there
you go. Yeah, no, I don't recognise this at all.
I mean, it looks just like Doom. It's clearly
a Doom kind of... Probably a Doom engine, probably.
Well, no, it's the Build engine from Duke 3D.
Oh, Build engine. Oh, right, sorry. So, yeah,
it's a Doom clone using Build instead, but obviously
it was more advanced than Doom at that point.
I mean, there's just wonderful things. One of
the weapons is a flare gun. So you fire it at
them and they keep walking towards you and then
just suddenly explode into flames. I like that.
So you can replay. I played the demo. Yeah. Finished
the demo. And then that basically was the tutorial.
And the tutorial for the new game is completely
different than the tutorial for the original
version of it. So they have definitely just that
little bit alone. Anyway, I also played a game
called Megabonk. Which I recommend you actually
play on Steam. Okay. So it's like £7, maybe a
bit more on Steam. It's filling you out. One
guy developing it is one of those. Now, have
you ever played Vampire Survivors? No. So in
Vampire Survivors, you play a little guy. It's
top -down. And you just have hordes of enemies
coming at you constantly. And when you kill an
enemy, it drops a gem. Gem gives you experience.
When you level up, you can then spend it on a
random one of three things that got offered to
you more. damage a new weapon, upgrade for a
weapon you've already got. It's that kind of
game. I don't know what they're called. A survival
roguelike game, I suppose. Anyway, Megabonk is
a... It's a roguelike survival game. Okay, it's
a 3D -ish version of that. Yeah, okay. Now, it's
clearly got to be in some kind of alpha form
at the moment. It's really addictive, and I can't
tell you why. I don't know. I'm enjoying playing
it. It's quite fun, but I... don't i think it's
very difficult like like a bit cruel in how difficult
it is so early on um loads of things to unlock
but i i don't like how the enemies literally
will appear right in front of you or really close
to you and they're so aggressive and how quick
they move and also a lot of games like You can
pass through enemies in a lot of games, which
you can do in Vampires 5 is you can just pass
through. Because when you're getting completely
swarmed, you need the person to actually have
a chance of getting out. In this, you can jump.
The jump's pointless because you can't jump over
fucking anything. And jump over the enemies that
I can see. And you can't pass through enemies
and enemies can't pass through each other. So
very quickly, you can get instantly overwhelmed
and be from 100 % health to zero instantly. Right.
Because you're instantly swarmed by like 30 or
40 people. You can't get out. You can't jump
over anyone. Your weapons just aren't. Your weapons
are good enough to kill things. But if you just
have had a tiny little lapse of judgment and
got yourself trapped, well, that's it, fucked.
Game over, start again. And I actually found
that a bit annoying about it. But I've played
it every night for the last three nights for
about 10 minutes. I am enjoying it because I
do like those kind of games. There's another
one, Deep Rock Galactic Survivor. That's a really
good one that I've been playing recently. That's
on Game Pass. You played Deep Rock Galactic before?
Never even heard of it. Okay, so Deep Rock Galactic
is a four -player cooperative. level mining things.
You go down dwarves mining on this planet. You
go down on dwarves. You go down on dwarves and
you mine them. And then you slowly enter the...
Yeah, so you all go together and you can have
different... One guy's really good at mining
and another guy's really good with a gun and
can shoot these bugs that come at you, basically.
And you've got to mine a lot of gems, take it
to the end, and then go down another level and
continue. That's what it is. Deep rock. Galactic
Survivor is a top -down version about you on
your own, like these other games. And you mine
stuff. Swarms of enemies coming, you level them
up. Rinse, repeat. Yeah, I'm into those kind
of games at the moment. That's a very good one.
Yeah, anyway, those are the three games I've
been playing. And I've re -listened to the first
three books of Bobby Verse. We spoke about it
before. Von Neumann, Probe, Replicating Himself,
Fighting Aliens. Finding New Species. Really,
really, really, really, really, really good.
