Can you hear me? Can you hear me, Jake? In a
response to normal. It was so strange hearing
Shepard's voice in the mouth of that creature
last night. This is as far as you go, no matter
what I do. This is as far as you ever make it.
A still suit is a high -efficiency filtration
system. What we are... What are we? Man, why
do I gotta be the guy who tells the kids there's
no Santa Claus? Put the phone down. Oh, fuck
me. Bosh. Press record. Bish bash bosh. Bish
bash bosh. Hello and welcome to the Untitled
Sci -Fi Show. With me, Rob, and you... Tom, hello.
First time I've ever done that. It is. Copying
the Variety Show. Yeah, don't get used to that,
everyone. We've got lots to talk about this week.
We've got what's TJ been up to? Not very much.
What's Rob been up to? Lots. Switch to conversations
and then apparently we'll watch some film. I
really wish we didn't. Ready? Let's do this.
This is perplexing. Is it? Is it? I don't know
why you always insist on whispering and spelling
that. Right, guess the intro, which I handily
left out of that. What are we doing? Okay, can
I just point out, we've got a Lego box here.
It's the Minecraft village from the Minecraft
movie. Why does it look like John Wick's on the
back? I know that's meant to be... Steve? No,
it's meant to be... That? That's not meant to
be Steve. Yeah, that's Jack Black as Steve. Why
didn't they make the character a little bit fatter?
I know it's a Lego character, but we ever...
Oh, they have, he's got a little paunch, little
drawn, little... Oh, a little drawn on one. Yeah,
because they don't actually make them fat, do
they? Yeah, there's been Lego characters that
they've put a little bulge on. Oh, have they?
Oh, they've just drawn on one. Maybe he asked
them to. One thing I think is weird, though,
like, this is not very good for an audio medium,
they have two faces. Because their hair comes
down the back, they've been able to print two
faces on, so they get two different expressions.
You can turn their head around. Oh, that's quite
cool. So, like, there's the angry one, and then
slightly less angry one. Right. And then, look,
she's got her mouth open there, and then here
she's like, oh, a bit scared. I like that. That's
cool. It still doesn't look like Steve from Minecraft.
It looks like John Wick. It looks like John Wick,
absolutely. Or, in fact, it might even look like
the Winter Soldier. So, it's funny. So, we went
to Trafford Centre, T and I, and... We both wanted
to get the Creeper Lego. It's quite well -priced.
You know, one of their bigger ones for £30. And
now I say well -priced. That's well -priced for
fucking Lego. Lego is expensive. Oh, 100%. We
were both gutted they didn't have it. But it
had only come out, like, two days before. And
they, like, Dan had said the same thing to me.
He's like, it's new. It's going to go. And then
the store, they're like, oh, yeah, it's a new
set. It's just disappeared. You know, what can
I do? And so, okay, so we were both a bit disappointed.
And then we saw... Other Lego sets for specifically
Minecraft. This one's got... So I brought one
and he brought one. Because I wanted him to be
able to have every character. And then I quite
liked what was in this one. So this one's got
the chicken shop for the Lava Chicken song. And
it's got a ghast that shoots stuff. Which I really
liked that. So we've actually both built that
one together already. And the other one is just
here. This is the fight scene. So you've got
the chicken jockey and you've got the big pig
monster. And then this is meant to be... Sorry,
everyone. This is just for TJ, really, this bit.
This is meant to be like the castle bit where
the lad's running around in. Yeah, I know. When
he's trying to find all the bits. Where the Enderman
comes and gets him. But he doesn't have an Enderman
in it. Odd. They could easily have just put a
little Enderman in here. They could have, but
then they wouldn't be able to charge for an Enderman.
Yeah, they have a big Enderman you make. I think
there's like an Enderman set where there's like
a thing of a yay high. For Minecraft lore, maybe
you build it and you wait and every now and then
one fades in and then disappears out to another
child's house. But this one had Garbage Man in
and we both really like Garbage Man. So he brought
this one with his pocket money. So this is the
first proper purchase he's ever made in his life
with pocket money. Oh, well, that's awesome.
Which is nice. And we're taking some. I'm changing
some of the dollars for him. You know, we haven't
actually spoken. You've finally seen the Minecraft
movie. We haven't spoken about it on any of the
shows. It's on my list of things to talk about.
Oh, okay. In my section. No, fine. But I haven't
seen every single piece of it, as you know what
it's like when you watch films with children.
So, anyway, this is the guestly intro section,
everyone. So, how do you think you got on before
I actually get into it? Badly. Yeah, no one got
it. A particular person, naming no names, missed
two. Right, okay. So that was disappointing,
and I think they were trying, and they just couldn't
get them. One of them is particularly difficult,
I will say that. But also, I was a bit naughty,
and one clip is cut in half and played at the
beginning and the end. I bookshelfed the, whatever
it's called, the entire thing in between one.
Because I sent you a little list, and then said,
wait, hang on, are you being a cheeky fuck? Yeah,
yeah. Well, it's a very long scene that I didn't
want to cut out. Well, no, because it's a good
scene. And it's quite a coolly bit, so I'm just
getting my notes ready because I've got to flip
between the two bits. Don't forget to unmute.
And unmute that. Let's unmute that now. Thank
you very much. Are we ready? We'll get started.
Yep. Off we go. When a man's an empty cattle,
he should be on his metal. And yet I'm torn apart.
Okay, that's a first one. So that's Bicentennial
Man. It is Bicentennial Man, absolutely. So that's
the bit where Robin Williams' robot, or whatever
you want to call him, I don't even, what is he?
I don't remember his name. An android, is it?
He still is, yeah, yeah. Yeah, but that's when
he meets, the first time he meets the female
android that the other person's got, or whatever
it is. Well, no, he's already met them, but they're
building organic. Parts, specifically a heart.
It's that bit where they're building the heart.
Yes, yes, yes. And he's the doctor. He plays
the bloke that's building it. It's quite a chubby
bloke, isn't it? He is like doctor, whatever
his name is. He plays a psychiatrist in one of
the new medical dramas now. Oh, is he? But yes,
that's right. Bicentennial, man. Okey -doke.
Very few of us here are actually mentally ill.
I'm not saying you're not mentally ill. After
all, I know you're crazy as a loon. See, I thought
this was 12 Monkeys. you think it's 12 monkeys
because it is 12 months yeah so that's brad pitt
and if i'm honest it's i think one of his if
not his best performance in any film yeah he's
great god it's i have not watched that film in
years and years and years that when i was like
i'm gonna do it but i was like i can't remember
which bit i even want to do what bit's gonna
be memorable so i was like okay well i'm just
gonna pick a brad pitt bit i mean it's terry
gilliam isn't it that that did the film and it's
very very typical of his style but it's such
a good film i've not watched the tv series that
they recently did because the film for me is
just so solid but yeah 12 monkeys okay well sorry
they're very close together these so the hyperdrive
generator was the bit Yeah, I didn't get that
one. Unless it's something like Men in Black
and the little weird sausage alien things. No,
I'm surprised you didn't get that. I'm surprised
that no one really got that. It's Phantom Menace.
That's, yeah, Watto, whatever his name is, talking
to, I think he's talking to Qui -Gon Jinn. Don't
forget, I think I can count the number of times
I've seen episode one on one hand. I would say
I saw it at the cinema. And I may have seen it
twice since. Well, I thought he was quite a well
-known character in it, though. Yeah, but don't
forget, I saw it in 98 when it came out. And
then probably not too long after that, I would
have seen it the second and third time. I've
not seen it in years. I couldn't even really
tell you much about the film anymore. Well, we
are going to watch that at one point. Right,
next one. Sometimes I suspect I'm not who I think
I am. Like maybe I died a long time ago and somebody
took my brain and stuck it in this body. So is
that Ghost in the Shell? It is Ghost in the Shell.
Well done. Yeah, it's just because the whole,
it's the quote, it's the perfect quote to have
chosen for that film. Yeah, it was really difficult
to get one for it because it was all like action
scenes and stuff when I was hunting around for
clips and things. So getting actual quotes for
it was quite difficult. What did you make the
modern remake of that? With Scarlett Johansson.
Is it Scarlett Johansson? Yeah, it is. I didn't
dislike it. I thought it was nicely done. It
looked the part. I can completely understand
why people didn't like her to play it. They wanted
someone who was ethnically... I don't know how
I should say it. It should have been more fitting
to the manga original. It should have been, but
at the same time, I did think it was still good,
and she played the part well. Yeah. I don't know
what to say about it. I didn't dislike it, you
know. Next one. Okay. You're implying that a
group composed entirely of female animals will
breed? Well, that's Jurassic Park, isn't it?
Jurassic Park. Of course it is. I've only missed
one so far. Yeah, you missed the next one. Did
I? This isn't part of my program. I'm a doctor,
not a doorstop. That's Voyager. Yeah, but that's
not what it's from. Oh my God, you prick. You
absolute cocksucker. That's first contact, isn't
it? Yes. You absolute knob jockey. I knew I'd
get you with it. I knew I was like, I'm going
to fuck him up. Of course. And that's one of
my favourite, if not my favourite Star Trek film.
It's a great scene too. It is brilliant. It's
like Borg just about to burst through that door.
Delay them, but I'm a doctor. Yeah, a doctor,
another doorstop. Yeah, oh, very good. And then,
of course, we round it off with... The other,
the end of that scene. Yeah, over on the rack.
Thank you. Yeah, I love that bit. It's a really
great bit in the film. Very good. And it's all
like... It's a great gag and it's off screen
too. Yeah. Yeah, very funny. So well done to
absolutely nobody. Nobody got them all. You missed
two. Somebody else missed two. No, don't fuck
off. Oh, I just whacked the microphone just as
I pressed record there. Okay, right, let's mute
that. Right, go on then. What have you been up
to? Nothing? Great. If we know what's going to
happen with Men in Black International, we need
to pad this. Yeah, that's where we've got a whole
other section in between. So I've installed Sniper
Elite Resistance. And just like the last one,
I started the first mission and then lost about
two hours of my life to it. It's just wonderful.
Really good. Looks gorgeous. can't help but enjoy
these slow motion scenes as a bullet ricochets
through a nazi's head and you see all their bones
shattered all of that the x -ray side of it i
think they it's called x -ray i don't know if
that's part of like is it mortal combat i think
mortal combat called them x -rays yeah so i don't
know if it's all the same graphics engine now
and it's all all shared and that's why it's called
neck anyway it just looks really good and it
plays nicely i'm just i'm really taken with it
it's just a solid series of games. Is it just
like the one we played together, just new? Same
engine, everything looks the same. Yeah, same
engine, looks the same, maybe a little bit more
polish on it, just a whole different series of
maps. Now, the thing is, there were maps in that
last one that we played, I think that was Sniper
Elite 5. It was either 5 or 6, whichever one
it was before Resistance. And the maps on there
are just immense. Once you've gone through a
couple of parts of the mission and the whole
map unlocks... I was spending hours just slowly
walking through undergrowth, through woods, finding
every extent of the map you could. And it's just
amazing. You can just walk around and it's just
been beautifully all planned out. There's a couple
of missions on there where you're in a town.
