Explain as you would a child.
That's our one hour for lunch everybody.
I think I'll have soup today.
Hello and welcome to the Untitled Sci-Fi Show.
Hi Rob.
Hello mate, how are you doing?
I'm not too bad, I don't know why I waved at you but...
Hi!
Yeah, I'm really good thanks bud.
I made a good choice of a film this week and really enjoyed watching it and it's been a bit of a chill out week, it's not been too bad.
Yeah?
Oh it's half term holidays remember so...
Oh yeah.
Monday I was stuck in London, well not stuck, I took Kay to London for the day just to have a nice little kind of day trip.
And then T wanted to spend the night at Nanny and Grandpa's so literally Monday, London, drop Kay off at home, then pick up T, take him to Nanny and Grandpa's, spend the night with him there and then work for my mum's on Tuesday.
So it was a bit of a chaotic two days.
You stay with him.
Yeah, he would have stayed on his own but we just thought for his first time at Nanny and, this Nanny and Grandpa's on his own that I'd go with him so I don't think he'd have a problem, next time he'd probably just kick me out the front door knowing him.
It's a good idea, I might have to do that with my T because he does say he wants to stay over there but I think he's too young to go on his own.
You see, I took him over, I shared the bed with him and he was absolutely fine.
That actually meant I got some single time with my parents which I don't often get.
Yeah, I think I have to try something like that.
What have we been doing?
This isn't the section.
This isn't the section, no.
Hey Sweden!
That's Swedish, man, not Norwegian.
Right, first things first is guess the intro.
It is guess the intro.
I don't write call sheets down so we've got every episode we just...
What is it, what's the saying? Flying by the seat of your pants.
Skinner your balls, all that sort of thing.
So you did very well, only one you didn't get.
Yes.
So I'm going to play them and you're going to let me know what you think.
All Detroit has a cancer. Cancer is crime.
So that was easy, that was Robocop.
So it might sound a bit different.
I'm playing the vocals only version so there might be a bit of silence in between as it goes through each one.
That's the way I do it when I do the trailers.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So they're thinking he only has a vocal version so that's boring everybody.
That is fine.
The light that burns twice as bright burns half as long and you have burned so very, very brightly, Roy.
So I paused that halfway through.
So that was Blade Runner.
That is Blade Runner, absolutely.
I think I should have cut that little bit at the end off.
Yeah, possibly, but you know what?
It's too late.
I think that's what gave it away.
Could be a monkey or a orangutan.
A bald monkey.
I just really like that.
It's a really fun bit.
It was a great.
I'm not a fan of the film.
It's ET.
You know what?
It used to freak me out as a child.
It's never freaked me out.
Not like Willy Wonka, but I just find it a bit annoying and I think it's just because I've seen it so many times.
It's all up until they find him looking like a grey dog turd laying in the river.
That bit freaks me out then.
I don't know why it used to freak me out.
I'm sure it doesn't now, but as a kid, I just didn't like it and it freaked me out and the whole thing.
Them whizzing him away and all the medical team and all of that.
It's just, I don't know.
It just, I didn't like it.
There's a really good ride in Universal in Florida for ET.
That's a really fun.
What, ET the ReSUS?
Quickly save ET's life.
Someone get on his chest.
Go!
Keep him clear.
So you go on these bikes, as you would.
So everyone has their own bike.
So at the beginning, you have to give them your name and they type it in the machine and they give you a supposed passport or like a pass to get into the FBI, CAI, government section where they're holding ET.
And you go in and then you get put on these bikes, push bikes, and you're going along and then, yeah, then ET's in the basket in front and they fly around and then you end up on his planet.
So you see his planet with his mum or his wife or someone's a woman ET there, which is very odd.
Who are we seeing in Star Wars Episode 1 looking over all of the...
Yeah, pretty much that one.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And then...
The prostate exams that happen at that point.
Yeah, then one shoots off and they get prostate exams.
Look at the cat.
So there's a cat in a box.
Got a cat in a box.
And then at the end, he waves at everybody and he goes, thank you, goodbye.
And then he says the names, but they never could.
He didn't know Rob.
He knew Robert.
So, and the very first time we ever went as a family, my name was the only one we heard it say.
He was like, thank you, Robert.
So it was like this ongoing joke between me and my dad now, whenever, because we were lucky enough,
we went a few times, whenever we'd go, he'd be like, do you want to go on that ride?
Robert.
Can you imagine that?
That's probably done with an AI voice thing.
It's probably done with an API.
Oh yeah, you rubbish now.
And one day someone will forget to pay for that licence and it will be, thank you, API key limit reached.
You've reached your key limit.
Back out of credits.
Subscription expired.
Right, next one, next one.
You know how I cracked it?
I don't know how you did any of this.
This is the one that I didn't get.
You had to tell me this one.
And I love the film.
I thought the film was absolutely brilliant.
I saw it in the cinema.
I got it on DVD as soon as it came out.
It was Ex Machina, or Ex Machina, however you pronounce it.
So, um.
Is it terrorists?
This came from someplace else.
What do you mean, like Europe?
No, Robbie, not like Europe.
Right, so this is War of the Worlds and it's the stupidest fucking lie.
I could have sworn if I'd heard that line, I would have said that was the scary movie version of War of the Worlds they did, because it's so stupid.
I know, that's why I chose it.
But the thing is, there's not many quotable parts of it.
No, it's little Tommy Crews running around the place.
I was hunting around on YouTube for different quotes and stuff.
I thought we were playing footsie, but it's the dog head by my feet.
And a lot of it was just shouting and lots of music.
It's got a really loud score, as you can hear from that.
It's hard to get any vocals without the music.
Amazing music, but for the purposes as I needed it, it was a bit unfortunate.
But I just like that scene.
They're in the car when it's just happened, he's got his son and his daughter.
She's like mid panic attack.
And then the son's like climbing forward.
See, I've never liked her as an actress.
And I didn't like War of the Worlds.
The young lady.
Yeah, I've never liked whatever character she's in.
She's always been precocious.
And you just want to slap her.
That's a word, isn't it?
Precocious.
It is a word, it's a good word.
It is a lovely word.
Dictionary word of the day, precocious.
Would you like to know more?
Come on, everyone.
And everyone knows just from even that little bit more.
Starship Troopers.
Starship Troopers, yeah.
That's it.
That was, I guess, the intro.
And I must watch Starship Troopers 2 at some point just to see how bad it's got to be bad.
Yeah, I'd love to see it.
It's got to be like Universal Soldier 2 and Universal Soldier 3.
Well, number two I've seen, Universal Soldier The Return.
It's awful.
Well, I mean, Starship Troopers is on the list for us to watch at some point.
So maybe we'll do that and then we'll do number two.
Or maybe we'll just go straight to number two.
Because we've all seen number one.
We all love it.
Starship Troopers, Starship Poopers.
Yeah.
So that's it.
Nobody won.
No shout outs.
Nobody won that one.
No, I didn't actually have any people even actually write in.
So did we ask people to write in last time?
Or did we just say because Stiddies won the prize, that was it?
And did we forget to say?
No, you get shout outs.
If you get it right, you get a shout out.
If you're the first person to get it right, you get a super shout out.
Whatever that means, I'll make it up on the spot.
And I put it up on socials a few days after the episode comes out for those that, you
know, there's a lot of people that follow us that don't actually listen to the show.
Yeah.
So I'm sure out of the 400 people that follow me on Blue Sky, they ain't listening.
They're all too busy with American politics.
Checkmate.
Cheating bitch.
Right.
What have you been doing?
Go on then.
I've got 13.
We're on a timely bit, all right?
Okay.
No, it's not as bad as last week.
You've got a five minute section count this time.
Me and Kay started Ghostbusters Frozen Empire.
Oh nice.
Yeah.
She really liked the look of it.
We've got about a third of the way through and we've been watching it before bed and
just as the big scary ghost is going to get sucked out of whatever it is and escape.
So we thought we'll probably leave it there and we'll start watching it during the day
at the moment because I don't want her having problems sleeping because of ghosts.
She's very impressionable.
Let's put it that way.
So I thought we'll move that to a daytime watch now and that way she can just say no,
stop, and then we'll watch something happy.
Non-sci-fi film I watched with her that she loved by the way, The Mighty Ducks.
The original one.
The original.
Of course the original.
They're great, aren't they?
Oh really?
It might be a series.
There's a series.
I thought they carried on because the clips I've seen in the series is them moaning that
it's all modern day and Coach Bombay is there and they're kind of all saying he's the original
Mysy Duck.
He should be getting an award.
None of this crap.
So I don't know.
Maybe it does carry it on.
Maybe it's meant to be Mysy Duck's future.
I don't know.
But she watched it.
She really enjoyed it.
She wants to watch the second one.
I'm happy.
Yeah.
It's been a very long time since I've seen my...
I don't remember it even remotely.
Loads of swearing.
Is it 12?
NASA PG.
It's typical Disney PG back in the era.
You got piss, bitch.
There's a fair few others in there.
