I'm just going to press record now and wonder if everyone can pick up that bloody dog.
How do I make the TV go?
How do I make the Apple TV work up here?
Hello. It's a Chromecast, not an Apple TV for God's sake. It was in an HDMI 4.0. I've
been messing around.
Oh, it's all Rob's fault.
I've got, I think I might have linked it to you, like a 30 pound composite to HDMI converter.
Yes, I remember you sending me that.
Really good. Genuinely really good. The best one I've seen, I've seen a few.
Okay.
It's a change between 480, 720 and 1080. It's got a little switch and yeah, it's a bloody
dog.
Really going for it tonight.
I think you might not pick it up. The SNES comes through really good on it and so does
the Mega Drive.
Nice.
Whereas they don't normally come through very well on some and particularly the SNES is
a classic one for not coming through very well.
Yeah. They always look pretty pony on most of those things.
And it's also on a massive television, which also is like a big faux pas. You know, when
I had the slightly smaller one, it's going to make me sound like I'm right fucking snob
with stuff, but I got a TV from a client because they were going to bin it and I was like,
don't bin it, I'll just take it. And I got it. I got the motherboard repaired for a hundred
quid from a repair place. So it's a 42 inch 4k Samsung for a hundred quid.
Can I just interject though? There are so many things you can do to fix most TVs, especially
modern TVs. So Gem, when she lived at her flat had a, well, I can't think of which
make it was now. It was my, it was either a Toshiba or a Panasonic TV. I think it was
a Toshiba TV and the backlight went on it. And I went over, I put my torch against the
screen and it's, oh no, the picture's still there. It's just the backlight's gone. I think
it cost me 25 quid on eBay to buy a replacement backlight. It took me 20 minutes to get the
back off, put the new one in and screw it back together. Boom, done. I'm not an electrician
at all. It was piss easy though. And that TV lasted for another three or four years.
I used to solder the pots on say LG power boards because that's always what would go.
We'd all always buy LGs, me, Miranda, a few friends of mine, Chris and Jane. And Jane's
one I think I repaired hers twice over the years because the pots would just go on it
and just, okay, open up, put the pots in the pots. You'd buy like 50 of them for like three
quid and you just sold a new one's on off you go. And they're really easy because they'd
all literally be blown.
It's just, it's, it's really annoying that people just throw away things like that because
it is so easy to fix a lot of them. I know they're not meant to be serviceable by you,
but they've been made pretty serviceable.
Yeah. Some of them at TVs aren't that bad. I don't know really about OLEDs and stuff now.
I've never had to repair any.
No. And things with that dinette. Well, so I've got one of those LED TVs that's got the
area dimming. So if there's no picture on there, it dims it and you, well, you've seen
it in my office. It's almost like an ammo LED. It's almost as black and as dark. It's really
nice. I'd hate to see what the lighting behind that's like.
Yeah. The, if that, when those things go wrong, they do go wrong.
Oh, absolutely. But the TVs we can buy cheap that most people have in like bedrooms and
stuff, you can fix them.
Yeah. Enter authorization code.
That was an interesting start to the Star Trek.
That's a bit of a random start to a Star Trek podcast, granted.
Almost cold open-ish, but without the jokes. So what have you been up to?
Fuck all. Work. It really has just been work. And I've just been writing some sporadic bits
of code that we suddenly needed because we started a new project and we thought rather
than just wing it and build what we need through kind of mouse clicks and stuff, let's actually
do what we do after we've built it and seen it work and just build it from scratch in
code first. And then once we know it's working from that point, it's easier to roll out instead
how we previously, as I said, previously, we normally do things. We just launch things
like Azure portal. We'll create what we need in there and then we'll work it out later
if that works for what they need. And no, we did it a different way. So it's been a
bit of a busy week. So I've not watched any TV. I've not watched any sci-fi, not watched
any films. I think the last film I watched was with Jem and we watched the menu, which
had nothing to do with sci-fi, but it's a bloody good film. It's weird. Weird as hell.
Ralph finds in it is amazing.
That's the one where they all go to the place, isn't it?
