I am Andrew Ryan, and I'm here to ask you a question.
Is a man not entitled to the sweat of his brow?
I know what you're thinking, and it's crazy.
So, stay here. Shepard, you're dead. I got better.
The right man in the wrong place can make all
the difference in the world. He's fucked in the
head. The world's fucked in the head. And you're
fucked in the head because my fucked up head
is inside it. We will send unto them only you.
Rip and tear. Hello and welcome to Sci -Fi United.
Oh yes, it's Sci -Fi United, isn't it? It's Sci
-Fi United now. Yeah. I quite like the name.
I didn't mind it, to be fair. That's why Ethan
was really shocked that I didn't fight it. I
was like, nah, it's actually quite funny. And
I didn't mind it. I wasn't offended by it. And
could you imagine the sponsorship possibilities?
We could have Football Kit made. Sci -Fi United.
Oh, I love it. Yeah, we can talk more about that
on the Variety Show. Yeah, maybe we'll insert
the clip that... paul did for the episode into
this because yeah we are on the cheap show podcast
on whatever episode number it is it's called
cheap show tv part one and we're also on part
two yeah um spoilers and it's live now so we
don't get killed off i'll be i'll get rid of
that yeah well done um either way go and listen
it was very funny we had a lot of fun doing it
and yeah yeah anyway this is the untitled sci
-fi show Welcome. So, first things first. Whenever
I say things, I was like, first things first,
I'm the realist. I don't remember what song that
is. It's some kind of rappy thing. Where's Simon?
He'll probably know just from that little lyric.
Is it Garage? On this instance, I don't know.
We haven't done that joke for a long time, by
the way. Oh, damn it. I spilt my coffee. I wasn't
expecting you dickheads to need me this early.
It's Iggy Azalea, you uncultured swine. Stop,
stop, stop. Copyright, you bloody idiot. Jesus.
No professionalism. So, the, guess the intro.
It is. Do you remember anything about it? I went
back and I made sure I found my text. I sent
you with all my answers. Yes, because spoilers,
everyone. He got them all right. Yes, I did.
And no one else did. So I did have people actually
wrote in this time. People actually listened
to me last time when I complained. I was going
to say, I do think as much as we enjoyed Electric
State, I think it got such a bad rap. And I think
so many people are disliking of Chris Pratt now.
I think a lot of people avoided it, which is
a shame because I really enjoyed it. I thought
it was great. I think it was really good, but
I do think that would explain why maybe that
episode, although weirdly then, the episode with
the least amount of views at this point has had
the most answers for the guest of the intro.
Yeah, probably. Well, I had three. people other
than you have voiced an opinion on what the answers
are so because that's um spoilers for everyone
a third of the people that listen to the episode
is the worst performing episode of any of the
of any of our shows ever that is the worst performing
one all i can think is people have honestly just
gone and said right we heard the electric states
crap so we're not going to watch it which i think
is really unfair because i thought it was really
good It'll be a forever blip on the slowly, steadily
increasing bar chart. It's a very sudden cliffhanger
drop. Well, I'm going to put that down to it's
the Easter holidays. Well, let's hope so. Do
you mind pressing pause for a moment? It would
if I could remember where pause was. Really?
We are only three minutes into this shit and
I'm here for a second time? Right, okay, pause.
Oh, yes, I'm making you wait. If I have to suffer
through the silence, so do you. OK, that's enough.
Let's play. I said thank you after he paused.
Thank you. That's very well. You're very welcome.
We've got new mics. We're fiddling with stuff.
I famously talk very quietly. Just my voice in
general is just... I must just be quiet. Yeah,
you have got a gentle voice compared to my horrendous
noisy one, so... Yeah. He's having the moment
over there. I was trying not to burp down the
mic because I've got a feeling that as bad as
the burp sounded on the old mics, I've got a
feeling it might sound even worse on these to
you. In high def. Like the... And one last thing
about the chip show thing was I noticed when
we were, he's like, who are the quietest two
people? Me and Sean went and sat in the quiet
seats. And then he was like, oh, everyone had
to count to 20. Did a little bit of fiddling
in everyone's dolls. My one ramped the gain right
up, which must have driven him mad because I
was sat directly next to Eli, who is actually
quite loud. Yes. There must have been so much
bleed from him onto my mic. I don't know. I don't
know. I haven't listened to it. Don't forget,
Paul is a professional. But he knows what he's
doing. Unlike me, who has been trying to learn
this system, it would probably benefit me not
to have just gone and got us something super
complicated. We could have just gone with it.
But there you go. No, but this thing is crazy
sexy. Anyway, right. So let me get this started.
So guess the intro. Guess the intro. Number seven
it was. Was it now? The quickest way to end a
miracle. to ask it why it is or what it wants.
Anal. Oh, sorry, what it wants. Batteries not
included. What it wants is batteries not included.
Great, great film. And I can imagine it makes
a fair few people emotional. Especially when
he saves the little one. Yeah, it's one of those
few films that is quite sad. Bicentennial Man
is a sci -fi film that I cry to every single
time. Yeah. Funny enough, Gem likes Bicentennial
Man. I'd never seen it. She's a really big fan
of Robin Williams anyway. And I hadn't ever seen
it until fairly recently. And I thought it was
a very moving, very clever film. Yeah, it's quite
long. It's nearly three hours. It is a long old
film. And they always put it on super late. Of
course. Which is really frustrating. Because
as soon as Miranda and I see it, we'll watch
it. And then that's one o 'clock in the morning
and get to bed. I don't know why they put it
on so late. It's because they're arseholes. Yeah.
Anyway, next. So that was a nice simple one.
That is Alien 3 and that's good old Sigourney
Weaver. She's got such a very defined voice.
I don't think anyone would have had trouble with
that one. If you're listening to a sci -fi podcast,
you know what happens in Alien 3. 100%. Now,
that one's a little bit harder. That was Pitch
Black. Now, I've got a lot of love for Pitch
Black. I absolutely adore Pitch Black. It's a
great film. It's a really good film, and it's
actually probably one of Vin Diesel's better
films. And let's face it, he's done some crap
ones. The Pacifier, to start with, the Disney
film. All of those car films? Not all. I like
the very first film. From Tokyo Drift onwards.
So Tokyo Drift is the last good one. Yeah, one,
two and three are my favourites. I wouldn't touch
anything else. Everything afterwards has just
been abject failure. Although I would say I've
got a little bit of cheesy love for Hobbs and
Shaw. I haven't seen that one. That one I was
excited to actually watch and I haven't seen
it. You should. It's a piss take. It's just lots
and lots of action. It's Statham and The Rock
being what they are. Oh, I think Idris Elba's
in it as well, actually, yeah. It's a good cast,
it's a good action film, a lot of fun. It's well
worth watching, but as for the other Fast and
the Furious films, yeah, one, two, three, then
just stop watching. I think... That one was a
little easy because... I purposely made it easy,
yeah. It had to be a little easy, but the fact
that it says Galactica at the very beginning,
so Battlestar Galactica, original series. Well,
it's for the fact that the week before, no one
entered. So I was like, I've got to make it so
actually somebody can actually guess them all.
Fair enough. Who's gravitational pull? What do
we do? We die. Funnily enough, this was one that
took me a little bit long because I don't think
I've really watched this more than maybe twice
in my life, and it's The Last Starfighter. I
actually have never seen it. Oh, it's... So I
have no idea if that's a good quote from it.
No, you know what? I don't think I could tell
you if that was a good quote from it or not.
All I can tell you is it is a quote from it.
Yeah, it's one of those films. It's good fun,
but I never seem to want to seek it out, unlike
some other, like, 80s films. Things like... Fly
to the Navigator. I would seek that one out non
-stop because it's bloody brilliant. I got given
that as a gift. Did you give it to me on DVD?
Not me. Someone gave it to me on DVD as a gift
fairly recently. That was a good choice of film.
It's bloody brilliant. You are a user. And everything
you've done has been according to a plan, right?
You wish. You are a user. Tron. That's what I
was hoping people would spot that bit. Other
than the actors, obviously. So Tron, again, top,
top film. Weirdly, do you know, the first time
I ever watched Tron was thanks to Rammish. What,
did you go round his house? No, it was when he
used to rent out videos. Oh, you rented it from
him. I went in there and I said, Rammish, I really
like sci -fi films. What films do you recommend?
This was Rammisch, bless him. He wasn't going
to be able to tell me a good sci -fi film. He
might have been a superstar sci -fi fan for a
while. But he said, oh, this one's really popular
and just gave me Tron. Took it home, blown away
by it. And what always makes me laugh is just
on the right here on my shelves, I've got a Tomy
-tronic somewhere, the red shield -looking device
that you hold up to your eyes. Here it is, a
Tomy -tronic 3D. And I swear that either one
or the other was based off it because the ships
in that look like the ships that they bring in
that start hunting them down. The weird leg things.