Just randomly thrown in.
But it's just that weird American world.
Those aren't considered swears.
But if you say damn well God, war.
Oh dear.
Anyway, moving on from that.
The only other sci-fi stuff we've watched is I'm getting Gem to go through all of the
Alien films like you did with Miranda.
We watched Alien a few weeks ago and she really enjoyed it.
We've just finished watching Aliens.
I did give her the choice.
I said look, we can go to Romulus, which is chronologically correct, or we can go by film
release.
She said no, no one else got to see it like that.
So no, I want to watch it in the film releases.
That's right.
That's how I think you should watch all of them.
In the order they were released.
So we're going by release.
So we had Aliens.
Her words were I enjoyed it.
I can't say which I preferred between Alien and Aliens as they're both such different
films.
It's so funny to hear other people say this.
It just seems to be like the universal opinion of those two films.
It's like the playground arguments of the 80s.
Spectrum versus the Commodore 64.
You're either a Speccy kid or you're a Commodore kid.
And it's like that with Alien and Aliens, isn't it?
You're either an Alien or you're an Aliens.
We don't hate each other.
Yeah, we don't hate each other.
But the thing is, is they are such different films.
I can understand actually her judgment on that.
And it's the preferable way of dealing with it, isn't it?
Alien is a phenomenal film.
It's a horror thriller.
Whereas you've got Aliens, which is an action film.
I look forward to hear what she says about Alien 3.
You know what?
I haven't seen it for so long.
I'm looking forward to watching it.
I know it's not necessarily the worst of the bunch because let's face it, we haven't got
a resurrection yet.
And we've also said we are not touching AVP with a barge pole.
They don't exist.
Yeah.
So we have just watched, I'd say all six of the Alien films.
You know, the first, the fourth, then Prometheus, Covenant.
Excuse me.
And I would say that of the Alien films, they get progressively worse.
I think.
No, I agree.
The storyline gets worse and worse.
I mean, bear in mind with resurrection.
They clone her just to get an Alien, which makes no sense at all.
Why on earth would her DNA have an Alien already in her chest?
DNA doesn't work like that.
Yeah.
That's, that was a weird plot point that I thought too.
It's like when you take a little strand of DNA, it's not their entire how they, it's
not like a snapshot of what they were.
Isn't it?
You could go back to LV421 because don't forget, all that blows up is the processing plant
of their home.
And okay, yeah, it's going to take up to like 30 clicks.
I think they say a 40 clicks kind of area.
It's going to decimate.
For all we know, the Alien ship wasn't that close.
It could have been further away from that, which I would have assumed it would have been
further away than that.
Yeah.
It's technically, if you're terraforming an area, you're not going to land and go, oh,
what's that over there?
Oh, don't worry about it.
We'll just ignore it.
It's a sensible option for Wayne and Jutani to do rather than spending all that time and
money cloning what eighth, was she the eighth one or the seventh one?
Something like that.
All those failures beforehand.
And that's already fucked up scene as well, by the way.
The other, the failed claim.
Yeah.
Oh, well, here's the thing.
I need to kill this clone of me.
What's the best way to do it?
No, put your gun away.
I'm going to flamethrower.
I'm going to watch it slowly roast and see if it smells like chicken.
I'm just going to burn you alive and just listen to you scream.
No, no, no, don't shoot.
No, don't put her out of misery.
Let's watch.
Make sure she dies.
Yeah.
It's been about 30 seconds still screaming.
Don't you shoot her.
It's a terrible film.
It is really.
When people said how bad Alien 3 is, I don't think any of them expected Alien 4 to be.
Oh boy.
Yeah.
And then.
I mean, it's the equivalent of Terminator Dark Fate for the Alien franchise.
Yeah, I think so.
And then the other two, Covenant and what was the other one called?
Prometheus and Covenant.
It goes Prometheus first and Covenant.
They're both, as I said to you privately, imagine they're not Alien films.
That Prometheus is easier to imagine it's not an Alien film.
Yes.
And if you do that, I actually think it's quite a good film.
Yeah.
And if you'd got rid of the idea of the Xenomorph and made it a slightly different design, you
didn't go for the Geiger style designs.
Yeah, you're right.
You could have made that just a purely sci-fi film.
Wonderful.
Really good fun.
I like the bits that do tie in with what we know, but not enough of it ties in to make
it, oh, this is good.
I mean, bear in mind.
So the ship that David takes off in, sorry, the ship they find has crashed.
They then take off and that lands where Covenant happens, which by the way must mean that planet
is LV-241 or 421 because that's the same fucking ship, remember?
That's meant to be the same ship.
Yeah.
Which also means then they went to LV-421 and this entire old civilization that's been
wiped out wasn't picked up from the scanning.
They didn't fly around the planet and go, oh look, there's an ancient civilization used
to be here.
I can only assume the storms destroy it because there's lots of weird storms.
Yeah.
There's just not enough is explained or too much is left to not actually work properly.
Yeah.
Because yeah, that ship that he took is meant to be the ship they see in the first Alien
film because you've got the pilot-
Not the ship that he took in the second film.
As in not, because he takes a ship-
Prometheus, they take the ship at the end of Prometheus.
Oh, yeah, sorry, but then he takes-
That's the ship that's meant to be in the first Alien.
Right.
Sorry, I was getting confused then because he flies off in the ship with all the humans
in at the end of Covenant, doesn't he?
He steals the human ship.
They take the ship at the end of Prometheus.
Yeah, they do and they crash that into the planet in Covenant, which basically means
that is LV-421.
That's meant to be LV-421.
But it's got an entire ancient civilization on there and no one noticed.
Yeah, I don't know.
Yeah, plot holes.
This is why you have to just pretend it's not Alien film.
They also leave the planet absolutely running with aliens.
Yeah.
They weren't there in the first film.
It was just the facehuggers and a single alien.
Well-
And they went in the ship.
You could argue it's a big planet and maybe they all migrate to a different part of the
planet.
It's like saying there's a lot of people in China.
Yeah, but you could argue that, but in Aliens, she tells the story and then you're led to
believe that basically Burt goes off and tells the people, the terraformers, the colonists,
there's a ship nearby.
You haven't seen it, go and look and see if it's there.
And then, oh, we've lost contact with it.
So that ship is meant to be full of aliens or facehuggers, at least we know.
It's just too much of Prometheus and Covenant didn't work with what was currently known
because of Alien and Aliens.
It's almost like they kind of said, oh, I know we've got to fit it in with these two
films, but we've already had the ideas about what we want to do.
So we're going to do that and just really, really try and shoehorn it in.
I know you're a size 11, but...
Sorry, yeah, I know you're a size 11, but all we've got is a size nine shoe.
You won't mind it for like 10 minutes.
Actually you do.
They do this with films sometimes is that they get scripts for other films and then
they work them into being scripts for different films.
So you could, I think there's an argument for saying Prometheus could very well have
been a half script for its own sci-fi and then was picked up by them as like, let's
change this a bit.
We can make this Alien prequel and then they're stuck with certain choices there to then move
and then like, oh, this actually did really well.
Let's do another one.
We've got Fastbender in, we can get him in again.
I mean, wasn't Prometheus and Covenant, one of them was Ridley Scott, wasn't it?
The second one was Ridley Scott, I'm pretty sure, yeah.
Well, I'll double check it, but yeah, it's...
It was just, yeah, for me, it was no way near the quality of any of them.
Even Alien 3, in my opinion, is better than Prometheus or Covenant.
I don't know.
I think that...
You're right, Ridley Scott for Covenant and for Prometheus.
Oh, for Aprius as well, did he?
Yeah, which is, I know he's not the writer, he's the director, so you can't go by that,
can you?
You've got to go by the writers of this.
But as a director, wouldn't you have said, I remember the original goal of the first
film.
This doesn't really work.
Prometheus is better than Covenant, that I feel comfortable in saying.
Covenant just...
Some of the CGI choices they made for the aliens just looked awful.
And then the story just...
Because we've tiered these films before already, but now after kind of watching them all again,
yeah, there's some...
The fourth one is the worst one, I think, without counting Alien versus Predator.
I haven't seen... because if you go on Disney and they categorize all the films together,
so AVP gets put in there, and then the second AVP films in there, and then so is Prey.
I haven't seen Prey yet.
I haven't seen Prey, but it got highly rated.
So I would actually really like to see that at some point.
But that's just Predator, right?
I don't think that's...
That's it.
There's no Alien as far as I'm aware in there.
So then how come the other two Predator films aren't placed in there?
So Predator 1 and 2, why aren't they in this group?
If they're putting Prey, which is supposedly a prequel to any of the Predator stuff, why
has that been bundled in?
Don't forget, so the Alien versus Predator thing happened.
There were two reasons it happened.
You had a cartoon, a comic strip that was made of Alien versus Predator.
I thought the game was the first thing.
Was the game the first thing?
I just thought that.
I don't know if it's true.
So there was definitely a game...
Oh no, what the...
The one on the PC?
No, no, no.
So there was an Alien versus Predator before that.
