1
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That's me shooting the bum.

2
00:00:12,000 --> 00:00:14,000
That's very Star Wars of you.

3
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Rob shot first.

4
00:00:15,000 --> 00:00:17,600
I was going more World West than Star Wars.

5
00:00:17,600 --> 00:00:18,600
Nope, Rob shot first.

6
00:00:18,600 --> 00:00:19,600
Yeah, yeah.

7
00:00:19,600 --> 00:00:20,600
All that's a little bollocks isn't it?

8
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Such a terrible bit of the film.

9
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Clearly he shot first because, well, the other one just missed, who cares?

10
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Right, hello.

11
00:00:30,720 --> 00:00:33,680
Hello.

12
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This is a Star Trek podcast, remember?

13
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This is going to be the least planned episode of this that we have done at all.

14
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And I bet you it gets the most bloody listens.

15
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Well, the other one we did didn't we?

16
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I think the first one about the, where does the moisture go, whatever, in the holodeck?

17
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Yes.

18
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He's like one of our highest listened ones and we put, we didn't plan it at all.

19
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We were going to talk about the holodeck and come.

20
00:00:59,840 --> 00:01:00,840
Okay.

21
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Yeah, holodeck and come, that's your go-to to get points on the Star Trek podcast.

22
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Right, what you been doing?

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I'm not going to say fuck all this week.

24
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No.

25
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I'm not going to say fuck all, but it really is fuck all, but I've actually watched a couple

26
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of films.

27
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They're not about monkeys, don't worry.

28
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It's not space monkeys.

29
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No, boring.

30
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I'm just, what I want to say, and it's literally, I finished watching one of them last night,

31
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is who would have thought in 2024 that Terminator 3, Terminator Salvation and Terminator Genesis

32
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wouldn't be the shittest films of that series.

33
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Right.

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Because Terminator Dark Fate is utter trash.

35
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Now I think we can all agree, and I'm pretty sure we all agree that Terminator 1 and 2

36
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are near perfect films.

37
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They didn't need to do any more.

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Absolutely not.

39
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No, didn't need to do any more films at all.

40
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Then Terminator 3 came along and I've always been a firm person that said, if you go and

41
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watch Terminator 3 for it to be a Terminator film, you will come away disappointed.

42
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If you watch it as a little bit of sci-fi fun, you'll be fine.

43
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I stand by that.

44
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Then Terminator Salvation came along and it's like, well, you kind of have to watch this

45
00:02:21,920 --> 00:02:26,760
as a Terminator film because it's so heavily into that story.

46
00:02:26,760 --> 00:02:28,200
I don't think it's bad.

47
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People slag it off.

48
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I don't think it's too bad a film.

49
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I think there's some genuinely clever moments in it, some great design ideas like the Terminator

50
00:02:36,560 --> 00:02:39,000
motorbikes that they created for it.

51
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I think it's pretty, pretty good for what it was.

52
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Not the best.

53
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Definitely not a mark on Terminator 1 or 2, but it was okay.

54
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Then we got Terminator Genesis and it's like, now we're just remaking Terminator 2 with

55
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younger actors.

56
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Yeah, yeah.

57
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I rewatched that last night and it's not as bad as I remember.

58
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I sat and wondered, this isn't that bad.

59
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Is that the one where it ends with them in the bunker?

60
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No.

61
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Terminator 3 is the one where, it's not Claire Danes, is it?

62
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The female Terminator.

63
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Yeah, Terminator 3 is the one with the female Terminator and Arnie and they end up in the

64
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bunker at the end.

65
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Yes, it is the one I'm thinking of.

66
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Yeah, yeah, yeah.

67
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Even that's got some brilliant moments.

68
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It's got all the very early Terminators that they've created and they all look straight

69
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up out of the 90s and 2000s and they look perfect because they're on tracks.

70
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They've got big camera eyes rather than being the Terminator.

71
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It's really clever.

72
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Yes, that's how it would look in the early days.

73
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Because that's the one that's saying you can't actually change the future.

74
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Correct.

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Salvation's the one that's set in the future and he's a Terminator but doesn't know he's

76
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a Terminator.

77
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Apparently in that as well, when he goes into the factory you see his human body.

78
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Yes.

79
00:03:53,560 --> 00:03:54,560
Yeah, I never picked that up.

80
00:03:54,560 --> 00:03:55,560
I just saw it on Reddit the other day.

81
00:03:55,560 --> 00:03:57,560
That was one of those movie details.

82
00:03:57,560 --> 00:04:01,360
Yeah, it's just one of those things that they've nicely hidden in there.

83
00:04:01,360 --> 00:04:03,600
Genesis has said it's Terminator 2 remade.

84
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It's got Matt Smith from Doctor Who in it.

85
00:04:05,720 --> 00:04:08,280
It's just not as bad as I thought it would be.

86
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After watching it, I think this is probably the third time I've watched it now, it's not

87
00:04:12,080 --> 00:04:13,800
as bad as people make out.

88
00:04:13,800 --> 00:04:17,040
I mean, yeah, it's still not a mark on the other two.

89
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The first two are obviously a million times better.

90
00:04:20,760 --> 00:04:27,840
But as an enjoyable film with a Terminator-ish storyline, it's not bad.

91
00:04:27,840 --> 00:04:30,000
The effects are pretty good.

92
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It's enjoyable.

93
00:04:31,320 --> 00:04:37,080
It's just Dark Fate then came along and I've watched that on purpose four times now.

94
00:04:37,080 --> 00:04:42,240
I saw it at the cinema, I've seen it three times on Disney+, because I can't help but

95
00:04:42,240 --> 00:04:45,680
think what am I missing because this is so shit.

96
00:04:45,680 --> 00:04:49,800
I was going to say, like the other one, you're giving them a chance to watch that other one

97
00:04:49,800 --> 00:04:51,760
three times and then watch this one four times.

98
00:04:51,760 --> 00:04:53,160
You're giving them a chance.

99
00:04:53,160 --> 00:04:56,440
If you don't like it after four times, I think you don't like the film, dude.

100
00:04:56,440 --> 00:05:02,280
100% it's just not a good Terminator story, it's just not a good storyline at all.

101
00:05:02,280 --> 00:05:06,520
It's just an attempt to recreate the franchise from scratch.

102
00:05:06,520 --> 00:05:10,960
There's one thing in Dark Fate I liked and that's the new Terminator.

103
00:05:10,960 --> 00:05:14,120
Like all the films, they come up with some sort of new Terminator.

104
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And in this one, the new Terminator in Dark Fate is part liquid metal, part endoskeleton.

105
00:05:22,260 --> 00:05:27,280
So that was quite cool because what they had was there's a couple of scenes where the liquid

106
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Terminator drips off him, leaving his skeleton Terminator as kind of a drone doing something

107
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while the liquid Terminator runs off and does and does something.

108
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Really clever idea and it looked really nice on screen.

109
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And this is the one where they have Arnie.

110
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Arnie plays a draper.

111
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Yeah, just like in his old cabin somewhere.

112
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And his name is Carl.

113
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That's it, yeah.

114
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I have seen this, yeah.

115
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And he has a wife and a child.

116
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Yeah, well, I don't hear so.

117
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It's not his child.

118
00:05:59,560 --> 00:06:02,840
No, but it's just shockingly bad.

119
00:06:02,840 --> 00:06:07,480
And is that meant, which Terminator is he meant to be?

120
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Well, that's it.

121
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He's...

122
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What's the timeline?

123
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Because the proper one dies in two.

124
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So the proper one dies in two.

125
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He is yet another one that's been sent back and kills John Connor because that's the very

126
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beginning of the film.

127
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He turns up, they're on the beach thinking that they've escaped it all and John Connor

128
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gets blown away in a beach bar.

129
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Oh God, I don't remember the beginning.

130
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Yeah.

131
00:06:35,200 --> 00:06:37,880
Oh, so this is the scenario where John Connor gets killed.

132
00:06:37,880 --> 00:06:38,880
Yeah.

133
00:06:38,880 --> 00:06:40,480
So John Connor dies in the beach bar.

134
00:06:40,480 --> 00:06:41,480
So this is an alternate.

135
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And wait for it.

136
00:06:43,760 --> 00:06:50,200
The Terminator develops emotions because it no longer has orders to receive or do.

137
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It's done its job.

138
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And then over the years, it realises there must be something better to do.

139
00:06:58,200 --> 00:07:01,700
And that's the entire storyline for Carl the fucking Terminator.

140
00:07:01,700 --> 00:07:04,120
So this is an alternate timeline then, right?

141
00:07:04,120 --> 00:07:06,440
Well, they're all alternate timelines.

142
00:07:06,440 --> 00:07:13,600
So salvation, I'm not quite sure on Terminator 3 is...

143
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Terminator 3 is technically a continuation from Terminator 2.

144
00:07:17,520 --> 00:07:19,760
Well, I think 2 is a continuation from 1.

145
00:07:19,760 --> 00:07:20,760
Yeah.

146
00:07:20,760 --> 00:07:24,800
So 1, 2 and 3 are technically all continuations of each other.

147
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So 3 is John Connor is older than he was in the second.

148
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He's well aware of what's actually happened now and that it's all real and he's living

149
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off the radar, off the grid.

150
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4 is meant to be the future.

151
00:07:39,120 --> 00:07:41,960
It could follow on, I guess.

152
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Genesis, as I said, that is an alternate timeline sort of thing because what happens there is

153
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they send them back in time.

154
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They send Rhys back in time, but everything is different now.

155
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So they've changed the fate and now it's all different.

156
00:08:05,080 --> 00:08:09,600
And then yeah, Dark Fate must just be this ultimate alternate timeline.

157
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So yeah, it is what it is.

158
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It's just Dark Fate is poop.

159
00:08:15,840 --> 00:08:16,840
Yeah.

160
00:08:16,840 --> 00:08:19,840
So that's one film you've watched.

161
00:08:19,840 --> 00:08:21,880
What's the other film you've watched?

162
00:08:21,880 --> 00:08:22,880
No, that was it.

163
00:08:22,880 --> 00:08:23,880
Okay.

164
00:08:23,880 --> 00:08:31,240
That's all I've watched is a handful of the Terminator films and they're just not good.

165
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I love the first and second one.

166
00:08:32,880 --> 00:08:35,240
I'll tell you what I do have to watch.

167
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I have to watch the Sarah, not the Sarah Jane, that's bloody Doctor Who, the Sarah Connor

168
00:08:40,600 --> 00:08:45,480
Chronicles or whatever it was called, which is the TV series they did because apparently

169
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that's phenomenal.

170
00:08:46,480 --> 00:08:47,480
Yeah, I've heard it's good.

171
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I don't know why we ever never watched it.

172
00:08:51,920 --> 00:08:55,180
And that's going to be set before Terminator.

173
00:08:55,180 --> 00:08:56,960
So that's before she goes in your Sanis Olam, I guess.

174
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This is Terminator 1 territory.

175
00:08:58,520 --> 00:09:00,000
Yeah, I'm guessing so.

176
00:09:00,000 --> 00:09:02,000
I guess it's got to be something like that.

177
00:09:02,000 --> 00:09:03,000
I don't know.

178
00:09:03,000 --> 00:09:04,000
No, I don't.

179
00:09:04,000 --> 00:09:07,640
I mean, we could look it up, but no.

180
00:09:07,640 --> 00:09:10,640
Never mind.

181
00:09:10,640 --> 00:09:12,200
What have I been doing?

182
00:09:12,200 --> 00:09:13,440
More Walking Dead.

183
00:09:13,440 --> 00:09:19,080
So we completely finished the series with Negan and the woman again, who I can't remember

184
00:09:19,080 --> 00:09:20,960
her name of.

185
00:09:20,960 --> 00:09:22,400
That was really good.