If you like audiobooks and you like sci -fi,
listen to Bobbyverse. There's five of them. Apparently
he's writing a sixth one. Who knows? He doesn't
know when he's going to finish it. You shouldn't
rush people who do writing because they'll fucking
wreck it if you rush them. Anyway, that's it.
Right, so very quickly, I would like to do a
stream with you at some point. I'm not talking
about pissing together. That's exactly, we've
got to cross our streams. No, no, no, it's not
pee -pee. It's a game. I'd like us to do. Have
you ever heard of the game from the olden days
called the Oregon Trail? Yeah. So you went across
the United States to get from A to B and try
not to die from cholera. Yeah, I played it, yeah.
Well, there's a modern version. Okay. That I
own on my iPad that we can stream from. Okay,
cool. Called the Organ Trail. The Organ Trail.
And it's basically the Oregon Trail, your horse
and cart's replaced with an old knackered estate
wagon. Mm -hmm. And you are trying to get through
a zombified America. Oh, cool. And it's very,
very funny. It's very cool. And it's the sort
of thing that we can spend half an hour just
doing and then chatting away as we go. I had
a load on Steam that I've got in a special folder
for us to play that were meant to be Halloween
games. Well, you'd also got, thank goodness you're
here. Which you've never got room to play. Yeah,
you know what we're like. It's just us two finding
the time to play these games and stream, isn't
it? Damn you children! Gosh, us being grown -ups
and having to do things. Yeah. Well, that's it.
Next. Accessing library computer data. Moontrap
1989. 1989. What do you think? I love it because
I just do. It's 1988 cheesy goodness. 89? 88.
Oh, I thought INDB said it was 89. No, 1988.
And it's a parental guidance that went on for
one hour and 32 minutes. Maybe Google told me
it was 89. But yeah, INDB, 89. It depends on
when it was released and what country, I guess.
But either way, I really like it. It's a very...
It's not a good film by a long shot. Let's get
that out there. It is a cult enjoyable film because
of how it worked with its budget. It was low
budget, really low budget if you hadn't guessed.
The budget wasn't the issue I had with it. What
did you have a problem with then? No, you keep
talking and then we'll get on to what I think
about it. I think the... The story of it is very
simple, ladies and gents, if you didn't go and
watch it. Commander Chekov, before he was in
Starfleet, so Walter Thurning, got offered this
film after the Star Trek films in 88, obviously.
I believe if you read why he took the role, he
needed an extension. He claims he was interested
and thought it was an interesting way to go with
sci -fi. His pool had a leak and the pool man
gave him a quote that he just wasn't happy with
so he had to go do this. Very, very probable
at this point. So it revolves around Walter Koenig
and Bruce Campbell. They are hotshot NASA astronauts.
Bruce Campbell is Bruce Campbell in this. Bruce
Campbell is Bruce Campbell everywhere. Something
is picked up in space and brought back. That
something turns into a giant fucking robot. They
then decide to go for a little bit of a... Oh,
no, sorry. It's Walter and Bruce Campbell just
being little cowboys in space mucking about,
to be honest, at the beginning. It's like, yeah,
we don't have strict conditions to be astronauts.
We can just be as we are, pick up this thing,
take it back to Earth. Almost like it's like
a day trip. It's like, oh, we need to take the
old shuttle out again. Oh, yeah, there's the
keys. Just make sure you put fuel in it when
they bring it back. Don't leave it with the half
a tank again. Yeah, I kind of got that vibe too,
yeah. Yeah, the other shuttle was in the ocean
because of Yukons. It didn't have enough petrol
to get out there. Then they end up going back
to find out where this came from. They land on
the moon. They find a temple on the moon. Then
a giant fucking spaceship appears. And they find
a woman who... Rob will like this, ooh -la -pee
-pee -poo -poo woman who just doesn't speak English
and then they can't escape using an Uzi and then
it's all over. And the very final scene is we
see one of the alien robot pods in a junkyard,
I guess is what you'd call it. That is the story.