Oh, what was it?
Oh, it was on the...
The Speccy or something?
Atari Jaguar.
Oh, okay.
And that was a first person shooter.
It's one of the...
It's actually a very good first person shooter.
The computer one's great.
Oh, the whole story about how I won that one.
I can tell you that.
That's an amazing game.
But no, there was a comic strip of Alien versus Predator, pretty similar to the comic strips
that released a Robocop versus Terminator.
It was just one of those 70s...
Not 70s, 80s or 90s mishmash things that...
What would happen if this happened?
So they did it.
And obviously you'd got Predator 1, which is a phenomenal film.
You've got Predator 2, which actually I really like.
People don't like...
I like Predator 2.
And you've got the bit where Danny Garver goes into the Predator ship and there's the
Xenomorph skull.
So there's your tie, basically.
That's the really, really loose tie of them going, let's make an Alien versus Predator
film because now we can say they've been coming to Earth hunting the Xenomorphs.
And it's just...
The biggest problem with it.
Do you remember the first AVP?
Okay, well at the very end, there's the lead female character and there's one Predator
left.
Is this in the pyramid?
Yes.
Okay.
That's the one I remember.
She helps the Predator and they escape together.
And then what?
He takes her skull?
Because why would you have her?
Realistically, if that was a real Predator, it'd be, right, thanks.
You got me out.
Punch through the forehead, you're dead.
There is absolutely zero chance they would be like, oh, okay, I'm not going to kill you.
There is zero respect there.
The reason Danny Glover didn't get killed was because he killed a fucking Predator.
He got respect for being a hunter because he killed the hunter.
She cut him loose.
He's going to be like...
Is the idea that Predators are a race that they have to, almost like Spartans, and they
have to do this Predator thing to mature in part of their social...
I honestly don't know.
I don't know if it's a social growth age thing, if it's just that they're a...
They just progress so far.
They like hunting and that's what they do.
I'm sure it is explained at some point.
I think it's explained in Predators, funny enough, the Adrian Brody film, which again
is just sheer trash.
I think they kind of explain it as, oh, they're a race of just hunters.
That's it.
That's all they do.
Nah, you got to have more than that.
Sorry.
No, I agree.
It's piss poor.
But anyway, sorry.
I'm going to drag it on again.
Oh, I wasn't reaching for the button.
I was putting my hand here.
No, no, no, no.
I'm just realising, Edgy, I have dragged this one on by just saying the word aliens, but
not monkeys this time.
I don't know what the hell's in there, but it's weird and pissed off, whatever it is.
What have you...
What?
Let's try that one again.
What have you watched, Rob?
I've been watching all the alien films.
Excellent.
Okay, shall we move on?
I'd say what I had been doing, you didn't see it because the screensaver came on just
before he came round.
We watched the first episode of Reacher.
Oh, season three?
Yep.
Oh, I can't wait for you to watch it.
I haven't watched season one or two yet.
I've only seen the clips of the sexy man-man thing.
You've never watched it?
I've only seen the sick top clips.
Oh my God, they're so good, TJ.
You'll really enjoy it.
They are genuinely very, very good.
I've got to watch those and because he's in it and Henry Cavill's in it, I've got to
watch the Ministry of Un-Gentlemenary Warfare as well.
Oh yeah, I'd like to watch that too, yeah.
Which I'm really looking forward to.
I just haven't had a chance to watch it.
That's on my list and I will start watching Reacher then.
I got a little bit annoyed because there's a shot of him in his boxer shorts and he's
blurred in the background.
I was like, get into focus!
And he doesn't get into focus for the whole shot.
I was like, what else have I been doing?
As you, I've played a little bit of trading card game simulator.
Trading card game shop simulator is...
I've lost too much time to it.
So much time dedicated to building my shop.
I've been almost for the past four days with the game, I've been changing the shop design
to see how best to lay it out.
I've got two auto centers to get the smelly people now and it still doesn't get them.
So I then still end up getting my little can of deodorant and spraying people.
You need to because they have to be sprayed twice.
That's what I've noticed.
I've got it right by the door.
So if they come in, they get sprayed.
And then if they come across the shop again, they'll get sprayed.
It's just really simple game and I know it's early access, but a lot of work's been put
into it.
The mechanics are actually really solid.
So what I'd like to see is more progression on that now.
So obviously the idea of the game people is to you own a shop and you sell this fictional
trading card game, which they've made.
I think there's over 200 cards, I think, that they've had artwork done.
They've got rules on health, but everything's done just like Pokemon cards.
And they've made all of these and you've got to basically buy licenses, choose what packs
you're going to sell, what additional things you're going to sell.
You put tables for people to play the game in.
People come in and try and sell you the card.
Then you can sell the individual card.
You can open the card packets yourself and then sell them if you want.
It's really in-depth, but I'd like to see the card grading would be nice to come in.
Oh no, the card's a bit shitty, so we'll sell it at this price.
There's a fair few bits I'm looking forward to, especially decorating it like posters and
stuff because it's a bit bland at the moment.
I mark everything up.
As soon as it's on the shelf, you only actually have to press plus 10%, but I press market
price then 10.
The reason you do it is because the market price changes.
So every now and again, go out to press market price plus 10.
If I sell single cards, because you can open the card packs yourself, everything's 20%.
And then I watch what everyone says.
And if they go, oh, this is a good price, go over it, round it up, or add 10% until
they complain.
So that's the right price.
I've been doing 10% and round because that means I'm quicker on the till because there's
no sorting out pennies and stuff.
Yeah, I'm the same.
Do you ever get to the point where you're like, you fucker just gave me a 50 that only
cost you a few pence and now I'm there counting out all this fucking change.
And I'll be like, if there's some of them, I'll give them all one piece.
I'll sit and I'll tap one P 20 times.
So you've changed it to pounds and pennies as well.
Yeah, I'm like, fuck you, mate.
You can have 21 piece for that.
Yeah, it's just funny.
I've always liked simulation games.
They're my thing.
Sim City, especially in the Sims, both just key games of my childhood.
The original Sim City on Atari ST was the first one I played.
Sim City 2000 at my mate, Sim City 3000 at home, then the original Sim.
They are just my bread and butter for games.
And then this came along and it's like, actually, this is novel.
It's just different.
And I didn't even think about getting this.
The original one I looked at was going to be supermarket simulator where you set up
your own little supermarket.
That'd be quite cool.
You have to start off as a little news agent and then build it up.
And then I just saw someone to put that and this one had so much higher kind of ratings.
So, yeah, and yeah, there's a mod for it.
Turns all the cards to Pokemon cards.
And the man or the development team, sorry, are looking at introduces so you can actually
start playing the card game so you can sit at the table and play the game with people.
So it will be an actual playable game.
There's just lots of things about it that's really, really nice.
It's fun.
We're going to check each other's shop out of them after recording.
Absolutely.
What else?
I've been playing more Final Fantasy.
I had a terrible realization when I was like, I'm on chapter seven.
Okay, that's quite far.
I've been playing it for 30 hours.
Okay, let me just see how many chapters there are.
14.
Shit.
I'm not going to get a point from this game anytime soon.
So I have been playing that and avowed came out the other day.
So I had a little guy and avowed.
Sorry, if anyone can hear the microphones going crazy.
That's the dog under the table whacking into his heads at one end, his tails at the other
hitting both mic stands.
That's again by a city in a little bit kind of like Elder Scrolls.
Are you that kind of it's all right.
The controls that I think the controls are odd.
I'm sure it's fine on the computer when the controller all feels really floaty.
I had to like turn all the dead zones to basically zero.
So I felt like I moved and then there's a head Bob, which you can turn off but doesn't
actually turn off.
Oh, useful.
I guess on the computer called mouse acceleration, but they don't have a similar thing on the
controller.
So when you push further to the end, it's faster.
Yeah.
And but it's even with the dead zones being to zero, meaning as soon as you press the
control stick, it moves.
It really slowly ramps up to it and it just makes I don't feel like I'm connected to the
character.
Oh yeah, you get that weird disconnect where like you in sludge or very similar if you've
ever played a game where you've played an online game and you've got lag.
Yeah.
So you're walking forward, but it feels like your character is actually walking forward
a little bit behind what you're trying to do.
Everything's disjointed.
And we're talking like a millisecond.
It's just enough that you notice it, but not enough that it's going to stop you playing
it.
But there's just something.
And the other thing is like you, I don't feel like I'm in a world.
It's a very pretty looking game.
The characters are cool and all the conversations.
I'm playing a wanker.
I don't often play wankers in games, but something about this one, same with Baldur's Gate.
When I play that little times I play that, I'm playing a wanker.
I don't know why I chose chosen these.
So they've gone for looks over substance.
I think they've gone for looks first above all else and the rest of the game has appeared
after that.
And you know, it's little things.
Okay.
There's a table in front of you.
Looks beautifully crafted table, lovely textures on it.
It's got bowls of fruit.
If I hit that bowl of fruit, the bowl of fruit should fall over.
No, this is all you see.