And it feels like a real town. There's just roads
that lead off to places with shop fronts and
houses. bombing areas that you can then climb
up it just all felt really really immersive so
it's really good so i'm really pleased with that
i've played a bit more heldovers and obviously
we chatted about that last time and uh the illuminate
are gone now although apparently they're back
okay and i saw that some bug planets have got
settlements on them now too yeah so it sounds
like they're starting to do this by the way when
you land on this planet there's going to be two
sets of enemies you've got to go up against so
that's going to be an interesting one you said
that a long time ago you wanted that yeah because
i think that's a good way of doing it um maybe
make the map ever so slightly bigger and then
you have attacking from both sides you've got
a decision which way do we go because if we go
that way they're going to be behind us but if
we go that way they'll be behind us what do you
reckon about having all three baddies on one
planet like a big final hurrah war everyone's
met up but i imagine super earth where you've
got all of them have got to super at the same
time and you're on super defending it from all
of them i must admit it was fun doing super earth
with the illuminate on there yeah i think i would
have quite liked to have seen super earth with
the uh cybers on yeah i think the bots on there
would have been really cool to see because some
of their Seeing one of the walkers coming through
the streets would have been phenomenal. Yeah,
that would have been cool. So there's quite a
lot to that I would have liked to see. Who knows?
We don't know what's coming. I mean, we might
end up at Cyberstan at some point. Again, very
cool. Right, Murderbot, I've caught up on that.
Although what I really hate on Apple TV is new
episodes every Friday, what they mean is by American
Friday. So you're caught up to the episode that
I am, which was last week's. So did your episode
end with an explosion? Yes. Yeah. So that's last
week's Friday. Oh, that's a shame. So I don't
know what time it will click in, but at some
point this evening, there'll be a new episode.
And I love it. Wait, tomorrow? Well, no, probably
tonight. It will probably click in tonight. As
America comes online, it depends where in America...
It's Thursday, though. Oh, yeah, good point.
I keep thinking it's Friday today. Ignore me.
We're recording. It's Thursday. As you're listening,
it's Monday or after. Oh, well, that probably
will while we haven't got it then. So ignore
all of that. That's just me being an idiot. So
I, from your recommendation, started watching
today and then I was hooked on it. Watched every
single episode today. Binged it on my own today.
They're quite short. They're 20... This is what
that's what I was just going to say. My big issue
with it is it's a 24 minute episode. You lose
two minutes of that to the titles. And it just
feels like you suddenly you get to that point.
I'm really into this. This is so good. And then
it's the end of the bloody episode every time.
Yeah. And they are little cliffhangers every
episode. I really would like to watch The Rise
and Fall of Sanctuary Moon as its own show. Oh,
wouldn't it be amazing? That'd be good. So that's
like a fake sci -fi show within Murderbot. It's
basically, I tell you what, so this is done by
Paramount Murderbot. I don't know if you saw
that. No, I didn't. It's actually Paramount Studios.
Okay. So you've got to imagine that they've probably
had some input from the Star Trek people, if
not some of their Star Trek people working on
this. And I tell you what, As much as it's meant
to be a play on Star Trek, they're definitely
ripping the piss out of Discovery in that. Oh,
absolutely. It's Discovery purely with all the
weird stuff going on that they've chosen to.
I just really like the acting in it. Every one
of them. Feels like the character you're expecting
them to be. The show's just been, the story seems
good so far. I'm just hoping it doesn't end in
a bad way. I'm hoping the story stays getting
stronger and stronger. I think it really is just,
yeah, the length of time the episodes are, that
disappoints me the most. It's like, why can't
it be a bit longer? Yeah, because what we've
watched five episodes, that's basically the length
of a film. Yeah. Essentially. 100%. Yeah, it'd
be great if they were a bit longer. Anything
else? Well, I'm just joking here. Yeah, one other
thing. I re -watched Independence Day Resurgence
today. Oh, yes, you did. We spoke about this.
I said you've got Stockholm Syndrome. So, I remember
when that came out and I saw it at the cinema.
And I let myself be swayed by the critics, I
think, because I went in there thinking this
is going to be shit. And I came out thinking
it was shit. Then I rewatched it with Jem when
it came to streaming. And I said, oh, it's shit.
But she said, oh, we might as well watch it because
I enjoyed the first one. And we both came away
saying it was shit. But in the back of my mind,
I sat there kind of thinking, why am I saying
this is shit? re -watching it today i think this
is probably the third or fourth time i've watched
it now the story okay the story isn't wonderful
but it isn't any worse than the story from the
first film yeah the thing that i would pinpoint
maybe is the worst bit on it is the fact that
okay the cgi aliens don't look anywhere near
as good as the practical effects aliens we got
in the first one but when you do get the practical
aliens they look just as good yeah And there's
just a couple of moments in it. So you remember
the aliens from the first one. They're in their
little bodysuit, crack open, there's a little
alien driving it around, yeah? So the premise
of this is those are smaller ships, and then
there's also something called a harvester, which
is even fucking bigger. I mean, the top of our
globe sort of size. And it comes and it clamps
onto your planet, drills in, sucks out your molten
core, and off it goes. And that's led by what
they call a harvester queen. And the Harvester
Queen is basically the size of like the Empire
State Building when she's in her mech suit. So
they've just basically gone, right, take the
alien and make it really big. And it just looked
really good. And they even give the alien queen
its own sort of like rifle that it runs around
shooting with. And it's just been a lot. And
it just looked really good. I don't remember
this film. I wonder if I haven't seen it. I would
wonder if you've even seen it, because so many
people say, oh, I'm not watching that. I mean,
yeah, they didn't have Will Smith in it, which...
Turns out it's a positive thing nowadays. Apparently
he died when they were doing a test flight from
the new moon base. I kind of remember that aspect
of it, but I don't remember Kaiju. I think that's
because everyone was talking about it. And that's
what the story was leaked. Because everyone was
like, oh, there's no Will Smith in it. We don't
want to see it. And yeah, it was leaked that
he was meant to have died in testing something
out on the new moon base. Has it got everyone
else though? No, so it's got Bill Pullman still,
but he's still playing. The now ex -president.
Okay. It's got Data in it. Okay. Oh yeah, where
he was in the first one. So he dies in the first
one, but it turns out he's only in a coma. And
it's got Jeff Goldblum still. And Jeff Goldblum's
dad in it. Okay. So it's all the main characters
from the last one, really. And basically the
premise is that the Harvester gets alerted that
the ships have been destroyed. And it starts
heading for us. But then we're also visited by
another alien who's the last of its species.
Right. Coming to say that we have a refugee planet.
No one's ever defeated a harvester. We're here
to evacuate as many of you as you can. Yeah,
I haven't seen this. And we're teaching people
to fight back. But Earth being Earth blows them
out the sky. And it's... I think it's worth a
watch. So Earth blows up the second alien race
thinking they're baddies. Classic, classic Earth.
Yeah, good old Earth. You know, it deserves a
watch and it deserves to be watched with a fair
mind. Don't go into it like I did because actually
re -watching it now, excluding some of the CGI,
there's a lot of clever bits to it. For example,
the entire Earth has adopted... all of the um
alien technology so all the alien ships that
crashed are still there okay and we've been stripping
it and we've been learning so all the vehicles
you see like these new top of the range space
jet fighters are all powered by the same engines
that the alien ships has all their weapons are
powered by the alien weapons So they've taken
those bits, and that's exactly what you would
do. Yeah. You wouldn't just go, oh, well, we'll
just leave it. You would look at their technology
and go, well, if they're going to come back,
we should be able to fight them, and that's what
they've done. Yeah. So it's got not too bad a
premise. Yeah. So well worth watching. Okay.
What is that thing? See the core? Uh -huh. How
it keeps emitting convective energy across the
interior of the photosphere? Yeah, yeah, no,
see all the, see the photosphere bit? What have
you been up to? Me, little old me. So yeah, Murderbot,
which we've actually just spoken about, which
I've really enjoyed. We have now watched up to
Fallout of Mission Impossible. Okay. You were
totally right last time about the order of them.
I got it all fucked up. So we've now got the
one that is out on Netflix, which isn't, again,
I was wrong with this, is not the newest one.
It's just the newest one that isn't at the cinema.
dead reckoning or whatever yeah but wasn't this
the two parts a dead reckoning ends on a cliffhanger
and it's meant to carry on in the next one so
we haven't seen that so now i'm like well do
i actually not bother watching this until um
the next one is out on streaming platforms as
well but i know what will happen is that the
first part will come off of being free and suddenly
everyone want you to pay for it yeah because
they do that with fucking everything because
then the other one will be out for free and they
won't be offering you the first one because they
that's how they get you exactly but yeah i just
fucking love mission impossible i've got to say
it's just so cool and it's still going back to
the tv era i know it's still one of the best
intro music bits to tv yeah it's just classic
yeah uh clarkson's farm i don't care what anyone
thinks about him i love that show and i was literally
like for one reason they let like i think they
look like four episodes out and then two like
a week later they did two and then another week
later they did another two which is really odd
they did that in the last season they released
that in two halves and then the first two seasons
were just out I just... I don't like that. I
don't... I can only assume, we've said about
this before, my theory is they're holding on
to this old TV way because they want to stretch
people onto multiple months so they can't use
their free month to watch the whole thing. 100%.
100%, that's what it is. Because they're expecting
FOMO and spoilers to mean people are going to
want to watch these four episodes quickly and
then they'll get that $8 .99, I'll get $8 .99
out of you, you know. Yeah. So I think that's
why. And Disney does the same. So I love Bob's
Burgers, as many people know. I think it's season
15 we're on now, something like that. And we've
been sat on 10 episodes for that for over six
months. And now suddenly episodes 11, 12 and
13 have dropped in the past three weeks. Yeah.
So there's been like half a year gap waiting,
just waiting for those episodes to be released.
Yeah. But they're doing it in America as well.
So it's not like America's not, not. suffering
too i just think it's very unfair i don't like
that at all yeah i don't like it but they're
all out i've watched them all i absolutely love
clarkson's farm i'm going to download the first
basically i'm going to download them all to my
phone so i can watch them on the plane when i
go away i yeah i and i've already watched season
one and two twice already i just i don't know
what it is about it i just it's not that i really
like jeremy clarkson either it's just there's
just something about the show that I just quite
like. It is funny. And it's, you know, I, I like
farming stuff and I just, it's, I don't know.
It's something about the show just tickles me.
