1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:07,000
Well, Mercer, I've got a little surprise for you.

2
00:00:07,000 --> 00:00:10,000
You're feeling it, aren't you?

3
00:00:10,000 --> 00:00:15,000
The survival instinct.

4
00:00:15,000 --> 00:00:18,000
Attention all colonial units.

5
00:00:18,000 --> 00:00:23,000
Cylon, attack underway.

6
00:00:23,000 --> 00:00:26,000
Nice to have you back with us, Mr. Brubaker. Would you like the same suite?

7
00:00:26,000 --> 00:00:28,000
Definitely.

8
00:00:28,000 --> 00:00:33,000
I must confess I find it difficult to believe in a disease of machinery.

9
00:00:33,000 --> 00:00:37,000
I don't want to know your name. I don't want to know anything about...

10
00:00:37,000 --> 00:00:41,000
Hello and welcome to the untitled SoFo show.

11
00:00:41,000 --> 00:00:42,000
Hey, we're doing voices, are we?

12
00:00:42,000 --> 00:00:43,000
Hell.

13
00:00:43,000 --> 00:00:47,000
Well, this is going to be an interesting episode if we are left to speak like this.

14
00:00:47,000 --> 00:00:50,000
Do you know how I love to say hello, darling? You're right.

15
00:00:50,000 --> 00:00:53,000
I'm very well, darling. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

16
00:00:53,000 --> 00:00:56,000
Have you had a nice week since the last time I saw you?

17
00:00:56,000 --> 00:01:00,000
Not too bad, thank you. Not got stuck in France this week, so we're winning.

18
00:01:00,000 --> 00:01:05,000
Hooray. Tune in to the variety show to know what we're talking about.

19
00:01:05,000 --> 00:01:07,000
To find out why Tom was angry about everything.

20
00:01:07,000 --> 00:01:10,000
Yes. So hello and welcome.

21
00:01:10,000 --> 00:01:12,000
Yes, welcome.

22
00:01:12,000 --> 00:01:14,000
What's happening, dudes?

23
00:01:14,000 --> 00:01:22,000
We are talking Jape of the Decade.

24
00:01:22,000 --> 00:01:29,000
We are talking April, May, June, July and August full.

25
00:01:29,000 --> 00:01:32,000
Yes, that's right. I am Queek.

26
00:01:32,000 --> 00:01:35,000
What?!

27
00:01:35,000 --> 00:01:39,000
The cat's already started. We've only just started and the cat's already meowing at you.

28
00:01:39,000 --> 00:01:41,000
The dog's already moving microphones around.

29
00:01:41,000 --> 00:01:43,000
To be fair, the cat doesn't normally get verbal.

30
00:01:43,000 --> 00:01:46,000
It normally just starts bunting the microphones, and this is like a new thing.

31
00:01:46,000 --> 00:01:47,000
Is she meowing at you?

32
00:01:47,000 --> 00:01:49,000
Yeah. She's like, you're not stroking me.

33
00:01:49,000 --> 00:01:52,000
Your animals love me. I don't know why.

34
00:01:52,000 --> 00:01:53,000
I do love you.

35
00:01:53,000 --> 00:01:57,000
I come into this house and I genuinely think, do you not love your cats sometimes?

36
00:01:57,000 --> 00:02:00,000
I'll tell you what, these animals get so much fucking attention.

37
00:02:00,000 --> 00:02:04,000
Because they all swarm me and it's like, you've got to pay attention to me.

38
00:02:04,000 --> 00:02:06,000
Love me.

39
00:02:06,000 --> 00:02:11,000
Right, guess the intro. No one got them all right.

40
00:02:11,000 --> 00:02:13,000
Except for me, who did get them all right.

41
00:02:13,000 --> 00:02:16,000
You did get them all right, so you get a shout out. Shout out to Tom.

42
00:02:16,000 --> 00:02:17,000
Yeah, bring it bitch.

43
00:02:17,000 --> 00:02:20,000
I did have one entry who got all but one.

44
00:02:20,000 --> 00:02:22,000
So that person doesn't get a shout out.

45
00:02:22,000 --> 00:02:23,000
No, they don't.

46
00:02:23,000 --> 00:02:24,000
Sorry.

47
00:02:24,000 --> 00:02:25,000
Womp womps.

48
00:02:25,000 --> 00:02:27,000
But they know who they are.

49
00:02:27,000 --> 00:02:29,000
So they don't get a shout out.

50
00:02:29,000 --> 00:02:34,000
So I'm going to play it and we're going to one by one, you're going to tell me what they are.

51
00:02:34,000 --> 00:02:37,000
Yes, I believe I am.

52
00:02:43,000 --> 00:02:45,000
That was very quiet now.

53
00:02:45,000 --> 00:02:48,000
Yeah, so I fiddled with all the fucking dials.

54
00:02:48,000 --> 00:02:50,000
Oh dear, he's been fiddling with his knob again.

55
00:02:50,000 --> 00:02:51,000
The next one will be louder.

56
00:02:51,000 --> 00:02:57,000
Right, well that was Closing Encounters of the Third Kind by good old Steven Spielberg.

57
00:02:57,000 --> 00:03:05,000
It was. And it's the part where they're trying to communicate and the French dude, you can just hear him at the end going, privet.

58
00:03:05,000 --> 00:03:10,000
It's the moment where they're like, hmm, we couldn't get a techno artist.

59
00:03:10,000 --> 00:03:14,000
So who can do five notes and make it sound like a musical aid?

60
00:03:14,000 --> 00:03:15,000
Yeah.

61
00:03:15,000 --> 00:03:17,000
Next.

62
00:03:19,000 --> 00:03:20,000
Layman's Terms.

63
00:03:20,000 --> 00:03:22,000
Well, fuck Layman's Terms.

64
00:03:22,000 --> 00:03:23,000
Do you speak English?

65
00:03:23,000 --> 00:03:26,000
Well, that was good old Event Horizon.

66
00:03:26,000 --> 00:03:28,000
It was.

67
00:03:28,000 --> 00:03:33,000
Event Horizon is a tough one because there's so many big actors in that.

68
00:03:33,000 --> 00:03:35,000
Everyone is a big actor, pretty much.

69
00:03:35,000 --> 00:03:37,000
And there's a lot of cobalt bits.

70
00:03:37,000 --> 00:03:41,000
And I thought it would be quite easy.

71
00:03:41,000 --> 00:03:44,000
So I did try and pick one that.

72
00:03:44,000 --> 00:03:49,000
Yeah, I mean, you can tell it's Samuel L. Jackson at that point as well, can't you?

73
00:03:49,000 --> 00:04:00,000
It's what the bit is where Scientist Guy is explaining the machine in Layman's Terms.

74
00:04:00,000 --> 00:04:01,000
Exactly.

75
00:04:01,000 --> 00:04:02,000
That's it.

76
00:04:02,000 --> 00:04:03,000
I mean, it's really difficult.

77
00:04:03,000 --> 00:04:08,000
You could have made it even easier because as soon as you hear Sam Neal's voice in it, you know exactly.

78
00:04:08,000 --> 00:04:12,000
Yeah, it would have been too easy if you'd done that.

79
00:04:12,000 --> 00:04:14,000
It's a great film as well. Great actors in it.

80
00:04:14,000 --> 00:04:15,000
Absolutely brilliant.

81
00:04:15,000 --> 00:04:17,000
Every single person cast in that was just gold.

82
00:04:17,000 --> 00:04:21,000
I put that in for Karen's benefit too because she'd just watched it.

83
00:04:21,000 --> 00:04:23,000
And I hadn't made the intro yet.

84
00:04:23,000 --> 00:04:25,000
So see if she got that.

85
00:04:25,000 --> 00:04:26,000
She hasn't said.

86
00:04:26,000 --> 00:04:28,000
Next.

87
00:04:28,000 --> 00:04:38,000
Message from aliens results in a magical machine that whisks you away to the center of the galaxy to go windsurfing with your old dad.

88
00:04:38,000 --> 00:04:40,000
So that was a really weird one.

89
00:04:40,000 --> 00:04:42,000
I had to really rack my brain on that.

90
00:04:42,000 --> 00:04:47,000
And it's actually the windsurfing with dear old dad bit that basically took me back to where it is.

91
00:04:47,000 --> 00:04:50,000
And that's contact that I felt I had to leave that bit in.

92
00:04:50,000 --> 00:04:52,000
If I did weird old film.

93
00:04:52,000 --> 00:05:00,000
Yeah, I had the clip even longer and I thought if I leave it too long, they'll definitely get it because of the court scene.

94
00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:02,000
So yeah, that was that one.

95
00:05:05,000 --> 00:05:07,000
Hello, Mr. Yakamoto.

96
00:05:07,000 --> 00:05:08,000
Welcome back.

97
00:05:08,000 --> 00:05:14,000
I had only just watched this film recently, about two or three weeks ago when I was on the train to Kent.

98
00:05:14,000 --> 00:05:20,000
And it's quite a key moment of the film because he just got the new eyes.

99
00:05:20,000 --> 00:05:24,000
He goes into the gap and you hear it straight away and it's it's a minority report.

100
00:05:24,000 --> 00:05:26,000
I think that was the hardest clip.

101
00:05:26,000 --> 00:05:29,000
Really? Yeah, because it's just so random.

102
00:05:29,000 --> 00:05:33,000
You possibly. If you hadn't seen minor part, you wouldn't have got it, I don't think.

103
00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:34,000
No, 100 percent.

104
00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:36,000
I think you are right there.

105
00:05:36,000 --> 00:05:39,000
If I hadn't seen it recently, I may not have tweaked that.

106
00:05:39,000 --> 00:05:44,000
And I couldn't do anything with the wee well poo poo pee pee women in the milky water, as you say.

107
00:05:44,000 --> 00:05:49,000
Can I just make a point about that film very, very quickly?

108
00:05:49,000 --> 00:05:52,000
We have that entire bit where he's getting the eye transplant.

109
00:05:52,000 --> 00:05:55,000
The bloke is literally.

110
00:05:55,000 --> 00:05:58,000
Shouting at him and telling him, I hate you.

111
00:05:58,000 --> 00:06:04,000
You got me put in jail, you wanker and then does a good job anyway.

112
00:06:04,000 --> 00:06:14,000
But he knows I think the point is he knows how horrible he's about Tom Cruise is about to have the next few hours or days or whatever.

113
00:06:14,000 --> 00:06:17,000
You know, he's got a moldy sandwich in this.

114
00:06:17,000 --> 00:06:22,000
So he's a bit like, I'm this is I'm not going to kill you, but I'm going to fuck you up.

115
00:06:22,000 --> 00:06:26,000
I'm going to. He's what's it they called?

116
00:06:26,000 --> 00:06:34,000
It's it's the compliance thing that people say when they they're doing it, but they'll you know, they'll do it, but they'll make it shit.

117
00:06:34,000 --> 00:06:37,000
Yeah, I know. I can't remember what the phrase is.

118
00:06:37,000 --> 00:06:40,000
I know what you mean, though. Anyway, sorry. Right.

119
00:06:40,000 --> 00:06:42,000
Next one.

120
00:06:42,000 --> 00:06:48,000
Explain, as you would a child Galaxy Quest, we only just watched it.

121
00:06:48,000 --> 00:06:51,000
So that was fresh on the mind. Malicious compliance.

122
00:06:51,000 --> 00:06:56,000
That's what's called malicious compliance. Yeah. Galaxy Quest. Yes.

123
00:06:56,000 --> 00:07:00,000
That's one hour for lunch, everybody.

124
00:07:00,000 --> 00:07:05,000
I think I know I love the original TV series of this is absolutely wonderful.

125
00:07:05,000 --> 00:07:10,000
Then they did the film and I loved the film, not only because Zoe Dishon was hot.

126
00:07:10,000 --> 00:07:12,000
Yeah, but the film is amazing.

127
00:07:12,000 --> 00:07:14,000
Just lots and lots of fun.

128
00:07:14,000 --> 00:07:19,000
Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy and still makes me laugh the whale scene.

129
00:07:19,000 --> 00:07:22,000
We'll get to watching that eventually.

130
00:07:22,000 --> 00:07:24,000
It's going to be on the whizzing past me.

131
00:07:24,000 --> 00:07:26,000
I think I'll call it air.

132
00:07:26,000 --> 00:07:27,000
This coming towards me.

133
00:07:27,000 --> 00:07:28,000
I wonder if it does.

134
00:07:28,000 --> 00:07:30,000
Hello there.

135
00:07:30,000 --> 00:07:34,000
It's just so stupid, but wonderful.

136
00:07:34,000 --> 00:07:36,000
It's a wonderful film, isn't it?

137
00:07:36,000 --> 00:07:38,000
It really is.

138
00:07:38,000 --> 00:07:41,000
Dwayne Divley. How can I recall Dwayne Divley?

139
00:07:41,000 --> 00:07:46,000
It's true. It's got your photograph, your name, address on it and everything.

140
00:07:46,000 --> 00:07:47,000
It's tied.

141
00:07:47,000 --> 00:07:52,000
Sorry, I just press record. I just completely didn't tell you.

142
00:07:52,000 --> 00:07:53,000
You're a prick sometimes.

143
00:07:53,000 --> 00:07:55,000
Sorry, I didn't even look up to see what you were doing.

144
00:07:55,000 --> 00:07:57,000
You were getting yourself ready.

145
00:07:57,000 --> 00:08:00,000
Well, at least I wasn't tugging myself off. Yeah. Hi. Hello.

146
00:08:00,000 --> 00:08:01,000
Well, we're back.

147
00:08:01,000 --> 00:08:03,000
So what have you been up to?

148
00:08:03,000 --> 00:08:07,000
Not much. No sci-fi this week, except for obviously Red Dwarf.

149
00:08:07,000 --> 00:08:09,000
I just haven't had a chance.

150
00:08:09,000 --> 00:08:13,000
It's been a busy few kind of days of work and busy family time.

151
00:08:13,000 --> 00:08:16,000
So I've not watched anything really sci-fi.

152
00:08:16,000 --> 00:08:23,000
I've just been sticking with bog standard kind of YouTube and telly in the background.

153
00:08:23,000 --> 00:08:24,000
Otherwise, now I'm good as gold really.

154
00:08:24,000 --> 00:08:27,000
I've been playing more TGC card simulator.

155
00:08:27,000 --> 00:08:28,000
Yeah. What day are you on?

156
00:08:28,000 --> 00:08:29,000
I'm only on day 50.

157
00:08:29,000 --> 00:08:34,000
There's been like a week where I've not played it and I've just picked it up for the past couple of days.

158
00:08:34,000 --> 00:08:35,000
I think I'm up to level 25.

159
00:08:35,000 --> 00:08:41,000
I've managed to start selling the dream packs now for the card game.

160
00:08:41,000 --> 00:08:43,000
I've expanded the shop a little bit more.

161
00:08:43,000 --> 00:08:47,000
It's just really novel, just good fun still.

162
00:08:47,000 --> 00:08:52,000
And it's a nice way to kind of lose half an hour, do a couple of days and then go back to whatever I was doing.

163
00:08:52,000 --> 00:09:02,000
Yeah, I've not played it for, I know, probably four or five days, but having early nights, which has made me feel wonderful the next day.

164
00:09:02,000 --> 00:09:10,000
You're so unlike me. I'm such a night owl and that I've always struggled going to sleep.

165
00:09:10,000 --> 00:09:16,000
And then I looked at my Fitbit and it did an average sleep for the last year was five and a half hours.

166
00:09:16,000 --> 00:09:17,000
Jesus.

167
00:09:17,000 --> 00:09:19,000
I thought I need to probably change that.

168
00:09:19,000 --> 00:09:21,000
That definitely needs to change.

169
00:09:21,000 --> 00:09:25,000
Yeah. And I had two days, I will not be very well.

170
00:09:25,000 --> 00:09:30,000
So I had like, I don't get migraines, but fucking hell, I had some bad headaches a few days ago.

171
00:09:30,000 --> 00:09:34,000
So I went to one night, I went to bed at nine thirty and then the next night I went to bed at ten thirty.

172
00:09:34,000 --> 00:09:37,000
And I'll tell you what, the next day I felt fucking great.

173
00:09:37,000 --> 00:09:44,000
So it's funny that you mostly get more and trying to do better at that.

174
00:09:44,000 --> 00:09:45,000
Yeah. So that's it.

175
00:09:45,000 --> 00:09:47,000
So nothing, nothing for you.

176
00:09:47,000 --> 00:09:52,000
So we've gone from forty five minute sections of you talking to two minutes.

177
00:09:52,000 --> 00:09:53,000
Yeah, I know. It's amazing.

178
00:09:53,000 --> 00:10:01,000
It's amazing. Don't hold it all against me saying I'm the one that does all that. You also go through that sort of stuff as well.

179
00:10:01,000 --> 00:10:07,000
So I normally talk too much on your show and ruin the ruined.

180
00:10:07,000 --> 00:10:09,000
Yeah, you ruin the time.

181
00:10:09,000 --> 00:10:10,000
The variety show.

182
00:10:10,000 --> 00:10:12,000
But normally I'll just say, oh yeah, we watched the aliens.

183
00:10:12,000 --> 00:10:14,000
But then you start the conversation.

184
00:10:14,000 --> 00:10:16,000
I don't say that I started.

185
00:10:16,000 --> 00:10:18,000
I like tangents. I think tangents are good.

186
00:10:18,000 --> 00:10:20,000
I think tangents are fucking brilliant.

187
00:10:20,000 --> 00:10:23,000
We are the most tangential podcast out there if you can use it in that way.

188
00:10:23,000 --> 00:10:24,000
I don't see why not.

189
00:10:24,000 --> 00:10:25,000
No.

190
00:10:25,000 --> 00:10:26,000
Tangential.

191
00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:30,000
Well, we've passed the test. Rema, you can let us out.

192
00:10:30,000 --> 00:10:31,000
I can't let you out.

193
00:10:31,000 --> 00:10:32,000
Why not?

194
00:10:32,000 --> 00:10:37,000
Because the king of the potato people won't let me.

195
00:10:37,000 --> 00:10:38,000
What have you been up to?

196
00:10:38,000 --> 00:10:40,000
Well, I have watched stuff.

197
00:10:40,000 --> 00:10:42,000
Fuck me, I've watched stuff.

198
00:10:42,000 --> 00:10:43,000
Oh my God.

199
00:10:43,000 --> 00:10:47,000
I should have added it to the what makes me angry on yours.

200
00:10:47,000 --> 00:10:51,000
But then we would have had an hour long show of me just ranting.

201
00:10:51,000 --> 00:11:00,000
So I've never had so much whiplash from two separate films that I watched this weekend, one on Saturday and one on Sunday.

202
00:11:00,000 --> 00:11:05,000
The first one, wonderful, funny, brilliant action film.

203
00:11:05,000 --> 00:11:10,000
The second one, one of the shittiest sci fi films I've ever seen.

204
00:11:10,000 --> 00:11:11,000
Oh, oh.

205
00:11:11,000 --> 00:11:20,000
So the first one, let's get the good stuff over with, fight or flight with whatever the fuck his name is, Josh Hartner.

206
00:11:20,000 --> 00:11:21,000
Right.

207
00:11:21,000 --> 00:11:29,000
He is, imagine John Wick, but it's comedy and it's stuck on an aeroplane.

208
00:11:29,000 --> 00:11:31,000
That was the film.

209
00:11:31,000 --> 00:11:32,000
It was so funny.

210
00:11:32,000 --> 00:11:33,000
I'd never heard of it.

211
00:11:33,000 --> 00:11:35,000
It just was there on the television.

212
00:11:35,000 --> 00:11:36,000
I was like, let's watch it.

213
00:11:36,000 --> 00:11:38,000
I've seen some trailers of it.

214
00:11:38,000 --> 00:11:40,000
We watched the trailer and yeah, let's watch this.

215
00:11:40,000 --> 00:11:41,000
Oh, I'm so glad we did.

216
00:11:41,000 --> 00:11:43,000
It was so funny, rude.

217
00:11:43,000 --> 00:11:50,000
Like one minute you're laughing and the next minute, instantly you're going, ah, because someone's arm has just been snapped in half.

218
00:11:50,000 --> 00:11:52,000
It is so good.

219
00:11:52,000 --> 00:11:55,000
I don't really want to say too much because it would spoil it for you.

220
00:11:55,000 --> 00:12:00,000
You know, I think there is much more room for action comedies.

221
00:12:00,000 --> 00:12:01,000
Oh, yeah.

222
00:12:01,000 --> 00:12:09,000
I mean, one of my favourite ones, it's possibly more towards action than it is comedy, but there are fantastic comedic points in it.

223
00:12:09,000 --> 00:12:12,000
It is a film called Night and Day, which is little Tommy Cruise again.

224
00:12:12,000 --> 00:12:15,000
And it's just wonderful.

225
00:12:15,000 --> 00:12:16,000
It's just so much fun.

226
00:12:16,000 --> 00:12:19,000
You can just really enjoy all the action.

