Hello? Oh, it's you. What have they done now?
Ugh. Okay. Leave it with me. For fuck's sake.
Always the same with these two twats. Look, give
me a moment whilst this statement comes through
the fax machine. The Chipmunk has requested,
contrary to Rob's wishes, that a certain joke
be removed from today's episode, stating Article
44, Subsection 3, Clause 9, 2, b, of the Studio
Channel 84 Human Resource Accord. whilst censorship
is not something the chipmunk supports it is
believed that this joke comes in direct violation
of the aforementioned clause and thus shall be
removed from the following broadcast the joke
will henceforth be known as the event in all
other correspondence on this matter It should
also be known that it is not company policy to
accept monetary dispensation for access to the
event, and all mentions of this are not supported
by Studio Channel 84 or their parent company,
Business Incorporated. As usual, please direct
all queries on this matter to the podcast's designated
complaints department at the email patronzaint
at channel84 .co .uk. Thank you for your time
regarding this matter sincerely, The Chipmunk.
Right, with that out of the way, let's get on
with the show. Why did you judge me? You killed
innocent people! The means to an end! You started
a massacre! I caused a revolution! You betrayed
the law! LAW! ambassador. We come in peace. Want
to get down on us? Hello and welcome to the Untitled
Sci -Fi Show. The smoothest setup I have ever
seen. I know, you weren't even that involved
other than checking I made the lines exactly
in the right position, which I was actually doing
anyway. Welcome to OCD. Yeah, because the OCD
hour. I've got a joke to tell you before we start.
Oh no, is it a dad joke, a rude joke or a random
joke? Uh, all of the above? Winning! So there's
three... I've written notes because I'm quite
bad with the memory. So it's three old guys in
an old people's home. Right. Ancient guys. The
first man says, you know, I just really wish
that I could just go for a number one and it
just not come out in drips and drabs and forced
and just be really, you know, just no flow. So
frustrating. And then the second man says, you
know what? I just wish I could have a decent
number two. You know, it's just it's so difficult
to go now and it's small and frustrating. It's
just I'm just not getting there. And the third
man goes, I don't know what your problem is.
Every day, 7 .30 a .m., I do a number one and
it's as powerful as the Niagara Falls. And every
day at 7 .35, I do a number two, which is as
beautiful and large as Mount Everest. And the
first man says to him, so what's your problem?
And the third man says, well, I don't get out
of bed till nine. I could tell you an old person,
but you'd have to beep the entire thing. Get
ready to beep. So there's poor, old, sad Dan,
and he lives in a care home. What was your life
like before? Before? Before it was changed by
Allegra Geller. I operated a gas station. You
still operate a gas station, don't you? Only
on the most pathetic level of reality. Okay,
everybody. It's recording. I was going to say
otherwise. Valentino just cut in and say a really
bad joke over the top of it. Yeah, I'm thinking
TJ doesn't want that joke to be aired, so it
might be a Kofi special. Subscribe on Kofi and
you may hear that joke. No promises. Okay, so
guess the intro. Guess the intro. That was over
20 minutes last week. Guess the intro. Great
news. Yes. We have two winners. We do. Two winners
of Guess the Intro. One is an old friend of ours
and the other is a new friend and I have a song.
I've just got a message that says, can you help
me please? Oh dear. Give me one second. Right,
so you jinxed us there by saying only 20 minutes.
Right, okay. So, what was I saying? Yes, two
winners. One is an old friend of mine, someone
you know through the podcast as well. And the
other one is a time traveller. He is a time traveller.
This person, who was the first person to send
it in, has now got the record for the fastest
entry by the fact that they actually sent it
in the day before it was released. We've got
to say, technically, they are the winner. We
had... Two people that got the right answers,
but the winner was actually our American listener.
Yes, they're from Missouri. Their name is Stephen,
two -time College Media Educator, Hall of Fame
inductee, grammar purist chapel. Nice. That is
a grammar purist on blue sky, everybody. Stephen
Chappell, I think he's a fairly regular listener.
He does comment. He's on the list for Trek Roulette
when I get round to it as being a guest on Trek
Roulette. We'll get there eventually, everybody.
One day. But well done. Well done, Stephen. Yeah.
As I said, just because of time differences,
technically you sent it in six hours before it
was actually released. So well done. And the
other one is, can you guess? No. Oh, Stiddy?
Stiddy. Oh, Stiddy. We'll have to wipe his name
out because don't get a shout out. And the other
one, Stiddy, yes, Stiddy got them all, yeah.
Hang on, you'll beep his name, but you won't
beep my joke. No, absolutely not. I will not
be beeping your joke. I'm going to keep beeping.
Right, should we get on with it? This is definitely
the unhinged podcast. Okay. Let's get the file
up. Are we ready? We are. Look, I'm not even
looking at my notes for this one. That is Predator.
Of course it's Predator. Well done. Easy one.
What have they done to the new Predator? Oh,
I know. Yeah. So, okay. I am not a purist by
any means, and it makes me laugh that I've read
so many comments now on this new Predator. Why
does it look so human -like, blah, blah, blah.
So it's meant to be a runt, apparently. Okay.
There's meant to be, according to what everyone's
saying, and because of Prey, which I still haven't
watched, apparently it's very good. Apparently
it's very good, yeah. There are different clans
of Predator, so they all look different. Which
I understand. We all look different. It makes
sense. I know they're not all meant to look like
the Predator from Predator 1. I think they are.
However, all of the purists are going on, oh,
well, you obviously haven't read all the comics,
blah, blah, blah. The comics came after the film.
The film was 86. Concrete Jungle, which was the
first comic, 87. So, sorry, if you want to go
by purist and lore... Actually, it's the films.
So Predator 1 and 2 are what we expect of a Predator.
Not some very human looking because it just didn't
look good. Sorry, everyone. The cat's here pushing
on the mic arm. I have an opinion on it and my
opinion is not going to go on air. Again, subscribe
to the Ko -Fi and you'll get my true opinion
of why that monster looks the way it does. Anyway,
next. Not again. Yep, yep, I know, I know. Okay,
okay, I'll handle it. Look, don't make me go
through this again. I know what he means. You
know what he means. We all know what he means.
He is a fucking prick. Let's just leave it at
that. I'm not a fool, Plissken. Call me Snake.
So that was Escape from New York. Of course it
was, yeah. Haven't seen that one in years. I
have never seen it, so... The cat is now pressing
buttons on the screen. Oh, for God's sake. It's
fine, it's not. Stop the recording. You are a...