Right. I think maybe because he's such a blundering
idiot. Yes. And he's got like a young lad. He's
basically just like, you are a fucking idiot
to him. Just completely. Why are you doing not
scripted? It's not like top gear, quote unquote,
not scripted where Jeremy Clarkson actually wrote
all of that. He did it. Yeah. In this, there's
the occasional bit, I think, in season one or
two, where you think, that's a scenario I can
see that they're playing to, whereas clearly
by three and four, they're not. It's just, he's
a fucking idiot. Yeah, and I mean, it's a bit
like the Grand Tour. So I've just watched the
last episode of the Grand Tour, which is, it's
almost moving, almost moving. But what I will
say to people is, if you're going to watch the
Grand Tour and think it's real, then you're an
idiot. oh yeah oh however the vast majority of
it as much as it may be scripted i would suggest
that potentially may hammond and clarkson aren't
always aware and it's actually something the
production team have set up so i was watching
an interview with clarkson and caleb for the
um clarkson farm i think he mentioned something
because this is what i was saying about the writing
yeah he literally says in it because he's talking
about how he writes for newspapers and he loves
writing, it's like how he wrote the Grand Tour
on Top Gear stuff. So he does do it, but he doesn't
know, he basically creates the scenario, but
he doesn't know where they're going to go, what
they're going to, the production team are doing
that. So they were literally apparently turning
up to airports, not knowing where the hell they
were going to go. So they are surprised that
they're going to these places and stuff, and
they don't know exactly what's going to happen
when they get there, just. A map of it has kind
of been done by Clarkson being like, no, we're
going to be doing this kind of stuff. I think
the thing is, is people quite often just say,
oh, Jeremy Clarkson, no, I'm not going to give
it a chance. Hate him. Dislike him. He's objectionable.
He's a knob. All of those things. And I can quite
agree in some ways. However, he is bloody brilliant
on TV. Yeah. for that style of TV. And this is
why New Top Gear has always failed since those
three left. You cannot have that dynamic with
anyone else. And they work to it and they play
to it and that's why they were so successful
for so long. And that's why Clarkson Farm has
been successful because it's Clarkson being Clarkson.
And yet you may not like it, but if that's the
style of TV you like... It is perfect. Yeah.
Well, they captured Lightning in a Bottle with
Top Gear and the Grand Tour, and I just don't
think you're going to get shy of that again.
Well, I've just seen they've recast Top Gear
again with the new three presenters for it, and
it just looks atrocious. Just wouldn't bother.
I haven't. I didn't bother with when it was Paddy
McGuinness and whoever else it was. The cricketer.
Yeah, I mean, terrible. I didn't realise his
accident was as bad as it was. Yeah, pretty bad.
I've seen the pictures now and, oh, God. Freddy
Flintoff. And he's never going to look the same
again. He's not the good -looking bloke he used
to be. Yeah, he's quite scarred, isn't he? Bless
him. Yeah, but, as again, said Klaus and Pham,
loved it. You touched it earlier, Minecraft movie.
I've... been in the room when it's been on from
beginning to end yeah doesn't mean i've seen
every moment of it because i was making a drink
for him doing food or whatever doing something
hanging around while it was on and then there
was continued kind of like we'll watch it in
the morning we'll watch again in the morning
and it never happened he remembers every single
fucking word of it But I don't know how, because
he's only watched it, so he's watched it now
twice through, and we're halfway through it again,
and he said he wants to watch the second half
of it with Mummy in the morning tomorrow. So,
thanks. Thanks for the invite. I know where I'm
sitting. You see, I was lucky I got to take Kay
to the cinema for it. Yeah. Well, I mean, I've
brought it on the Apple TV, so you, I mean...
Yeah, Kay and Gem watched it. Kay and Gem watched
it. So I figured that out, by the way, so I don't
end up using your card. I have to turn off the
sharing. Whenever I'm going to buy, I turn off
family sharing, and then I use my card, and then
I turn it back on again. I think you can change
it to your card. It's just a pain in the arse
to do. Yeah, I think as well, if I do it from
my iPad or something, it doesn't... Ask for your
card. It does a personal card. Yeah, it's really
confusing. Apple stuff, fucking hell confusing.
But anyway, yeah, I've got it on there. And from
what I have seen of it, I really like it. I will
say it's phenomenal that so much of that was
practical effects as well. So excluding the fact
that the villagers' heads were CGI, their body,
their suits weren't. So it is people walking
along in costume. The trees, the lava chicken
shack was all real. I need to watch. I think
maybe you linked it to me. I need to watch some
making -ofs because I think that's why I felt
so weird about the zombies because they are,
like you're saying, people. Yeah. Which they've
obviously then manipulated the look of them in
with CGI. But then, yeah, the face is obviously...
Yeah, so it's really... It's a weird mishmash,
but it works. It works. It's very, very clever.
All the trees, for example, were real. I will
say it's borderline scary. for four -year -olds,
I think. Yeah, it's very dark, and I would say,
and this is me being, dear God, I'm being the,
won't someone think of the children? Very surprised
they went with the fact that the main bad character
just goes around and stabs everyone. Turns them
into pork chops, yeah. Well, there's a bit...
But that bit's fine, but the fact she's walking
around with a dagger and just stabbing people.
When you consider the amount of knife crime we
have in the newspapers at the moment, I would
have thought that would have been frowned upon
more. Yeah. The bit for me is actually when the
zombies eat the sheep. Oh, yeah. Like, T literally
says to me, like, they're eating his skin. It's
like, no, they're eating his fur off. But I think
they should have put that in. It would have been
funnier, actually, if it was more obvious that
they literally did a Minecraft and pulled his
fur off and then you had a naked sheep and one
of them had a block of wool. I think that would
have been funnier. Then it looks like their four
zombies are eating the sheep's flesh. Yes. And
I was like, OK, yeah, I can understand why you're
scared of that. Absolutely. And yeah, the nether
bit, because they've done such a brilliant job
with the CGI. it's almost too real. And it is
actually, I think, a bit scary. I don't want
to be the big, like, Dobby Downer on it, but
I think it is actually a bit too scary. So when
he said to me he's scared of it and didn't want
to watch it for a while, I totally got it. Yeah,
I 100 % agree. Yeah. So that's that. I played
a bit more Last of Us 2. You saw me when you
got here. I'm really excited for Death Stranding
2. That comes out on the 24th of June. surprised
how much i loved the first one i must play that
i haven't played it yet the the the shame about
it is for you now if other people aren't playing
it you're not going to get the same sense of
coolness so you're essentially a delivery man
for those who don't know you you um something's
happened in the world oh god it's fucking kojima
it's so difficult to explain but there's areas
where you can't go because dead creatures will
come out the ground and suck you in and if they
pull you down it causes like a basically some
kind of cataclysm which is a nuclear explosion
that happens so you have to not let that happen
to you but basically you're delivering places
you play something bridges who's played by the
the guy from walking dead yeah uh who everybody
knows who i now can't remember his name anyway
uh and there's a norman readers and i did that
without imdb holy fuck that's the first time
ever that's impressive and yeah so you're just
basically delivering stuff so you get stuff from
one place you have to try and carry it all on
your back or eventually you get a car or a little
bike and stuff and you've got to balance yourself
so like shoulder buttons are balance which is
quite a cool little thing it sounds so dull but
the story is epic the graphics are just wonderful.
The whole aesthetics of it is just incredible.
It's not often I completely binge a game. It's
really not often. I played that game every single
night. Miranda was a complete Death Stranding
widow. Complete Death Stranding. To the point,
and you have this baby on you, which can sense
the monsters, and it was called BB. I was so
into it because I was playing it while she was
pregnant, that T's nickname went... She was playing
with BB. So we just, this house was just calling,
calling him BB while he was inside. Anyway. Yeah.
So that new one comes out. I haven't pre -ordered
anything because when I get it, I want to play
it. And it's not like the games are going anywhere.
Like I can pick that game up in a year. Like
Death Stranding 1 is sometimes free on Steam.
So when I'm ready to play it, I'll play it. It'll
end up on one of the free side of things or what
the things that we pay for anyway. Yeah. But
I am, but I am super excited for it. And as I
was saying to you, like the shame for you, if
you're only going to just start defining one
now is that it's not multiplayer, but if you
can put like, you can build roads, you can physically
spend your credits to. Build a bit of road. And
that will appear for everyone else. And they
can spend their credits to build the next bit
of the road or upgrade the road to make it better
for you to drive on. Or there's bits we've got
to get through the mountains. Well, you can literally
climb all the way up and down the mountain in
the snow. I've seen the video clips of those.
Or you can get these weird magnet kind of glider
things. But you've got to have posts up to go
from one to the next to the next. Someone's got
to place those fucking posts there. So I remember
when I was doing it. It was quite a long time
after being released, maybe a year after being
released. So the money people were playing it,
but people had been maintaining these posts in
the mountains because you, they run out of energy.
You've got to spend credits to maintain. So it
might be worth start playing it when the second
one comes out, because people may go back to
play the first one to familiarize themselves
with it. Or wait for a steam sale and then play
it because that's when people. Is it cross play?
And I don't know if it's cross -play or not.
I don't know. But as I said, you're not playing
with anyone else. There's no one else there.
It's just, you know, you're getting elements
from certain people who play stuff. But it was
a great feature. And going through the mountains,
I mean, I made some... myself and what as well
you can like them so when you get there you can
press a button and click like on it and stuff
and you can leave messages for people so i made
this myself made this whole track for a quite
difficult bit of the mountain to skip a whole
section and it had loads of likes and people
obviously people were still playing it a year
later it's quite nice to go back and go back
and see the things that you put there other people
playing the game like oh yeah this is actually
really fucking handy thank you that's very cool
i like that and i'm guessing the second one's
going to be more of the same i watched a video
yesterday it looks brilliant more kojima insanity
of how the stories he comes up with brilliant
i'm really looking forward to basically what
i'm saying but not looking forward to it so much
that i'm going to stop everything else i'm already
playing because then i'll never fucking finish
anything yeah fair enough too many games on the
go um and the last thing i've been going a long
time so tiktok I've fallen into the AI algorithm.
You've seen what I've been sending you. Somehow
I've fallen into AI Yeti algorithm on TikTok.
If anyone doesn't know what I'm talking about,
somehow, some AI somewhere has suddenly been
released that must be free, that's doing videos
with very good audio. I don't think it's Gemini
because Gemini is all over the fucking place
with it. Yeah, with VO3. very good videos clearly
ai they're obviously ai because of the subject
matter a talking yeti it's basically bigfoot
but i don't know if people are doing their own
voices and adding it in or the ai is making the
voices or what i don't know but they're basically
vlogs but from a yeti's perspective are you sure
it's ai absolutely because there's so many of
them And they're all slightly different. But
you can see it does the things that have something
in its hand. It will accidentally morph into
something else. Oh, fine, fine, fine. Or an extra
finger will appear and disappear. So when you're
looking at them, you'll see... Because the ones
I've been... Some are better than others. The
ones I've been hooked into has been the Stormtrooper
vlogging. It's all AI. Are those AI, those Stormtrooper
ones? Because they just look too good. No, this
is what I'm saying to you. Some of them are incredible.
But if you go on that person's channel... and
look through them, you'll catch them. Fine, okay.
There's like a Batman and Robin one, and then
one scene, Robin will have a slightly different
costume. Right, okay. Or there's a long way Batman
will meet these two women. One of the women changes
in one of the scenes and goes back again. You
know, a person making that wouldn't make that
mistake. I think that in that case, it's people
overdubbing it. I think they're dubbing their
own audio. That's what I think too. And then
somehow the AI is doing... Well, it's because
the Stormtrooper ones, it's the same voices.
every time yeah across hundreds of videos at
this point and ai just can't do that at this
point it will always vary it so yeah i'm wondering
if there's some software where you can add your
own audio in no it could be just something like
11 labs yeah or maybe yeah but as i'm saying
that they're great The Yeti ones are hilarious.