You cannot do that in this day and age.
The fact that the 1997 game Duke Nukem 3D, you could walk around.
There's a toilet there, shot it.
Boom, it's gone.
Shoot your iron.
Boom.
Water's pissing out of it.
Oh, look, snooker table.
Shoot the balls.
They ping around the table with physics and you can pop them.
The fact you could do that in a 1997 build engine game in current generation stuff, nothing
should not be destructible.
So I watched a comparison video today, avowed versus oblivion.
So oblivion, if you shoot a tree with an arrow wedged locks into the tree.
Sounds like wood.
Shoot stone wall, falls on the floor.
Nine avowed, sticks to everything.
And sometimes it sticks to it with a good massive gap between the end of the arrow and
the wall.
You walk up into a shop or anywhere in oblivion.
Every single item has got physics.
You walk into a table, you knock everything off the table.
Nothing happens in avowed.
You, I don't think the arrows.
You shoot arrow straight up in the air in oblivion.
They come back down again.
They never come back down again in avowed.
They just disappear into the void.
You walk up to into a shop and steal something off the counter.
Everyone fucking hates you in oblivion.
Like the shop owner will start berating you.
Unless you put a bucket over their head so they can't see.
Yeah.
The shop owner will start berating you.
If you keep doing it, they'll go and find a guard.
The guards will then chase you, put you in jail.
And they don't forget.
Or find you or kill you.
Nothing happens in avowed.
You walk into a town in oblivion and you can attack any NPC.
The only NPCs you can't kill are story mission NPCs.
Side mission NPCs you can kill and you just fail the side mission.
Story mission ones you can't.
In avowed, you cannot attack anybody who isn't an enemy.
Let's face it, oblivion is an old game now.
I know.
19 years old I'm pretty sure.
I know there's the constant joke that even by the time GTA 6 will come out, there'll
be another race of Elder Scrolls, Oblivion or whatever.
Skyrim is the one they were saying.
Skyrim, isn't it?
Yeah.
Oblivion, release today.
Elder Scrolls, Skyrim.
It's like, oh for fuck's sake.
But you can't release a modern game of that style and expect people to accept that now.
Because that's absolutely rotten.
I mean, I know it's not the same style game.
It's a first person shooter I'm talking about here, but it's a stalker.
Shadow of Chernobyl.
That was probably the first game that I remember playing where NPCs properly remember what
you did and it affects how you play the game.
And I was a dick in that game.
Everyone I came across got killed no matter if they were good or evil.
And it got to the point I could not complete the game.
I got about halfway through and then basically the bad guys wanted to kill me.
The good guys wanted to kill me.
No one would give me health.
No one would give me ammo.
I couldn't go anywhere without being shot at from both sides.
I'd completely fucked the game.
I'd ruined it for myself.
So I had to go back and start all over again and actually not be such an asshole.
But that was good.
And again, talking about physics, best one for that.
And I wish I still had the video of it.
At the very beginning of Stalker, you're in this kind of little, and they're not caravans,
but they're kind of mobile home bits and you're going through and you've got to get your gun.
You get given your first mission and you head out.
And one of the things you come across is these three men stood around a fire.
One's got a guitar and he's playing happily along and they're just NPCs.
And I remember throwing a grenade into these people and exploding and the guitar just disappeared.
I thought, oh well, everything's blown up.
Literally then started walking about 15 seconds later.
This guitar randomly lands next to me.
It's like, there it is.
Yeah, the old games that as something that Oblivion used to do, that would happen.
Exactly.
But no, I don't accept that.
You cannot release a game to anybody now and expect them to accept that standard that you've
told us.
No.
Yeah.
The thing is that graphically, it's very pretty.
There's one last thing I want to say about that game in particular is that opening chest
is proper blue balls as you.
It's so dissatisfying.
You see this beautifully massive chest.
It's got sparkly noises.
It's very good looking.
Gold sparkles and all kinds of things.
And you go, boom, great noise.
And you go to opening, it's like shink.
It creaks open a little bit like that and then just stops and then you get all the items.
Oh.
I want to hear a crunch, the whole leg come off the top.
Sea of Thieves style.
Yeah.
Sea of Thieves has got great chest opening.
Exactly.
Yeah.
And yeah, it really just like, it's like it's just about to deep throw you but then he walks
off.
Yeah.
And he's just there ready to help you out a little bit, finish yourself off.
So it's like, right.
We spent 300 hours developing the world.
Yeah.
It looks beautiful.
Doesn't it?
How long did we spend on the story?
Well, I don't know about the story so far.
What I have liked about the writing and someone else who I watch on YouTube, Co Carnage, his
name is, he's got, I think he's the same age as us.
He's like got kids.
He seems like a dad who plays games.
I think you'd like him.
He played like the Dragon Age Veil Guard that came out recently and slated that saying that
it's the writers that have ruined this game.
Whereas this one is like the writers done a good job.
Like you're having conversations.
You feel like you're actually having a conversation with someone who's in the world because they're
giving you law back.
They're not trying to pass some social critique on to you that isn't part of this world.
It's all in world.
It's all great.
I would say so far why I've actually a lot of times some of these games, I do skip the
tech sometimes I just, I just want to find something.
Fuck off.
I don't actually care about talking to you right now.
I know exactly what I'll get the test.
I'll get the quest tracker.
That's enough.
Was this one I've actually enjoyed speaking to.
I've only played like two hours of it.
So my probably not even two hours, but what the conversations I have had of it, I've actually
reasonably enjoyed.
But yeah, anyway, last thing.
So about I've been playing the thing game.
Oh, PS two one.
Yes.
The re re master of it.
Oh, okay.
This is on the PS five, but it is.
So I had the Xbox one originally, the original Xbox one.
I played on that originally.
And now I own it still on the original Xbox.
And I think I have a PS two version of it as well.
And then the remaster come out and it's so I question why I gave me some vouchers at
Christmas.
So I brought it back.
Oh, nice.
And yeah, it's just as good as I remember it.
It's the first game I played with T. So when T was probably so just before he was born.
So before it would give him PTSD.
But yeah, he didn't can easily age.
You wouldn't be able to see the TV.
Just for his born.
I got it on eBay.
Do you remember I told you a story?
I do.
Yes.
And loads of games got an Xbox.
I was playing it on that and he was sat on my lap and was looking in the direction of
the screen, which I'm pretty sure they can't see more than a few feet.
No, just be light and colour.
But I was playing that.
So that's kind of like a thing I've got as a memory that the first game we played together
was the thing.
So playing the remaster remaster is great.
How much does it follow the film?
It's, it doesn't follow film.
It's a sequel.
Oh, it's a sequel.
It follows on straight from the end.
Oh, yeah.
So the obviously this is going to be full of spoilers for the thing.
So I can talk about it.
I can't tell Miranda because she she hasn't seen the end.
Well, no, she has now.
Yeah.
So I can talk about some random because now she's seen the end of the thing.
So where are they all die at the end of the thing?
So you now play another group of military people coming to find out where the fucking
hell is everybody?
Why have we not heard from the station?
And then you go to the Norwegian station first, I think, find the spaceship.
Oh, what the fuck's all this?
Then you go to the American one.
That's where the game happens.
Right.
And you find the tape recordings from that he left, he left and then obviously it all
starts going wrong because the thing is still there.
So it didn't die when didn't die.
Oh, because as you know, from the film, it's every single cell is a thing.
Yes.
You know, an arm gets chopped off.
Well, that's now another entity of the thing.
It's like a big.
Yeah.
Kind of a bad thing to blow up, I guess.
But we'll talk about that.
Yeah, I've got a comment about that.
Let's get on to that.
We're going to draw a little bit of everybody's blood.
We're going to find out who's the thing.
So the, in my opinion, masterpiece, John Carpenter's The Thing, 1982.
Yeah, it's one of the and now I'm going to be honest here.
Never seen it before.
It's not one that I sat down and watched.
I know all the main clips for it, all the main bits that almost anyone knows when you
talk about the thing like the CPR scene, you know, the bits people know because they're
the most kind of televised bits of like some of the best sci fi or best practical effects
or most gory things.
So people will have seen them.
I've never actually sat through the whole film.
And I would say having done that now, it is definitely one of the top films of all time
it is one of my favorites.
I watched it because my old man just, he had it on VHS and I would always see it there
and always loved the box art.
Yeah, the box art's brilliant with the fur kind of outline of the coat, but no face.
Yeah.
And the just the way the thing is written as well, just the font and the kind of design
of the logo of it is just like really eye catching.
It's a really attractive look.
And he would go on about it all the times and he'd be like, the thing's going to get
you and never ever explained to me what it was.
Kind of the way he told me about Deliverance without ever telling me what was in Deliverance,
just telling me I had to watch it.
It's the similar kind of things.
Like you just have to watch this film.
And I can understand that.
And you cannot do and I'm not expecting us to do justice to the thing by just talking
about it.
If you haven't seen it, you've got to just watch it.
And we're not talking about the modern remake of it.