It's a different one. This is Stripes. This is
not the one who normally says hello to you. No,
this isn't. I was going to say. This isn't the
one that's normally biting me if I stop stroking
it. No, this one will draw on you instead, so
be careful. Oh. Okay, next one. A wet pussy.
Anyway, breathe liquid so you can't get compressed.
The pressure doesn't get you. You mean you got
liquid in your lungs? So that is the abyss. I
picked that because of what you did say. Because
of our conversation. When we recorded with the
Cheap Show Boys, we were chatting with Sean and
Ethan from Shut Up and Answer the Question. And
we were talking about 80s films. And then we
were talking about the abyss and how the liquid
actually is real. And they really did that scene
on the abyss with the rat making it breathe liquid.
horrible idea but it was horrible to watch yeah
because i was watching it on youtube to get the
audience oh god i don't remember this being as
horrible to watch as it was and yeah it was yeah
awful i felt really sorry for that rat how many
assholes we got on this ship anyhow Now, I seriously
edited that clip because there's a lot of time.
There's still a bit more coming back to it. I'm
surrounded by assholes. Yeah. There's a lot of
people going, oh, so there's lots of like talking
around. I've got to cut this down. Yeah. Spaceballs.
Spaceballs. Of course it is. With the giant comb.
With the giant comb. The only true wisdom consists
in knowing that you know nothing. Come on. Bill
and Ted's bogus journey. Excellent journey. Sorry,
not bogus. Yeah. Excellent adventure. Excellent
adventure. And that's the bit where they meet
Socrates. Oh, I don't remember which bit it was.
It's either that bit or it's when they're. They're
doing their speech in the... Yeah, in the auditorium.
Yeah, it could be the speech or Socrates. I don't
think it's the Joan of Arc section. No, the other
thing is. No, it's one of those two. It's because
it's got the guitars playing. Yeah, good point.
So I think that's the auditorium. Brilliant film,
though. Oh, great. Excuse me. I have to go. Somewhere
there is a crime happening. Well, I picked this
one by accident because I realised I'd already
done it. RoboCop. RoboCop, yeah. I realised after
I made the whole thing, I was like, oh, I've
actually already done RoboCop. Never mind. Yeah,
original RoboCop film, absolutely brilliant.
Can't beat it. As much of the new RoboCop film
that they released was very PG -13. It was enjoyable.
Some very clever moments in it when they reveal
what's left of him. Absolutely brilliant. The
rest of it just falls a bit flat, especially
compared to... original robocop like when he
runs into the man who's covered in the toxic
waste and it just explodes into liquid across
the front of the car cannot beat that moment
yeah well there we go so well done uh grammar
purist and well done steady did you hear me chinese
waiter we want the special the special is for
special occasions i cannot give you the special
So, what have you been watching? What have you
been doing? What's going on? Really not much.
It's just been a really hectic week. I've started
playing Red Dead Redemption 2. Yes, you did.
I hate the snow. I cannot wait for the snow to
fuck off, so I have a free world to wander around
rather than having to do pointless, boring missions.
I think, well, there's a lot of stuff. I think
the general consensus was Act 4 is the best place
to explore. either act four or act six there's
a point in time where you get to a certain way
in the story where you kind of you're not past
a point of no return with with your character
so that it's a really good it is and everything's
opened up to you right okay so i can't remember
if it's four or six i'll have to look up for
you so no spoilers for you i know that i've got
a long way to go with and i will stick it out
because i am enjoying it and it's so good it's
just having come from when i played the original
red dead which really it was like one or two
very short missions at the beginning and then
really you were just free to go around and do
what you want and that was phenomenal so a little
bit disappointed that i've had to kind of go
into and i think people have to make between
four and six hours of yeah on the rail snow crap
um i already pissed off the people i'm with by
opening fire on the irish fam the driscolls yeah
i opened fire before he said anything and he's
like what are you doing and then we just annihilated
them so oops yeah but otherwise um I think that's
really it. I haven't done much. There's not been
any sci -fi I've been watching. I've not even
really had that much of a chance until I watched
the film we're talking about today to watch anything.
It's been a bit of a quiet one for me. Okay.
Well, I hope you do stick out with Red Dead because
I think it's quite slow -paced in some points,
but that's not a bad thing. It feels like it's
a lot more cinematic, so you've got to really
want to be involved in it. You've got to want
it, yeah, yeah, yeah. So, yeah, I will stick
it out. As soon as you're out the snow bit and
interact too, or rather act one out of the tutorial
area, you... You can just go around wherever
you want. It's just I think that a lot of the
mechanics aren't open to you yet. Like the collection
stuff and all those kind of things might not
actually quite be open up to you yet. So there's
no point. See, what I'm looking forward to is
just going hunting. That's what I want to go
and do. Well, there's two different kinds of
hunting in the game. There's hunting and then
there's like the big beast hunting. Right. It's
like hunting a boss. Oh, okay. They are fucking
cool. Yeah, like the bear ones are really good.
So again, that's what I'm looking forward to.
Moving away from Red Dead, the only other thing
I would say then that's kind of sci -fi -ish,
well, geekish, and I think we said that we'd
talk about geeky stuff as well. I have been using
iPhones since the iPhone 3GS. Yep. I've had every
iteration of the iPhone since then. I've even
had the iPhone 16 Pro Max, which I only got in
October. I am so bored. And sick of what Apple
are doing, I have actually moved to Android.
And I'm struggling, but I'll get there. And I
don't think I'm going to go back to the iPhone.
But I still love Apple. I still love how the
whole user system interacts with everything.
So the iPhone works so beautifully with the MacBook.
That all worked beautifully with the iPad. And
it was just all tied together really, really
nice. But what was getting me, and I don't know
if anyone else has noticed this, that use iPhones.