I'll have to look at those ones. I haven't had,
as I said, I've had the Stormtroopers. I haven't
had the Yeti yet. And speaking kind of back to
Clarkson's Farm, there's some guy who's made
a channel where all of it is just taking clips
from Clarkson's Farm and turning them all into
babies. Yes, I've seen those. And they're so
funny. And there was one for the Lava Chicken
song where they're all babies and he loves watching
that where you see Jack Black there just as a
baby singing the Lava Chicken song. They're great.
I know everyone seems to hate AI, but there are
some parts of it that goes, that's funny. You
know, Clarkson's Farmers, babies, talking yetis,
eating humans. It's one of them where the yeti
keeps finding different female animals or different
female yetis to find himself a wife. And it goes
on about how he just has the greatest life of
his life and how she... it sounds gross sorry
everyone but I'm just going to say it's like
rode him like a demon or sucked him dry like
loads of really gross things but it always ends
in trouble at the end yeah one of them was like
he was having sex with a polar bear or something
it was just anyway sorry I've been going on for
nearly 20 minutes here the stormtrooper ones
if you've not watched all of those yet Oh, my
God. I've only seen one. The one I watched today.
We're stealing Vader's helmet, and the bloke
in the back has got Vader's helmet, and they're
running along, and then they get caught. He was
trying to stick it up his uniform, but he couldn't
get it in. Now we're having to be cleaners, and
they're doing cleaning, and then suddenly everything's
on fire, and they're escaping. This is our new
life now on a planet. Yeah, they're funny. But
no, last night's one was they're on Eldron. Is
it Eldron that's got the Ewoks? Yeah. Oh, I've
seen that one. And he's saying about the little
brown things. There's teddy bears throwing spears
at us. Yeah. Now, that is a good one, but I'm
pretty confident they're AI too. You see, I thought
I was wondering if that was someone's Blender
project. Maybe. Or an Unreal Engine 5 project.
If you look at it as well, they're all made up
of short clips. Well, I was going to say it's
short clips. And yeah, you're right. The one
I watched today where they're landing on the
planet in the escape pod, randomly there's a
fire going on in one of them. Why is that going
on? Yeah, exactly. I pledge loyalty eternal to
you, Agent M. No, no, no. I'm not interested
in a subject. Too late. It's done. I only pledge
the loyalty I wish you'd said no, no, no before.
Right. Before we talk about the Switch, a really
important one that we completely missed. It's
been 38 years and literally three hours ago at
the time of us recording. Mel Brooks has confirmed
that Spaceballs 2 is happening and he is returning
as The Yogurt. Yeah, what is going on? Will we
just do our episode? I've noticed this about
a few things that we've done that... We do an
episode, obviously, because the world revolves
around me and you. Of course. Yeah, we do the
Spaceballs episode and it's suddenly out 38 fucking
years later. Maybe we just showed Mel that actually
there is people out there who still are watching.
You never know. He was looking there at the stats
on Amazon Prime one day and he just saw, ping,
two more went up. He goes, I knew it. Well, from
what I've read, apparently Bill Pullman, Rick
Moranis. Mel Brooks are all coming back for it.
Oh, great. Now, I thought Rick Moranis had retired
from acting completely, hasn't done anything
for years, so that'll be interesting. He went
to look after his kids, though, didn't he? Yeah.
Well, you know, I think if Mel... went and asked
you to come back for one at the age of 98 he's
going to come back as yoga i think yeah you're
going to have to come back yeah i think you've
got so he looks good for 98 he looks brilliant
for 98 watching that video you telling me he's
98 that's very surprising to me he looks good
um but so many comments as well about the thing
that we missed with can you please bring back
um the actor that played tubok oh yeah i ain't
saying shit we ain't saying shit How did we miss
that was him? I don't know how we missed it.
It's the helmet probably. It's just a massive
helmet. We're too busy laughing at the actual,
what he said and the big, and the Afro comb he's
using. Yeah, well, that's fair enough. So, right.
I'm not going to make another section. You sent
me a voice note the other day. I did. Now I'm
going to put these two voice notes at the end.
Because we're kind of going to go over basically
what we say. But if anyone is interested in the
original conversation you and I had over two
voice notes, they can listen to it at the end.
But the Switch 2 came out, and you had an opinion
about it, and I had an opinion about it, and
we expressed those opinions, and we're going
to express them to you now. So I will open this
conversation with, I managed to walk into a shop
on Tuesday. Yeah. And still buy a Switch 2 over
the counter without a pre -order. Yeah. And I
don't think that's to do with Nintendo being
brilliant at providing stock. Well, I don't know.
So since we actually... It's a while now since...
It was the 6th that you and I had that chat,
and it's now the 12th. So it's been six days
since we made those voice notes. So if anyone
does listen after the credits, they'll hear it
was six days ago from now. And I watched... I
know you don't like him. uh linus tech tips oh
yeah he did a way does the wan show i don't actually
watch it he was still get clips of it and he
was talking about the switch so i did listen
to like 40 minutes of him and luke i think the
guy is he does it with talking about the switch
too and they did actually make some good points
about it but he was saying that supposedly according
to one of their sources who runs a store a store
that nintendo did actually want to beat the scalpers
and promise they would have more stock than last
time okay and apparently it's selling faster
than the switch one did now whether i believe
that i don't know i could believe it for the
fact that no one had a fucking switch one in
stock so by having the switch to in stock available
for people to buy automatically means it's going
to beat it because you couldn't get a switch
one for a long fucking time it was like a year
probably wasn't it Well, I don't think it was
quite... It was a long period of time. It was
like the Wii had exactly the same issue. I remember
the Wii came out and you couldn't buy it for
love nor money from anywhere. But the thing is,
everyone had a Wii. Yeah. My mum was talking
about Wiis. But the point is, the Switch 2 has
not got that magic about it at all. And the price
they're charging... for what in effect is still
i don't rate an amazing thing now i'm coming
at it from being a somewhat gamer i'm not a diehard
gamer you know that we all know that but i've
been watching videos of it okay and people have
been going oh isn't the switch too wonderful
look they've managed to get cyberpunk running
on it And they're singing all the prizes and
they're saying how wonderful this handheld console
is. And I'm sat there and I'm watching it. It's
like, yeah, it's running. It's running like shit.
Yeah. And I would, okay, it's incredible that
they've got it running on the Switch 2, considering
that the hardware is really low standard. in
comparison to what's actually available in every
other gaming console and level out there. But
as a gamer, I would not be happy with the quality
that Cyberpunk is running on that machine. Well,
I'm just looking here now. I could pick up Nintendo
Switch 2 with Mario Kart World, £534 from Curry's.
Now, that does come with 12 months membership.
I was just going to say, what? That's actually
quite a lot of stuff that's giving you. That's
a lot of fucking money. The standard bundle is
$430 with Mario Kart World, which, granted, looks
a good game. It looks good fun. But I don't think
it's worth buying the Switch 2 just for that
game. $430, yeah, yeah. Yeah, so I feel like
they shouldn't have called it Switch 2. They
should have called it Switch Pro. Because if
you can still play all the original games on
it... Ah, well, let's get to that then, shall
we? You can't play all the original games on
it. Which ones can't you play? Is there a lot?
There's going to be a catalog release, just like
Xbox did. So I remember the days the Xbox One
came out and there was that lovely big promise
by the Microsoft Xbox CEO, or whatever his name
was. We're bringing backwards compatibility to
it. And you know what? That backwards compatibility
list is still about 30 fucking titles. It is
shockingly bad. It's mainly 360, not even original
Xbox games. And it's because it does it on an
emulation layer basis. The Switch 2 is emulating
Switch 1. It's not running it on normal hardware.
You put a Switch 1 game in it. If it's compatible,
it will download it onto the console and then
it's running it in an emulator. Yeah, I don't
like that. It should just fucking play it. How
different can it fucking be? Well, in effect,
the Switch 2 is now a handheld PC. You might
as well go and get a Steam Deck, a Lenovo Legion
Go, Asus ROX X or whatever, and just get one
of them. I have the Wii U version of Breath of
the Wild available for me to play on my Steam
Deck. I can only think people are getting the
Switch because they're Nintendo fans and that
they are desperate to play the Nintendo -branded
games. So Mario Kart World, the new Donkey Kong
that's coming. But I mean, come on. The Switch
is how old now? You've then had the Switch Lite.
We had the Switch OLED. Mario title on that.
Mario Kart was just copied from the Wii U. Okay,
it got a remaster, it got some upgrades, but
it's still the one that you could have got on
Wii U. The sideways scrolling Mario, again, Wii,
and then Wii U version, and then the Switch version.
The Super Mario 3D World, that was Wii U again.
So the only Mario, real Mario game we got on
the Switch was Odyssey. And they didn't even
release a new one for the Switch 2's release.
Now, I can only think they're going to release
it around Christmas, if there is one, to do another
marketing push on the Switch 2. Get your Mario
Kart, Christmas period, consoles are back in
stock. By the way, there's a new Mario coming.
Now, I've got to say, I love my Switch 1. I've
got a lot of fucking games on it. Lots of games.
That whole thing of being able to just put it
down on the screen, pick it up, walk off with
it. Great idea. What a great idea. I never actually
took the controllers off the side. I had a pro
controller, which was nicer to hold than having
those little ones on the side. Pro controller
is a really good controller. Yeah, and it's a
wonderful controller. It's not great when it
dies and runs out of battery because it takes
like 10, 20 minutes to actually come from dead
to being charged. Yeah, I've played a lot of
games on there. Even the Witcher I've got on
there, you know, looks dreadful. But it was one
of those things that's like, I'm going to have
that on there so I can walk around and play that.
I mean, I've got Steam Deck now. It looks amazing
on the Steam Deck. Well, I didn't genuinely realise
that the Switch 1 is only running at 480. Yeah.
And 720 on the screen, or up to 1080 I think
it could do. With this coming out, I mean, I'm
not going to do it. because why would I? I've
got the Steam Deck. I could see myself being
like, now's the time for me to upgrade to the
OLED Switch 1. Well... Because the new one doesn't
have an OLED screen. No, it's got an LCD, and
you know why they've done that. So in two years'
time, you can get the Switch 2 OLED gets rolled
out. Now, drop the price of this one, and then...
For a little bit more than what you're paying
now for the new panel, it'll be an OLED version,
new colours, and it'll be released with the new
Zelda or the new Mario. Joy -Cons for the Switch
2, any idea on the cost? I can't imagine. £80
a set? Well... Would you like to know something
else about those Joy -Cons? What, the fact that
they used the same sensors for the analogue sticks
and people are already complaining about drift?
And they already have stick drift, yep. So all
the problems they had before, they're going to
have again. Why have they not learnt their lesson
from that? Why? Because they don't give a fuck.
But this is why I think this could well be the
last Nintendo console. There is no love in that
Switch 2. None at all. There is money -making
opportunity, and that is it. I don't feel...