Oh dear God, don't watch the modern one.
The 1982 original, because that is all you need.
And it stands up perfectly because the practical effects are so fucking brilliant and really
like hands over your eyes, kind of gruesome.
There's a couple really decent jump scares.
Yes.
You know, the testing scene, there's a jump scare there.
It gets me every single time, every time the jump scare gets me.
It's even quite funny.
There's some moments of actual kind of dark humour kind of comedy thing, you know, when
like get me out of this fucking chair.
When the thing dog version gets taken into the other huskies and you just get the worms
for the first time, the tinn school, sorry I should say.
It's horrible.
Yeah, I just, I need to watch a video of how they made it because I can't firstly, I don't
know how they made the intro where, because they haven't got CGI.
So how did they make it where it rips the screen off to reveal the word, the thing?
How did they do that?
Just animation and green screen and all sorts.
I don't think they had green screen.
Of course they did.
Green screen's been around.
I suppose they would have had it, they did it in Star Wars didn't they?
They did it in the original Superman remember.
It's been around for a lot longer than you think it has.
But no, it's, yeah, it's just been very, very cleverly edited and a lot of hard work painstakingly
frame by frame done with animators and everything else like that.
Don't forget the, I would say the film industry as much as people that work in it now obviously
love what they do and we'd never criticise that because obviously it's their job whether
we like what they've created is another matter.
But I feel that the film industry back then, especially when you consider things like Star
Wars, when you see the Darth Vader's shuttle land on the Death Star, even to this day,
I find it hard to believe that 90% of that scene is just a painting on screen.
It's not real.
It's just a painting.
But the sheer effort that was put into to make it look as good as it does and that's
what you get with the thing.
You don't get that now.
It's just done with, it's done with computers, done with CGI and people come to think, but
yeah, look, it looks so much more real because people are moving around.
There's no warmth or love to it is what I kind of get from that.
But you're right.
It's just phenomenal.
Absolutely phenomenal.
It's just, I don't know any film that, because clearly like the practical effects, it's a
weird one because it's quite, because it's so grotesque, so odd to look at and so weird,
you kind of like, you know it's not real.
But at the same time, we're just like, but it's so fucking brilliant and so gross.
I think what is key to remember here, there's two ways you can look at it and there's two
definite ways to look at it, I should say.
When it is the thing being the thing, it's quite obviously fake, but still done beautifully.
So the chest opening and closing, crushing his hands, for example, the head peeling off
the body just after it's been flamethrower.
While the face is twitching and all of that.
Brilliant.
The dog scene when all the tentacles kind of just go out of it and the spit on the dog
and everything like that.
It's quite clearly fake.
It's gruesome and it's amazing to see.
However, if you made that look hyper realistic, even back then, I think you would have ended
up being either making it an X-rated or it potentially like Event Horizon told you can't
release this unless you make massive changes.
Yet, the other part of the film, the bit that isn't designed to scare you but just more
make you go, oh my God, is the mutants.
And those, now those look fucking real and disgraceful.
But the mutated two heads that they recover from the Norwegian one and bring back to do
the autopsy on.
It's not alive.
There's no jump scare from it.
It doesn't need to scare you.
The only thing it needs to do is be really fucking unsettling and they've done it perfectly.
So I think there's a really good mix.
There's kind of this, it's quite obviously fake.
So I can enjoy watching this without feeling really freaked out.
And then I can feel freaked out by the thing that I know it's not going to get me because
it's already dead.
Yeah.
It's really good as well with bringing you, the watcher, into the tension of not knowing
who's changed, who's been taken over.
Because at some point, everyone has an excuse of why they've been alone.
Yeah.
I mean, it's a real play on a murder mystery, isn't it?
It's a real, it's Cluedo.
Yeah.
It's Cluedo the thing edition.
Yeah.
It was Doc with the pistol in the boiler room, you know, sort of thing.
Because yeah, you're right.
Every single person's got a reason to be on their own, but you don't necessarily see all
of that, but you're led to believe it anyway.
Like the whole point is, is we know, is Doc, isn't it, the doctor, we know he's not crazy.
We know he's only smashing everything up because he's done that computer simulation that says
it cannot leave here, but everyone just assumes he must be the thing.
Well it turns out he is.
One of them later on, at some point he changes, but we don't know when he changes.
Exactly.
It's only one of the first times I kind of thought in the film, kind of dropping the
ball a little bit here.
Yeah.
You've left this bloke locked in a room on his own while telling everyone else, no one
else is allowed to go anywhere without someone being with them.
So we know no one has been taken over, but you're quite happy to leave him out on his
own in the middle of nowhere in the snowstorm, not guaranteeing that someone's not going
to crawl in and change.
Speaking of the Infection of the Whole World, did you notice how many hours it reckoned?
29,000?
27,000.
Oh, that was close.
Yeah, 27,000 hours from first contact, the whole world population taking over.
Yeah it's interesting, and now that doctor's been building his own spaceship underground.
Well yeah, so the thing obviously is, so actually let me just, I knew about the thing, yeah.
I knew about the film existing.
I knew very little about it.
I knew that it was this weird thing that was like becoming whatever it was to kind of carry
on, yeah?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I just always assumed it was some sort of parasite or something that they dug up in
the ice, which is why it's based in Antarctica, blah, blah, blah.
I had no idea at the very, very, very first scene you see is the UFO crashing.
I had no idea.
That's the intro.
It was an alien film basically.
I had no idea that.
Because that's it.
The spaceship is crashing and then as it crashes, that's when you get the thing logo appear.
It's basically the words scrolling up like in Star Wars is the spaceship crashing.
But I guess one of the things that then thinking about it now, not thinking about it then,
because obviously I got really actually quite into the film and lost myself in it, which
is always a good sign of any film.
If you can lose yourself in it and not realise how much time has passed and what is going
on around you, brilliant.
But thinking back on it now, what exactly is the thing?
We know it is this thing that this ability to clone whatever it touches and take it over
and then become its own thing.
So whose is the spaceship?
Is that just another alien race?
And he's basically, or this thing has taken over one of this alien race and then stolen
one of their spaceships.
Is it its own race of people?
And if it's its own race of people, what does it originally look like without cloning something?
So I don't think they stole the ship because they build their own.
So that happens.
So they know how the thing knows how to make space travel because they're making one.
They're making a ship.
Whether that's to get off the planet or to get off of Antarctica, who knows?
So does that mean on a cellular base, because remember it's per cell, as we said earlier,
per cell has the ability to have all of that knowledge.
I think it is a single cell organism that has, what is it when the all thoughts are
into one?
What's that called?
Being a Borg.
Star Wars content.
Yeah, no, but like supposedly ants kind of have it.
Oh, hang on.
Star Trek content, not Star Wars.
No, no, no, we don't talk about Star Trek.
Yeah, no, but I just called Star Trek Star Wars.
Sorry.
It's a game called where you all think like a hive mind.
A hive mind colony.
It's a single cell hive mind where maybe this is kind of, obviously it's too far away or
broken off from its main planet or whatever.
For all we know, the planet is just goo, like the pink goo in Ghostbusters.
That's where planet is just goo and it's all this organism.
And yeah, it could be COVID, it's COVID that has super evolved and become this hive mind
thing and just wants to spread.
It's a disease that just wants to spread.
How was the best way to spread?
A lot of germs hide themselves because they want to do the most spreading.
Well, it's almost, I would say it's parasitic.
Yeah, yeah.
That's probably the better thing is what it does because it takes over, takes over the
cells.
We have really wicked computer animation that they could have.
I loved that.
It's so, so of the era, but so cleverly done as well.
And since when did we stop giving actors real flame throwers?
Because I wrote that on my phone and I was thinking, well, once upon a time in Hollywood,
they give Leonardo DiCaprio has one.
I've seen the trivia on this and apparently go in the film, he says something like, can
we turn this down?
Can we turn this?
And that was, that wasn't part of the film.
That was Leonardo DiCaprio say, can we turn it down a bit?
It was because he was getting hot.
That's the only time I can think of someone can write in, someone please write in, that
they give them real fucking flame throwers.
These guys are clearly walking around with flame throwers of an alien.
Aliens.
Apart from other than the alien films, you know, why did we stop giving people flame
throwers?
Yes.
Such a good one.
Bring them back.
And not just the ones that Elon Musk's company was giving.
Oh no, Dickhead.
Let's not even talk about him.
I want more flame throwers.
Yeah.
They always look good.
Yeah.
And yeah, excluding war films, obviously, because things like Good Morning Vietnam, there's
flame throwers in that because it's the Vietnam rule.
Yeah.
So anything war based, you can kind of avoid from that because it's expected.
But you're right.
As a weapon for action films, it's so good.
Yeah.
Like instead of having, we call them cunt cannons, but the grenade attachment to a assault
rifle, having a canister for a flame throw under the, how fucking cool would that be?
That's why Warhammer 40k was so good, wasn't it?
Oh yeah.
Got flamers as like, yeah, let's make things cook.
