WEBVTT

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Hello? Oh, it's you. What have they done now?

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Ugh. Okay. Leave it with me. For fuck's sake.

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Always the same with these two twats. Look, give

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me a moment whilst this statement comes through

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the fax machine. The Chipmunk has requested,

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contrary to Rob's wishes, that a certain joke

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be removed from today's episode, stating Article

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44, Subsection 3, Clause 9, 2, b, of the Studio

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Channel 84 Human Resource Accord. whilst censorship

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is not something the chipmunk supports it is

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believed that this joke comes in direct violation

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of the aforementioned clause and thus shall be

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removed from the following broadcast the joke

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will henceforth be known as the event in all

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other correspondence on this matter It should

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also be known that it is not company policy to

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accept monetary dispensation for access to the

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event, and all mentions of this are not supported

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by Studio Channel 84 or their parent company,

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Business Incorporated. As usual, please direct

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all queries on this matter to the podcast's designated

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complaints department at the email patronzaint

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at channel84 .co .uk. Thank you for your time

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regarding this matter sincerely, The Chipmunk.

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Right, with that out of the way, let's get on

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with the show. Why did you judge me? You killed

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innocent people! The means to an end! You started

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a massacre! I caused a revolution! You betrayed

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the law! LAW! ambassador. We come in peace. Want

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to get down on us? Hello and welcome to the Untitled

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Sci -Fi Show. The smoothest setup I have ever

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seen. I know, you weren't even that involved

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other than checking I made the lines exactly

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in the right position, which I was actually doing

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anyway. Welcome to OCD. Yeah, because the OCD

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hour. I've got a joke to tell you before we start.

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Oh no, is it a dad joke, a rude joke or a random

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joke? Uh, all of the above? Winning! So there's

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three... I've written notes because I'm quite

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bad with the memory. So it's three old guys in

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an old people's home. Right. Ancient guys. The

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first man says, you know, I just really wish

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that I could just go for a number one and it

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just not come out in drips and drabs and forced

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and just be really, you know, just no flow. So

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frustrating. And then the second man says, you

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know what? I just wish I could have a decent

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number two. You know, it's just it's so difficult

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to go now and it's small and frustrating. It's

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just I'm just not getting there. And the third

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man goes, I don't know what your problem is.

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Every day, 7 .30 a .m., I do a number one and

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it's as powerful as the Niagara Falls. And every

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day at 7 .35, I do a number two, which is as

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beautiful and large as Mount Everest. And the

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first man says to him, so what's your problem?

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And the third man says, well, I don't get out

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of bed till nine. I could tell you an old person,

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but you'd have to beep the entire thing. Get

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ready to beep. So there's poor, old, sad Dan,

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and he lives in a care home. What was your life

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like before? Before? Before it was changed by

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Allegra Geller. I operated a gas station. You

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still operate a gas station, don't you? Only

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on the most pathetic level of reality. Okay,

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everybody. It's recording. I was going to say

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otherwise. Valentino just cut in and say a really

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bad joke over the top of it. Yeah, I'm thinking

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TJ doesn't want that joke to be aired, so it

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might be a Kofi special. Subscribe on Kofi and

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you may hear that joke. No promises. Okay, so

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guess the intro. Guess the intro. That was over

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20 minutes last week. Guess the intro. Great

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news. Yes. We have two winners. We do. Two winners

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of Guess the Intro. One is an old friend of ours

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and the other is a new friend and I have a song.

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I've just got a message that says, can you help

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me please? Oh dear. Give me one second. Right,

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so you jinxed us there by saying only 20 minutes.

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Right, okay. So, what was I saying? Yes, two

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winners. One is an old friend of mine, someone

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you know through the podcast as well. And the

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other one is a time traveller. He is a time traveller.

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This person, who was the first person to send

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it in, has now got the record for the fastest

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entry by the fact that they actually sent it

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in the day before it was released. We've got

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to say, technically, they are the winner. We

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had... Two people that got the right answers,

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but the winner was actually our American listener.

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Yes, they're from Missouri. Their name is Stephen,

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two -time College Media Educator, Hall of Fame

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inductee, grammar purist chapel. Nice. That is

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a grammar purist on blue sky, everybody. Stephen

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Chappell, I think he's a fairly regular listener.

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He does comment. He's on the list for Trek Roulette

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when I get round to it as being a guest on Trek

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Roulette. We'll get there eventually, everybody.

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One day. But well done. Well done, Stephen. Yeah.

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As I said, just because of time differences,

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technically you sent it in six hours before it

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was actually released. So well done. And the

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other one is, can you guess? No. Oh, Stiddy?

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Stiddy. Oh, Stiddy. We'll have to wipe his name

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out because don't get a shout out. And the other

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one, Stiddy, yes, Stiddy got them all, yeah.

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Hang on, you'll beep his name, but you won't

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beep my joke. No, absolutely not. I will not

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be beeping your joke. I'm going to keep beeping.

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Right, should we get on with it? This is definitely

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the unhinged podcast. Okay. Let's get the file

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up. Are we ready? We are. Look, I'm not even

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looking at my notes for this one. That is Predator.

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Of course it's Predator. Well done. Easy one.

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What have they done to the new Predator? Oh,

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I know. Yeah. So, okay. I am not a purist by

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any means, and it makes me laugh that I've read

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so many comments now on this new Predator. Why

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does it look so human -like, blah, blah, blah.

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So it's meant to be a runt, apparently. Okay.

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There's meant to be, according to what everyone's

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saying, and because of Prey, which I still haven't

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watched, apparently it's very good. Apparently

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it's very good, yeah. There are different clans

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of Predator, so they all look different. Which

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I understand. We all look different. It makes

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sense. I know they're not all meant to look like

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the Predator from Predator 1. I think they are.

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However, all of the purists are going on, oh,

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well, you obviously haven't read all the comics,

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blah, blah, blah. The comics came after the film.

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The film was 86. Concrete Jungle, which was the

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first comic, 87. So, sorry, if you want to go

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by purist and lore... Actually, it's the films.

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So Predator 1 and 2 are what we expect of a Predator.

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Not some very human looking because it just didn't

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look good. Sorry, everyone. The cat's here pushing

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on the mic arm. I have an opinion on it and my

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opinion is not going to go on air. Again, subscribe

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to the Ko -Fi and you'll get my true opinion

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of why that monster looks the way it does. Anyway,

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next. Not again. Yep, yep, I know, I know. Okay,

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okay, I'll handle it. Look, don't make me go

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through this again. I know what he means. You

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know what he means. We all know what he means.

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He is a fucking prick. Let's just leave it at

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that. I'm not a fool, Plissken. Call me Snake.

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So that was Escape from New York. Of course it

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was, yeah. Haven't seen that one in years. I

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have never seen it, so... The cat is now pressing

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buttons on the screen. Oh, for God's sake. It's

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fine, it's not. Stop the recording. You are a...

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It's a different one. This is Stripes. This is

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not the one who normally says hello to you. No,

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this isn't. I was going to say. This isn't the

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one that's normally biting me if I stop stroking

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it. No, this one will draw on you instead, so

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be careful. Oh. Okay, next one. A wet pussy.

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Anyway, breathe liquid so you can't get compressed.

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The pressure doesn't get you. You mean you got

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liquid in your lungs? So that is the abyss. I

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picked that because of what you did say. Because

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of our conversation. When we recorded with the

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Cheap Show Boys, we were chatting with Sean and

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Ethan from Shut Up and Answer the Question. And

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we were talking about 80s films. And then we

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were talking about the abyss and how the liquid

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actually is real. And they really did that scene

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on the abyss with the rat making it breathe liquid.

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horrible idea but it was horrible to watch yeah

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because i was watching it on youtube to get the

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audience oh god i don't remember this being as

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horrible to watch as it was and yeah it was yeah

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awful i felt really sorry for that rat how many

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assholes we got on this ship anyhow Now, I seriously

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edited that clip because there's a lot of time.

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There's still a bit more coming back to it. I'm

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surrounded by assholes. Yeah. There's a lot of

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people going, oh, so there's lots of like talking

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around. I've got to cut this down. Yeah. Spaceballs.

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Spaceballs. Of course it is. With the giant comb.

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With the giant comb. The only true wisdom consists

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in knowing that you know nothing. Come on. Bill

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and Ted's bogus journey. Excellent journey. Sorry,

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not bogus. Yeah. Excellent adventure. Excellent

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adventure. And that's the bit where they meet

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Socrates. Oh, I don't remember which bit it was.

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It's either that bit or it's when they're. They're

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doing their speech in the... Yeah, in the auditorium.

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Yeah, it could be the speech or Socrates. I don't

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think it's the Joan of Arc section. No, the other

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thing is. No, it's one of those two. It's because

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it's got the guitars playing. Yeah, good point.

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So I think that's the auditorium. Brilliant film,

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though. Oh, great. Excuse me. I have to go. Somewhere

00:12:28.240 --> 00:12:30.549
there is a crime happening. Well, I picked this

00:12:30.549 --> 00:12:31.909
one by accident because I realised I'd already

00:12:31.909 --> 00:12:35.570
done it. RoboCop. RoboCop, yeah. I realised after

00:12:35.570 --> 00:12:37.409
I made the whole thing, I was like, oh, I've

00:12:37.409 --> 00:12:39.610
actually already done RoboCop. Never mind. Yeah,

00:12:39.750 --> 00:12:42.090
original RoboCop film, absolutely brilliant.

00:12:42.490 --> 00:12:45.950
Can't beat it. As much of the new RoboCop film

00:12:45.950 --> 00:12:49.350
that they released was very PG -13. It was enjoyable.

00:12:49.570 --> 00:12:51.549
Some very clever moments in it when they reveal

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what's left of him. Absolutely brilliant. The

00:12:54.610 --> 00:12:56.350
rest of it just falls a bit flat, especially

00:12:56.350 --> 00:12:59.769
compared to... original robocop like when he

00:12:59.769 --> 00:13:01.590
runs into the man who's covered in the toxic

00:13:01.590 --> 00:13:03.970
waste and it just explodes into liquid across

00:13:03.970 --> 00:13:06.710
the front of the car cannot beat that moment

00:13:06.710 --> 00:13:11.090
yeah well there we go so well done uh grammar

00:13:11.090 --> 00:13:15.950
purist and well done steady did you hear me chinese

00:13:15.950 --> 00:13:22.870
waiter we want the special the special is for

00:13:22.870 --> 00:13:26.610
special occasions i cannot give you the special

00:13:29.480 --> 00:13:31.000
So, what have you been watching? What have you

00:13:31.000 --> 00:13:33.379
been doing? What's going on? Really not much.

00:13:33.419 --> 00:13:36.539
It's just been a really hectic week. I've started

00:13:36.539 --> 00:13:38.899
playing Red Dead Redemption 2. Yes, you did.

00:13:39.019 --> 00:13:41.980
I hate the snow. I cannot wait for the snow to

00:13:41.980 --> 00:13:44.100
fuck off, so I have a free world to wander around

00:13:44.100 --> 00:13:46.620
rather than having to do pointless, boring missions.

00:13:46.779 --> 00:13:51.480
I think, well, there's a lot of stuff. I think

00:13:51.480 --> 00:13:54.740
the general consensus was Act 4 is the best place

00:13:54.740 --> 00:13:58.700
to explore. either act four or act six there's

00:13:58.700 --> 00:14:01.500
a point in time where you get to a certain way

00:14:01.500 --> 00:14:06.600
in the story where you kind of you're not past

00:14:06.600 --> 00:14:09.740
a point of no return with with your character

00:14:09.740 --> 00:14:12.279
so that it's a really good it is and everything's

00:14:12.279 --> 00:14:14.620
opened up to you right okay so i can't remember

00:14:14.620 --> 00:14:16.419
if it's four or six i'll have to look up for

00:14:16.419 --> 00:14:18.240
you so no spoilers for you i know that i've got

00:14:18.240 --> 00:14:20.399
a long way to go with and i will stick it out

00:14:20.399 --> 00:14:22.820
because i am enjoying it and it's so good it's

00:14:22.820 --> 00:14:25.600
just having come from when i played the original

00:14:25.600 --> 00:14:29.299
red dead which really it was like one or two

00:14:29.299 --> 00:14:31.500
very short missions at the beginning and then

00:14:31.500 --> 00:14:34.000
really you were just free to go around and do

00:14:34.000 --> 00:14:38.190
what you want and that was phenomenal so a little

00:14:38.190 --> 00:14:40.809
bit disappointed that i've had to kind of go

00:14:40.809 --> 00:14:42.570
into and i think people have to make between

00:14:42.570 --> 00:14:45.210
four and six hours of yeah on the rail snow crap

00:14:45.210 --> 00:14:48.450
um i already pissed off the people i'm with by

00:14:48.450 --> 00:14:51.850
opening fire on the irish fam the driscolls yeah

00:14:51.850 --> 00:14:54.110
i opened fire before he said anything and he's

00:14:54.110 --> 00:14:55.990
like what are you doing and then we just annihilated

00:14:55.990 --> 00:15:01.320
them so oops yeah but otherwise um I think that's

00:15:01.320 --> 00:15:03.820
really it. I haven't done much. There's not been

00:15:03.820 --> 00:15:06.879
any sci -fi I've been watching. I've not even

00:15:06.879 --> 00:15:09.200
really had that much of a chance until I watched

00:15:09.200 --> 00:15:12.980
the film we're talking about today to watch anything.