I mean, I remember buying the Wii and being excited
by it. Oh, I loved that console. I remember buying
my original Game Boy Advance and I can't wait
to get home. I had Doom on it. It was amazing.
I remember getting my first Game Boy and being
blown away with it. But you know what? I got
the Switch. I played through Odyssey in about
two days. I liked it, but it was a novelty. Yeah.
I didn't think... wow this is blowing my mind
and now the switch 2 has come out and i've looked
at it i'm seeing all of this i'm seeing that
nintendo have been lazy and they've not even
bothered to put hall effect bloody analog sticks
in it yeah it's disgusting it is just money why
open it with lcd when everyone else is doing
oled yeah that's really really poor yeah and
you touched on something about the terms of service
of it being you don't Own it, you rent it. The
terms of service is basically Nintendo still
own it. And now a lot of things do that. Don't
get me wrong, a lot of hardware, a lot of companies
have been caught doing that. And there's nothing
you can do about it. Realistically, Nintendo
aren't going to turn up at your doorstep and
say, give us back the console. But it does give
them the right to brick it. I can't stand the
idea of that. And that's where I'm starting to
get then even more frustrated because the fact
that Nintendo are the worst people out there
for turning off digital marketplaces, who's to
say that in 10 years when they turn off the Switch
digital marketplace that you want to hack yours
so you can keep your games on it because it's
the only way you're going to get those games
ever again. Yeah. If they're still running the
servers and that they can say, well, no, it's
against RTOS, so we're still going to brick your
console. It's just, it's really, really wrong.
The thing, I've heard a lot of people say this,
that the Nintendo that you and I loved died,
Winter Water died. Yes. And now it's a corporate
machine that wants to sue everybody. What they've
done to Power World, you know what they've done
to Power World? Oh, they've... They've gutted
it, basically. Because those guys, even though
they earned a fortune in Power World, they can't
afford the lawsuits. No. But as I said, the excitement...
The novelty, the care, the fun, the love is gone.
Do you remember? Surely you remember the Game
Boy adverts. We're releasing the Game Boy Color.
It's a color screen, and it's a smaller Game
Boy. You only need two AA batteries for it. Oh,
my God. My world melted when I saw that. I was
never going to own it. I couldn't afford it.
I was at school at the time. That is so cool.
Where did they go from here? Because they were...
Home console and handheld. They were basically,
they owned the handheld world. They owned it.
No one could touch it. PlayStation tied twice.
You know, could not compete. Even though PlayStation
making arguably better hardware, nicer looking
games, but they're not Nintendo. They're not
innovating. They've not got... okay but i would
say sony's had another stab at it recently so
obviously you had the playstation portal that's
now had an upgraded firmware that now allows
you to do cloud gaming okay so if you're on the
wi -fi and you've got the membership with playstation
that's interesting you can now do cloud gaming
that's interesting because that device is very
cool and i'd be interested in again i can stream
my playstation to my steam deck so it does seem
a bit pointless but i can see why if you didn't
have a steam if i didn't have that that would
be a very interesting especially at the cost
of the portal yeah and if you consider if you
bought the portal and bought a ps5 you did the
ps5 second hand yeah and even potentially the
portal second hand you could still come in cheaper
than the switch too they should bundle them together
that should be it wouldn't surprise me if they
do ps playstation 6 That should be their Kinect.
Well, Wii U had the right idea. You get a console
and you get the handheld. And you can play the
handheld around the house or if you want to play
it on the TV. Well, the problem with the Wii
U handheld was it... only connected from what
was broadcast from the console. It was ahead
of its time. So you couldn't get far away from
it. I had the whole dreams of being able to walk
to the bog with it, but you wouldn't reach. But
think about Wi -Fi standards now versus then.
Now, that would be on your Wi -Fi network. It
would be on your Wi -Fi network now, that Wii
U. The Wii U was never a console I really thought
much about, and Miranda brought it for me. I
think for one of my birthdays, completely random,
complete surprise. I had no idea. I didn't ask
for it. I didn't ask for anything for my birthday.
She just got it. And I was like, and it was one
of my favorite consoles ever. It's just the handheld
thing of it felt really nice. It's a big thing,
but like I adored my DS and my 3DS and it felt
like that. It felt like I had the TV and then
the map in my hands. I would say, excluding the
fact they went with the resistive screen, it
was really well made. It felt like it was worth
something in your hands. Mine is upstairs. Still
works. It's charging right now. It felt good.
The Switch, actually, I thought, you know what?
This feels pretty good as well. But looking at
these videos of the new one, it's bigger. I don't
think it looks as good. I actually think the
Switch is a bit flimsy. I've got... It's too
small for me. My hands are lanky, pianist hands.
Yeah, fair enough. I really cramp up. So I've
got a special controller that makes it feel like
it's an Xbox controller. Oh, I know the one that
gives you a bit of bums on the back. Yeah, so
it makes you feel like you're holding an Xbox
controller. Yeah. And that's the only way I can
play it. Forever I've had to have it. I've tried
loads of different ones. Miranda brought me a
few different ones, but I just... There wasn't
enough. I can't remember who actually makes this
one. But yeah, I don't know what this one will
be like. It's meant to be bigger. But the thing
is, you know, I talk about games with you a lot
and with Mark and with Dan. And particularly
Dan will be talking about new consoles and stuff.
We've never spoken about the Switch 2. Never
spoken about it. Not once. I think when you mentioned
it to me the other day, that's the first conversation
I've had with anybody about it. And it's out.
And it's like... All the people I watch on YouTube
and stuff, well, I don't watch so much gaming
stuff now. No one spoke about it until it was
out, and then they did unboxings. I'm like, okay,
I'm not interested in watching that, if I'm honest.
Well, it's got a camera. Woohoo! Yeah, wow. I
don't want to do that kind of thing, so I wouldn't
be buying a camera. I only play multiplayer games
with my friends who I know in person. Yeah, and
we don't need to see a camera for that. We don't
need to look at each other on the cameras for
that. Exactly. Or 80 quid probably. You have
a headset. That's all you need. So yeah, nice
novel idea if you want to be social. I guess
Nintendo have always tried to be social. And
you look at the game style, especially with the
Wii, that was the plan. And then to be able to
give someone a Joy -Con. And then you turn it
on its side and use that for a lot of the games.
Again, social gaming. I just don't think it works.
I think Nintendo are being very greedy. I think
the fact that we're seeing some games now, third
or fourth remasters of games for the Switch 2
now, I think that's just disgusting, especially
at the price they're charging. I remember the
days, and it sounds like, oh, my day. I do feel
a bit Pembridge Farm here. Yeah, but no, fine.
PlayStation. You then got PlayStation Gold or
PlayStation Classic games that were re -released
and they were 20 quid. Yeah. And then PlayStation
2 did it and there were some PlayStation 1 games
that they brought forward. They were called Platinum.
They were PlayStation Platinum. Platinum, that
was it. Platinum. And PlayStation 2 did exactly
the same when a game went Platinum. it became
£20. Yeah, they put a shit cover on it. Yeah.
And then Nintendo come along and go, oh, right,
Breath of the Wild. Oh, guess what? We've uprated
it from 720 to 1080 now and we put HDR on it.
That's £80 again. So Breath of the Wild is an
eight -year -old game, believe it or not. No,
I believe it. And I still, as I say in my WhatsApp,
which people will hear later, I don't think that's
long enough to warrant a remaster. You know,
I genuinely don't. All you're doing is just making
the graphics. Breath of the Wild originally was
on the Wii U, wasn't it? It came out on the Wii
U and the Switch at the same time. But yeah,
it's also on the Wii U. Yeah. And apparently
it runs awful on it. Well, that doesn't surprise
me in the slightest. Apparently. Okay, so yeah,
now you've got a game that's being remastered
for the Switch 2. And they're charging full price.
Yeah, this is gross. It's been sold how many
times now? Give the people a break. It's greed.
And Nintendo are just absolutely preying on Nintendo
fans, knowing that Nintendo fans will pay for
it. And I think they're going to stop soon. As
I kind of started saying earlier, where do they
go from here? They had home consoles and they
had handhelds. Now they've blended them together.
They can never take that apart. They can't bring
out... I don't think another console that isn't
also a handheld. And I think they've always been,
they have always had brilliant games and done
very good at getting things out of their system,
but they've always had the lesser system, haven't
they? From what I can remember. Well, as in,
if we're talking about the actual hardware inside.
Back in the day, the Master System Mega Drive
era, it was a... close fight between the nez
and the snares with some outperforming others
in various ways the game boy ruled the roost
yeah even though it was monochrome it kicked
the ass of everything else and yeah okay it was
the lesser of the hardware it was the better
of the machines it's just the way that went but
now we're in a world that hardware is cheap ram
is cheap hard drives don't forget back in the
day of gaming 90s early 2000s we were stuffed
based on memory pricing. And that's why things
cost a lot of money. And now we're actually more
limited by graphics cards because of bloody Bitcoin
and everything else. That's why graphics cards
cost so much. If the whole Bitcoin thing didn't
exist, God, the price of graphics would be through
the floor as well because memory costs peanuts.
What is Nintendo's excuse to be releasing hardware
that is not up to the standard of everyone else's?
Yeah. Yeah, people are buying Switch 2s for what
I paid for my OLED Steam Deck. Yeah. Which is,
you know, it's Linux. Shame. But it's, you know,
an amazing computer, you know. That can play
so many really cool things. It can probably play
Switch and Switch 2 games. Probably could. And
I know people will be screaming, going, oh, yes,
but it's a digital marketplace, which you've
already said you don't like. Yes, but how long
has Steam been going for? It's not going to be
disappearing anytime soon. Nintendo chose to
turn off those markets. They didn't need to.
PC. went that way and forced everyone into it
a long time ago like a very very long time ago
that that was a battle lost ages ago but consoles
are different you know like with pcs it's kind
of an iterative thing like it you don't get a
new pc every few years you upgrade parts of it
and everything that you had before continues
to work for it in perpetuity until an os change
then makes it impossible to work yes but i feel
like that's becoming a less and less thing nowadays
and with modders and stuff older things come
back and you know you can play a lot of these
old things well steam started back on windows
98 yeah you can't I don't think consoles work
in the same way. Because what consoles do is
they turn their services off. Way more than what
happens on PC. But with PC, modders can mod the
game and then host them peer -to -peer. You don't
do that on console games. They fucking turn it
off. Or things like GOG suddenly exist, who say...
Yeah, you can download our cloud installer, our
Steam equivalent, or there's the offline installer
for you to keep in perpetuity and keep forever,
just in case our servers go offline. That's how
you do it. Nintendo are a rich company. Storage
online is cheap. Vastly cheap. There was no reason
why the DS, the 3DS, the Wii... the Wii U marketplaces
needed to be switched off. They could have been
modified to be, we no longer have any of the
live functions, but we'll recognize your account,
we'll recognize your purchases, and they're all
still there. They'll never get modded. They'll
never get updated. But if you need to access
something you have bought before, you still can.