But things have been changing since about iOS
17. And I know I've got fat fucking fingers.
I know that. But the keyboard in the past two
iterations of the OS have become from one or
two mistakes every few messages to almost every
message I make about 10 % of the words are in
error. You know what? I've got to say, I've got
an iPhone for work. It's one of the smallest
over there somewhere. I do spelling mistakes
on that constantly. There's something about...
i don't know the placement of it i mean okay
it's a much smaller phone than my seven but it
yeah it i do a lot of mistakes but i never used
to that's the thing i never used to make mistakes
so i don't know what changed but moreover i found
that the promise of apple intelligence and it
just being absolutely shit it's nowhere near
the quality of any other ai out there i would
even say that meta ai is better than apple intelligence
and that's pretty ropey yeah um i would then
find that app crashes used to be something that
you didn't really get you might get one in a
blue moon and really was a blue moon moment thing
really regular now apps crashing out not working
and i just thought you know what i'm so bored
of this as well there's nothing new there's nothing
exciting about this yeah i keep looking at the
year by year the android releases and seeing
what my boss and the others are using inside
That's a really cool feature. I'd actually quite
like that. I don't want to wait six years for
Apple to bring it out and it to be perfected.
I'd want to have a play with it now. So, you
know, I'm on a Pixel 9 Pro XL. Yeah, you got
the sexy one. And it's quite nice. I'm enjoying
it. Yeah, SideQuest Mark and I have had Google
phones since the Nexus days. My last Apple phone
that hasn't been a work one was the 4 something.
When they added the fifth row. Right, yeah, yeah,
yeah. So I had a 4, and then I got the next one
when they added the fifth row, and I gave it
back. And I said, this is ridiculous. It was
a brand new phone. The only upgrade to it was
an extra line of apps. And I just didn't see
that as a worthy upgrade. So that's when I think
I got the Nexus 4 instead, and that's when I
went Android. Ooh, the Nexus, I remember that.
That's when I went Android, and I still have...
One of them which I use is T's phone and it's
the one that's got the finger scanner on the
back. Oh, I remember that one. Now let me tell
you how much better that is than being on the
front because when you've just got it in your
hand and you can just, because what you could
also do, you could swipe it up and down and that
would bring the toolbar down from the top and
stuff. Whereas I find with these ones, just with
my line of work, I get a lot of cuts on my thumbs
just from the little fiddly cables and things
and lots of dirt in them. I constantly have to
relearn my thumb. yeah and stuff i never had
to do that on that back one no you see that's
a really nice touch now the nexus funnily enough
that was a motorola phone yeah motorola made
them and look at motorola now they make basically
really budget android phones and that's it it's
one of these companies that used to be really
out there oh and sorry we've got the razor has
come back onto the market so you can now buy
a fully pledged premium android smartphone in
razor form which is quite cool um but no yeah
the pixel 9 pro has got a ultra uh what's it
an ultrasonic sensor beneath the screen so obviously
not good for you but uh as i said to you earlier
the face recognition is now what they call a
level three biometric so you can use it for banking
you can use it for all of those and it's been
amazing it's been just as quick as the face id
for apple really i put my phone up by the time
it's screen has come on it's unlocked yeah i'm
I can get a new one now, but both Mark and I
are both waiting for October for supposedly the
10. So I would say you're going to see the X
release in the next couple of months, or at least
it's going to go on pre -order. I got this at
a heavy discount on Amazon. I was looking at
getting the Fold, and I kept thinking, will I
get the Fold, will I get the Fold, will I get
the Fold? And I just thought, I've got a giant
iPad. I don't need the Fold, so I'm not going
to. You can't get stock of anything. If you look
at Google's site, almost all the standard 9s,
so the 9, the Pro, the Pro XL, only certain colours
and sizes are available now. Everything else
is marked sold out. The Fold is sold out pretty
much everywhere and it's just refurbished or
stupidly high money from private sellers because
they know. That's a sign that a new one's coming.
Exactly. So it's a sign they've run down the
stock. Okay. Yeah, sorry. On to you. Those are
sterilised, aren't they? Not to worry. The way
they set things up, you could fire in a bioport
and a slaughterhouse and never generate an infection.
Then why the clean overalls? Pussycat, pussycat,
stop headbutting the screen. You'll get your
gooey face all over it. What have I been doing?
So, more of the same games, really. A little
bit more of Clear Obscure, a little bit more
of Oblivion. Both of them have now taken a sideline
because of your fucking fault. saying that you
wanted to play stardew valley on your phone so
i've had it for so long and i've never really
got into it i've always played it like i played
it on my phone too for a little bit i was like
oh didn't like on the phone and then i got it
on the switch and i never really just got into
it i was like oh yeah okay this is harvest moon
i used to love harvest moon and you said that
i was like you know what i'm gonna put on the
deck i'll just download on the deck i already
own it so i'll just put it on there and i've
played it Every day for the last, what, how many
days ago? Did you tell me four or five days ago?
It would have been back on Saturday or Sunday
when I got the phone. Every evening. And like
that first two nights, I was up to like midnight
or half twelve still playing. I've got to go
to bed. What am I doing? Just watering fucking
plants. My turnips are growing. Yeah. So I've,
yeah, I've been playing a lot of that. I also
had a little go on that precinct demo as well.
I did bin it off of the mobile. I didn't like
it on mobile. No, it's not good on mobile. I'll
try it on the Legion. Try it on your Legion.
The only thing I did enjoy was naming my farm
Shitsville and saying my favourite thing was
sodomy. And I was really hoping that it was going
to be your grandfather left something in his
will for you. He's left you this farm and your
favourite thing, sodomy. Yeah, I don't think
it means anything, your favourite thing. Yeah,
I don't think it is. I was disappointed by that,
unless it does turn up later. I think what the...
A problem, I think, with the game is it doesn't
actually hold your hand enough. I'm already looking
at the wiki going, what am I supposed to do?
Like, it's like, oh, it's now time for the spring
dance, OK? I haven't met everyone in town yet.
I don't know how really to interact with anybody
at all. I'm like... I didn't know there was a
button for crafting. I didn't know the start
menu was there, pretty much, where you can then
tab through everything. Oh, I had no idea that
was there, because basically I got to the point
where it's like day one. So I went around and
cleared a huge area. And then you're out of energy.
So I thought, okay, I'll go and quickly plant
some turnips. And then I'll remember it saying,
return to the house if you need to eat to get
your energy back. So I thought, oh, okay, I'll
go back to the house. How do I eat? Can you do
that? I didn't go to sleep in your house. I'm
sure that's what it said. So, you know, exactly.
That's what ended up. It's like, it's 12 .01
p .m. I'll go to sleep then. Yeah, I've had some
days like that where I've planted, I've tilled
all the ground, planted all the stuff, watered
it all, cleared a bit. It's only 10 a .m. I've
got no energy. I'll bed then. What can I fucking
do? I haven't got any food. I'm sure it says
you're meant to eat to get energy and you can
eat in the house. Oh, okay. Right. Well, I'm
in summer already, so I should probably, my guy's
probably bloody starving. I've got chickens though.