It's basically we find out that man has existed
a lot longer and that there were aliens on the
moon and blah, blah, blah. Mm -hmm. Go on, you
hated it. I can tell you hated it. So just go
on. Look, look, look. Hate is not the word I'd
use for it. Did I enjoy it? Was it a tough wank?
Yes, I know. Yeah, it was a really difficult
wank. Even when the tits were out on two occasions,
it was a tough wank. Look, there were definitely
parts about the film I was actually quite impressed
with and enjoyed. I found bits funny that were
not meant to be funny and bits not funny which
were meant to be funny. I had definitely got
my wires crossed when watching this film. I sat
there asking myself, is this a comedy? Because
I genuinely couldn't tell in the first few minutes.
I was like, is this meant to be funny? Yeah,
I mean, we're going to go for cons and the weak
stuff first then. So yeah, it was a shoestring
budget. It didn't bother me. Some of it you can
easily tell. Can I, before you get into that,
I'm going to say one thing that this film does
very well, which films nowadays do not do. They
used real science with some of it. Yes. The audio.
You can't hear anything in space. Every time
they're in a vacuum of space, there is no sound.
The machine guns make no sound. Now, they line
up some music with the machine guns in one part
and make the music sound machine gunny, which
actually I didn't like because it kind of implied
that it was making a sound. But there's a really
interesting bit where there is, he puts up a
fucking igloo. A spongy igloo. Don't get me started
about that scene. That fucking annoyed me, that
scene. So he gets out of his pocket a spongy
igloo that appears out of nowhere, right? That's
a believable piece of science that that thing
came out of that box. I'm kind of joking about
it, but actually that... Realistically, if we
were at the point that we were meant to be in
this film and that we've got kit like that, then
you'd expect it to be. And in fact, if you look
at films like The Martian, all of that base that's
on Mars is basically... inflatable domes that
are all interconnected i i did that this is a
budget constraint the door to get in that bullshit
there's no way that's creating any kind of atmospheric
pressure but when he's in there and he starts
firing his gun it makes a noise until the seal
is broken and then suddenly the sound cuts off
because suddenly there's no pressure that what
a touch when he uses the machine gun to shoot
his way away from the ship No sound. Every time
they're in space, the only sound the film is
giving you is the music, which my issue with
the music is not that the music was bad. It was
too loud through the entire film. Whoever put
the music up, they put it up to nine. It should
have been on six. Do you know what I mean? It
completely ruined a lot of the atmosphere, the
music, because it was just too fucking loud.
just calm it down a bit that annoyed me uh sorry
to say every single actor in that film needs
to go back to acting school for a bit they were
all bad every one of them was bad i've got um
the woman was the most now in her defense she
was probably told to act this way But have I
ever seen anyone so fucking wooden without walking
through a forest? I've no idea. Dialogue and
acting. Clunky lines, which there absolutely
were. Lots of exposition. Oh, yeah. Got to tell
a story, even though we're literally watching
the fucking story. Yeah. And some very wooden
delivery. Oh, just, ugh. You can't, the thing
is. Bruce Campbell was doing Bruce Campbell through
that. So if you know what he's like, that's it.
Well, he was straight out of Evil Dead 2 at this
point. You're getting that. So I knew what I
was going to get with him. Everyone else, I was
literally watching it flabbergasted that this
film was being made with these actors because
they were all terrible. Yeah. Okay. Now, the
Cylon, because that's what it basically was,
a fucking Cylon. It looked just like one. I thought
it was great. So, right, hang on. It was funny,
but great. Yeah, because again, one of my notes
here I've got is the... When the arm comes up,
I laughed my head off. Tone confusion. Bounces
between horror, action and goofy. Yeah. Never
commits. Yeah, yeah, you're right. It doesn't
know what it is. So... Okay, going with the robot.
The first robot we see then is they bring the
pod back and it tears apart the medical examination
room. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then they've got
it in there. And I just love the scientist. No,
don't shoot. We must make contact. Get shot.