That's it. They go to his restaurant. It's a little bit weird and things start
not going wrong. It's all for a purpose, but
Is it a bit knives outy? Not the comedy, but the kind of principle of it, like knives out,
they all go to one place and they all start getting murdered.
Basically yeah, they've all gone there, but they don't really know the reason they're
there. They all think they're there because they love this restaurant and they love this
chef and it's impossible to get a table. What none of them realize is that they've all contributed
in some way. It's almost a little bit like saw.
Okay.
It's weird to say when it's such a complete opposite of film style, but in saw, the original
saw, if you remember it, the two people are in the, and in fact all the people in saw,
the reason that he's captured them and he's done these things to them is to remind them
what life is about and not to waste what they have. In the menu, he's basically, everybody's
in there. He sees as a failure of humanity and why he doesn't want to really be a chef
anymore.
Yeah.
So weird, but it's really good. Really worth watching. It's on Disney plus at the moment.
He just saw what happened.
I did. I just saw the world's smartest dog open the door and then come, ha ha daddy.
I've opened the door.
He's not the clever one.
Oh, he's not the clever. He's learning.
Yeah, he's learning.
He's learning people. He's learning.
Sorry, that was Link just opened the door.
Right.
When it's only Loki.
It's only Loki. Yeah.
Loki the banana stealer.
Yeah, so it's not my turn to talk yet, but I will say what Loki did today was I'd made
all my lunch, zipped up the lunch bag, put it on the kitchen counter, go is and was like,
I need to go to toilet, went to toilet. But time I come out the toilet, the lunch bag
wasn't on the floor. It was still on the counter, but moved unzipped and the bananas were gone
and eaten.
That is an impressive dog you have bred.
Yeah, I don't know. It's the unzipping that gets me.
Dog wraps a human hybrid.
Yeah. You've played cult of the lamb.
I have been playing cult of the lamb. Yeah, I've played a little bit, but this week probably
no more than an hour here or there.
Yeah.
And I may have watched an episode of Laura Laura SVU, but really, I haven't done much
else. It really has been a bit of a lemon of a week really.
And panic editing the variety show.
I've been playing cult of the lamb, lots of it. Probably about half an hour at least
every night before I was going to bed. Dog's now got a squeaky toy.
I'm so glad I don't edit this one.
Oh my God. Yeah, so literally it took me all week to generate 26 sin. Because I wanted
to get a particular...
Sin watch.
Yeah, sin watch. I wanted to get a particular... What is it? A gown? What's the thing that
you...
The cloak.
The cloak thing that the lamb wears and you spend 10 sin. I got to 20 because for some
reason I thought I had to spend 20 on it, but it's actually only 10.
Right.
And I thought that you start with a blunderbuss every time. So I got that. So now every time
I go in something, I will start with a blunderbuss.
Nice.
Which is good because I quite like the blunderbuss. It actually makes some of the smaller, more
annoying enemies a bit easier.
Right. Okay. Because the doctrine that is not doctrine, it might be the doctrine. Whichever
bit I've unlocked, I now start every map straight away with four tarot cards.
Yeah, I've got that too. Yeah, I did that one.
I thought, you know, I'll choose that one. It makes so much more sense than going around
and finding the tarot card by tarot card because it's almost, you're going to end up with those
ones anyway.
That's the cloak. I think that's one of the cloaks.
You're right.
So now I won't have that because I've chosen this blunderbuss one. So I'm going to see how
I get on with it. Breeding them like mad. That costs sin. Upgrading the temple. So now
as you saw, it's like a horrific hell bone palace. That costs a lot of sin.
It's feeling very cultish.
Yeah. I've got lots of fire totems, all kinds of stuff going on in mine. There's a lot of
sex, a lot of drinking and the little fuckers, when they drink those, they fight. So they
fight each other. So I'm breaking up fights all the time. They damage ornaments. They'll
destroy them. So I'm going around repairing the ornaments that they're destroying.
It's such a weirdly lovely game. It's just got so much to it.
But it's not annoying. That's the thing. When all those things happen, another fight between
the two really adorable fox things.