Okay, here's an example. So, Red Alert, come
on and conquer Red Alert 1. Yes. I've got that
on disk. Same here. If I had a CD drive in my
computer, which I don't, I could put that in
and I could get that to work. Yes. Now, when
did that come out? I was probably... Red alert
one would have been 97 or 98, I would have said.
I'll look it up while you talk. That is old,
right? But I can go upstairs now, grab it, put
it in a computer and get it to work. I might
have to find a patch, but I'll be able to get
it to work this evening. I can... 96 for wine.
I can do it, but let's pretend I can't. I can
go to my 3DS and go, oh, I've got this game that
I downloaded once on the store that I had to
remove because I didn't have enough storage space.
Or, oh, my SD card's corrupt. I better put a
new one in and I'll re -download the games I
had. So let's go download that Zelda game that
I had on the DSi store. Oh! we've turned the
fucking store off oh shit how do i get this game
that i brought from their store less time ago
than when red alert came out you know how am
i going to play that now now i've got this i
never you know i was oh they had this wonderful
store with all these things on it and now i can't
access anymore now i've just got a 3ds that's
fucking useless oh wait wait hang on a moment
let's move you into 2025 rob I've bought you
a Switch too. And I'm going, mate, look, I've
bought you this. I'm really generous. And you
go, ooh, that's really nice. Oh, you didn't get
me the one with the pack in game though. What
a cunt. Anyway, I've gone to game and you've
gone and bought yourself Mario Kart World. And
what you don't spot on the back of Mario Kart
World is one of the three icons. And one of those
icons says, this is a game key. One of the icons
will say this is a game card, and I can't remember
what the third one was. Game keys. This is an
empty box. There is nothing on that game card
except for a license file. Yeah, fuck you. Fuck
you. That's annoyed me so much I forgot what
my point was going to be. Because I've just found
that so annoying. What people would do is exactly
what I've done. I don't fucking care if Nintendo
are listening. My 3DS is cracked. I have access
to every single 3DS game I ever want to have.
I actually own 90 % of what I've downloaded as
an actual cartridge. But for ease, for myself,
I've gone and downloaded them. But there are
some DSi shop games on there. Impossible to get.
Yes. Just gone. So those publishers, like indie
publishers would have made these games. The revenue's
gone forever because great games can never be
downloaded again. And that's it. But I also disagree
with, okay, I bought on the 3DS, although I had
the 2DS because I thought 3DS was a terrible,
terrible gimmick. I bought the 2DS. I bought
Pokemon Yellow on that. I will never get that
again. And guess what you can buy on some of
the new modern stores? Oh, Pokemon Yellow. Do
I get that? No. No, no, because it doesn't care
that you used to have it. No, you've got to buy
it again. Yeah. It's greed. I've said this before.
One of the handheld consoles that they did, if
something happened to the console, it didn't
care what you had downloaded. You had to buy
it all again because it was all stored to the
device and keyed to the device. If your device
died, you didn't have a login that could pair
it to it. You had to buy. All of those fucking
games again. Those license keys, that's exactly
it. You put Mario Kart World into your Switch
2, it is now tied to that handheld. They've gone
back to that again. Oh, this was it. I have...
Other than the little, tiny, weird indie games
that I've got on my Switch, which I have brought
through their store, because I had no choice
but to do that, I... I got a voucher for the
store, I think, one birthday. So I used that
and bought Mario whatever it is on there with
the hat. You throw that. Yeah, Odyssey. Odyssey.
Which is brilliant. So I have the digital download
of that. I'm going to fucking lose that one day.
If I don't keep that stored on my Switch and
nothing happens to my SD card and the Switch
never dies, I'm safe. But we all know what happens
to media. It will die. Of course. They're going
to turn that store off and then, well, fuck you
lot, I'm just going to pirate it at that point.
Exactly. And it's Nintendo have been the ones
that have been worse going for piraters. But
you know what? People that pirate those games,
it's because you're never going to get them again.
And okay, they say, oh yeah, we've got our virtual
console now. Yeah, great. For the same price,
actually no, I will hold my hand up actually,
I'm wrong there. It's cheap, the membership for
the Microsoft of the year. It is cheap, but you're
only getting a handful of N64, SNES, NES, Mega
Drive, and GameCube games. Whereas you pay a
little bit more for the Xbox or the PlayStation,
you get a giant library of games that is changing
all the time. You're getting old games, you're
getting brand new games. I don't think, this
is my honest opinion, Nintendo should have given
up. after the switch and gone we're going to
maintain the switch we're going to do a sega
this is our last bit of hardware we're going
to look more at making games make games for xbox
or something yeah you know that would be great
when you're having a brilliant mario america
on on an xbox console like a really powerful
console they could really well or you know what
go nuts with it be really brave and say we're
going to release nintendo games we are becoming
nintendo cloud you can buy your nintendo cloud
membership and you can play that on your xbox
you can play that on your playstation and it's
all cloud and oh i'm playing the latest mario
on my xbox via their cloud app because there's
no more hardware everything is just cloud based
i mean i wouldn't like that because i want to
have the disc but i i mean i can see that well
i mean that's what xbox wants to do that's what
they want game pass to be And I just don't think
it'll ever work whilst they're taking things
off Game Pass, which is what they do. Yeah. Yeah.
I mean, it's... Like I said, I don't want to
shit on them, but I kind of do. It would be great
if the Switch 2 did really well, and it could
mean they could do more things, because some
of the things they do are cool, but... Excuse
me. I don't think they will. I think they're
a bunch of mummy -grabbing bastards. Yeah, 100%.
Right, that's enough of that. Let's do this.
Okay, let's get on with it now. We've been here
a long time. The whole point of this was to talk
about Men in Black International. Now, it came
out in 2019. Let me tell you how fucking bored
I was watching it. It was shit. There you go,
stop recording. Okay, now, I'm not going to go
as far as to say it was shit, because I don't
think it was actually shit. There are redeeming
moments. There are... The ending, when the credits
roll, that's a great moment in the film. No,
so there were moments. Now, I will say I did
not even snigger at any point during this comedy.
Not one moment did I snigger. There's one point
where Pawnee says something that made me and
Jem laugh. Nope. That was it. Nope, not me. He
was the best character in it, Pawnee. Yeah, that's
what we said. We said 100 % he's the best character
in this. Thor was terrible. Annoying, frustrating.
I think his whole point, he was meant to be annoying.
Well, it worked. I found him annoying. He is
just playing Thor, and it just made me think,
what else have I seen Chris Hemsworth in? And
it's just, can he only actually play Thor? Is
this the only acting he can do? No, there are
a couple of action things I've seen on, I think,
Netflix, like Red something. that he's actually
quite good in. Right, okay, no, no, and then
I will hold my hands up. I've only ever seen
him in Thor and comedies like the Ghostbusters,
and he basically just plays an idiot, and it
just seems that that's what he's doing here.
Yeah, and Liam Neeson was there because he must
have needed a new car or an extension, or he
must have had an alimony payment. They got some
big names in that film, and oh my God, did they
waste them. Yeah. Who was the lady who's in charge?
Yeah, I know who you mean. Big actress. She wasn't
in it for very much. No, if anyone was after
an alimony payment or a car payment, it was her.
Yeah. What I did like, the art style of it, it's
very Men in Black. They do that very well. Emma
Thompson. Emma Thompson, that's it. The graphics
of the two... blokes who follow them around the
galaxy kind of thing when they're galaxy design
i think they looked fucking awesome yeah that
was that was beautiful they look really nice
i like how they kind of melted people yeah how
they did the earthquake thing in london's only
street that couldn't have had any human beings
in it at any time of the night, even though all
the shops appear to be open. I mean, just miracle.
I like the fact they used twins to play the two
blokes in that. I think that's brilliant. It's
very Matrix -esque. It was very Matrix -esque.
Yeah, and... And then we get a lechy, fat blob
alien. Yeah, he was odd. I really did like the
hive alien at the end, Liam Neeson turned into
him. I thought the graphics on him was good,
but it suited it because it was very dark. And
it was over so quick. Yeah. It's like that was,
joking aside, that was the best part of the film.
And then when she goes through the portal and
gets sucked back in by Pawnee and his thing,
you know, that was the best bit of the whole
film. Now, I didn't find myself looking at my
phone, which, as I've said before, is a good
sign of whether actually a film's engaging. But
I think it was more of a case of, like, I was
engaged because I was waiting to laugh. I was
waiting for something to happen that I gave a
fuck about. Now, I'd say it didn't even feel
remotely like a Men in Black film. It felt more
like they were trying to do a Bond film with
aliens in it. The charm was gone. Absolutely
no charm. Men in Black had charm. And it was
fun. It was exciting. It was new. Men in Black
2 was rubbish in comparison. And they then went
to Men in Black 3 and got it back by just peeling
it back a little bit and going, where did we
go wrong? And the third one's really quite good.
That's the... Time travel one. That's it. What
I felt about Men in Black 1 is that... The film
happens to Will Smith. It's being driven by the
carnage and the mess and this weirdness that's
all happening around him. And that's what's the
driving force. Doesn't it feel genuine? Yeah.
He's chasing after a criminal. It's like, what
the fuck just happened? I can't believe my eyes.
No one's believing me. And boom, this man in
black appears, interviews him. And then he's
got to go through that painstaking moving the
table, shooting the little girl in the head.
Why have you chosen to shoot her? All of that.
Brilliant, brilliant scenes. And then what do
we get in Men in Black International? She, as
a child, sees an alien, makes friends with it.
Next thing we know, she's got the biggest brain
known to man. She fully understands everything
from astrophysics to nuclear. Oh, yeah, that
wound me up. And she manages just to waltz in.
I mean, as Gem actually really clearly pointed
out, yes, we know, as the viewer, those pigeons
are flying through a hologram at the beginning.
For all she knows, they're being vaporized. Yeah.
Yeah. I didn't think of that. But this super,
super clever woman just like, I'm going to put
my hand through it. Yeah. Yeah. She didn't want
to kind of chuck a rock or something at it a
bit closer. Yeah. I made the kind of mental note
of she had been there for two weeks and she was
getting 95 to 97 % on her alien language or whatever
it was. I'm thinking, fuck off. There's like,
no, I don't get how clever you are. She was in
like the high nineties for the three. retarded
categories sorry everybody that's a word i'm
not meant to say um categories that were written
on the screen i just that that was a little bit
unbelievable but the thing is men in black one
i'm just gonna come i'm gonna compare it to number
one because that's what i think everyone will
be but that is genuine in men in black that is
all about will smith's character yes and um well
no it's not it's all about jay which is will
smith's character and it's all about k because
don't forget the film opens in men in black one
with k retiring his colleague but so it follows
the storyline of both of them yeah But you're
kind of seeing it through Will Smith's perspective
of it. So that's just like a bit of foreshadowing
of bits to come later. And then you get a little
payoff with, it's Tommy Lee Jones, isn't it?
Yeah, Tommy Lee Jones. Of him seeing his wife
and he's looking at his wife on the computer
and stuff, which isn't even creepy. I say it
like it's creepy. It's not even remotely creepy
when you watch it. You go, no, actually, yeah,
I'll probably be doing that too. No, because
you get the idea that you understand. Because
he's not meant to have those connections. Yeah,
they are meant to disconnect themselves from
the world. Yeah. But I feel like you're actually
really the protagonist or if you were writing
a book about men in black, you'd be writing it
in first person and it would be Will Smith's
character is written in. Yes. Whereas this, I
feel like they had the character, her. That was
the Will Smith character and that's what it should
have been. But because they've got Hemsworth.