Well, I can't even think of what he says. Oh,
I didn't write that one down. I think it's either...
He does say fuck or shit, even though it's a
PG. And then you get... What is it? We don't
take no shit from machines. Yeah. As Walter Koenig...
shotguns him from above through the air vents
yeah it was it's a great robot though yeah it
as I said if you know what a Cylon looks like
you know what this robot is but when it first
like was getting its body built And it had like,
you know, those grabby arm machines that you
get in arcades. It basically was one of those
it had in its arm. And it just kind of appeared
from behind a plinth. It's like, and this arm
just comes up this three point. And I laughed
out loud when I watched that because that was
genuinely funny. That wasn't meant to be funny,
which is why I found it funny. Because like,
they're trying to go for something there. Failed
miserably. 100%. Absolutely failed that bit.
But yeah, the creatures were completely believable.
They were being built out of... As Walter Koenig
says, my God, that's what we are, spare parts.
And I still think as comical as it is, and it
is a comical scene, and I think it was partly
designed to be comical, but when the moon robot
looks through the window of the tent just before
he... opens fire with his space uzi the fact
that it is you can just clearly see it's meant
to be one of the robots and it's literally peeled
bruce campbell's face off and it's a brilliant
touch it's really dark that was really actually
quite fucked up and it was doing the bruce campbell
face like other people can't see that but yeah
doing that but there was no need for it to have
done that really no because none of the others
do that none of the other robots have got what
There's a bit where they're inside the alien
spaceship and the one that comes down that tries
to... Which is chopping them up. Did you notice
in the head it looked like there was a brain
in there? Yeah. Yeah, I noticed it looked like
there was a human's brain inside it. Or a brain.
But that's what I kind of liked about this, actually.
The idea of these... technically they're cyborgs
aren't they a robot that's made out of human
plus mechanical is cyborg i really like the idea
of and i think actually it was they were very
cleverly done and okay it does look a bit clunky
nowadays you've got the practical effects of
when you've got the two of them holding the dolls
that have been dressed up in an astronaut costume
and walking across the moon holding them yeah
and they've suddenly become like 40 foot tall
things it's like not sure what happened in that
scene we'll watch over that one that's a few
bits like that it's like They had ideas, didn't
quite make it. It's okay, they tried. Let's go,
let's continue. Yeah, and I mean, we're sticking
with the negatives again. Like we said with Star
Trek earlier, the pacing is off. Yeah. It goes
from fast kind of what's going on to then this
slow. Something is not right with it on the pacing
side. And I kind of, it does throw you off a
little bit. And that ties in with the not committing
to what type of film it wanted to be. It could
have been a horror. Wanting to keep that PG status
means you can't go that horror with it at that
point. It's difficult. I want to tell you about
my least favourite bit of the entire film, which
was then instantly joined with one of my favourite
bits. Instantly. So I'm going to read my notes
and you're going to guess what bit I'm talking
about. Okay. What a fucking death scene. Take
no shit from machine. Manic laughter. As if that
tent is air sealed. If they fuck, this is going
to be so fucking dumb. That kiss, dumb. Tits
again, dumb. That's awkward. His mate's dead.
Five minutes later, he's shagging. Ha! that face
now what am I talking about Bruce Campbell going
so I'm talking about his mate just died and he
solemnly walks back puts the tent in then shags
the woman yep and then he gets attacked by Bruce
Campbell by the way we've got to say he's wearing
an ancient space suit who's wearing a 14 000
as we kept being reminded 14 000 year old spacesuit
what is like that voyager f threshold this film's
threshold was the 14 000 i was gonna do a little
quiz for this one and be like oh we haven't done
that in ages this was what i was going to bring
it back and my first question was how many years
i started writing questions like the amount of
time they said 14 000 i give up I mean, as I
said, I thought the design of the robots was
good. The design of the ship is really good.