Don't get me wrong. In the early stages, like I am, it does get a bit draining. You come
back and your faith's down at the bottom. They're all hungry. They've shit everywhere
and your toilets are full up. But I've got to that point now that I've got past that
initial phase. It doesn't feel as much of a slog anymore. So as much as I enjoyed that
initial slog, it's a bit more calmer now and I can enjoy doing the dungeons a bit more
without thinking, I've got to try and finish this in seven to eight minutes each time.
Otherwise, I know I'm going to go back to just all hell on earth.
When you've got about 12, 13 followers, it's like the sweet spot because you're not really
going to lose enough faith. Everyone's working. You've got stuff going on.
They're certainly working in my world.
Yeah, we know they're working in yours. So you're not going to come back to a mess. It
really only gets to nine. There's a point again, you have to have 20, which I can't
get over 17. They keep fucking dying or something happening. So I can't at the moment, can't
get past 17. And it then starts to feel a bit more like the beginning where you have
to really manage the faith because you get people starting to be funny, being naughty,
fighting each other and all of their bad traits really affect a bit more. So lots of cutthroat
with them. I've just spoke a lot about colour. We've watched all of Daryl Dixon, which is
Walking Dead. So they've done some spinoffs. I think I said how I watched the Roshone and
whatever the main character from Walking Dead is. They did one. Oh my God, they're now fighting.
They are real characters tonight. They're normally good as gold. One of them's normally
down by my feet, quite happy. The other one's on the sofa with you. Tonight they're just
acting up. It's because she took Link for a run. So he's come back, he's all hyped up.
Whereas we'd normally done it earlier. So they're knackered, but at this point. And
then we watched the whole of the bins, the whole of the first season of Daryl Dixon,
the book of Daryl. It was brilliant. It's a bit unrealistic. He goes unrealistic in
the zombie thing. He hasn't been to France. So he's gone from America to France. And you're
like, well, how have you got to France? For a lot of the series, how did you get to France?
Yeah. Zombie apocalypse. None of the world exists, but you just so happen to manage to
have an aircraft or a boat that's got enough fuel, food supply and talented people to operate
that vehicle to get to France.
Well, it's a big tanker in the end and it does explain it all. It is actually quite
believable. So in the end it makes sense. But for first you're like, come on, you just
wanted to do this in France. And, and then we started the season two of it, which is
called the book of Carol, which is like his best friend. Darryl and Carol is a bit funny
that they're similar names, but we didn't realize they're not all out yet. So we've
watched two episodes and now we've got to wait every Sunday, which is frustrating because
only six episodes. But then there's another one, which has got two characters, Negan,
who's a massive character in the series, a real bad, bad guy. And one of the girls,
I'm so bad with names. I don't know. We just started that one. That's got the episode
out and that was set in New York. Her, her son's been taken hostage. So she's getting
Negan because the person who's taken her son hostage was, was part of his gang when he
was the leader of the gang. So, and they hate each other because Negan killed her husband
with a baseball bat in front of a great episode. Family friendly show, family friendly show,
watching the children. And that I think is it. Yes. Lots of zombie stuff and cut the
lamb. I think that's it. Oh, a lot of writing. I've been writing. Yeah. We're looking forward
to that writing. Yeah. Writing and writing. It's the curve we like to learn on the learning
curve. Season one, episode 16 of Star Trek Voyager. Yes. His last episode of the season,
right? Episode 16 is the last episode of that season. I don't know. Let me have a look.
It doesn't really kind of end like a season ending, but for some reason Paramount kind
of offered it to me like it was the last episode. Oh, thank you. The dog's just passing me a
really wet squeaky toy. Lovely. You know what? I'm just having a quick look here. Episode
guide, season one. Yeah. Okay. What is going on? Is it the last episode? So this says season
one episode 15 is learning curve, but all the web pages say it's episode 16. So I'm
guessing it's caretaker or two parter. Yes. Yes. One hour 31. So that'll be why then.
Okay. So yeah, so it is the end of the series. Right. Okay. And then we come onto episode
two, series two, which is more like it, which is up to 26 episodes. And it ends with a gap
in the middle between episodes like the one where Picard gets turned into the Borg and
so on. And I would wonder if I do wonder if they do that because season one of Voyager
was, is it going to be hit or is it going to be miss? Is it too much sending them out
into the Delta quadrant and making it all depressing or so maybe they didn't end it
with that kind of typical ending of a season because they thought it's not going to happen.