186
00:09:22,400 --> 00:09:24,040
It was a slow starter though.

187
00:09:24,040 --> 00:09:27,240
I've got to say it took three episodes and there's only six of them.

188
00:09:27,240 --> 00:09:31,760
So you know, half the series before it actually got to a point was like, no, this is good

189
00:09:31,760 --> 00:09:35,960
and I'm glad we got stuck with it.

190
00:09:35,960 --> 00:09:38,400
So yeah, that was really good.

191
00:09:38,400 --> 00:09:42,400
We've now got an episode of the Carol one that we can watch, but we wanted to finish

192
00:09:42,400 --> 00:09:43,400
the Negan one first.

193
00:09:43,400 --> 00:09:46,760
And there's definitely going to be a second series because it's like, you know, it's one

194
00:09:46,760 --> 00:09:48,920
of those things where you're on the last episode and you're like, how are you going to finish

195
00:09:48,920 --> 00:09:50,280
this in an hour?

196
00:09:50,280 --> 00:09:51,640
You're clearly not going to be able to.

197
00:09:51,640 --> 00:09:54,560
And yeah, they set up way more stuff.

198
00:09:54,560 --> 00:09:57,240
You didn't fancy carrying on with Supernatural then.

199
00:09:57,240 --> 00:09:59,560
We just haven't gone back to it.

200
00:09:59,560 --> 00:10:03,080
The daunting realisation that you'll be heading towards.

201
00:10:03,080 --> 00:10:04,080
What did we say?

202
00:10:04,080 --> 00:10:06,080
Your fifties before you'd completed.

203
00:10:06,080 --> 00:10:10,720
I did work out how many days it would take.

204
00:10:10,720 --> 00:10:14,600
I think it's just because suddenly things actually came back on television again, because

205
00:10:14,600 --> 00:10:17,560
everything we watch seems to all come out at once.

206
00:10:17,560 --> 00:10:18,560
Right.

207
00:10:18,560 --> 00:10:19,560
Okay.

208
00:10:19,560 --> 00:10:24,000
So I think when we've done this, it'll then go back to, okay, we've got nothing to watch.

209
00:10:24,000 --> 00:10:27,200
Then we'll pick up Supernatural again.

210
00:10:27,200 --> 00:10:31,360
And aside from that, I played more Cart the Lamb again.

211
00:10:31,360 --> 00:10:37,000
And I don't really want to spoil it, but I've completed the fifth boss.

212
00:10:37,000 --> 00:10:39,920
And it's not the end of the game.

213
00:10:39,920 --> 00:10:42,560
There's credits, but it is not the end of the game.

214
00:10:42,560 --> 00:10:47,880
I have a feeling you're going to, and this is just, I'm guessing here, fifth boss, and

215
00:10:47,880 --> 00:10:51,080
then it's going to turn out the one that resurrected you is a dick.

216
00:10:51,080 --> 00:10:53,400
And then you end up having to be against him as well.

217
00:10:53,400 --> 00:10:59,880
But they're pretty sweet, percentage wise, I think killing that boss puts you at 60%

218
00:10:59,880 --> 00:11:00,880
complete of the game.

219
00:11:00,880 --> 00:11:01,880
Oh wow.

220
00:11:01,880 --> 00:11:02,880
Yeah.

221
00:11:02,880 --> 00:11:03,880
There's a lot more to go.

222
00:11:03,880 --> 00:11:05,600
Well, you know how I was getting coins from my totem?

223
00:11:05,600 --> 00:11:06,600
Yeah.

224
00:11:06,600 --> 00:11:08,960
I'm back to getting stuff again.

225
00:11:08,960 --> 00:11:09,960
Oh.

226
00:11:09,960 --> 00:11:10,960
Yeah.

227
00:11:10,960 --> 00:11:12,640
Suddenly loads of doctrines have opened up.

228
00:11:12,640 --> 00:11:13,640
Everything just started opening.

229
00:11:13,640 --> 00:11:14,640
Oh, that's good.

230
00:11:14,640 --> 00:11:15,640
Yeah.

231
00:11:15,640 --> 00:11:21,320
I don't know if that's actually that, or if there was an update to the game, because literally

232
00:11:21,320 --> 00:11:30,040
I played it last week and my decorations thing was one kind of section of decorations.

233
00:11:30,040 --> 00:11:31,040
Yeah.

234
00:11:31,040 --> 00:11:35,680
Turned it on this week and now my decorations expands past three pages.

235
00:11:35,680 --> 00:11:36,680
Yes.

236
00:11:36,680 --> 00:11:39,640
So that might've been where you got level wise though.

237
00:11:39,640 --> 00:11:40,640
Oh, right.

238
00:11:40,640 --> 00:11:41,640
Okay.

239
00:11:41,640 --> 00:11:42,640
It opens up.

240
00:11:42,640 --> 00:11:43,640
Well, there's a Halloween stuff happening now.

241
00:11:43,640 --> 00:11:48,920
Because there's a load of special one-off decorations that have appeared.

242
00:11:48,920 --> 00:11:51,440
And then it's asked me if I'd do a blood moon thing.

243
00:11:51,440 --> 00:11:52,440
Yeah.

244
00:11:52,440 --> 00:11:53,440
So have you done that yet?

245
00:11:53,440 --> 00:11:54,440
Yeah.

246
00:11:54,440 --> 00:11:55,440
And have you collected the ghosts?

247
00:11:55,440 --> 00:11:57,440
I'd collected one because I didn't realise there were any.

248
00:11:57,440 --> 00:11:58,440
Yeah.

249
00:11:58,440 --> 00:11:59,440
Same with me.

250
00:11:59,440 --> 00:12:00,440
So you need to collect like five or six.

251
00:12:00,440 --> 00:12:01,440
Right.

252
00:12:01,440 --> 00:12:02,440
Okay.

253
00:12:02,440 --> 00:12:03,440
And you get loads of stuff.

254
00:12:03,440 --> 00:12:04,440
Oh.

255
00:12:04,440 --> 00:12:07,600
And then you know you've done it all because then you just start to get the reputation

256
00:12:07,600 --> 00:12:08,600
stuff, whatever it is.

257
00:12:08,600 --> 00:12:09,600
Fine.

258
00:12:09,600 --> 00:12:10,600
Okay.

259
00:12:10,600 --> 00:12:12,600
Because I'm up to 15 followers now.

260
00:12:12,600 --> 00:12:13,600
Yeah.

261
00:12:13,600 --> 00:12:18,280
I'm 23, but I had to have 20 to open up the boss.

262
00:12:18,280 --> 00:12:19,280
Right.

263
00:12:19,280 --> 00:12:21,120
It's hard to manage that many.

264
00:12:21,120 --> 00:12:23,880
I was going to say I'm finding it hard to manage 15.

265
00:12:23,880 --> 00:12:26,440
Prolapse keeps wandering off and doing terrible things.

266
00:12:26,440 --> 00:12:27,440
Yeah.

267
00:12:27,440 --> 00:12:31,680
I started calling anyone that gets birthed in my place gets a name.

268
00:12:31,680 --> 00:12:32,680
Yeah.

269
00:12:32,680 --> 00:12:33,680
And they're things like poop face.

270
00:12:33,680 --> 00:12:36,960
And it's all to do with poo or sex or sin.

271
00:12:36,960 --> 00:12:37,960
Yeah.

272
00:12:37,960 --> 00:12:42,160
Like, so the first one ever born was called the Lord of Sin.

273
00:12:42,160 --> 00:12:44,400
And he has just died yesterday.

274
00:12:44,400 --> 00:12:45,400
Oh.

275
00:12:45,400 --> 00:12:46,400
Yeah.

276
00:12:46,400 --> 00:12:47,400
That was shame.

277
00:12:47,400 --> 00:12:50,080
I got Pat because he was an enforcer.

278
00:12:50,080 --> 00:12:53,560
He had the halo because he was a disciple.

279
00:12:53,560 --> 00:12:55,160
He was max level.

280
00:12:55,160 --> 00:12:56,160
Yeah.

281
00:12:56,160 --> 00:12:58,220
It was, it was a shame when he died.

282
00:12:58,220 --> 00:13:04,440
And then I've got, um, what's the, I've got this close, um, Madam sex or something I've

283
00:13:04,440 --> 00:13:06,240
called and that's the one I breed with loads.

284
00:13:06,240 --> 00:13:10,000
But the thing is you can't breed, it knows who the parents are.

285
00:13:10,000 --> 00:13:14,160
So you've got to be, you do have to mix it up because you could end up with having all

286
00:13:14,160 --> 00:13:16,560
brothers and sisters and they won't make.

287
00:13:16,560 --> 00:13:17,560
Yeah.

288
00:13:17,560 --> 00:13:19,360
So you do have to be a bit careful.

289
00:13:19,360 --> 00:13:22,560
That's cool that it's got the whole genetic thing thrown in there.

290
00:13:22,560 --> 00:13:25,960
That's very well before I realized that when I started trying to make something like, Oh,

291
00:13:25,960 --> 00:13:27,560
you can't make because that's your mom.

292
00:13:27,560 --> 00:13:28,560
Right.

293
00:13:28,560 --> 00:13:29,560
Okay.

294
00:13:29,560 --> 00:13:30,560
It's a sin.

295
00:13:30,560 --> 00:13:31,560
They're animals.

296
00:13:31,560 --> 00:13:32,800
It's fine.

297
00:13:32,800 --> 00:13:37,400
So the sin has gone down, not being quite so sinful because I'm taking up so much time

298
00:13:37,400 --> 00:13:39,880
of making sure everyone's got bloody food.

299
00:13:39,880 --> 00:13:41,000
Everyone's happy.

300
00:13:41,000 --> 00:13:42,000
There's the fighting.

301
00:13:42,000 --> 00:13:43,000
It's not so much fighting.

302
00:13:43,000 --> 00:13:47,560
I haven't got time to get them drunk to fight because we're already fighting.

303
00:13:47,560 --> 00:13:50,760
We all went and spent half an hour fishing the other day, then came back and everyone

304
00:13:50,760 --> 00:13:51,760
was starving to death.

305
00:13:51,760 --> 00:13:52,760
It's awful.

306
00:13:52,760 --> 00:13:53,760
Fuck.

307
00:13:53,760 --> 00:13:54,760
All the fish you just got, you got to give them.

308
00:13:54,760 --> 00:13:57,040
I leave you for five fucking minutes.

309
00:13:57,040 --> 00:13:58,040
Yeah.

310
00:13:58,040 --> 00:13:59,040
Okay.

311
00:13:59,040 --> 00:14:00,040
Half an hour.

312
00:14:00,040 --> 00:14:01,040
Then I went and got stoned with the mushroom man.

313
00:14:01,040 --> 00:14:02,040
But oh yeah.

314
00:14:02,040 --> 00:14:03,040
The mushroom quests.

315
00:14:03,040 --> 00:14:04,040
Yeah.

316
00:14:04,040 --> 00:14:05,040
That's the whole thing.

317
00:14:05,040 --> 00:14:07,040
Oh, that's definitely a thing.

318
00:14:07,040 --> 00:14:08,040
Yeah.

319
00:14:08,040 --> 00:14:10,040
I think that's it.

320
00:14:10,040 --> 00:14:11,040
Yeah.

321
00:14:11,040 --> 00:14:12,040
And still writing.

322
00:14:12,040 --> 00:14:13,040
Nice.

323
00:14:13,040 --> 00:14:15,560
Should we talk about Star Trek for a Star Trek podcast?

324
00:14:15,560 --> 00:14:17,560
Let's do it.

325
00:14:17,560 --> 00:14:22,440
Enter authorization code.

326
00:14:22,440 --> 00:14:23,800
So we're just talking shit today.