227
00:12:19,000 --> 00:12:29,000
Then you've got the little bit of comedy thrown in there and it's just, it seems to be one of those categories that if done well, it's bloody brilliant.

228
00:12:29,000 --> 00:12:32,000
The thing is, the comedy all comes from Josh Hartnett.

229
00:12:32,000 --> 00:12:36,000
All the other characters are almost like the straight characters.

230
00:12:36,000 --> 00:12:41,000
And he is just funny because he's just a bit of an idiot.

231
00:12:41,000 --> 00:12:45,000
And the film is meant to be funny.

232
00:12:45,000 --> 00:12:46,000
It's meant to be.

233
00:12:46,000 --> 00:12:49,000
But he is the central comedic pillar to the film.

234
00:12:49,000 --> 00:12:52,000
Everything about him and the way he fights.

235
00:12:52,000 --> 00:12:56,000
I mean, there's a bit where a chainsaw gets thrown across the fucking plane.

236
00:12:56,000 --> 00:12:58,000
It's so good, TJ.

237
00:12:58,000 --> 00:13:02,000
I really want you to watch this so we can talk more about it because someone has spoiled it for you.

238
00:13:02,000 --> 00:13:06,000
But this is why I really want you to watch Snakes on a Plane.

239
00:13:06,000 --> 00:13:07,000
OK, I have watched it.

240
00:13:07,000 --> 00:13:09,000
I just don't remember it.

241
00:13:09,000 --> 00:13:10,000
How can you forget it?

242
00:13:10,000 --> 00:13:11,000
Yeah.

243
00:13:11,000 --> 00:13:15,000
Honestly, anyone listening to this, you go watch Fight or Flight.

244
00:13:15,000 --> 00:13:16,000
Where can they find it right now?

245
00:13:16,000 --> 00:13:17,000
I'm pretty sure it's on Netflix.

246
00:13:17,000 --> 00:13:20,000
I think that's where we watched it.

247
00:13:20,000 --> 00:13:22,000
I can't really remember.

248
00:13:22,000 --> 00:13:24,000
It's on a streaming thing.

249
00:13:24,000 --> 00:13:25,000
OK.

250
00:13:25,000 --> 00:13:26,000
Whatever. Everyone will find it.

251
00:13:26,000 --> 00:13:27,000
I don't know if I've ever brought this up.

252
00:13:27,000 --> 00:13:38,000
Justwatch.co.uk, brilliant web page, top you film in and it tells you where you can stream it for free, where you can stream it for the paid version or if it's just not available in your country at the moment.

253
00:13:38,000 --> 00:13:39,000
So it's absolutely brilliant.

254
00:13:39,000 --> 00:13:42,000
So it will list it as it's available on Netflix.

255
00:13:42,000 --> 00:13:43,000
You can buy it on Apple TV.

256
00:13:43,000 --> 00:13:51,000
You can buy it on Prime or also there's no free streaming, but you can buy it if you go to YouTube or Google.

257
00:13:51,000 --> 00:13:53,000
Really useful.

258
00:13:53,000 --> 00:14:01,000
Before I get into the shit things, I've been watching and listening to a lot of Ren this week as well as audiobooks.

259
00:14:01,000 --> 00:14:05,000
Dungeon Crawler Carl, I'm on the fourth book, literally just finished it today on the way home.

260
00:14:05,000 --> 00:14:08,000
So I'm going to download the fifth one.

261
00:14:08,000 --> 00:14:09,000
That's great.

262
00:14:09,000 --> 00:14:11,000
Anyone's into audiobooks.

263
00:14:11,000 --> 00:14:12,000
Ren stuff.

264
00:14:12,000 --> 00:14:14,000
He did this thing called Fire in the Booth.

265
00:14:14,000 --> 00:14:15,000
Yeah, I used to listen to that.

266
00:14:15,000 --> 00:14:19,000
And there's a great lyric in it, right?

267
00:14:19,000 --> 00:14:27,000
It goes condom, large size, finger jaw mom in five guys.

268
00:14:27,000 --> 00:14:29,000
I don't know why I find that so funny.

269
00:14:29,000 --> 00:14:32,000
It's just really immature and funny.

270
00:14:32,000 --> 00:14:33,000
Ren's amazing.

271
00:14:33,000 --> 00:14:36,000
Everyone knows what I think about Ren.

272
00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:42,000
He's like my musical Jack Reacher.

273
00:14:42,000 --> 00:14:44,000
Jack Reacher can pin you down and just take you.

274
00:14:44,000 --> 00:14:45,000
Ren can take you.

275
00:14:45,000 --> 00:14:53,000
Ren will be the playlist.

276
00:14:53,000 --> 00:14:55,000
So I just smacked my face on the microphone.

277
00:14:55,000 --> 00:14:58,000
Okay, so what bad thing have I been watching?

278
00:14:58,000 --> 00:15:00,000
Fucking section 31.

279
00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:08,000
I'd just like to say the main thing about it is I'm afraid to say it's undone.

280
00:15:08,000 --> 00:15:15,000
I've done all the goodwill I had for Discovery.

281
00:15:15,000 --> 00:15:17,000
That's how much I hated it.

282
00:15:17,000 --> 00:15:19,000
That is how much I think is a bad film.

283
00:15:19,000 --> 00:15:24,000
I mean, I saw the trailer and I remember sharing this trailer to our studio chat.

284
00:15:24,000 --> 00:15:27,000
Oh, shit, it looked bad.

285
00:15:27,000 --> 00:15:35,000
You had some bloke walking around in what looked like some sort of half Borg, half mech suit sort of thing straight out of,

286
00:15:35,000 --> 00:15:40,000
oh, we want to do the Avatar kind of big robot walker suit, but we haven't got the budget.

287
00:15:40,000 --> 00:15:44,000
So just strap a couple of bits on him and say it's done.

288
00:15:44,000 --> 00:15:47,000
I think Michelle Yao is the only one that's worthwhile.

289
00:15:47,000 --> 00:15:52,000
And I bet you she basically got poorly written for and because of the story, it kills her character.

290
00:15:52,000 --> 00:16:00,000
This, if she hadn't just won an Oscar, this is like a career ending film for somebody.

291
00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:03,000
She must have been locked into a contract to do this.

292
00:16:03,000 --> 00:16:10,000
And I don't actually know this is true or not, but this is my headcanon.

293
00:16:10,000 --> 00:16:14,000
The writers for what's the series called again?

294
00:16:14,000 --> 00:16:16,000
I'm so angry. I kind of remember.

295
00:16:16,000 --> 00:16:17,000
Strange New Worlds.

296
00:16:17,000 --> 00:16:18,000
No, no, no, no, no. Discovery.

297
00:16:18,000 --> 00:16:19,000
Discovery.

298
00:16:19,000 --> 00:16:22,000
They got fired at season three and then they went and wrote fucking this.

299
00:16:22,000 --> 00:16:24,000
That's my head.

300
00:16:24,000 --> 00:16:25,000
I don't know if that's true.

301
00:16:25,000 --> 00:16:26,000
It's all probably loaded blocks.

302
00:16:26,000 --> 00:16:27,000
I'm making it up.

303
00:16:27,000 --> 00:16:33,000
That's my headcanon because season four and five are really good.

304
00:16:33,000 --> 00:16:35,000
I think Discovery. Great.

305
00:16:35,000 --> 00:16:38,000
They cannot be the same people who wrote this.

306
00:16:38,000 --> 00:16:39,000
They can't be.

307
00:16:39,000 --> 00:16:40,000
I don't think it is.

308
00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:41,000
It's so bad.

309
00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:45,000
Just every part of it was boring.

310
00:16:45,000 --> 00:16:47,000
The fight, boring.

311
00:16:47,000 --> 00:16:49,000
The story, boring.

312
00:16:49,000 --> 00:16:51,000
The acting, boring.

313
00:16:51,000 --> 00:16:52,000
I was writing notes.

314
00:16:52,000 --> 00:16:55,000
I had three lines of notes and I deleted it.

315
00:16:55,000 --> 00:16:57,000
This is shit.

316
00:16:57,000 --> 00:16:59,000
Why am I even writing notes about this?

317
00:16:59,000 --> 00:17:04,000
I don't want to sit here for the next 45 minutes talking about this like I would do other stuff.

318
00:17:04,000 --> 00:17:07,000
I thought it was so rubbish.

319
00:17:07,000 --> 00:17:13,000
I'm not saying that because of everyone jumping on the hate train for Discovery.

320
00:17:13,000 --> 00:17:18,000
I've been quite open in the fact that I actually really, really liked season four and five.

321
00:17:18,000 --> 00:17:22,000
But this is awful.

322
00:17:22,000 --> 00:17:26,000
I encourage you to watch it so you can agree with me.

323
00:17:26,000 --> 00:17:27,000
Right.

324
00:17:27,000 --> 00:17:28,000
I will do.

325
00:17:28,000 --> 00:17:29,000
Just purely so you can agree.

326
00:17:29,000 --> 00:17:30,000
I will agree with you.

327
00:17:30,000 --> 00:17:34,000
And I know I will because we are very, very similar in our likes and tastes.

328
00:17:34,000 --> 00:17:36,000
I just dialed up an IMDB.

329
00:17:36,000 --> 00:17:40,000
It scores out of a 13,000 reviews.

330
00:17:40,000 --> 00:17:42,000
3.8.

331
00:17:42,000 --> 00:17:43,000
Yeah.

332
00:17:43,000 --> 00:17:45,000
That's generous.

333
00:17:45,000 --> 00:17:46,000
That's generous.

334
00:17:46,000 --> 00:17:48,000
That's got too much.

335
00:17:48,000 --> 00:17:52,000
I'm going to try and read the first sentences of some of these reviews.

336
00:17:52,000 --> 00:17:53,000
Two stars.

337
00:17:53,000 --> 00:17:54,000
Absolute rubbish.

338
00:17:54,000 --> 00:17:58,000
Seriously, I had high hopes for this movie, but it was a complete waste of time.

339
00:17:58,000 --> 00:18:02,000
Unlikeable characters, bad acting, blah, blah, blah.

340
00:18:02,000 --> 00:18:03,000
One star.

341
00:18:03,000 --> 00:18:05,000
Not Star Trek.

342
00:18:05,000 --> 00:18:07,000
I liked Michelle Yow as Jojo on Discovery.

343
00:18:07,000 --> 00:18:08,000
So did I.

344
00:18:08,000 --> 00:18:10,000
But on this, she's a different character completely.

345
00:18:10,000 --> 00:18:11,000
Absolutely.

346
00:18:11,000 --> 00:18:13,000
This isn't Star Trek of any kind.

347
00:18:13,000 --> 00:18:15,000
This is Mission Impossible, blah, blah, blah, blah.

348
00:18:15,000 --> 00:18:16,000
Hold on.

349
00:18:16,000 --> 00:18:17,000
No.

350
00:18:17,000 --> 00:18:19,000
How can they even remotely compare?

351
00:18:19,000 --> 00:18:23,000
It's also not Mission Impossible in space, as was suggested by one of the cast.

352
00:18:23,000 --> 00:18:26,000
Sorry.

353
00:18:26,000 --> 00:18:27,000
Three stars.

354
00:18:27,000 --> 00:18:30,000
Please stop doing Star Trek.

355
00:18:30,000 --> 00:18:39,000
As a massive Star Trek fan, I am deeply disappointed by the continued involvement of Oland Tundi and Susan Mee in directing Star Trek projects.

356
00:18:39,000 --> 00:18:45,000
So, okay, I don't know if there's bad blood from him and the community, but the reviews just go on.

357
00:18:45,000 --> 00:18:47,000
Yeah, I don't know anything about that.

358
00:18:47,000 --> 00:18:48,000
And on.

359
00:18:48,000 --> 00:18:49,000
Wow, is a lifelong Trekkie.

360
00:18:49,000 --> 00:18:51,000
I've sat through some bad Trek over the years.

361
00:18:51,000 --> 00:18:54,000
I don't even know what this is, but it isn't Trek.

362
00:18:54,000 --> 00:18:58,000
Whoever at Paramount approved this needs to be forcibly ejected into the mirror universe.

363
00:18:58,000 --> 00:18:59,000
This is bad.

364
00:18:59,000 --> 00:19:01,000
It's not Star Trek and it's certainly not Section 31.

365
00:19:01,000 --> 00:19:03,000
I'm pretty sure my title says it all.

366
00:19:03,000 --> 00:19:05,000
The title is Bath.

367
00:19:05,000 --> 00:19:07,000
B-A-R-F.

368
00:19:07,000 --> 00:19:11,000
Um, not Trek, not even Section 31.

369
00:19:11,000 --> 00:19:12,000
I watched it to enjoy it.

370
00:19:12,000 --> 00:19:16,000
Sometimes like others watched it just to hate it and that's an 8 out of 10.

371
00:19:16,000 --> 00:19:18,000
I didn't watch it to hate it.

372
00:19:18,000 --> 00:19:20,000
I watched it because I wanted to watch it.

373
00:19:20,000 --> 00:19:23,000
The worst Star Trek movie ever.

374
00:19:23,000 --> 00:19:25,000
Yeah.

375
00:19:25,000 --> 00:19:26,000
Right from the get go.

376
00:19:26,000 --> 00:19:27,000
This is definitely not Star Trek.

377
00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:28,000
It's enough.

378
00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:29,000
It is.

379
00:19:29,000 --> 00:19:36,000
It's as though someone decided to describe Star Trek in English tone, a person who only speaks Esperanto and not very well.

380
00:19:36,000 --> 00:19:37,000
That ties in what we're talking about today.

381
00:19:37,000 --> 00:19:38,000
Esperanto.

382
00:19:38,000 --> 00:19:42,000
I can hear the heads rolling down the Paramount studio corridors as I write this.

383
00:19:42,000 --> 00:19:44,000
Yeah.

384
00:19:44,000 --> 00:19:46,000
10 out of 10 fun space adventure.

385
00:19:46,000 --> 00:19:47,000
Oh, fuck off.

386
00:19:47,000 --> 00:19:50,000
They should have titled it a Section 31 adventure.

387
00:19:50,000 --> 00:19:52,000
It was a fun space adventure.

388
00:19:52,000 --> 00:19:55,000
It was an event in the life of the former Emperor Giorgio.

389
00:19:55,000 --> 00:19:59,000
It had a mix of spy and action filled with a good fun adventure in the 23rd century.

390
00:19:59,000 --> 00:20:03,000
It didn't really mess with canon with those that worry about stuff like that.

391
00:20:03,000 --> 00:20:05,000
And it centered on work outside the Federation.

392
00:20:05,000 --> 00:20:06,000
Oh my god.

393
00:20:06,000 --> 00:20:08,000
The TV has entered the review section.

394
00:20:08,000 --> 00:20:10,000
John Wick in space.

395
00:20:10,000 --> 00:20:12,000
One out of 10.

396
00:20:12,000 --> 00:20:15,000
That's not how this mess ever got the green light.

397
00:20:15,000 --> 00:20:17,000
It's totally beyond me.

398
00:20:17,000 --> 00:20:18,000
Four out of 10.

399
00:20:18,000 --> 00:20:20,000
Someone told AI to create Star Trek.

400
00:20:20,000 --> 00:20:22,000
I would have done better.

401
00:20:22,000 --> 00:20:23,000
One out of 10.

402
00:20:23,000 --> 00:20:27,000
I might buy the DVD just so I can burn it with fire.

403
00:20:27,000 --> 00:20:33,000
Yes, if they're going to waste their finance money on fucking the final title.

404
00:20:33,000 --> 00:20:36,000
Please remove Star Trek from that movie title.

405
00:20:36,000 --> 00:20:37,000
Right.

406
00:20:37,000 --> 00:20:42,000
So let's let me talk about what was good about it.

407
00:20:42,000 --> 00:20:49,000
It ended the end when the credits finally came up and I could instantly remove it from the screen.

408
00:20:49,000 --> 00:20:50,000
No.

409
00:20:50,000 --> 00:20:57,000
So Michelle Yow is the only thing that made that even remotely watchable.

410
00:20:57,000 --> 00:21:00,000
And this has got to be the worst thing she's ever been in.

411
00:21:00,000 --> 00:21:05,000
As I said earlier, she must have been contracted into doing that.

412
00:21:05,000 --> 00:21:10,000
And I hope she got paid loads and I hope she can just forget about it and just move on.

413
00:21:10,000 --> 00:21:13,000
And it's such a shame because she's great in Odyssey.

414
00:21:13,000 --> 00:21:17,000
Why do I keep calling it Odyssey?

415
00:21:17,000 --> 00:21:20,000
In Discovery, she's really good in it.

416
00:21:20,000 --> 00:21:21,000
Her character is great in it.

417
00:21:21,000 --> 00:21:24,000
And there are parts of this which are quite cool.

418
00:21:24,000 --> 00:21:30,000
He has a whole backstory for her, how she became the Emperor in the mirror universe.

419
00:21:30,000 --> 00:21:37,000
It's a good plot line and a good idea for an episode of Discovery.

420
00:21:37,000 --> 00:21:38,000
Exactly.

421
00:21:38,000 --> 00:21:40,000
All the rest of it can be removed.

422
00:21:40,000 --> 00:21:44,000
And then you would have had a Discovery episode, which would have been a good Discovery episode.

423
00:21:44,000 --> 00:21:52,000
Now, I'm going to say first of all, this is not putting whatever they're calling this new recruits series that they're building in a good light.

424
00:21:52,000 --> 00:21:56,000
If it's got any relation to this, it's going to be fucking awful.

425
00:21:56,000 --> 00:22:00,000
Yeah, because so far how you've described Section 31 is a car crash.

426
00:22:00,000 --> 00:22:09,000
And oh my God, we're coming from the end of the series of Strange New Worlds with the Gorn attacking.

427
00:22:09,000 --> 00:22:12,000
They're stuck in the village or the town that they're in.

428
00:22:12,000 --> 00:22:14,000
And we're still waiting for this new series.

429
00:22:14,000 --> 00:22:21,000
Section 31 comes in and ruins any sort of want to watch Star Trek at the moment from the sound of it.

430
00:22:21,000 --> 00:22:26,000
And that's really horrible because Strange New Worlds is doing it right.

431
00:22:26,000 --> 00:22:31,000
And like you said, these last two series of Discovery, in your opinion, are really, really good.

432
00:22:31,000 --> 00:22:39,000
Therefore, so why, oh why are they risking all of this to do?

433
00:22:39,000 --> 00:22:42,000
I don't know. I can't even explain what this is meant to be.

434
00:22:42,000 --> 00:22:45,000
Is it meant to be comedic Star Trek? Is it meant to be?

435
00:22:45,000 --> 00:22:47,000
It's not funny.

436
00:22:47,000 --> 00:22:51,000
The way the trailer put it, you either thought it's going to be,

437
00:22:51,000 --> 00:22:56,000
this is kind of the Suicide Squad of Star Trek is kind of how I took the trailer to be.

438
00:22:56,000 --> 00:23:01,000
These people are basically the worst of the worst and they've just been teamed up as part of Section 31.

439
00:23:01,000 --> 00:23:03,000
And they go and do the job no one else wants to.

440
00:23:03,000 --> 00:23:05,000
That's what I took from it.

441
00:23:05,000 --> 00:23:15,000
So I was expecting, okay, maybe we're going to get a little bit of the sort of comedy injected from lower decks maybe.

442
00:23:15,000 --> 00:23:17,000
Maybe we'll get a bit of the comedy from Strange New Worlds,

443
00:23:17,000 --> 00:23:22,000
but we'll get the writing quality of these last two good seasons of Star Trek we've had.

444
00:23:22,000 --> 00:23:24,000
And obviously not.

445
00:23:24,000 --> 00:23:27,000
That's really worrying, the Paramount are bouncing around like this.

446
00:23:27,000 --> 00:23:35,000
It's more Ocean's Eleven-sy, I suppose, like setting up this supposed grand scheme of how to capture someone at the beginning

447
00:23:35,000 --> 00:23:38,000
and going through how they're going to do it.

448
00:23:38,000 --> 00:23:42,000
And then suddenly Michelle Yeoh is going, no, we're going to do this way and do it her way.

449
00:23:42,000 --> 00:23:48,000
Just every beat of the film was so incredibly predictable.

450
00:23:48,000 --> 00:23:51,000
And I'm not very good at predicting shows and stuff.

451
00:23:51,000 --> 00:23:53,000
I'm normally surprised by twists.

452
00:23:53,000 --> 00:23:55,000
I'm a bit of an idiot when it comes to it.

453
00:23:55,000 --> 00:23:58,000
I get so engrossed in the moment I don't see ahead.

454
00:23:58,000 --> 00:24:02,000
I saw fucking everything coming in this because it was so obvious.

455
00:24:02,000 --> 00:24:07,000
They literally were telling you what was going to happen before it happened.

456
00:24:07,000 --> 00:24:15,000
It's the plot line of just this little character who's like teeny, teeny, tiny little character controlling this mech suit thing.