Yeah, yeah, I'm good with that. And the bits,
again, questionable. Why have they got Uzis?
Why would you equip the weapon of choice being
the automatic pistol? I don't know. It's a very,
very odd choice. Let me tell you what. So when
the Cylon was first made and he's walking down
the hallway and then that guy who I thought was
going to get instantly killed. Somehow didn't
get killed, but he got attacked instantly. I
thought it was going to be, they're looking up
at the ceiling and they could see the, they're
trying to figure out how to kill this guy because
they're shooting it with every weapon they've
got. By the way, he wasn't made out of bulletproof
material. He was made out of metal that he found
in their office. So he would definitely have
been blown up from all those guns. That bit,
I thought, okay, creative license here. It's
a film. Let's just move on. They look up at the
ceiling, Bruce Campbell and Chekhov. Look up
at the ceiling. and they see the sprinkler system.
And I go, of course. Just get him wet. Get him
wet, electrocute him. That makes total sense
to me. He'll rust. Whatever. That's a plot point
I can understand. You've got to confuse with
gremlins. We can't get them wet. I know that
rule at this point in time. What's the time?
What's the time? Quickly, give him something
to eat. And I was like, okay, that's what they're
going to do. And then I was looking and thinking,
well, actually, there's a lot of smoke in this
room already. So those... Fire alarm should already
be going off, which it wasn't. Well, it turns
out Chekhov's idea, even though we're looking
at the pipe with the war thing, is actually to
crawl through the vents, struggle with a very
light bit of metal, by the way, and then point
blank shotgun the robot in the head. And I was
like, okay, so that's a way of doing it. But
it's a great shot that they get of its head exploding
when he blows up. Really well done. Well, they
disintegrated it, basically. But it looked really
good. As you say, every negative you find, somewhere
nearby is a positive. Yeah, all the bits with
the robot. I like the robot going, zipping around
in the moon dust. I thought that was pretty sweet.
That was very cool. I quite liked that. See,
I quite liked the robot that they had in the
spaceship that literally just starts cutting
the clothes off them. Yeah, the slowest torture
robot ever. It instantly went for her clothes.
It wasn't actually taking her body bits off.
It's PG, ladies and gents. We don't have a 12
or a 15 at this point. We only have PG and R
rating. Yeah, but in PG's now, you wouldn't get
full -on tits. No, it'd be a 12. Well, 12A. And
they were in a strip club as well at the beginning,
by the way. So you see a woman with no top on
then doing a dance in the titty bar. That's very
true. And then you get a full on, I mean, the
woman's very attractive. It was a nice watch.
I'm not going to complain about that. But Jesus
Christ, she was boring. And it was so awkward
too. Oh, the kiss was awful to watch. I just
felt awful just sat there watching him. And her.
So I showed you a clip of this. And if you go
onto my TikTok, we'll try and put it in the metadata
so you can get the link to it. Moontrap Target
Earth came out in 2017, which is the sequel to
this film. I mean, tits are in that. It has nothing
to do with this film. In fact, it has very little
to do with anything that this film creates at
all. And it's by the same fucking director. And
he didn't even follow. How? I mean. You just
take the name. yeah you know i've got to re -watch
it probably does have something to do with it
but it's full of masons and stuff like that and
if anything the effects are worse as that clip
will show you and you you saw that clip last
but it looked like basically someone had just
gone okay keyframe slide it in keyframe press
play and then it comes um just ridiculous absolutely
ridiculous um how he didn't even continue because
it was set up for a perfect sequel that pod at
the end in the junkyard and just thought even
if that had made a bit of money you could have
done a really good sequel with it being based
on earth yeah that would have worked brilliant
and you could have actually just centered it
around this junkyard like one of these junkyards
in america that's just on acres of land and it's
slowly taking over this this junkyard and you
could have it as like the person that owns the
junkyard and his family take on this fucking
monster yeah uh spoilers this is actually a prequel
to transformers and that's how they get there
very good yeah yeah not enough lens flare though
for michael bay oh yeah not enough for him uh
there was a scene that i again i laughed at where
the miniatures are quite good the miniatures
of the spaceships we got the guy i thought they
were very good yeah the guy orbiting when they've
gone back to the moon for the second time. He's
going around, and then his ship gets attacked.