00:15:13.179 --> 00:15:16.340
It's been a bit of a quiet one for me. Okay.

00:15:16.860 --> 00:15:19.820
Well, I hope you do stick out with Red Dead because

00:15:19.820 --> 00:15:24.539
I think it's quite slow -paced in some points,

00:15:24.580 --> 00:15:27.549
but that's not a bad thing. It feels like it's

00:15:27.549 --> 00:15:30.409
a lot more cinematic, so you've got to really

00:15:30.409 --> 00:15:33.450
want to be involved in it. You've got to want

00:15:33.450 --> 00:15:36.649
it, yeah, yeah, yeah. So, yeah, I will stick

00:15:36.649 --> 00:15:39.889
it out. As soon as you're out the snow bit and

00:15:39.889 --> 00:15:43.789
interact too, or rather act one out of the tutorial

00:15:43.789 --> 00:15:49.039
area, you... You can just go around wherever

00:15:49.039 --> 00:15:51.220
you want. It's just I think that a lot of the

00:15:51.220 --> 00:15:53.840
mechanics aren't open to you yet. Like the collection

00:15:53.840 --> 00:15:55.779
stuff and all those kind of things might not

00:15:55.779 --> 00:15:57.980
actually quite be open up to you yet. So there's

00:15:57.980 --> 00:15:59.840
no point. See, what I'm looking forward to is

00:15:59.840 --> 00:16:02.480
just going hunting. That's what I want to go

00:16:02.480 --> 00:16:04.299
and do. Well, there's two different kinds of

00:16:04.299 --> 00:16:06.139
hunting in the game. There's hunting and then

00:16:06.139 --> 00:16:09.279
there's like the big beast hunting. Right. It's

00:16:09.279 --> 00:16:11.759
like hunting a boss. Oh, okay. They are fucking

00:16:11.759 --> 00:16:14.620
cool. Yeah, like the bear ones are really good.

00:16:14.779 --> 00:16:16.740
So again, that's what I'm looking forward to.

00:16:17.549 --> 00:16:19.129
Moving away from Red Dead, the only other thing

00:16:19.129 --> 00:16:22.710
I would say then that's kind of sci -fi -ish,

00:16:22.870 --> 00:16:25.570
well, geekish, and I think we said that we'd

00:16:25.570 --> 00:16:29.289
talk about geeky stuff as well. I have been using

00:16:29.289 --> 00:16:34.570
iPhones since the iPhone 3GS. Yep. I've had every

00:16:34.570 --> 00:16:38.129
iteration of the iPhone since then. I've even

00:16:38.129 --> 00:16:41.549
had the iPhone 16 Pro Max, which I only got in

00:16:41.549 --> 00:16:46.590
October. I am so bored. And sick of what Apple

00:16:46.590 --> 00:16:49.309
are doing, I have actually moved to Android.

00:16:49.549 --> 00:16:52.309
And I'm struggling, but I'll get there. And I

00:16:52.309 --> 00:16:53.789
don't think I'm going to go back to the iPhone.

00:16:55.070 --> 00:16:59.470
But I still love Apple. I still love how the

00:16:59.470 --> 00:17:01.830
whole user system interacts with everything.

00:17:01.990 --> 00:17:04.069
So the iPhone works so beautifully with the MacBook.

00:17:05.190 --> 00:17:07.490
That all worked beautifully with the iPad. And

00:17:07.490 --> 00:17:09.309
it was just all tied together really, really

00:17:09.309 --> 00:17:11.529
nice. But what was getting me, and I don't know

00:17:11.529 --> 00:17:14.450
if anyone else has noticed this, that use iPhones.

00:17:15.150 --> 00:17:17.150
But things have been changing since about iOS

00:17:17.150 --> 00:17:19.490
17. And I know I've got fat fucking fingers.

00:17:19.609 --> 00:17:22.849
I know that. But the keyboard in the past two

00:17:22.849 --> 00:17:26.549
iterations of the OS have become from one or

00:17:26.549 --> 00:17:30.930
two mistakes every few messages to almost every

00:17:30.930 --> 00:17:34.410
message I make about 10 % of the words are in

00:17:34.410 --> 00:17:37.170
error. You know what? I've got to say, I've got

00:17:37.170 --> 00:17:39.089
an iPhone for work. It's one of the smallest

00:17:39.089 --> 00:17:42.390
over there somewhere. I do spelling mistakes

00:17:42.390 --> 00:17:44.569
on that constantly. There's something about...

00:17:44.670 --> 00:17:46.930
i don't know the placement of it i mean okay

00:17:46.930 --> 00:17:49.750
it's a much smaller phone than my seven but it

00:17:49.750 --> 00:17:53.670
yeah it i do a lot of mistakes but i never used

00:17:53.670 --> 00:17:55.670
to that's the thing i never used to make mistakes

00:17:55.670 --> 00:17:59.230
so i don't know what changed but moreover i found

00:17:59.230 --> 00:18:01.750
that the promise of apple intelligence and it

00:18:01.750 --> 00:18:04.529
just being absolutely shit it's nowhere near

00:18:04.529 --> 00:18:07.329
the quality of any other ai out there i would

00:18:07.329 --> 00:18:09.890
even say that meta ai is better than apple intelligence

00:18:09.890 --> 00:18:13.970
and that's pretty ropey yeah um i would then

00:18:14.519 --> 00:18:17.599
find that app crashes used to be something that

00:18:17.599 --> 00:18:20.160
you didn't really get you might get one in a

00:18:20.160 --> 00:18:22.799
blue moon and really was a blue moon moment thing

00:18:22.799 --> 00:18:26.579
really regular now apps crashing out not working

00:18:26.579 --> 00:18:29.140
and i just thought you know what i'm so bored

00:18:29.140 --> 00:18:31.380
of this as well there's nothing new there's nothing

00:18:31.380 --> 00:18:33.759
exciting about this yeah i keep looking at the

00:18:33.759 --> 00:18:35.779
year by year the android releases and seeing

00:18:35.779 --> 00:18:37.380
what my boss and the others are using inside

00:18:38.029 --> 00:18:39.670
That's a really cool feature. I'd actually quite

00:18:39.670 --> 00:18:41.670
like that. I don't want to wait six years for

00:18:41.670 --> 00:18:44.109
Apple to bring it out and it to be perfected.

00:18:44.450 --> 00:18:46.849
I'd want to have a play with it now. So, you

00:18:46.849 --> 00:18:49.470
know, I'm on a Pixel 9 Pro XL. Yeah, you got

00:18:49.470 --> 00:18:52.490
the sexy one. And it's quite nice. I'm enjoying

00:18:52.490 --> 00:18:57.210
it. Yeah, SideQuest Mark and I have had Google

00:18:57.210 --> 00:19:00.829
phones since the Nexus days. My last Apple phone

00:19:00.829 --> 00:19:05.309
that hasn't been a work one was the 4 something.

00:19:05.589 --> 00:19:08.849
When they added the fifth row. Right, yeah, yeah,

00:19:08.890 --> 00:19:11.009
yeah. So I had a 4, and then I got the next one

00:19:11.009 --> 00:19:13.029
when they added the fifth row, and I gave it

00:19:13.029 --> 00:19:15.349
back. And I said, this is ridiculous. It was

00:19:15.349 --> 00:19:18.589
a brand new phone. The only upgrade to it was

00:19:18.589 --> 00:19:21.869
an extra line of apps. And I just didn't see

00:19:21.869 --> 00:19:24.670
that as a worthy upgrade. So that's when I think

00:19:24.670 --> 00:19:27.849
I got the Nexus 4 instead, and that's when I

00:19:27.849 --> 00:19:29.470
went Android. Ooh, the Nexus, I remember that.

00:19:29.470 --> 00:19:31.849
That's when I went Android, and I still have...

00:19:32.390 --> 00:19:34.869
One of them which I use is T's phone and it's

00:19:34.869 --> 00:19:37.269
the one that's got the finger scanner on the

00:19:37.269 --> 00:19:39.109
back. Oh, I remember that one. Now let me tell

00:19:39.109 --> 00:19:41.569
you how much better that is than being on the

00:19:41.569 --> 00:19:43.349
front because when you've just got it in your

00:19:43.349 --> 00:19:44.970
hand and you can just, because what you could

00:19:44.970 --> 00:19:47.930
also do, you could swipe it up and down and that

00:19:47.930 --> 00:19:49.910
would bring the toolbar down from the top and

00:19:49.910 --> 00:19:54.549
stuff. Whereas I find with these ones, just with

00:19:54.549 --> 00:19:56.529
my line of work, I get a lot of cuts on my thumbs

00:19:56.529 --> 00:19:58.329
just from the little fiddly cables and things

00:19:58.329 --> 00:20:00.730
and lots of dirt in them. I constantly have to

00:20:00.730 --> 00:20:03.630
relearn my thumb. yeah and stuff i never had

00:20:03.630 --> 00:20:06.369
to do that on that back one no you see that's

00:20:06.369 --> 00:20:08.309
a really nice touch now the nexus funnily enough

00:20:08.309 --> 00:20:11.089
that was a motorola phone yeah motorola made

00:20:11.089 --> 00:20:13.609
them and look at motorola now they make basically

00:20:13.609 --> 00:20:15.930
really budget android phones and that's it it's

00:20:15.930 --> 00:20:17.529
one of these companies that used to be really

00:20:17.529 --> 00:20:20.210
out there oh and sorry we've got the razor has

00:20:20.210 --> 00:20:22.049
come back onto the market so you can now buy

00:20:22.049 --> 00:20:26.269
a fully pledged premium android smartphone in

00:20:26.269 --> 00:20:29.589
razor form which is quite cool um but no yeah

00:20:29.589 --> 00:20:34.109
the pixel 9 pro has got a ultra uh what's it

00:20:34.109 --> 00:20:36.769
an ultrasonic sensor beneath the screen so obviously

00:20:36.769 --> 00:20:40.670
not good for you but uh as i said to you earlier

00:20:40.670 --> 00:20:43.589
the face recognition is now what they call a

00:20:43.589 --> 00:20:45.849
level three biometric so you can use it for banking

00:20:45.849 --> 00:20:49.210
you can use it for all of those and it's been

00:20:49.210 --> 00:20:51.630
amazing it's been just as quick as the face id

00:20:51.630 --> 00:20:54.009
for apple really i put my phone up by the time

00:20:54.009 --> 00:20:57.529
it's screen has come on it's unlocked yeah i'm

00:20:58.380 --> 00:21:01.619
I can get a new one now, but both Mark and I

00:21:01.619 --> 00:21:06.000
are both waiting for October for supposedly the

00:21:06.000 --> 00:21:08.960
10. So I would say you're going to see the X

00:21:08.960 --> 00:21:11.140
release in the next couple of months, or at least

00:21:11.140 --> 00:21:13.980
it's going to go on pre -order. I got this at

00:21:13.980 --> 00:21:17.039
a heavy discount on Amazon. I was looking at

00:21:17.039 --> 00:21:19.119
getting the Fold, and I kept thinking, will I

00:21:19.119 --> 00:21:20.740
get the Fold, will I get the Fold, will I get

00:21:20.740 --> 00:21:23.880
the Fold? And I just thought, I've got a giant

00:21:23.880 --> 00:21:26.400
iPad. I don't need the Fold, so I'm not going

00:21:26.400 --> 00:21:30.539
to. You can't get stock of anything. If you look

00:21:30.539 --> 00:21:33.440
at Google's site, almost all the standard 9s,

00:21:33.460 --> 00:21:36.880
so the 9, the Pro, the Pro XL, only certain colours

00:21:36.880 --> 00:21:38.779
and sizes are available now. Everything else

00:21:38.779 --> 00:21:41.539
is marked sold out. The Fold is sold out pretty

00:21:41.539 --> 00:21:43.640
much everywhere and it's just refurbished or

00:21:43.640 --> 00:21:46.480
stupidly high money from private sellers because

00:21:46.480 --> 00:21:48.279
they know. That's a sign that a new one's coming.