One's called Chip and one's called Prudence,
I think. I'd have to call one Strips and the
other Nugget. Yeah, I did think about stuff like
that, but I can never bring myself to do it.
Yeah, so I've played the Precinct demo, which
looks like the old GTA games. That does look
very cool. Runs like shit. It's pre -alpha. So
the demo says it's pre -alpha or alpha or something.
Runs like crap. On that amazing laptop that's
yours, that's currently at my house. I had to
put it on like the lowest settings. Really? Because
it was just chugging. But it might have actually
been because I realised I didn't have it plugged
in, the laptop, on power. That would be why.
So I think actually that's what it was because
then suddenly, after I finished playing with
it and I was just kind of getting myself ready
for this, making notes, it popped up saying,
going into power saving mode. I was like, oh,
I wonder if that was why it wasn't plugged in.
That would be why it was chugging. Because don't
forget, I mean, it looks a great game, but that's
a 12, it's an 8 gig 3060, an i7. Well, I thought
it was more just because it was like an alpha
demo that actually it's just not been. You know,
the game's out now. I mean, bear in mind, it
was saying it gets 90 frames a second on the
Steam Deck according to the Steam details. Oh,
I've downloaded the demo for the Steam Deck because
it's £20 at the moment. So if I actually really
like it, I might get it ready for when I go away.
Yeah, I think I'm going to download the demo
and give it a play and then if it's good, I'll
buy it because I like the fact that it looks
like you can just drive around the city and go,
parking ticket, parking ticket, parking ticket.
Yeah, that's probably the story. You go around
and give people parking tickets. It's quite fun.
TV shows I've been watching. So I'm really into
Mobland, which is on Paramount Plus. A Guy Ritchie
series. It's got Tom Hardy in it. That's the
Tom Hardy one with the Harrigans. Yeah, Harrigans.
It's really good, TJ, if you haven't watched
it. It's actually really decent. I was saying
it to some friends of ours down the road. They
watch, I think... They've watched like two episodes
of it, but they've also watched Gangs of London.
It's like, well, if you've seen Gangs of London
and you think that's too gory for you, that's
fine because this isn't like that. It has its
moments, but most of it is actually just being
gangsters and what happens. Not so much cutting
people's heads off every five minutes. I mean,
there's elements of that. There's definitely
bits of it. But, you know, there's a great scene
where someone's chopped up in a box and they're
spending their time going, oh, that's actually,
he's done a really good job there. You don't
see the body really. And then they're commenting
on how large the guy's cock is. It's actually
really quite funny. It's typical Guy Ritchie
humour fitted into a fairly dark scene, which
he does well and he's always done well. You look
at Lockstock, everything like that. He's always
kept that dark sense of humour. He's always had
a bit of a chuckle. A lot of brutal side of it.
And then normally pretty good dialogue. This
is more, the dialogue's great, but this is more
serious, but the dark humour's coming from, you
know, people who are in bad situations and they
bring comedy out. It's called something, isn't
it? It's, you know, supposedly you paramedics
are meant to have it. A morbid sense of humour.
It's got a special name. And what's quite good
is Tom Hardy's character, he's not the mob boss.
He's just like the leader of the grunts. He's
a... He's the fixer, basically. Yeah, I was just
going to say, he's a fixer. He's like the fixer,
which is really nice because you think, I know
they've got some, they've got Helen Mirren in
here, they've got some big fucking... Helen Mirren,
you've got Pierce Brosnan. Yeah, I mean, they're
the heads of one of the families. But have you
watched it? I've only seen TikTok clips. Oh,
okay. I feel like I've seen about a quarter of
it based on TikTok. Yeah, the TikTok clips are
how I found it. Yeah. But yeah, anyway, it's
really good. I really recommend that to anybody
who likes gangster stuff and particularly likes
anything Guy Ritchie does. And the other one
is I watched a bit more Doctor Who. So I didn't
like episode two. I genuinely thought that was
a bad episode. And then episode three, I think
that was the next, like, I think we've only watched
three episodes. It was better, but it was certainly
better than two because I didn't like two. well
it's bringing back a baddie from a tenant episode
yes i've heard about this i don't know who the
bad guy is that they bought so it's just a weird
monster that like in the tenant one it didn't
speak it was like trying to mimic everybody and
learn what they were doing and eventually take
them over and take over the person it was mimicking
and eventually trying to mimic mimic doctor but
it couldn't do it whereas in this one It's not
doing that. It's like stuck to the back of someone.
Right. So you can't see it unless you just kind
of look. I'm doing it to you. This isn't good
for an audio medium. Just look just to the side
of them and then you might see its face wish
past. But if you go directly behind them, to
a 12 o 'clock position behind the person, it
kills you. Nice. Yeah. So it's actually, it was
quite a good, thrilling episode. It's just a
shame it was Shooty that was Doctor and not Tennant.
Yeah, that sounds about right. In fact, Matt
Smith's Doctor would have been better there.
Did he cry again? I think he might have cried.
Yeah, he may have cried. And they did the scene
again where they're like, oh, darling, let's
go change our clothes. Yay! The exact same scene
they literally did in the second episode. It's
just not needed. I know. It's like, yeah, we
get it. You like changing clothes. So fucking
what? Exactly. They kind of highlighted the fact
that he's got entire wings of the TARDIS dedicated
to wardrobes. Yeah, but the joke's good once.
I think they've done the joke every episode.
They certainly did it episode two. And now they're
doing it in episode three. Well, are they going
to do it in four, in five? Probably. Every time
they go to a new dimension, a new year is the...
what are they called? The person that goes around
with him. My brain's not working. His helper.
Companion. Companion, thank you. Are they going
to be like, oh, what about our clothes? Oh, then
we better go to the wardrobe. Yeah. You do the
joke once. Yeah. Then you wait a few episodes
and then you do something stupid like... Wardrobe?
Oh, should we go to the wardrobe? And then just
have the companion go, no, doctor. not after
last night literally you just go to a brief clip
where you've got shooty walking out bare ass
just completely naked it's like you took me to
that nature's planet on purpose we're not going
to the wardrobes this time i mean that would
be funny but what the that's tongue in cheek
it's the sort of thing that's funny what they
would do though i think is they would have a
pile of clothes everywhere. And it'd be like
a changing room in Primark. And it'd be Shooty
just coming in and out constantly. And she'll
just be on one of the chairs, like a husband
just going, oh, for fuck's sake, just pick something.