457
00:24:15,000 --> 00:24:20,000
Just the plot points with that character were so fucking obvious.

458
00:24:20,000 --> 00:24:22,000
It was just shit.

459
00:24:22,000 --> 00:24:24,000
Now, I will say this.

460
00:24:24,000 --> 00:24:28,000
You said, Michelle Yeoh, she's a well-established actress.

461
00:24:28,000 --> 00:24:31,000
Let's face it, it was the three-body problem, wasn't it?

462
00:24:31,000 --> 00:24:32,000
No.

463
00:24:32,000 --> 00:24:34,000
Oh, no, that was...

464
00:24:34,000 --> 00:24:41,000
The film with her and the guy from Indiana Jones, both got Oscars for...

465
00:24:41,000 --> 00:24:42,000
No.

466
00:24:42,000 --> 00:24:44,000
Everything all at once.

467
00:24:44,000 --> 00:24:46,000
That was it.

468
00:24:46,000 --> 00:24:48,000
That was the film that she did recently.

469
00:24:48,000 --> 00:24:50,000
As well as Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon.

470
00:24:50,000 --> 00:24:52,000
Yeah, so everything, everything.

471
00:24:52,000 --> 00:24:56,000
Crouching Tiger, Hidden Cucumber, Crazy Rich Asians, Wicked.

472
00:24:56,000 --> 00:24:59,000
Yeah, she's got a back catalogue that is not going to be a problem.

473
00:24:59,000 --> 00:25:01,000
She's a brilliant actress.

474
00:25:01,000 --> 00:25:02,000
Yeah, exactly.

475
00:25:02,000 --> 00:25:03,000
So she's not got a problem.

476
00:25:03,000 --> 00:25:05,000
Can I just point out something, though?

477
00:25:05,000 --> 00:25:07,000
And I don't know if we've talked about this before.

478
00:25:07,000 --> 00:25:09,000
Do you like Tom Hardy?

479
00:25:09,000 --> 00:25:11,000
I do like Tom Hardy.

480
00:25:11,000 --> 00:25:18,000
Did you know his Star Trek role nearly meant he lost any chance of being an actor?

481
00:25:18,000 --> 00:25:20,000
I think you might have told me that before.

482
00:25:20,000 --> 00:25:22,000
Yeah, so he was in Star Trek Nemesis.

483
00:25:22,000 --> 00:25:24,000
He played young clone Picard.

484
00:25:24,000 --> 00:25:30,000
And it bombed so badly, he genuinely struggled to get acting work.

485
00:25:30,000 --> 00:25:32,000
And people warned him, don't take that role.

486
00:25:32,000 --> 00:25:33,000
He did it.

487
00:25:33,000 --> 00:25:37,000
And it nearly bombed his entire career.

488
00:25:37,000 --> 00:25:42,000
It was a few years before he really got his big breaks coming in.

489
00:25:42,000 --> 00:25:45,000
So it's interesting to see.

490
00:25:45,000 --> 00:25:49,000
As you say, Michelle Yeoh, fairly certain she's safe.

491
00:25:49,000 --> 00:25:53,000
But if that had been someone else, that could have killed their career.

492
00:25:53,000 --> 00:25:57,000
I think if she didn't have the Oscar and hadn't done,

493
00:25:57,000 --> 00:26:00,000
well, I fucking know anything about the film industry.

494
00:26:00,000 --> 00:26:07,000
But from my perspective, it's that bad that if she hadn't got that Oscar and done that film,

495
00:26:07,000 --> 00:26:13,000
I think there's another one that she's in, that came out, I don't know the names of the films.

496
00:26:13,000 --> 00:26:17,000
If she hadn't done those and this had come out, you wouldn't see her if I get anything.

497
00:26:17,000 --> 00:26:18,000
No, exactly.

498
00:26:18,000 --> 00:26:19,000
The film is that bad.

499
00:26:19,000 --> 00:26:20,000
Damn.

500
00:26:20,000 --> 00:26:21,000
Okay, well, I will add it to my list.

501
00:26:21,000 --> 00:26:22,000
I will try and watch it this week.

502
00:26:22,000 --> 00:26:28,000
And I will give you a very short rundown in comparison to this as to what my thoughts were on it.

503
00:26:28,000 --> 00:26:31,000
Aside from that, nothing else.

504
00:26:31,000 --> 00:26:33,000
I'm just too depressed for it.

505
00:26:33,000 --> 00:26:36,000
It's just to say it was so bad, TJ.

506
00:26:36,000 --> 00:26:38,000
Well, let's move on to happy things.

507
00:26:38,000 --> 00:26:47,000
I am Holly, the ship's computer with an IQ of 6,000, the same IQ as 6,000 PE teachers.

508
00:26:47,000 --> 00:26:50,000
Ah, it's cold outside.

509
00:26:50,000 --> 00:26:52,000
Do you want to do Red Dwarf or do you want to do cards?

510
00:26:52,000 --> 00:26:53,000
Oh, yeah.

511
00:26:53,000 --> 00:26:54,000
Let's do the cards.

512
00:26:54,000 --> 00:26:56,000
You've brought a gift for us.

513
00:26:56,000 --> 00:27:04,000
So because we've been playing TGC card simulator, part of that game and part of the thing that I really like is not only that you build your shop,

514
00:27:04,000 --> 00:27:10,000
is that you've got these card packs on the table, blister packs, just like Pokemon cards.

515
00:27:10,000 --> 00:27:11,000
Yeah.

516
00:27:11,000 --> 00:27:14,000
And you can open them and all the cards are their own game.

517
00:27:14,000 --> 00:27:17,000
And they've obviously got a lot of thought into it because all the cards are different.

518
00:27:17,000 --> 00:27:22,000
You've got all the, I think it's over nearly a thousand to collect on the cards in the game.

519
00:27:22,000 --> 00:27:25,000
And I thought, you know, I haven't opened a blister pack of cards.

520
00:27:25,000 --> 00:27:27,000
Are you ready for this?

521
00:27:27,000 --> 00:27:38,000
Since Magic the Gathering, and I would have said that would have been 1999, early 2000s, I haven't opened a card blister pack like these in years.

522
00:27:38,000 --> 00:27:40,000
So I stopped by Aldi on the way over.

523
00:27:40,000 --> 00:27:42,000
They've got some cheap Pokemon cards going.

524
00:27:42,000 --> 00:27:44,000
I thought we should open them and see if we get any foils.

525
00:27:44,000 --> 00:27:45,000
Cool.

526
00:27:45,000 --> 00:27:47,000
Is it still foils that are cool?

527
00:27:47,000 --> 00:27:49,000
I guess so.

528
00:27:49,000 --> 00:27:51,000
It's like full art ones they do now as well.

529
00:27:51,000 --> 00:27:58,000
So this is like, it's got three closed packs and a single open card.

530
00:27:58,000 --> 00:27:59,000
So I've got an Arcanine on mine.

531
00:27:59,000 --> 00:28:01,000
I've got like a shiny Arcanine.

532
00:28:01,000 --> 00:28:06,000
I have a Dondazoe with a nice shiny foil outside.

533
00:28:06,000 --> 00:28:07,000
It's glittery.

534
00:28:07,000 --> 00:28:10,000
I mean, for me, yeah, it was always, I wanted the special cards.

535
00:28:10,000 --> 00:28:16,000
So the ones that were shiny, just like the stickers in the old Panini sticker albums.

536
00:28:16,000 --> 00:28:17,000
I always wanted the shiny sticker.

537
00:28:17,000 --> 00:28:22,000
It's all they do nowadays is that they give you code so you can add them to the trading card game.

538
00:28:22,000 --> 00:28:23,000
Oh, OK.

539
00:28:23,000 --> 00:28:28,000
Not to the one I play on my phone, but to the old one that you used to have.

540
00:28:28,000 --> 00:28:30,000
I used to play, I didn't play anymore.

541
00:28:30,000 --> 00:28:31,000
Fair enough.

542
00:28:31,000 --> 00:28:38,000
So you don't get this exact, that might be for this card, but it'll give you like a pack to open.

543
00:28:38,000 --> 00:28:40,000
You'll get different cards inside it.

544
00:28:40,000 --> 00:28:43,000
This Pokemon is a Glosson, but it's bad at getting food.

545
00:28:43,000 --> 00:28:48,000
It teams up with Tatsuguri to catch prey.

546
00:28:48,000 --> 00:28:49,000
Great.

547
00:28:49,000 --> 00:28:51,000
Means fuck all to me.

548
00:28:51,000 --> 00:28:53,000
Are you reading that right in the bottom?

549
00:28:53,000 --> 00:28:55,000
Yeah, bottom right corner.

550
00:28:55,000 --> 00:28:59,000
Fucking hell, are they magnifying glasses?

551
00:28:59,000 --> 00:29:01,000
No, it just, they stopped me from being blind.

552
00:29:01,000 --> 00:29:05,000
An ancient, oh fucking hell, I can't read that.

553
00:29:05,000 --> 00:29:12,000
OK, an ancient picture scroll shows that people were captivated by its movement as it ran through prairies.

554
00:29:12,000 --> 00:29:14,000
Can I point out you might need glasses?

555
00:29:14,000 --> 00:29:16,000
Yeah, maybe.

556
00:29:16,000 --> 00:29:20,000
I think maybe if the light was bright, I might be able to, I cannot read that.

557
00:29:20,000 --> 00:29:25,000
Now, interesting, I was reading on, I say interesting, I was reading online.

558
00:29:25,000 --> 00:29:26,000
Is there a way?

559
00:29:26,000 --> 00:29:27,000
I'll be the judge of that.

560
00:29:27,000 --> 00:29:28,000
I'll be the judge of that.

561
00:29:28,000 --> 00:29:29,000
That's interesting.

562
00:29:29,000 --> 00:29:35,000
I just, I put down online earlier, is there a way to tell if a pack has a rare card in it or not?

563
00:29:35,000 --> 00:29:41,000
And there's an entire database dedicated now to all the different best of packs.

564
00:29:41,000 --> 00:29:48,000
And the likelihood of them having a hologram card versus a non hologram card, and they've got the weight ranges for the packs.

565
00:29:48,000 --> 00:29:49,000
I was going to say, it must be weight.

566
00:29:49,000 --> 00:29:51,000
It's all by weight.

567
00:29:51,000 --> 00:29:54,000
The amount of depth people go into these.

568
00:29:54,000 --> 00:30:01,000
I mean, watching the couple of people, there's a couple of people on TikTok that pop up, opening up packets to see what they get.

569
00:30:01,000 --> 00:30:02,000
So there's a way you're meant to do it.

570
00:30:02,000 --> 00:30:07,000
You're meant to like move like a top card to the back or something.

571
00:30:07,000 --> 00:30:09,000
It puts it in a different order, but I don't remember what it is.

572
00:30:09,000 --> 00:30:11,000
No, well, I don't care.

573
00:30:11,000 --> 00:30:13,000
So I've opened up my first pack.

574
00:30:13,000 --> 00:30:14,000
How many cards do you get?

575
00:30:14,000 --> 00:30:15,000
Got 10.

576
00:30:15,000 --> 00:30:17,000
Oh, you do get a generous amount of cards then.

577
00:30:17,000 --> 00:30:21,000
I think Magic the Gathering used to get six cards and that was kind of it.

578
00:30:21,000 --> 00:30:25,000
I've got, oh, I've got ones that are a bit shiny.

579
00:30:25,000 --> 00:30:27,000
Oh, well, I've got a shiny one.

580
00:30:27,000 --> 00:30:29,000
Sorry, she said.

581
00:30:29,000 --> 00:30:32,000
I've got a Bog Stand, a Basic and Energy.

582
00:30:32,000 --> 00:30:33,000
I've got a couple.

583
00:30:33,000 --> 00:30:35,000
Are they just all going to be shiny?

584
00:30:35,000 --> 00:30:44,000
I've got like some that have got like glossiness to them and then like weird holographic patterns.

585
00:30:44,000 --> 00:30:48,000
Well, the ones that don't have any sort of holographic pattern, I'm going to ignore.

586
00:30:48,000 --> 00:30:54,000
I've got one that's called Flawjies or Flawgies and that's kind of a holographic patterny one.

587
00:30:54,000 --> 00:31:01,000
I've got one called Toxtricity, which again, I think is rather cool, holography one.

588
00:31:01,000 --> 00:31:08,000
And then I've got Cloth, which is kind of a shiny holography one as well.

589
00:31:08,000 --> 00:31:10,000
Well, I've got the cutest thing ever.

590
00:31:10,000 --> 00:31:12,000
It's a little pig called Lechonk.

591
00:31:12,000 --> 00:31:13,000
Lechonk.

592
00:31:13,000 --> 00:31:15,000
Lechonk.

593
00:31:15,000 --> 00:31:18,000
You see how up to date we are on Pokemon, isn't it?

594
00:31:18,000 --> 00:31:20,000
I've got something called a Floret.

595
00:31:20,000 --> 00:31:23,000
That's kind of a little bit shiny.

596
00:31:23,000 --> 00:31:24,000
Oh, this guy looks cool.

597
00:31:24,000 --> 00:31:25,000
Oh, I've got that one.

598
00:31:25,000 --> 00:31:26,000
Oh, no, I've got the Flawgies.

599
00:31:26,000 --> 00:31:30,000
This guy, Craydon.

600
00:31:30,000 --> 00:31:32,000
Oh, he's the bike.

601
00:31:32,000 --> 00:31:34,000
Yeah, he's the bike thing from the game.

602
00:31:34,000 --> 00:31:35,000
There's a bike thing?

603
00:31:35,000 --> 00:31:39,000
So these are, so yeah, Scarlet and Violet.

604
00:31:39,000 --> 00:31:40,000
He's this guy.

605
00:31:40,000 --> 00:31:41,000
He's him.

606
00:31:41,000 --> 00:31:44,000
There's the legendary, you know, each one has a legendary Pokemon, doesn't it?

607
00:31:44,000 --> 00:31:49,000
He's the one from the Scarlet one.

608
00:31:49,000 --> 00:31:50,000
Right.

609
00:31:50,000 --> 00:31:53,000
Like you ride around a Pokemon who's also a motorbike.

610
00:31:53,000 --> 00:31:55,000
Oh, look, I've got Floret, but not the special one.

611
00:31:55,000 --> 00:31:58,000
Oh, has he got the same card?

612
00:31:58,000 --> 00:32:00,000
That's the same card.

613
00:32:00,000 --> 00:32:02,000
That's a boring one.

614
00:32:02,000 --> 00:32:04,000
Boring one.

615
00:32:04,000 --> 00:32:06,000
I don't know.

616
00:32:06,000 --> 00:32:08,000
I don't know if these are.

617
00:32:08,000 --> 00:32:12,000
Yeah, I guess those are special.

618
00:32:12,000 --> 00:32:16,000
Oh, and I've got what I consider a boring one.

619
00:32:16,000 --> 00:32:17,000
Professors Research.

620
00:32:17,000 --> 00:32:20,000
Discard your hand and draw seven cards.

621
00:32:20,000 --> 00:32:23,000
And that's a kind of shiny one.

622
00:32:23,000 --> 00:32:26,000
I have a Croagunk.

623
00:32:26,000 --> 00:32:27,000
Oh, cool.

624
00:32:27,000 --> 00:32:30,000
Which has come kind of shiny, I guess.

625
00:32:30,000 --> 00:32:32,000
And a Drifloon.

626
00:32:32,000 --> 00:32:33,000
Drifloon.

627
00:32:33,000 --> 00:32:38,000
So I've got a Chloritza.

628
00:32:38,000 --> 00:32:43,000
A Whistle that looks kind of like a Weasel or a Ferret or something.

629
00:32:43,000 --> 00:32:45,000
And we know this one, Slowbro.

630
00:32:45,000 --> 00:32:48,000
Oh, yeah, Slowbro.

631
00:32:48,000 --> 00:32:56,000
Now, if I get a chance this week, I will jump online and I will put all of the bots I've got through

632
00:32:56,000 --> 00:32:58,000
and see if any of them are worth anything.

633
00:32:58,000 --> 00:32:59,000
I've got the app on my phone.

634
00:32:59,000 --> 00:33:00,000
Oh, have you?

635
00:33:00,000 --> 00:33:01,000
Yeah, because I went for my old ones.

636
00:33:01,000 --> 00:33:05,000
I will have to do that at some point then and see if any of these are worth anything.

637
00:33:05,000 --> 00:33:09,000
It would be funny if we suddenly pull a card that's worth a good chunk of money.

638
00:33:09,000 --> 00:33:10,000
We don't know.

639
00:33:10,000 --> 00:33:13,000
There was somebody listening going, oh my God, he's got the Drifloon.

640
00:33:13,000 --> 00:33:15,000
Yeah, why is he ripping it up?

641
00:33:15,000 --> 00:33:18,000
What are you doing, you fucking idiot?

642
00:33:18,000 --> 00:33:19,000
Oh, right.

643
00:33:19,000 --> 00:33:27,000
OK, so there seems to always be at least three kind of hologram ones.

644
00:33:27,000 --> 00:33:33,000
And this time I've got a Gryavard, which looks straight up out of kind of a Hanna Barbera card.

645
00:33:33,000 --> 00:33:35,000
It does, it's like an evil dog.

646
00:33:35,000 --> 00:33:37,000
Realu.

647
00:33:37,000 --> 00:33:39,000
Realu.

648
00:33:39,000 --> 00:33:42,000
And this one looks quite funky, a Horlucha.

649
00:33:42,000 --> 00:33:46,000
So I've got the Miradon, which is the other bike.

650
00:33:46,000 --> 00:33:50,000
So I've got both of the legendary bikes, which is quite cool.

651
00:33:50,000 --> 00:33:52,000
And they're on the shiny cards.

652
00:33:52,000 --> 00:33:55,000
Yeah, Sandile, which is like a weird little crocodile thing.

653
00:33:55,000 --> 00:34:03,000
And then a Cyclizar, a basic Cyclizar.

654
00:34:03,000 --> 00:34:05,000
Very nice.

655
00:34:05,000 --> 00:34:07,000
Yeah, it's got some shiny things.

656
00:34:07,000 --> 00:34:10,000
I can understand why people kind of get addicted to things like this.

657
00:34:10,000 --> 00:34:21,000
Now, for me, if it had stayed as it was with the original kind of Pokemon, it would have been...

658
00:34:21,000 --> 00:34:23,000
I would have quite enjoyed that, especially if you...

659
00:34:23,000 --> 00:34:26,000
Can you still buy the basic blisters of the original game?

660
00:34:26,000 --> 00:34:29,000
I imagine you can. I don't know if it might be really expensive.

661
00:34:29,000 --> 00:34:31,000
Yeah, I just genuinely don't know.

662
00:34:31,000 --> 00:34:35,000
But if you can, then brilliant, I will.

663
00:34:35,000 --> 00:34:40,000
But it kind of feels like there's so many different blister packs and different games now.

664
00:34:40,000 --> 00:34:43,000
I mean, can all of these cards be played in the same game as each other?

665
00:34:43,000 --> 00:34:45,000
Yeah, I think so. I think they can.

666
00:34:45,000 --> 00:34:54,000
Oh, OK. That's a little bit better then, because I was just assuming that because they're so different, it's not the case.

667
00:34:54,000 --> 00:34:58,000
Right, so people are trying to get for at least...

668
00:34:58,000 --> 00:35:01,000
Oh, no, that's different artwork of mine.

669
00:35:01,000 --> 00:35:03,000
OK, so it's not that one.

670
00:35:03,000 --> 00:35:05,000
You're just looking at where the ones were.

671
00:35:05,000 --> 00:35:11,000
I'm just having a quick look to see if there's one that is for sale that actually matches mine.

672
00:35:11,000 --> 00:35:14,000
And... Oh, wow!

673
00:35:14,000 --> 00:35:18,000
OK, well, my card is selling on eBay.

674
00:35:18,000 --> 00:35:22,000
Bear in mind, this is selling. It's not sold.

675
00:35:22,000 --> 00:35:24,000
£47.52.

676
00:35:24,000 --> 00:35:28,000
Well, that's all right. That's paid for it. You get that on eBay. Off you go.

677
00:35:28,000 --> 00:35:31,000
So, yeah, if I stick it in at £20, that will piss this seller off.

678
00:35:31,000 --> 00:35:37,000
I'll tell you what, let's have a competition to see who's got the most value in there.

679
00:35:37,000 --> 00:35:45,000
No, have you got an eBay account? eBay is now free to list. For normal users, it's all free to list now.

680
00:35:45,000 --> 00:35:48,000
Let's see who can make the most money out of the Pokémon cards.

681
00:35:48,000 --> 00:35:50,000
Don't sell our cards.

682
00:35:50,000 --> 00:35:52,000
Brilliant. Oh, wow, I like that.

683
00:35:52,000 --> 00:35:58,000
OK, we'll keep those safe. I'm going to go and buy some penny packs for them and wrap them all up nicely.