It might not happen. Yeah. But all in all, I enjoyed this episode. It was odd. Kind of
weird kind of parts to it. I've got a lot of notes on it. Not so much about the cheese.
No, the cheese, the cheese is a really, really, really, really small bit. Yeah. Considering
it's all the cheese's fault. It's actually quite a small part of the episode. And scarily,
I'm going to say, Neelix isn't as annoying in this episode as he normally is. I actually
got more annoyed with Tuvok through this episode. Yeah. Tuvok was frustrating. Yeah. It's really
full on Vulcan dickhead, isn't it? Like, it's so obvious why what he's doing isn't working.
And I actually really think Vulcan would notice that that was the reason it was something
he was doing. He'd logically be like, okay, what's happening? Occam's razor. The simplest
answer is the answer. Once you've, sorry, not the simplest answer. That's not Occam's
razor. Occam's razor is when all other avenues are gone, whatever's left is probably the
answer. Yeah. I'm pretty sure that's Occam's. Anyway, but yeah, the answer is-
Oh, just cut it. He would have bloody well worked out what he was doing wrong. Not just
gone and sat miserably near Neelix alone. Yeah. Just sitting there all broody. Because
he's not half human. He's full Vulcan. He's full on Vulcan prick. Yeah. So maybe he would
have gone- As we saw in his tight training uniform.
Yeah. He might have gone and meditated. I think Realistic would have gone back to his
quarters and meditated on it and thought about it. And probably overanalyze the whole situation
and go, okay, well remember two of them are human. One's a weird blue guy with a zip down
the middle of his head. And the other one is-
Bajoran. Yep.
So it's like, well, they all've got emotions. They're all, what could this possibly be?
Oh yeah, it's me. I'm the twat.
Yeah. I mean, do you want to do a quick brief rundown of the episode? Do you want me to
do the run?
No, I can do it. So it's start, you know, it's things start going funny with some, I've
got it written down in here, some bio-
Bio gel.
The bio gel packs, which they're using to run most of the ship's systems. They start
acting up. Tuvok catches one of the marquee crew members fixing it and he's not been told
he's meant to, which is against the Starfleet rules. And it turns into a whole thing about
loads of the marquee being kind of retaught how to do things Starfleet way by Tuvok, probably
the worst person to do it. It felt like it was a punishment to him is what I'll get to
that later, but that's what it felt like. He was the one getting punished.
It's teaching the marquee people to suck eggs.
Yeah, essentially.
Who takes the socks off?
And then there's a little bit, there's a little side bit about Neelik's making some food and
making his own cheese. And it turns out that's what's causing these packs to go get a disease,
a virus or something. And then that's what's wrecking all the system. That's essentially
the episode.
Yeah, a hundred percent. And then the final part of the episode is the turnaround of Tuvok
basically.
Yeah, which probably lasts a little over one episode probably.
Oh, a hundred percent. And we'll probably never see those other characters ever again,
or they'll die in the next episode.
Yeah, I'm trying to think.
We had an away mission. We lost them all. Oh well.
Yeah, it would be good if, what would be a really good thing is if the, if Krum and Dolby
was a returning character, but only a bit character with Tuvok, seeing him having a
drink with Tuvok in the canteen, things like that, seeing actually they've both turned
around and become friends after quite a, you know, not a good relationship that they have.
I think that would be a nice touch to not even have to register it for people who have
been watching the series all the way through, maybe like season three, he just has a pan
shot and it's them two just having a drink in the bar. That would be a nice thing. Maybe
they do it. I doubt it.
See, I'm absolutely horrible. I'm personally thinking as Tuvok and realising that Dolby
now knows his weakness and has seen a nice side of him, I'd be issuing him with every
dangerous mission that comes up. Just have Dolby, well he's picking on me, isn't he?
He's sending me for every dangerous mission. I've been on holodeck cleanup duty now 30
times this month. One a day. And it's Pomfah.