He gets zapped, and then instantly he just goes
off axis. The key frame is that suddenly he's
off axis and just floats down. I'm like, that's
fucking awful. The really crap lightning bolt
that hits it and goes like this, and off he goes.
And they just suddenly tilted the miniature by
like 30 degrees, didn't they, instantly. So clearly
they didn't do anything. They just rotated the
fucking film. Because he kind of then continued
on in the... It's so bad. Yeah, that was awful.
I was like, come on, you didn't try. They thought
about it afterwards. They go, ooh, shouldn't
we make this ship look like it reacted to that
lightning bolt? Oh, yeah, fuck it, just spin
it 30 degrees. I mean, it could have been worse.
They could have just turned the interior lights
off. Oh, no, I've got no power. Yeah, well, they
might as well have done that too. And then, you
know, lo and behold, they were waiting 14 ,000
years for someone to land on the moon again because
a specific piece of technology they needed was
on a moon lander. Oh, of course, yes, they needed...
I just... Yeah, the one thing they needed for
their giant ship, and I'm guessing was it to
power the giant ship? They never explain it,
and that's one of the other problems with this
film is nothing is ever fully explained. What
would have been better if actually it was them
going back to the moon reactivated the robots?
They were dormant. Yes. And them going back and
then going into that weird tower thing where
the stupid woman is. is what activates them.
And then they just happen to attach the moon
lander to their ship because that's what they
do. That is much better than we needed that very
specific piece of technology in the moon lander.
I was like, what's on it? What's on the fucking
moon lander that you need? Well, yeah, again,
it's never explained. It's got a computer in
its brain. Maybe they didn't know how to make
computers, so they're using the computer of the
moon lander. I always just presumed, was it something
like they would... Messing around with the idea
that it had like a nuclear battery or something.
Was it just that they needed power? But how would
a little moon lander's battery power that great
big giant ship? It made a pretty fucking big
explosion with a massive bit that says detonator.
Inside the control panel. Yeah, so that's on
the moon lander itself, isn't it? They've got
a nuke on board, apparently, to make sure no
one steals it. So we'll just detonate the nuke
that's included. Which actually kind of makes
sense for the era that it was made. Don't forget,
this is 80s film. Depending on when the director
started working on it, could have started working
in the late 70s. So we're still at the end, or
coming towards the end of what was the Cold War.
Yeah. So a lot of writers went down the line
of, if we create something that is space, then
we would have a way of destroying it because
obviously we don't want it to land into the hands
of the Russians. And that's all from real life.
If you look at World War II, when our British
bombers crashed, if they were taken out by the
Germans, the surviving crew's jobs were to smash
every single dial. bit of equipment and torch
the aircraft so that the Germans couldn't get
their hands on our technology. Well, they do
that in Dunkirk. Not Dunkirk. What's the one
when all the boats come over to collect everybody?
Is that Dunkirk? Yes, Dunkirk. Yeah, he does
that when he crashes his Spitfire. At the end,
he sits on fire, doesn't he? Exactly. Then he
gets captured. It's taken from real life. To
take it into sci -fi, then yeah, I guess you're
talking about the great space race and everything
like that and Cold War. You're not going to want
Russia getting hold of it. So it kind of makes
sense that you'd have some way of destroying
it. And in space, I guess, what would you do?
An explosive device kind of makes sense. There's
a little moment, you know, when he does kill
the creature that's killed his mate. And he does
the son of a bitch quote, like it's from Jaws.