00:21:48.339 --> 00:21:50.240
Exactly. So it's a sign they've run down the

00:21:50.240 --> 00:21:55.099
stock. Okay. Yeah, sorry. On to you. Those are

00:21:55.099 --> 00:21:59.579
sterilised, aren't they? Not to worry. The way

00:21:59.579 --> 00:22:02.359
they set things up, you could fire in a bioport

00:22:02.359 --> 00:22:04.519
and a slaughterhouse and never generate an infection.

00:22:05.660 --> 00:22:09.019
Then why the clean overalls? Pussycat, pussycat,

00:22:09.059 --> 00:22:11.240
stop headbutting the screen. You'll get your

00:22:11.240 --> 00:22:14.200
gooey face all over it. What have I been doing?

00:22:14.619 --> 00:22:17.700
So, more of the same games, really. A little

00:22:17.700 --> 00:22:19.720
bit more of Clear Obscure, a little bit more

00:22:19.720 --> 00:22:23.759
of Oblivion. Both of them have now taken a sideline

00:22:23.759 --> 00:22:27.019
because of your fucking fault. saying that you

00:22:27.019 --> 00:22:29.240
wanted to play stardew valley on your phone so

00:22:29.240 --> 00:22:31.680
i've had it for so long and i've never really

00:22:31.680 --> 00:22:34.160
got into it i've always played it like i played

00:22:34.160 --> 00:22:36.339
it on my phone too for a little bit i was like

00:22:36.339 --> 00:22:39.119
oh didn't like on the phone and then i got it

00:22:39.119 --> 00:22:41.819
on the switch and i never really just got into

00:22:41.819 --> 00:22:43.619
it i was like oh yeah okay this is harvest moon

00:22:43.619 --> 00:22:47.539
i used to love harvest moon and you said that

00:22:47.539 --> 00:22:49.039
i was like you know what i'm gonna put on the

00:22:49.039 --> 00:22:51.279
deck i'll just download on the deck i already

00:22:51.279 --> 00:22:54.359
own it so i'll just put it on there and i've

00:22:54.359 --> 00:22:57.339
played it Every day for the last, what, how many

00:22:57.339 --> 00:22:59.440
days ago? Did you tell me four or five days ago?

00:22:59.980 --> 00:23:02.880
It would have been back on Saturday or Sunday

00:23:02.880 --> 00:23:06.099
when I got the phone. Every evening. And like

00:23:06.099 --> 00:23:08.339
that first two nights, I was up to like midnight

00:23:08.339 --> 00:23:10.220
or half twelve still playing. I've got to go

00:23:10.220 --> 00:23:12.480
to bed. What am I doing? Just watering fucking

00:23:12.480 --> 00:23:17.599
plants. My turnips are growing. Yeah. So I've,

00:23:17.599 --> 00:23:19.990
yeah, I've been playing a lot of that. I also

00:23:19.990 --> 00:23:22.190
had a little go on that precinct demo as well.

00:23:22.269 --> 00:23:24.589
I did bin it off of the mobile. I didn't like

00:23:24.589 --> 00:23:26.349
it on mobile. No, it's not good on mobile. I'll

00:23:26.349 --> 00:23:27.789
try it on the Legion. Try it on your Legion.

00:23:27.789 --> 00:23:30.150
The only thing I did enjoy was naming my farm

00:23:30.150 --> 00:23:32.990
Shitsville and saying my favourite thing was

00:23:32.990 --> 00:23:36.089
sodomy. And I was really hoping that it was going

00:23:36.089 --> 00:23:38.210
to be your grandfather left something in his

00:23:38.210 --> 00:23:40.490
will for you. He's left you this farm and your

00:23:40.490 --> 00:23:43.160
favourite thing, sodomy. Yeah, I don't think

00:23:43.160 --> 00:23:44.859
it means anything, your favourite thing. Yeah,

00:23:44.900 --> 00:23:47.019
I don't think it is. I was disappointed by that,

00:23:47.079 --> 00:23:49.960
unless it does turn up later. I think what the...

00:23:49.960 --> 00:23:52.640
A problem, I think, with the game is it doesn't

00:23:52.640 --> 00:23:55.759
actually hold your hand enough. I'm already looking

00:23:55.759 --> 00:23:58.059
at the wiki going, what am I supposed to do?

00:23:58.539 --> 00:24:02.339
Like, it's like, oh, it's now time for the spring

00:24:02.339 --> 00:24:06.180
dance, OK? I haven't met everyone in town yet.

00:24:06.259 --> 00:24:08.779
I don't know how really to interact with anybody

00:24:08.779 --> 00:24:11.789
at all. I'm like... I didn't know there was a

00:24:11.789 --> 00:24:13.789
button for crafting. I didn't know the start

00:24:13.789 --> 00:24:16.069
menu was there, pretty much, where you can then

00:24:16.069 --> 00:24:18.109
tab through everything. Oh, I had no idea that

00:24:18.109 --> 00:24:21.130
was there, because basically I got to the point

00:24:21.130 --> 00:24:23.109
where it's like day one. So I went around and

00:24:23.109 --> 00:24:25.430
cleared a huge area. And then you're out of energy.

00:24:25.450 --> 00:24:27.390
So I thought, okay, I'll go and quickly plant

00:24:27.390 --> 00:24:29.009
some turnips. And then I'll remember it saying,

00:24:29.170 --> 00:24:31.309
return to the house if you need to eat to get

00:24:31.309 --> 00:24:33.490
your energy back. So I thought, oh, okay, I'll

00:24:33.490 --> 00:24:36.609
go back to the house. How do I eat? Can you do

00:24:36.609 --> 00:24:39.480
that? I didn't go to sleep in your house. I'm

00:24:39.480 --> 00:24:41.440
sure that's what it said. So, you know, exactly.

00:24:41.660 --> 00:24:43.900
That's what ended up. It's like, it's 12 .01

00:24:43.900 --> 00:24:47.200
p .m. I'll go to sleep then. Yeah, I've had some

00:24:47.200 --> 00:24:49.220
days like that where I've planted, I've tilled

00:24:49.220 --> 00:24:50.839
all the ground, planted all the stuff, watered

00:24:50.839 --> 00:24:53.440
it all, cleared a bit. It's only 10 a .m. I've

00:24:53.440 --> 00:24:56.240
got no energy. I'll bed then. What can I fucking

00:24:56.240 --> 00:24:57.480
do? I haven't got any food. I'm sure it says

00:24:57.480 --> 00:24:59.599
you're meant to eat to get energy and you can

00:24:59.599 --> 00:25:01.859
eat in the house. Oh, okay. Right. Well, I'm

00:25:01.859 --> 00:25:04.559
in summer already, so I should probably, my guy's

00:25:04.559 --> 00:25:06.140
probably bloody starving. I've got chickens though.

00:25:08.309 --> 00:25:11.970
One's called Chip and one's called Prudence,

00:25:12.009 --> 00:25:13.970
I think. I'd have to call one Strips and the

00:25:13.970 --> 00:25:16.869
other Nugget. Yeah, I did think about stuff like

00:25:16.869 --> 00:25:18.430
that, but I can never bring myself to do it.

00:25:19.490 --> 00:25:22.589
Yeah, so I've played the Precinct demo, which

00:25:22.589 --> 00:25:24.829
looks like the old GTA games. That does look

00:25:24.829 --> 00:25:27.450
very cool. Runs like shit. It's pre -alpha. So

00:25:27.450 --> 00:25:30.190
the demo says it's pre -alpha or alpha or something.

00:25:30.609 --> 00:25:33.690
Runs like crap. On that amazing laptop that's

00:25:33.690 --> 00:25:36.299
yours, that's currently at my house. I had to

00:25:36.299 --> 00:25:38.500
put it on like the lowest settings. Really? Because

00:25:38.500 --> 00:25:41.039
it was just chugging. But it might have actually

00:25:41.039 --> 00:25:42.880
been because I realised I didn't have it plugged

00:25:42.880 --> 00:25:44.559
in, the laptop, on power. That would be why.

00:25:44.779 --> 00:25:46.400
So I think actually that's what it was because

00:25:46.400 --> 00:25:48.240
then suddenly, after I finished playing with

00:25:48.240 --> 00:25:49.859
it and I was just kind of getting myself ready

00:25:49.859 --> 00:25:53.140
for this, making notes, it popped up saying,

00:25:53.259 --> 00:25:55.079
going into power saving mode. I was like, oh,

00:25:55.279 --> 00:25:56.819
I wonder if that was why it wasn't plugged in.

00:25:56.839 --> 00:25:58.400
That would be why it was chugging. Because don't

00:25:58.400 --> 00:26:01.119
forget, I mean, it looks a great game, but that's

00:26:01.119 --> 00:26:06.990
a 12, it's an 8 gig 3060, an i7. Well, I thought

00:26:06.990 --> 00:26:10.150
it was more just because it was like an alpha

00:26:10.150 --> 00:26:13.359
demo that actually it's just not been. You know,

00:26:13.380 --> 00:26:15.500
the game's out now. I mean, bear in mind, it

00:26:15.500 --> 00:26:18.180
was saying it gets 90 frames a second on the

00:26:18.180 --> 00:26:21.119
Steam Deck according to the Steam details. Oh,

00:26:21.160 --> 00:26:22.900
I've downloaded the demo for the Steam Deck because

00:26:22.900 --> 00:26:25.599
it's £20 at the moment. So if I actually really

00:26:25.599 --> 00:26:28.279
like it, I might get it ready for when I go away.

00:26:28.319 --> 00:26:30.539
Yeah, I think I'm going to download the demo

00:26:30.539 --> 00:26:32.599
and give it a play and then if it's good, I'll

00:26:32.599 --> 00:26:34.279
buy it because I like the fact that it looks

00:26:34.279 --> 00:26:35.619
like you can just drive around the city and go,

00:26:35.720 --> 00:26:37.660
parking ticket, parking ticket, parking ticket.

00:26:37.779 --> 00:26:38.740
Yeah, that's probably the story. You go around

00:26:38.740 --> 00:26:40.200
and give people parking tickets. It's quite fun.

00:26:41.319 --> 00:26:43.900
TV shows I've been watching. So I'm really into

00:26:43.900 --> 00:26:48.680
Mobland, which is on Paramount Plus. A Guy Ritchie

00:26:48.680 --> 00:26:51.740
series. It's got Tom Hardy in it. That's the

00:26:51.740 --> 00:26:54.220
Tom Hardy one with the Harrigans. Yeah, Harrigans.

00:26:54.299 --> 00:26:56.220
It's really good, TJ, if you haven't watched

00:26:56.220 --> 00:27:01.279
it. It's actually really decent. I was saying

00:27:01.279 --> 00:27:03.339
it to some friends of ours down the road. They

00:27:03.339 --> 00:27:06.099
watch, I think... They've watched like two episodes

00:27:06.099 --> 00:27:08.220
of it, but they've also watched Gangs of London.

00:27:08.660 --> 00:27:10.059
It's like, well, if you've seen Gangs of London

00:27:10.059 --> 00:27:12.099
and you think that's too gory for you, that's

00:27:12.099 --> 00:27:14.859
fine because this isn't like that. It has its

00:27:14.859 --> 00:27:19.940
moments, but most of it is actually just being

00:27:19.940 --> 00:27:23.799
gangsters and what happens. Not so much cutting

00:27:23.799 --> 00:27:26.259
people's heads off every five minutes. I mean,

00:27:26.279 --> 00:27:27.700
there's elements of that. There's definitely

00:27:27.700 --> 00:27:30.490
bits of it. But, you know, there's a great scene

00:27:30.490 --> 00:27:32.869
where someone's chopped up in a box and they're

00:27:32.869 --> 00:27:34.950
spending their time going, oh, that's actually,

00:27:34.990 --> 00:27:36.809
he's done a really good job there. You don't

00:27:36.809 --> 00:27:39.029
see the body really. And then they're commenting

00:27:39.029 --> 00:27:42.230
on how large the guy's cock is. It's actually

00:27:42.230 --> 00:27:43.990
really quite funny. It's typical Guy Ritchie

00:27:43.990 --> 00:27:47.910
humour fitted into a fairly dark scene, which

00:27:47.910 --> 00:27:49.569
he does well and he's always done well. You look

00:27:49.569 --> 00:27:52.910
at Lockstock, everything like that. He's always

00:27:52.910 --> 00:27:55.009
kept that dark sense of humour. He's always had

00:27:55.009 --> 00:27:58.849
a bit of a chuckle. A lot of brutal side of it.