Yes. Or be like, it's Tuvok's birthday and Dolby froze him like a surprise party and
Tuvok's are really flustered and you get one of those moments like it's an American sick
com of just Dolby going, that's so Tuvok. Do you know what I mean? Like an old friend
just like, ugh.
Spoilers, I don't think we ever hear of Dolby ever again.
I don't think we do either. IMDB will probably say.
He gets flushed out into space at some point, never to be seen again.
Right. Let's get on with it.
Accessing library computer data.
So as a wonderful episode for any voyager should start, we start in the holodeck.
We do. I've got lots of notes on that. I'm very, very, very quickly looking at Dolby
now to see did he at, oh god he was in the happening and in vanilla sky. I'm on salt.
Really?
He was in quite a lot. For such a shit role he had in this, he's actually had some good
roles.
So who would like to know about the holodeck? I feel like most of the holodeck stuff is
always Victorian times or mafiosa kind of time periods. There's a massive period of
time between them and 2630 whatever the fucking hell Star Trek is in.
Once. He plays Dolby once.
Okay so he's never back again.
So yeah, okay. Right. So the notes I've got on this is what is the obsession, so it's
obviously we're on the same wavelength here, what is the obsession with going back to the
old times?
Pride and prejudice. They all want to be in pride and prejudice.
Is the future that bleak for all of Star Trek, next generation voyager, that they look forward
going back to a time where basic illnesses killed people daily? Oh little Timmy's got
the cold. I will be dead by tomorrow.
What is that? Oh god this is gonna fucking, I'm gonna have to cut all this and be just
um, um.
What are you looking for?
Consumption.
Oh yes she died of consumption.
It's all because of scarlet fever.
Oh so scarletina at that point, scarlet fever yeah, either or. Or German measles.
Yeah.
But the thing is, you're right they always seem to go back in time and I just think it
must be so miserable that they go back to this time. And what's even worse, Henry and
Beatrice, the kid actors they got were brilliant.
They were fucking great yeah.
They were really great. But Janeway says, computer bring back the characters for Janeway
program Lamber One. She wrote this program and she's written Henry to be a little shit
and she doesn't realise he's gonna be a little shit. She's like, what are you saying to me?
You programmed him. You programmed him in this Latin. Why are you surprised by this?
You saying that has now made me realise I never noticed that.
She wrote this program yet Henry comes out and starts yabbering Latin. That would be
like me going, right, hmm, what would be a really good game? Oh I know Surgeon Simulator
but it's really, really realistic and it really counts on me and I'm gonna get really invested
in that game. I'm gonna go in there and then realise, I'm not fucking surgeon. They're
now asking me to do this complex brain surgery. I'm not going to enjoy this game anymore.
Maybe it's just, she's got a folder on the server called Janeway and she's been on the
Play Store and downloaded this and saved the file as Lambda, whatever it was called.
And I bet she's got a folder for Jacote as well.
I bet she's fucking hell. I'd hate to see the extra server space they needed for fucking
dirty Kim.
I've also got here, yeah, how many gel packs does he go through a day? Kim, you've got
to stop asking the computer to generate so many of those things. I've got, to be fair,
I'd use the holiday experience to work out some of my stress as well. My Latin scrap
is it, my backhand isn't though. Kim goes flying across the room. I'm not going to get
in trouble because you're a hologram.
And you know what? The perception filter was turned off because he noticed she disappeared.
Well played, well played indeed. The perception filter must have been off.
Or set to random.
I hadn't even picked up on that. That's brilliant. Yes.
Yeah, because the girl disappears and that's the first sign of the energy grid failing.
Yeah. And I've got, don't you just hate how power fluctuations just randomly wipe out
a character of your game? Amazing, isn't it? Your lights flicker at home and suddenly your
game's got no more end boss. You've just completed the game. That was easy.
Yeah, easy. And yeah, so I think we are going to finish this episode bit by bit because
it just feels like that's the right way of doing this one.
This one definitely.
Yeah. And then, so she starts moaning about her time and Chakotay's looking to it. And
then we get the scene with Tuvok walking down the corridor. He thinks he just speaks to
Chakotay to go and check out one of these sections.