684
00:35:58,000 --> 00:36:00,000
Like fuck.

685
00:36:00,000 --> 00:36:03,000
Fucking hell. Hurry up, nerds.

686
00:36:03,000 --> 00:36:10,000
All right, everyone. So we have just we've just gone through Rare Candy and scanned all of our shiny ones and it gives us a value.

687
00:36:10,000 --> 00:36:17,000
So mine has come to a total amazing value of $1.80.

688
00:36:17,000 --> 00:36:20,000
So, do you beat $1.80?

689
00:36:20,000 --> 00:36:22,000
No!

690
00:36:22,000 --> 00:36:30,000
So out of the special ones we scanned, I scanned one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight.

691
00:36:30,000 --> 00:36:33,000
Is there ten there? Yeah, I've scanned ten special cards.

692
00:36:33,000 --> 00:36:37,000
Yeah, I've got ten.

693
00:36:37,000 --> 00:36:40,000
I think. Oh, hang on, hang on.

694
00:36:40,000 --> 00:36:42,000
You can click it to make it the same one.

695
00:36:42,000 --> 00:36:49,000
Yeah, I'm making sure they are all set to Scarlet and Violet because that's what this is.

696
00:36:49,000 --> 00:36:51,000
Oh, God, that's actually taking it down.

697
00:36:51,000 --> 00:36:57,000
I did that. I changed one to what it was meant to be and it took it down from like 12p to 6p.

698
00:36:57,000 --> 00:37:02,000
$1.11, allegedly.

699
00:37:02,000 --> 00:37:03,000
Winner, winner.

700
00:37:03,000 --> 00:37:09,000
So the one that someone's trying to sell for 50 quid on YouTube on eBay is 12 cents.

701
00:37:09,000 --> 00:37:10,000
Oh, dear.

702
00:37:10,000 --> 00:37:14,000
But I don't know. Can you trust this or is this?

703
00:37:14,000 --> 00:37:18,000
This is this is like an official valuing thing, I think.

704
00:37:18,000 --> 00:37:19,000
Oh, dear.

705
00:37:19,000 --> 00:37:21,000
That guy's.

706
00:37:21,000 --> 00:37:28,000
What I'm going to do, actually, let me just very I'm going to very quickly scan just a really random card.

707
00:37:28,000 --> 00:37:32,000
You know, one of the cards that we didn't consider special just to see.

708
00:37:32,000 --> 00:37:33,000
Like a trainer card.

709
00:37:33,000 --> 00:37:35,000
Yeah. So this is not even a foil one.

710
00:37:35,000 --> 00:37:37,000
So all the cards I've scanned.

711
00:37:37,000 --> 00:37:39,000
It's like a person.

712
00:37:39,000 --> 00:37:40,000
Oh, right. Yeah.

713
00:37:40,000 --> 00:37:46,000
11 cents. So exactly the same value as pretty much all of the foil cards I got in that pack.

714
00:37:46,000 --> 00:37:49,000
That's upset you, isn't it?

715
00:37:49,000 --> 00:37:50,000
No, it's not upset me.

716
00:37:50,000 --> 00:37:56,000
It's just it's it's so weird seeing people trying to sell stuff on eBay for 50 quid.

717
00:37:56,000 --> 00:37:59,000
Yeah. The official marketplace.

718
00:37:59,000 --> 00:38:01,000
That's just weird.

719
00:38:01,000 --> 00:38:02,000
Hmm.

720
00:38:02,000 --> 00:38:03,000
That's fun.

721
00:38:03,000 --> 00:38:04,000
Thank you.

722
00:38:04,000 --> 00:38:06,000
Howdy doodly doo.

723
00:38:06,000 --> 00:38:07,000
How's it going?

724
00:38:07,000 --> 00:38:09,000
I'm talky talky toaster.

725
00:38:09,000 --> 00:38:11,000
Your chirpy breakfast companion.

726
00:38:11,000 --> 00:38:12,000
Talky is the name.

727
00:38:12,000 --> 00:38:14,000
Toasting is the game.

728
00:38:14,000 --> 00:38:16,000
Anyone like any toast?

729
00:38:16,000 --> 00:38:17,000
Yay.

730
00:38:17,000 --> 00:38:18,000
You can say it now.

731
00:38:18,000 --> 00:38:19,000
It's cold outside.

732
00:38:19,000 --> 00:38:20,000
No kind of atmosphere.

733
00:38:20,000 --> 00:38:21,000
It's all alone.

734
00:38:21,000 --> 00:38:22,000
More or less.

735
00:38:22,000 --> 00:38:23,000
Anyway, Red Dwarf.

736
00:38:23,000 --> 00:38:25,000
Yay. Oh, God.

737
00:38:25,000 --> 00:38:29,000
Now, if this had been a Disney show, there would have been at the beginning of it.

738
00:38:29,000 --> 00:38:33,000
This show does not reflect the current thoughts of the generation.

739
00:38:33,000 --> 00:38:36,000
It did give you a load of fucking stuff on the iPlayer.

740
00:38:36,000 --> 00:38:38,000
Where did you watch the iPlayer?

741
00:38:38,000 --> 00:38:42,000
iPlayer. But as I did on the Apple TV and I just did it from the Apple TV main screen.

742
00:38:42,000 --> 00:38:44,000
I didn't get any of that.

743
00:38:44,000 --> 00:38:45,000
It just goes straight.

744
00:38:45,000 --> 00:38:47,000
It gave me loads of fucking bollocks to click through.

745
00:38:47,000 --> 00:38:49,000
But maybe I just couldn't use the iPlayer on this phone yet.

746
00:38:49,000 --> 00:38:50,000
Maybe that's why.

747
00:38:50,000 --> 00:38:51,000
Okay.

748
00:38:51,000 --> 00:38:52,000
No, fair enough.

749
00:38:52,000 --> 00:38:55,000
No, no, no, no, no, no bollocks for when I watched it.

750
00:38:55,000 --> 00:39:00,000
I was texting Adam, lightly used, a little bit before I watched these.

751
00:39:00,000 --> 00:39:08,000
And I was saying to him, God, I just need something to get, you know, I need something to just

752
00:39:08,000 --> 00:39:13,000
re-bring my, what was the word I used?

753
00:39:13,000 --> 00:39:16,000
Trust or whatever in sci-fi after watching fucking Section 30.

754
00:39:16,000 --> 00:39:17,000
Yeah.

755
00:39:17,000 --> 00:39:19,000
The Red Dwarf was going to be like my savior and fuck it was.

756
00:39:19,000 --> 00:39:20,000
Oh God.

757
00:39:20,000 --> 00:39:23,000
I watched it on my lunch breaks today, both episodes.

758
00:39:23,000 --> 00:39:25,000
Oh God, that's so good.

759
00:39:25,000 --> 00:39:26,000
I love Red Dwarf. It's so funny.

760
00:39:26,000 --> 00:39:31,000
For those of you that don't know who or what Red Dwarf is, which I'd find very hard to believe,

761
00:39:31,000 --> 00:39:35,000
if you didn't, but possibly if you aren't a UK person.

762
00:39:35,000 --> 00:39:38,000
I know the US did get a version of Red Dwarf.

763
00:39:38,000 --> 00:39:42,000
They tried to remake it with US ads and it was an absolute abject failure.

764
00:39:42,000 --> 00:39:45,000
Red Dwarf is a 1988 BBC TV show.

765
00:39:45,000 --> 00:39:51,000
It's a sci-fi comedy about the last man in the human race, basically.

766
00:39:51,000 --> 00:39:55,000
And the stories that follow after that.

767
00:39:55,000 --> 00:39:57,000
Interestingly, I'm just looking at IMDB.

768
00:39:57,000 --> 00:39:59,000
I've got to stop saying interestingly all the fucking time.

769
00:39:59,000 --> 00:40:00,000
I haven't noticed.

770
00:40:00,000 --> 00:40:01,000
I do.

771
00:40:01,000 --> 00:40:03,000
Artificial Intelligence Dark Comedy.

772
00:40:03,000 --> 00:40:05,000
High Concept Comedy.

773
00:40:05,000 --> 00:40:07,000
High Concept?

774
00:40:07,000 --> 00:40:08,000
Yeah.

775
00:40:08,000 --> 00:40:09,000
Interesting.

776
00:40:09,000 --> 00:40:12,000
Yes, sitcom, slapstick, space sci-fi, comedy, sci-fi.

777
00:40:12,000 --> 00:40:13,000
Those are great.

778
00:40:13,000 --> 00:40:16,000
High Concept Comedy.

779
00:40:16,000 --> 00:40:17,000
No.

780
00:40:17,000 --> 00:40:19,000
No, not really.

781
00:40:19,000 --> 00:40:22,000
There's a man pretending to be a humanoid cat.

782
00:40:22,000 --> 00:40:23,000
High Concept.

783
00:40:23,000 --> 00:40:27,000
Yeah, there's a robot with a Hoover attachment for a cock.

784
00:40:27,000 --> 00:40:28,000
High Concept.

785
00:40:28,000 --> 00:40:31,000
Only from season two.

786
00:40:31,000 --> 00:40:34,000
Oh yeah, because it's a different actor, isn't it, Crichton?

787
00:40:34,000 --> 00:40:39,000
The very first one's different and then yeah, it comes back as What's His Face?

788
00:40:39,000 --> 00:40:40,000
Who?

789
00:40:40,000 --> 00:40:41,000
From Scrapheap Challenge.

790
00:40:41,000 --> 00:40:42,000
Robert Llewellyn.

791
00:40:42,000 --> 00:40:44,000
Robert Llewellyn, that's the one.

792
00:40:44,000 --> 00:40:47,000
First of all, massive love for Red Dwarf.

793
00:40:47,000 --> 00:40:48,000
Maybe not the modern stuff.

794
00:40:48,000 --> 00:40:51,000
I haven't watched the super modern stuff.

795
00:40:51,000 --> 00:40:57,000
Series one through to about six are absolutely wonderful in my books.

796
00:40:57,000 --> 00:41:00,000
Season seven for me is when it starts to get a little bit ropey.

797
00:41:00,000 --> 00:41:02,000
That's when they lose Red Dwarf.

798
00:41:02,000 --> 00:41:09,000
Then we had the Made For Dave series, I think, where Red Dwarf comes back and they're imprisoned

799
00:41:09,000 --> 00:41:12,000
on Red Dwarf and that all gets sorted out.

800
00:41:12,000 --> 00:41:15,000
And then it's not terrible.

801
00:41:15,000 --> 00:41:17,000
It's just not the standard that the others were.

802
00:41:17,000 --> 00:41:22,000
And I've not seen any of the really, really new Red Dwarf because I just fear that they're

803
00:41:22,000 --> 00:41:25,000
just a bit like Top Gear.

804
00:41:25,000 --> 00:41:30,000
Old men trying to do something that should have died a while ago.

805
00:41:30,000 --> 00:41:31,000
Yeah.

806
00:41:31,000 --> 00:41:37,000
Because it's just not allowed to be the same or it won't do the same things that they used

807
00:41:37,000 --> 00:41:38,000
to.

808
00:41:38,000 --> 00:41:42,000
Yeah, I haven't watched the newer stuff either.

809
00:41:42,000 --> 00:41:44,000
I was on the iPlayer looking through it.

810
00:41:44,000 --> 00:41:48,000
There's fucking a lot of series there and they've got like an 80 odd minute special

811
00:41:48,000 --> 00:41:49,000
as well.

812
00:41:49,000 --> 00:41:50,000
Yeah.

813
00:41:50,000 --> 00:41:51,000
Not sure when that was.

814
00:41:51,000 --> 00:41:52,000
I think I have seen that.

815
00:41:52,000 --> 00:41:56,000
That's the one I think I bought on Amazon Prime because there was nowhere else to watch

816
00:41:56,000 --> 00:41:57,000
it after.

817
00:41:57,000 --> 00:42:01,000
They aired it on Dave and it's back to Earth.

818
00:42:01,000 --> 00:42:07,000
And that's where Craig Charles gets mistaken for his Coronation Street character, I think

819
00:42:07,000 --> 00:42:09,000
it is, or Emmerdale, whatever he's in.

820
00:42:09,000 --> 00:42:13,000
So he gets mistaken for that character at one point.

821
00:42:13,000 --> 00:42:14,000
All of this.

822
00:42:14,000 --> 00:42:15,000
It was a bit weird.

823
00:42:15,000 --> 00:42:16,000
It wasn't bad.

824
00:42:16,000 --> 00:42:20,000
It just wasn't the quality it should have been.

825
00:42:20,000 --> 00:42:24,000
That's only funny at that period in time.

826
00:42:24,000 --> 00:42:25,000
Yeah, exactly.

827
00:42:25,000 --> 00:42:26,000
Isn't it?

828
00:42:26,000 --> 00:42:28,000
That's not like that really dates it.

829
00:42:28,000 --> 00:42:30,000
But what would have been funnier?

830
00:42:30,000 --> 00:42:32,000
Aren't you the bloke from Robot Wars?

831
00:42:32,000 --> 00:42:34,000
Yeah, that would have been funnier.

832
00:42:34,000 --> 00:42:36,000
Yeah, that would be better to be fair.

833
00:42:36,000 --> 00:42:38,000
Because more people would know from that.

834
00:42:38,000 --> 00:42:43,000
But even if they didn't, Robot Wars was dated at that point anyway.

835
00:42:43,000 --> 00:42:49,000
So actually it's funny that he's being remembered from a really old show.

836
00:42:49,000 --> 00:42:52,000
And he's in a really, really, really old show.

837
00:42:52,000 --> 00:42:54,000
That would have worked better.

838
00:42:54,000 --> 00:42:58,000
Whereas he's being this current actor instead and a soap opera.

839
00:42:58,000 --> 00:43:00,000
For me, it just didn't gel.

840
00:43:00,000 --> 00:43:04,000
I think, yeah, if you think about it, like say someone in America who watched this, seems

841
00:43:04,000 --> 00:43:05,000
unlikely.

842
00:43:05,000 --> 00:43:08,000
But if they did, they had their own Robot Wars.

843
00:43:08,000 --> 00:43:11,000
So they'd get a little bit of a reference even though they wouldn't know who Craig Charles

844
00:43:11,000 --> 00:43:12,000
was.

845
00:43:12,000 --> 00:43:15,000
Whereas Emmerdale, they probably never heard of.

846
00:43:15,000 --> 00:43:16,000
If it's Emmerdale.

847
00:43:16,000 --> 00:43:17,000
I'm not sure.

848
00:43:17,000 --> 00:43:19,000
I think The Coronation Tree is one of those two, isn't it?

849
00:43:19,000 --> 00:43:21,000
Yeah, it's one of those two.

850
00:43:21,000 --> 00:43:29,000
I sent a text to you earlier, a voice note.

851
00:43:29,000 --> 00:43:30,000
You did.

852
00:43:30,000 --> 00:43:31,000
As we do.

853
00:43:31,000 --> 00:43:33,000
Do you know what I was on about?

854
00:43:33,000 --> 00:43:35,000
Vaguely, I'm pretty sure.

855
00:43:35,000 --> 00:43:38,000
So there's a joke in both of these.

856
00:43:38,000 --> 00:43:44,000
And I don't know if we just happened to be quite unlucky with the ones we chose.

857
00:43:44,000 --> 00:43:46,000
I think we chose two of the best episodes.

858
00:43:46,000 --> 00:43:47,000
I think we still are favourite.

859
00:43:47,000 --> 00:43:48,000
100% we did.

860
00:43:48,000 --> 00:43:52,000
But there are, there's two jokes about Jewish people.

861
00:43:52,000 --> 00:43:55,000
One about circumcisions in the polymorph one.

862
00:43:55,000 --> 00:44:00,000
And then one about, I didn't really actually get the joke, but it was about Jewish people

863
00:44:00,000 --> 00:44:01,000
and teeth.

864
00:44:01,000 --> 00:44:07,000
I'm not sure what the joke was, but it was, it was definitely an anti-Semitic joke.

865
00:44:07,000 --> 00:44:09,000
Both times made by the cat.

866
00:44:09,000 --> 00:44:11,000
Yes, that's true.

867
00:44:11,000 --> 00:44:16,000
Was that a comedy of the time that people did a lot of jokes about Jewish religion?

868
00:44:16,000 --> 00:44:18,000
Or is it just red dwarfed in it?

869
00:44:18,000 --> 00:44:21,000
Or did we just happen to fall upon two episodes?

870
00:44:21,000 --> 00:44:26,000
Because you don't, there was no other jokes about anything else outside of the show.

871
00:44:26,000 --> 00:44:29,000
I think you're thinking about it too much.

872
00:44:29,000 --> 00:44:40,000
And I think possibly this is the problem when you see so many warnings on things about this was created in X day and therefore it doesn't represent the current thoughts and trends of things.

873
00:44:40,000 --> 00:44:45,000
The polymorph episode, he basically says, this is a scalpel.

874
00:44:45,000 --> 00:44:47,000
He's like, yeah, well, it's all been sterilised.

875
00:44:47,000 --> 00:44:50,000
This could have been used for a Jewish procedure.

876
00:44:50,000 --> 00:44:52,000
Just talking about circumcision.

877
00:44:52,000 --> 00:44:54,000
I don't think there's anything negative.

878
00:44:54,000 --> 00:44:56,000
There's no negative connotation behind that.

879
00:44:56,000 --> 00:44:58,000
It's just a funny joke.

880
00:44:58,000 --> 00:45:00,000
I just noticed it.

881
00:45:00,000 --> 00:45:02,000
They could have said anything.

882
00:45:02,000 --> 00:45:04,000
But this is the point, isn't it?

883
00:45:04,000 --> 00:45:08,000
We didn't notice it back then because they just, that was the joke they landed on.

884
00:45:08,000 --> 00:45:13,000
The joke could have been, this could have been used to remove someone's appendix.

885
00:45:13,000 --> 00:45:21,000
This could have been used to do a tummy tuck on someone.

886
00:45:21,000 --> 00:45:23,000
So it could have been anything.

887
00:45:23,000 --> 00:45:28,000
But I think the thing is, the funny thing is, you're talking about a cock.

888
00:45:28,000 --> 00:45:30,000
You're talking about a cock.

889
00:45:30,000 --> 00:45:34,000
So what procedures are there that revolve around that and that?

890
00:45:34,000 --> 00:45:36,000
Circumcision comes around.

891
00:45:36,000 --> 00:45:42,000
So I don't necessarily think that was aimed at a Jewish kind of thing.

892
00:45:42,000 --> 00:45:48,000
As for the back to reality one, I'm trying to actually remember what the exact quote is.

893
00:45:48,000 --> 00:45:55,000
I know that they regularly make fun of, I know, again, polymorph.

894
00:45:55,000 --> 00:45:59,000
Don't fuck around with, well, not don't fuck around with, they don't use that sort of language.

895
00:45:59,000 --> 00:46:03,000
But don't mess around with something that's got more teeth than the Osmond family.

896
00:46:03,000 --> 00:46:05,000
It's a brilliant line.

897
00:46:05,000 --> 00:46:07,000
But that's all that's stuck in my head now.

898
00:46:07,000 --> 00:46:09,000
I cannot think of the back to reality line.

899
00:46:09,000 --> 00:46:21,000
So it's when they're looking, they're out of the VR and they are sat there figuring out who they are with their suitcases.

900
00:46:21,000 --> 00:46:22,000
Dwayne Dibbler.

901
00:46:22,000 --> 00:46:24,000
I don't want to be Dwayne Dibbler.

902
00:46:24,000 --> 00:46:26,000
You've got to do it with your teeth out as well.

903
00:46:26,000 --> 00:46:28,000
That's how you do the voice.

904
00:46:28,000 --> 00:46:33,000
And it is Dwayne Dibbler's there and he's like looking through his bag.

905
00:46:33,000 --> 00:46:38,000
At what clothes he's going to be given, like Craig Charles was handing the bag or something.

906
00:46:38,000 --> 00:46:41,000
It's that moment and he just says something that's...

907
00:46:41,000 --> 00:46:43,000
So I've got what the hell happened to my teeth?

908
00:46:43,000 --> 00:46:46,000
I could open beer bottles with my overbite.

909
00:46:46,000 --> 00:46:51,000
No, no, I don't want to be Dwayne Dibbler.

910
00:46:51,000 --> 00:46:55,000
We could all put our heads together and the bullet could go down the line.

911
00:46:55,000 --> 00:46:58,000
Brilliant, brilliant line on that one.

912
00:46:58,000 --> 00:47:01,000
Of his price, it's designed to be quotes.

913
00:47:01,000 --> 00:47:03,000
Right, OK, so do you mean...

914
00:47:03,000 --> 00:47:09,000
So this is really me, a no-style gimbal with the teeth the Druids could use as a place for worship.

915
00:47:09,000 --> 00:47:13,000
Oh, he says Druids. I thought he says Jewish.

916
00:47:13,000 --> 00:47:15,000
No, he says Druids because he's talking about them.