And he's coming out and all these different guys
go, what about this one? What about this one?
What about this one? What else? I think that
might have been it. Oh, and The Last of Us 2.
I'm really enjoying it. It's getting really slagged
off online. The actress, bless her, it's getting
really slagged off online. I don't understand
why. Fuck you lot. I think it's great. Love you.
Goodbye. I'm not sure. I'm not sure here, where
we are, is real at all. Right. The reason we're
all here. Existence 1999. Existence is paused.
Oh my God, there's so much in this film that
I'd forgotten, particularly the end. I'd forgotten
the end. So can I just point out, I realise I've
never seen it. Oh, okay. I've seen the posters,
I've seen a couple of clips here or there, so
I went into this completely blind and fuck me
is it weird. It's so, can I just say as well,
I think it's really gross. It is a gross, I felt
physically sick any time those back, back holes
were on show. Hang on, hang on. I've just got
to say this. Cronenberg obviously realised, right,
we can't have full penetrative sex on TV. How
can we get away with it? I know, we'll just have
them tongue each other's back holes. Oh, that
was so disgusting when Jude Law went and tongued
her back hole. Her licking her finger and then
fingering him. Yeah. Every single time one of
the ports was on screen, I felt physically sick.
And I'm sorry. But I have a feeling when he finally
gets the working port and they go into the game
shop and they're taken to the back room. The
orange bloke takes them to the back room, doesn't
he? He says, I'll leave you to it. And they insert
the little version of the game pod into their
backs. And they start having sex. I'm pretty
sure it's meant that he's fucking her back hole.
Hence the reason he pulls her back onto him.
Just fucking her? He spins her around? No, I
don't think he's putting his knob in her back.
I think that's what he's doing. I'm not so sure
about that. I think he's filling her spine full
of cum. Topping up her spinal fluid. Oh, I've
got a headache. Integral pressure. What's this
coming out of my nose and ears? Oh, it's so disgusting.
Honestly, I did feel, Miranda stopped watching
it. Like she went off the bed. So I finished
on my own. I think she was getting freaked out
by it as well. All right. So we'll come to the
holes in a minute. This film would not survive
unless it already has done a 4k remastering.
It is of its time. I don't know if it was done
on a. on a fairly strict budget. Cronenberg is
amazing. I loved Cronenberg. I think there is
a Blu -ray version of this. It doesn't mean whether
it's been 4K'd. But there's like, if you look
at Videodrome and all the other Cronenberg films,
this feels very much like that. But this is quite
late on. This was like, what, 99, did I say?
It was 99, I said, yeah. Yeah. So it felt quite
backwards. I mean, look how, did we tell us at
what? Do you want to say, right, before we get
into it, what's the story of Existence? Existence
with a capital X, capital Z. The premise is,
so you're told, is there's this lady who is a
game designer and she's created this new game.
And she's got a group of people to product test
it. Things go wrong. Somebody tries to assassinate
her. the um what are they called the bio the
biopod whatever it's called what are they called
i thought it was a biopod yeah i did write it
down somewhere in my this is the most notes i've
done for any film that we've ever done um and
i can't actually remember yeah it's like this
fleshy gooey thing that looks like it's got a
g spot and then two little nips on it yeah it
definitely looks like a vagina And they wiggle
at it. And then there's like nip. One point he
even flicks the nip. That's how they get in and
out. It's so sexualized. But in a really gross
way. Well, I was considering it like a placenta.
Yeah, I guess it kind of. Because of the umbilicus
coming out of it and all of that. So that is
it, yes. It's this weird pod thing with a cord
which looks like an umbilical cord, which goes
and plugs into your back. quote unquote, it's
just a hole in your back. And it's like, and
Jude Law makes a really good, sorry, I'm going
to get sidetracked really, a point of saying,
you have an open hole into you, how does it not
get infected? And her answer to that was, she
opens her mouth to show him her mouth. As in,
like, yeah, okay, your mouth is an open hole,
but not directly to your spine. Like, that is
an enclosed system that it's going into. Exactly.
It's not like... It's not just a hole in your
back. Yeah. And let's face it, 1999 also saw
the release of The Matrix. That just put a port
in the back of your skull into your brain, but
it was still a nice... sterile it was a mechanical
a mechanical thing you actually felt like it
wasn't just going to let goop drop out or go
in yeah that was a a coupling of mechanical you
know cybernetics and you know exactly you know
that made more sense than this gross thing that
they were doing anyway the only copy of existence
which is the name of the game is on her gooey
pod thing and obviously things go wrong and it
gets corrupted and the whole thing is like, we
need to save this game for whatever reason. You
know, whatever it is. Yeah, so basically she's
got the one copy of the game, she's had a death
mark put on her and they're trying to... All
she wants to do is play her own fucking game
to make sure it's okay after the trauma of everything
that's going on. This was the thing about it.
I was like, she's acting like she doesn't know
the game. I was like, you fucking made the game.
How do you not know how the game goes? I'm going
to just hold my hands up here. I paused it at
the very beginning of the church scene when everyone
got shot and when they're in the game, aren't
they? Oh, absolutely. Immediately I was like,
because I don't even remember the film. I know
I've seen it. It was one of those, like Interview
the Vampire, it was one of those films that was
always on in the middle of the fucking night.
So I'd seen it a million times but never... all
in one go at one time. So I think this might
have been the first time I've watched it beginning
to end. Even though I've seen every section.
As it's a short film, it's one hour, 36 minutes.
Yeah. And I clocked it from the very beginning.
I was like, they're clearly in the game. They're
already in the game. Clearly going to already
be in the game. This is all just a whole load
of bollocks all the way through. And then it
tries to do an inception on you at the end. Are
they really in it or are they not? It's very
inception. Inception took ideas from this. So
if you look at from the end of the film and then
go backwards, you realise they're in the game
to be in the game to be in the game, which is
exactly what Inception did, wasn't it? You've
got to be in the dream to be in the dream. They
try to mindfuck you and make you think, am I
still in it? They were really in a game called
Transcendence. Transcendence, which is such a
90s thing, isn't it? They did a great job with
all the wordplay in this, I will say. 100%. And
whoever made the biopod, whoever made the weird
little lizard creatures that they pull out and
have to gut, the designers of the sets and the
monster creators, they did a really good job,
didn't they? Oh, I mean, it's amazing. I mean,
when they're in the game shop, you've got all
the games dotted around and all the packaging
and they've all got props in them. It's all been
properly vacuum packed and sealed. It's really,
really, really good. It's really detailed. You
cannot take away from that. Yeah. All of that.