Yes, he's heading down there.
And there we meet the wonderful crewman Dolby who is doing a really good job to be fair.
He's found something wrong with a gel pack and he's just fixing it.
Yeah, absolutely.
He wasn't asked to do it. He was walking past as he says, so we just did it.
Now we see the gel pack later and we'll talk about that later, but we do see it come out.
And as soon as I saw it, all I could think of, that looks like a spicy battery pillow.
It's come out, it's black, it's swollen. It looks like a laptop battery that's swollen.
Yeah, it does. But it's filled with like blue soap, hand soap.
Yeah, basically.
That's what it looks like.
Now I've got to say, this is where I start to hate Tuvok straight away.
Yeah.
So I've got, my initial thoughts are, it's just too fiery, isn't it? He literally comes
out Tuvok says one thing to him, one thing, and he blows his top and loses it at him.
And then I thought, you know what, I'm thinking about this wrong. I've got, these people were
rebel fighters.
They've been captured by the federation with the idea that they're going to be put into
prison. They're then recaptured a second time by an alien being who then puts them out in
the Delta Quadrant. So they're probably never going to see their family again in their minds.
So actually I'd be pretty fiery if someone comes up to me and says, well, why the fuck
did you do that? It's not protocol. When my entire life has been, I've been on a ship.
If something needs fixing, whoever's nearest tries to fix it because otherwise we all die.
This again is a failure of Starfleet. This is the fate of Starfleet. They've taken this
crew in. I know it's all Voyager. So it's Janeway's problem or whoever is supposedly
in charge of that aspect of the ship.
So rather than just taking a script, oh, you're an engineer. Okay. You go be an engineer.
Now put this uniform on. I know that you used to wear that really cool brown leather jacket
and studs on it, but now you're going to wear this uniform. Off you go. No, you can like,
okay, what you can do is if you want to leave the brig for the whole time we're in the Delta
Squadron, then you need to be part of the crew. The way you're going to do that is you
now need to go through this re-education. You're going to get put in the stocks and
once a day I'm going to click a button on you and re-educate you.
Yeah. And we're going to, I like it. Nice call on the lammer. I'll go with the clockwork
orange. We're going to pin you down to a chair. We're going to put drops in your eyes and
we're going to show you horrible things and then teach you.
Yeah. And that's what they needed. So basically what really happens at the end of this, not
at the end, as we go through what Tuvok does, they should have done that, but nice from
the beginning. And if you don't want to do it, okay, then you stay in the brig and you'll
just be in the brig the entire time. And eventually they'll go, okay, I want to come out the brig.
You know, I've been in here for six years. I'd like to come out now, please.
I've seen enough people die. I'm pretty sure I'm ready not to die in here. So let's go
for it. Yeah. It's just, it feels so completely wrong. And I'd be as pissed off as he was.
So literally I've just saved engineering a job because I was here and now you're having
a go at me. You're saying, I couldn't piss me off. But yeah, Tuvok later goes in, I'm
not very far, but literally one or two scenes ahead of this goes in and says, well, they
need to be brought up to speed on because the ship can't run without protocol. Well,
actually it's running better because he went and did it before anyone realized. And before
anyone filled in form 7AB on the bloody tricorder to say, can we send an engineer here? Oh yes,
it's been approved by the duty leader. The bureaucracy of Starfleet. I genuinely don't
think looking at it now from this aspect, I don't think Starfleet would have ever got
out of our bloody galaxy, let alone to anywhere else because the bureaucracy would never have
let them. It's interesting. Well, because they put Chikote, who was the captain of that
ship as the first officer that they kind of, that makes, really this is a very tall conversation
about episode one of Voyages, isn't it? Kind of makes sense because it brings their crew
into the fold. That was the idea. And that's what you got from episode one. They basically
said we need a fair standing. So Janeway said, well, you'll be my first officer then. But
then they've put like, Bielana Torres as the lead engineer. But she wasn't. Don't forget,
I think it's midway through season one, she's not head engineer. There is no lead engineer.