Yeah, the weird leg things. They're like kind
of giant upside down U's. Yeah. And that's exactly
what that Tomy -tronic game is. You're playing
a tank, blowing them out the sky. Oh, cool. So
well done. Shout out to... My co -host here,
Tom. Well done, Tom. You can find him on the
Variety Show podcast. Everywhere that you look,
I'm there. So I've got some fun ones coming up.
So I went and sat down yesterday and planned
out the next few. So the next one is all computer
games. Okay. They're all going to be computer
games. I'm hoping I can get quotes for them.
If not, it'll be an iconic sound effect that
you will clearly know from the game. Because
the games I've chosen... If you're into even
remotely gaming, you will know every single one.
Nice. Oh, I'm looking forward to that. And then
after that, it's all 80s. So only 80s sci -fi
is the one after that. And then the two after
that are 90s. Then it'll be two lots of 90s sci
-fi. There you go. But anyway, next time it is...
Well, you would have heard at the start of this
one. The start of this episode. They were all
games. I haven't made it yet. Thanks a lot, you
shit - So what you been doing, watching, saying,
slaying? Slaying! Yeah mate, innit bruv, I was
like proper slay the other night, innit? I was
more being California girl. Oh. Then young. Now
I've got the tits for it, but just leave it alone,
will you? It's just not nice. You've got the
hair for it. You've got beautiful light -coloured
hair. It used to be ginger. Now it's just grey
and strawberry blonde. Your beard's still ginger.
Yeah, go on, rub it in a bit more. You're luscious.
You can't win, you dick. Anyway. Your balls.
What colour are your balls? Wouldn't you like
to know? That's what I'm asking. They call it
the Duracell. Gross. Yep. Right. I have, gaming
-wise, not done much. Because it's full of disease
and has lots of children. Oh. The whispering's
working. Right. Gaming. Literally, after we chatted
about it a few weeks ago, I said I wanted to
play Katamari because I never got around to playing.
Katamari Demancy. Yep. Literally, the week after
I think we said that, I checked App Store, checked
good old Apple Arcade. And it just flagged up
Katamara Dimassery, whatever it's called, released
next week. Nice. So it's a mobile version for
Apple Arcade users, along with Rollercoaster
Tycoon Classic. On the phone? On the phone. Well,
that must be awkward. I haven't downloaded it.
I was wondering, I might do it for, because Apple
Arcade spans to the MacBook. Oh, then that'll
be okay then. That might be quite cool on the
MacBook, but it will still just be a touch version
that you've got mouse controls for. But I'll
have a play with that. So those are the games
I've been playing. I haven't played anything
on the Xbox. You know what? I haven't played
on my Legion Go for about three weeks. But there's
a lot going on here. So that's neither here nor
there. Sci -fi -wise, and I guess that's what
most people want to hear, Doctor Who, but not
the new stuff. And Biffo was somewhat putting
me off wanting to watch the new stuff. But this
all ties in with what I said last week, where
if something captures you, you either binge watch
it or you go, oh, right, new episode out. I must,
must, must go and watch it. And the last season
of Doctor Who, as much as I enjoyed a lot of
the episodes, I felt absolutely no inclination
as soon as I'd missed one to go back and catch
up on it. So I missed the two last episodes.
In fact, the last episode I watched was the evil
fairy thing that was chasing after what's -her
-face that ends up in the football stadium and
was just a massive anti -climax. We actually
spoke about it, didn't we? We did. That was my
last episode of Doctor Who modern that I've watched.
Now, I've gone back onto Y Player and they've
got all the Doctor Who. They've got classic Who
on there. They've got the... new, modern, not
new Doctor Who. So I've just started with David
Tennant again as I've watched the Christopher
Eccleston ones fairly recently. Still love him
to bits. And I fancied a better Tennant. Who
wouldn't? I bet he's hungry. Well, that's what
she called him. That's actually true that she
called him that. Her nickname for him was Tennant.
All righty then. So now I'm just making my way
through the Tennant era until I get to Matt Smith
and I'll go through the Matt Smith era. Don't
think I'll bother with anything afterwards because
honestly, wasn't blown away with any of it. I
mean, we've spoken about the Jodie Whittaker
era before. Poor stories, poorly written. Felt
more like it was trying to give you an education
or a lesson in something than actually just them
being fun. Oh God, who was Peter Capaldi? Didn't
mind it until they made him blind. And I just
thought, no, this is just bloody stupid. He's
blind with sonic sunglasses on. No, there's a
limit and you've crossed it now. So as much as
I liked Capaldi as the Doctor, it didn't gel
with me. Great actor. Don't think it was the
right choice in the end. He would have been a
better Doctor if it was Torchwood. If it was
Torchwood, yes, or if he was playing the Master.
Yeah. He would have been a better bad guy. No,
you're right, a better bad guy. Or if it was
all rated 12. Do you know what I mean? He would
have been a better grown -up Doctor rather than...
Because Doctor Who is a kid's show. This is what
we were discussing, though, and I kind of feel
that... Doctor Who was the family show. That's
what I mean. You could watch it as a family.
You had the Sarah Jane Adventures, which was
the kid version. Then you had the Torchwood,
which was the after dark. And it shouldn't change.
And then the more that I'm seeing of this new
Doctor Who, it doesn't know what it wants to
be. One minute it wants to be all funny and kids.
Next minute it's quite dark. It doesn't know
where it wants to be. And I think what was a
really interesting comment, which... I know was
made in a complete homophobic and hate -filled
way, but without using it in that way, I do kind
of get their point. The Doctor we've grown up
with, even the classic Doctor, was a man you
did not want to fuck off. Because if you upset
him... the whole of time was brought down against
you. And you could take that back to John Pertwee,
Tom Baker, all of that era of doctors. Tennant,
Eccleston, Matt Smith. Matt Smith, I thought,
no, this isn't going to be a good doctor. Then
I saw him be as if, oh my God, someone just hurt
Karen Gillan. And wow. Yeah, Matt Smith was great
at that. Just full stop. And I didn't realise
how good an actor he was until I saw that. And
now I've seen him in other things. It's like,
holy shit, you're a good doctor. You should watch
him in Game of Thrones. He is such a good dickhead.
Yeah. And again, Capaldi, really good. Jodie
Whittaker, I didn't get that from. And then this
new doctor and this comment I was saying is basically...
I don't think I like the fact that the Doctor
almost cries in every fucking episode. I don't
think I've seen the Doctor be that powerhouse
that we've had with every other Doctor. I don't
get the point. I don't feel like this new Doctor
has the ability to just drop the hammer and go,
oh no, you've gone too far now. Now you're going
to see the side that the Time War saw. which
is what you've got with every other Doctor. And
I know they're trying to recreate. I know they're
trying to make something new. And without doing
it in the stereotypical hatred -wise that everyone
else is doing, he just doesn't feel like the
Doctor to me still. There's just something not
about... He's fun. I love the character. I love
the glam. I love the out there of him. But to
me, he still doesn't just quite feel like the
Doctor because he doesn't have that same energy.
It's nothing to do with... gender stereotypes,
sex stereotypes, all of that. He doesn't seem
to have the Doctor energy. Yeah. I really liked
the very little glimpse we got of the War Doctor.
Yes, John Hurt. John Hurt. That would have been
a great one if they could explore. I mean, that's
a massive actor, so probably couldn't get into
it. They all are now, but to get John Hurt to
come in onto this random... pbc show but actually
well don't forget he's dead so wasn't he the
voice of the dragon actually in merlin he's yeah
but he wasn't dead at the time no no but he's
done all sorts of things for them to bring him
in as the war doctor again was a brilliant brilliant
choice um but i know i stand by my comments every
doctor has had a dark side that they've brought
to the screen in their own way up until the Whittaker.
Capaldi did to an extent, but his was more, he
seemed, he didn't play it in kind of a snap.
It wasn't like the ten and the smiths of the
world. It was all happy and airy and then boom,
just with a snap of their fingers. It's a complete
change of character. Capaldi was on one level
and it was like, I'm putting up with you. I'm
going to kill you sort of thing. It was just
kind of. one level for him and it just slightly
moved to the left or the right of that level
whereas the others had a clear -cut personality
change i think i don't care if i upset anyone
with this really i've liked all of them i think
the only problem like jodie whittaker's ones
it's not it's not because she was a woman i actually
was quite happy for that i what i saw of her
acting in doctor who i liked i thought she was
good and i was looking really looking forward
to seeing where she'd go with it the writing
was fucking dreadful i'm sorry but i don't need
a social lesson on every single fucking episode
and it wasn't the thing is it wasn't subtle you
can do it wonderfully and subtly like they had
already been doing through all the doctor who's
already All through Tenon and even Torchwood,
all the lessons were already there and it all
worked and it was still remembering what it was
ahead of time. First and foremost, it was a fun
family sci -fi show. They lost that. They completely
lost. And I feel sorry that she was the person
they were using as the figurehead of that shit
writing. That basically, that's what I think
it is. I think it was just shit. No, 100 % agree.