And even the gross bioport on their back looks
good. It looks as you'd kind of expect it to
be. They're called game pods. Game pods, right,
okay. I did write it down, yeah. It's just, yeah,
it just... So, she gets... So when they're doing
kind of this like round table thing where they're
getting, it's right at the beginning where they're
telling people that there's this new game and,
you know, you're going to have a go. And then
someone turns up late and it's Jude Law is there.
Like he's acting as if he's like security, but
actually he's not. He's just part of the marketing
team. So he's scanning people's cards to diminish
it down. And this guy has an original game pod
and a really funny looking gross thing. But what
happens is he pulls out. I was calling it the
flesh pistol, but it's like a gun made of bone.
They call it an organic bone gun. The props are
calling that anyway. Yeah, but I was calling
it the flesh pistol or the flesh gun just because
it looked gross. Yeah, and he actually shoots
teeth. What a fucking cool idea. I've got to
say, it probably wouldn't work, but what a great
idea to get through the metal detectors is have
a gun made of bone. Yeah, exactly. It's a very,
very cool idea. And the design of the weapon
was brilliant. And then what a great thing is
later on in the film, you see how that gun is
made. So that was very cool. And that was a repulsive
kind of thing. But what I really liked was, did
you notice that they start playing a second game?
So they go into Existence and they're in the
game shop, aren't they? Yes. And if you look
around, if you look closely on all of the racks
are different games. There are, yeah. And there's
a game called Hit by a Car. Yeah, yeah. Viral
Ecstasy is one of the games. You just said Hit
by a Car. Have you been watching that thing on
Netflix? No. That's called... Oh, no, maybe...
No, that was something else. There's a Tom Segura
show that's on Netflix now. Right. And one of
them in there where he's playing a game and it
was like... but yeah the hit by car is in this
so i was then getting confused okay so yeah there's
hit by a car viral ecstasy and then chinese restaurant
can you escape and obviously they play that game
and that's what's really clever about it it's
like they were in the game shop and they're now
playing a game from the game shop within a game
i quite liked that but you don't Is it because
it's corrupted that that happens? Because I made
that connection too. But they haven't chosen
to play the Chinese restaurant. It's just doing
it. This is the whole thing I never understood
about the entire film. I don't understand how
she's made the game, but she doesn't know what
the fuck's going on. And why does it keep chopping
and changing between things? Once they're in
existence, you'd expect it to stay within existence.
It's not, oh, why am I now in a completely different
scene? Unless it's like... Surely you'd have...
Actually, how to explain this? Well, before we
explain that, so they're in existence and they
put out some very key things that are very regular
in games now. So NPCs are exactly that. They
are non -playable characters and the ones that
you interact with will just sit there on loop
until you say the right thing. And the guy's
literally stood there going, oh, oh, oh, screaming
his head around. So we're expected to believe
that they've gone into that much detail that
they're going to include shit like that. But
we're not going to then get a cut scene which
explains why they've gone from the game shop.
now into the Trout Factory, and then into Chinese
Restaurant Escape Game, there's no explanation
why they moved between those two areas. And that's
a bit jarring. And as you say, if she was the
creator of the game, surely she'd know why. And
still we ever get her saying is, oh, you'll get
used to it. It's just the neural kind of excitement
of it. And that's what then gives you away more
and more that if you didn't get it at the beginning
that... they are just playing the game and they're
already in the game to be playing the game again
and that this is just being generated based on
ideas that are going on in their head at the
actual game level yeah it it was confusing not
so much confusing that you couldn't keep watching
it but confusing enough that when the whole thing
ended i was a bit like do i not understand what's
going on because i'm stupid or did i Was there
something that needed to be a little bit more
explanation for me? I think they thought they
were being clever. And I think the very end bit
when the soldier turns up and destroys the game.
I thought that was a little bit ridiculous. And
then they're literally just stood in a field
with things blowing up around them, talking to
each other. And she blows his spine out, which
is a brilliant scene, by the way, his back exploding.
Yeah. Those squibs are really good. It just felt
like. They got to the point, if you haven't guessed
that they're already in the game at this point,
we're going to make sure you now know it. The
game. Well, that was the most gamey bit because
it felt like, yeah, this is a game character.
This is quite clearly a game character. But this
is after they've had the realisation of them
being in the transcendent. So this is like after
all of that. Well, this is it. Yeah, they've
just unplugged from their game board, which is
now... virus and whatever from the trout factory
they're meant to be in the safe house and that's
when they're then outside they've just killed
ian holmes um and yeah they're just no this is
this no this you've missed a bit so this bit
they're in now is after they've come out of The
transcendence bit. Oh, no, no. I'm talking about
the bit when they're in the middle of the field
tool. So when she blows his back out and you've
got everything. Yeah, but that's how the game,
that's how it ends. Yeah, but that's what I mean.
But that's what I'm saying is the film director
of Cronenberg and everyone basically must have
been thinking, we've got to give them an idea
to make sure if they haven't realised it's still
the game at this point. Yeah, but that's the
thing though. But it's an ending just like what
Inception does where you never see the... The
spinny thing drop. Then they come out and they
kill the actual game designer. And it's like,
yeah, you're still left with the idea of, are
we still in the game? No, I thought they kill
the game designer and then it's the bit where
she kills Jude Law and that's how it ends. No.
After that's how it ended. Are we going to have
to pause it? No, you've gone completely backwards,
mate. She kills Jude Law and then shouts, have
I won the game? And then they all wake up in
the church and they're talking about my roles
and Christopher Eccleston. I've got so fucking
confused. You've got yourself backwards, mate.
So yeah, she blows his back open. Yeah. And then
says, have I won the game? And then it comes
back to the church scene and everyone's discussing
their part in the game. Like the Chinese chef
is basically saying about, oh, the soup's on
me. Ha ha ha ha ha. Sorry, of course. Eccleston,
I was a bit disappointed. Not Eccleston. I think
it's Holmes in Eccleston. but do a little back
and forth about it was such a shame that our
roles were so short. I was a little disappointed
that our role was short and didn't feel like
the character was required. And then they kill
the actual designer. Yeah, because then that's
when it appears on her, sorry. Yeah, because
that's when the transcendence equipment is, yes,
sorry. Then it gets to the point, well, of course
they wouldn't be making a fucking game console
out of a fish. It's a physical device that they're
wearing on their head, which looks a little alien.