00:27:58.950 --> 00:28:02.369
And then normally pretty good dialogue. This

00:28:02.369 --> 00:28:05.109
is more, the dialogue's great, but this is more

00:28:05.109 --> 00:28:09.490
serious, but the dark humour's coming from, you

00:28:09.490 --> 00:28:11.910
know, people who are in bad situations and they

00:28:11.910 --> 00:28:14.890
bring comedy out. It's called something, isn't

00:28:14.890 --> 00:28:18.650
it? It's, you know, supposedly you paramedics

00:28:18.650 --> 00:28:21.930
are meant to have it. A morbid sense of humour.

00:28:22.269 --> 00:28:25.940
It's got a special name. And what's quite good

00:28:25.940 --> 00:28:29.240
is Tom Hardy's character, he's not the mob boss.

00:28:29.559 --> 00:28:32.359
He's just like the leader of the grunts. He's

00:28:32.359 --> 00:28:34.759
a... He's the fixer, basically. Yeah, I was just

00:28:34.759 --> 00:28:36.299
going to say, he's a fixer. He's like the fixer,

00:28:36.299 --> 00:28:38.180
which is really nice because you think, I know

00:28:38.180 --> 00:28:39.720
they've got some, they've got Helen Mirren in

00:28:39.720 --> 00:28:41.220
here, they've got some big fucking... Helen Mirren,

00:28:41.279 --> 00:28:43.160
you've got Pierce Brosnan. Yeah, I mean, they're

00:28:43.160 --> 00:28:45.960
the heads of one of the families. But have you

00:28:45.960 --> 00:28:49.400
watched it? I've only seen TikTok clips. Oh,

00:28:49.420 --> 00:28:51.299
okay. I feel like I've seen about a quarter of

00:28:51.299 --> 00:28:53.519
it based on TikTok. Yeah, the TikTok clips are

00:28:53.519 --> 00:28:56.640
how I found it. Yeah. But yeah, anyway, it's

00:28:56.640 --> 00:28:59.339
really good. I really recommend that to anybody

00:28:59.339 --> 00:29:01.079
who likes gangster stuff and particularly likes

00:29:01.079 --> 00:29:02.940
anything Guy Ritchie does. And the other one

00:29:02.940 --> 00:29:06.839
is I watched a bit more Doctor Who. So I didn't

00:29:06.839 --> 00:29:08.920
like episode two. I genuinely thought that was

00:29:08.920 --> 00:29:15.059
a bad episode. And then episode three, I think

00:29:15.059 --> 00:29:17.059
that was the next, like, I think we've only watched

00:29:17.059 --> 00:29:20.339
three episodes. It was better, but it was certainly

00:29:20.339 --> 00:29:23.259
better than two because I didn't like two. well

00:29:23.259 --> 00:29:27.299
it's bringing back a baddie from a tenant episode

00:29:27.299 --> 00:29:30.339
yes i've heard about this i don't know who the

00:29:30.339 --> 00:29:32.759
bad guy is that they bought so it's just a weird

00:29:32.759 --> 00:29:37.740
monster that like in the tenant one it didn't

00:29:37.740 --> 00:29:40.480
speak it was like trying to mimic everybody and

00:29:40.480 --> 00:29:43.059
learn what they were doing and eventually take

00:29:43.059 --> 00:29:45.299
them over and take over the person it was mimicking

00:29:45.299 --> 00:29:48.559
and eventually trying to mimic mimic doctor but

00:29:48.559 --> 00:29:52.650
it couldn't do it whereas in this one It's not

00:29:52.650 --> 00:29:55.829
doing that. It's like stuck to the back of someone.

00:29:56.349 --> 00:29:58.829
Right. So you can't see it unless you just kind

00:29:58.829 --> 00:30:01.009
of look. I'm doing it to you. This isn't good

00:30:01.009 --> 00:30:03.950
for an audio medium. Just look just to the side

00:30:03.950 --> 00:30:05.869
of them and then you might see its face wish

00:30:05.869 --> 00:30:10.990
past. But if you go directly behind them, to

00:30:10.990 --> 00:30:13.730
a 12 o 'clock position behind the person, it

00:30:13.730 --> 00:30:17.450
kills you. Nice. Yeah. So it's actually, it was

00:30:17.450 --> 00:30:21.140
quite a good, thrilling episode. It's just a

00:30:21.140 --> 00:30:27.619
shame it was Shooty that was Doctor and not Tennant.

00:30:27.900 --> 00:30:30.579
Yeah, that sounds about right. In fact, Matt

00:30:30.579 --> 00:30:32.000
Smith's Doctor would have been better there.

00:30:32.160 --> 00:30:35.740
Did he cry again? I think he might have cried.

00:30:35.940 --> 00:30:39.700
Yeah, he may have cried. And they did the scene

00:30:39.700 --> 00:30:41.299
again where they're like, oh, darling, let's

00:30:41.299 --> 00:30:44.480
go change our clothes. Yay! The exact same scene

00:30:44.480 --> 00:30:47.420
they literally did in the second episode. It's

00:30:47.420 --> 00:30:49.539
just not needed. I know. It's like, yeah, we

00:30:49.539 --> 00:30:51.059
get it. You like changing clothes. So fucking

00:30:51.059 --> 00:30:53.819
what? Exactly. They kind of highlighted the fact

00:30:53.819 --> 00:30:59.660
that he's got entire wings of the TARDIS dedicated

00:30:59.660 --> 00:31:03.140
to wardrobes. Yeah, but the joke's good once.

00:31:03.240 --> 00:31:04.859
I think they've done the joke every episode.

00:31:05.180 --> 00:31:07.759
They certainly did it episode two. And now they're

00:31:07.759 --> 00:31:10.380
doing it in episode three. Well, are they going

00:31:10.380 --> 00:31:12.059
to do it in four, in five? Probably. Every time

00:31:12.059 --> 00:31:15.700
they go to a new dimension, a new year is the...

00:31:17.809 --> 00:31:19.930
what are they called? The person that goes around

00:31:19.930 --> 00:31:24.809
with him. My brain's not working. His helper.

00:31:26.490 --> 00:31:28.430
Companion. Companion, thank you. Are they going

00:31:28.430 --> 00:31:30.549
to be like, oh, what about our clothes? Oh, then

00:31:30.549 --> 00:31:34.809
we better go to the wardrobe. Yeah. You do the

00:31:34.809 --> 00:31:37.509
joke once. Yeah. Then you wait a few episodes

00:31:37.509 --> 00:31:41.230
and then you do something stupid like... Wardrobe?

00:31:41.309 --> 00:31:42.910
Oh, should we go to the wardrobe? And then just

00:31:42.910 --> 00:31:46.049
have the companion go, no, doctor. not after

00:31:46.049 --> 00:31:48.369
last night literally you just go to a brief clip

00:31:48.369 --> 00:31:52.150
where you've got shooty walking out bare ass

00:31:52.150 --> 00:31:54.789
just completely naked it's like you took me to

00:31:54.789 --> 00:31:57.490
that nature's planet on purpose we're not going

00:31:57.490 --> 00:31:59.250
to the wardrobes this time i mean that would

00:31:59.250 --> 00:32:02.029
be funny but what the that's tongue in cheek

00:32:02.029 --> 00:32:04.069
it's the sort of thing that's funny what they

00:32:04.069 --> 00:32:07.019
would do though i think is they would have a

00:32:07.019 --> 00:32:09.299
pile of clothes everywhere. And it'd be like

00:32:09.299 --> 00:32:11.900
a changing room in Primark. And it'd be Shooty

00:32:11.900 --> 00:32:13.680
just coming in and out constantly. And she'll

00:32:13.680 --> 00:32:15.660
just be on one of the chairs, like a husband

00:32:15.660 --> 00:32:17.319
just going, oh, for fuck's sake, just pick something.

00:32:17.619 --> 00:32:19.319
And he's coming out and all these different guys

00:32:19.319 --> 00:32:21.039
go, what about this one? What about this one?

00:32:21.079 --> 00:32:26.480
What about this one? What else? I think that

00:32:26.480 --> 00:32:29.059
might have been it. Oh, and The Last of Us 2.

00:32:30.349 --> 00:32:32.650
I'm really enjoying it. It's getting really slagged

00:32:32.650 --> 00:32:34.950
off online. The actress, bless her, it's getting

00:32:34.950 --> 00:32:36.670
really slagged off online. I don't understand

00:32:36.670 --> 00:32:39.650
why. Fuck you lot. I think it's great. Love you.

00:32:39.730 --> 00:32:46.789
Goodbye. I'm not sure. I'm not sure here, where

00:32:46.789 --> 00:32:51.690
we are, is real at all. Right. The reason we're

00:32:51.690 --> 00:32:57.690
all here. Existence 1999. Existence is paused.

00:33:01.099 --> 00:33:03.539
Oh my God, there's so much in this film that

00:33:03.539 --> 00:33:05.640
I'd forgotten, particularly the end. I'd forgotten

00:33:05.640 --> 00:33:08.319
the end. So can I just point out, I realise I've

00:33:08.319 --> 00:33:11.640
never seen it. Oh, okay. I've seen the posters,

00:33:11.759 --> 00:33:13.700
I've seen a couple of clips here or there, so

00:33:13.700 --> 00:33:18.200
I went into this completely blind and fuck me

00:33:18.200 --> 00:33:21.920
is it weird. It's so, can I just say as well,

00:33:22.039 --> 00:33:25.420
I think it's really gross. It is a gross, I felt

00:33:25.420 --> 00:33:29.680
physically sick any time those back, back holes

00:33:29.680 --> 00:33:33.440
were on show. Hang on, hang on. I've just got

00:33:33.440 --> 00:33:36.279
to say this. Cronenberg obviously realised, right,

00:33:36.319 --> 00:33:39.299
we can't have full penetrative sex on TV. How

00:33:39.299 --> 00:33:41.200
can we get away with it? I know, we'll just have

00:33:41.200 --> 00:33:43.220
them tongue each other's back holes. Oh, that

00:33:43.220 --> 00:33:46.799
was so disgusting when Jude Law went and tongued

00:33:46.799 --> 00:33:49.119
her back hole. Her licking her finger and then

00:33:49.119 --> 00:33:53.319
fingering him. Yeah. Every single time one of

00:33:53.319 --> 00:33:55.940
the ports was on screen, I felt physically sick.

00:33:55.940 --> 00:34:01.160
And I'm sorry. But I have a feeling when he finally

00:34:01.160 --> 00:34:04.460
gets the working port and they go into the game

00:34:04.460 --> 00:34:07.920
shop and they're taken to the back room. The

00:34:07.920 --> 00:34:11.820
orange bloke takes them to the back room, doesn't

00:34:11.820 --> 00:34:14.199
he? He says, I'll leave you to it. And they insert

00:34:14.199 --> 00:34:17.059
the little version of the game pod into their

00:34:17.059 --> 00:34:19.900
backs. And they start having sex. I'm pretty

00:34:19.900 --> 00:34:22.320
sure it's meant that he's fucking her back hole.

00:34:22.880 --> 00:34:25.800
Hence the reason he pulls her back onto him.

00:34:26.960 --> 00:34:29.719
Just fucking her? He spins her around? No, I

00:34:29.719 --> 00:34:31.079
don't think he's putting his knob in her back.

00:34:31.139 --> 00:34:34.360
I think that's what he's doing. I'm not so sure

00:34:34.360 --> 00:34:36.159
about that. I think he's filling her spine full

00:34:36.159 --> 00:34:40.940
of cum. Topping up her spinal fluid. Oh, I've

00:34:40.940 --> 00:34:46.519
got a headache. Integral pressure. What's this

00:34:46.519 --> 00:34:49.860
coming out of my nose and ears? Oh, it's so disgusting.

00:34:50.900 --> 00:34:53.820
Honestly, I did feel, Miranda stopped watching

00:34:53.820 --> 00:34:56.659
it. Like she went off the bed. So I finished

00:34:56.659 --> 00:34:58.780
on my own. I think she was getting freaked out

00:34:58.780 --> 00:35:01.880
by it as well. All right. So we'll come to the

00:35:01.880 --> 00:35:05.699
holes in a minute. This film would not survive

00:35:05.699 --> 00:35:09.380
unless it already has done a 4k remastering.