She got used as a pawn in a game that she really
deserved better. I'd love to see her come back
and just not have that. No, and I think a female
doctor was absolutely the right way to go because
it gave a completely new dynamic to something
that was feeling overly familiar already. I know
we'd been going since, what was it, 2005? I'm
not sure. It was somewhere around there, maybe
a little bit earlier actually than that. Maybe
it was about 2001, 2002, the new Doctor Who.
Yeah. So we've only had 23 years of it, and there's
been a big gap in that again, remember? But they'd
already got to the point that's like, no, this
is just the same stuff over and over again, isn't
it? So they could have had that. I know that.
And that's what they're trying to do now with
this, with Nkuti. I can't think of his whole
name, I'm afraid. I don't know how to pronounce
it. It's Nshuti, I think it is. And that's my
fault for not knowing. But they're trying to
do the fresh start now. And I think it's a little
bit late. And I think the biggest thing, the
biggest nail in the coffin, I know we've been
talking about this for too long, so I'll keep
this short. The biggest nail in the coffin was
reintroducing David Tennant in that first episode
of the Christmas episode they did. And then letting
David Tennant have his own episode because the
whole world basically just saw the doctor that
a lot of people fell in love with and went, you
brought him back. Can we not just have more of
him now? Maybe I'll end up bleeping this out
because now you've got your two doctors. You've
got the agenda doctor and you've got the fun
that you want to actually watch. Who do you want
to pick? Are you going to school or are you going
to go and have fun? Yeah, and I mean, I don't
feel like they are doing what they did to Whittaker.
You're right. No, I don't think they are doing
to him what they did to her. And I think they
did really well. But things like the Christmas
episode with the Goblin King, that was such fun.
And again, even though it was the poor ending,
when they break the fairy ring in that episode,
it's a great dark episode. It's actually really
good. It's just a disappointing climax, which
unfortunately has been going on for a long time
now. And I don't see it going away. I guess I
haven't actually said it yet. I enjoyed all of
his episodes. That's the first season that he's
done. I enjoyed them. I ended it thinking, this
is great. I'm looking forward to season two.
So I never had that with Jodie Whittaker, unfortunately.
No, but my point is, have you watched any of
the new season yet? No. Need I say more? I didn't
actually even know it was out until it was out.
Exactly. So part of me thinks, has the BBC just
started counting their losses so it's not been
advertised as much? And the other part of me
just thinks, well, I didn't know it came out
because I've got no interest in it anymore. Now,
if that had been Tenant, and it's like a new
series of Tenant, like that TikTok April Fools
that I sent you. Yeah, which was gutting. How
excited did everyone get? New series of Torchwood,
fucking finally. New series of Doctor Who with
Tenant back in there. Brilliant. Oh, by the way,
it's April Fools. Fuck you. Yeah. Slightly foreshadowing
what we might be doing on the next episode. Yeah,
but you know what? It might be really, really
good. Well, we'll find out, won't we? Be well.
Be fucked. So what have I been doing? Yeah, what
have you been doing? I've got quite a lot, actually.
Finishing everything, which is a bit disappointing.
So we finished Reacher. Wicked. Can't talk about
it because you haven't finished it yet. I still
haven't finished season one, which I'm really
pissed off about because that's not down to just
it being, it's okay. I'm loving it. I just haven't
had a chance and so much has come in and we always
have our dedicated thing we've got to watch for
this. So that then takes precedence and then
it's just like, well, I've got no more time.
So I'm still not quite through season one. I
think I've only got an episode left. You're watching
it with Gem? No, no, no, on my own. That's the
worst case. So yeah, we finished Reacher. really
really really good brilliant i can't wait for
you to have watched them all and caught up yeah
sexy uh wheel of time we just finished wheel
of time season three yeah whatever the most recent
one is really good i after me slagging it off
saying it was just teenage girl bullshit nonsense
actually it was really good i think the lowest
point of all of it is season two and the reason
i think there's a trend you you tell me what
you think season ones of shows they've got to
go hard yeah because they want to bag those other
seasons and they don't just give you one extra
season they give you a few they go okay so you've
done one give us two more give us you will now
sign you up to go to season four stretch this
out season four so they use the second season
to build plot build this ongoing story which
they can then roll on for more seasons. And normally
that can be a good thing. In my opinion, in Wheel
of Time, it was a bad thing. Right. And I found
it quite boring until right at the end. And then
with season three, it was pretty good all the
way through. Brilliant in the last two or three
episodes. Like, really, really good in the last
few episodes. I was like, can we watch Wheel
of Time? Can we watch Wheel of Time? So, yeah.
Season two, a little bit of a low point. because
it came off a really good ending to season one.
And then, yeah, season three definitely saved
it for me. Right. Well, that makes sense. That's
Wheel of Time. Daredevil. Wow. Oh, my gosh. Daredevil.
So this is the now Disney have it. And it's a
soft reboot, but not a reboot. So have you seen
any of the Daredevils? No. I genuinely think
you could go into this and not needing to have
actually seen them. All you need to know are
the kind of, what's the words I'm looking for,
how the characters connect. Not so much what's
happened before, but more just how they all connect
together. Who Foggy Nelson is his partner in
his being a lawyer, law firm. That's about as
much as you need to know about Foggy. Okay. And
then there's another girl that works with him
or used to work with him. There's a few little
things. Frank Castle. You just need to know he's
the Punisher. That's all you need to know. Even
though he's had two seasons of his own show.
None of that. It's almost to a point where actually
you might be better off if you haven't watched
any of his. Because I'm sure the way that...
They're really good, by the way. The Punisher
series. The way that... Do you want me to pause
it? Hang on a moment. Seriously, this is just
getting out of hand. Fuck! What now? Oh. Uh -huh.
Okay, yes, understood. Okay, sorry about that.
That was the chipmunk. Apparently there are things
happening with children in the Tom household.
I do apologize. Everything is fine. I've been
told to shut the fuck up and just get on with
it. So, um... Well, yes. I don't want to upset
that fuzzy ball of... fun. Right, sorry about
that. Slight interlude. Where was I? Frank Castle.
Yeah, so he's the Punisher. He's had his couple
of seasons. Yeah, but just the way all the things
are really big character building moments really
define his character in such a way in those two
seasons. I'm trying to remember how it ended,
but I kind of feel like he ended almost kind
of like a bit more mellow. Well, he's straight
into this as a fucking hard man. And they've
also, what they've done, surprising for Disney,
up the blood factor. Wow, people are getting
their throats slashed, heads crushed. You know,
I don't think Disney actually have that bad an
issue with that. They're not like, let's say,
Nintendo through the 80s and 90s, where, ooh,
you want a game with blood? No, it's got to be
green. Whereas I think that Disney are more like
the Mega Drive side of things. We don't mind
blood, but it has to be required. And I think,
yeah, when it comes to Disney films, and because
they've got things like... oh i've gone what
their adult selection films are called on disney
now star star that's it yeah um and the humor
that they're putting on their things like family
guy i don't think they're actually that fussy
about it anymore i don't think they could have
taken on daredevil and then fitted it into their
marvel universe in the way that they've kiddified
them their marvel universe you know it maybe
it's getting a little bit more ground. I mean,
I'm so out of touch with it. How the fucking
hell do I know? What do I know? You know, I'm
still thinking about Iron Man one, you know,
it's, you know, I know that the daredevil was
in one of the recent Spider -Man films in like
an end credit scene. I didn't realise he's Spider
-Man's lawyer. Yeah. Yeah. But it's so, what
I was saying about daredevil is I think you probably
could get away with not really needing to have
watched the others and that it feels like, almost
like an origin story again yeah but not still
just an origin story of 10 years later or five
years later or whatever from when all the netflix
ones is and that's not necessarily a bad thing
but the really fucking cool stuff doesn't happen
until the last two episodes right okay that makes
sense there is some fighting in it but not every
episode there's some episodes where no one fights
And this is a superhero series, you know, with
Daredevil, who in the other seasons was fighting
all the fucking time. But when there's fighting,
holy shit, it's brilliant. And when Frank Castle's
in it, in the, like, spoilers, when he's fighting
in the last episode, wow. Just like, I cannot
wait for the next season. You see, I'm kind of
getting the idea now. Disney... are doing a better
job on the TV series that they're producing for
Marvel than they are the films. Because, sorry
to interrupt you, they're giving it room to breathe.