917
00:47:15,000 --> 00:47:17,000
That's why I didn't get the joke.

918
00:47:17,000 --> 00:47:18,000
Stonehenge.

919
00:47:18,000 --> 00:47:22,000
Oh, I'm so... let's just take back everything I've said then.

920
00:47:22,000 --> 00:47:27,000
So what we now realise is Rob is anti-Semitic because he hears Jewish everywhere.

921
00:47:27,000 --> 00:47:29,000
Guys, I'm the problem.

922
00:47:29,000 --> 00:47:33,000
It's me, I'm the problem, of course.

923
00:47:33,000 --> 00:47:37,000
Everyone's been telling me all these years I'm the problem and now I've finally realised.

924
00:47:37,000 --> 00:47:40,000
No, but it's so easy to overhear something than overthink it.

925
00:47:40,000 --> 00:47:44,000
And I think that is part of the conditioning that's sort of been happening to all of us

926
00:47:44,000 --> 00:47:49,000
because you've got to be so careful with what you say now in case you do upset someone.

927
00:47:49,000 --> 00:47:54,000
Yeah, but I didn't then go on fucking X and start ranting and raving and saying that

928
00:47:54,000 --> 00:47:59,000
Red Dwarf is anti-Semitic propaganda and that they're all fucking Nazis.

929
00:47:59,000 --> 00:48:01,000
That's the difference.

930
00:48:01,000 --> 00:48:04,000
That is the difference, absolutely it is.

931
00:48:04,000 --> 00:48:08,000
But you can understand why people start to err about things they hear,

932
00:48:08,000 --> 00:48:11,000
especially if it's easily misheard.

933
00:48:11,000 --> 00:48:15,000
I can see where you're coming from because especially as he's thinking like this with his teeth out.

934
00:48:15,000 --> 00:48:16,000
Oh, it sounded like Jewish.

935
00:48:16,000 --> 00:48:18,000
Yeah, I can understand that.

936
00:48:18,000 --> 00:48:27,000
I think if I wouldn't have thought anything about it if I hadn't just watched the other episode.

937
00:48:27,000 --> 00:48:31,000
Because when I watched the other one and heard the joke,

938
00:48:31,000 --> 00:48:35,000
it's funny because it's cutting someone's cock off and I thought nothing of it.

939
00:48:35,000 --> 00:48:39,000
It was then because I then thought I heard it in the second one, I thought, hang on,

940
00:48:39,000 --> 00:48:42,000
two episodes, two Jew jokes.

941
00:48:42,000 --> 00:48:44,000
That's a coincidence.

942
00:48:44,000 --> 00:48:47,000
But let's move on from that.

943
00:48:47,000 --> 00:48:48,000
What do you want to do first?

944
00:48:48,000 --> 00:48:49,000
Do you want to talk about?

945
00:48:49,000 --> 00:48:50,000
I watched Polymorph first.

946
00:48:50,000 --> 00:48:53,000
Well, should we talk about the show first or should we just talk about the episodes?

947
00:48:53,000 --> 00:48:56,000
I just talk about the episodes that we watched, what we like about them

948
00:48:56,000 --> 00:48:58,000
and the show in general really doesn't have to be anything.

949
00:48:58,000 --> 00:49:04,000
So Polymorph season three episode five, I want to say.

950
00:49:04,000 --> 00:49:07,000
It was three, three.

951
00:49:07,000 --> 00:49:08,000
Three, three, sorry.

952
00:49:08,000 --> 00:49:09,000
Right.

953
00:49:09,000 --> 00:49:13,000
So it's one of my all time favourite shows.

954
00:49:13,000 --> 00:49:16,000
Now, Red Dwarf, I grew up watching.

955
00:49:16,000 --> 00:49:20,000
I wasn't quite sure mum should have let me watch these, but I did.

956
00:49:20,000 --> 00:49:23,000
Now, season three is 1989.

957
00:49:23,000 --> 00:49:26,000
It was released 28th of November according to IMDB.

958
00:49:26,000 --> 00:49:28,000
So I wouldn't have watched it the first time around.

959
00:49:28,000 --> 00:49:30,000
I would have been five years old.

960
00:49:30,000 --> 00:49:32,000
So I was watching it early 90s.

961
00:49:32,000 --> 00:49:35,000
And I would have said about 93, 94.

962
00:49:35,000 --> 00:49:38,000
So I was coming outside at 10 years old.

963
00:49:38,000 --> 00:49:44,000
And these are just some of my favourite memories of my oldest brother having these on VHS

964
00:49:44,000 --> 00:49:49,000
and stealing from the room, putting them downstairs and just watching those three episodes.

965
00:49:49,000 --> 00:49:52,000
I think I actually managed to get four episodes on the tape actually.

966
00:49:52,000 --> 00:49:57,000
Four episodes or three episodes on the cassette and just watching them back to back.

967
00:49:57,000 --> 00:50:01,000
And they were just, just the comedy was absolutely me.

968
00:50:01,000 --> 00:50:10,000
And it's interesting in comparison to a lot of the comedies, some earlier than this, granted,

969
00:50:10,000 --> 00:50:12,000
how well this stands up still for me.

970
00:50:12,000 --> 00:50:16,000
So Red Dwarf, I've gone back and I've watched and I love it.

971
00:50:16,000 --> 00:50:19,000
And I laughed and I couldn't take my eyes off it.

972
00:50:19,000 --> 00:50:21,000
And I enjoyed it.

973
00:50:21,000 --> 00:50:25,000
Let me, and I know this is personal opinion.

974
00:50:25,000 --> 00:50:31,000
Growing up, I loved Dad's Army and I loved 40s Hours.

975
00:50:31,000 --> 00:50:34,000
I cannot watch either of them anymore.

976
00:50:34,000 --> 00:50:40,000
Dad's Army, I want to literally stab Corporal Jones in the face with his bayonet.

977
00:50:40,000 --> 00:50:46,000
I know they don't fucking like it up and mate, and I'm going to shove this so far up you that you won't like it up you.

978
00:50:46,000 --> 00:50:52,000
As a kid, I don't think I realised how annoying a cunting character he is.

979
00:50:52,000 --> 00:50:56,000
But it's too much for me.

980
00:50:56,000 --> 00:50:58,000
I cannot watch it anymore.

981
00:50:58,000 --> 00:51:00,000
And same with 40s Hours.

982
00:51:00,000 --> 00:51:03,000
I get very much, as a kid, I loved it.

983
00:51:03,000 --> 00:51:05,000
I thought it was funny.

984
00:51:05,000 --> 00:51:07,000
I didn't get the cringe factor that was there.

985
00:51:07,000 --> 00:51:13,000
And very much like The Office, it's too close to the bone for me and I get too cringey.

986
00:51:13,000 --> 00:51:16,000
Oh my God, I can't believe he's doing this sort of thing.

987
00:51:16,000 --> 00:51:18,000
That puts me off wanting to watch it.

988
00:51:18,000 --> 00:51:21,000
Whereas Red Dwarf doesn't have any of that.

989
00:51:21,000 --> 00:51:26,000
I could watch it back then, I can watch it now, and I love it just the same.

990
00:51:26,000 --> 00:51:28,000
I watched it when I was younger.

991
00:51:28,000 --> 00:51:32,000
And I think my dad was just like, it's just stupid, whatever.

992
00:51:32,000 --> 00:51:35,000
It's just one of those things, just let me watch.

993
00:51:35,000 --> 00:51:38,000
Yeah, I mean the worst word you can hear from that is smeg.

994
00:51:38,000 --> 00:51:41,000
Yeah, that's why I can't look at those fridges.

995
00:51:41,000 --> 00:51:42,000
Yes!

996
00:51:42,000 --> 00:51:47,000
Yeah, it's that exact thing, whenever I see them, it just has something that's funny.

997
00:51:47,000 --> 00:51:55,000
It's a lot of innocence, but a lot of...

998
00:51:55,000 --> 00:51:58,000
I think dark comedy is quite an apt word for it, actually.

999
00:51:58,000 --> 00:52:00,000
I think that suits it.

1000
00:52:00,000 --> 00:52:06,000
And coming into Polymorph, I mean it's quite obvious that they had a lot of fun with this.

1001
00:52:06,000 --> 00:52:12,000
More fun than some of the other episodes for the early series at least.

1002
00:52:12,000 --> 00:52:19,000
You've quite obviously got the alien references, the polymorph with an extending inner jaw.

1003
00:52:19,000 --> 00:52:26,000
Everything about it, being from Earth because they're trying to create the ultimate warrior creature thing.

1004
00:52:26,000 --> 00:52:31,000
All of the little alien references to it, but it's a beautiful model as well.

1005
00:52:31,000 --> 00:52:38,000
It might be badly green screen, it might be badly dubbed in, but it's a great looking fucking monster.

1006
00:52:38,000 --> 00:52:41,000
As they call it, the eight foot armour plated killing machine.

1007
00:52:41,000 --> 00:52:43,000
Yes.

1008
00:52:43,000 --> 00:52:48,000
But it just opens so nicely as well, so you've just got this floating pod.

1009
00:52:48,000 --> 00:52:51,000
And again, because it's a model, it just looks super good.

1010
00:52:51,000 --> 00:52:55,000
And this is like, yeah, extreme caution. Do not approach.

1011
00:52:55,000 --> 00:52:59,000
Everything about it was just really, really nice.

1012
00:52:59,000 --> 00:53:04,000
I enjoyed the microwave where he was just chucking all the ingredients in and pressing button.

1013
00:53:04,000 --> 00:53:09,000
And then suddenly he had a meal that come out of it. I like that.

1014
00:53:09,000 --> 00:53:15,000
Yeah. Did you notice it turns itself into a kebab on the plate?

1015
00:53:15,000 --> 00:53:21,000
Then they go out and then they come back in and Crichton walks in.

1016
00:53:21,000 --> 00:53:23,000
He's only got one kebab on the plate.

1017
00:53:23,000 --> 00:53:26,000
Because he's eating one. Because he's telling you how nice it tastes.

1018
00:53:26,000 --> 00:53:28,000
Has he eaten one? Is that the point of it?

1019
00:53:28,000 --> 00:53:34,000
He says that it tastes amazing. And I think the implication was he's eaten one and he's got one left.

1020
00:53:34,000 --> 00:53:40,000
Right. Okay. Because I just kind of gone for the idea that actually, you know what?

1021
00:53:40,000 --> 00:53:46,000
It's a mistake. They filmed it in a particular order and they hadn't put the second one on there.

1022
00:53:46,000 --> 00:53:51,000
Because obviously you needed the one that was not technically an animatronic.

1023
00:53:51,000 --> 00:53:53,000
Animatronic sausage kebab.

1024
00:53:53,000 --> 00:53:54,000
It looked like a turd.

1025
00:53:54,000 --> 00:53:58,000
It did look like a turd. It didn't look like anything like a kebab that I've ever seen.

1026
00:53:58,000 --> 00:54:02,000
Maybe a kofta, but even then crikey.

1027
00:54:02,000 --> 00:54:09,000
I do love the fact that he just throws everything in the microwave and then quite clearly someone has thrown something in it.

1028
00:54:09,000 --> 00:54:12,000
You almost see them put it there, don't you?

1029
00:54:12,000 --> 00:54:15,000
It's still bouncing from being put there.

1030
00:54:15,000 --> 00:54:18,000
And they haven't cleaned the microwave either. They just didn't fucking bother.

1031
00:54:18,000 --> 00:54:21,000
That's the wonderful thing. It's just done on the chip and it works.

1032
00:54:21,000 --> 00:54:22,000
It's funny.

1033
00:54:22,000 --> 00:54:26,000
Was it actually filmed in front of an audience? Because I thought I'd read somewhere that it was.

1034
00:54:26,000 --> 00:54:30,000
I believe it was. And well, the very top trivia point here.

1035
00:54:30,000 --> 00:54:39,000
The studio audience laughed so long during the scene in which the polymorph morphs into Lister's boxer shorts that Chris Barry had to wait several minutes to say his line.

1036
00:54:39,000 --> 00:54:44,000
It took more time than usual for the editors to put the scene together due to the long laughter.

1037
00:54:44,000 --> 00:54:49,000
So yeah, it looks like Robert Llewellyn is fucking him on the floor.

1038
00:54:49,000 --> 00:54:54,000
I guess it is nice. It's not canned laughter. I'm sure there is canned laughter.

1039
00:54:54,000 --> 00:54:58,000
Some of it probably is for airing.

1040
00:54:58,000 --> 00:55:00,000
Yeah.

1041
00:55:00,000 --> 00:55:06,000
How can you not laugh at the alphabetti spaghetti?

1042
00:55:06,000 --> 00:55:08,000
That's what he's talking about.

1043
00:55:08,000 --> 00:55:11,000
His mum's shagging Lister.

1044
00:55:11,000 --> 00:55:14,000
What can he do without spaghetti?

1045
00:55:14,000 --> 00:55:18,000
It's just absolutely brilliant.

1046
00:55:18,000 --> 00:55:21,000
Yeah.

1047
00:55:21,000 --> 00:55:35,000
It's just really hard to really talk about as an episode because to give the idea of the premise for people that haven't seen polymorph then, there's this rotating toxic waste pod, genetic waste pod thing.

1048
00:55:35,000 --> 00:55:47,000
Something's burst out of it and we basically see it, a little version of it again straight up out of Alien as if it's the chest burster going around and it can turn into anything.

1049
00:55:47,000 --> 00:55:55,000
We get that it turns up in the quarters, it sucks out Lister's fear.

1050
00:55:55,000 --> 00:55:57,000
It feeds on negative emotions.

1051
00:55:57,000 --> 00:56:05,000
It feeds on negative emotions. It steals Lister's fear. They then go around looking for it. It then sucks out.

1052
00:56:05,000 --> 00:56:06,000
Crichton's guilt.

1053
00:56:06,000 --> 00:56:09,000
Is it Crichton's guilt first? No, it's the cat first.

1054
00:56:09,000 --> 00:56:11,000
The cat's vanity.

1055
00:56:11,000 --> 00:56:18,000
Then it takes Crichton's fear, guilt, sorry, and then eventually it takes Rimmer's...

1056
00:56:18,000 --> 00:56:20,000
What is it in Rimmer?

1057
00:56:20,000 --> 00:56:21,000
It's anger.

1058
00:56:21,000 --> 00:56:22,000
It's anger.

1059
00:56:22,000 --> 00:56:23,000
It becomes that hippie.

1060
00:56:23,000 --> 00:56:29,000
Yeah, and they manage to still destroy it working as a team and then their emotions come back.

1061
00:56:29,000 --> 00:56:31,000
But that is the premise of the entire thing.

1062
00:56:31,000 --> 00:56:38,000
It's them versus this giant eight foot armor-plated alien and then you get the idea at the very end that there's a second one.

1063
00:56:38,000 --> 00:56:41,000
Yeah, the capsule spins round. It says times two written on the capsule.

1064
00:56:41,000 --> 00:56:43,000
And then you get two Lister's Warp.

1065
00:56:43,000 --> 00:56:44,000
Two Lister's Warp, yeah.

1066
00:56:44,000 --> 00:56:49,000
Just a nice little ending and it doesn't ever need to be referenced again, which they never do.

1067
00:56:49,000 --> 00:56:50,000
I mean there is a...

1068
00:56:50,000 --> 00:56:51,000
Polymorph two.

1069
00:56:51,000 --> 00:56:54,000
It's Polymorph two, but it's not strictly Polymorph.

1070
00:56:54,000 --> 00:56:59,000
And again, that kind of pissed me off when they did that because it's like...

1071
00:56:59,000 --> 00:57:05,000
You called it Polymorph two, but I think it's the emo hawk is the creature in it.

1072
00:57:05,000 --> 00:57:07,000
And it's like, hang on a moment.

1073
00:57:07,000 --> 00:57:11,000
The Polymorph episode was called Polymorph because that was what was created in the pod.

1074
00:57:11,000 --> 00:57:13,000
This is just an alien creature.

1075
00:57:13,000 --> 00:57:14,000
Don't call it Polymorph.

1076
00:57:14,000 --> 00:57:15,000
Just leave it alone.

1077
00:57:15,000 --> 00:57:17,000
It's not a sequel in any way.

1078
00:57:17,000 --> 00:57:19,000
So I've got some trivia for you, question for you.

1079
00:57:19,000 --> 00:57:20,000
Oh, go for it.

1080
00:57:20,000 --> 00:57:29,000
So when Rimmers had his anger taken out and he sat there doing the round table explaining everything

1081
00:57:29,000 --> 00:57:33,000
and he wants to create a team of people to...

1082
00:57:33,000 --> 00:57:35,000
Yes.

1083
00:57:35,000 --> 00:57:39,000
You know, when the signs don't work and the t-shirts don't work and all the other stuff.

1084
00:57:39,000 --> 00:57:44,000
Can you remember what the committee's called and what it's...

1085
00:57:44,000 --> 00:57:45,000
I know it spells clitoris.

1086
00:57:45,000 --> 00:57:47,000
It spells clitoris.

1087
00:57:47,000 --> 00:57:49,000
Would you like me to tell you what it is?

1088
00:57:49,000 --> 00:57:56,000
The committee for the liberation and integration of terrifying organisms and their rehabilitation into society.

1089
00:57:56,000 --> 00:57:57,000
That's it.

1090
00:57:57,000 --> 00:58:02,000
And the problem is that it abbreviates to clitoris.

1091
00:58:02,000 --> 00:58:05,000
It's just wonderful, isn't it?

1092
00:58:05,000 --> 00:58:08,000
The fact that they can say it so straight faced as well.

1093
00:58:08,000 --> 00:58:11,000
Well, he gets some really difficult lines.

1094
00:58:11,000 --> 00:58:13,000
He has to say that whole thing.

1095
00:58:13,000 --> 00:58:14,000
Yeah, 100%.

1096
00:58:14,000 --> 00:58:15,000
As an actor saying lines.

1097
00:58:15,000 --> 00:58:18,000
He has some difficult ones in that episode.

1098
00:58:18,000 --> 00:58:19,000
Right, so hang on.

1099
00:58:19,000 --> 00:58:20,000
So just looking up here.

1100
00:58:20,000 --> 00:58:22,000
So I was right.

1101
00:58:22,000 --> 00:58:28,000
It's called Emohawk Polymorph 2, fourth episode of season six.

1102
00:58:28,000 --> 00:58:37,000
And it's when they basically, Lister ends up marrying a gelf leader tribe's daughter.

1103
00:58:37,000 --> 00:58:38,000
Oh, yeah, I know the episode.

1104
00:58:38,000 --> 00:58:39,000
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

1105
00:58:39,000 --> 00:58:40,000
And it's got here.

1106
00:58:40,000 --> 00:58:41,000
Oh, yeah, and she changes.

1107
00:58:41,000 --> 00:58:45,000
Angered at their actions, upsetting his daughter.

1108
00:58:45,000 --> 00:58:48,000
The chief sends his pets a domesticated polymorph.

1109
00:58:48,000 --> 00:58:49,000
And it's like, no.

1110
00:58:49,000 --> 00:58:51,000
Oh, yeah, I remember that one.

1111
00:58:51,000 --> 00:58:52,000
The whole point of polymorph was...

1112
00:58:52,000 --> 00:58:53,000
See, they're snogging it.

1113
00:58:53,000 --> 00:58:54,000
Yes, that is it.

1114
00:58:54,000 --> 00:58:58,000
It annoys me because it was a genetic...

1115
00:58:58,000 --> 00:59:00,000
I mean, obviously, where did we get the...

1116
00:59:00,000 --> 00:59:02,000
Anyway, that doesn't matter.

1117
00:59:02,000 --> 00:59:03,000
Doesn't matter.

1118
00:59:03,000 --> 00:59:06,000
Season six is where I think it does slowly start to go downhill anyway.

1119
00:59:06,000 --> 00:59:08,000
So we'll talk about that later.

1120
00:59:08,000 --> 00:59:11,000
But any other trivia questions you want to ask me?

1121
00:59:11,000 --> 00:59:12,000
No, that was the only one.

1122
00:59:12,000 --> 00:59:16,000
No, actually, OK, Kryton's cock attachment.

1123
00:59:16,000 --> 00:59:17,000
Yeah.

1124
00:59:17,000 --> 00:59:19,000
Can you remember what it can be used as?

1125
00:59:19,000 --> 00:59:20,000
A whisk.

1126
00:59:20,000 --> 00:59:22,000
That's an egg whisk, yeah.

1127
00:59:22,000 --> 00:59:23,000
Vacuum cleaner.

1128
00:59:23,000 --> 00:59:24,000
Yep.

1129
00:59:24,000 --> 00:59:25,000
Oh.

1130
00:59:25,000 --> 00:59:28,000
Three others he mentions, specifically mentions, yeah.

1131
00:59:28,000 --> 00:59:29,000
Oh, shit.

1132
00:59:29,000 --> 00:59:32,000
I know he said it's a power attachment.