327
00:14:23,800 --> 00:14:25,280
We are talking shit.

328
00:14:25,280 --> 00:14:29,280
I've got like a kind of questions from Adam.

329
00:14:29,280 --> 00:14:30,280
Okay.

330
00:14:30,280 --> 00:14:31,280
I did have some others in the email.

331
00:14:31,280 --> 00:14:34,080
I can't find the older email with the questions.

332
00:14:34,080 --> 00:14:35,080
I just could not find it.

333
00:14:35,080 --> 00:14:36,080
So.

334
00:14:36,080 --> 00:14:37,080
Okay.

335
00:14:37,080 --> 00:14:38,080
Well, we will dig about them and do them another episode.

336
00:14:38,080 --> 00:14:40,800
Luckily, I've bought you two things to do today.

337
00:14:40,800 --> 00:14:44,760
Number one, did you see Paramount has announced section 31?

338
00:14:44,760 --> 00:14:47,200
So I'd heard about it, not seen anything about it.

339
00:14:47,200 --> 00:14:48,200
Okay.

340
00:14:48,200 --> 00:14:50,920
Well, when you see the poster, you're just going to laugh and go, is this meant to be

341
00:14:50,920 --> 00:14:51,920
a joke?

342
00:14:51,920 --> 00:14:52,920
Okay.

343
00:14:52,920 --> 00:14:55,400
Uh, and there's also a trailer.

344
00:14:55,400 --> 00:14:56,400
Okay.

345
00:14:56,400 --> 00:14:57,400
So we'll talk about that.

346
00:14:57,400 --> 00:15:01,760
And then I've got, I decided I would put my Chewbacca, not too, yeah.

347
00:15:01,760 --> 00:15:02,760
Chewbacca is Chewbacca.

348
00:15:02,760 --> 00:15:03,760
Yeah.

349
00:15:03,760 --> 00:15:06,320
I kept on saying Chewrock the other day in my head.

350
00:15:06,320 --> 00:15:07,960
He's not fucking dinosaur hunter.

351
00:15:07,960 --> 00:15:08,960
No.

352
00:15:08,960 --> 00:15:11,880
But I'm going to put my Chewbacca big boy pants on.

353
00:15:11,880 --> 00:15:12,880
Okay.

354
00:15:12,880 --> 00:15:16,120
And I've got three missions for you to explain how you would handle them.

355
00:15:16,120 --> 00:15:17,320
As Chewbacca or as me?

356
00:15:17,320 --> 00:15:21,480
No, as you, I'm going to be Chewbacca and it's just like that last episode where he

357
00:15:21,480 --> 00:15:23,240
was a dick to the staff.

358
00:15:23,240 --> 00:15:24,240
So I'm the staff.

359
00:15:24,240 --> 00:15:25,240
You are the staff.

360
00:15:25,240 --> 00:15:26,240
Okay.

361
00:15:26,240 --> 00:15:27,240
Wicked.

362
00:15:27,240 --> 00:15:29,040
And I'm going to give you a mission and I'm going to let it play out and I'm going to,

363
00:15:29,040 --> 00:15:32,240
you give me answers and then I'm going to see what happens next and so on.

364
00:15:32,240 --> 00:15:33,240
As Chewbacca.

365
00:15:33,240 --> 00:15:34,240
As Chewbacca.

366
00:15:34,240 --> 00:15:35,240
So you're going to be wrong.

367
00:15:35,240 --> 00:15:36,240
Probably.

368
00:15:36,240 --> 00:15:39,320
But I'm just going to be an asshole to be honest.

369
00:15:39,320 --> 00:15:40,480
So let's watch this trailer then.

370
00:15:40,480 --> 00:15:41,480
Michelle Yao.

371
00:15:41,480 --> 00:15:42,480
Yeah.

372
00:15:42,480 --> 00:15:43,480
Okay.

373
00:15:43,480 --> 00:15:54,480
An emperor can only be loyal to duty.

374
00:15:54,480 --> 00:16:02,880
Thus does the empire remain strong.

375
00:16:02,880 --> 00:16:04,000
Trust me on this one.

376
00:16:04,000 --> 00:16:20,160
I'm doing you a favour.

377
00:16:20,160 --> 00:16:21,160
You're welcome.

378
00:16:21,160 --> 00:16:26,920
So I'm sure I'm not the only one that was expecting section 31 to be a series, not a

379
00:16:26,920 --> 00:16:28,760
straight to TV movie.

380
00:16:28,760 --> 00:16:30,720
That's, that's a movie.

381
00:16:30,720 --> 00:16:33,120
It's a straight to TV movie by Paramount.

382
00:16:33,120 --> 00:16:35,440
It's a straight to VHS.

383
00:16:35,440 --> 00:16:38,600
So I'm guessing they couldn't afford Michelle, what's her name?

384
00:16:38,600 --> 00:16:39,600
Michelle Yao.

385
00:16:39,600 --> 00:16:41,480
Michelle Yao for more than the movie.

386
00:16:41,480 --> 00:16:43,960
Oscar winning actress, isn't she?

387
00:16:43,960 --> 00:16:44,960
Exactly.

388
00:16:44,960 --> 00:16:49,120
But I think you said it straight away actually in the very beginning of the trailer, just

389
00:16:49,120 --> 00:16:54,060
after you get Michelle's first appearance, which is just literally her face, this is

390
00:16:54,060 --> 00:16:56,800
misfit operation or something like that.

391
00:16:56,800 --> 00:16:59,040
Something's just stupid.

392
00:16:59,040 --> 00:17:00,320
Yeah.

393
00:17:00,320 --> 00:17:06,040
And all I can think of is basically what you've done is you've canned lower decks and tried

394
00:17:06,040 --> 00:17:08,720
to make a funny real life film.

395
00:17:08,720 --> 00:17:10,680
That didn't look even remotely funny.

396
00:17:10,680 --> 00:17:12,560
It looks like James Bond in fucking space.

397
00:17:12,560 --> 00:17:20,280
And if you didn't, if you took away any Starfleet deltas, took away the word Star Trek, there

398
00:17:20,280 --> 00:17:23,760
is nothing Star Trek about what I've just watched there.

399
00:17:23,760 --> 00:17:31,040
I don't want to shit on it too much because trailers can always be shit, but that was

400
00:17:31,040 --> 00:17:34,600
a shit trailer for a show that looks shit.

401
00:17:34,600 --> 00:17:41,300
And I'm only going to watch it because it's Star Trek and Michelle Yao is in it.

402
00:17:41,300 --> 00:17:46,720
But there was nothing in that that's actually made me go, oh yeah, that looks good.

403
00:17:46,720 --> 00:17:48,280
Cause it fucking doesn't.

404
00:17:48,280 --> 00:17:49,280
It doesn't look good.

405
00:17:49,280 --> 00:17:51,920
I don't want to be that guy that slags it off, but it doesn't look good.

406
00:17:51,920 --> 00:17:55,440
No, I'm going to be the guy that slags it off because I'm sorry.

407
00:17:55,440 --> 00:17:57,960
There was nothing Star Trek about it.

408
00:17:57,960 --> 00:18:02,720
It's from the Discovery era, which we all know isn't my favourite, although obviously

409
00:18:02,720 --> 00:18:05,980
Strange New Worlds is pulling that back for me.

410
00:18:05,980 --> 00:18:12,020
There's just nothing felt Star Trek about it.

411
00:18:12,020 --> 00:18:16,960
It just looked like they were trying to create James Bond in space.

412
00:18:16,960 --> 00:18:22,720
What the hell is the robot man wearing some sort of robot pre-borg sort of suit sort of

413
00:18:22,720 --> 00:18:23,720
thing?

414
00:18:23,720 --> 00:18:33,280
I think it's just, I don't think it's going for, what did you say?

415
00:18:33,280 --> 00:18:36,480
It's going, it's trying to fill the void that Lower Decks is going to be.

416
00:18:36,480 --> 00:18:37,480
Yeah, sorry.

417
00:18:37,480 --> 00:18:41,520
It feels more to me like they're just doing another trying to be Star Trek versions of

418
00:18:41,520 --> 00:18:43,240
Guardians of the Galaxy.

419
00:18:43,240 --> 00:18:44,240
100%.

420
00:18:44,240 --> 00:18:45,240
That's the vibe.

421
00:18:45,240 --> 00:18:46,400
That was the trailer's vibe.

422
00:18:46,400 --> 00:18:49,680
Like quick, like, doon, doon, doon.

423
00:18:49,680 --> 00:18:51,840
Can we marvel Star Trek?

424
00:18:51,840 --> 00:18:54,660
Funny bit, action, talking.

425
00:18:54,660 --> 00:18:57,080
Funny bit, action, moody woman talking.

426
00:18:57,080 --> 00:18:59,780
Right, a moody person, I don't want to sexualise it.

427
00:18:59,780 --> 00:19:02,240
Funny bit, action, another person being moody.

428
00:19:02,240 --> 00:19:05,360
Break up with fast paced bits.

429
00:19:05,360 --> 00:19:08,200
Oh, funny quip, but not funny.

430
00:19:08,200 --> 00:19:10,200
It just, ugh.

431
00:19:10,200 --> 00:19:11,520
You're right.

432
00:19:11,520 --> 00:19:17,320
The trailer could just be utter shite and the TV movie itself could be pretty good.

433
00:19:17,320 --> 00:19:19,080
I just don't think it will be.

434
00:19:19,080 --> 00:19:26,760
I think if you jump onto the internet now, and I know forums can be the cesspit of all

435
00:19:26,760 --> 00:19:29,240
despair, let's not lie about that.

436
00:19:29,240 --> 00:19:35,280
Most forums are gate caps and horrible places, but if you look at what Star Trek fans are

437
00:19:35,280 --> 00:19:39,720
asking across the majority of them, none of them are asking for this.

438
00:19:39,720 --> 00:19:43,440
None of them are asking for, oh, it would be really good to have a Discovery version

439
00:19:43,440 --> 00:19:45,080
of Section 31.

440
00:19:45,080 --> 00:19:51,880
No, what they're asking for is Star Trek Legacy, mainly, let's have a show about Seven being

441
00:19:51,880 --> 00:19:52,880
captain.

442
00:19:52,880 --> 00:19:54,360
Yeah, that would be fucking awesome.

443
00:19:54,360 --> 00:19:57,520
Following on from the era of Picard, perfect.

444
00:19:57,520 --> 00:20:00,680
Or, guess what, save lower decks.

445
00:20:00,680 --> 00:20:07,520
I would, okay, so, I've already lost track of what I want to say because it's really,

446
00:20:07,520 --> 00:20:12,480
I've just found that trailer really fucking annoying.

447
00:20:12,480 --> 00:20:14,280
I really have lost train of thought.

448
00:20:14,280 --> 00:20:19,000
I would really like to have the Seven of Nine series, I'd want it to be serious.

449
00:20:19,000 --> 00:20:20,800
Like a serious series.

450
00:20:20,800 --> 00:20:22,360
I felt Picard was pretty serious.

451
00:20:22,360 --> 00:20:25,240
I'd like that to follow that.

452
00:20:25,240 --> 00:20:31,280
Because I think Seven of Nine, although in Voyager, she was kind of a bit of an odd character,

453
00:20:31,280 --> 00:20:32,600
she's serious.

454
00:20:32,600 --> 00:20:37,040
And I think they kept that she's a very serious character in Picard.

455
00:20:37,040 --> 00:20:38,160
I think they keep that.

456
00:20:38,160 --> 00:20:43,080
And you've got something like lower decks to have your comedy interludes and stuff.

457
00:20:43,080 --> 00:20:45,920
You don't need to have whatever this is.

458
00:20:45,920 --> 00:20:50,360
Lower decks and Prodigy gave you all the comedy Star Trek needed.