Yes. They're developing characters. They're doing
stuff. They're feeling like they're actually
able to do exposition without thinking we're
boring the audience. So whereas, let's say, you're
going to do an Iron Man film, you know you've
got to keep it below two hours. As much as a
lot of modern films are pushing for that two
hour or two hour plus mark now, they know that...
and this sounds really bad, but the general Marvel
audience are not going to put up with a film
much past one and a half hours. So they've got
to fit in story, action, Iron Man being Iron
Man within that time period. Whereas if they
move to a TV series... Even if they only do six
episodes, those episodes are going to be, what,
45 -minute long episodes? They can fit in a lot
of exposition, which doesn't mean they have to
just fill it full of fighting, fighting, fighting,
which I think is a big benefit to a TV show.
Not everyone wants just to see the shit being
beaten out of people. Yes, it's nice to see sometimes,
but sometimes it's actually nice to actually
feel like you aren't just following a creation.
You aren't just following a character. You're
actually... feeling like they're not part of
your family, but within your friendship group.
It's like, I want to know more about this character.
And that's what Reacher's done so well. Every
episode of Reacher I've seen, especially in the
first season, you want to go know more about
the female police. You want to know more about
the New York copper. You want to know more about
Reacher himself. And it just breeds a want to
carry on watching it. And I think they're doing
the right thing. Just so we can move ourselves
along. And Last of Us is now at season two of
The Last of Us. Yep. So I've watched episode
one of that. Fair enough. Fucking brilliant.
So then I played loads of games. It made me then
want to actually play The Last of Us 2, which
I've owned for ages. And I only played it for
like 10 minutes. So now I've started playing
it again. I think I spent £10 and upgraded my
PS4 version to the enhanced PS5 one. I thought
it was worth it for 10 quid. Excuse me. So yeah,
I've now got as far as the first episode is in
the game. Whereas I'd played the first one when
I watched season one. So I knew exactly what
was going to happen and what they changed. But
it was so brilliant. I might have spoke to you
about it on the variety show. Yeah, we have done.
Absolutely brilliant. I've played, finally played
that self of Midnight Game. If anyone remembers,
the few people that listened last week, I was
really excited to play that. Yes, you were. Ah,
what a shame. Graphically, love it. Love the
art style. I actually quite enjoyed the story.
I loved the location, the kind of weird... It's
like sitting in the bayou in America and all
the accents are great, the voice actors are great.
So many good things about it. The exploration
is a little bit janky. Like jumps, I feel like
I'm... about to just run off the other end because
like the character will kind of stumble a bit
or want to keep the inertia of your movement
will send you to the edge. So I've died a lot
or got hurt in water because she can't swim.
So as soon as you touch water, you die. Oh, I
hate that. And it's like, come on, you know,
give me at least like a little quick stamina
meter or a reason. Give me a reason why she can't
swim. So that was a bit annoying. I mean, what's
the premise of the game? So. You're this girl.
You're about to go off to college. There's a
storm. You're with your mum in your kind of mobile
home thing. Huge, huge storm. You're packing
up all your stuff because you're going to go
to the church and ride out the storm. Yeah. You
have an argument with your mum and you go and
check on some of the neighbours. And in the meantime,
the storm hits and takes the home away and it
goes down the river. And you're running. to try
and catch up with the mob home floating down
the river but it turns out that you've got you're
like a descendant because it's a game obviously
so they've got to add some bullshit you're a
descendant of this kind of weird people called
weavers or something and you can control the
tapestries of time and stuff but it also means
you commune with these um i guess they're like
some real kind of lore in real world kind of
gods or whatever, like there's a big giant talking
cackfish and all these kind of things. Oh, okay.
It's all very cool. So the reason I ask is because
quite often when you talk about games like this,
and the games that we tend to play tend to be
somewhat mystery or sci -fi or fantasy. Now,
I know it sounds like a cheap way to get out,
but you just say as soon as you touch water,
there's... bad things under the water that drag
you under. Even that would be better than just
saying you can't swim so you're dead. I don't
think it ever at any point said why you can't
swim, you just die. Well, you take a chunk of
your health off and it puts you back to where
you fell off is actually what it does. That annoys
me. That's lazy programming in my book. The reason
I'm not going to continue playing it is because
I don't like the combat. Right. It's not very
good. And it's not that I'm bad at it. I am bad.
But... It doesn't feel nice. It's not smooth.
I don't like the moves. Yeah, all the enemies.
Like, the way the combat works is it's arenas.
So you're going, doing exploring, and then you
can quite clearly see you're about to walk into
a section where you're going to fight because
there's loads of weird vines with spikes on.
What's that called? You know, barbed, really
thick vines with spikes on. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
I know what you mean. And there'll be a thing
in the middle that you have to clear. But you
can only clear it when you kill the enemies.
So you know as soon as you step in, the door's
going to close behind you. You've got to fight
anywhere between three and ten enemies. And then
release the spirit and off you go to the next
one. I just didn't enjoy it. I've given up with
it. I'm not going to go back to playing it. I'm
glad it's on Game Pass. I've got to try it. No,
fair enough. Game Pass is one of those benefits,
isn't it? It doesn't cost the world, but it gives
you a chance to actually play a lot of games
that you wouldn't necessarily buy because of
the game prices at the moment. Yeah, I find it
a big bonus because, for example, I want to play
the new Sniper Elite. I know that's on Game Pass.
I don't care if it disappears off it. Yes, I'd
like to complete it if I get a chance to, but
even if I just get a chance to play through four
or five levels, I probably will have run out
of time by that point and not get back to the
point of completing it in the first place. So
I don't care if it disappears. Two more last
things because I'm rabbiting on. The next game
I'm waiting to try, which is on Game Pass as
well, is called Claire Obscure Exhibition 33.
I've spoken about this before. That comes out,
I think, on the 25th. So next time we record
this show, I would have played it. So I can tell
you a thing about that then. Like I really need
another ginormous role -playing game to play
when I haven't finished Final Fantasy yet. And
then I've played... I've not been very well this
week. I was off work for three days. And I did
nothing but play Minecraft for three days. And
not on the Xbox. It sucked you back in. So cloud
play on my Steam Deck to the Xbox. Because I,
long story short, got sinusitis, which is giving
me vertigo. So I couldn't do anything. Literally
walking around made me feel sick when it fell
over. Anyway, no one cares. So I would have the
TV on YouTube and then cloud playing my Xbox
to it. So I could kind of do both. I did have
to say breaks because it was making my eyes go
funny. But yeah, my brother -in -law was like,
you've been playing a lot of Minecraft. I'm like,
how do you know? He's like, his app is notifying
him every time I'm logging in. And because I'm
going in and out of the cloud thing, it keeps
popping up and he's going, Rob has just started
cloud play. Rob has just started cloud plays
for three days. Yeah, anyway, that's what I've
been doing. Lots of stuff. That was nearly 15
minutes. Okay, very quickly. You've got... You
joined my Apple family. I know it's a bit cheeky
to do like that. Yeah, you joined my Google family.
I did. Something coming to Apple TV in May is
one of the Skarsgård brothers. So we watched
one of them in Boy Kills World. Yep. Which, that
was Bill Skarsgård, if I think it was. Who also
plays It. Who also plays It, yes. Well, this
is Alex Skarsgård in a TV series called Murderbot.
Oh, I like the sound of that. It's based on a
book series and basically it's a... I believe
they're security cyborgs that are made up of
kind of genetic parts. I don't know if they've
been grown or they're meant to be just kind of
people that have done that base a little bit
like Robocop. But the whole point of it is he
plays this cyborg thing and he's just corrupted
his own programming and he's just like called
himself Murderbot. Oh, I like it. And he still
protects the humans from what you can see in
the trailer. But is also like, I'm on this planet.
I'm meant to be protecting them. So far, I've
watched 500 hours of whatever their equivalent
of Comedy Central in the future was meant to
be. They're like, oh, wait, no, I better go and
deal with that. And then off we go. It just looks
really fun. I think the only slightly disappointing
thing is he takes off the helmet and it's got
a human face underneath it. But I then read a
lot of comments which says that is actually what
they would design. And in the book, it says they
have human anatomy because they've had human
parts grown for them or something along those
lines. It looks a lot of fun. So come May, we've
got to watch that. It reminds me, I've watched
eight episodes of Severance. Severance, and do
you get what I said about that? You don't know
what it is. It's just like the first episode,
it's like, am I going to enjoy this or not? It's
a bit weird. And then a day passes, and it's
like, I want to carry on watching it. Yeah, it's,
I was watching, that was one of the things I
had on while I was doing Minecraft, and they
were kind of doing something really, you know,
Minecraft isn't boring, but when you're just
digging, I'm like, I've got Severance on. So,
and I was like. oh no, I want to watch another
one. So everyone's going to be putting the deck
down and going, I'm going to focus on this bit
now because this is actually really cool. And
they're like, okay, right, now we're on, okay,
now that's it. That's such a weird idea. It's
an odd show in good ways. Yes. I'm really, I
am genuinely enjoying it. I'm like, oh, when
can I next watch Severance? Because Miranda's
got no interest in watching it. Which is fair
enough because I don't blame, because it is,
it's got comedy, it's got serious. It's a really
weird hodgepodge of everything. Yet it's beautifully
filmed and designed as well. Yeah. I just don't
know what to make. I honestly can't tell you
what makes it so good. It's just it feels clever,
but it's not clever for you to have to work out
what's going on. So it feels like the show is
really clever, but you don't need to be clever
to watch it. Well, it's weird because sometimes
it tells you what's happening and other times
it lets you just guess what's happening. Yeah.