That's why I always play the flame throw guy in Helldivers and I always get every flame
item possible.
I'm the fireman.
Yeah.
You're the fireman and I'm the on fireman.
Just I don't know.
I feel like I love the film so much, but it feels like I can't talk about it for 45 minutes
because not because it's bad.
It's just so fucking good.
I want people to watch it.
It's so neatly contained as well.
It's not a massive sprawling thing.
There's like seven or eight guys trying to figure out which one's the bad guy.
There is something to be said for when a film limits itself to a very small number of sets.
So if you think you've got the handful of buildings at their location, you've got the
burnt out location at the Norwegian camp and you've got the location of the UFO.
That is it.
And everything is in those.
Whereas you take something like the born identity where it's pinging across the world, pinging
across cityscapes and everything like that.
It loses believability because you just think, yeah, but you're opening up to so many people's
eyes, ears and what's going on.
Whereas limiting it like this is perfect because it makes it so much more believable, especially
then cutting them off as you would be in Antarctica's perfect.
Absolutely ideal.
And it makes it really believable the paranoia that they all have and their real characters
coming out.
Yes.
You know, I like when they're trying to decide who's going to be the new boss because the
real boss has just died.
So like who's no, no, no, no.
No, no, no.
He has the gun over, doesn't he?
So you don't want me to be the boss.
So and he puts it down and nobody wants it.
Child goes for it.
So Kurt Russell's character snatches off as I think we need someone with a bit more of
an even temper.
Yeah.
So Charles played by Keith David who does like every single fucking voice in every game
you've ever heard of.
Yeah.
And he's a commissioner Kempsey, I think for Armageddon.
Yes.
He's in Armageddon.
Yeah.
He's one of those voices you'd recognize.
And even then I was kind of watching it going, why do I know his voice?
And it's because his voice is just so widespread.
Yeah.
And it hasn't changed.
That's the weird thing.
As he's got older, his voice has just stayed the same.
I'm just not going to count here.
There's 21 results for actors in this film.
21.
And again, one of them's a dog.
Yeah.
And, and one's the voice of a computer.
So that's two done.
I mean, arguably you could have actually limited it even more.
You didn't need the Norwegians, for example, aren't really required.
You could have just had them firing from the helicopter crashing and that would have been
it.
You wouldn't have needed them.
That would have been two less actors.
I'm glad they didn't.
It felt much needed that they crash.
They blow up.
I mean, one of my notes is what the fuck with that grenade?
Oh, yeah.
So Diabeus, that same fucking note.
Oh, it's behind me.
But is that the thing?
Is he a thing?
Yeah.
Is that why he threw the grenade behind him to kill the other person because he didn't
want the other person to say, this is what's going on.
Yeah.
Was he really that bad a fucking shot with that gun?
Exactly.
Yeah.
Wow.
I never good shout all the times I've watched it.
I've never actually taken that perspective of it.
Was he one of them?
That's why he was always missing and he knew, Oh, look, there's something over there.
I can then transform into those things.
So if we get near and Oh yeah, fucked up with the grenade.
He's dead.
No one's going to know what's going on.
I know I won't be.
Speaking of, so they get to a point where they realise that obviously hates fires.
They do tests and they take people's bloods and they get some copper wire, heat it up,
put the hot copper wire in blood.
If the blood reacts, then that's the thing.
There's a great jump scare with that.
They tie three guys up to it.
Yeah.
To their chairs.
I love it when the other one just basically becomes the thing.
This real slapstick comedy all of a sudden.
That's my favourite scene in the entire film is that that part where they're all strapped
to the chair and then that guy changes right there.
And what a great scene that is of him changing.
But they get to a point where they know pretty much that it can survive if it's been in pieces.
They kind of imply that.
So why does Kurt Russell then set one on fire, kick him out the door and then chuck a grenade
on him?
Yeah.
What did you do that for?
Blow his cells all over the place.
Yeah.
Let him burn.
But they don't let anything burn.
They keep putting it out.
Exactly.
It's like, burn him.
Yeah, you can go in and put him out now.
Gets well too quick.
Mate, that's not even medium rare.
That's rare.
Yeah.
I get they don't want the house to burn down, but come on guys.
One room, close the door, let that room fucking burn, then put it out.
You've got plenty of things that can put the fire out.
Yeah, a hundred percent.
A hundred percent.
It's just not, you could say a bit lazy writing to kind of move the story forward and saw
it move forward because obviously if they just let it burn, that would be it done.
But I can understand why they didn't because they need the story to move forward.
But there's so many things you could have done.
For example, oh, you burnt it, but actually a chunk of it, like the head, peeled off and
crawled away.
You could have just kept doing that.
That scene is crazy.
One of the other doctor or the doctor, I suppose, is they're trying to resuscitate the guy on
the table, aren't they?
With defibs.
And then as he's about to push down for the second or third time with the defib, the dude's
chest fucking opens and it takes an eye inside.
It's like, ah, and then just all hell breaks loose.
There's fire, there's tentacles, there's creature coming up.
He grabbed somebody at that point as well.
Doesn't the creature then grab one of the other ones and start fucking with him?
I can't get the tentacles come out, don't they?
They grab one of them.
And eventually they sit on a wind screen, whatever his name is.
Yeah.
That's when they get him.
And then he gets thrown against the wall.
Yeah, I'm pretty sure he gets taken at that point.
He gets cooked at that point as well because he started to change.
Yeah.
And then they do a shot where they think they've killed it, but it's heads hanging off the
end of the table and it slowly stretches down and then plops on the floor.
All the while the face is moving.
Yeah, the face is moving around, the face is upside down, it lands, plop on the ground
and then fucking spider's legs come out the side of it.
Tent, arms, eyes, sorry, on sticks, what they call like antennae.
Yeah, little antennae come out.
The spider legs come out.
Come out of what would have been the chin, I guess, of the face.
And then it starts crawling around the fucking ground, this upside down head, mouth still
moving.
Yeah.
Oh, just...
Now, did you know this isn't the original film?
No, I didn't.
So the original movie is The Thing from Another World, 1951.
And it takes place in the North Pole, not Antarctica.
And who wrote it?
Is it based on a book?
I've got no idea.
Who's the War of the World author?
Oh, HG Wells.
Yeah, it sounds like one of his.
So, scientists and American Air Force officials fend off a bloodthirsty alien organism while
at a remote Arctic outpost.
Now, I'm just literally jumping onto this really, really quickly because I'm just intrigued
to see about it.
And I can't see who wrote it.
That's a shame.
That's annoying.
Can they make it so...
Oh, there we go.
Right, so it's Choles Ledera.
He's written quite...
Yeah, okay.
There's a lot of names on there that I recognise from old sci-fi.
But what's interesting is hopefully this won't catch the sound.
If you watch the trailer, hopefully it does it because I'm pretty sure it was this that
I saw.
Oh, it's a bloody advert.
Do you want to use my phone if we can bring it through and people can hear the advert?
We could do the trailer, but the thing I wanted you to see is hopefully...
Oh, fuck, it's literally the same writing and everything.
It's the same writing and air-free shit for the black and white.
Holy shit, we've got to watch that.
We've got to sit and watch the 1951 then because actually, because they would have been limited
by the effects and what's available, sometimes actually can be much...
Those films can be a lot creepier.
And I want to show you some really classic sci-fi at some point.
I know we've already got the next episode planned, but in the future I want to show
you something called Quite a Mass in the Pit, the black and white film.
And it's brilliant.
It's a British film and it's got very little practical effects, but what it does do and
how it does it and the suspense it has is brilliant.
Absolutely brilliant.
It's interesting.
I wonder if this is a reimagining of that and then the more modern one is a reimagining
of this.
I mean, we haven't talked about the modern one, but the modern one, full of CGI.
It doesn't deserve your fucking breath.
And I've seen the model that they had designed for the thing and it was amazing.
What I've seen of a few shots of that version with none of the CGI, because from my understanding,
we spoke about this before, they filmed the entire thing not planning on doing CGI.
So they had practical effects for everything.
And then at some point they went, no, let's make it CGI and painted over everything.
And it's awful.
It's fucking dreadful.
I mean, it's not something you need to remake anyway.
And let's face it, we didn't know that it was remade from the 1951 one anyway.
For all we know, the 1951 film could be absolutely atrocious.
I don't think it will be.
I think it would be of its time, but I think it will be very enjoyable.
This took it to the next level.
Why did it need to be remade?
There was no need for it.
Clearly somebody thought they could do it better.
If there's an ego here that's come in and just thought we can do this better.
If anything, they were right to make the game a sequel.
And that's what someone should have considered.
The game had a really good idea.
How could we take this forward?
I mean, maybe it ends up at a military base in Antarctica because they come and pick up
all the remains, take it back to the military base.
It's still contained, but you could have a whole different story going on there with
different things happening.
But no, they go and remake it and it's just that typical, we've remade something because
we can and we've ruined it.
I love this film.
Yeah.
I mean, there are a lot of scenes you could talk about.
I love the design of it.