459
00:20:50,360 --> 00:20:55,520
It also gave you a good launch point for people that were new to Star Trek at a young age.

460
00:20:55,520 --> 00:20:59,880
And it gave a good launch point for people that were new to Star Trek that were adults.

461
00:20:59,880 --> 00:21:04,860
You could then move them onto any side of Star Trek because lower decks covered it all.

462
00:21:04,860 --> 00:21:06,040
They covered Deep Space Nine.

463
00:21:06,040 --> 00:21:06,960
They covered Voyager.

464
00:21:06,960 --> 00:21:09,600
They covered the original series.

465
00:21:09,600 --> 00:21:12,040
They covered the next generation.

466
00:21:12,040 --> 00:21:13,760
They covered the movies.

467
00:21:13,760 --> 00:21:14,760
They did it perfectly.

468
00:21:14,760 --> 00:21:18,920
So you've got a brilliant jumping off point for an adult.

469
00:21:18,920 --> 00:21:22,040
What's this going to give anyone other than a headache?

470
00:21:22,040 --> 00:21:25,600
Maybe it's just my headcanon for Section 31.

471
00:21:25,600 --> 00:21:27,920
I just don't see them like that.

472
00:21:27,920 --> 00:21:32,060
I see them as very serious.

473
00:21:32,060 --> 00:21:36,320
Like those serious but maybe have a little bit of a funny side.

474
00:21:36,320 --> 00:21:42,960
Like those two time characters that we loved in the Deep Space Nine episode.

475
00:21:42,960 --> 00:21:44,960
They weren't Section 31.

476
00:21:44,960 --> 00:21:46,600
Or even if you're going to marvelise it.

477
00:21:46,600 --> 00:21:47,600
You look at...

478
00:21:47,600 --> 00:21:50,840
Now you've seen Deadpool and Wolverine.

479
00:21:50,840 --> 00:21:53,960
The agents in that from the time people.

480
00:21:53,960 --> 00:21:56,200
That is what you expect Section 31 to be.

481
00:21:56,200 --> 00:22:01,920
It's be bureaucratic but they have significant power within the region that they're working

482
00:22:01,920 --> 00:22:02,920
in.

483
00:22:02,920 --> 00:22:03,920
Shield.

484
00:22:03,920 --> 00:22:04,920
Shield exactly.

485
00:22:04,920 --> 00:22:06,800
That's more of a...

486
00:22:06,800 --> 00:22:08,480
That's probably how I see Section 31.

487
00:22:08,480 --> 00:22:16,080
But when you see it's Section 31 where they're holding Data right in Picard.

488
00:22:16,080 --> 00:22:21,680
That's a very proper secret place.

489
00:22:21,680 --> 00:22:23,520
And this doesn't feel like that at all.

490
00:22:23,520 --> 00:22:25,400
I know exactly what this feels like now.

491
00:22:25,400 --> 00:22:27,320
You said Marvel and my brain just...

492
00:22:27,320 --> 00:22:28,320
It wasn't working.

493
00:22:28,320 --> 00:22:30,720
I know why it wasn't working now.

494
00:22:30,720 --> 00:22:32,400
It's not Marvel.

495
00:22:32,400 --> 00:22:34,080
It's fucking Suicide Squad.

496
00:22:34,080 --> 00:22:35,800
Dude, that's what I was thinking in my head.

497
00:22:35,800 --> 00:22:37,840
And you know what?

498
00:22:37,840 --> 00:22:39,800
It's the Will Smith Suicide Squad.

499
00:22:39,800 --> 00:22:40,800
Yeah, yeah.

500
00:22:40,800 --> 00:22:43,240
That's exactly what that reminded me of.

501
00:22:43,240 --> 00:22:44,240
Suicide Squad.

502
00:22:44,240 --> 00:22:45,240
Exactly.

503
00:22:45,240 --> 00:22:46,240
You are exactly right.

504
00:22:46,240 --> 00:22:49,680
It's Star Trek Suicide Squad and it's not the good Suicide Squad.

505
00:22:49,680 --> 00:22:53,280
Because I tell you what, the James Gunn Suicide Squad was fucking brilliant.

506
00:22:53,280 --> 00:22:54,800
I loved that film.

507
00:22:54,800 --> 00:22:56,840
And then I loved Peacemaker which came after it.

508
00:22:56,840 --> 00:22:59,720
It was brilliant as a TV series.

509
00:22:59,720 --> 00:23:03,540
We did just speaking about the Section 31 Picard.

510
00:23:03,540 --> 00:23:09,000
Do you know how that links to the shit show episode that we just did?

511
00:23:09,000 --> 00:23:10,000
No.

512
00:23:10,000 --> 00:23:19,160
The location of it, it's actual star location, the point whatever numbers, is the same ones

513
00:23:19,160 --> 00:23:25,120
that I told that Adam's character gets told to go live you at.

514
00:23:25,120 --> 00:23:26,440
So there you go.

515
00:23:26,440 --> 00:23:28,480
We kept it canon.

516
00:23:28,480 --> 00:23:31,240
And we're not even real Star Trek.

517
00:23:31,240 --> 00:23:34,040
This, god knows what it's going to do.

518
00:23:34,040 --> 00:23:38,680
Because apparently one of the, I looked up, one of the characters is going to be Rachel

519
00:23:38,680 --> 00:23:39,680
Garrett.

520
00:23:39,680 --> 00:23:43,840
Rachel Garrett, if you don't remember, is going to be the captain of one of the Enterprise.

521
00:23:43,840 --> 00:23:49,880
She'll be captain of the Enterprise C, which is the one that turns up in The Next Generation

522
00:23:49,880 --> 00:23:56,560
that was lost during a Romulan war and ends up coming into space where the Enterprise

523
00:23:56,560 --> 00:24:01,200
D is and they send it back with Yarr on board instead.

524
00:24:01,200 --> 00:24:05,040
Futures Enterprise or something like that I think the episode is.

525
00:24:05,040 --> 00:24:08,840
So they're trying to tie it, no.

526
00:24:08,840 --> 00:24:10,560
Just don't fucking do it.

527
00:24:10,560 --> 00:24:14,840
You know, I'd actually be more interested in finding out about Section 31 in the original

528
00:24:14,840 --> 00:24:17,960
series, oh this is the original series era technically.

529
00:24:17,960 --> 00:24:20,240
Yeah, that's the problem.

530
00:24:20,240 --> 00:24:24,420
Because she, yeah, Michelle Yao.

531
00:24:24,420 --> 00:24:26,000
Is from the Evil Empire basically.

532
00:24:26,000 --> 00:24:29,980
Yeah, but she's not from the future.

533
00:24:29,980 --> 00:24:32,360
She's in the, no.

534
00:24:32,360 --> 00:24:40,640
Yeah, so she's in the TOS timeline, the original series timeline as the alternate to the captain

535
00:24:40,640 --> 00:24:41,640
that watched her face killed.

536
00:24:41,640 --> 00:24:44,280
Yeah, I'm just trying to think, I don't think she went through time with them.

537
00:24:44,280 --> 00:24:45,280
No, she didn't.

538
00:24:45,280 --> 00:24:46,280
Yeah, so she's still in.

539
00:24:46,280 --> 00:24:48,920
She leaves the ship before they do all the timey wimey stuff.

540
00:24:48,920 --> 00:24:50,200
So she is back in.

541
00:24:50,200 --> 00:24:53,720
So it's just in that original, it's in Strange New Worlds era.

542
00:24:53,720 --> 00:24:56,200
Yeah, which is why that's even worse still.

543
00:24:56,200 --> 00:24:59,640
Yeah, because Strange New Worlds has been done brilliantly and guess what?

544
00:24:59,640 --> 00:25:04,300
It fit a little bit of comedy in, it didn't try it over the top and it worked.

545
00:25:04,300 --> 00:25:08,320
Because it's the camp comedy that we all know and love from all the other Star Trek's.

546
00:25:08,320 --> 00:25:14,840
Well, it's no different in comedy and story to some of the TNG episodes that had a little

547
00:25:14,840 --> 00:25:18,000
bit of humour injected into it.

548
00:25:18,000 --> 00:25:19,720
Just that trailer's rubbed me up the wrong way.

549
00:25:19,720 --> 00:25:20,720
Yeah, me too actually.

550
00:25:20,720 --> 00:25:24,720
And Paramount just don't seem to be doing what the fans want.

551
00:25:24,720 --> 00:25:31,400
They want lower decks kept, they want Star Trek legacy, whatever that might be, particularly

552
00:25:31,400 --> 00:25:33,920
Seven as Captain.

553
00:25:33,920 --> 00:25:34,920
That's it.

554
00:25:34,920 --> 00:25:35,920
Yeah.

555
00:25:35,920 --> 00:25:36,920
We don't want shit like this.

556
00:25:36,920 --> 00:25:39,920
There's loads of stuff like this happening.

557
00:25:39,920 --> 00:25:44,480
Just loads of it.

558
00:25:44,480 --> 00:25:46,200
Accessing library computer data.

559
00:25:46,200 --> 00:25:49,880
Right, so the lovely darling Adam Court.

560
00:25:49,880 --> 00:25:51,360
Hi baby.

561
00:25:51,360 --> 00:25:52,640
Hello darling.

562
00:25:52,640 --> 00:25:55,920
From the Lightly Used Podcast, part of the Studio Channel 84 network.

563
00:25:55,920 --> 00:26:00,280
Go listen now on all good podcast apps and the bad ones.

564
00:26:00,280 --> 00:26:05,720
He sent us something and I'm just going to read it verbatim to you.

565
00:26:05,720 --> 00:26:11,080
So Trek Q, maybe not show worthy, it is.

566
00:26:11,080 --> 00:26:12,680
Everything he sends is show worthy.

567
00:26:12,680 --> 00:26:18,000
Right, could a holodeck be run on or emulate a much older and limited version of their

568
00:26:18,000 --> 00:26:19,920
versions for retro gaming?

569
00:26:19,920 --> 00:26:25,880
I love that idea that there's like a retro gaming version of the holodeck.

570
00:26:25,880 --> 00:26:26,880
Can you imagine?

571
00:26:26,880 --> 00:26:32,240
You're on the Enterprise, you're going to the holodeck and you ask Data, how are you

572
00:26:32,240 --> 00:26:34,280
coming on with the N64 emulator?

573
00:26:34,280 --> 00:26:36,880
Nope, still can't get it running at full speed.

574
00:26:36,880 --> 00:26:39,080
Even with all of the Enterprise.

575
00:26:39,080 --> 00:26:42,640
Hang on, we're going to put the beta version up and then all of a sudden the combat goes

576
00:26:42,640 --> 00:26:43,640
off.

577
00:26:43,640 --> 00:26:45,720
Mr. Data, we've lost life support on the bridge.

578
00:26:45,720 --> 00:26:47,520
Can you tell me what's going on?

579
00:26:47,520 --> 00:26:48,520
Oh no.

580
00:26:48,520 --> 00:26:49,520
We're drawing too much power.

581
00:26:49,520 --> 00:26:50,520
Again.

582
00:26:50,520 --> 00:26:54,680
I mean, what's the equivalent of retro gaming?

583
00:26:54,680 --> 00:26:56,480
What would a retro holodeck be?

584
00:26:56,480 --> 00:26:58,440
You have to go in in a suit, a haptic suit.

585
00:26:58,440 --> 00:27:01,280
You have to walk in in a haptic suit.

586
00:27:01,280 --> 00:27:05,280
You walk into a holodeck and it generates a Quest 3 around your head.

587
00:27:05,280 --> 00:27:06,280
Yeah.

588
00:27:06,280 --> 00:27:09,120
It gives you a headache of motion sickness.