It kind of does both. In cinematography -wise,
there's some great shots in it, you know, the
corridors and some other bits. Oh, the hanging
scene's horrible. Yeah, the hanging scene's pretty
rough, yeah. And how she purposely does it in
lift so that when she comes up and goes into
her other self, it's like, I've done this to
you. You know that I've done it to you. Yeah.
She even says that, doesn't she? I wanted her
to know it was me. But isn't it such a dark idea
that you never know what you do at work? And
when you're at work, you have no idea about your
outside life. You don't know if you're married.
You don't know if... And you just don't know
when. It's really, really... How far have you
got? Maybe only episode eight or nine. And again,
I just haven't had a chance to pick it up. I
don't want to say which bit... that i'm at because
i don't want you to ruin it for you vice versa
but i think the last bit i've seen someone has
died in the outside world yes and there's been
a funeral yes and she's gone hunting for something
at the funeral have you seen the bit where which
suggests she knows what's going on outside and
inside yeah so you know one of the severed guys
the slightly chubby guy yeah have you got to
the bit why he's really angry at the moment No.
Okay, right. So I'm ahead of you by an episode.
But can we also just say, isn't it nice to see
Christopher Walken being Christopher Walken?
Yeah, he's great in it, isn't he? Yeah, he's
really good. Oh, it's just a great show. Anyway,
let's move on to something else really, really
good. He's finally matched his meat. You really
licked his ass. That's met his match and kicked
his ass. That's right. It's time for Demolition
Man. Where he's not saying anything. He's getting
his notes ready. I'm reading something and I
just realised it's not actually what... Or is
this actually? Yes, it is the bit that I wanted.
So I was looking up on this and I was trying
to find something online that I wanted to kind
of just... bring to this that was going to be
a little bit different. Now, I've got a few things
that I've saved and I thought, you know what,
this is going to be fun because I'm going to
ask you questions. I know it's one of your favourite
films, a little bit of a quiz and so on. But
then I was doing a bit more research. So, I found
this webpage called Bulletproof Action. Okay.
Ten things you didn't know about Demolition Man.
Alright. Number one, the two original choices
for the leads were Steven Seagal and Jean -Claude
Van Damme. Jean -Claude Van Damme was to play
the villain. but he lobbied to play the hero
role, and Seagal didn't want to play the bad
guy either. So in the end, neither of them were
in the film. Thank God. Stallone took the role
of Spartan. He tried to get Jackie Chan to play
the villain, because I didn't realise this, Stallone
and Chan are good friends. Oh. But Chan didn't
think the Chinese audience would appreciate him
being a maniacal maniac who's out murdering people,
so that fell through. Snipes didn't want to play
the villain either. Oh. No one wanted to play
the villain in this. Apparently, the director
and producer went and visited him on the set
for Rising Sun, convinced him to take his role.
He hated his blonde hair and went so far as to
shave his head after filming had wrapped. But
Dennis Rodman, the NBA player, loved it. So it
then... That's why his hair is blonde. He adopted
the look after seeing this. Oh, horrible. Because
that guy is awful. Yeah, okay. I'm going to skip
number four. Number five, don't really care about.
Number six, lots were chosen, but Taco Bell was
chosen in the end. General Motors, yeah, fine.
Spartan's daughter, we'll talk about later. There
was a subplot involving her, but that was scrapped,
apparently. Yeah, that's an annoyance in the
film for me. Yeah, a little bit for me. In the
Q8, the Arabic title of the film was, any ideas?
Destruction boss. Rambo the Destroyer. I like
it. But we'll come back to number four here,
because this is the one, and then I've done a
bit more digging, and it does seem that this
is true. Okay. And this adds credence to your
father. Mm -hmm. Snipes improvised many of his
lines used in the film. The scene where he speaks
Spanish after he's brought out a cryosleep and
interrogated was completely ad -libbed. The filmmakers
thought it showed his utter contempt for authority.
I saw it more as actually he... Because I don't
know what he's saying. I thought he was just
repeating what the other guy said in Spanish.
But I thought it was more like it was a quick
glimpse into they had been programming him when
he was... unconscious well yeah that's potentially
what i was thinking but especially when you then
consider stallone goes down into the underworld
doesn't he later and he speaks spanish to buy
the rat burger yeah so yeah you you expect that
maybe he's learning it to go down there um but
no you're right your dad was right although there
was a script it does sound like a fair bit of
it was He ad -libbed and was just allowed to
get away with it. Because he's so natural in
it. That's the thing about it. Because I feel
like you can almost tell which bits he's having
fun with and which bits he isn't. Although 99
% of it, I think he actually is having fun. At
least that's what the impression I think you
get from it. And yeah, none of his lines, none
of his interactions, nothing feels forced. No,
you're right. Quiz time, before we talk about
the film. Because I want to see how much you
paid attention. Watch me get them all wrong.
What city is it based in originally, before he's
frozen? So before he's woken up... I wanted to
say, isn't it like San Andreas or something?
It's Los Angeles. It was Los Angeles, yeah. What's
the year before he's frozen? 1993. Oh, hang on.
I did write it down. The film came out in 93.
Yeah, the film was 93. The film is set in 1996.
Yep. How many hostages is he looking for? I think
he's looking for 20, but later on they say he
kills 30. So it's the, yeah, exactly the same.
Yep. Okay. What else? What other questions did
I have? How long is he sentenced to? He gets
70 years. 70 years, yep. He does not serve 70
years. When does he wake up then? He wakes up
on August 3rd, 2013. Nice, okay. What's the code
word that Wesley Snipes knows? Oh, shit. It's
teddy bear. Teddy bear, well done. And you know,
I'll make this the very last one. What poster...
Does Sandra Bullock's character, Huxley, have
in her office? It's the crime one. The crime
one. Shit. I can't remember the film's name.
Yeah, I can't remember the name of the film.
Lethal Weapon 3. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah,
brilliant. Absolutely. Anyway, those are just
my little questions. I thought, let's see, how
much does he really pay attention to these films?
Is he going to watch it like a hawk? It didn't
do too bad. I think it did all right, yeah. There's
so much to unpack on Demolition Man. Did you
like it? Oh, I love it. Oh, good. It's such a
cheesy action film for the time. I always think
of it as an 80s film, but no, it's a 90s film.
Yeah, it's a 90s film, yeah. It's a lot newer
than actually I give it credit for. Newer. That
I give it credit for. I always expected it to
be an 80s film, but no, it's a 90s film. So much
love put into it as well. The creation of some
of the sets, the changing of some of it, the
cars. They clearly built loads of cars. The set
in the cryo prison is incredible. They literally
have made the arms and moving parts. And there's
a fight scene later where he gets picked up by
it. Wow. Just the love and effort that's gone
into the set design through the entire film.
Quite obviously, the set design kind of almost
came first to some of it because I'm going to
pick you up on that bit. So Wesley Snipes, yep,
is there and he's bringing the arm around and
he picks up good old Spartan. Yeah. Picks him
up. How does he escape from the hook hand thing?
Oh, he puts his hand on what he wouldn't be able
to put his hand on. So he grabs a pipe, rips
it off and liquid nitrogen starts coming out.
Yeah, his hand would have frozen off. Why is
the arm being powered by liquid nitrogen? Because
it's part of the arm. Yeah, I don't know. It's
just one of those things because they don't use
liquid nitrogen to freeze them. That's the little
blue M &M, or skittle, I should say, that they
drop in and it freezes you. So what on earth?
Here's an idea. Maybe it feeds right to the tip
of the arms so that when the metal arms are touching
the ice cubes, they're not going to slowly melt
the ice. So they're blasting liquid nitrogen
out to make sure it stays cold at the point of
contact. Okay. Show off. Fair enough. Obviously,
I just made that up. I have no idea. No, but
fair enough. You know, that's vaguely sense,
but that's kind of one of the things I've thought
about. And I love just how just holding it there
for a couple of minutes is enough to make very
obviously meant to be thick, super strong metal.