Big actor at the time. Thor. Big movie films.
They wanted to get their money's worth out of
him. So we got a lot of him. So the film was
in two parts. Her and him. And I didn't think
they met. Well, no, they didn't. And this is
the very, very clear thing. In Men in Black 1,
Will Smith's character is learning throughout
the entire film. Whereas it feels like her character
just walks in and she already knows. She knows
everything. Fuck it. Yeah. I mean, when they
are fighting the two Galaxy dudes in the world's
quietest London street scene, she knows how every
single one of those guns work. Take that back
to Men in Black 1. He pulls out the noisy cricket.
What the hell am I meant to do with this? Fires
it and gets blown across two cars into a van.
Yeah. that's the difference between quality and
caring about developing a film versus what international
did, which is we're just going to make them both
strong lead characters in their own way and they
can do whatever they need to do. Yeah. It's funny
you said that about the quiet London streets
because we watched Black Doves a few months ago
and we kept saying. where are they filming this
because they're firing live firearms in built
up london residential areas no one's even twitching
a curtain it's like this is not realistic and
that's exactly what happens in this now i know
they've got the neuralyzer yeah but Can't neuralise
everyone. It's just stupid. Yeah, you have to
suspend a lot of your disbelief in this film
for like the law that they set themselves where
they have to do clear up and they're having full
on alien motorbike chases for a Marrakesh fucking...
Yeah, she literally neuralises two people on
that run and then just... Gives up. Yeah, and
what about the few hundred other people that
need to be run over by the weird motorbike thing?
Yep. And they try and clone scenes from the original
film as well. The first film goes in. Will Smith
finally comes down to meet Kay and he taps the
ball and it smashes around all of the office.
Yeah, yeah. Which is funny. That's what caused
the power outage of whatever year. Yep. What
do we get in this? We get a less funny ball scene
just with a little alien instead. Yeah. And it
suddenly starts running off and everyone's diving
around to get it and it's chaos. Not funny. It's
just not, you've already done it once and this
is the poor man's version. Yeah. So yeah, I felt,
I actually stopped writing notes about halfway
in. We watched the hour of it, went to bed and
then we watched the next hour and I just didn't
bother carrying on the notes. I didn't write
any notes in the second half other than that
I liked the hive monster. It's the least notes
I've written for any of the films because I just
like, there are no points I really need to talk
about here. The only reason I think I even partially
really enjoyed any of it was because the budget
was there. So the art style and design of the
Men in Black films I like. I like the alien design.
I like how they do it graphically. I just kind
of like how it looks. The choice of a classic
Jaguar. Brilliant. The guns hidden in it. So
the drum of his gun. being the hubcap that was
a great idea yeah guns built in all around it
brilliant just didn't like the fact that she
was just whipping them out and able to use them
without anything kind of bad or not going you
could have just even slapstick comedy which is
what men in black was she could have pulled it
right i pull this yeah pull the trigger magazine
drops out classic done in loads of films something
like that or She's holding it backwards. Exactly.
And neuralises herself for like three minutes
or something. One thing I noticed, she gets on
a subway train that looks like a subway train,
then morphs into not being a subway train. Oh,
that was such an awful scene. What's the fucking
point of it? Because why does it need to look
like an actual subway train when it's in the
Men in Black? base and it's going down its own
secret track with aliens on it to another men
in black base why does it look like a normal
subway train it's completely pointless completely
pointless it's completely pointless and i love
the fact that she could just walk into the men
in black base and they call it in yeah but that
doesn't mean that the lift stops it still takes
her down to their main base where she can see
everything. It's like, that just doesn't make
sense. Yeah, I guess they just expect to neuralise
her and then that'll be fucking it. Yeah, I mean,
yeah, so I've got, yeah, you just walked in,
not even a fingerprint scanner on the lift. So,
I mean, all of that. I think, you know what?
One bit that I genuinely thought was fun. Okay,
fun minus the NY. I quite like the fact that
the fat slob alien. drinks vodka cranberry yeah
yeah so you've just got an alien race you're
in a this club you're expecting it what are they
gonna is it gonna be like foam and dry ice coming
off is it gonna look like a science fiction no
he likes vodka cranberry that was quite fun yeah
that was a novel idea and if that had been in
something like men in black one i would have
laughed at it but up to this point it was so
not bad but so And so little was done with it
that was decent. I just couldn't really bring
myself to it. I mean, it's like, as you say,
Chris Hemsworth, he was in it because he was
eye candy. You could have done his role with
any other one. They had to have a sex scene with
him just so he could be topless. Yeah. Okay.
They just had to do that because it's Hemsworth.
Just like the Ghostbusters. I like Ghostbusters
2016, but they have him just because he's totty.
And I know that is the joke, but either way.
You could have just done so much better. But
they play that joke in Ghostbusters, which is
why it works. They're not playing that joke in
this. No, they're not at all. He's an unfunny
secret agent. Although they do play it, don't
they, with the weird purple broccoli alien woman
in Men in Black who slows down time and is reversing
it for that scene. And it's a dreadfully awful,
painful scene because the character looks awful
and the whole point of it is just like... This
is rubbish. But a redeeming feature of the film,
actually, the three -armed lady, she's in Mission
Impossible. Yeah, and the three -armed was quite
novel. That was quite novel that that just suddenly
came out of nowhere. Yeah. And as I say, Pawnee.
Pawnee was the best character. He was the best
character. He is played by the comedian. Yeah,
the comedian who's also in the newest Ghostbusters,
Frozen Empire. Yes, he is. He plays the... Fire
person or whatever it is. He's the guy who's
trying to sell the orb or whatever it is he's
got. That's it. It turns out his aunt is the
one that was protecting them all from it. Yeah,
yeah. It's just really, really difficult to enjoy.
Yeah. It's a shame because between that and Will
Smith, it's kind of ruined Men in Black. Yeah.
Hasn't it? And I mean, can I just say as well?
Yeah. I know we don't normally moan about these
things. Us? Not moaning? That sounds very odd.
But it was just so... Why did you have to put
this bit in there? Men in Black? Oh, don't go
there. I've had that argument already. It's like,
why do you even need to have that? Oh, yeah,
all that fucking shit. Oh, yeah, shut up. Yeah,
it could have just been left. It could have just
been, just ignore it. It's fine. Be called Men
in Black. I've never heard anyone moan about
it being called Men in Black. It was the first
time I've ever heard anybody moan about it. Anyway,
I've had enough about talking about it. I wasn't
impressed by it. Boring. What a shame. It was
a waste of a license. I don't think there'll
be another one ever because of that. No, I don't
think there would be. I think we should have
an episode at some point where we try and write
what would our Men in Black International be.
It wouldn't be that. What's up with that guy?
This is a long one. Sorry, everyone. I hope you're
all strapped in for that. So we have got a first.
Next episode and the episode after, it is a two
-parter. The next episode is a two -parter. You'll
get the first half in the next episode and the
second half will be the episode after that. And
the reason being is we're watching two films
that are connected. We're watching War of the
Worlds, the original first, 1953. Yeah. And then
we're going to watch War of the Worlds, Tom Cruise,
2005. A much -loved film by me. Now, I've never
seen the original. So that would be really good.
The 53 one used to scare me as a kid. I used
to watch that as a young child and it would scare
me. So I'm genuinely really looking forward to
watching that. I think it's like an hour and
a bit. It's not very long. I don't even think
it's an hour and a half. No, I think you're right.
I think it is actually a very short one. I think
it's like an hour and 20. But that of the time.
Yeah, it suits us as well for doing two. So yeah,
there'll be two episodes, which does mean that
I'll be... Just because of things going on outside
of the podcast, there'll only be one guest intro.
It'll be a special guest intro. I'll tell you
about it on the next episode. But yeah, so if
anybody wants to watch along with us, then yeah,
it's going to be The War of the Worlds from 1953
and War of the Worlds from 2005. That's it. Yes,
next session. I was going to say something, but
I'm going to leave it for the next bit. Why are
you wearing pink trousers? I've been doing so
well. I've been doing so well recently and I'm
just stumbling over my fucking words. So before
I say goodbye, there's somebody I want to say
hello to. I've not mentioned this person at any
point, any time, ever, but I was on Good Pods
earlier. Just having a look around, as I do,
I like to just check up on the shows, how they're
doing. I look at you, me, I look at the other
studio, Channel 84 guys, you know, who takes
their socks off and... Fuck, I've done the wrong
way around again. Fucking lightly used. I'm so
sorry, everybody. And I like to see where everyone
is on the charts because I'm a bit like that.
And there's somebody who seems to listen to pretty
much every single one of the sci -fi show. I'm
going to give them a shout out. Name's Keb. Hello,
Keb. If you do actually listen, Keb, thanks for
listening. Keb has their own podcasts, which
I'm going to tell you what they are now. The
Stupid History Minute, where they do little bits
of history and they're all one minute long. It's
quite good, actually. Oh, OK. Yeah, I listened
to a few of them today. And Unfiltered Sports
Weekly. Now, I've got to say, Seb, sorry, I haven't
listened to that one. I think it's to do with
baseball. Yeah, I'm not a sports person anyway.
I love sport, but I haven't. I have no idea about
baseball. I only say that because I can see it's
the number one in the top 100 baseball all -time
charts on GoodPods. So well done to you, Seb.
So hello, if you do listen. I'm just stalking
you on GoodPods. So that's it. We're done. This
is a long one. It is a long one. Oops. Yeah,
we had a lot to talk about, and I'll add the
little bit. As I said, I'll add the WhatsApps
at the end. after all the music and all that
jazz just if you are interested in listening
to what we originally said to each other about
the switch pretty much cover what we say here
i think i do rant on a bit about the terms of
service and stuff but yeah so who are we we are
the the untitled sci -fi show and the variety
show we are part of the studio channel 84 network
of indie podcasts along with lightly used with
adam and karen i'm supposed to say it that way
around apparently so it's karen and adam karen
and adam and adam and karen karen adam and who
takes the socks off with ross and simon i'm doing
it that way down this time they're gonna tell
me off too uh yeah you can find us or all of
us all all six of us can be found on channel
84 .co .uk and you can email us at podcasts at
channel84 .co .uk. You can email me directly
at rob at untitledscifishow .co .uk. Not the
Untitled Sci -Fi Show. No, just Untitled Sci
-Fi. Untitled Sci -Fi Show .co .uk. Or at channel84
.co .uk for work. Yep. Or Tom, which will be
TJ at thevarietyshow .co .uk. So it's the first
time I've said it. Yeah. Or again, at channel84
.co .uk. Our old addresses still work. That's
fine. You can find us both on X, Blue Sky. We've
got Facebook. We've got a Reddit page as well.
I do check it occasionally. I have been checking
it. That's a good way of contacting us directly.