589
00:27:09,120 --> 00:27:13,920
No, what it is, you have to wear a haptic suit and then it gives you a bottle of gel

590
00:27:13,920 --> 00:27:15,960
and that's the stuff you have to use.

591
00:27:15,960 --> 00:27:20,720
It's like, please apply gel to section A312 of your haptic suit and then you're there

592
00:27:20,720 --> 00:27:23,360
squeezing it onto your groin.

593
00:27:23,360 --> 00:27:24,360
Nice.

594
00:27:24,360 --> 00:27:28,520
Yeah, and you have your own canisters built into your suit.

595
00:27:28,520 --> 00:27:34,520
After things like baseball machines to fire the balls at you when you're out doing baseball

596
00:27:34,520 --> 00:27:35,520
still.

597
00:27:35,520 --> 00:27:36,520
So you can see all the world.

598
00:27:36,520 --> 00:27:40,000
You feel like you're actually there, but there's actually something firing a ball at you.

599
00:27:40,000 --> 00:27:44,760
There were no safety controls in this era of virtual reality.

600
00:27:44,760 --> 00:27:46,080
So you get hit by the ball.

601
00:27:46,080 --> 00:27:47,080
Ow.

602
00:27:47,080 --> 00:27:48,920
Or they're like missing frames and stuff.

603
00:27:48,920 --> 00:27:52,320
I'll be Ryker in there about to have sex with someone who'd be on the bed and they'll be

604
00:27:52,320 --> 00:27:55,320
like it, it, it, it, it, it, it.

605
00:27:55,320 --> 00:27:56,320
Oh no.

606
00:27:56,320 --> 00:27:57,320
Hang on.

607
00:27:57,320 --> 00:27:59,880
The texture is not rendered in.

608
00:27:59,880 --> 00:28:01,760
Is that pubes or just bad texture?

609
00:28:01,760 --> 00:28:03,080
Oh, you bought the wrong one.

610
00:28:03,080 --> 00:28:04,440
You didn't put the ram chip in.

611
00:28:04,440 --> 00:28:07,000
Oh, you can't run this game.

612
00:28:07,000 --> 00:28:11,040
Ram his chip in.

613
00:28:11,040 --> 00:28:12,560
I love that idea though.

614
00:28:12,560 --> 00:28:13,560
Yeah.

615
00:28:13,560 --> 00:28:17,040
I love, or like it'll be everything you can drink as well.

616
00:28:17,040 --> 00:28:18,040
Just taste the water.

617
00:28:18,040 --> 00:28:19,040
It's just water.

618
00:28:19,040 --> 00:28:20,040
It's just water.

619
00:28:20,040 --> 00:28:25,000
I was going to say every drink tastes like water.

620
00:28:25,000 --> 00:28:28,000
Yeah, exactly.

621
00:28:28,000 --> 00:28:31,440
Every orifice feels like every other orifice because they just got one.

622
00:28:31,440 --> 00:28:32,440
It's a water snake.

623
00:28:32,440 --> 00:28:37,000
You've got to bring your own.

624
00:28:37,000 --> 00:28:38,960
Yeah.

625
00:28:38,960 --> 00:28:41,840
It's a universal capsule for your flesh light.

626
00:28:41,840 --> 00:28:43,840
Yeah.

627
00:28:43,840 --> 00:28:44,840
Big warning sign at the door.

628
00:28:44,840 --> 00:28:50,240
Please do not share your virtual reality equipment with anyone else.

629
00:28:50,240 --> 00:28:52,600
We do not accept cross contamination.

630
00:28:52,600 --> 00:28:54,280
Please wipe down all services before.

631
00:28:54,280 --> 00:28:57,280
Oh, I imagine what quarks would be like back in those days.

632
00:28:57,280 --> 00:28:58,920
Oh, don't worry.

633
00:28:58,920 --> 00:29:00,120
We've got our own.

634
00:29:00,120 --> 00:29:02,800
Just use the, use the bars version.

635
00:29:02,800 --> 00:29:04,680
Oh God.

636
00:29:04,680 --> 00:29:06,000
I've given it a spit shine.

637
00:29:06,000 --> 00:29:12,240
Yeah, that's kind of a bit like when you see them in like those films.

638
00:29:12,240 --> 00:29:15,440
Oh, what's the, the one with the pre cogs.

639
00:29:15,440 --> 00:29:16,440
Oh yeah.

640
00:29:16,440 --> 00:29:19,440
The Oola poopy poopoo ladies.

641
00:29:19,440 --> 00:29:20,440
Minority report.

642
00:29:20,440 --> 00:29:21,440
Yeah.

643
00:29:21,440 --> 00:29:22,440
He goes for a place on that doesn't he?

644
00:29:22,440 --> 00:29:26,720
And they've got the little rooms and they're all like in little booths with VR stuff and

645
00:29:26,720 --> 00:29:27,720
all the kinds of, yeah.

646
00:29:27,720 --> 00:29:28,720
That's what it'd be like.

647
00:29:28,720 --> 00:29:29,720
Or let's go back in further.

648
00:29:29,720 --> 00:29:33,120
Johnny Monomic, which was Keanu Reeves.

649
00:29:33,120 --> 00:29:34,120
Yeah.

650
00:29:34,120 --> 00:29:35,120
Oh yeah.

651
00:29:35,120 --> 00:29:40,000
He's a transport who uploads stuff to his brain and then uses that capacity to go around.

652
00:29:40,000 --> 00:29:42,080
Now here's one for you.

653
00:29:42,080 --> 00:29:50,040
What was the film where they had the VR thing, but it was like a weird organic creature that

654
00:29:50,040 --> 00:29:51,520
they plugged themselves into?

655
00:29:51,520 --> 00:29:54,360
Oh, existence with a Z at the end.

656
00:29:54,360 --> 00:29:55,360
Existence.

657
00:29:55,360 --> 00:29:56,360
Yeah, that was it.

658
00:29:56,360 --> 00:29:57,360
That's a good one.

659
00:29:57,360 --> 00:30:01,240
Is that the actor Jude Law in that?

660
00:30:01,240 --> 00:30:02,800
I think that is Jude Law.

661
00:30:02,800 --> 00:30:03,800
Yes.

662
00:30:03,800 --> 00:30:05,120
Very, very young man.

663
00:30:05,120 --> 00:30:06,240
I always remember that.

664
00:30:06,240 --> 00:30:07,960
That was always when I could never remember the name of it.

665
00:30:07,960 --> 00:30:09,400
I remember the film quite vividly.

666
00:30:09,400 --> 00:30:11,120
It was quite grim as well, wasn't it?

667
00:30:11,120 --> 00:30:12,120
That looked horrible.

668
00:30:12,120 --> 00:30:13,120
Yeah.

669
00:30:13,120 --> 00:30:17,360
It was kind of, they were like stroke it because it was like had feelings and stuff.

670
00:30:17,360 --> 00:30:21,880
So 1999 dimension picture, dimension films.

671
00:30:21,880 --> 00:30:24,480
Oh, it was David Cronenberg.

672
00:30:24,480 --> 00:30:26,800
That explains a hell of a lot.

673
00:30:26,800 --> 00:30:27,800
Yeah.

674
00:30:27,800 --> 00:30:33,640
Jude Law, Jennifer Jason Lee, Ian Holm.

675
00:30:33,640 --> 00:30:36,720
So Bilbo Baggins, isn't it?

676
00:30:36,720 --> 00:30:37,720
Willem Dafoe.

677
00:30:37,720 --> 00:30:38,720
Christopher Eccleston.

678
00:30:38,720 --> 00:30:39,720
Christopher Eccleston's in it.

679
00:30:39,720 --> 00:30:40,720
Yeah, I had no idea.

680
00:30:40,720 --> 00:30:46,760
I'll have to go back and watch that at some point.

681
00:30:46,760 --> 00:30:50,800
Yeah, it's a weird film, that one.

682
00:30:50,800 --> 00:30:51,800
Good but weird.

683
00:30:51,800 --> 00:30:52,800
Lord, my one man.

684
00:30:52,800 --> 00:30:57,280
Let's go back even further for like virtual reality.

685
00:30:57,280 --> 00:30:58,280
Yeah.

686
00:30:58,280 --> 00:30:59,280
Right.

687
00:30:59,280 --> 00:31:00,280
Yeah.

688
00:31:00,280 --> 00:31:01,280
Anyway.

689
00:31:01,280 --> 00:31:04,920
I think that they should be a retro one.

690
00:31:04,920 --> 00:31:05,920
Absolutely, they should.

691
00:31:05,920 --> 00:31:07,520
Because that'd be fucking wicked.

692
00:31:07,520 --> 00:31:12,040
Oh, and let's face it, you've got on Voyager, bloody Tom Paris going back, reliving black

693
00:31:12,040 --> 00:31:16,280
and white 60s sci-fi TV series.

694
00:31:16,280 --> 00:31:17,280
What was it?

695
00:31:17,280 --> 00:31:18,280
Captain Proton or whatever it was.

696
00:31:18,280 --> 00:31:19,280
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

697
00:31:19,280 --> 00:31:22,600
You're telling me none of them would have gone back and gone, I wonder what the games

698
00:31:22,600 --> 00:31:24,080
were like in the 90s.

699
00:31:24,080 --> 00:31:25,560
Yeah, exactly.

700
00:31:25,560 --> 00:31:26,560
Okay.

701
00:31:26,560 --> 00:31:28,080
Last question of his.

702
00:31:28,080 --> 00:31:32,200
As there are numerous deep space stations, are there shallow space stations or would

703
00:31:32,200 --> 00:31:37,840
shallow space presumably be around our solar system such as Galaxie and just called space

704
00:31:37,840 --> 00:31:38,840
stations?

705
00:31:38,840 --> 00:31:39,840
I think that's right.

706
00:31:39,840 --> 00:31:42,680
I think that's the wrong way of thinking about it.

707
00:31:42,680 --> 00:31:48,440
The deep space stations are, they got further away from Earth.

708
00:31:48,440 --> 00:31:51,680
Yeah, that's what he's saying pretty much.

709
00:31:51,680 --> 00:31:54,080
Is he, say it again.

710
00:31:54,080 --> 00:31:57,480
As there are numerous deep space stations, are there shallow space stations or would

711
00:31:57,480 --> 00:32:02,240
a shallow space possibly be around our solar system and just be called space stations?

712
00:32:02,240 --> 00:32:03,240
Yes.

713
00:32:03,240 --> 00:32:04,240
Sorry.

714
00:32:04,240 --> 00:32:05,240
Okay.

715
00:32:05,240 --> 00:32:06,240
Yeah.

716
00:32:06,240 --> 00:32:07,840
So deep space stations were space stations set up at the furthest points that the Federation

717
00:32:07,840 --> 00:32:11,200
had got to.

718
00:32:11,200 --> 00:32:15,440
And then yeah, the others are just Federation star bases, I guess.

719
00:32:15,440 --> 00:32:19,360
So they're within the territory that they'd already mapped out.

720
00:32:19,360 --> 00:32:22,360
So I think they were just star bases and space stations.

721
00:32:22,360 --> 00:32:27,280
But I like the idea of calling a shallow space station.

722
00:32:27,280 --> 00:32:28,280
I like that.

723
00:32:28,280 --> 00:32:34,040
But yeah, the deep space ones are funny because they crop up quite a lot in like TNG.

724
00:32:34,040 --> 00:32:36,800
We're going to be passing deep space five.

725
00:32:36,800 --> 00:32:38,160
We're going to dump you there or...

726
00:32:38,160 --> 00:32:39,480
Well, there's at least nine of them.

727
00:32:39,480 --> 00:32:40,760
Yeah, there's at least nine.