1133
00:59:32,000 --> 00:59:33,000
It's...

1134
00:59:33,000 --> 00:59:36,000
No, go on, tell me.

1135
00:59:36,000 --> 00:59:37,000
A buzz saw.

1136
00:59:37,000 --> 00:59:38,000
Yeah.

1137
00:59:38,000 --> 00:59:39,000
Power drill.

1138
00:59:39,000 --> 00:59:40,000
Oh, it was a power drill.

1139
00:59:40,000 --> 00:59:41,000
A hedge trimmer.

1140
00:59:41,000 --> 00:59:42,000
Yeah.

1141
00:59:42,000 --> 00:59:47,000
I like just like no-one wants to have the omelettes he makes with his egg whisk.

1142
00:59:47,000 --> 00:59:48,000
Yeah.

1143
00:59:48,000 --> 00:59:52,000
Would be quite funny if he said, well, I like a hair trimmer.

1144
00:59:52,000 --> 00:59:53,000
Yeah.

1145
00:59:53,000 --> 00:59:55,000
Imagine standing behind you just going...

1146
00:59:55,000 --> 00:59:58,000
And he calls it his groinal socket.

1147
00:59:58,000 --> 01:00:00,000
Groinal socket, yes.

1148
01:00:00,000 --> 01:00:02,000
And you get reference to that when...

1149
01:00:02,000 --> 01:00:05,000
I think it's a later season.

1150
01:00:05,000 --> 01:00:09,000
I think it's called human, and it's the one where they come across the...

1151
01:00:09,000 --> 01:00:15,000
Again, it's a human spaceship and it's got a genetic manipulator on board.

1152
01:00:15,000 --> 01:00:21,000
And it turns Crichton human and it creates a curry monster.

1153
01:00:21,000 --> 01:00:22,000
Curry monster.

1154
01:00:22,000 --> 01:00:28,000
And Lister ends up as a half human, half Robocop, but he's really, really short.

1155
01:00:28,000 --> 01:00:31,000
He's really, really tiny, very funny episode.

1156
01:00:31,000 --> 01:00:33,000
And he's going...

1157
01:00:33,000 --> 01:00:35,000
He's saying, is this normal?

1158
01:00:35,000 --> 01:00:39,000
And he's looking through an appliance and he says...

1159
01:00:39,000 --> 01:00:43,000
He shows him a double Polaroid of a giant goth face.

1160
01:00:43,000 --> 01:00:44,000
That's the joke to it.

1161
01:00:44,000 --> 01:00:46,000
That's the entire joke.

1162
01:00:46,000 --> 01:00:47,000
Is this normal?

1163
01:00:47,000 --> 01:00:57,000
No, it's not normal looking at an appliance magazine and you're getting a double Polaroid.

1164
01:00:57,000 --> 01:01:00,000
But yeah, anyway, Polymorph, that's a good one.

1165
01:01:00,000 --> 01:01:03,000
It is a really good one.

1166
01:01:03,000 --> 01:01:05,000
I wouldn't suggest it was one that you start with.

1167
01:01:05,000 --> 01:01:06,000
No.

1168
01:01:06,000 --> 01:01:10,000
I would actually say with Red Dwarf, it is best just to watch it in order.

1169
01:01:10,000 --> 01:01:14,000
The only ongoing story is that he's the last human.

1170
01:01:14,000 --> 01:01:21,000
But if you want the canon and the reason why they're there, absolutely watch the first season.

1171
01:01:21,000 --> 01:01:23,000
Watch the first six episodes.

1172
01:01:23,000 --> 01:01:28,000
Then any of the season afterwards, between let's say two, three, four, five, and six,

1173
01:01:28,000 --> 01:01:31,000
it doesn't matter what order you watch them in really in my opinion,

1174
01:01:31,000 --> 01:01:35,000
because none of those stories affect each other.

1175
01:01:35,000 --> 01:01:38,000
In season one, it's very much serial.

1176
01:01:38,000 --> 01:01:40,000
You've got to follow it in the right order.

1177
01:01:40,000 --> 01:01:43,000
Maybe even season two to an extent.

1178
01:01:43,000 --> 01:01:47,000
But the rest of them, you can watch them in any order and you'll still have fun with them.

1179
01:01:47,000 --> 01:01:54,000
But that first season at least gives you the canon, the history, why and what has happened to get to this point.

1180
01:01:54,000 --> 01:01:56,000
And yeah, explains the characters a bit more.

1181
01:01:56,000 --> 01:01:58,000
Exactly.

1182
01:01:58,000 --> 01:02:04,000
So the next one was season five, episode six, Back to Reality.

1183
01:02:04,000 --> 01:02:06,000
Back to life.

1184
01:02:06,000 --> 01:02:09,000
No, sorry, that's a no, that's something else.

1185
01:02:09,000 --> 01:02:11,000
I was thinking that in my head too.

1186
01:02:11,000 --> 01:02:15,000
So this one is they've, I don't think explain why they're there,

1187
01:02:15,000 --> 01:02:21,000
but they're in Starbuck and they've landed on the floor of this ocean planet,

1188
01:02:21,000 --> 01:02:25,000
investigating this crashed ship or something.

1189
01:02:25,000 --> 01:02:28,000
And everyone in there has committed suicide.

1190
01:02:28,000 --> 01:02:37,000
Yeah, so season five is the start of when we kind of move away from,

1191
01:02:37,000 --> 01:02:40,000
oh sorry, the episode was called DNA, not human.

1192
01:02:40,000 --> 01:02:42,000
No, that's the next season.

1193
01:02:42,000 --> 01:02:48,000
So season five is when it starts more and more that they are basing it off Red Dwarf

1194
01:02:48,000 --> 01:02:52,000
and they are literally almost every episode going somewhere different.

1195
01:02:52,000 --> 01:02:56,000
So looking here, you've got episode one of season five was Hollow Ship.

1196
01:02:56,000 --> 01:03:02,000
So it's pretty much all around Starbuck and Rimmer being on the Hollow Ship.

1197
01:03:02,000 --> 01:03:04,000
Then you've got the episode called The Inquisitor,

1198
01:03:04,000 --> 01:03:07,000
which is where they go to the prison.

1199
01:03:07,000 --> 01:03:13,000
They go to the prison and they get decided whether or not they should be,

1200
01:03:13,000 --> 01:03:16,000
oh actually no, is that the one?

1201
01:03:16,000 --> 01:03:21,000
I thought very much that Inquisitor one was one where they end up on the prison ship.

1202
01:03:21,000 --> 01:03:30,000
And they've got, I'm a bit lost now.

1203
01:03:30,000 --> 01:03:32,000
I'll have to read up on that one again.

1204
01:03:32,000 --> 01:03:36,000
But then Terraform, they're on the planet where Kryton's been broken into pieces

1205
01:03:36,000 --> 01:03:41,000
and Lista fixes him and it's all based on Rimmer's emotions again,

1206
01:03:41,000 --> 01:03:45,000
that the planet is based on Rimmer's horrible part of his brain.

1207
01:03:45,000 --> 01:03:47,000
You've got Quarantine, which is mainly Red Dwarf,

1208
01:03:47,000 --> 01:03:51,000
but they start off on the planet looking for the Doctor and the virus.

1209
01:03:51,000 --> 01:03:54,000
And it almost kind of comes across that this season they're exploring

1210
01:03:54,000 --> 01:03:57,000
and looking for something.

1211
01:03:57,000 --> 01:03:59,000
And in fact then we get to season five, Demons and Angels,

1212
01:03:59,000 --> 01:04:03,000
and that's the one where they split Red Dwarf into three

1213
01:04:03,000 --> 01:04:06,000
and they've got to work out which is the right Red Dwarf.

1214
01:04:06,000 --> 01:04:08,000
They've got the white Red Dwarf where everything is perfect,

1215
01:04:08,000 --> 01:04:12,000
the Red Dwarf where everything is absolutely rotten,

1216
01:04:12,000 --> 01:04:16,000
because they're trying to, that was it, they're trying to extend their food supply.

1217
01:04:16,000 --> 01:04:18,000
They're trying to clone the strawberries, if I remember right.

1218
01:04:18,000 --> 01:04:21,000
And then you get back to reality and you're right,

1219
01:04:21,000 --> 01:04:25,000
no explanation why, but again they're searching for something.

1220
01:04:25,000 --> 01:04:30,000
They've come across another ship that's at the bottom of an ocean

1221
01:04:30,000 --> 01:04:34,000
and it suddenly becomes that they've been playing a game.

1222
01:04:34,000 --> 01:04:38,000
Yeah, and there's a haddock that's committed suicide by closing his gills.

1223
01:04:38,000 --> 01:04:42,000
That again is just stupid, but really, really funny.

1224
01:04:42,000 --> 01:04:46,000
Yeah, and then they get them, they kind of, while they're in their star bug,

1225
01:04:46,000 --> 01:04:49,000
a giant octopus or something is coming to the despair squid.

1226
01:04:49,000 --> 01:04:51,000
The despair squid, that's it.

1227
01:04:51,000 --> 01:04:55,000
And then yeah, then suddenly they wake up and actually it's all been virtual reality

1228
01:04:55,000 --> 01:05:01,000
and they are these other people, they've been in there for four years.

1229
01:05:01,000 --> 01:05:03,000
Can you remember what everyone's name is?

1230
01:05:03,000 --> 01:05:05,000
No.

1231
01:05:05,000 --> 01:05:06,000
Okay, so you've got Dwayne Dibley.

1232
01:05:06,000 --> 01:05:08,000
You've got Dwayne Dibley, yeah.

1233
01:05:08,000 --> 01:05:10,000
Crichton is called Jack Bullitt.

1234
01:05:10,000 --> 01:05:13,000
Jack Bullitt is the part of the cyber, which that's traffic, isn't it?

1235
01:05:13,000 --> 01:05:16,000
Yeah, detective in the cybernautic division.

1236
01:05:16,000 --> 01:05:19,000
Cybernautic division, which turns out to be traffic.

1237
01:05:19,000 --> 01:05:20,000
Which is just traffic.

1238
01:05:20,000 --> 01:05:22,000
And you've got Billy Doyle.

1239
01:05:22,000 --> 01:05:23,000
Yes.

1240
01:05:23,000 --> 01:05:26,000
And you've got Sebastian Doyle.

1241
01:05:26,000 --> 01:05:29,000
That's it, Sebastian's listed and he's the rich one.

1242
01:05:29,000 --> 01:05:32,000
And yeah, Rimmer's one, his poor brother.

1243
01:05:32,000 --> 01:05:36,000
Sebastian Doyle, he's a section chief of CGI,

1244
01:05:36,000 --> 01:05:40,000
chief of the Ministry of Alteration, the voter colonel.

1245
01:05:40,000 --> 01:05:44,000
There you go, that was his full title.

1246
01:05:44,000 --> 01:05:45,000
Yes, that was it.

1247
01:05:45,000 --> 01:05:49,000
Basically the head man from 1984, basically.

1248
01:05:49,000 --> 01:05:51,000
Yeah, basically.

1249
01:05:51,000 --> 01:05:55,000
It's kind of a...

1250
01:05:55,000 --> 01:05:56,000
Sorry, my...

1251
01:05:56,000 --> 01:05:58,000
You're just going to watch something.

1252
01:05:58,000 --> 01:06:00,000
Yeah, sorry.

1253
01:06:00,000 --> 01:06:02,000
That probably won't get picked up, to be fair.

1254
01:06:02,000 --> 01:06:03,000
It won't do, it won't do.

1255
01:06:03,000 --> 01:06:06,000
I'm still trying to find out what that Billy Prison episode is now.

1256
01:06:06,000 --> 01:06:08,000
I don't know which series it is.

1257
01:06:08,000 --> 01:06:09,000
It's really not...

1258
01:06:09,000 --> 01:06:11,000
Oh, it's Justice and it's season four.

1259
01:06:11,000 --> 01:06:12,000
There you go, that's it.

1260
01:06:12,000 --> 01:06:15,000
So ignore me a little bit there.

1261
01:06:15,000 --> 01:06:17,000
So the Inquisitor is the one where you've got the bloke

1262
01:06:17,000 --> 01:06:19,000
with the giant kind of very cool skull helmet on.

1263
01:06:19,000 --> 01:06:22,000
And he goes around removing you from history

1264
01:06:22,000 --> 01:06:25,000
if he decides that you're just not worthwhile.

1265
01:06:25,000 --> 01:06:29,000
So we get a cameo in this from Timothy Spall,

1266
01:06:29,000 --> 01:06:32,000
who is a very big actor.

1267
01:06:32,000 --> 01:06:35,000
Alveda Saint-Pet and a lot since...

1268
01:06:35,000 --> 01:06:37,000
Harry Potter.

1269
01:06:37,000 --> 01:06:39,000
Harry Potter.

1270
01:06:39,000 --> 01:06:41,000
And lots of other things.

1271
01:06:41,000 --> 01:06:43,000
He's in loads of stuff.

1272
01:06:43,000 --> 01:06:46,000
And he is the guy, he's like the engineer in the VR room, isn't it?

1273
01:06:46,000 --> 01:06:48,000
He's basically just telling them all the things

1274
01:06:48,000 --> 01:06:50,000
that they should have been doing in the Red Dwarf game.

1275
01:06:50,000 --> 01:06:52,000
How long did it take you to work out Rimmer then?

1276
01:06:52,000 --> 01:06:54,000
Oh, I had him straight away.

1277
01:06:54,000 --> 01:06:56,000
Did you?

1278
01:06:56,000 --> 01:06:59,000
It's just like, no, oh shit.

1279
01:06:59,000 --> 01:07:01,000
And yeah, you realise, I love it as well.

1280
01:07:01,000 --> 01:07:04,000
So for anyone that's ever played a ZX Spectrum game

1281
01:07:04,000 --> 01:07:07,000
or Commodore 64 version of The Hobbit,

1282
01:07:07,000 --> 01:07:10,000
at the end of the game, they've got down in the bottom left-hand corner,

1283
01:07:10,000 --> 01:07:13,000
it's like score 4%.

1284
01:07:13,000 --> 01:07:15,000
And at the end of The Hobbit, I could never get past it.

1285
01:07:15,000 --> 01:07:18,000
It's like, you've completed X percent of this adventure.

1286
01:07:18,000 --> 01:07:20,000
It's like, oh, that's such a nice little touch.

1287
01:07:20,000 --> 01:07:23,000
But the fact that they've been playing it for four years

1288
01:07:23,000 --> 01:07:25,000
and they've managed to complete 4%.

1289
01:07:25,000 --> 01:07:28,000
Yeah, it's a really nice touch.

1290
01:07:28,000 --> 01:07:32,000
And one of my actual favourite bits of the episode is right at the end

1291
01:07:32,000 --> 01:07:37,000
where you see them hallucinating on Starbuck.

1292
01:07:37,000 --> 01:07:39,000
Of the car scene.

1293
01:07:39,000 --> 01:07:41,000
And the car scene, you actually see Lister nearly laugh.

1294
01:07:41,000 --> 01:07:43,000
Right at the beginning.

1295
01:07:43,000 --> 01:07:46,000
It looks like Craig Charles is laughing

1296
01:07:46,000 --> 01:07:49,000
and they kind of, he quickly moves on to the next bit.

1297
01:07:49,000 --> 01:07:52,000
I do wonder, there's also a bit when they first set off in the car

1298
01:07:52,000 --> 01:07:54,000
and he throws himself back and rocks,

1299
01:07:54,000 --> 01:07:57,000
it almost looks like he's gone too far.

1300
01:07:57,000 --> 01:07:59,000
Yeah, that's the bit I'm talking about.

1301
01:07:59,000 --> 01:08:01,000
I think that's the bit that makes him laugh

1302
01:08:01,000 --> 01:08:03,000
because he then tilts himself back

1303
01:08:03,000 --> 01:08:05,000
and they change to a different angle.

1304
01:08:05,000 --> 01:08:09,000
And it's like, yeah, they go back to actually what's going on in reality.

1305
01:08:09,000 --> 01:08:12,000
But I do wonder if he just broke out laughing.

1306
01:08:12,000 --> 01:08:17,000
Whenever you see those compilation shows on Channel 4,

1307
01:08:17,000 --> 01:08:23,000
Let It Night going, oh, 1995, people were watching this,

1308
01:08:23,000 --> 01:08:25,000
number 10 is this, number 8 and 9 is this.

1309
01:08:25,000 --> 01:08:27,000
And Red Dwarf will come on to one of these things.

1310
01:08:27,000 --> 01:08:34,000
They always show that scene of them pretending to drive the car and stuff.

1311
01:08:34,000 --> 01:08:36,000
I don't know why, it just seems like a really played,

1312
01:08:36,000 --> 01:08:40,000
like replayed scene when people talk about Red Dwarf.

1313
01:08:40,000 --> 01:08:43,000
Now, very interestingly, Polymorph scored 8.8 on user reviews.

1314
01:08:43,000 --> 01:08:45,000
You're saying interesting again.

1315
01:08:45,000 --> 01:08:48,000
I'm the judge of whether you are being interesting or not.

1316
01:08:48,000 --> 01:08:51,000
Right, Polymorph, he isn't.

1317
01:08:51,000 --> 01:08:54,000
User reviews 8.8, this gets a 9.3.

1318
01:08:54,000 --> 01:08:57,000
Nice. It is a great episode.

1319
01:08:57,000 --> 01:08:59,000
It is a great episode.

1320
01:08:59,000 --> 01:09:03,000
It's also the final episode that Hattie Hadred as Holly appears.

1321
01:09:03,000 --> 01:09:05,000
Lost.

1322
01:09:05,000 --> 01:09:11,000
Yep, apparently not until then she came back to series 7.

1323
01:09:11,000 --> 01:09:14,000
And I'm just reading the facts here.

1324
01:09:14,000 --> 01:09:17,000
Doug Naylor expressed guilt over the fact that her role was often

1325
01:09:17,000 --> 01:09:19,000
a little more than a couple of lines.

1326
01:09:19,000 --> 01:09:24,000
So, yeah, disappeared off until season 7.

1327
01:09:24,000 --> 01:09:27,000
But that's the weird bit because they get Holly back at one point

1328
01:09:27,000 --> 01:09:32,000
in either the next season and it's, I can't think of his name now.

1329
01:09:32,000 --> 01:09:35,000
You get the original Holly back.

1330
01:09:35,000 --> 01:09:42,000
So, yeah, it's a bit sad because I like both Hollies.

1331
01:09:42,000 --> 01:09:45,000
I don't know which one I would say I prefer.

1332
01:09:45,000 --> 01:09:48,000
I think I do prefer the original male Holly.

1333
01:09:48,000 --> 01:09:52,000
Yeah, probably only because it was the original.

1334
01:09:52,000 --> 01:09:54,000
Maybe because they gave him more lines.

1335
01:09:54,000 --> 01:09:57,000
Well, exactly. He got more kind of storylines.

1336
01:09:57,000 --> 01:10:01,000
I mean, there's an entire episode based around him.

1337
01:10:01,000 --> 01:10:06,000
Queeg, when he gets replaced, this just turns out to be a big April Fool.

1338
01:10:06,000 --> 01:10:10,000
But this has a, I can understand why this episode gets a lot of love.

1339
01:10:10,000 --> 01:10:12,000
There's a lot of kind of throwbacks as well.

1340
01:10:12,000 --> 01:10:15,000
So, the throwbacks when Timothy Spauld says,

1341
01:10:15,000 --> 01:10:19,000
oh, well, Rimmer knows or was meant to know Esperanto.

1342
01:10:19,000 --> 01:10:21,000
The name of the ship was the SS Esperanto.

1343
01:10:21,000 --> 01:10:23,000
You should have got that as a clue, should we?

1344
01:10:23,000 --> 01:10:24,000
Yeah.

1345
01:10:24,000 --> 01:10:26,000
And yeah, you find out about the Esperanto early on

1346
01:10:26,000 --> 01:10:28,000
and he struggles to learn it.

1347
01:10:28,000 --> 01:10:30,000
He can't learn it and he's useless at it.

1348
01:10:30,000 --> 01:10:33,000
He's been learning, God knows how many years and still can't.

1349
01:10:33,000 --> 01:10:34,000
That's the joke.

1350
01:10:34,000 --> 01:10:40,000
So, it's nice to see little kind of throwbacks.

1351
01:10:40,000 --> 01:10:42,000
First appearance of Dwayne Dibley.

1352
01:10:42,000 --> 01:10:50,000
Now, I would argue, is it because actually the polymorph one was very similar to Dwayne Dibley.

1353
01:10:50,000 --> 01:10:54,000
No, but the polymorph one, he just run down drunk.

1354
01:10:54,000 --> 01:10:56,000
Oh, fair enough. Okay. Yeah.

1355
01:10:56,000 --> 01:10:59,000
So, that's the first time Dwayne Dibley. Okay.

1356
01:10:59,000 --> 01:11:00,000
Yeah, yeah.