Just snap. Or it's some kind of hydraulic fluid
that they're using that also has the capacity
to freeze steel. Yeah. I mean, this is in the
blisty future of 1996. No, this is 2032. You
know, but these things were built in 96. True.
True. But I think we should also just kind of
point out that this is not the sort of film you
can deep dive massively because you'll find lots
of problems. For example, when Spartan first
goes up against Simon Phoenix in the thing and
he says, I told you all to fuck off. Even the
bus drivers don't come here. Blah, blah, blah.
I'm pretty sure that C4 doesn't come in barrels.
Oh, does it say C4 in the barrels? All the barrels
behind them is marked as C4. The other problem
with C4 is you can't just set it on fire and
make it blow up. It just burns. People use it
and cut it and cook things on it when they can't
find whatever fuel they need in the battlefield.
You need to detonate it. So, as I say, it's not
one of these films that you can... pulled to
pieces and expect to have done really well because
there are things in it that just don't work unless
you just suspend your disbelief a little bit
you just have to let the film happen to you yeah
that's how you enjoy it you just let the film
go don't sit there questioning things just let
the film take control over the next hour and
a half or hour and 40 minutes however long it
was exactly you've just got to accept that the
labd in 1996 have chinook helicopters yeah also
by the way how like clearly the police chief
is old enough that he would still have known
the world before but he's completely vacant of
it but he is complete whereas they've just got
some old black dude it seems to be the only person
who knows anything who worked with spartan he
worked for spartan yeah and by the way what a
great name that they call him spartan yeah i
think that's a really cool uh so very very quickly
and yeah he's dethorred i know your wife's dead
just really bluntly your wife's dead fine kind
of understand that one just get it out of the
way your daughter no You're here to help us.
We're not going to tell you anything about her.
I have a horrible, horrible feeling that they
planned on making Huxley his daughter. Yes. Which
I'm very glad they didn't sing. There's the whole
kissing and sex thing. Interesting. That would
have been a terrible choice because then you
couldn't have had the sex scene, which, let's
face it, Sandra Bullock is yummy. I've seen this
film. so so many times for whatever reason i've
always just ignored the wife and daughter part
of it and it's only because this time i was actually
watching it thinking though i need to make notes
on a few bits and i was like oh this is actually
a really weird bit about this film where i just
being a dad There's no fucking way I would do
anything for anybody unless I knew what was happening
to my son. I do kind of like the fact that at
the end he's like, no, don't look her up. I don't
want to know. She doesn't need to know I exist
anymore. She's had her own life for 36 years
or something, isn't it? That he's been frozen
for. Kind of understand that a little bit. Nah,
I don't. I would be straight in. I don't know.
Because we don't... We don't know how old the
daughter was meant to be when he was frozen,
do we? Yeah, or what his relationship with her
was. So, for all we know, she was a baby, and
she's gone through not only her dad being jailed
when she's a baby, her mother dying in an earthquake,
and now he's been thawed out to capture a mass
murderer who's destroying the potential city
that she still lives in. I'm not sure. I think
I would probably do what he said, which is, no,
you know what? She just doesn't need to know
about it. I don't need to know what's going on.
She's got her own life now, and she doesn't need
the complication of me coming into it and suddenly
being there when I can't even stop swearing and
making tickets come out of the wall. I suppose,
and also, it just puts her in the crosshairs
for... Well, that too as well. Yes, you're putting
her in the crosshairs. Now, what I kind of don't
understand is if you're going to cut that scene
and the whole storyline of the daughter... Don't
just put in a very hurried thing at the end where
you tell Huxley, no, don't look her up and give
all that speech. You just re -film that beginning
bit where you say, what about my wife? She died
in the earthquake along with your daughter. Boom.
Done. Fixed it. Don't need to add in anything
at the end of the film. Don't have to worry about
the storyline. Or just not have them exist. Yeah,
or just have that. To be honest, with how he's
kind of explained as... in the beginning of the
film, being Demolition Man and all of that, you
kind of get the idea that he probably wouldn't
have had a family life. I think he was an absent
father. Yeah, but as they don't really show any
of that, it's not like Die Hard where you know
that basically Bruce Willis' wife is like, I'm
sick of this, so I'm moving on with my life and
I'm taking our kids with us. You know he's an
absent father at that point because of how they
implement it into the story. Yeah. We see nothing
about his fucking family in 1996. He only asks
about them when he's been thawed. Yeah, exactly.
And they're not there. Well, yeah, he does say
as well about his wife banging on the glass.
So maybe he wasn't. He says about dreaming that
that's happening. But again, it just it's it's
something that didn't need to be in there. It's
just you don't need to try and make him human.
We already know he's human. Just leave it at
that. I think those are probably my biggest holes
in it. There's just some straight up very funny
bits. So Phoenix blows up the warehouse. He's
obviously killed all the hostages first and they
found the body, which is why the heat signature
does. Again, they could have done with explaining
that, you know? Yeah. They've thawed him and
they finally say, oh yeah, Phoenix had actually
already killed everyone. And I'm sure I remember
there's a cut of the film where he says before
he destroys him. I'd already killed everyone.
No, he does at the end. He does say that at the
end. Yeah, in the fight scene, at the end, he's
like, I'd already killed them. Yeah, exactly.
Well, the heat scan. So, no, okay, I blanked
on that this time. But I'm glad they kind of
do that bit. Because that's when he says there
were 30 of them, which is in contradiction to
what... No, the beginning is 30. I thought it
was like 22 or something. No, I've got my notes
written in a note here, and it's 30 hostages.
Oh, okay, I didn't write that down. But what
I've got here is just after it's blown up and
they say they find all the bodies, I really love
the fact that the police officer behind him says,
if you have a lawyer, you better call him. And
then literally under a second later, he's being
frozen. It's like, hmm, your lawyer was a bit
shit then, wasn't he? It wasn't Daredevil. Yeah,
they didn't get Matt Murdock in. Yeah, it kind
of just feels like, hang on a moment. He's got
all the evidence there. He'd got the thermal
scans. His team would have seen the thermal scans.
He wasn't just working on his own. He had a Chinook
helicopter with other people on board. So they
could have shown that there's the evidence there.
But he was still put away for 70 years for the
death of all of them. Well, no, they were dead
already. Yeah, exactly. Just move on to the cryo
prison again. One thing I noticed, I was saying
it to Brandon when we were watching, it was like...
I feel like he would have been wearing a respirator
when they froze him. Yeah, so they don't quite
explain the cryo prison well enough at the beginning.
You actually get more of an insight when Phoenix
is... thawing everyone and when spartan gets
thawed because one of the process they say is
right injecting plasma and they're not talking
about plasma in the way star trek talks about
plasma within the warp engine they're talking
about the plasma inside your body so the liquid
so And obviously, I wonder if the freezing process
originally maybe went on for longer, but they
had to cut it to kind of say, people aren't going
to sit around for this. But the long and short
of it is if you look at what cryogenics is, you
don't just freeze a body because the liquid expands.
Just like if you put a bottle of beer inside
the freezer and close the door, as it freezes,
it's going to expand. It's going to blow the
top off it. So you're going to have a problem.
And that's the same with blood. And if that freezes
and damages the blood vessels, you're absolutely
screwed. Same if it happens inside the blood,
but inside the brain even. So what happens in
cryogenics is as soon as you're dead, they stick
giant, giant fuck -off needles in you and drain
all the fluid out of you. And then they fill
you up with antifreeze. And then they put your
body in liquid nitrogen. And I kind of get the
idea that whoever had the idea of the cryo prison
did their research. They just didn't put it across
well enough. So, yeah, they don't need to give
him a respirator because they're going to suck
it all out of him. But then why leave him conscious
up until the point that the fluid's all around
him? That's the thing. There's a moment in time
where he is fully submerged in that weird goo.
Yeah, that would freak me the fuck out. Yeah,
and they're very slow at getting that weird little
marble to go in and instant freeze him. There's
a moment in time where he could die. He could
have a panic attack, breathe in the goop, drown,
and then get frozen dead. But again, are we talking
about things... We haven't got any idea what
they were planning. We don't know what they say.
For all we know, in the longer director's cut,
they actually explain what that goop is, and
it's the same goop that we talked about with
Ethan and his co -host, the oxygenated goop that
technically does exist, that they use in the
Abyss. And the mouse, or the rat, sorry, actually
was put inside a box full of that goo, breathed
it, then out, and it's fine. So it could have
all been that, but either way... it's a bit of
an odd one i will say though obviously all the
wax mannequins they used and the wax works they
used for the people froze absolutely phenomenal
yeah I do wonder, so you know when they have...
You're about to say the same thing I'm thinking.