728
00:32:40,760 --> 00:32:43,280
And one of them is not even their own bloody design.

729
00:32:43,280 --> 00:32:44,280
Yeah.

730
00:32:44,280 --> 00:32:50,040
It's not ours, but we're going to call it deep space nine, but it's not your space station.

731
00:32:50,040 --> 00:32:51,880
It's called deep space nine.

732
00:32:51,880 --> 00:32:53,480
But what are the Bajorans call it?

733
00:32:53,480 --> 00:32:54,480
Deep space nine.

734
00:32:54,480 --> 00:32:57,520
But it's not... whatever.

735
00:32:57,520 --> 00:32:58,520
Just walk away.

736
00:32:58,520 --> 00:32:59,520
Yeah.

737
00:32:59,520 --> 00:33:01,480
You're the commander that punched Q in the face.

738
00:33:01,480 --> 00:33:02,480
I'm not going to argue this because...

739
00:33:02,480 --> 00:33:04,160
But it's called the Emblem of Peace.

740
00:33:04,160 --> 00:33:05,160
No, no, no.

741
00:33:05,160 --> 00:33:08,640
Deep space nine.

742
00:33:08,640 --> 00:33:17,680
It's called a shithole and it'll be nice to call it deep space nine.

743
00:33:17,680 --> 00:33:22,280
So those of you that listened in the last episode, Tuvok was a dick.

744
00:33:22,280 --> 00:33:28,080
He put those recruits who didn't even want to be there in the first place into a no-win

745
00:33:28,080 --> 00:33:29,080
situation.

746
00:33:29,080 --> 00:33:31,000
Let's just start with a nice, easy mission.

747
00:33:31,000 --> 00:33:33,640
Think about when we played Bridge Commander.

748
00:33:33,640 --> 00:33:39,120
The very first mission is just like, get to this planet, pick something up and come back.

749
00:33:39,120 --> 00:33:40,680
No, really easy.

750
00:33:40,680 --> 00:33:45,260
Just warm you up before you... no, no, throw them into a death trap.

751
00:33:45,260 --> 00:33:48,880
Make it your own version of the Kobayashi Maru and fuck them over.

752
00:33:48,880 --> 00:33:51,720
Well, I'll be Tuvok.

753
00:33:51,720 --> 00:33:53,760
I've got three missions.

754
00:33:53,760 --> 00:33:57,840
You can choose mission one, mission two, or mission three.

755
00:33:57,840 --> 00:34:02,960
And I'm just going to read what I've got here and you can explain how you will handle it.

756
00:34:02,960 --> 00:34:06,680
And if I choose to, I might say what then happens next.

757
00:34:06,680 --> 00:34:09,440
We'll see how it goes because I honestly don't know how this is going to go because this

758
00:34:09,440 --> 00:34:11,440
is very much on the fly.

759
00:34:11,440 --> 00:34:12,440
Okay, okay.

760
00:34:12,440 --> 00:34:13,880
What about number one then?

761
00:34:13,880 --> 00:34:15,440
You're going to go with mission one.

762
00:34:15,440 --> 00:34:19,880
Picard is off on a shuttlecraft with Wesley again.

763
00:34:19,880 --> 00:34:23,560
You're part of a non-cool shift, but you are in command.

764
00:34:23,560 --> 00:34:26,640
So the non-cool shift are the ones that you never see the TV series about.

765
00:34:26,640 --> 00:34:27,640
Yeah, okay.

766
00:34:27,640 --> 00:34:29,360
So it's Geordi, Ryker, no, they're fucked off.

767
00:34:29,360 --> 00:34:33,160
They're in this holodeck having sex with barkeepers and whatever.

768
00:34:33,160 --> 00:34:36,340
A spaceship arrives and hails the Enterprise.

769
00:34:36,340 --> 00:34:40,520
The alien has seven breasts, two mouths, and it blew from top to toe.

770
00:34:40,520 --> 00:34:43,280
She is claiming that she is pregnant with Picard's baby.

771
00:34:43,280 --> 00:34:44,280
Okay.

772
00:34:44,280 --> 00:34:45,840
Oh, so now I go.

773
00:34:45,840 --> 00:34:47,840
Now you take over.

774
00:34:47,840 --> 00:34:48,840
Okay.

775
00:34:48,840 --> 00:34:52,920
Okay, well, when did you see Picard?

776
00:34:52,920 --> 00:34:55,920
Is he with you?

777
00:34:55,920 --> 00:34:56,920
Are you going to...

778
00:34:56,920 --> 00:34:57,920
I'm going to talk to her.

779
00:34:57,920 --> 00:34:58,920
I'm going to talk to her.

780
00:34:58,920 --> 00:34:59,920
You're talking to her.

781
00:34:59,920 --> 00:35:00,920
Okay.

782
00:35:00,920 --> 00:35:02,920
I'm not going to immediately say that you're bullshitting.

783
00:35:02,920 --> 00:35:06,760
I'm going to be, okay, well, you're going to need to prove that information.

784
00:35:06,760 --> 00:35:07,760
He's not here.

785
00:35:07,760 --> 00:35:08,760
We can't ask him.

786
00:35:08,760 --> 00:35:10,120
So is he with you?

787
00:35:10,120 --> 00:35:11,400
No, no.

788
00:35:11,400 --> 00:35:23,320
We met a month and a half ago at an intergalactic, federation led ceremony, celebrating the rituals

789
00:35:23,320 --> 00:35:25,200
and lives of Rigel Seven.

790
00:35:25,200 --> 00:35:29,240
Could you tell me your name and all your credentials so I can actually check that please?

791
00:35:29,240 --> 00:35:30,240
Yeah, my name is Barbara.

792
00:35:30,240 --> 00:35:33,240
Is that what the translator gives me?

793
00:35:33,240 --> 00:35:34,240
Barbara.

794
00:35:34,240 --> 00:35:35,240
Yeah, my name is Barbara.

795
00:35:35,240 --> 00:35:36,240
Name is something completely different.

796
00:35:36,240 --> 00:35:39,760
The universal translator brings me Barbara.

797
00:35:39,760 --> 00:35:51,120
And I am Chief Nursery Nurse to the Queen of the planet that I'm from, which I really

798
00:35:51,120 --> 00:35:54,040
can't make up on the spot.

799
00:35:54,040 --> 00:35:55,040
That will do.

800
00:35:55,040 --> 00:35:56,040
Okay.

801
00:35:56,040 --> 00:36:00,120
So I'm going to go put that in the computer and check that she was actually at this place.

802
00:36:00,120 --> 00:36:01,120
Okay.

803
00:36:01,120 --> 00:36:02,120
Pronouns?

804
00:36:02,120 --> 00:36:03,120
I've said she.

805
00:36:03,120 --> 00:36:04,120
Okay, she.

806
00:36:04,120 --> 00:36:05,120
Right, sorry.

807
00:36:05,120 --> 00:36:09,320
So where she's from and whether she was actually there and whether Picard was actually there.

808
00:36:09,320 --> 00:36:10,320
So I'm putting that into the computer.

809
00:36:10,320 --> 00:36:14,920
Now the fact is, even though you're the non-call kind of team, data is on the bridge.

810
00:36:14,920 --> 00:36:15,920
So you can quickly do it this way.

811
00:36:15,920 --> 00:36:16,920
Okay, data, just tell me then.

812
00:36:16,920 --> 00:36:18,920
Data is always just awake basically.

813
00:36:18,920 --> 00:36:19,920
Okay, well data will just tell me.

814
00:36:19,920 --> 00:36:23,800
He's typed it all in and he can confirm that they were both at the same location at this

815
00:36:23,800 --> 00:36:24,800
event.

816
00:36:24,800 --> 00:36:25,800
Right, okay.

817
00:36:25,800 --> 00:36:29,660
What does she want me to do about it exactly?

818
00:36:29,660 --> 00:36:35,120
She is demanding that Picard either takes her to a clinic or...

819
00:36:35,120 --> 00:36:37,120
For what?

820
00:36:37,120 --> 00:36:49,880
Well, she would like him to merge with her again to finalise their lovemaking process,

821
00:36:49,880 --> 00:36:51,800
which will then allow the baby to be born healthy.

822
00:36:51,800 --> 00:36:54,760
Right, so it's like a two shot go.

823
00:36:54,760 --> 00:36:56,560
Right, okay.

824
00:36:56,560 --> 00:36:57,560
That's what she's saying.

825
00:36:57,560 --> 00:36:58,560
That's what she's saying.

826
00:36:58,560 --> 00:37:02,840
Right, so data, can you give me information about the actual...

827
00:37:02,840 --> 00:37:04,760
No, we've never visited this planet.

828
00:37:04,760 --> 00:37:06,200
So we don't know who they are.

829
00:37:06,200 --> 00:37:08,160
No, we just introduced them into the Federation.

830
00:37:08,160 --> 00:37:12,240
It's one of these ones that we kind of just said we need to do a token planet, so we chose

831
00:37:12,240 --> 00:37:13,240
them.

832
00:37:13,240 --> 00:37:14,800
And can I communicate with Picard in any way?

833
00:37:14,800 --> 00:37:17,320
No, he's off with Wesley and you know what they're like.

834
00:37:17,320 --> 00:37:19,800
They're probably having sandwiches and tea and ignoring the transplonder.

835
00:37:19,800 --> 00:37:22,320
Also, it would take a week to get a message to him.

836
00:37:22,320 --> 00:37:29,320
Okay, then I'll have to politely tell this alien that we can't confirm any of this information.

837
00:37:29,320 --> 00:37:35,600
Picard isn't available at the moment to speak to her and he'll be available at whatever

838
00:37:35,600 --> 00:37:37,040
point of time that he is available.

839
00:37:37,040 --> 00:37:43,360
Okay, so she stands up on the viewfinder, rams two fingers in tight of herself, pulls

840
00:37:43,360 --> 00:37:47,840
out a giant lump of blue goo, sticks it in a pot and it's suddenly beamed in front of

841
00:37:47,840 --> 00:37:48,840
you on the Enterprise.

842
00:37:48,840 --> 00:37:51,120
Okay, that's fucking gross.

843
00:37:51,120 --> 00:37:52,120
So this is a not...

844
00:37:52,120 --> 00:37:54,880
She's now highly offended that you've said that's fucking gross to her.

845
00:37:54,880 --> 00:37:57,480
She's put her shields up and weapons are charging.

846
00:37:57,480 --> 00:37:58,480
No, I didn't say that.

847
00:37:58,480 --> 00:37:59,480
I was thinking to you.

848
00:37:59,480 --> 00:38:00,480
I'm sorry, but that's...

849
00:38:00,480 --> 00:38:01,480
I did not say that.

850
00:38:01,480 --> 00:38:02,480
No, I didn't.

851
00:38:02,480 --> 00:38:05,880
She's weapons charged.

852
00:38:05,880 --> 00:38:09,880
You need to bring this...

853
00:38:09,880 --> 00:38:10,880
You need to calm this down.

854
00:38:10,880 --> 00:38:11,880
Shields, shields, red alert, shields.

855
00:38:11,880 --> 00:38:14,880
Oh no, she's now taking that as a threat of violence.

856
00:38:14,880 --> 00:38:15,880
That's not violence, that's self-defense.

857
00:38:15,880 --> 00:38:20,400
32 more of her ships have appeared out of nowhere.

858
00:38:20,400 --> 00:38:22,160
Shields and weapons available.

859
00:38:22,160 --> 00:38:25,280
What are you doing to get yourself out of this, Rob?

860
00:38:25,280 --> 00:38:29,240
Well, has she beamed a half-fertilized fetus?

861
00:38:29,240 --> 00:38:30,240
Is that what the blue stuff is?

862
00:38:30,240 --> 00:38:33,520
No, I think it's just a DNA sample she's given you.