00:35:09.579 --> 00:35:13.679
It is of its time. I don't know if it was done

00:35:13.679 --> 00:35:17.670
on a. on a fairly strict budget. Cronenberg is

00:35:17.670 --> 00:35:19.690
amazing. I loved Cronenberg. I think there is

00:35:19.690 --> 00:35:21.949
a Blu -ray version of this. It doesn't mean whether

00:35:21.949 --> 00:35:24.510
it's been 4K'd. But there's like, if you look

00:35:24.510 --> 00:35:27.510
at Videodrome and all the other Cronenberg films,

00:35:27.750 --> 00:35:30.969
this feels very much like that. But this is quite

00:35:30.969 --> 00:35:35.010
late on. This was like, what, 99, did I say?

00:35:35.250 --> 00:35:39.570
It was 99, I said, yeah. Yeah. So it felt quite

00:35:39.570 --> 00:35:43.170
backwards. I mean, look how, did we tell us at

00:35:43.170 --> 00:35:44.860
what? Do you want to say, right, before we get

00:35:44.860 --> 00:35:48.900
into it, what's the story of Existence? Existence

00:35:48.900 --> 00:35:52.579
with a capital X, capital Z. The premise is,

00:35:52.860 --> 00:35:55.679
so you're told, is there's this lady who is a

00:35:55.679 --> 00:35:58.539
game designer and she's created this new game.

00:35:58.900 --> 00:36:02.860
And she's got a group of people to product test

00:36:02.860 --> 00:36:08.360
it. Things go wrong. Somebody tries to assassinate

00:36:08.360 --> 00:36:16.789
her. the um what are they called the bio the

00:36:16.789 --> 00:36:19.869
biopod whatever it's called what are they called

00:36:19.869 --> 00:36:22.710
i thought it was a biopod yeah i did write it

00:36:22.710 --> 00:36:24.690
down somewhere in my this is the most notes i've

00:36:24.690 --> 00:36:27.409
done for any film that we've ever done um and

00:36:27.409 --> 00:36:29.230
i can't actually remember yeah it's like this

00:36:29.230 --> 00:36:34.610
fleshy gooey thing that looks like it's got a

00:36:34.610 --> 00:36:39.070
g spot and then two little nips on it yeah it

00:36:39.070 --> 00:36:42.909
definitely looks like a vagina And they wiggle

00:36:42.909 --> 00:36:45.289
at it. And then there's like nip. One point he

00:36:45.289 --> 00:36:47.849
even flicks the nip. That's how they get in and

00:36:47.849 --> 00:36:52.690
out. It's so sexualized. But in a really gross

00:36:52.690 --> 00:36:55.809
way. Well, I was considering it like a placenta.

00:36:56.769 --> 00:36:59.670
Yeah, I guess it kind of. Because of the umbilicus

00:36:59.670 --> 00:37:01.570
coming out of it and all of that. So that is

00:37:01.570 --> 00:37:04.130
it, yes. It's this weird pod thing with a cord

00:37:04.130 --> 00:37:06.690
which looks like an umbilical cord, which goes

00:37:06.690 --> 00:37:10.579
and plugs into your back. quote unquote, it's

00:37:10.579 --> 00:37:13.360
just a hole in your back. And it's like, and

00:37:13.360 --> 00:37:15.059
Jude Law makes a really good, sorry, I'm going

00:37:15.059 --> 00:37:16.840
to get sidetracked really, a point of saying,

00:37:16.920 --> 00:37:19.000
you have an open hole into you, how does it not

00:37:19.000 --> 00:37:21.760
get infected? And her answer to that was, she

00:37:21.760 --> 00:37:24.489
opens her mouth to show him her mouth. As in,

00:37:24.489 --> 00:37:26.469
like, yeah, okay, your mouth is an open hole,

00:37:26.590 --> 00:37:29.510
but not directly to your spine. Like, that is

00:37:29.510 --> 00:37:32.750
an enclosed system that it's going into. Exactly.

00:37:32.769 --> 00:37:35.110
It's not like... It's not just a hole in your

00:37:35.110 --> 00:37:40.389
back. Yeah. And let's face it, 1999 also saw

00:37:40.389 --> 00:37:42.690
the release of The Matrix. That just put a port

00:37:42.690 --> 00:37:44.750
in the back of your skull into your brain, but

00:37:44.750 --> 00:37:48.010
it was still a nice... sterile it was a mechanical

00:37:48.010 --> 00:37:51.289
a mechanical thing you actually felt like it

00:37:51.289 --> 00:37:53.610
wasn't just going to let goop drop out or go

00:37:53.610 --> 00:37:57.750
in yeah that was a a coupling of mechanical you

00:37:57.750 --> 00:38:00.550
know cybernetics and you know exactly you know

00:38:00.550 --> 00:38:04.150
that made more sense than this gross thing that

00:38:04.150 --> 00:38:06.829
they were doing anyway the only copy of existence

00:38:06.829 --> 00:38:11.309
which is the name of the game is on her gooey

00:38:11.309 --> 00:38:16.269
pod thing and obviously things go wrong and it

00:38:16.269 --> 00:38:19.670
gets corrupted and the whole thing is like, we

00:38:19.670 --> 00:38:23.730
need to save this game for whatever reason. You

00:38:23.730 --> 00:38:26.269
know, whatever it is. Yeah, so basically she's

00:38:26.269 --> 00:38:29.170
got the one copy of the game, she's had a death

00:38:29.170 --> 00:38:32.329
mark put on her and they're trying to... All

00:38:32.329 --> 00:38:34.329
she wants to do is play her own fucking game

00:38:34.329 --> 00:38:36.889
to make sure it's okay after the trauma of everything

00:38:36.889 --> 00:38:38.809
that's going on. This was the thing about it.

00:38:38.869 --> 00:38:40.510
I was like, she's acting like she doesn't know

00:38:40.510 --> 00:38:42.269
the game. I was like, you fucking made the game.

00:38:42.570 --> 00:38:45.170
How do you not know how the game goes? I'm going

00:38:45.170 --> 00:38:47.969
to just hold my hands up here. I paused it at

00:38:47.969 --> 00:38:49.789
the very beginning of the church scene when everyone

00:38:49.789 --> 00:38:53.010
got shot and when they're in the game, aren't

00:38:53.010 --> 00:38:57.070
they? Oh, absolutely. Immediately I was like,

00:38:57.210 --> 00:38:58.769
because I don't even remember the film. I know

00:38:58.769 --> 00:39:02.070
I've seen it. It was one of those, like Interview

00:39:02.070 --> 00:39:03.849
the Vampire, it was one of those films that was

00:39:03.849 --> 00:39:05.409
always on in the middle of the fucking night.

00:39:05.570 --> 00:39:09.269
So I'd seen it a million times but never... all

00:39:09.269 --> 00:39:11.869
in one go at one time. So I think this might

00:39:11.869 --> 00:39:13.230
have been the first time I've watched it beginning

00:39:13.230 --> 00:39:15.269
to end. Even though I've seen every section.

00:39:15.389 --> 00:39:17.590
As it's a short film, it's one hour, 36 minutes.

00:39:17.849 --> 00:39:22.070
Yeah. And I clocked it from the very beginning.

00:39:22.489 --> 00:39:25.239
I was like, they're clearly in the game. They're

00:39:25.239 --> 00:39:26.860
already in the game. Clearly going to already

00:39:26.860 --> 00:39:28.980
be in the game. This is all just a whole load

00:39:28.980 --> 00:39:30.820
of bollocks all the way through. And then it

00:39:30.820 --> 00:39:33.079
tries to do an inception on you at the end. Are

00:39:33.079 --> 00:39:35.719
they really in it or are they not? It's very

00:39:35.719 --> 00:39:39.239
inception. Inception took ideas from this. So

00:39:39.239 --> 00:39:44.039
if you look at from the end of the film and then

00:39:44.039 --> 00:39:46.340
go backwards, you realise they're in the game

00:39:46.340 --> 00:39:49.059
to be in the game to be in the game, which is

00:39:49.059 --> 00:39:51.320
exactly what Inception did, wasn't it? You've

00:39:51.320 --> 00:39:54.780
got to be in the dream to be in the dream. They

00:39:54.780 --> 00:39:57.119
try to mindfuck you and make you think, am I

00:39:57.119 --> 00:39:58.400
still in it? They were really in a game called

00:39:58.400 --> 00:40:01.880
Transcendence. Transcendence, which is such a

00:40:01.880 --> 00:40:05.780
90s thing, isn't it? They did a great job with

00:40:05.780 --> 00:40:09.780
all the wordplay in this, I will say. 100%. And

00:40:09.780 --> 00:40:13.920
whoever made the biopod, whoever made the weird

00:40:13.920 --> 00:40:17.280
little lizard creatures that they pull out and

00:40:17.280 --> 00:40:20.679
have to gut, the designers of the sets and the

00:40:20.679 --> 00:40:22.780
monster creators, they did a really good job,

00:40:22.920 --> 00:40:25.690
didn't they? Oh, I mean, it's amazing. I mean,

00:40:25.710 --> 00:40:27.449
when they're in the game shop, you've got all

00:40:27.449 --> 00:40:29.250
the games dotted around and all the packaging

00:40:29.250 --> 00:40:31.550
and they've all got props in them. It's all been

00:40:31.550 --> 00:40:34.230
properly vacuum packed and sealed. It's really,

00:40:34.230 --> 00:40:37.010
really, really good. It's really detailed. You

00:40:37.010 --> 00:40:41.130
cannot take away from that. Yeah. All of that.

00:40:41.170 --> 00:40:44.789
And even the gross bioport on their back looks

00:40:44.789 --> 00:40:47.269
good. It looks as you'd kind of expect it to

00:40:47.269 --> 00:40:51.150
be. They're called game pods. Game pods, right,

00:40:51.250 --> 00:40:53.710
okay. I did write it down, yeah. It's just, yeah,

00:40:53.869 --> 00:40:59.380
it just... So, she gets... So when they're doing

00:40:59.380 --> 00:41:01.420
kind of this like round table thing where they're

00:41:01.420 --> 00:41:03.480
getting, it's right at the beginning where they're

00:41:03.480 --> 00:41:06.079
telling people that there's this new game and,

00:41:06.099 --> 00:41:07.880
you know, you're going to have a go. And then

00:41:07.880 --> 00:41:11.079
someone turns up late and it's Jude Law is there.

00:41:11.159 --> 00:41:14.360
Like he's acting as if he's like security, but

00:41:14.360 --> 00:41:15.619
actually he's not. He's just part of the marketing

00:41:15.619 --> 00:41:17.940
team. So he's scanning people's cards to diminish

00:41:17.940 --> 00:41:21.260
it down. And this guy has an original game pod

00:41:21.260 --> 00:41:25.159
and a really funny looking gross thing. But what

00:41:25.159 --> 00:41:28.719
happens is he pulls out. I was calling it the

00:41:28.719 --> 00:41:32.960
flesh pistol, but it's like a gun made of bone.

00:41:32.960 --> 00:41:37.000
They call it an organic bone gun. The props are

00:41:37.000 --> 00:41:39.139
calling that anyway. Yeah, but I was calling

00:41:39.139 --> 00:41:41.340
it the flesh pistol or the flesh gun just because

00:41:41.340 --> 00:41:43.679
it looked gross. Yeah, and he actually shoots

00:41:43.679 --> 00:41:46.480
teeth. What a fucking cool idea. I've got to

00:41:46.480 --> 00:41:50.659
say, it probably wouldn't work, but what a great

00:41:50.659 --> 00:41:53.019
idea to get through the metal detectors is have

00:41:53.019 --> 00:41:56.760
a gun made of bone. Yeah, exactly. It's a very,

00:41:56.820 --> 00:41:58.800
very cool idea. And the design of the weapon

00:41:58.800 --> 00:42:02.860
was brilliant. And then what a great thing is

00:42:02.860 --> 00:42:05.059
later on in the film, you see how that gun is

00:42:05.059 --> 00:42:08.539
made. So that was very cool. And that was a repulsive

00:42:08.539 --> 00:42:11.420
kind of thing. But what I really liked was, did

00:42:11.420 --> 00:42:15.400
you notice that they start playing a second game?