Which then makes sense. That's what gives it
away at the beginning of the film. It's like
no one would be genuinely believing that they
were just going to have a port in the back. It
felt very fictional straight away. Well, I think
that proves to you how confused I did end up
being when I was completely not understanding
how the whole fucking thing ended. Stand out.
Characters for me, I thought Willem Dafoe was
brilliant. Right, so yeah, looking at my notes
here, I'm glad you brought Dafoe up because my
notes here is... What was his character called?
His character was called Gas. Yeah, Gas. Do you
think Dafoe even needs directing? No. It's just
like, there's the script, just be you. It's like,
what's his name in... the apple tv show that
we've been watching oh i know the severance guy
severance yeah it's like you don't need to direct
him either he just fucking goes what's that guy's
called i can't think of his name i know who you
made and the world knows you so here's a question
do you think when they're escaping the church
at the beginning you've got really terrible terrible
kind of effect so they've not done green screen
what they've done is they've got a rear projection
screen set up in front of behind the car and
then they're filming them in the car with the
rear projection going so it looks like they're
driving along um and they've just got this this
b footage rolling behind it looks awful yeah
christopher walking by Yeah, it does. It wears
of the era, isn't it? And they just were all
a bit like that. No, but it wasn't. They could
have done it so much better. I'm wondering, did
they do it to give you the idea that they're
in the game, so it's not meant to be quite real?
It's not meant to feel... I don't know. You might
be giving them too much credit. I don't know,
because a lot of it, things like the gas station
and the ski lodge, it's got something very liminal
about it. And with Cronenberg, it wouldn't...
liminal spaces and how they make you feel it
it fits the idea that it's not meant to it doesn't
feel real it doesn't feel like it's meant to
be a natural place so that that liminal feeling
is meant to add to it feeling a bit like a game
i don't know but um it's all a little it just
all feels a little bit odd and i really don't
understand this one okay why does she carry her
game pod around in a ski boot Yeah, I didn't
get that either. Because if you're thinking she's
trying to hide it, she's only carrying one boot.
Yeah, she's carrying one boot with an umbilical
cord hanging out of it most of the time. I think
we know what's in there. Yeah, I didn't get that
either. Some quirky thing. And how 90s was her
hairstyle too? Oh, it's so 90s, the whole film.
The thing that I will say, I'm not the biggest
fan of Jude Law, but his acting in this, going
from the mild -mannered sort of... employee game
character he's playing to then the NPC kind of
character that she's assigned him. The switch
is so good. He's so good at going from this little
mild manner. What do you mean? You're not going
to tell me where you're going. And then suddenly
this complete change in his character and like
emotions. Wow. That's quite good. If I was going
to pick, I was in anyone's acting. If I had to
do that, I think she's probably the worst one
in it. Oh, no, I don't know. I think Ian Holmes
is pretty bad. I love Ian Holmes, but jeez. The
really thick accent, which I know he makes a
joke of in the end by saying, even I couldn't
understand my thick accent. And it's like, yeah,
well, it was pretty bad. They all had accents.
Christopher Eccleston's accent was awful. Oh,
my God, wasn't it? We all know how amazing an
actor he is. To have that accent was like, what's
happening? But wow, what did he look like? Yeah.
Wow, 90s Eccleston is not a good thing to look
at. He aged like one, didn't he? He definitely
got better. Yeah, six years later, we got him
in Doctor Who. He looks fine. Yeah, he's all
right then. Or in Dog Soldiers. He looks good
in Dog Soldiers too. Does he look okay in Gone
in 60 Seconds? I don't remember him being in
Gone in 60 Seconds. He's the bad guy. Is he?
He's the one they're delivering cars to. Maybe
I haven't seen Gone in 60 Seconds. Oh, I love
it. I mean, it's very typical Cronenberg design.
So all the things that you see, so all the mutated
creatures in the trout farm, the game pod itself,
the gun, that is all straight out of Cronenberg's
books, just full stop. And it's all really deeply
unsettling. The bit when they cut open the game
pod and he's poking around and it's like... Yeah,
he did the surgery on it. It felt really uncomfortable
and really not nice to watch. Yeah, I think every
single part where it actually did focus on the
actual mechanics of the game pod, the portholes,
the creatures. Oh, him cutting open the fish
thing, the trap and stripping out the organs.
Yeah, I really felt viscerally sick watching
all of it. I felt very, as I said, I really hated
those back holes. The bioports, I hated them.
And I don't have that hole phobia. You know,
it's got that weird name for people who don't
like holes and stuff. Yeah, I'm vaguely like
that. And I can't think of its name now. But
I think if people did have that, they couldn't
watch this. It was revolting. Every time, my
toes curled up, kind of like, ugh. God, having
a physical reaction to these things, making it
sound like I didn't like the film. I loved the
film. I thought the film was great, even though
clearly I didn't understand what was going on.
Trypophobia or trypophobia. Yeah, so obviously
I didn't understand what was going on. I've proven
that by talking about it for the last 20 minutes
that I didn't know what was happening or even
the order of things. I didn't like the holes.
I didn't think she acted particularly well. She
was quite wooden. Yes. But... willem defoe i
thought was fantastic i really like jude law
gotta say he looks really young in this and he
actually reminded me a little bit of a when he's
playing the um slightly coy employee ted piker
or whatever his name was reminded me of toby
mcguire yeah a little bit yeah i could see that
be interesting to see who actually went for the
role and who didn't get it yeah that would be
an interesting one actually i i Yeah, I agree.
I loved all of the set stuff, as I said. Things
like the actual stuff. Set design was great.
And things like in the game shop. Having all
the games like Hit by a Car, Bass Fishing, Chinese
Restaurant, Bear Attack was another one of the
games you could have played. All of that was
brilliant. It's just, it's a very random story.
If you enjoy being kind of jolted around and
not fully making sense of what's going on. It's
fine. It's an enjoyable film. I wouldn't say
it's for everyone. Not by a long shot. Certainly
not, no. The audio as well. I've got to say this.