863
00:38:33,520 --> 00:38:34,520
I was just...

864
00:38:34,520 --> 00:38:36,320
I think that might be what it is.

865
00:38:36,320 --> 00:38:39,520
Okay, I'm really sorry that I offended you.

866
00:38:39,520 --> 00:38:41,840
I was just quite shocked.

867
00:38:41,840 --> 00:38:43,720
This isn't me starting a fight with you.

868
00:38:43,720 --> 00:38:44,720
This is just...

869
00:38:44,720 --> 00:38:49,640
This is standard Starfleet procedure, as you know, as a new member of Starfleet, that when

870
00:38:49,640 --> 00:38:54,200
somebody charges their weapons, we have to instantly go to red alert and raise our shields.

871
00:38:54,200 --> 00:38:56,240
She says, we haven't read the book yet.

872
00:38:56,240 --> 00:38:57,720
We really can't be bothered.

873
00:38:57,720 --> 00:39:02,840
Again, we're the token race that you've just decided to somewhat invade and say we're part

874
00:39:02,840 --> 00:39:03,840
of the Federation now.

875
00:39:03,840 --> 00:39:04,840
Okay, well I'm...

876
00:39:04,840 --> 00:39:05,840
Apology accepted.

877
00:39:05,840 --> 00:39:06,840
Okay, thank you.

878
00:39:06,840 --> 00:39:13,120
And may I suggest in the future you do actually read the manual, but for now we'll skip over

879
00:39:13,120 --> 00:39:16,200
that small end of it.

880
00:39:16,200 --> 00:39:20,960
Can I ask you what this stuff is that you've just beamed over to the ship?

881
00:39:20,960 --> 00:39:25,600
Test it and it will prove that Picard was in me.

882
00:39:25,600 --> 00:39:29,440
In you as in a sexual nature or did you absorb him?

883
00:39:29,440 --> 00:39:30,920
Sex.

884
00:39:30,920 --> 00:39:34,320
What you define as sex?

885
00:39:34,320 --> 00:39:35,320
Yeah.

886
00:39:35,320 --> 00:39:40,520
Okay, well who's the doctor on this ship?

887
00:39:40,520 --> 00:39:41,520
Beverly is, I guess.

888
00:39:41,520 --> 00:39:42,520
Yeah, yeah, go on.

889
00:39:42,520 --> 00:39:43,520
No, let's wake Beverly up.

890
00:39:43,520 --> 00:39:50,480
You've woken up Bev, who's a bit pissed off and is like, I don't even like your crew shift.

891
00:39:50,480 --> 00:39:51,480
What are you doing?

892
00:39:51,480 --> 00:39:52,480
Can you have a look at it?

893
00:39:52,480 --> 00:39:53,480
I'm muted on the com, right?

894
00:39:53,480 --> 00:39:54,480
Yeah, you're muted on the com.

895
00:39:54,480 --> 00:39:59,480
Can you scan this blue fucking gunk?

896
00:39:59,480 --> 00:40:04,640
That fucking alien's just sent over.

897
00:40:04,640 --> 00:40:09,480
Right okay, so Bev has taken it away and scanned it and she's come back onto the bridge looking

898
00:40:09,480 --> 00:40:11,320
upset and very worried.

899
00:40:11,320 --> 00:40:15,080
Oh, I didn't really think about her relationship with Picard.

900
00:40:15,080 --> 00:40:18,640
Okay, tell me what you found out.

901
00:40:18,640 --> 00:40:20,680
Right, Captain Rob.

902
00:40:20,680 --> 00:40:22,040
Is it full of spunk?

903
00:40:22,040 --> 00:40:26,120
You have infected the entire ship with a deadly contagion.

904
00:40:26,120 --> 00:40:30,800
You should have followed Starfleet Command, which is anything like this that's a biohazardous

905
00:40:30,800 --> 00:40:34,440
thing it should have been immediately put into some sort of reciprocal that would have

906
00:40:34,440 --> 00:40:40,400
been protected by a field and was not basically spread around the ship by the air conditioning

907
00:40:40,400 --> 00:40:41,400
on the bridge.

908
00:40:41,400 --> 00:40:44,120
Okay, so this is an Elixir cheese situation.

909
00:40:44,120 --> 00:40:49,040
Somewhat, everyone is now going to die and sadly it's going to be within the next five

910
00:40:49,040 --> 00:40:50,040
seconds.

911
00:40:50,040 --> 00:40:53,680
Oh hang on, Data, why did you not stop me from doing this?

912
00:40:53,680 --> 00:40:54,680
You fucking bitch.

913
00:40:54,680 --> 00:40:58,560
And everyone on the Enterprise is dead.

914
00:40:58,560 --> 00:41:04,640
So what we're going to take from that is you should not have allowed them to beam something

915
00:41:04,640 --> 00:41:09,080
on board or you should have sent it straight back or you should have channeled your inner

916
00:41:09,080 --> 00:41:12,400
Mr. Wharf and just fired torpedoes at her.

917
00:41:12,400 --> 00:41:13,400
Oh fuck off.

918
00:41:13,400 --> 00:41:15,840
No way would you have done that.

919
00:41:15,840 --> 00:41:20,600
Well, that was how you could have won that scenario, but that's a shame.

920
00:41:20,600 --> 00:41:21,600
I'm unfortunate.

921
00:41:21,600 --> 00:41:22,600
Okay, right.

922
00:41:22,600 --> 00:41:23,600
Okay.

923
00:41:23,600 --> 00:41:32,200
Okay, Mr. Rob, you failed that first mission.

924
00:41:32,200 --> 00:41:33,840
Would you like to do mission two or mission three?

925
00:41:33,840 --> 00:41:35,240
Am I one of the Mackie's?

926
00:41:35,240 --> 00:41:39,280
No, you're just a shit Starfleet Ensign.

927
00:41:39,280 --> 00:41:41,280
Oh, I'm Ensign Rob.

928
00:41:41,280 --> 00:41:42,280
Okay.

929
00:41:42,280 --> 00:41:44,000
I'll guess go for number two.

930
00:41:44,000 --> 00:41:46,760
I'll do them in the order that you wrote.

931
00:41:46,760 --> 00:41:49,200
You are commanding Voyager.

932
00:41:49,200 --> 00:41:54,600
You're still stranded in the Delta Quadrant and Janeway has buggered off to fuck Chakotay,

933
00:41:54,600 --> 00:41:57,280
Jacoza even, or maybe go and get some coffee.

934
00:41:57,280 --> 00:41:58,280
I'm not sure.

935
00:41:58,280 --> 00:41:59,280
She's just off the bridge as normal.

936
00:41:59,280 --> 00:42:04,280
Having a fag drinking coffee getting railed by Jacoza.

937
00:42:04,280 --> 00:42:05,960
I forgot about this.

938
00:42:05,960 --> 00:42:08,960
I only wrote this like two hours ago.

939
00:42:08,960 --> 00:42:09,960
Okay.

940
00:42:09,960 --> 00:42:12,960
A Bork cube appears.

941
00:42:12,960 --> 00:42:16,960
A transwarp conduit appears.

942
00:42:16,960 --> 00:42:20,960
Wait for it.

943
00:42:20,960 --> 00:42:26,960
They have the air choice mother on board.

944
00:42:26,960 --> 00:42:31,960
I want to give her back.

945
00:42:31,960 --> 00:42:34,960
Ray Shields.

946
00:42:34,960 --> 00:42:40,960
Ray Shields, you can't turn the phone for your shields.

947
00:42:40,960 --> 00:42:41,960
Ray Shields.

948
00:42:41,960 --> 00:42:42,960
Ray, alert.

949
00:42:42,960 --> 00:42:45,960
Let's get the fuck out of here.

950
00:42:45,960 --> 00:42:48,960
Full warp.

951
00:42:48,960 --> 00:42:51,960
Full warp.

952
00:42:51,960 --> 00:42:56,960
And Parrish should get a full fucking warp.

953
00:42:56,960 --> 00:42:59,960
The Bork cube is keeping up with you, Captain.

954
00:42:59,960 --> 00:43:00,960
Just ignore them.

955
00:43:00,960 --> 00:43:01,960
They've opened the haging frequency.

956
00:43:01,960 --> 00:43:06,960
Or you can hear his choice mother saying, come back.

957
00:43:06,960 --> 00:43:12,960
Pretend we've already been assimilated by the collective.

958
00:43:12,960 --> 00:43:17,960
You said you were going to surrender and assimilate.

959
00:43:17,960 --> 00:43:20,960
We're going to pretend.

960
00:43:20,960 --> 00:43:21,960
Turn the...

961
00:43:21,960 --> 00:43:22,960
Put us to green alert.

962
00:43:22,960 --> 00:43:27,960
And we're just going to put our voices on.

963
00:43:27,960 --> 00:43:30,960
Okay, so I'm going to ask the hail game.

964
00:43:30,960 --> 00:43:31,960
Ready?

965
00:43:31,960 --> 00:43:32,960
I'm asking.

966
00:43:32,960 --> 00:43:33,960
Right.

967
00:43:33,960 --> 00:43:34,960
Okay.

968
00:43:34,960 --> 00:43:38,960
On the view screen.

969
00:43:38,960 --> 00:43:40,960
Everything is now dark green.

970
00:43:40,960 --> 00:43:49,960
The Bork have come to a stop while they're trying to work out what's actually going on.

971
00:43:49,960 --> 00:43:57,960
This is Robicus9231A.

972
00:43:57,960 --> 00:44:00,960
Why do you pursue...

973
00:44:00,960 --> 00:44:04,960
Deanna Troy's mother is a fucking nightmare.

974
00:44:04,960 --> 00:44:06,960
Please take her from us.

975
00:44:06,960 --> 00:44:08,960
We cannot assimilate this bitch.

976
00:44:08,960 --> 00:44:10,960
She will ruin us.

977
00:44:10,960 --> 00:44:11,960
Negative.

978
00:44:11,960 --> 00:44:14,960
Picard's virus had nothing on this one.

979
00:44:14,960 --> 00:44:15,960
Negative.

980
00:44:15,960 --> 00:44:18,960
She has tried to fuck 300 drones.

981
00:44:18,960 --> 00:44:20,960
Negative.

982
00:44:20,960 --> 00:44:28,960
Unfortunately, the Borg have worked out your field frequency and have boarded the ship without Deanna Troy's mother.

983
00:44:28,960 --> 00:44:38,960
We are requesting asylum.

984
00:44:38,960 --> 00:44:40,960
No.

985
00:44:40,960 --> 00:44:42,960
Oh.

986
00:44:42,960 --> 00:44:44,960
No.

987
00:44:44,960 --> 00:44:48,960
We are on a secret mission from the Borg Queen.

988
00:44:48,960 --> 00:44:50,960
The Borg drone can see that you're not a Borg.

989
00:44:50,960 --> 00:44:52,960
They are on the bridge looking at you at this point.

990
00:44:52,960 --> 00:44:54,960
I'm just going to keep up.

991
00:44:54,960 --> 00:44:59,960
This is a Terminator situation. We're like new versions.

992
00:44:59,960 --> 00:45:02,960
The Borg drone kills himself on your deck.

993
00:45:02,960 --> 00:45:05,960
The voice comes over the view screen again.

994
00:45:05,960 --> 00:45:08,960
We will continue killing ourselves until you take her.

995
00:45:08,960 --> 00:45:15,960
Why do I fucking care if the Borg kill themselves?

996
00:45:15,960 --> 00:45:17,960
Janeway did it.

997
00:45:17,960 --> 00:45:20,960
Are you following the Janeway guide because genocide is okay?

998
00:45:20,960 --> 00:45:21,960
Yes.

999
00:45:21,960 --> 00:45:24,960
Well, successfully you completed this mission. Well done.