00:42:16.320 --> 00:42:19.099
So they go into Existence and they're in the

00:42:19.099 --> 00:42:21.480
game shop, aren't they? Yes. And if you look

00:42:21.480 --> 00:42:23.579
around, if you look closely on all of the racks

00:42:23.579 --> 00:42:25.239
are different games. There are, yeah. And there's

00:42:25.239 --> 00:42:30.119
a game called Hit by a Car. Yeah, yeah. Viral

00:42:30.119 --> 00:42:32.360
Ecstasy is one of the games. You just said Hit

00:42:32.360 --> 00:42:34.300
by a Car. Have you been watching that thing on

00:42:34.300 --> 00:42:39.420
Netflix? No. That's called... Oh, no, maybe...

00:42:39.420 --> 00:42:43.000
No, that was something else. There's a Tom Segura

00:42:43.000 --> 00:42:46.719
show that's on Netflix now. Right. And one of

00:42:46.719 --> 00:42:49.019
them in there where he's playing a game and it

00:42:49.019 --> 00:42:51.739
was like... but yeah the hit by car is in this

00:42:51.739 --> 00:42:54.119
so i was then getting confused okay so yeah there's

00:42:54.119 --> 00:42:59.420
hit by a car viral ecstasy and then chinese restaurant

00:42:59.420 --> 00:43:04.039
can you escape and obviously they play that game

00:43:04.039 --> 00:43:06.159
and that's what's really clever about it it's

00:43:06.159 --> 00:43:08.039
like they were in the game shop and they're now

00:43:08.039 --> 00:43:10.699
playing a game from the game shop within a game

00:43:10.699 --> 00:43:15.039
i quite liked that but you don't Is it because

00:43:15.039 --> 00:43:18.500
it's corrupted that that happens? Because I made

00:43:18.500 --> 00:43:20.940
that connection too. But they haven't chosen

00:43:20.940 --> 00:43:26.139
to play the Chinese restaurant. It's just doing

00:43:26.139 --> 00:43:28.460
it. This is the whole thing I never understood

00:43:28.460 --> 00:43:30.559
about the entire film. I don't understand how

00:43:30.559 --> 00:43:32.179
she's made the game, but she doesn't know what

00:43:32.179 --> 00:43:34.619
the fuck's going on. And why does it keep chopping

00:43:34.619 --> 00:43:36.559
and changing between things? Once they're in

00:43:36.559 --> 00:43:39.400
existence, you'd expect it to stay within existence.

00:43:39.519 --> 00:43:42.360
It's not, oh, why am I now in a completely different

00:43:42.360 --> 00:43:45.530
scene? Unless it's like... Surely you'd have...

00:43:45.530 --> 00:43:49.550
Actually, how to explain this? Well, before we

00:43:49.550 --> 00:43:51.969
explain that, so they're in existence and they

00:43:51.969 --> 00:43:55.170
put out some very key things that are very regular

00:43:55.170 --> 00:43:58.150
in games now. So NPCs are exactly that. They

00:43:58.150 --> 00:44:00.469
are non -playable characters and the ones that

00:44:00.469 --> 00:44:02.849
you interact with will just sit there on loop

00:44:02.849 --> 00:44:05.210
until you say the right thing. And the guy's

00:44:05.210 --> 00:44:07.469
literally stood there going, oh, oh, oh, screaming

00:44:07.469 --> 00:44:08.949
his head around. So we're expected to believe

00:44:08.949 --> 00:44:10.949
that they've gone into that much detail that

00:44:10.949 --> 00:44:13.090
they're going to include shit like that. But

00:44:13.090 --> 00:44:14.730
we're not going to then get a cut scene which

00:44:14.730 --> 00:44:17.150
explains why they've gone from the game shop.

00:44:17.559 --> 00:44:21.199
now into the Trout Factory, and then into Chinese

00:44:21.199 --> 00:44:24.019
Restaurant Escape Game, there's no explanation

00:44:24.019 --> 00:44:27.500
why they moved between those two areas. And that's

00:44:27.500 --> 00:44:31.679
a bit jarring. And as you say, if she was the

00:44:31.679 --> 00:44:33.960
creator of the game, surely she'd know why. And

00:44:33.960 --> 00:44:36.019
still we ever get her saying is, oh, you'll get

00:44:36.019 --> 00:44:38.619
used to it. It's just the neural kind of excitement

00:44:38.619 --> 00:44:42.260
of it. And that's what then gives you away more

00:44:42.260 --> 00:44:44.119
and more that if you didn't get it at the beginning

00:44:44.119 --> 00:44:47.590
that... they are just playing the game and they're

00:44:47.590 --> 00:44:50.329
already in the game to be playing the game again

00:44:50.329 --> 00:44:52.989
and that this is just being generated based on

00:44:52.989 --> 00:44:56.630
ideas that are going on in their head at the

00:44:56.630 --> 00:45:02.969
actual game level yeah it it was confusing not

00:45:02.969 --> 00:45:04.730
so much confusing that you couldn't keep watching

00:45:04.730 --> 00:45:06.449
it but confusing enough that when the whole thing

00:45:06.449 --> 00:45:10.230
ended i was a bit like do i not understand what's

00:45:10.230 --> 00:45:14.449
going on because i'm stupid or did i Was there

00:45:14.449 --> 00:45:16.469
something that needed to be a little bit more

00:45:16.469 --> 00:45:19.610
explanation for me? I think they thought they

00:45:19.610 --> 00:45:22.989
were being clever. And I think the very end bit

00:45:22.989 --> 00:45:26.429
when the soldier turns up and destroys the game.

00:45:26.449 --> 00:45:28.170
I thought that was a little bit ridiculous. And

00:45:28.170 --> 00:45:29.889
then they're literally just stood in a field

00:45:29.889 --> 00:45:32.250
with things blowing up around them, talking to

00:45:32.250 --> 00:45:33.809
each other. And she blows his spine out, which

00:45:33.809 --> 00:45:35.889
is a brilliant scene, by the way, his back exploding.

00:45:36.050 --> 00:45:40.309
Yeah. Those squibs are really good. It just felt

00:45:40.309 --> 00:45:43.380
like. They got to the point, if you haven't guessed

00:45:43.380 --> 00:45:45.139
that they're already in the game at this point,

00:45:45.260 --> 00:45:47.920
we're going to make sure you now know it. The

00:45:47.920 --> 00:45:51.619
game. Well, that was the most gamey bit because

00:45:51.619 --> 00:45:53.460
it felt like, yeah, this is a game character.

00:45:53.519 --> 00:45:56.780
This is quite clearly a game character. But this

00:45:56.780 --> 00:46:01.219
is after they've had the realisation of them

00:46:01.219 --> 00:46:04.099
being in the transcendent. So this is like after

00:46:04.099 --> 00:46:05.780
all of that. Well, this is it. Yeah, they've

00:46:05.780 --> 00:46:08.079
just unplugged from their game board, which is

00:46:08.079 --> 00:46:10.730
now... virus and whatever from the trout factory

00:46:10.730 --> 00:46:14.650
they're meant to be in the safe house and that's

00:46:14.650 --> 00:46:16.150
when they're then outside they've just killed

00:46:16.150 --> 00:46:20.150
ian holmes um and yeah they're just no this is

00:46:20.150 --> 00:46:23.710
this no this you've missed a bit so this bit

00:46:23.710 --> 00:46:32.250
they're in now is after they've come out of The

00:46:32.250 --> 00:46:34.250
transcendence bit. Oh, no, no. I'm talking about

00:46:34.250 --> 00:46:36.110
the bit when they're in the middle of the field

00:46:36.110 --> 00:46:38.050
tool. So when she blows his back out and you've

00:46:38.050 --> 00:46:38.929
got everything. Yeah, but that's how the game,

00:46:38.989 --> 00:46:40.489
that's how it ends. Yeah, but that's what I mean.

00:46:40.530 --> 00:46:42.590
But that's what I'm saying is the film director

00:46:42.590 --> 00:46:45.070
of Cronenberg and everyone basically must have

00:46:45.070 --> 00:46:46.889
been thinking, we've got to give them an idea

00:46:46.889 --> 00:46:49.230
to make sure if they haven't realised it's still

00:46:49.230 --> 00:46:52.530
the game at this point. Yeah, but that's the

00:46:52.530 --> 00:46:56.090
thing though. But it's an ending just like what

00:46:56.090 --> 00:46:59.539
Inception does where you never see the... The

00:46:59.539 --> 00:47:02.119
spinny thing drop. Then they come out and they

00:47:02.119 --> 00:47:05.360
kill the actual game designer. And it's like,

00:47:05.460 --> 00:47:07.480
yeah, you're still left with the idea of, are

00:47:07.480 --> 00:47:10.800
we still in the game? No, I thought they kill

00:47:10.800 --> 00:47:14.119
the game designer and then it's the bit where

00:47:14.119 --> 00:47:19.420
she kills Jude Law and that's how it ends. No.

00:47:19.820 --> 00:47:21.880
After that's how it ended. Are we going to have

00:47:21.880 --> 00:47:23.400
to pause it? No, you've gone completely backwards,

00:47:23.559 --> 00:47:27.239
mate. She kills Jude Law and then shouts, have

00:47:27.239 --> 00:47:29.860
I won the game? And then they all wake up in

00:47:29.860 --> 00:47:31.679
the church and they're talking about my roles

00:47:31.679 --> 00:47:33.280
and Christopher Eccleston. I've got so fucking

00:47:33.280 --> 00:47:35.079
confused. You've got yourself backwards, mate.

00:47:35.159 --> 00:47:39.400
So yeah, she blows his back open. Yeah. And then

00:47:39.400 --> 00:47:41.900
says, have I won the game? And then it comes

00:47:41.900 --> 00:47:43.840
back to the church scene and everyone's discussing

00:47:43.840 --> 00:47:46.179
their part in the game. Like the Chinese chef

00:47:46.179 --> 00:47:48.760
is basically saying about, oh, the soup's on

00:47:48.760 --> 00:47:51.099
me. Ha ha ha ha ha. Sorry, of course. Eccleston,

00:47:51.099 --> 00:47:54.780
I was a bit disappointed. Not Eccleston. I think

00:47:54.780 --> 00:47:57.039
it's Holmes in Eccleston. but do a little back

00:47:57.039 --> 00:47:59.199
and forth about it was such a shame that our

00:47:59.199 --> 00:48:01.760
roles were so short. I was a little disappointed

00:48:01.760 --> 00:48:03.840
that our role was short and didn't feel like

00:48:03.840 --> 00:48:06.039
the character was required. And then they kill

00:48:06.039 --> 00:48:07.699
the actual designer. Yeah, because then that's

00:48:07.699 --> 00:48:09.639
when it appears on her, sorry. Yeah, because

00:48:09.639 --> 00:48:12.179
that's when the transcendence equipment is, yes,

00:48:12.199 --> 00:48:15.300
sorry. Then it gets to the point, well, of course

00:48:15.300 --> 00:48:17.199
they wouldn't be making a fucking game console

00:48:17.199 --> 00:48:21.400
out of a fish. It's a physical device that they're

00:48:21.400 --> 00:48:23.179
wearing on their head, which looks a little alien.

00:48:23.789 --> 00:48:26.110
Which then makes sense. That's what gives it

00:48:26.110 --> 00:48:27.409
away at the beginning of the film. It's like

00:48:27.409 --> 00:48:30.670
no one would be genuinely believing that they

00:48:30.670 --> 00:48:32.409
were just going to have a port in the back. It

00:48:32.409 --> 00:48:35.909
felt very fictional straight away. Well, I think

00:48:35.909 --> 00:48:38.150
that proves to you how confused I did end up

00:48:38.150 --> 00:48:39.769
being when I was completely not understanding

00:48:39.769 --> 00:48:43.630
how the whole fucking thing ended. Stand out.

00:48:43.920 --> 00:48:45.980
Characters for me, I thought Willem Dafoe was

00:48:45.980 --> 00:48:48.219
brilliant. Right, so yeah, looking at my notes

00:48:48.219 --> 00:48:50.679
here, I'm glad you brought Dafoe up because my

00:48:50.679 --> 00:48:53.679
notes here is... What was his character called?