The fight with Phoenix, and they've got one in
the ice block. I'm pretty sure that's Sylvester's
one, isn't it? I think it's the same one, they've
just spun it round. It's exactly what I was about
to say, I think that's the same one. I was looking
and thinking, because he was in a very specific
shape. And that was very similar to him. And
it was a very similar looking shape, yeah. So
they just made one that was far enough away you
wouldn't know, and it was kind of just the legs.
But they also must have made a waxwork of him.
because that entire intro bit where it's slowly
panning 3D around his body, it's not him inside
one of those ice blocks. It's meant to look like
that, but it's quite obvious that the cameras
are really close to his body going around it.
It'd be CGI if they did it now. Oh, it would
be 100 % CGI if it was now. But then they wouldn't
have been doing it, not making it look that good.
No. Because it looked real, so it must have been.
Yeah. They must have made it, and it was a really
good likeness of him. It was an amazing likeness.
The skin, the texture, everything about it. And
watching it now in 4K on Netflix, you know when
something's ropey now. When we used to watch
it on a CRT TV at home, like the 14 -inch portable
TV in your bedroom, it didn't matter if it was
a bit shit because the resolution of what we
were watching at took that away. Things looked
good no matter what. yeah now we've got all these
4k remasters you can tell when something's not
had money put into it and there must have been
a lot of money put into this yeah because nothing
showed but i mean even in the cryo prison all
the machined metal they've got so the thing that
holds the little blue ball i've got a real thing
for when a film does machined metals props for
nothing but to look cool and it just how it slots
in and it feels and it's just like oh star trek
first contact when they outside and they're detaching
the deflector and they're going around and they're
doing oh that's a great scene yeah that's such
sexy metal work and it looks so good especially
when it comes out and he's like twist it and
again wrath of calm when he's doing the genesis
machine you've got this metal kind of pillar
that comes out twist it and a little one pops
out Machined metal just looks fucking awesome.
They sell that really well on First Contact.
They sell the weightlessness. They sell there's
actually friction on those things. It really
feels like they're actually doing it. They do
that really, really well. A few of my favourite
things about Demolition Man. The swearing machines.
Oh, the swearing machines are brilliant. Always
funny. Always funny. Any three seashell jokes.
Funny every time. I've got absolutely no concept
of how the three seashells could ever possibly
work to wipe your ass. It's got to be a scraping.
That's all I can ever think of. And lots of people
must remember it because it's like, it comes
up in a few games. It's in Cyberpunk. If you
haven't played Cyberpunk, your toilet has three
seashells on the back of the toilet. I think
in one of the Half -Life games, might be Half
-Life 2, there's a reference to it at one point.
One of the things I was going to say about the
swearing machines. I love the fact that it goes
on. The moratorium law or whatever it is. John
Spartan, you have been fined one half credit.
It's the fact that he says it. And you'll hear
it from halfway across the room still. So it's
not even when it's just next to him. You just
hear it in the distance sometimes. Still going
off. Now, there is one moment where someone swears
and the machine does not go off. Did you pick
it up? I've got quite a few moments that happen.
So, for example, wouldn't you think that Simon
Phoenix doing the Chinese impression would have
set it off? Well, he's not swearing, though.
No, but it's racist. He's being racist, but these
are specifically swears. These machines are meant
to be everything. Don't forget that we're in
a society that you're not even allowed to kiss
or have sex, which, again, we'll talk about in
a minute. You'd think that racist... Simon Phoenix,
for being racist, you've been fined 250 credits.
Yeah, that was rough. It was funny. It was funny.
Sorry, everyone, it was actually very funny.
But at the same time, you could not do that now.
No, and also, would you not consider all the
sexual terms he uses for having sex as something
that should trigger it? Do you think him doing
that Chinese thing was an ad lib? 100%. Because
that is brilliant if it was an ad lib. 100%,
that's got to be an ad lib. Spartan swears, doesn't
he? And it doesn't catch it. No, I think he gets
caught every single time. It's just the one that
you really, really notice is when Phoenix is
talking to the knobhead guy in his office. And
he says, he says, fuck. Yes, you're right. Nothing
happens. But do you think that's because he's
in his office and he's basically... Yeah, that's
what I'm wondering. Or at that point... Simon,
because he knows he can hack stuff if he's just
turned it off. Oh, he's turned it off for him.
Yeah, possibly. Do you know what the three terms
were that good old Stallone used? Those really
common terms used for sex. No. So one, boning.
You know what boning? Hang on, hang on. I might
have written it down. Did I write it down? I
accept boning as a term that should be used.
Okay, I don't actually have her in. The Wild
Mambo. The Wild Mambo, yeah. Again, just about
accepting this one. I don't mind that one. Hunker
Chunker, however. Hunker Chunker. I genuinely
just say no. If you're calling sex Hunker Chunker,
you don't deserve to have sex. You're a 12 -year
-old boy who's read a porno once. What's your
boggle? What is my boggle indeed? Be well, Rob
Carr. Oh, yeah. He has some of the worst lines
in the film, actually. That must have been really
hard to do, though. So you've got a standard
way of speaking that we all do, and you're telling
them, by the way, you're all now in the future,
and you have to speak in a very specific way.
So the whole B world, don't make actual contact
with each other, just using weird words. I know
it's scripted, but... The way they all do it,
it sounds absolutely perfect. Yeah, yeah. Yes,
sorry, go on. No, I was just going to say that
they make a very believable future. Yeah, they
do. Absolutely. I mean, excluding the great...
Oh, what? The franchise wars with Taco Bell winning.
Obviously, that was a very weird one, but yeah.
It's just a very, very, very good idea of the
future. And there's a few things in there that
I was actually quite taken with. So, for example,
vertical TVs everywhere. Look at us now. TikTok,
phones, YouTube sorts. We watch things more on
a vertical screen than we do a standard kind
of horizontal layout anymore. Oh, yeah. I've
got me being rude, of course. Spartan, you've
demolished everything. He hasn't demolished Huxley
yet. Wink, wink. Yeah, was it? I mean, she's
got some great... Lelina Huxley, though, has
got some really... She's got lots of fun stuff.
Like... I put it in one of the things before,
it was like, you really matched his meat, you
really licked his ass. Yeah, yeah, I love all
the slightly wrong phrases. Let's go blow this
guy. Yes. I love the fact that actually now that
makes sense. So the fact that Stallone wanted
Chan to be the bad guy, I really love the fact
that then Huxley later is kicking the arse of
all these people. And Stallone's like, where
did you learn that? Oh, Jackie Chan films. Yeah.
I wonder if that's where that came from. Yeah,
maybe. A little kind of nod to his friend there.
But she's just a really good girl. I love the
fact that she's really like us, basically. She
collects 90s shit. Yeah, yeah. She collects 90s
shit and she wants to live back in the 90s. And
that's just me straight up. Yeah. I do love the
fact that she's like, basically, having seen
you fight, kill people and beat them up, I want
to get laid. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Except it's some
shitty headset. Yeah. And the smirk on his face
when he's like, with you? Yes. Yeah. Right. How
many days since he was awake that this interaction
is happening? Oh, it was about a day. And he
only just found out his wife's dead. Yeah. I
didn't enjoy that. Yeah, in fact, that's a really
good plot point actually, isn't it? Because although
he's been frozen for 36 years, for him in theory,
no time should have passed. Although we now know
that time has passed for him. But he's basically
just been like, yeah, I'll blatantly bang you.
Straight in. Yeah, straight in. Whereas realistically,
I think everyone would be like, this actually
isn't appropriate. Because from my perspective,
my wife died today. Exactly. This is a very odd
interaction that we're having with each other.
Yeah. A couple of things as well I've got here.
The police station. That was used in Star Trek
and the Orville and several other sci -fi things.
Oh, is it? It's a water processing thing. It
was a very futuristic thing. It got used in a
lot of places. It's in the episode of the Orville
when they go to rescue the scientist who's created
the... aging gun or whatever it is um so that
was very cool I love the fact that at one point
as well I think Simon Phoenix turns to Spartan
and knocks by him and goes excuse me Rambo yeah
which is a nice little touch um I love it it's
it's definitely a film of its time I can see
that the way cinema is going at the moment, we
may get a remake of it, which will be an abject
failure. Oh, I really, really hope they don't.
Oh, my gosh. You know what? They seem to be remaking
all of these sorts of films at the moment. And
I've just kind of got here that if they remade
it, there's just things that they do. They would
make Huxley his daughter. That would be the storyline.
They'd get rid of the sex because they're like,
oh, no, that's not appropriate to have in a film
anymore. We could have a man and a woman stick
their cock in each other. It wouldn't be called
Demolition Man. It'd be called The Demolitionist.