1000
00:45:24,960 --> 00:45:31,960
Yes.

1001
00:45:31,960 --> 00:45:33,960
Okay, Ensign, you've got one more mission.

1002
00:45:33,960 --> 00:45:34,960
Okay.

1003
00:45:34,960 --> 00:45:38,960
You're stranded on planet Anal Fisher 32.

1004
00:45:38,960 --> 00:45:47,960
It's Class M, but native race aren't happy that you've beamed into their religious erogenous zone.

1005
00:45:47,960 --> 00:45:52,960
You have lost contact with your ship and are commanding four red shirts.

1006
00:45:52,960 --> 00:45:55,960
The race are out for blood.

1007
00:45:55,960 --> 00:45:58,960
Okay. What are they going to do with the red shirts?

1008
00:45:58,960 --> 00:45:59,960
Fuck them. Kill them.

1009
00:45:59,960 --> 00:46:04,960
So I'll point out this is the original series era.

1010
00:46:04,960 --> 00:46:08,960
Okay. So what actually do they want the red shirts for?

1011
00:46:08,960 --> 00:46:13,960
Well, they're pissed off that you've landed in their religious sex zone basically.

1012
00:46:13,960 --> 00:46:15,960
Okay. Then I'm going to...

1013
00:46:15,960 --> 00:46:19,960
You can't communicate with the Enterprise. It's out of communication for the moment.

1014
00:46:19,960 --> 00:46:20,960
Who's with me?

1015
00:46:20,960 --> 00:46:23,960
You've got four red shirts that you're commanding.

1016
00:46:23,960 --> 00:46:29,960
Okay. I'm going to tell them to take off their red shirts and hand their red shirts over to them.

1017
00:46:29,960 --> 00:46:32,960
You've told your team to remove their red shirts.

1018
00:46:32,960 --> 00:46:37,960
This has made the native race sexually angry at them now.

1019
00:46:37,960 --> 00:46:39,960
Sexually angry?

1020
00:46:39,960 --> 00:46:44,960
They have never seen the skin of a human before and it aroused them and angered them.

1021
00:46:44,960 --> 00:46:47,960
Things are turning to the worse side of things now.

1022
00:46:47,960 --> 00:46:50,960
Okay.

1023
00:46:50,960 --> 00:46:52,960
Ent and Jimmy is now being raped.

1024
00:46:52,960 --> 00:46:55,960
Oh my God. Again. Well, you've still got your trousers on.

1025
00:46:55,960 --> 00:46:57,960
And Ent and Jimmy's dead.

1026
00:46:57,960 --> 00:47:00,960
Okay. Let me think.

1027
00:47:00,960 --> 00:47:04,960
Sorry. I took it too literally. I thought you literally wanted their red shirts.

1028
00:47:04,960 --> 00:47:05,960
Ent and Bob has now been pinned down.

1029
00:47:05,960 --> 00:47:07,960
Bob? Okay. No, I'm going to start...

1030
00:47:07,960 --> 00:47:09,960
Okay. We'll get our phasers out and start shooting them.

1031
00:47:09,960 --> 00:47:12,960
No. Sorry. They were connected to their red shirts and you threw them at them.

1032
00:47:12,960 --> 00:47:13,960
Well, mine aren't.

1033
00:47:13,960 --> 00:47:14,960
Ent and Bob's now dead.

1034
00:47:14,960 --> 00:47:16,960
No, I'm going to start shooting them to kill.

1035
00:47:16,960 --> 00:47:20,960
Ah, right. Okay. So you are now breaching the...

1036
00:47:20,960 --> 00:47:22,960
Oh God. What was it called?

1037
00:47:22,960 --> 00:47:26,960
Their firm bloody rule in the Federation and I can't bloody remember it.

1038
00:47:26,960 --> 00:47:28,960
The Prime Directive. There you go.

1039
00:47:28,960 --> 00:47:30,960
No, I think the Prime Directive is fine.

1040
00:47:30,960 --> 00:47:35,960
If they started fucking all of my crew to death, I'm allowed to open fire at this.

1041
00:47:35,960 --> 00:47:40,960
Yes, but this was your away mission and you chose to land in their sex religion zone.

1042
00:47:40,960 --> 00:47:43,960
I didn't know it was their sex originist zone.

1043
00:47:43,960 --> 00:47:46,960
Did you not bother reading the manual you were meant to have beforehand?

1044
00:47:46,960 --> 00:47:47,960
I delegate.

1045
00:47:47,960 --> 00:47:51,960
We did study this planet and you didn't seem to read any notes.

1046
00:47:51,960 --> 00:47:55,960
Well, I delegate. And why are my crew members not saying to me you can't park there?

1047
00:47:55,960 --> 00:47:56,960
Oh, Jimmy's now on the floor.

1048
00:47:56,960 --> 00:47:58,960
Well, I'm shooting him. I've already shot them.

1049
00:47:58,960 --> 00:47:59,960
Oh, Jimmy's dead. Is he?

1050
00:47:59,960 --> 00:48:01,960
No, I haven't shot Jimmy. I shot him.

1051
00:48:01,960 --> 00:48:02,960
You just shot Jimmy.

1052
00:48:02,960 --> 00:48:03,960
Jimmy. I shot him.

1053
00:48:03,960 --> 00:48:05,960
Oh God. It's you and Ent and Timmy now. What are you going to do?

1054
00:48:05,960 --> 00:48:08,960
I'm going to shoot everyone. Timmy is... I'm saving Timmy.

1055
00:48:08,960 --> 00:48:11,960
I'm going to fucking kill everyone here apart from Timmy.

1056
00:48:11,960 --> 00:48:14,960
Timmy was up at the top of the cliff. He was fine. He was safe.

1057
00:48:14,960 --> 00:48:17,960
He was trying to get contact with the Enterprise by banking an aerial

1058
00:48:17,960 --> 00:48:19,960
and you just shot him off a cliff.

1059
00:48:19,960 --> 00:48:22,960
You're not reading your notes or asking the questions you need to.

1060
00:48:22,960 --> 00:48:24,960
You've just killed an innocent man.

1061
00:48:24,960 --> 00:48:28,960
Right, fine. How would fucking two fuckers have done this?

1062
00:48:28,960 --> 00:48:33,960
Well, as it's the original series, I would have taken a leaf out of Kirk's book and fucked them.

1063
00:48:33,960 --> 00:48:36,960
Oh. I didn't think to just shag them.

1064
00:48:36,960 --> 00:48:39,960
Yeah, well, it's the original series and that's pretty much how Kirk got out of things.

1065
00:48:39,960 --> 00:48:42,960
He either used word salad or he had sex with them.

1066
00:48:42,960 --> 00:48:44,960
Oh, okay. Then I just...

1067
00:48:44,960 --> 00:48:46,960
You just killed your own team.

1068
00:48:46,960 --> 00:48:51,960
You made them strip in front of already horny religious people.

1069
00:48:51,960 --> 00:48:56,960
You made them strip down and then mercy killed them,

1070
00:48:56,960 --> 00:48:59,960
including one that didn't require a mercy killing.

1071
00:48:59,960 --> 00:49:02,960
Well, I think he just took my things too literally.

1072
00:49:02,960 --> 00:49:06,960
You need to be careful with what you say if you're in command, Ensign.

1073
00:49:06,960 --> 00:49:14,960
Ah, you're going to end up having to clean up all the gunk in the holosuite for this one.

1074
00:49:14,960 --> 00:49:19,960
Command functions are offline.

1075
00:49:19,960 --> 00:49:23,960
He's on his own, ladies and gents. I'm not doing it this week.

1076
00:49:23,960 --> 00:49:25,960
I'm not chipping in and helping him.

1077
00:49:25,960 --> 00:49:27,960
That's the only way he'll learn.

1078
00:49:27,960 --> 00:49:29,960
Throw him in the deep end.

1079
00:49:29,960 --> 00:49:33,960
That section needs a name and it's got to become a regular feature every now and again.

1080
00:49:33,960 --> 00:49:36,960
My face hurts. Oh my God.

1081
00:49:36,960 --> 00:49:38,960
That Deanna Troi one.

1082
00:49:38,960 --> 00:49:39,960
Deanna Troi's mother.

1083
00:49:39,960 --> 00:49:40,960
Oh my God.

1084
00:49:40,960 --> 00:49:43,960
Probably will end up as a mission in multiple ones of those.

1085
00:49:43,960 --> 00:49:47,960
Yeah, that was... Oh my God, my face.

1086
00:49:47,960 --> 00:49:51,960
Okay, so we are the Untitled Trek Show

1087
00:49:51,960 --> 00:49:55,960
and we are part of the Studio Channel 84 network of podcasts.

1088
00:49:55,960 --> 00:49:56,960
He's doing well so far.

1089
00:49:56,960 --> 00:50:02,960
Part of that network is us, obviously, and our other podcast that we both are in every other week

1090
00:50:02,960 --> 00:50:07,960
is the variety show. We talk nostalgia and other stuff.

1091
00:50:07,960 --> 00:50:13,960
We've also got the Who Takes Sauce Off with Simon and Ross

1092
00:50:13,960 --> 00:50:18,960
and we have got Lightly Used with Karen and Adam.

1093
00:50:18,960 --> 00:50:21,960
If you would like to contact us, we are on all social media

1094
00:50:21,960 --> 00:50:27,960
at at underscore Untitled Trek or at underscore... Is it Channel 84?

1095
00:50:27,960 --> 00:50:28,960
It is, yes.

1096
00:50:28,960 --> 00:50:30,960
It is for you directly.

1097
00:50:30,960 --> 00:50:34,960
You can email us at podcasts at channel84.co.uk.

1098
00:50:34,960 --> 00:50:41,960
That's plural podcasts or individually, Rob at channel84.co.uk or Tom at channel84.co.uk.

1099
00:50:41,960 --> 00:50:43,960
That's everything, I think.

1100
00:50:43,960 --> 00:50:44,960
That is everything. Well done.

1101
00:50:44,960 --> 00:50:46,960
Yay.

1102
00:50:46,960 --> 00:50:48,960
You can do it next week as well now.

1103
00:50:48,960 --> 00:50:54,960
Thanks, everyone. Hope you enjoyed the mess.

1104
00:50:54,960 --> 00:50:58,960
It was a fun episode, as much of a mess as it was.

1105
00:50:58,960 --> 00:51:03,960
That was a lot of fun. We went from angry to in pain from laughing.

1106
00:51:03,960 --> 00:51:05,960
Yeah. Great fun.

1107
00:51:05,960 --> 00:51:08,960
What would you do with Deanna Troye's mother?

1108
00:51:08,960 --> 00:51:11,960
Yeah, what would you do? Next week, Spock's Brain.

1109
00:51:11,960 --> 00:51:14,960
Spock's Brain, we're going the original series.

1110
00:51:14,960 --> 00:51:16,960
Original series, Spock's Brain, season three, episode one.

1111
00:51:16,960 --> 00:51:17,960
Sounds good.

1112
00:51:17,960 --> 00:51:19,960
See you at the Hollywood Work. Love you, everybody.

1113
00:51:19,960 --> 00:51:20,960
Love you. Bye.

1114
00:51:20,960 --> 00:51:21,960
Bye.

1115
00:51:26,960 --> 00:51:29,960
Thank you for listening to the Untitled Trek Show.

1116
00:51:29,960 --> 00:51:34,960
This station is now shutting down and will be back in two weeks.

1117
00:51:34,960 --> 00:51:52,960
May the Force live long and prosper inside of you.

1118
00:51:52,960 --> 00:51:56,960
This was a Studio Channel 84 network show.

1119
00:51:56,960 --> 00:52:06,960
To find more, head over to channel84.co.uk now.