1357
01:11:00,000 --> 01:11:04,000
I suppose, yeah, because that's when he finds out his name is Dwayne Dibley, isn't it?

1358
01:11:04,000 --> 01:11:07,000
It's not like he goes, oh, I'm Dwayne Dibley. Oh, my God.

1359
01:11:07,000 --> 01:11:09,000
As he finds out, that's his name, isn't it?

1360
01:11:09,000 --> 01:11:11,000
True. Oh, I like this.

1361
01:11:11,000 --> 01:11:17,000
Although the budget for the series had increased, certain sets were still able to do double for different scenes.

1362
01:11:17,000 --> 01:11:24,000
The corridors of Hollow Ship from the episode of the same name were grunged down and made up for the artificial reality suites.

1363
01:11:24,000 --> 01:11:27,000
I like that though. I don't see any problem with that.

1364
01:11:27,000 --> 01:11:28,000
I like those sort of things.

1365
01:11:28,000 --> 01:11:29,000
I didn't notice.

1366
01:11:29,000 --> 01:11:33,000
You just don't because set people are brilliant.

1367
01:11:33,000 --> 01:11:38,000
Well, plus as well, you're focusing on what's happening as well,

1368
01:11:38,000 --> 01:11:43,000
because it's just engaging, the acting is engaging, the writing is engaging.

1369
01:11:43,000 --> 01:11:45,000
It's, you know.

1370
01:11:45,000 --> 01:11:51,000
Now, one thing, so the Despair Squid is what's caused all of this hallucination.

1371
01:11:51,000 --> 01:11:52,000
Yes.

1372
01:11:52,000 --> 01:12:00,000
Do you think the writers wrote in that they thought it was a VR game because previously they had played,

1373
01:12:00,000 --> 01:12:09,000
I think it must be season two, the VR game Better Than Life in the very early series where they get sent their new video.

1374
01:12:09,000 --> 01:12:18,000
The post finally arrives and they play Better Than Life, which is a VR game where, as advertised, people spend their lives in it

1375
01:12:18,000 --> 01:12:23,000
because it's this realised full kind of you have the life that you want.

1376
01:12:23,000 --> 01:12:25,000
I don't remember the episode, if I'm honest.

1377
01:12:25,000 --> 01:12:30,000
Oh, it's a great episode and Rimmer ruins it as always.

1378
01:12:30,000 --> 01:12:33,000
So yeah, Lister's going around and he's like brilliant. Rimmer starts off brilliant.

1379
01:12:33,000 --> 01:12:38,000
He's got stripes and he's really high up and kind of respected by everyone.

1380
01:12:38,000 --> 01:12:45,000
And then by the end of it, his kind of depression has kind of come forward and it starts moulding the game towards that.

1381
01:12:45,000 --> 01:12:46,000
So he loses all his money.

1382
01:12:46,000 --> 01:12:50,000
He ends up in a horrid marriage that he doesn't want to be and he got kids crying.

1383
01:12:50,000 --> 01:12:58,000
He's an alcoholic and then he starts dragging Lister into it as well and Cat into it and they're just all then miserable because of him.

1384
01:12:58,000 --> 01:13:00,000
And he just, they really ruins the game.

1385
01:13:00,000 --> 01:13:07,000
But I just wondered if anything was kind of in the back of their mind thinking, how could we make this kind of fit?

1386
01:13:07,000 --> 01:13:11,000
And yeah, the VR game kind of makes sense that Better Than Life existed in the series.

1387
01:13:11,000 --> 01:13:13,000
So it's a similar idea.

1388
01:13:13,000 --> 01:13:18,000
Yeah. I don't remember the episode, but I guess so. Yeah.

1389
01:13:18,000 --> 01:13:25,000
But coming back to what we were saying then, where do you think Red Dwarf started going downhill?

1390
01:13:25,000 --> 01:13:30,000
And that's a hard thing to say because ultimately I still love Red Dwarf very, very much.

1391
01:13:30,000 --> 01:13:33,000
Even the later stuff, I still have love for it.

1392
01:13:33,000 --> 01:13:37,000
I don't think it's as good, but I don't think it's terrible.

1393
01:13:37,000 --> 01:13:44,000
I just think it's starting to go away from what genuinely was very clever and very funny.

1394
01:13:44,000 --> 01:13:48,000
I don't know whether I would, there's any bit where I'd go, oh, it started to get bad.

1395
01:13:48,000 --> 01:13:56,000
I just think when it came back, I actually wasn't that really fussed about watching it.

1396
01:13:56,000 --> 01:14:01,000
When I knew that it was going to be, you know, it was a Dave thing, I was like, oh, I'm not going to have much.

1397
01:14:01,000 --> 01:14:07,000
Okay, it's a free to air channel, but I didn't have any way of recording it at the time.

1398
01:14:07,000 --> 01:14:10,000
So I was like, well, I'm not going to be able to watch it when it's on.

1399
01:14:10,000 --> 01:14:12,000
I've got to wait for a repeat of it.

1400
01:14:12,000 --> 01:14:23,000
Well, this is it. I only got to watch these, I guess, initially on VHS and then good old, again, BBC Two.

1401
01:14:23,000 --> 01:14:26,000
It would have been BBC Two and it was, I think, what was their comedy night?

1402
01:14:26,000 --> 01:14:28,000
Was that a Thursday night sci-fi?

1403
01:14:28,000 --> 01:14:32,000
So they used to have Friday night was comedy and you had things like The Farce Show on.

1404
01:14:32,000 --> 01:14:35,000
Thursday night, I think, used to be kind of the sci-fi.

1405
01:14:35,000 --> 01:14:38,000
So you had Star Trek, you had Sliders.

1406
01:14:38,000 --> 01:14:42,000
And then I think later into the evening you then had Red Dwarf.

1407
01:14:42,000 --> 01:14:46,000
I'd need to double check. It might have even been on Friday night then.

1408
01:14:46,000 --> 01:14:48,000
But yeah, I got to see the reruns then.

1409
01:14:48,000 --> 01:14:58,000
And then obviously, as I got older, I then got the ability to start watching the seasons as they came out, which for me, I'm just looking here.

1410
01:14:58,000 --> 01:15:03,000
I think it was going to be, yeah, season six, which was released 93.

1411
01:15:03,000 --> 01:15:08,000
I think those are the first ones I remember watching on TV.

1412
01:15:08,000 --> 01:15:11,000
Maybe not so much, maybe one or two of them.

1413
01:15:11,000 --> 01:15:15,000
But I definitely had season six on VHS.

1414
01:15:15,000 --> 01:15:18,000
And I remember buying it from W.A. Smiths in Watford.

1415
01:15:18,000 --> 01:15:20,000
It was a summer holiday trip, as always.

1416
01:15:20,000 --> 01:15:24,000
Mum used to take us on summer holidays and we'd go the day shopping.

1417
01:15:24,000 --> 01:15:28,000
And we'd go and walk around the harlequin. It was a day out, wasn't it?

1418
01:15:28,000 --> 01:15:32,000
And back then you had lots more shops that were much more interesting in my opinion.

1419
01:15:32,000 --> 01:15:36,000
And I remember that, gee, you can buy one video from W.A. Smiths.

1420
01:15:36,000 --> 01:15:42,000
And I bought that season on VHS and went back and remembered watching it over and over again.

1421
01:15:42,000 --> 01:15:48,000
And even then, looking at that series now, so season six is Sirens.

1422
01:15:48,000 --> 01:15:53,000
And this is the first season where they wake up and they've lost Red Dwarf.

1423
01:15:53,000 --> 01:16:01,000
And you've got Sirens, you've got Legion, you've got Gunmen of the Apocalypse, Emo Hort, Polymorph 2, Rimmerworld, and Out of Time.

1424
01:16:01,000 --> 01:16:07,000
Out of all of them, I think Rimmerworld is the funniest.

1425
01:16:07,000 --> 01:16:13,000
And I think it's probably season six that I start thinking things are starting to go downhill.

1426
01:16:13,000 --> 01:16:20,000
And it would be a further four years until season seven came along with Ticket to Ride, Stoke Me a Clipper.

1427
01:16:20,000 --> 01:16:23,000
And that's when they brought back Kaczanski.

1428
01:16:23,000 --> 01:16:29,000
So they got rid of Rimmer. Chris Barry wasn't in it much.

1429
01:16:29,000 --> 01:16:39,000
And you ended up with Episode Blue, which is the one where they bring up the roller coaster ride with Little Rimmer marching.

1430
01:16:39,000 --> 01:16:42,000
And so on and so on.

1431
01:16:42,000 --> 01:16:47,000
And that's what ends in Red Dwarf being recreated.

1432
01:16:47,000 --> 01:16:51,000
And that's when the old Holly comes back from the look of it.

1433
01:16:51,000 --> 01:16:56,000
And then, yeah, episode series eight is when they're in the Red Dwarf and in prison.

1434
01:16:56,000 --> 01:17:01,000
And I... 99, wow. Later than I thought.

1435
01:17:01,000 --> 01:17:02,000
Yeah.

1436
01:17:02,000 --> 01:17:06,000
But not as late as I thought as well, because I would have been watching that on...

1437
01:17:06,000 --> 01:17:09,000
Oh, maybe that was the BBC then, 99.

1438
01:17:09,000 --> 01:17:11,000
It would have still been on the BBC 99, I think.

1439
01:17:11,000 --> 01:17:13,000
Yeah, when did digital TV come in?

1440
01:17:13,000 --> 01:17:16,000
Because I was very early to the digital TV world.

1441
01:17:16,000 --> 01:17:18,000
I went to a... shows you how classy.

1442
01:17:18,000 --> 01:17:22,000
My parents wouldn't let me have a TV area in my room, so I had a little portable TV.

1443
01:17:22,000 --> 01:17:25,000
And it had one of those little round metal aerials on top.

1444
01:17:25,000 --> 01:17:28,000
And it was OK. It didn't get me great reception.

1445
01:17:28,000 --> 01:17:32,000
So I remember walking into town, walking into Wilkinson's because that had newly opened,

1446
01:17:32,000 --> 01:17:36,000
bought an aerial kit, and my room had a loft hatch.

1447
01:17:36,000 --> 01:17:41,000
Climbed into the loft, strapped that aerial to a loft beam with duct tape,

1448
01:17:41,000 --> 01:17:43,000
then ran the cable out.

1449
01:17:43,000 --> 01:17:46,000
First time I'd done a coaxial cable, ran it to my TV.

1450
01:17:46,000 --> 01:17:49,000
Perfect signal. Loved it. Absolutely brilliant.

1451
01:17:49,000 --> 01:17:53,000
Fun fact, it's still in that room and my nephew uses it to watch TV,

1452
01:17:53,000 --> 01:17:55,000
and it still works perfectly.

1453
01:17:55,000 --> 01:17:56,000
Oh, wicked.

1454
01:17:56,000 --> 01:18:01,000
Which is just... it's proper, proper going ghetto technology style there.

1455
01:18:01,000 --> 01:18:04,000
But it worked, really liked it.

1456
01:18:04,000 --> 01:18:11,000
Went back to town for some reason, and I saw this thing called a digital TV receiver.

1457
01:18:11,000 --> 01:18:13,000
And I was like, oh, no, that was it.

1458
01:18:13,000 --> 01:18:17,000
The TV aerial said, designed for analogue and digital TV.

1459
01:18:17,000 --> 01:18:19,000
And it's like, what? Digital?

1460
01:18:19,000 --> 01:18:24,000
So I went back and I paid 50 quid for this half...

1461
01:18:24,000 --> 01:18:28,000
it was a semicircle kind of thing with a giant cable like that.

1462
01:18:28,000 --> 01:18:34,000
Went back, stabbed it in, and got all of these weird extra digital channels as they were back then.

1463
01:18:34,000 --> 01:18:37,000
Bugger all on them, but yeah, that was just the introduction to it.

1464
01:18:37,000 --> 01:18:40,000
I'm just wondering when Dave first appeared and when Back in the Red aired.

1465
01:18:40,000 --> 01:18:42,000
We had an aerial on TV.

1466
01:18:42,000 --> 01:18:51,000
My dad at some point, who fucking knows when, had had an aerial guy come and wire every room.

1467
01:18:51,000 --> 01:18:55,000
And the way they'd done it was you had a weird socket on the windowsill.

1468
01:18:55,000 --> 01:18:56,000
Did you ever see that?

1469
01:18:56,000 --> 01:19:03,000
So the guy had obviously gone and brought the cable in through the bloody window kind of frame to this little piece.

1470
01:19:03,000 --> 01:19:07,000
And I've worked on it since, particularly one in their bedroom.

1471
01:19:07,000 --> 01:19:11,000
The cable's so fucking short, it was impossible to work with.

1472
01:19:11,000 --> 01:19:12,000
You can't do anything with it, can you?

1473
01:19:12,000 --> 01:19:18,000
And they had little resistors in, and to make it work with Magic Eyes, you had to cut the little resistor off and try and...

1474
01:19:18,000 --> 01:19:19,000
like solder bits together.

1475
01:19:19,000 --> 01:19:21,000
I had to change them and repair loads of them.

1476
01:19:21,000 --> 01:19:23,000
Anyway, that's a different story.

1477
01:19:23,000 --> 01:19:32,000
But I had, I think it was called Play TV, which was a digital receiver that you'd attach to your PlayStation.

1478
01:19:32,000 --> 01:19:35,000
So then you could record onto your hard drive of your PlayStation.

1479
01:19:35,000 --> 01:19:39,000
And I got that way later on.

1480
01:19:39,000 --> 01:19:44,000
Like, as I said, I couldn't record Dave and stuff at the time to watch those ones.

1481
01:19:44,000 --> 01:19:47,000
Yeah, so Dave appeared in 98 apparently.

1482
01:19:47,000 --> 01:19:48,000
Did it?

1483
01:19:48,000 --> 01:19:52,000
It was part of the UK gold sort of things.

1484
01:19:52,000 --> 01:19:57,000
So actually, I've been around a lot longer than I thought.

1485
01:19:57,000 --> 01:19:59,000
Is it still around now?

1486
01:19:59,000 --> 01:20:03,000
It's now called You and Dave, I believe.

1487
01:20:03,000 --> 01:20:07,000
It doesn't sound, I'm just looking at the Wikipedia here to see if it was...

1488
01:20:07,000 --> 01:20:10,000
Isn't that what Taskmaster's from, Dave?

1489
01:20:10,000 --> 01:20:12,000
No, that's Channel 4.

1490
01:20:12,000 --> 01:20:13,000
Taskmaster's...

1491
01:20:13,000 --> 01:20:15,000
I thought it was originally on Dave.

1492
01:20:15,000 --> 01:20:17,000
Oh, no, I think it was always a Channel 4 thing.

1493
01:20:17,000 --> 01:20:19,000
Dave just shows whatever it can get its hands on.

1494
01:20:19,000 --> 01:20:20,000
Maybe that's why...

1495
01:20:20,000 --> 01:20:23,000
It used to show Top Gear over and over again.

1496
01:20:23,000 --> 01:20:24,000
Yeah, it did, yeah.

1497
01:20:24,000 --> 01:20:28,000
Yeah, you could kind of guarantee whatever time of day it was, you'd know what it was.

1498
01:20:28,000 --> 01:20:30,000
So if it was the morning, it would be Top Gear.

1499
01:20:30,000 --> 01:20:32,000
If it was the afternoon, it would be quiz shows.

1500
01:20:32,000 --> 01:20:34,000
If it was the evening, it was comedy shows.

1501
01:20:34,000 --> 01:20:38,000
I imagine that's quite how quite a lot of those channels would have started

1502
01:20:38,000 --> 01:20:43,000
by just buying up the rights to show good shows or popular shows,

1503
01:20:43,000 --> 01:20:48,000
have them on constantly, get the ad revenue in and then start making their own.

1504
01:20:48,000 --> 01:20:51,000
Yeah, I just can't remember whether series eight was the BBC

1505
01:20:51,000 --> 01:20:55,000
or whether it was Dave or it was the next seasons after that that were Dave,

1506
01:20:55,000 --> 01:20:59,000
because there was very specific series made for Dave

1507
01:20:59,000 --> 01:21:03,000
that the BBC weren't, well, were involved in, but weren't, if you get what I mean.

1508
01:21:03,000 --> 01:21:08,000
Anyway, we've kind of gone on the tangent there, which is a tangential podcast.

1509
01:21:08,000 --> 01:21:09,000
Yeah.

1510
01:21:09,000 --> 01:21:11,000
I still love Red Dwarf.

1511
01:21:11,000 --> 01:21:13,000
Everything about it is brilliant.

1512
01:21:13,000 --> 01:21:16,000
The two episodes we chose, I think, were some of the best ones out there.

1513
01:21:16,000 --> 01:21:21,000
If I had the chance to choose a different episode, I might do.

1514
01:21:21,000 --> 01:21:23,000
I might do, actually.

1515
01:21:23,000 --> 01:21:25,000
There are so many good ones.

1516
01:21:25,000 --> 01:21:28,000
I mean, didn't you, you had a list at one point, didn't you?

1517
01:21:28,000 --> 01:21:29,000
I've got them on my phone, yeah.

1518
01:21:29,000 --> 01:21:31,000
Yeah, what were your favourite ones?

1519
01:21:31,000 --> 01:21:35,000
Let me bring it up on here.

1520
01:21:35,000 --> 01:21:37,000
Sorry, I'm too far away from the microphone.

1521
01:21:37,000 --> 01:21:38,000
Sorry, everybody.

1522
01:21:38,000 --> 01:21:43,000
I've got, well, these aren't my favourite ones that I, notable ones.

1523
01:21:43,000 --> 01:21:48,000
So season five of Sephora, quarantine, the virus makes them go mad.

1524
01:21:48,000 --> 01:21:49,000
Yeah.

1525
01:21:49,000 --> 01:21:52,000
And there's a great scene with Rimmer kind of dressed up as a little school girl

1526
01:21:52,000 --> 01:21:53,000
with a little duck or something.

1527
01:21:53,000 --> 01:21:54,000
Yeah.

1528
01:21:54,000 --> 01:21:55,000
Mr. Flurr.

1529
01:21:55,000 --> 01:21:57,000
Is it Mr. Flurr?

1530
01:21:57,000 --> 01:22:00,000
The duck's name?

1531
01:22:00,000 --> 01:22:02,000
It's Mr. Floppy, isn't it?

1532
01:22:02,000 --> 01:22:03,000
Something like that.

1533
01:22:03,000 --> 01:22:04,000
Goodness.

1534
01:22:04,000 --> 01:22:05,000
Yeah.

1535
01:22:05,000 --> 01:22:06,000
Anyways, so yeah.

1536
01:22:06,000 --> 01:22:08,000
Season six, episode four, Rimmer world.

1537
01:22:08,000 --> 01:22:11,000
We go through, Rimmer goes through a wormhole.

1538
01:22:11,000 --> 01:22:15,000
Everyone follows him and it takes them 600 extra years to get there.

1539
01:22:15,000 --> 01:22:18,000
And the whole planet's now populated with Rimmer clones.

1540
01:22:18,000 --> 01:22:19,000
Yeah.

1541
01:22:19,000 --> 01:22:20,000
So it's a good day.

1542
01:22:20,000 --> 01:22:24,000
And season seven, episode five is called Blue, which you said.

1543
01:22:24,000 --> 01:22:28,000
It's just because I like the ride, the Arnold Rimmer ride.

1544
01:22:28,000 --> 01:22:31,000
They're the ones that I happened to write down on here.

1545
01:22:31,000 --> 01:22:32,000
Yeah.

1546
01:22:32,000 --> 01:22:36,000
I mean, I'm going to, this is just from the first six series.

1547
01:22:36,000 --> 01:22:39,000
I'm going to just choose one from each series.

1548
01:22:39,000 --> 01:22:45,000
Season one, obviously the first season, difficult because it's still building up on the characters

1549
01:22:45,000 --> 01:22:46,000
as we know them.

1550
01:22:46,000 --> 01:22:48,000
And it is a very raw season.

1551
01:22:48,000 --> 01:22:53,000
It's very funny, but it is very different to all the seasons we got after that.

1552
01:22:53,000 --> 01:22:55,000
Confidence and paranoia from season one.

1553
01:22:55,000 --> 01:22:59,000
Absolutely brilliant portrayal from so many different actors in there.

1554
01:22:59,000 --> 01:23:05,000
Lister gets sick and they basically his confidence is paranoia become real life people walking

1555
01:23:05,000 --> 01:23:06,000
around the ship.

1556
01:23:06,000 --> 01:23:11,000
And it's just the confidence keeps killing things and paranoia keeps telling him, oh

1557
01:23:11,000 --> 01:23:12,000
no, you're not good enough.

1558
01:23:12,000 --> 01:23:13,000
Are you?

1559
01:23:13,000 --> 01:23:15,000
And confidence kills paranoia.

1560
01:23:15,000 --> 01:23:17,000
Very, very clever episode.