00:48:53.760 --> 00:49:00.039
His character was called Gas. Yeah, Gas. Do you

00:49:00.039 --> 00:49:04.380
think Dafoe even needs directing? No. It's just

00:49:04.380 --> 00:49:08.380
like, there's the script, just be you. It's like,

00:49:08.420 --> 00:49:13.239
what's his name in... the apple tv show that

00:49:13.239 --> 00:49:16.340
we've been watching oh i know the severance guy

00:49:16.340 --> 00:49:18.219
severance yeah it's like you don't need to direct

00:49:18.219 --> 00:49:20.559
him either he just fucking goes what's that guy's

00:49:20.559 --> 00:49:23.159
called i can't think of his name i know who you

00:49:23.159 --> 00:49:25.880
made and the world knows you so here's a question

00:49:25.880 --> 00:49:29.619
do you think when they're escaping the church

00:49:29.619 --> 00:49:34.820
at the beginning you've got really terrible terrible

00:49:34.820 --> 00:49:38.000
kind of effect so they've not done green screen

00:49:38.000 --> 00:49:40.820
what they've done is they've got a rear projection

00:49:40.820 --> 00:49:44.019
screen set up in front of behind the car and

00:49:44.019 --> 00:49:45.519
then they're filming them in the car with the

00:49:45.519 --> 00:49:47.460
rear projection going so it looks like they're

00:49:47.460 --> 00:49:52.519
driving along um and they've just got this this

00:49:52.519 --> 00:49:55.940
b footage rolling behind it looks awful yeah

00:49:55.940 --> 00:49:59.159
christopher walking by Yeah, it does. It wears

00:49:59.159 --> 00:50:01.320
of the era, isn't it? And they just were all

00:50:01.320 --> 00:50:03.980
a bit like that. No, but it wasn't. They could

00:50:03.980 --> 00:50:06.320
have done it so much better. I'm wondering, did

00:50:06.320 --> 00:50:08.579
they do it to give you the idea that they're

00:50:08.579 --> 00:50:11.199
in the game, so it's not meant to be quite real?

00:50:11.239 --> 00:50:13.840
It's not meant to feel... I don't know. You might

00:50:13.840 --> 00:50:15.420
be giving them too much credit. I don't know,

00:50:15.440 --> 00:50:17.539
because a lot of it, things like the gas station

00:50:17.539 --> 00:50:21.860
and the ski lodge, it's got something very liminal

00:50:21.860 --> 00:50:24.400
about it. And with Cronenberg, it wouldn't...

00:50:25.530 --> 00:50:27.929
liminal spaces and how they make you feel it

00:50:27.929 --> 00:50:32.110
it fits the idea that it's not meant to it doesn't

00:50:32.110 --> 00:50:34.150
feel real it doesn't feel like it's meant to

00:50:34.150 --> 00:50:36.909
be a natural place so that that liminal feeling

00:50:36.909 --> 00:50:39.329
is meant to add to it feeling a bit like a game

00:50:39.329 --> 00:50:45.590
i don't know but um it's all a little it just

00:50:45.590 --> 00:50:49.690
all feels a little bit odd and i really don't

00:50:49.690 --> 00:50:53.349
understand this one okay why does she carry her

00:50:53.349 --> 00:50:56.110
game pod around in a ski boot Yeah, I didn't

00:50:56.110 --> 00:50:57.929
get that either. Because if you're thinking she's

00:50:57.929 --> 00:50:59.769
trying to hide it, she's only carrying one boot.

00:51:00.050 --> 00:51:02.469
Yeah, she's carrying one boot with an umbilical

00:51:02.469 --> 00:51:04.590
cord hanging out of it most of the time. I think

00:51:04.590 --> 00:51:07.670
we know what's in there. Yeah, I didn't get that

00:51:07.670 --> 00:51:11.630
either. Some quirky thing. And how 90s was her

00:51:11.630 --> 00:51:15.210
hairstyle too? Oh, it's so 90s, the whole film.

00:51:15.469 --> 00:51:17.690
The thing that I will say, I'm not the biggest

00:51:17.690 --> 00:51:21.630
fan of Jude Law, but his acting in this, going

00:51:21.630 --> 00:51:26.300
from the mild -mannered sort of... employee game

00:51:26.300 --> 00:51:31.199
character he's playing to then the NPC kind of

00:51:31.199 --> 00:51:34.199
character that she's assigned him. The switch

00:51:34.199 --> 00:51:37.239
is so good. He's so good at going from this little

00:51:37.239 --> 00:51:40.400
mild manner. What do you mean? You're not going

00:51:40.400 --> 00:51:42.340
to tell me where you're going. And then suddenly

00:51:42.340 --> 00:51:44.480
this complete change in his character and like

00:51:44.480 --> 00:51:48.599
emotions. Wow. That's quite good. If I was going

00:51:48.599 --> 00:51:50.719
to pick, I was in anyone's acting. If I had to

00:51:50.719 --> 00:51:52.420
do that, I think she's probably the worst one

00:51:52.420 --> 00:51:54.820
in it. Oh, no, I don't know. I think Ian Holmes

00:51:54.820 --> 00:51:58.679
is pretty bad. I love Ian Holmes, but jeez. The

00:51:58.679 --> 00:52:00.579
really thick accent, which I know he makes a

00:52:00.579 --> 00:52:04.300
joke of in the end by saying, even I couldn't

00:52:04.300 --> 00:52:06.219
understand my thick accent. And it's like, yeah,

00:52:06.320 --> 00:52:08.340
well, it was pretty bad. They all had accents.

00:52:08.480 --> 00:52:10.880
Christopher Eccleston's accent was awful. Oh,

00:52:10.900 --> 00:52:13.019
my God, wasn't it? We all know how amazing an

00:52:13.019 --> 00:52:15.980
actor he is. To have that accent was like, what's

00:52:15.980 --> 00:52:18.769
happening? But wow, what did he look like? Yeah.

00:52:18.769 --> 00:52:21.269
Wow, 90s Eccleston is not a good thing to look

00:52:21.269 --> 00:52:24.550
at. He aged like one, didn't he? He definitely

00:52:24.550 --> 00:52:27.670
got better. Yeah, six years later, we got him

00:52:27.670 --> 00:52:29.750
in Doctor Who. He looks fine. Yeah, he's all

00:52:29.750 --> 00:52:31.869
right then. Or in Dog Soldiers. He looks good

00:52:31.869 --> 00:52:35.550
in Dog Soldiers too. Does he look okay in Gone

00:52:35.550 --> 00:52:38.429
in 60 Seconds? I don't remember him being in

00:52:38.429 --> 00:52:40.110
Gone in 60 Seconds. He's the bad guy. Is he?

00:52:40.670 --> 00:52:43.769
He's the one they're delivering cars to. Maybe

00:52:43.769 --> 00:52:45.849
I haven't seen Gone in 60 Seconds. Oh, I love

00:52:45.849 --> 00:52:49.780
it. I mean, it's very typical Cronenberg design.

00:52:49.900 --> 00:52:52.840
So all the things that you see, so all the mutated

00:52:52.840 --> 00:52:56.219
creatures in the trout farm, the game pod itself,

00:52:56.360 --> 00:52:58.739
the gun, that is all straight out of Cronenberg's

00:52:58.739 --> 00:53:01.360
books, just full stop. And it's all really deeply

00:53:01.360 --> 00:53:03.880
unsettling. The bit when they cut open the game

00:53:03.880 --> 00:53:06.159
pod and he's poking around and it's like... Yeah,

00:53:06.179 --> 00:53:08.579
he did the surgery on it. It felt really uncomfortable

00:53:08.579 --> 00:53:11.699
and really not nice to watch. Yeah, I think every

00:53:11.699 --> 00:53:14.579
single part where it actually did focus on the

00:53:14.579 --> 00:53:17.480
actual mechanics of the game pod, the portholes,

00:53:17.699 --> 00:53:21.260
the creatures. Oh, him cutting open the fish

00:53:21.260 --> 00:53:23.519
thing, the trap and stripping out the organs.

00:53:23.579 --> 00:53:26.579
Yeah, I really felt viscerally sick watching

00:53:26.579 --> 00:53:29.820
all of it. I felt very, as I said, I really hated

00:53:29.820 --> 00:53:33.380
those back holes. The bioports, I hated them.

00:53:33.500 --> 00:53:35.940
And I don't have that hole phobia. You know,

00:53:35.960 --> 00:53:37.300
it's got that weird name for people who don't

00:53:37.300 --> 00:53:40.480
like holes and stuff. Yeah, I'm vaguely like

00:53:40.480 --> 00:53:42.860
that. And I can't think of its name now. But

00:53:42.860 --> 00:53:44.860
I think if people did have that, they couldn't

00:53:44.860 --> 00:53:48.469
watch this. It was revolting. Every time, my

00:53:48.469 --> 00:53:52.039
toes curled up, kind of like, ugh. God, having

00:53:52.039 --> 00:53:54.440
a physical reaction to these things, making it

00:53:54.440 --> 00:53:55.900
sound like I didn't like the film. I loved the

00:53:55.900 --> 00:53:57.559
film. I thought the film was great, even though

00:53:57.559 --> 00:53:59.300
clearly I didn't understand what was going on.

00:53:59.719 --> 00:54:02.280
Trypophobia or trypophobia. Yeah, so obviously

00:54:02.280 --> 00:54:05.139
I didn't understand what was going on. I've proven

00:54:05.139 --> 00:54:07.000
that by talking about it for the last 20 minutes

00:54:07.000 --> 00:54:08.500
that I didn't know what was happening or even

00:54:08.500 --> 00:54:10.480
the order of things. I didn't like the holes.

00:54:10.860 --> 00:54:13.420
I didn't think she acted particularly well. She

00:54:13.420 --> 00:54:17.500
was quite wooden. Yes. But... willem defoe i

00:54:17.500 --> 00:54:19.900
thought was fantastic i really like jude law

00:54:19.900 --> 00:54:22.179
gotta say he looks really young in this and he

00:54:22.179 --> 00:54:24.699
actually reminded me a little bit of a when he's

00:54:24.699 --> 00:54:31.300
playing the um slightly coy employee ted piker

00:54:31.300 --> 00:54:33.860
or whatever his name was reminded me of toby

00:54:33.860 --> 00:54:36.760
mcguire yeah a little bit yeah i could see that

00:54:36.760 --> 00:54:39.099
be interesting to see who actually went for the

00:54:39.099 --> 00:54:41.760
role and who didn't get it yeah that would be

00:54:41.760 --> 00:54:44.659
an interesting one actually i i Yeah, I agree.

00:54:45.260 --> 00:54:48.500
I loved all of the set stuff, as I said. Things

00:54:48.500 --> 00:54:50.159
like the actual stuff. Set design was great.

00:54:50.579 --> 00:54:52.880
And things like in the game shop. Having all

00:54:52.880 --> 00:54:56.000
the games like Hit by a Car, Bass Fishing, Chinese

00:54:56.000 --> 00:54:58.219
Restaurant, Bear Attack was another one of the

00:54:58.219 --> 00:55:00.480
games you could have played. All of that was

00:55:00.480 --> 00:55:04.860
brilliant. It's just, it's a very random story.

00:55:05.059 --> 00:55:09.059
If you enjoy being kind of jolted around and

00:55:09.059 --> 00:55:12.920
not fully making sense of what's going on. It's

00:55:12.920 --> 00:55:15.320
fine. It's an enjoyable film. I wouldn't say

00:55:15.320 --> 00:55:17.579
it's for everyone. Not by a long shot. Certainly

00:55:17.579 --> 00:55:21.820
not, no. The audio as well. I've got to say this.

00:55:22.099 --> 00:55:25.699
The audio is dreadful in that film. One minute,

00:55:25.820 --> 00:55:28.280
it's fairly good and you can tell that they're

00:55:28.280 --> 00:55:30.840
using an overhead mic and it's actual conversation

00:55:30.840 --> 00:55:33.679
going on. And then the very next minute, you've

00:55:33.679 --> 00:55:36.400
quite obviously got one of them doing a voiceover

00:55:36.400 --> 00:55:40.159
of the clip. And I've got here, audio almost

00:55:40.159 --> 00:55:43.110
feels like, at points, It's a foreign dub of

00:55:43.110 --> 00:55:45.969
a film where they've obviously fucked the sound

00:55:45.969 --> 00:55:47.630
up. So it's just like, right, we've got to do,

00:55:47.730 --> 00:55:49.730
can you do that line again and we'll just paste

00:55:49.730 --> 00:55:51.250
it over the top. It might have been a scene with

00:55:51.250 --> 00:55:54.170
Eccleston or maybe it's Jude Law and it's on

00:55:54.170 --> 00:55:56.449
a profile of them both. Yeah, and he's kind of

00:55:56.449 --> 00:56:00.230
grabbing her, I think. And clearly the voice

00:56:00.230 --> 00:56:02.610
isn't the voice he's saying at the time. It's

00:56:02.610 --> 00:56:05.389
quite obvious. It's just not quite right. The

00:56:05.389 --> 00:56:07.760
sound quality is a little bit. different than

00:56:07.760 --> 00:56:09.179
the rest of the scene but also it doesn't quite

00:56:09.179 --> 00:56:11.280
match what he's saying clearly they've dubbed

00:56:11.280 --> 00:56:14.019
it in post yeah there's a lot of dubbing being

00:56:14.019 --> 00:56:15.860
done i'm guessing they had to re -record because

00:56:15.860 --> 00:56:18.619
of either noise on set or something didn't didn't

00:56:18.619 --> 00:56:21.820
go quite right um and i just feel it's been done

00:56:21.820 --> 00:56:25.360
fairly badly because it is it's very distracting

00:56:25.360 --> 00:56:28.880
because it's quite obvious that someone in a

00:56:28.880 --> 00:56:31.159
studio has just said a line when the rest of

00:56:31.159 --> 00:56:33.400
the sound has got people speaking you've got

00:56:33.400 --> 00:56:37.139
background ambience yeah So it's quite cutting.