You actually feel like what they've built as their outpost is the real outpost.
I mean, their rec room's got a pinball, it's got an arcade machine, it's got a snooker
table.
They've got their kind of couch there.
You've got the, is it Nolz or Noless or whatever his name is.
He's the kitchen, he's the cook, he's got his music that he's playing.
You've got windows and all the radio transmitter stuff.
Everything feels like it's in the right place.
It's the right design.
It's what you would expect in somewhere like that.
Even the flamethrowers, you would expect them because you think we're in the middle of one
of the coldest places on earth.
We're going to need to be able to quickly thaw out things.
Flamethrowers, makes sense.
But as well, how do you think people would be when they're in the middle of fucking nowhere,
stuck with a load of blokes who they may or may not like for a long period of time.
They'd all be a bit grumpy with each other.
They were all grumpy with each other.
They were only just starting their leg basically as well, if you think about it.
They're all like, well, we've still got a few months before the rescue team or the swap
out team are due.
You're led to believe that this is actually still fairly early on in their kind of rotor.
Yeah, I certainly remember saying to Brandon, everyone's so grumpy.
I definitely got the impression that they didn't like each other.
They were all there.
They were all employees.
They had their reasons to be there, but no one had their reasons to work together.
Kurt Russell's character, McCready, he had his own.
He's got his shack up in the top of the legs.
Maybe he's up there higher ground.
He gets a better view of the thing so he can be like, this is going to be all right whether
for flying.
We can go out in the helicopter today.
Blah, blah, blah.
That's the plan.
I think the only thing they don't really explain, and I don't know if five minutes of exposition
would have helped or actually just ignoring it like they did.
What's the research they're doing there?
Who are actually the research people?
Because everyone seemed to have their jobs, but no one seemed to be a research, excluding
the doctor.
Well, you had the two guys.
You had the doctor and the kind of science guy.
Okay, yeah.
You've got two of them, but for a research station, you wouldn't just have had two people.
It could have done with a little bit of exposition.
What are they doing?
We're just literally, there's two of us and we're measuring the temperature and the wind
and the ice cores here and it only requires two of us because it's a really shitty, boring
job.
Something like that would have, for me, just added a little bit more of believability.
Not that it needed the believability, but it may have added a little bit more to it.
If I remember correctly, the game does tell you some stuff about what they were doing.
You pick up tapes and kind of logs and stuff.
I've not got far enough into it to really, and I don't remember.
As I would argue as well, why are the Norwegians so close?
Now, I know actually the fact is, in real life in the Antarctic area where they do the
science studies, there are base camps based by country and they are all fairly near each
other.
But again, what were they there doing?
What was their research?
You would have thought being so close to each other, there would have been not necessarily
a friendship between sites, but at least, oh, well, we know the Norwegians are there.
They're doing this.
We know the Americans are over there.
They're doing this.
We know that the British are over there doing this.
Well, I think the Norwegians were doing deep shoe drilling, not deep ice drilling.
You do that for finding out age and stuff.
Well, yeah, you look at what the world was like at the oldest of the ice cores.
They went deep enough to find this spaceship.
I think that's what happened on their side because they had to explain how they found
the ship.
I think that's pretty much, you can kind of get that's what they were doing.
Yeah, fair enough.
You don't have a clue what the Americans are doing.
But what I really liked, the end, everyone dies.
Yeah, there's no happy ending to it.
It's not a happy ending.
That's such a rare thing.
And I think we've said about it before either on the Variety Show or on this show.
It's very rare to get a film that chooses to end in a negative connotation.
So they chose to end it with both main characters that have survived dying.
That's it.
And you don't know if they've succeeded.
You don't know if one of them is actually the age.
For all we know, Childs was like, you know what, I will sit here and die with you because
he's the thing.
He wants to freeze until the next group turn up.
So for all we know, McCready has been all along and his aim was to kill everyone.
You just don't know.
So ending it like that is brilliant.
And it is a rare thing.
I mean, I don't like Deep Impact much as a film, but at least they went balls deep and
went, well, we're going to kill half of the fucking population of Earth with an asteroid
hitting Earth.
I'm going to have to do the beginning of the game again, because I'm pretty sure you find
McCready's body.
And there's only one body.
Oh, so they in the little building.
It is child.
I'm just thinking, yeah, my memory night might not be correct, but I'll wait for I play that
first kind of half an hour of it again and see if that is McCready's body.
And if there's two.
As is that why Childs does the cheeky grin.
Yeah.
And like, I'm pretty sure if I really want to start thinking about, I wouldn't be surprised
if he is it because he does go away and he's like, oh, I had to go off.
I thought I saw X, Y, Z. So I had, yeah, you just don't know, do you?
And he's the, he is the odd one out for all of it.
And as McCready said, you've got this uneven temper.
You're a, you're a wild one and we don't know about you.
I mean, obviously they do the blood test up until that point, but then they leave him.
You don't know what has happened since.
Yeah.
Well, as I said, at some point, every character has a reason why they'd gone off on their
own.
Yes.
Every single one.
And that's his moment at the end.
That's the moment we go.
Now, well, I actually know he's has two because when he comes in, he gets accused.
Yes.
Of it.
Cause he leaves McCready out there.
Doesn't he?
That's not Childs.
That's Nolz.
Oh, okay.
Sorry.
As he comes back and he said, Oh, because he's the one that finds the rag in the boiler.
Yes.
That's it.
Yeah.
So yeah, he abandons him and leaves him out in the snowstorm and runs back leaving McCready
on his own.
Yeah.
Nolz.
Yes.
If that's how it's pronounced.
Cause they, they do say that they know that the thing won't be dead from the cold.
It would just go into dormant.
It's looking to go into a frozen state until the next people come along and take it where
it wants to go.
Yeah.
So I wonder now, I wonder.
Yeah.
And you're right.
He gives him a kind of a bit of a look.
It's kind of a, Oh, just sit here too then.
And do you think sharing the alcohol with him would pass the disease over?
Or do you think he's actually going to grab him and absorb him?
I don't know.
Possibly.
I don't.
I think the idea is, is that yet the thing grabs you, absorbs you and becomes you.
I think that's kind of the idea they try and put across that.
That is how it happens.
Not just on the cell basis, which you see in the little computer animation of dog cell
versus thing.
And it just envelops it.
Which is why you see kind of window being windows being enveloped, don't you?
And then the dog gets enveloped and pulled in.
What I did like as well was when the final thing appears and you've got all of the things
that it's cloned recently, the dog comes out, the face comes out.
Now there's an interesting thing of it, cause I'm listening to all the bits called Dungeon
Crawler Carl.
Dungeon Crawler Carl.
Again, the name out probably.
Long story short, there's a character in it which can change shape.
And they can kind of take things into their mass and use it.
And then so that they take in a metal shield, they can absorb that into the mass and then
use that to make their arm metal.
Oh, okay.
The problem is they're taking on mass.
They get bigger.
So they can't make themselves small again.
So a five foot person eventually becomes a six foot person because they've got so much
mass.
It was a PS2 game, wasn't it?
It began with a K and I can't think of it, where you play the ball and you're rolling
around the world and you're trying to build up mass to complete the level.
So everywhere you're rolling around, you're getting bigger and bigger and slowly the world
gets smaller as your ball gets bigger and you're absorbed.
Katamari.
That was it.
So that's the thing about the thing that they ignore.
It's absorbing all those dogs and resolving everything.
See that big one that's there, that's too big to be a person now.
It's taken on too much.
But is that one, that was the one that they, he fights underground.
So do you think is that where the main ones living underground?
Because you see crawl under the ground.
But do you think there is a main one?
Like in Tremors.
I think there's more than one.
Well, I think there's definitely more than one because as you say, it's on a cellular
base if you blow up the cell and the cell comes into contact with you, it can then clone
your cell and carry on cloning, cloning and envelope you.
But don't forget the thing that we see that is the dog becomes this giant thing in the
corner hanging from the ceiling, doesn't it?
It grows two giant bloody arms that tries to pull itself up.
And that's like three times the size of the dog, but it's the same thing at that point.
So obviously this thing has the ability to grow and shrink based on what it's choosing.
So I don't think we are meant to be thinking about size and space in that way.
I think it's just a given that it'll be the size it wants to be the size of.
Yeah.
I mean, I'm happy with that.
I just, if you want to start really picking, but yeah, I don't actually care.
But the thing is the, and if you want to just to pick the thing you pick at is you don't
burn it for long enough and you don't blow it to pieces.
Yeah.
Those are the two things to pick away from this film.
Nothing else because everything else actually you could just, you can accept, but those
two things are that they are the two things.
Yeah.
The overall, oh, fucking brilliant.
Magnificent film.
Absolutely magnificent.
I'm really glad you liked it.
It just genuinely blew my socks off.
It was just every minute watching it was enjoyable.
There wasn't a part of it that I thought, Oh, how long's left?
I want to see how long's left.
Oh, I'll start doing this while I'm watching it.
I wanted to watch it through and through.
No gaps.