1561
01:23:17,000 --> 01:23:18,000
Really good.

1562
01:23:18,000 --> 01:23:22,000
Season two, a little bit more difficult.

1563
01:23:22,000 --> 01:23:24,000
You've got better than life.

1564
01:23:24,000 --> 01:23:27,000
Season three is the second series.

1565
01:23:27,000 --> 01:23:31,000
Thanks for the memories, a really nice one because they basically get pissed up on, I

1566
01:23:31,000 --> 01:23:37,000
think it's Rimmer's death day and they give Rimmer the, like Lister's memory of his like

1567
01:23:37,000 --> 01:23:41,000
first kiss or something to try and make Rimmer happy.

1568
01:23:41,000 --> 01:23:43,000
That's just a really nice episode.

1569
01:23:43,000 --> 01:23:47,000
It's a very funny one because they wake up and they've all got things like, I think Lister's

1570
01:23:47,000 --> 01:23:51,000
got a broken, no, the cat's got a broken foot and various things.

1571
01:23:51,000 --> 01:23:55,000
Everyone remembers why because they wipe their memory of it, all of these things.

1572
01:23:55,000 --> 01:23:59,000
Season three, now we talked about Polymorph.

1573
01:23:59,000 --> 01:24:06,000
Looking at what's on season three, I'd almost say actually, I think as much as I loved Polymorph

1574
01:24:06,000 --> 01:24:16,000
and it's the rated highest on IMDB, timeslides from that series is just a brilliant episode.

1575
01:24:16,000 --> 01:24:19,000
I almost regret not choosing that one.

1576
01:24:19,000 --> 01:24:27,000
Basically, they find some mutated film negative processing liquid and it makes all the pictures

1577
01:24:27,000 --> 01:24:29,000
that's processed with it come alive.

1578
01:24:29,000 --> 01:24:33,000
If they put it on the projector, they can walk into that scene and Rimmer eventually

1579
01:24:33,000 --> 01:24:40,000
persuades him from his younger life to create the tension sheet rather than Thickey Holden

1580
01:24:40,000 --> 01:24:42,000
and it changes the timeline.

1581
01:24:42,000 --> 01:24:47,000
It all goes back to normal at the end, but again, brilliant, brilliant episode and probably

1582
01:24:47,000 --> 01:24:49,000
a bit stronger than the Polymorph one.

1583
01:24:49,000 --> 01:24:52,000
Season four, lot to it.

1584
01:24:52,000 --> 01:24:57,000
I would go with DNA just because Cryon Becomes Human, really, really good episode.

1585
01:24:57,000 --> 01:25:00,000
Five, just speeding this up a little bit.

1586
01:25:00,000 --> 01:25:04,000
I'll stick with that as a reality with what you've chosen because actually it's between

1587
01:25:04,000 --> 01:25:08,000
that and quarantine for that episode, for that season.

1588
01:25:08,000 --> 01:25:12,000
Then season six, as I say, this is where it gets a little bit rough for me and I didn't

1589
01:25:12,000 --> 01:25:15,000
enjoy it as much.

1590
01:25:15,000 --> 01:25:18,000
Either Legion or Gunmen of the Apocalypse.

1591
01:25:18,000 --> 01:25:21,000
Gunmen of the Apocalypse is where they get hit with the virus and Cryon decides to plug

1592
01:25:21,000 --> 01:25:26,000
himself in and they turn it into a game, again, a bit like VR from the other one.

1593
01:25:26,000 --> 01:25:32,000
Whereas Legion, they come across another ship and he's built up of all of them and he just

1594
01:25:32,000 --> 01:25:36,000
doesn't want them to leave, but that's getting very good.

1595
01:25:36,000 --> 01:25:39,000
It's a bit up with either Cryon's.

1596
01:25:39,000 --> 01:25:46,000
So no, Legion, they arrive on the ship and he appears and he's like, oh no, and he knows

1597
01:25:46,000 --> 01:25:48,000
what makes all of them happy.

1598
01:25:48,000 --> 01:25:50,000
They lock his face off.

1599
01:25:50,000 --> 01:25:54,000
He's part of all four of them and that's why he doesn't want them to leave.

1600
01:25:54,000 --> 01:25:59,000
I think we've got to knock you all out, but Rimmer's hard light beam means they can't

1601
01:25:59,000 --> 01:26:00,000
knock him out.

1602
01:26:00,000 --> 01:26:05,000
They keep trying to knock him out with this giant polystyrene, which is meant to be kind

1603
01:26:05,000 --> 01:26:09,000
of marble statue, but they can't.

1604
01:26:09,000 --> 01:26:12,000
There is an episode where it's all Crytans on the ship, right?

1605
01:26:12,000 --> 01:26:15,000
Different, like a woman Cryton and a different kind of Cryon.

1606
01:26:15,000 --> 01:26:16,000
There's a couple.

1607
01:26:16,000 --> 01:26:17,000
So there's Camille.

1608
01:26:17,000 --> 01:26:22,000
He comes across a female version of a Cryson unit, but that is because Camille is a shapeshifter

1609
01:26:22,000 --> 01:26:25,000
and you see what you want to see.

1610
01:26:25,000 --> 01:26:30,000
So Cryon sees a female unit, Lister sees a sexy version of a Lister woman.

1611
01:26:30,000 --> 01:26:36,000
Rimmer sees a sexy hologram woman instead and a pleasure gulf, I think he calls it.

1612
01:26:36,000 --> 01:26:40,000
So again, related to gulfs later on.

1613
01:26:40,000 --> 01:26:44,000
And it just turns out she looks like a giant lump of snot in earth-true form.

1614
01:26:44,000 --> 01:26:47,000
And then the other bit that you kind of see is when he goes to see his heads, because

1615
01:26:47,000 --> 01:26:51,000
he's got lots of different heads in a cupboard and they've all gone a little bit strange

1616
01:26:51,000 --> 01:26:54,000
from rot.

1617
01:26:54,000 --> 01:26:55,000
There's a lot to it.

1618
01:26:55,000 --> 01:26:58,000
It's one of the best British comedies out there.

1619
01:26:58,000 --> 01:27:03,000
Even now, I would say it beats a hell of a lot of what comes onto our TV nowadays.

1620
01:27:03,000 --> 01:27:04,000
Agreed.

1621
01:27:04,000 --> 01:27:06,000
What are these guys going to do to us?

1622
01:27:06,000 --> 01:27:09,000
Whatever it takes to find out about the Paddle.

1623
01:27:09,000 --> 01:27:12,000
Hey, if you mean torture, then say the word torture.

1624
01:27:12,000 --> 01:27:13,000
I can take it.

1625
01:27:13,000 --> 01:27:15,000
Okay, they may torture us.

1626
01:27:15,000 --> 01:27:16,000
They torture us.

1627
01:27:16,000 --> 01:27:18,000
They probably won't, man.

1628
01:27:18,000 --> 01:27:20,000
They're probably not even interested in the Paddle.

1629
01:27:20,000 --> 01:27:23,000
They'll just take us outside and execute us.

1630
01:27:23,000 --> 01:27:25,000
You're just saying that to make me feel better.

1631
01:27:25,000 --> 01:27:28,000
So, sorry everyone, this is another long one.

1632
01:27:28,000 --> 01:27:31,000
I think this is just going to be a long show each time.

1633
01:27:31,000 --> 01:27:32,000
Yeah, it is, I guess.

1634
01:27:32,000 --> 01:27:33,000
A bit up and down.

1635
01:27:33,000 --> 01:27:36,000
So, what are we going to watch next week?

1636
01:27:36,000 --> 01:27:39,000
You've chosen something for us for next episode.

1637
01:27:39,000 --> 01:27:40,000
I need to get back into...

1638
01:27:40,000 --> 01:27:43,000
IMDb should be sponsoring this, I think.

1639
01:27:43,000 --> 01:27:44,000
They should.

1640
01:27:44,000 --> 01:27:45,000
Right.

1641
01:27:45,000 --> 01:27:49,000
We are going to watch the Quatermass experiment.

1642
01:27:49,000 --> 01:27:54,000
And I need to just quickly double check which one we are going to be watching.

1643
01:27:54,000 --> 01:28:00,000
We are going to be watching Quatermass experiment, the 1955 version, which is the black and white film.

1644
01:28:00,000 --> 01:28:07,000
It's the first time we're going to be venturing into the world of old school sci-fi.

1645
01:28:07,000 --> 01:28:10,000
So, bear in mind this is 1955.

1646
01:28:10,000 --> 01:28:16,000
Just stick with it because it is a absolutely fantastic film.

1647
01:28:16,000 --> 01:28:20,000
If anything, you could almost go for it's a sci-fi horror.

1648
01:28:20,000 --> 01:28:26,000
And actually IMDb lists it as space sci-fi, horror sci-fi.

1649
01:28:26,000 --> 01:28:30,000
It's very of its time.

1650
01:28:30,000 --> 01:28:35,000
I guess you could almost say it's a British version of The Thing almost,

1651
01:28:35,000 --> 01:28:40,000
if The Thing was to land in a populated area instead.

1652
01:28:40,000 --> 01:28:41,000
I'll leave it at that.

1653
01:28:41,000 --> 01:28:44,000
Now, I will need to obviously get you my copy of it so you can see it

1654
01:28:44,000 --> 01:28:47,000
because it's not on streaming anywhere as normal.

1655
01:28:47,000 --> 01:28:53,000
And it is spelled Q-U-A-T-E-R-M-A-S-S for Quatermass.

1656
01:28:53,000 --> 01:28:57,000
And experiment is experiment without an E at the front.

1657
01:28:57,000 --> 01:28:58,000
Oh, so it's trendy.

1658
01:28:58,000 --> 01:29:02,000
It's trendy, mate. The Quatermass experiment.

1659
01:29:02,000 --> 01:29:05,000
Experiment. Very iPhone.

1660
01:29:05,000 --> 01:29:07,000
Very, very, very much so.

1661
01:29:07,000 --> 01:29:09,000
Ricked.

1662
01:29:09,000 --> 01:29:17,000
It's a small off-duty Czechoslovakian traffic board.

1663
01:29:39,000 --> 01:29:58,000
There you are. I've been looking everywhere for you.

1664
01:29:58,000 --> 01:30:00,000
Oh, yeah. Hi, mate. Hi, mate.

1665
01:30:00,000 --> 01:30:02,000
You know we're late for our shift in engineering.

1666
01:30:02,000 --> 01:30:03,000
Huh?

1667
01:30:03,000 --> 01:30:06,000
Engineering, spaceship, our job, any of this ring a bell?

1668
01:30:06,000 --> 01:30:09,000
Saying engineering makes it sound way cooler than it is.

1669
01:30:09,000 --> 01:30:14,000
It is cool. So our first day shift, that isn't scrubbing floors.

1670
01:30:14,000 --> 01:30:18,000
Dude, we're changing biopacks in Jefferies Tube 84.

1671
01:30:18,000 --> 01:30:20,000
It's hardly an engineering shift.

1672
01:30:20,000 --> 01:30:24,000
OK, fine, but it's our first day shift.

1673
01:30:24,000 --> 01:30:26,000
Yay.

1674
01:30:26,000 --> 01:30:27,000
Fuck me.

1675
01:30:27,000 --> 01:30:30,000
Why do we even have biopacks? Didn't they learn anything from Voyager?

1676
01:30:30,000 --> 01:30:34,000
Are you implying Starfleet learns anything from past mistakes?

1677
01:30:34,000 --> 01:30:37,000
Have you read any of the captain's logs since Kirk?

1678
01:30:37,000 --> 01:30:40,000
No, nor did anyone else but the Zowdy things.

1679
01:30:40,000 --> 01:30:43,000
Touche. Anyway, what are you doing?

1680
01:30:43,000 --> 01:30:44,000
Ah, just stuff.

1681
01:30:44,000 --> 01:30:45,000
Stuff?

1682
01:30:45,000 --> 01:30:48,000
You know, sci-fi stuff. You wouldn't understand.

1683
01:30:48,000 --> 01:30:50,000
Cheeky prick. Try me.

1684
01:30:50,000 --> 01:30:55,000
Well, after all that stuff that we aren't meant to talk about, but do talk about,

1685
01:30:55,000 --> 01:31:03,000
but only when the thing that we can't talk about can't be heard by people who don't know the thing that we can't talk about happened,

1686
01:31:03,000 --> 01:31:07,000
I've been wondering, what if things were different?

1687
01:31:07,000 --> 01:31:14,000
What if none of those things that we can't talk about, but do talk about, but only when the thing we can't talk about can't be talked about?

1688
01:31:14,000 --> 01:31:16,000
I get it. I get it.

1689
01:31:16,000 --> 01:31:20,000
Right, well, because of that, I've made this.

1690
01:31:20,000 --> 01:31:33,000
It's a quantum time-field manipulating mirror, created using hyperactive mycelium spores that react violently when adjacent to negative quark variants at a temperature of 8,000 Kelvin.

1691
01:31:33,000 --> 01:31:38,000
You're right. I don't understand. But the word violent sounds ominous.

1692
01:31:38,000 --> 01:31:41,000
Don't worry about it. Look, look, look. Put this watch on.

1693
01:31:41,000 --> 01:31:42,000
What's this for?

1694
01:31:42,000 --> 01:31:53,000
With that on your wrist, it re-phases the wearer to match other dimensions, and when phased correctly, the user can then look into the mirror and glimpse other dimensions.

1695
01:31:53,000 --> 01:31:55,000
Without it, it just looks like a normal mirror.

1696
01:31:55,000 --> 01:31:58,000
How the fuck did you figure this out?

1697
01:31:58,000 --> 01:32:01,000
Followed a tutorial on Trektube. You can find anything on there.

1698
01:32:01,000 --> 01:32:10,000
You know, there's this wicked channel on there where this guy and his girlfriend get stalked by some random alien, and then they have to keep changing planets to escape.

1699
01:32:10,000 --> 01:32:12,000
That sounds so shit.

1700
01:32:12,000 --> 01:32:14,000
Don't knock it till you've tried it.

1701
01:32:14,000 --> 01:32:17,000
Right then. Watch is on. What do I do?

1702
01:32:17,000 --> 01:32:19,000
Hang on, hang on, hang on. Let me get mine on.

1703
01:32:19,000 --> 01:32:30,000
Right, okay. Right, ready, right. Now turn the outer ring to any number you like. Then you press the big red screen in the middle. You'll then re-phase and hopefully the mirror will show us something.

1704
01:32:30,000 --> 01:32:32,000
Will you see it?

1705
01:32:32,000 --> 01:32:38,000
Yep. I paired the watches, so whatever one setting is, the other will match and we should both be able to see what's going on.

1706
01:32:38,000 --> 01:32:40,000
Cool.

1707
01:32:40,000 --> 01:32:43,000
Just one thing. Don't break the glass when the system's active.

1708
01:32:43,000 --> 01:32:44,000
Why?

1709
01:32:44,000 --> 01:32:47,000
Oh, no. I skipped that bit of the video anyway. Go on. Give it a spin.

1710
01:32:52,000 --> 01:32:54,000
Look. It's us.

1711
01:32:54,000 --> 01:32:56,000
Ha! It works! What are we doing?

1712
01:32:56,000 --> 01:32:59,000
Looks like... looks like we're on an away mission.

1713
01:32:59,000 --> 01:33:01,000
Nice! We never get to go on away missions.

1714
01:33:01,000 --> 01:33:03,000
Wait. Hang on.

1715
01:33:03,000 --> 01:33:05,000
Oh no.

1716
01:33:05,000 --> 01:33:07,000
We've got red uniforms on.

1717
01:33:07,000 --> 01:33:09,000
Shit. Quick, change it, change it.

1718
01:33:09,000 --> 01:33:12,000
It looks like you stepped in something.

1719
01:33:12,000 --> 01:33:16,000
Oh, now we appear to be arguing. Is there no sound?

1720
01:33:16,000 --> 01:33:18,000
It's just a mirror, mate. No audio.

1721
01:33:18,000 --> 01:33:24,000
There's some kind of giant green blob appearing out of the ground. It... shit, it's got you.

1722
01:33:24,000 --> 01:33:25,000
Oh, change the dial.

1723
01:33:25,000 --> 01:33:27,000
It's slamming you on the ground!

1724
01:33:27,000 --> 01:33:28,000
Change the dial!

1725
01:33:28,000 --> 01:33:31,000
Over and over and over and over and over and over!

1726
01:33:31,000 --> 01:33:34,000
Change the fucking dial! Oh, for fuck's sake, I'll do it.

1727
01:33:34,000 --> 01:33:38,000
Boo! Oh, shut up, knobhead.

1728
01:33:38,000 --> 01:33:40,000
Oh look, it's Admiral Chesters.

1729
01:33:40,000 --> 01:33:42,000
Is that a crown on her head?

1730
01:33:42,000 --> 01:33:43,000
Yeah, it looks like it.

1731
01:33:43,000 --> 01:33:46,000
Why's everyone bowing to her?

1732
01:33:46,000 --> 01:33:48,000
Oh, sweet sword!

1733
01:33:48,000 --> 01:33:52,000
That's Adam. What's he kneeling at her feet for?

1734
01:33:52,000 --> 01:33:55,000
She... she bent that sword into the fire.

1735
01:33:55,000 --> 01:33:58,000
Ah! Fucking burned his face off.

1736
01:33:58,000 --> 01:33:59,000
What the fuck?

1737
01:33:59,000 --> 01:34:03,000
That was fucked up.

1738
01:34:03,000 --> 01:34:05,000
Look, it's me, and I'm Captain.

1739
01:34:05,000 --> 01:34:06,000
Oh, wicked.

1740
01:34:06,000 --> 01:34:08,000
And I'm kissing T'Pol?

1741
01:34:08,000 --> 01:34:11,000
You fucking what? Let me see you wanker.

1742
01:34:11,000 --> 01:34:13,000
Don't! I'm watching this.

1743
01:34:13,000 --> 01:34:16,000
Don't... change the... the dial.

1744
01:34:16,000 --> 01:34:17,000
Get off me!

1745
01:34:17,000 --> 01:34:18,000
No!

1746
01:34:18,000 --> 01:34:20,000
T'Pol's mine!

1747
01:34:20,000 --> 01:34:24,000
You fucking idiot.

1748
01:34:24,000 --> 01:34:26,000
Me? You're the fucking idiot.

1749
01:34:26,000 --> 01:34:28,000
It's pulling us in!

1750
01:34:28,000 --> 01:34:33,000
Oh, oh, oh!

1751
01:34:58,000 --> 01:35:06,000
Channel84.co.uk and TJ. TJ? I nearly got it wrong again. TJ at Channel84.co.uk.

1752
01:35:06,000 --> 01:35:09,000
We are part of the Studio Channel84 collection of indie podcasts.

1753
01:35:09,000 --> 01:35:19,000
You can also listen to Karen and Adam at The Lightly Used and Simon and Ross at Who Takes the Socks Off and I Didn't Fuck It Up.

1754
01:35:19,000 --> 01:35:30,000
Thank you very much. Send your answers for the six sci-fi items in or shows, I should say, in Guess the Intro.

1755
01:35:30,000 --> 01:35:32,000
Now, is this the one I'm thinking of?

1756
01:35:32,000 --> 01:35:37,000
I'm just going to very quickly check my notes because I have a slightly special Guess the Intro coming up.

1757
01:35:37,000 --> 01:35:39,000
Is it this one?

1758
01:35:39,000 --> 01:35:42,000
No. Episode six is the next one.

1759
01:35:42,000 --> 01:35:45,000
Yeah. So this is one, two, three, four, five.

1760
01:35:45,000 --> 01:35:51,000
There's six in this one for you to get. And that's it. Thank you very much.

1761
01:35:51,000 --> 01:35:59,000
Remember, email or DM me on one of the socials. If you get them all right, get a shout out.

1762
01:35:59,000 --> 01:36:00,000
Yeah. Thank you.

1763
01:36:00,000 --> 01:36:03,000
Thank you, everybody. Love you. Bye. Bye.

1764
01:36:07,000 --> 01:36:11,000
Thank you for listening to the Untitled Sci-Fi Show.

1765
01:36:11,000 --> 01:36:16,000
This station is now shutting down and will be back in two weeks.

1766
01:36:16,000 --> 01:36:35,000
May the Force live long and prosper inside of you.

1767
01:36:35,000 --> 01:36:53,000
This was a Studio Channel 84 network show. To find more, head over to channel84.co.uk now.

1768
01:36:53,000 --> 01:37:04,000
I think we're all beginning to lose sight of the real issue here, which is what are we going to call ourselves?

1769
01:37:04,000 --> 01:37:12,000
And I think it comes down to a choice between the League Against Salivating Monsters or my own personal preference,

1770
01:37:12,000 --> 01:37:19,000
which is the Committee for the Liberation and Integration of Terrifying Organisms and their Rehabilitation into Society.

1771
01:37:19,000 --> 01:37:23,000
One drawback with that, the abbreviation is clitoris.