The audio is dreadful in that film. One minute,
it's fairly good and you can tell that they're
using an overhead mic and it's actual conversation
going on. And then the very next minute, you've
quite obviously got one of them doing a voiceover
of the clip. And I've got here, audio almost
feels like, at points, It's a foreign dub of
a film where they've obviously fucked the sound
up. So it's just like, right, we've got to do,
can you do that line again and we'll just paste
it over the top. It might have been a scene with
Eccleston or maybe it's Jude Law and it's on
a profile of them both. Yeah, and he's kind of
grabbing her, I think. And clearly the voice
isn't the voice he's saying at the time. It's
quite obvious. It's just not quite right. The
sound quality is a little bit. different than
the rest of the scene but also it doesn't quite
match what he's saying clearly they've dubbed
it in post yeah there's a lot of dubbing being
done i'm guessing they had to re -record because
of either noise on set or something didn't didn't
go quite right um and i just feel it's been done
fairly badly because it is it's very distracting
because it's quite obvious that someone in a
studio has just said a line when the rest of
the sound has got people speaking you've got
background ambience yeah So it's quite cutting.
Have you got much else to say? No, I don't. There's
something I want to say, and I don't know if
you'll agree to this one. It's definitely of
its era. It's definitely of the 90s. I've got
here, it felt like it could have been a better
X -Files or Outer Limits episode than a film.
As much as I enjoyed the film... I think if you'd
put that in the outer limits as a one hour long
episode, you could have done more with it and
I would have probably enjoyed it more knowing
it was part of a TV series than it as a film.
I don't know how you'd get it into the X -Files.
The bioport thing is the thing that takes it
away because how are you going to get that into
a Mulder? I don't know. I think you could probably
get away with it as a one -off episode. Don't
forget we've got episodes like Eugene Toons,
the man who eats a liver every 10 or 20 years
and lives in his own spit -filled cocoon. What
they would do is it actually attached to your
belly button. Yeah. And it would be something
saying that it injects into your belly button
a needle. And that's what they would do. Because
then it gets rid of the bioport thing and you
could put it out and then in the next episode
people wouldn't be going, what happened to his
bioport? Yeah, exactly. It just felt very much
like me. It felt much more of a sci -fi TV show
idea than it would have been a film. And in fact,
you could have even maybe have done it as a two
- or three -part TV show rather than a film.
And you could have maybe then done a bit more
in depth and maybe made it a bit more coherent,
maybe. Maybe one day they will. It wouldn't surprise
me the way we're going. Existence is paused!
So, next time. I haven't told you what we're
doing. No, you haven't. Again, I'm keeping them
secret. My own little precious secrets until
we come to the show. Well, I've got a film I'd
like us to do at some point. So, go on. What
are we doing this time? It is a 1987, I think,
classic. It's a funny one because we've not done
a funny one in a while. Spaceballs. Ah, fair
enough. Good choice. Yeah, we're going to do
Spaceballs. Why not? Yeah. I was thinking we're
going to do Running Man. I keep pushing it back
because you've showed me there's potentially
a new Running Man film coming out. There's the
Running Man film coming out, which is more based
on the book. And if you read what everyone's
saying, the original Running Man film is actually
nothing like the book. Whereas this new one is
going to be very, very much based on the book.
So actually, I'm looking forward to it because
it actually sounds like I might like to read
the book. So the book basically says... the running
man is someone that in the whole world and the
whole world are just told kill this person yeah
so there's no meatloaf on a motorbike covered
in light bulbs there's no none of that well we
will get there it's people out there that are
kind of just because they've been told to so
i'm looking forward to seeing the differences
and i think that might be one that's worth doing
a contrast going Which was the better film? Which
was the more fun film? I'll tell you what we'll
do. We'll wait for it to be out in a couple of
years' time. If we're still doing this, we'll
watch the original Running Man, then go to the
cinema to watch the new Running Man, and we'll
talk about them both at the same time. Sounds
a very good idea to me. Two years' time. Oh,
and the guest intro that you heard to start this
one is another 80s special, by the way. They're
all 80s films again. So have fun with that. No,
they aren't. 90s, you idiot. They are 90s films.
I don't get paid enough for this. I'm going back
to that Socks podcast. At least those two pretty
boys know how to correctly read my rider. So,
that's it. We're done. Thank you, everybody.
That's me dropping my phone. Thank you, everybody,
for listening to another episode of the Untitled
Sci -Fi Show. You can find us on absolutely fucking
everything. Just go to www .channel84 .co .uk.
You'll find all of our social media stuff for
not only the sci -fi show, but also the variety
show, which is kind of like the main meat of
us two, really. That's where you'll find everything.
And you'll also find the other Studio Channel
84 network shows. Namely, I'm going to do it
the other way around this time. who takes the
socks off with simon and ross and and lightly
used with karen that really fucked me up by saying
it the wrong way around it really did that did
break me um you can email us at podcasts at channel
84 .co .uk or You can email me directly at robertchannel84
.co .uk or tj at channel84 .co .uk. Send your
answers to Guess the Intro to anywhere where
you know that TJ or I hang out. Probably a direct
message on Blue Sky or Twitter is probably the
easiest one, but emails work fine. That's it,
really. We'll see you... next week for the variety
show and then in two weeks for the next sci -fi
show where we talk about space pools Spaceballs.
I am looking forward to that. By the way, if
you want the direct access to all the social
media links for the Untitled Sci -Fi show, you
can actually go to channel84 .co .uk forward
slash Untitled Sci -Fi, and that takes you to
all our episodes, and it also gives you all our
social media links in one place. Oh, and subscribe
to our Ko -Fi if you want to know what the joke
was that TJ said and what my real opinion is
of why the Predator guy looks like the Predator
guy. Love you, everyone. Bye -bye. It wasn't
racist. Thank you for listening to the Untitled
Sci -Fi Show. This station is now shutting down
and will be back in two weeks. May the Force
live long and prosper inside of you. This was
a Studio Channel 84 network show. To find more,
head over to channel84 .co .uk now. Hobbies again.
Yeah? How many? 16. Okay, cool. And what about
the jelly beans? Green. Only green. Don't you
get any fucking red in there? You know how I
feel about the colour red. No problem. Just green.
Is that all? Don't forget the massage. How could
I forget? I want Simon this time. His hands are
softer than yours. Yours are like getting a rub
down from a Makita electric sander. Yeah, Simon
it is. Good. Recording's at nine. I'll send the
car. I'll be there for ten. Prick.