And I did actually go and then check when Jaws
come out. I was like, yeah, Jaws come out in
75. I think they're clearly trying to have that
moment here. What makes me laugh about all of
it, it's just like, is this Walter Koerner going,
Chekhov was never allowed to be rude or do anything
cool. So this is his chance. But he doesn't come
off cool. No, he doesn't. It's like when he's
doing the press ups versus his son, all you think
is. competitive dad and you're a dick yeah you're
a knob but so I think that I don't think it's
a particularly good film but I also don't think
it's a particularly bad film I think that maybe
you like it as much I'm just putting this out
here that maybe you like as much as you do because
you've got a nostalgic remembering of it so yeah
I don't have that I'm blinded by nostalgia for
it absolutely I like it because I think actually
as sci -fi goes it's quite a good idea it's just
a shame it's not applied in a better way but
you could take the premise of the film and do
it now modern you could do really well with it
actually yeah the idea of the film is isn't bad
i i think i give credit where credit's due the
miniatures whilst they looked a bit funny sometimes
they were very good that i liked the alien i
really did think that whoever did the advising
on the science aspect of it did a great job that
really i can't iterate enough that sound not
being there i because it took me a little while
to notice to be doing that back then i think
that is brilliant and that that is why that's
where we were giving credit but i think the film
overall my opinion of it is not very good i didn't
really enjoy it there were moments i enjoyed
but overall i was a bit like Fucking hell. No,
fair enough. Especially when he shagged that
fucking woman. That really did me in. How would
I fix it? I mean, I could... If I was doing a
modern version of it, there's quite a lot you
need to fix annoyingly, but you could. Obviously,
you wouldn't have them such space cowboys. I
guess what you'd have is probably... Chris Pratt
would be in it. I would suggest that the big
ship that's kind of been abandoned, awaiting
to come to life, would be behind the moon out
of view. So we've never seen it because it's
just always on the dark side of the moon. We've
never seen it because it's just blocked by our
own satellite. I would have that as it's 14 ,000
years old, and I'd make sure we say 14 ,000 years
old because 14 ,000 years old is really important
to the story. Yeah, 14 ,000. But the 14 ,000
-year -old ship would start to break apart and
a big chunk of it would just land. on on earth
yeah we'd investigate we'd find this pod thing
and obviously it comes like and then that's where
you take it from there so then we send someone
to go and investigate it we land on the moon
temple scene you could actually leave the temple
on there you could have it just verging into
the dark side of the moon so it's not something
that we we've easily seen and i guess in fact
you wouldn't technically i wouldn't have the
temple i'd have another crashed ship because
the idea is if we've got this giant ship already
and we've got a 14 000 i'd have another crashed
ship and a bit like aliens some sort of cryosa
and you just all of them are dead bar one now
or they need biomaterial to fuel stuff which
is why they couldn't leave the moon and that's
why that woman's still there in stasis because
they're keep trying to keep her alive to drain
her energy to keep them on low power for 14 000
years But they can't lift their ship off because
they need more biological material. Yeah. And
then people coming to the moon, maybe the first
trip of people coming to the moon, those people
get captured and turned into mush. And the ship
can boot up because they've got enough energy
from these people turning to mush. Yeah, and
they end up on C colon and they can type win
and Windows 95 boots up. But no, I agree. And
then you have... The whole battle with them on
the moon just between... Again, it's a bit odd
that they only send two astronauts up. Yeah.
We're talking about things going back in the
film. So you'd have a crew that would go up and
then you'd have them actually discover the robots,
discover the woman. The crew would get broken
down to maybe the last one or two people. Some
weird survival woman. There's no need to shag
her. It's not the 80s. It's just not the done
thing anymore. She can't consent. She can't ask
for a cup of tea. She doesn't speak English.
Moon trap. More like booby trap. Booby trap.