00:56:39.039 --> 00:56:42.199
Have you got much else to say? No, I don't. There's

00:56:42.199 --> 00:56:44.760
something I want to say, and I don't know if

00:56:44.760 --> 00:56:46.880
you'll agree to this one. It's definitely of

00:56:46.880 --> 00:56:50.539
its era. It's definitely of the 90s. I've got

00:56:50.539 --> 00:56:54.860
here, it felt like it could have been a better

00:56:54.860 --> 00:56:58.159
X -Files or Outer Limits episode than a film.

00:56:58.760 --> 00:57:01.980
As much as I enjoyed the film... I think if you'd

00:57:01.980 --> 00:57:04.659
put that in the outer limits as a one hour long

00:57:04.659 --> 00:57:08.420
episode, you could have done more with it and

00:57:08.420 --> 00:57:11.039
I would have probably enjoyed it more knowing

00:57:11.039 --> 00:57:15.219
it was part of a TV series than it as a film.

00:57:15.320 --> 00:57:16.820
I don't know how you'd get it into the X -Files.

00:57:16.880 --> 00:57:19.340
The bioport thing is the thing that takes it

00:57:19.340 --> 00:57:22.340
away because how are you going to get that into

00:57:22.340 --> 00:57:25.079
a Mulder? I don't know. I think you could probably

00:57:25.079 --> 00:57:27.840
get away with it as a one -off episode. Don't

00:57:27.840 --> 00:57:29.840
forget we've got episodes like Eugene Toons,

00:57:29.840 --> 00:57:32.340
the man who eats a liver every 10 or 20 years

00:57:32.340 --> 00:57:33.900
and lives in his own spit -filled cocoon. What

00:57:33.900 --> 00:57:35.940
they would do is it actually attached to your

00:57:35.940 --> 00:57:38.199
belly button. Yeah. And it would be something

00:57:38.199 --> 00:57:39.960
saying that it injects into your belly button

00:57:39.960 --> 00:57:43.039
a needle. And that's what they would do. Because

00:57:43.039 --> 00:57:44.679
then it gets rid of the bioport thing and you

00:57:44.679 --> 00:57:46.239
could put it out and then in the next episode

00:57:46.239 --> 00:57:47.960
people wouldn't be going, what happened to his

00:57:47.960 --> 00:57:51.829
bioport? Yeah, exactly. It just felt very much

00:57:51.829 --> 00:57:54.829
like me. It felt much more of a sci -fi TV show

00:57:54.829 --> 00:57:57.510
idea than it would have been a film. And in fact,

00:57:57.510 --> 00:57:59.670
you could have even maybe have done it as a two

00:57:59.670 --> 00:58:03.429
- or three -part TV show rather than a film.

00:58:03.630 --> 00:58:05.690
And you could have maybe then done a bit more

00:58:05.690 --> 00:58:07.829
in depth and maybe made it a bit more coherent,

00:58:08.050 --> 00:58:11.210
maybe. Maybe one day they will. It wouldn't surprise

00:58:11.210 --> 00:58:16.570
me the way we're going. Existence is paused!

00:58:18.549 --> 00:58:20.369
So, next time. I haven't told you what we're

00:58:20.369 --> 00:58:22.449
doing. No, you haven't. Again, I'm keeping them

00:58:22.449 --> 00:58:25.590
secret. My own little precious secrets until

00:58:25.590 --> 00:58:26.730
we come to the show. Well, I've got a film I'd

00:58:26.730 --> 00:58:28.590
like us to do at some point. So, go on. What

00:58:28.590 --> 00:58:34.429
are we doing this time? It is a 1987, I think,

00:58:34.429 --> 00:58:37.730
classic. It's a funny one because we've not done

00:58:37.730 --> 00:58:40.329
a funny one in a while. Spaceballs. Ah, fair

00:58:40.329 --> 00:58:41.190
enough. Good choice. Yeah, we're going to do

00:58:41.190 --> 00:58:45.460
Spaceballs. Why not? Yeah. I was thinking we're

00:58:45.460 --> 00:58:46.800
going to do Running Man. I keep pushing it back

00:58:46.800 --> 00:58:49.239
because you've showed me there's potentially

00:58:49.239 --> 00:58:51.820
a new Running Man film coming out. There's the

00:58:51.820 --> 00:58:53.739
Running Man film coming out, which is more based

00:58:53.739 --> 00:58:55.719
on the book. And if you read what everyone's

00:58:55.719 --> 00:58:58.199
saying, the original Running Man film is actually

00:58:58.199 --> 00:59:01.119
nothing like the book. Whereas this new one is

00:59:01.119 --> 00:59:03.519
going to be very, very much based on the book.

00:59:03.840 --> 00:59:07.940
So actually, I'm looking forward to it because

00:59:07.940 --> 00:59:09.800
it actually sounds like I might like to read

00:59:09.800 --> 00:59:13.420
the book. So the book basically says... the running

00:59:13.420 --> 00:59:17.820
man is someone that in the whole world and the

00:59:17.820 --> 00:59:21.920
whole world are just told kill this person yeah

00:59:21.920 --> 00:59:25.760
so there's no meatloaf on a motorbike covered

00:59:25.760 --> 00:59:29.280
in light bulbs there's no none of that well we

00:59:29.280 --> 00:59:31.739
will get there it's people out there that are

00:59:31.739 --> 00:59:34.780
kind of just because they've been told to so

00:59:34.780 --> 00:59:37.460
i'm looking forward to seeing the differences

00:59:37.460 --> 00:59:39.500
and i think that might be one that's worth doing

00:59:39.500 --> 00:59:42.730
a contrast going Which was the better film? Which

00:59:42.730 --> 00:59:45.969
was the more fun film? I'll tell you what we'll

00:59:45.969 --> 00:59:50.010
do. We'll wait for it to be out in a couple of

00:59:50.010 --> 00:59:53.010
years' time. If we're still doing this, we'll

00:59:53.010 --> 00:59:55.789
watch the original Running Man, then go to the

00:59:55.789 --> 00:59:58.530
cinema to watch the new Running Man, and we'll

00:59:58.530 --> 01:00:00.630
talk about them both at the same time. Sounds

01:00:00.630 --> 01:00:04.369
a very good idea to me. Two years' time. Oh,

01:00:04.389 --> 01:00:07.690
and the guest intro that you heard to start this

01:00:07.690 --> 01:00:09.920
one is another 80s special, by the way. They're

01:00:09.920 --> 01:00:13.019
all 80s films again. So have fun with that. No,

01:00:13.039 --> 01:00:17.139
they aren't. 90s, you idiot. They are 90s films.

01:00:18.019 --> 01:00:21.239
I don't get paid enough for this. I'm going back

01:00:21.239 --> 01:00:24.460
to that Socks podcast. At least those two pretty

01:00:24.460 --> 01:00:28.480
boys know how to correctly read my rider. So,

01:00:28.480 --> 01:00:31.440
that's it. We're done. Thank you, everybody.

01:00:31.539 --> 01:00:33.239
That's me dropping my phone. Thank you, everybody,

01:00:33.239 --> 01:00:35.639
for listening to another episode of the Untitled

01:00:35.639 --> 01:00:38.519
Sci -Fi Show. You can find us on absolutely fucking

01:00:38.519 --> 01:00:42.239
everything. Just go to www .channel84 .co .uk.

01:00:42.400 --> 01:00:44.780
You'll find all of our social media stuff for

01:00:44.780 --> 01:00:48.860
not only the sci -fi show, but also the variety

01:00:48.860 --> 01:00:53.320
show, which is kind of like the main meat of

01:00:53.320 --> 01:00:56.179
us two, really. That's where you'll find everything.

01:00:56.280 --> 01:00:58.820
And you'll also find the other Studio Channel

01:00:58.820 --> 01:01:02.179
84 network shows. Namely, I'm going to do it

01:01:02.179 --> 01:01:04.840
the other way around this time. who takes the

01:01:04.840 --> 01:01:09.360
socks off with simon and ross and and lightly

01:01:09.360 --> 01:01:11.980
used with karen that really fucked me up by saying

01:01:11.980 --> 01:01:14.679
it the wrong way around it really did that did

01:01:14.679 --> 01:01:19.300
break me um you can email us at podcasts at channel

01:01:19.300 --> 01:01:23.460
84 .co .uk or You can email me directly at robertchannel84

01:01:23.460 --> 01:01:28.440
.co .uk or tj at channel84 .co .uk. Send your

01:01:28.440 --> 01:01:31.300
answers to Guess the Intro to anywhere where

01:01:31.300 --> 01:01:36.599
you know that TJ or I hang out. Probably a direct

01:01:36.599 --> 01:01:40.460
message on Blue Sky or Twitter is probably the

01:01:40.460 --> 01:01:44.900
easiest one, but emails work fine. That's it,

01:01:44.920 --> 01:01:49.280
really. We'll see you... next week for the variety

01:01:49.280 --> 01:01:52.840
show and then in two weeks for the next sci -fi

01:01:52.840 --> 01:01:56.489
show where we talk about space pools Spaceballs.

01:01:56.530 --> 01:02:00.230
I am looking forward to that. By the way, if

01:02:00.230 --> 01:02:02.570
you want the direct access to all the social

01:02:02.570 --> 01:02:04.989
media links for the Untitled Sci -Fi show, you

01:02:04.989 --> 01:02:07.250
can actually go to channel84 .co .uk forward

01:02:07.250 --> 01:02:09.969
slash Untitled Sci -Fi, and that takes you to

01:02:09.969 --> 01:02:12.409
all our episodes, and it also gives you all our

01:02:12.409 --> 01:02:15.010
social media links in one place. Oh, and subscribe

01:02:15.010 --> 01:02:17.449
to our Ko -Fi if you want to know what the joke

01:02:17.449 --> 01:02:20.150
was that TJ said and what my real opinion is

01:02:20.150 --> 01:02:22.230
of why the Predator guy looks like the Predator

01:02:22.230 --> 01:02:23.789
guy. Love you, everyone. Bye -bye. It wasn't

01:02:23.789 --> 01:02:31.170
racist. Thank you for listening to the Untitled

01:02:31.170 --> 01:02:35.510
Sci -Fi Show. This station is now shutting down

01:02:35.510 --> 01:02:53.679
and will be back in two weeks. May the Force

01:02:53.679 --> 01:03:06.099
live long and prosper inside of you. This was

01:03:06.099 --> 01:03:10.000
a Studio Channel 84 network show. To find more,

01:03:10.159 --> 01:03:21.800
head over to channel84 .co .uk now. Hobbies again.

01:03:22.199 --> 01:03:27.420
Yeah? How many? 16. Okay, cool. And what about

01:03:27.420 --> 01:03:31.239
the jelly beans? Green. Only green. Don't you

01:03:31.239 --> 01:03:34.300
get any fucking red in there? You know how I

01:03:34.300 --> 01:03:38.320
feel about the colour red. No problem. Just green.

01:03:39.340 --> 01:03:44.000
Is that all? Don't forget the massage. How could

01:03:44.000 --> 01:03:47.869
I forget? I want Simon this time. His hands are

01:03:47.869 --> 01:03:50.829
softer than yours. Yours are like getting a rub

01:03:50.829 --> 01:03:55.690
down from a Makita electric sander. Yeah, Simon

01:03:55.690 --> 01:03:59.409
it is. Good. Recording's at nine. I'll send the

01:03:59.409 --> 01:04:05.130
car. I'll be there for ten. Prick.