You can't miss a bit too.
Cause I think if you do look away for a few minutes at your phone or something, you will
miss something.
Exactly.
If you look away, you are going to miss the bit of why was he on his own or when was he
on his own?
Well, actually it happened three minutes ago and you missed the time he was on his own.
That's why they're all doubtful of him.
So yeah, it's actually a film you've surprisingly got to pay attention to quite a lot.
And you don't necessarily always get that with a horror film or a thriller.
You can normally half ass it a little bit, but here you actually need quite a lot of
concentration for that film because you're right.
It's very easy to miss something.
And what you miss could be a giant, giant story arc that actually makes the film collapse
without.
Yeah.
And I didn't think it was very long, but it's an hour and 49 minutes.
It didn't feel that long.
It did not feel an hour and 49.
But don't forget we are in the world now that I think it's generally accepted films need
to be two hours or longer now.
So one hour is 49.
I think it's actually on the shorter side.
I mean, I, I still like the era of one and a half hour films.
Yeah.
But it is, it is what it is.
I like there's a three line blurb of it in I to B and it actually personifies the film
perfectly.
A research team in Antarctica is hunted by a shape shifting alien that assumes the appearance
of his victims.
That is exactly what this film is.
Yeah.
Completely personifies this film in a very short way.
Yeah.
Basically what we get in that, and as I said, we wouldn't be able to talk about it for 35
to 45 minutes and here we are at 37 minutes.
Yeah.
It, you should watch this film.
If you haven't, it's great.
Just watch it.
I think what I want to watch next is I might pick up on DVD because it's one of those DVDs
now it's been around for so long and it's just easy to get ahold of it's cheap.
It's like a 499 DVD on Amazon.
I would love to watch the audio commentary with John Carpenter on it because he will
explain a lot of the ideas he had.
And I'm really keen to see if were we right in what we were thinking or if we weren't,
what was his thought process behind it?
Because I'm sure that's going to be, it's one of the audio commentaries that I'd be
interested in listening to.
And that's not something I would normally say.
I normally don't care.
I don't think I've ever listened to an audio commentary of anything ever.
There's only been one or two.
Yeah.
This way, actually this one I would do.
I know you gentlemen have been through a lot and when you find the time, I'd rather not
spend the rest of this winter tied to this fucking couch.
Right.
Next week we are watching Red Dwarf.
It's cold outside.
No, you know it.
I just said next week.
I'll have fucked up again.
Yep.
Next episode.
What we're doing is we're both choosing an episode each.
So you're going to, if you join in and actually watch the stuff that we do, you're going to
be watching two episodes of Red Dwarf because they're quite short.
They are short.
They're British comedy.
So you can expect them to be about 25 to 30 minutes.
It's not like the US comedies which fall in at about 22 minutes because you've always
got eight minutes worth of adverts.
So we're more to like the 25, 27 minute I think.
So yeah, two of these is a nice easy watch.
I said to you, it doesn't have to be a favourite Red Dwarf episode, but certainly one that
you've got good fond memories of watching and knowing that you enjoyed.
Oh, a hundred percent.
Yeah.
So what did you pick?
Oh, well I sent you a list, didn't I?
I sent you a list.
You did, but you just need to pick one of them.
So I'm just going to quickly say my favourite ones that I could think of on the spot were
obviously Confidence Paranoia from series one, Best of the Life in series two, Backwards
in series three, Polymorph in series three and Meltdown in series four.
Now all of them are brilliant.
There are more, more than that, obviously.
I'm going to go with Polymorph just because for me it is a continually funny episode and
I can rewatch that over and over again and things like give Keisha chance and just everything
about that episode makes me laugh.
So I'm going to go with Polymorph season three, episode three.
Yeah, Polymorph Shapeshifter that feeds on negative emotions.
Negative emotions.
Yeah, it steals emotions.
It takes Crichton's guilt, Rimmer's anger, Lister's scared and...
Cat would be his vanity, surely.
His vanity, yeah.
Yeah.
So I'll mention some episodes.
We've got season five episode four, Quarantine, a virus makes them all go mad.
Yeah, Mr. Flipple.
Yeah.
Season six episode four, Rimmer World.
Rimmer World's a good one.
That's a good one.
And that's funny enough, that's towards the end of the seasons before they kind of renewed
Red Dwarf in this modern era, isn't it?
Yeah, kind of.
And then there's a great one, mainly just because of one bit, season seven episode five
is called Blue.
Now that's the one with the Rimmer song in it where there's a...
Crichton makes a ride.
So yeah, that's season seven.
Because Rimmer's not in it.
Season seven's the first of their reboot of Red Dwarf, wasn't it?
So we got, they were lost and then it kind of ended.
And I think the Suicide Squid was one of the last kind of episodes of that series.
And then it disappeared off.
And then if I remember right, isn't it the nanites or the nanobots rebuild Red Dwarf
and everyone is alive again.
Yeah.
And I think that's...
That's when Kuchanski's definitely back.
Yeah, Kuchanski's back.
And yeah, then we get that.
And then we...
Sorry, it's the end of that season that they rebuild Red Dwarf, isn't it?
So yes.
So Rimmer, I think Rimmer's dead at this point.
And this isn't what the episode I'm picking, I'm just telling you the episode.
And what's it?
Fuck, I can't, suddenly I'm forgetting it.
Lister, he really, he's like having like sexual dreams about Rimmer.
So Crichton like gets hold of all his diaries, Rimmer's diaries and makes this ride based
on Rimmer's...
Oh, it's not he's dead.
He takes the place of Ace Rimmer.
Ace dies and Rimmer takes over the position of Ace Rimmer.
Yeah, absolutely.
You're right.
And yeah, and this has got the...
It's Arnold, Arnold, Arnold Rimmer.
Remember that?
Well, it used to say...
Anyway, I do know the words of Arnold, I'm going to sing it now.
But the one I'm choosing is season five, episode six, and it's back to reality.
Great episode.
So the end of the season five, I think.
Which is the suicide squid.
Oh, is that the suicide squid?
That's the one that...
Yes.
Because it ends with them being chased by the suicide squid and it turns out it's still
the game.
Yeah.
So it's when they get pulled out of this VR thing and all of the seasons beforehand have
supposedly been inside VR.
Dwayne Divlett?
I don't want to be Dwayne Divlett!
Dwayne Divlett!
So everyone is like their worst versions of what they think the worst version is.
What a really fun episode.
It's a good fun episode.
That's the same series that's got Gunmen of the Apocalypse, which is Crichton.
They come against the bad androids, I can't remember what they call them now, and they
blow up their ship and they plant a virus on Crichton.
Oh, they plant a virus on the ship, sorry.
So Crichton tunes in and then they all have to join in the reality as video game basically
and try to beat the virus.
Same season, so that's a good one as well.
Yeah, so that's it.
So we're going to be watching season three, episode three, Polymorph, season five, episode
six, Back to Reality.
So that's next episode.
You'll also be hopefully giving me the answers to what is this week's guest, the intro, which
is again, it's got six different things for you to find.
Are you sure it's six, not five, not seven?
I checked my notes.
That's what I was saying, I checked and counted, there's six, if there's not six, there will
be six because I haven't made it yet.
I just know what's meant to be in it.
Yeah, six.
Awesome.
You're going to have to sleep some time, mid-week.
I'm a real late sleeper child.
Would you like to know more?
No.
All right, thanks for tuning in everyone.
Thank you very much everyone.
Yeah, if you'd like to get in touch with us, you can find us on all of the social medias
for this show.
In particular, it's the untitled sci-fi show on fucking everything.
Yeah, Blue Sky X slash Twitter.
Facebook you find us as channel 84, I think.
Yeah, Facebook is still channel 84.
If you'd like to email in your answers for this episode's guest, the intro, you can email
it to me, Rob at channel84.co.uk or to podcasts at channel84.co.uk, it doesn't really matter.
If you want to speak to Tom directly, it's Tom at, no TJ, fuck, I get it wrong every
time, TJ at channel84.co.uk.
Podcasts was plural, website, www.channel84.co.uk.
TJ has been working on updating it.
Miracles happen.
Miracles happen, yeah.
I do plan on writing a little bit on there.
I might write about some of the games that I've completed recently.
We're doing our little game of who can complete what games and we're going to write up the
games we've both completed so far.
But you know, it takes time, doesn't it, writing stuff?
It does.
And yeah, listen to the rest of Studio Channel 84 that is lightly used with Karen and Adam
and who takes SOS off?
Who takes the socks off?
With Ross and Simon.
All very funny, all very lovely people.
You'll like them very, very much.
That's it, I think.
Is that it?
I think that's it.
Hooray, huzzah.
All right.
See you next week in the Variety Show or two weeks for next episode of the Untitled Sci-Fi
Show.
Love you.
Bye.
Thank you for listening to the Untitled Sci-Fi Show.
This station is now shutting down and will be back in two weeks.
May the force live long and prosper inside of you.
This was a Studio Channel 84 network show.
To find more, head over to channel84.co.uk now.