Because there's all the boobs in it. Booby. Transfer
complete. Right. Next time, we're going slightly
more modern. Hang on a moment. Let's see if they
can guess it from this hint. According to the
Exploding Helicopter website, this film features
13 exploding helicopters, the most ever seen
in any one film. Do you know the film we're talking
about, ladies and gentlemen? Do you? It's 2024's
smash hit, Alien colon Rubicon. I saw this as
a trailer on Amazon Prime. and i watched it and
miranda and i both went this looks dreadful i
instantly texted to tj said shall we watch this
next time 2 .4 on imdb yeah and the first review
worst movie i've seen this century no that's
gonna be a good one because we've watched amazon's
war of the worlds so i don't think it'll be the
worst one we'll have seen this century but Who
knows? I don't think the trailer looked enough
to say it's the worst film ever. It looks bad.
It looks atrocious, but sorry, terrible acting
like really bad. Reading the pack of soap bottles
and other things when you're sat on the toilet
is more entertaining than this. Oh, yeah. Can't
review it with a zero score. Yeah, it's... Massive
swing and a miss. So it's a film by The Asylum,
which if you've listened to The Variety Show
recently, you'll know are one of these companies
that make mockbusters. So any film that does
well as a blockbuster will get a mockbuster.
And this is just their version of Alien. To the
point where we thought it was another version
of Alien because of the picture. Well, I presume...
Oh, is this the sequel to Alien Romulus? So this
is going to be Alien Rubicon? Because I'm pretty
sure it wasn't... Oh, no, it's Romulus and Remus,
actually. Yeah. So I presume when you said, oh,
have you seen this trailer? Do you want us to
do this for the show? I thought, oh, brilliant.
That's the next alien that they were talking
about. Oh, so disappointed. I generally thought
it was going to be anime. When I just saw the
picture, I was like, oh, maybe it's going to
be some CGI or some anime to do with alien. I
thought this could be good. And then, yeah, we
clicked it. What's trans like this as an anime?
Oh, my God. Then again, then the other thoughts
that went through my mind as well is they still
make Rubicon the drink. Is this a Halloween one?
This is what happens when you have too many Rubicons.
This is why it has best before day. I thought
it was Halloween flavour. Oh, yeah. It'll be
a lime green Rubicon. Anyway, right. Alien Rubicon.
It's on Prime Video. That's where I saw it. I'm
assuming that's probably the only place. If you
happen to be subscribed, don't buy the bloody...
thing just don't give them money that's a bad
thing yeah um if you keep encouraging them they're
gonna keep doing it if we keep buying these bloody
movies i'll keep fucking making yeah it's only
streaming on prime at the moment otherwise you
have to rent or buy it yeah 2 .4 out of 10 amazon
i'm actually looking forward to it so that's
next time Oh, my God. I just realized as well,
just looking at that, the Alien Earth logo, the
front poster versus the Alien Rubicon poster.
We know what they were doing. We see you, Alien
Rubicon. Command functions are offline. And that's
it for another episode of the Untitled Sci -Fi
Show. I have been Rob. He over there, the lovely
man opposite me, has been Tom. Hello. Hello.
Is the show starting? We did do an introduction.
Did we? It's just I quickly pressed record while
you were on your cucumber tirade. That's true,
isn't it? It's before I said just slide it out
of your Wi -Fi so slightly. That's the one. We
are part of a collection of indie podcasts called
Studio Channel 84, which is the variety show
with these lovely chaps. Not sure what their
names are. Bob and Dave. John and Phil. Jimothy.
Jimothy. And James, Super8az, Karen and Adam
from Lightly Used, Ross and Simon. I did it that
way around this time. Who takes the socks off?
You can find everyone's links, everyone's details,
everyone's whatever's on channel84 .co .uk. Please
do send in your guesses and what you think the
connection is for... this episode's guess the
intro i do really like seeing everyone's guesses
when they send them in any interaction is always
brilliant please do we do reply we enjoy it it's
great fun um welcome james to the again to the
uh winner's lounge i'll put the kettle on love
you all bye Thank you for listening to the Untitled
Sci -Fi Show. This station is now shutting down
and will be back in two weeks. May the Force
live long and prosper inside of you. Tune in
this Sunday with Simon and Is It Garage?