We've got Discord. Again, we don't go on it as
much as we used to, but it's still there. There
are other people who listen. Chat with them on
there. It's great. Everyone's lovely. Send me
your answers to this week's Guess the Intro.
Which you haven't said what it is. What is this
week's? It's no special. It's just... It's just
Guess the Intro. Okay, fair enough. Back to bog
standard Guess the Intro. Sorry, no special this
time. No, no, no. That's fine. It could be anything.
It could be a TV show. It could be a film. But
as always, it is sci -fi or as close to sci -fi
Jason as I can possibly make it. Yeah. Eventually
I'm going to run out of ideas. There may be like
doubles. I'm waiting for the day for Short Circuit
turns up in it. Or Short Circuit 2. One of them.
No, it's been on it. Short Circuit's been on
it. Has it? Right at the start, I think. Oh,
you're probably right, actually. Yes, yes. Johnny
Five hasn't been on it. Specifically, his voice
hasn't been on it. That's it. Yeah, as I said,
two War of the Worlds. Send in your answers.
And one World Cup, doodah. And one doodah, doodah.
Send in your answers against each other. I love
you, bye -bye. Bye. Thank you for listening to
the Untitled Sci -Fi Show. This station is now
shutting down and will be back in two weeks.
May the Force live long and prosper inside of
you. This was a Studio Channel 84 network show.
To find more, head over to channel84 .co .uk
now. Good morning, darling. We completely missed
another point on my call sheet, which to be fair,
we wouldn't have fit in the main episode. So
this is a WhatsApp voice message that I'm going
to turn into a bonus episode of some sort at
some point with your voice replies too, please.
So the Switch 2 was released yesterday, or at
least it was released this week. And I think
the first thing that's worth noting, there is
still stock in the UK. that you can go out and
buy today that speaks volumes to me compared
to the playstation 4 playstation 5 xbox uh 360
the xbox um one the xbox series x and s all of
those you could not buy on launch day if you
could they were sold out by nine in the morning
this the switch 2 had a midnight release and
there is still stock available now i don't put
that down to nintendo just making loads of consoles
i put that down to people aren't going to buy
it as much as they think they were so that was
point number one point number two the microsoft
terms and not microsoft sorry the nintendo terms
and conditions have changed did you see this
that they now consider when you buy your switch
to you are buying it as a licensed device. So
you are actually just buying the device and the
money is really going towards a license allowing
to use that device. So if you then modify your
Switch 2 in any way, and I have a feeling if
they find out a way of detecting if you're using
one of those flash carts, that will be considered
modifying. They are legally allowed to brick
your device. Because if you look at the terms
and conditions of the purchase, all you're doing
is buying the right to use Switch hardware in
games. You're not actually buying the hardware.
The hardware remains their property, and they
can do what they want with it. So if you fuck
around with it, they'll just brick it, destroying
it, and there's no comeback from you on it. I
mean, that's just disgusting to start with. Then,
do you remember virtual game cards? The games
that you could buy on the Switch, and if you
had two kids at home and you had two Switches,
you could buy one game and the virtual card would
allow them to play it at the same time, yeah?
Made sense, didn't it? Say you bought Mario Kart,
you got two kids, you're not going to pay £60,
£70 for the game twice. But they could play the
game, they could have fun, brilliant. Yeah, Switch
2, you now need to buy multiple games. The whole
virtual card thing doesn't work anymore. It's
all about you've got to have the game each if
you want to play it at the same time. So, yeah,
a little bit more money -making there. To be
fair, though, I'll be corrected on that, as I
find it hard to believe that they'd let you play
the game at the same time, but I do vaguely remember
those adverts. And finally, and this is the one
that made me laugh, if you buy the Switch 2 and
you have £8 of money spare, then you can buy
the Welcome to the Switch 2 game, which teaches
you how to use the console for £8. putting that
in um let's just put that in context of the playstation
5 you've got this awesome game where you play
as the little ps5 mascot included for free astro's
playroom there you go that's what it was called
totally 100 free fully built game showed all
the power of the console excellent excellent
excellent switch and nintendo want you to pay
eight pounds for their equivalent it's just shite
hello mate g'day so what i did i did think this
actually that we should talk about the switch
to so why i just want to quickly for at least
my brain my opinion on my driving by the way
so sorry the van my opinion on the terms of service
stuff is that it doesn't hold up in court a lot
of it and it's been proven by cases i think a
lot of time in america where people have have
taken surveys to court over terms of service
not being fair and one and the reason being i
if i go and buy a switch this is the first time
i've heard of this from you so if i went and
bought i can't agree to a terms and conditions
license after the fact point of purchase so if
i've gone to a shop or amazon or wherever i'm
buying it from and paid the £400, I'm sure it
costs, who knows, for the console. I now own
it. Surely, if they're putting stuff in and saying,
oh no, actually, when you brought that, you weren't
buying it, you were renting it. That needs to
be made clear at point of purchase. Not at point
of turning the console on when you turn it on.
Because I think you will have a lot of struggle
if you brought something like a switch, took
it home, opened it up, then read the terms and
conditions or terms and circumstances, whatever
they fucking call it. Sorry. Then it tells you,
oh no, you're actually just renting this. I wonder
how many of those refunds will actually be allowed.
You know, whether these people will go, oh no,
you brought it. You know, because you're not
returning it because it's faulty. You're returning
it because you have a disagreement with some
arbitrary... Which, as well, they change whatever
the bloody hell they like and then force you
to accept it. And there isn't, like, it's not
realistic for people to... I'm sure that was
what one of the courts said. It's... not with
some other terminology the courts will use but
basically you can't expect people to be reading
700 pages of conditions that are all in legalese
that no one understands and aren't fair i don't
i think that they can put all this stuff in there
but let me tell you if i ever buy a switch too
and they start telling me i can't do something
i'll just wait till it gets um Cracked, and I'll
crack it. Or send it to someone and crack it
for me. You know, I don't care. That's exactly
what I've done with my 3DS. You're going to turn
the store off? Well, fuck you then. I want to
have access to all these games still. So I went
and learned how to crack it, cracked it, and
now I've got all the games. It's been taken away
from me. You know, it's just... Nintendo, all
of them, are really bad for this. And this is
the way it's going. It's why I write those things,
those articles. This is going to cause me to
write another one this way. about, you know,
physical media being so much better. I totally
understand the stores and all that and having
access to these things. You can have it quickly.
Supposedly, we should be cheaper because, you
know, you now don't have the distribution costs,
the packaging costs, all that. Well, that saving
was never passed to the customers, was it? I
bet you the bloody... Mario Kart on their Nintendo
store was probably still 80 quid, just like the
cartridge. I remember they used to make PlayStation
games, probably still are, more expensive on
the PlayStation store than if you went to a shop
and bought it brand new on disc. Tell me how
that works. Anyway, Switch 2, right? Let's get
back to the Switch 2. You've had my opinion now
on the terms and conditions or whatever the hell
they call it in terms of service. The Switch
2, so... I'm a person that does suffer from FOMO.
Now I can tell you I have no FOMO for the Switch
2. The only reason I'll be getting a Switch 2
is when a new Legend of Zelda comes out. And
a proper one. You know, like Breath of the Wild
proper one. So not Tears of the Kingdom of Witches.
It's apparently a very good game, I've only played
a little bit. Not just using the same engine
and just rebranding it and just changing the
story. I want a full, realised, new one. And
that would draw me to it. But I've got to be
honest, I'm really not that bothered by it, particularly
not right now. You know, maybe if T came to me
when he's older, in a few years, and said, oh,
Dad, I really would like to play these games
on the Switch 2, could we get one? Then maybe
I'd get one for us to share. But right now, no,
I'm not really interested. i haven't even watched
like unboxings or watch videos the only game
on it at the moment i'm even partially interested
in this mario kart but that's not going to be
going anywhere is it and i think there's probably
a lot of people the same you know that's why
they've still got it all on the shelves still
because yeah there's no way they overstocked
no way these people these companies they live
on fomo they need to drive that kind of like
Oh, this person's got it. Oh, I really wish I
could get it. Oh, I'd better put my pre -order
in for the next shipment. Oh, you know, there's
going to be, there's none of that. I don't know
anyone talking about it. You know, we all talk
about gangsta all the time. You know, I haven't
heard any of us talk about it this week, other
than, oh, it's coming out. But when it came out
yesterday, Thursday was the day it came out,
so I'm talking to you Friday, for those who want
to date this chat. It was just out. There was
no lead up to it. I completely forgot about it.
Not the Switch 1. I pre -ordered that Switch
1. I was super excited about it. I went and got
it the next day. I couldn't do the midnight release
of it. I went in the morning the next day. You
know, made all the terrible purchases like 1,
2, Switch and all that. Bomberman on the Switch.
Dreadful bloody games. Oh my gosh, dreadful games.
Yeah, because it was a brand new idea. for a
nintendo console whereas now the switch 2 is
to me just feels like an iteration it feels like
an xbox one x it's their version of the xbox
one x can play the same game could play nicer
games too you know has a nicer screen has you
know a better designed um controller clicky thingy
you know and all that's great but when like us
you've got things like the lenovo or the steam
i've got a handheld now which is so good yeah
it doesn't have the first party nintendo games
but right now there isn't a first party nintendo
game i'd really like to get so you know and even
then when new zelda comes out am i gonna buy
a 400 pound console for a new zelda i'm not sure
there's gonna need to be more stuff than that
you know i think that there's a lot of people
like that you know if they if they come out with
this right not just hd up scales of their last
two self games for an extortionate amount of
money by the way and i don't know if they're
doing this but i really think that they should
have a thing where if you already own it do what
playstation do like i did for the last of us
part two you already own it okay just give us
a tenner and you can have the digital version
of the hpv I bet you Nintendo haven't done that.
I bet you Nintendo have charged you 65, 70 quid
for a game that the people who are interested
in those games have already got. And the only
people I can think in my brain who are buying
those remastered versions of it are influencers
and YouTubers, you know, because they're not
old enough. The rest of the world is not old
enough to be having a HD upscaled remastered
thing. As much as that is an absolutely fantastic
game, it is. I adore it. It's one of my favourite
Zelda games. It is not long enough between when
that game came out and now. It should be the
next Nintendo console. Hopefully it's not going
to be the Switch 3. Hopefully they'll come up
with a different idea. You know? And then bring
Breath of the Wild out again. It's kind of like
what they did with you know, some of those are
the oldest of like wing wake and twilight princess
a long period of time before they remastered
them and tweaked them but but more they needed
modernizing to newer controls and stuff then
just well this is more graphic than i'm assuming
i don't really know anyway i'm starting to lose
track just like to rant this has been going on
for nearly 10 minutes so yeah i don't have the
through missing out basically what i'm saying
not really fussed by it i'll wait until there's
a new zelda a new actual proper mario game and
not just a rehash of the last mario as much as
that is a perfectly great mario game i loved
it i they need to make a new um yeah so that's
it really very missing out i don't think it's
there that sort of service stuff while i do bollocks
i don't think i'll hold up a call and that's
it I hope you can hear all this because I'm not
going to do nine minutes, 30 something seconds
again. Love you. Bye bye.