Because they won't be able to genderfy it. Yeah,
that's true. What I also see happening would
be, and this would be the bit that would kill
it beyond all repair here. I know Phoenix is
pissed off that he's been programmed to help
this bloke and he eventually kills him. But the
main part of this would be that the modern film
would make Phoenix be super angry that he's been
programmed and then would eventually help Spartan
to be Dr. coco or whatever his name is i i saw
how phoenix was going to kill him a mile off
i've always thought it because as soon as you
know that he's been programmed and then he convinces
him to unfreeze his mates you know at that point
uh phoenix has already gone well i'll just get
my mates to kill you 100 from that moment he's
already he's because he's very clever even before
he has his mind done he's already actually quite
a clever bad guy it's It's funny, isn't it? Robocop
did it better. You consider, if you said Phoenix
is Robocop, exactly the same premise, isn't it?
Robocop cannot kill the head of OCR. Yeah. You're
fired. Bang. I can kill you now. Yeah. And exactly
in this way, Phoenix can't kill him. Someone
else can. Yeah, exactly. And how clever clogs
didn't see that coming. Exactly. And that's what
I mean. The Robocop one works better. Yeah. Because
he doesn't think he's going to be fired. He thinks,
no, I'm always going to be a mate. This is always
going to be my company. He doesn't see that coming.
Whereas, yeah, Mr. Cleverhocks literally call
it a safety net. We're keeping Spartan around
until you've done your job. And, yeah, of course
you can unlock all of your friends. What did
he think was going to happen? Yeah, exactly.
Yeah, it was a bit of a stupid way to die, I
think. It was a dumb way to die, if you know
the song. Yeah. What do you think about... I
think they all went to the Stormtrooper school
of aiming. Oh my God, yeah. Everyone. Always.
And it pisses me off. He's meant to be this crack
shot because he's been programmed as well and
he still can't hit anything. No one can hit anything.
Just fireless bullets. We all know it's a film.
I've always thought this about it. It's like,
just don't use the gun so much because... You
would have hit one of the by now. You'd be dead
by now. He's been programmed to be a killer.
We see the list of all the programs he's had.
Not one of those is, by the way, the most modern
gun you're going to be able to find in our environment
is at the museum. It's the fusion gun. To turn
it on, you do this. You have to wait two minutes
for it to work. He has no clue about any of those
guns that are modern, except for the pistols.
Yeah. Surely, that would have been in his programming
package as well. Yeah. But he just says, I'll
actually... dumb the people who were in charge
of it all were yeah i mean it does as i say we're
we're kind of trying to kill the film but we're
not no it's a really good film but if you look
into the inaccuracies and the issues that arise
from it then it's very clear to see there's lots
of holes in the story the thing about it is it
really doesn't detract if you want just a stupid
action film full of explosions and fun demolition
man is exactly what you want In the moment, you
do not really notice any of these things. Not
really. Not at all. Not in any way that you'd
ever even remotely care. Until you sit there
with a notepad and start making notes like we
did, you don't care about those things. The only
reason we bring them up is because we've sat
there and we're analysing the film. Because at
that moment, it's a good moment seeing him trying
to figure out the space age gun. That's a really
fun moment. And then suddenly when it's charged,
it's like, oh, yes. And then you get the payoff
of it actually being a really cool gun. Exactly.
It's just one of those things, I think, this
is why we talk about reviewers and what we've
got to be careful about is not being the people
that review films in the way that we dislike.
We can, and I think we're very good at this,
we can pick a film to bits and say, this was
wrong, this was wrong, but it's still not stopped
us going. But you know what? Just watching it
as a film, it's bloody brilliant. Just enjoy
it. Yeah. If you're looking for it to be really
accurate, then this isn't the film for you. But
if you're looking for a film just to have fun
with, then do it. Look, no matter what I say
negative about this film, this is one of my favourite
films of all time. This, The Thing and Lord of
the Rings, they are... They are my favourite
films of all time. I know you don't like Lord
of the Rings. You know, even The Phantom Menace
is up there as one of my most favourite. Because
I really, it's got such a nostalgic part of me,
The Phantom Menace. It's a great part of my life
when The Phantom Menace came out. I know there's
loads of things wrong with that film, but there's
just something that that film brings. So many
good memories along with it. Something I've recently
learned. So you know the pod racing scene when
the camera pans around and you see all the stands
with lots of people kind of... You can't see
them. You just see this kind of overarching view
of all the stand. Yep. Those are all little cotton
heads that have all been dyed different colours.
You know those little cotton buds that you can
kind of clean your ears? Yeah, yeah, yeah. They
cut all of them and they just gave them all different
colours and stuck them in polystyrene and that's
what the stands are in that first kind of...
panning shot of it that's what those are i haven't
watched that in like four carry things so if
you can tell oh i wonder i just like i think
things like that it's really fun to know but
uh yeah it's i wouldn't say it's one of my favorite
films it's definitely one of my films i do love
to watch though i'm not i'm not gonna take that
away from anyone it's a good film it's a it's
a film that we're on telly it is a film i would
not change the channel and i think that is what
makes a film damn right So, we've now in full
agreement that Demolition Man is the greatest
film of all time. What are we going to be doing
next time? We are going to watch new Doctor Who.
We are. We're going to at least watch the first
episode of it, at least. I think what we really
should do, let's watch the first episode, and
then let's also... take into account what Biffo
wrote about it. I haven't read what he wrote.
Well, that's what I mean. So let's give it a
read, watch the first episode, and then... No,
let's watch it first, then read it. Yeah, yeah.
Watch it, read it, then we dissect it. I would
love to see what Biffo would do as a Doctor Who
script, because he is actually one of the only
people that are genuinely qualified to say...
Yeah, absolutely. ...this isn't good, because
he wrote scripts. Yeah. So, you know what? I
would love to. And seeing all the found footage
stuff, I know you haven't watched any of the
found footage yet. Oh, my God, you're missing
out. And I would love to see what he'd do with
Doctor Who. I really, really would. I mean, from
what I do know from the stuff he writes, I think
it would be right up his alley. Oh, God, yeah.
Definitely. It would be absolutely brilliant.
I mean, Venus would be one of the main bad guys
for one point. How good would that be? I mean,
now I know who Venus is and I've seen some things.
Who's that? Oh dear. Anyway. So next week, first
episode of new Doctor Who on the BBC. That's
what season two of that guy, isn't it? Yes. Let's
move the microphone back to my face. You see,
it now swings as well. Sorry, TJ's just like
gone mad. You've got new mics, new stand. The
stand is a game changer for me because the way
I sit, you know, if you notice, well, I put mine
the other way around. I have the back going up,
but you have the back going down. I need to change
mine to be the same way as you because it's the
right way of doing it. This is just a holdover
from the other. No, I think whatever works for
you, mate, to be honest. If that works, it works.
But either way, this is so stable. I think people
can hear me wobbling it now. Yeah, that's the
only thing. So our old mics, you'd have springs
on them. So if I did this, you wouldn't hear
that because it's sprung load. And we can get
spring holders for the mics, but we don't touch
it. It's fine. Anyway, right, end of the show.
I want to go to bed, sorry. End of the show,
right. What's the time? It's 20 to midnight.
Oh, Jesus Christ. And we both have kids that
will be up at six. Yeah, right. So where can
you find us? You can find us on every single
social media. Blue Sky. Just go to channel84
.co .uk. You can find absolutely everything on
there. We are part of the Studio Channel 84 group
of indie podcasts, which is obviously the Untitled
Sci -Fi show. The other one with Tom and I is
the Variety show. Both are fortnightly, alternating
Mondays. Hopefully this one will come out on
Monday on time. We'll see. It should do, but
you know what? It should do, but if it doesn't...
It's Easter, so... It might be delayed to Tuesday.
Well, that's what I was going to say. I'm going
to do my best to get it to come out Monday, but
at the same time, where I haven't been well,
I'm finding it difficult to look at the PC screen.
I wasn't able to work. So if it doesn't come
out Monday, it'll come out Tuesday. And that's
really understandable, mate. So just bear with
me on it. It will come out before the next variety
show. Also, part of the Switch 1984, we've got
Lightly Used with Karen Adam. They just had their
20th episode. Brilliant. I can't believe that's
gone so quickly. And also, who takes the socks
off with Simon and Ross? I didn't fuck anyone
up. Thank you very much. Send in your answers,
please, to this week's, this episode, whatever
you want to call it. Guess the intro. It's all
computer games. I think they're all pretty easy
to get, and I'll try my best to make it easy
to get so we can actually get some people winning.
I'll try and make all of them a bit easier, but
still actually fun. Yeah, that's it. Tune in
next time. Thank you very much. Love you, darling.
Love you. Bye -bye. Bye. May the Force live long
and prosper inside of you. This was a Studio
Channel 84 network show. To find more, head over
to channel84 .co .uk now.