He dies. So it's her versus another engineer. And the other engineers just, again, he's
a real cunt. He's a Starfleet person. So basically he's a complete cunt going, you're a marquee,
you don't deserve to be here. I went through the academy. I've never been in jail, blah,
blah, blah. I should be head engineer. And Chikote puts Bielana forward for it. She doesn't
think it's a good idea. And it's Janeway that persuades her and Janeway eventually gives
it to her. So yeah, you're right. But it's just weird.
Well, I kind of feel like with her being the lead engineer, she'd be okay with Dolby doing
that because that's how they did it on their old ship.
And she trusts him because that's exactly from the old times. She trusts him. But you
can't tell me with all that bureaucracy, anything would actually run smoothly. Yeah, it wouldn't.
No, it wouldn't. If he saw that and was like, oh, this broken, okay, I now need to fill
out this form to see if I'm allowed to do it. Oh shit, this Jeffrey tubes full of fire
at the moment. I'll go and complete the form, go and speak to the duty supervisor, speak
to the captain, and then I'll go and get the fire extinguisher. Oh, no, they've told me
that that's not my job today. I'm meant to be on holodeck cleanup. So I've got to go
and do holodeck cleanup and hopefully someone else will come and deal with that. It's just
it's rubbish. They in any job, there must be some autonomy of the person. Yeah, they
must have the ability to just do what they need to, as well as following protocol.
So these these two have a big round, don't they? Well, one side of round because two
boxes being a stoic twat and Dolby's yelling at him. And then we get to walk basically
bitching about him to Janeway in Chicago. So we get to the bridge and Janeway moans,
we've only got 47 gel packs in stock. First of all, who sends out a brand new ship with
that little stock of gel packs? And secondly, who sends out a ship with technology that
they can't replicate themselves to fix? Now, can she not replicate it because they can't
or can she not replicate it because they have a power of replicator rations because that
comes up later because they're rationing the replicators. Yeah, true. But then you wouldn't
say we've got 47 stock, they'd say if we run out that 47 worst case scenario, it's going
to go to even more rationing of the replicator because we need to make gel packs, it comes
more across that they can't. Hence the regions he says, not she's a who says it's maybe
Belana says, why don't we move back? I know Chacote does. Why don't we move some of the
stuff back to the old iso linear stuff? Yeah, yeah. Well, if you've got the old technology,
why aren't you already doing that when you've got 47 of these bloody things left? I would
have got everything onto the old system at that point. Yeah, before that had even happened.
It's like, what's the riskiest part? Well, you know, those blue things in the wall that
really, if they go wrong, we all die. Can we move any of that to a different? Yeah, we
can. Let's do that. Then let's do that. Yeah. It's like taking away the kid playing with
matches next to the box of fireworks. Yeah, you do that. You don't just say, well, it's
not nothing bad to happen. Let's we'll wait a bit longer. Just again, it's the bureaucracy
of it. Yeah. And then yeah, we're in the office. They're moaning about Dolby. And it says like,
he's already been reprimanded for tampering with a replicate to increase the rations for
his friend, which I was like, I love that. And then missed three out of his last 10 shifts.
Yeah. So I've got the hacking and the missing shift is a problem. I agree. That's a problem.
But what really pissed me off in this scene, and again, I liked this episode, but a lot
pissed me off as well. To what? He nearly lost control. No, he didn't. Yeah. He raised
his voice. You're making it sound like he nearly lumped you and he got in your face.
He's like, yeah, come on, bitch. I'll take you on. Yeah. No, he just lost his raised
his voice and then stormed off. That's not losing control. That's probably being in good
control. He knew he needed to walk away from the situation. Precisely. Yeah. He's gonna
get death gripped. Again, that comes up late. And then yeah, he has this bit I felt was
really condescending how they were saying that they needed a truck. Specifically, I
think they said a crash course in operations to bring them up to speed. Yeah. And I thought
that is really condescending is that they know what they're doing. They just don't do
your way of doing it. 100%. And I've got maybe bring some of the Starfleet team up to speed
with dealing shit as it happens instead. Yeah. Who am I going to? Which ship am I going to
be want to be on? If I've got two ships there and I've just got a crew of freshly trained
Starfleet cadets, or I've got a ship full of marquee people who just do things as it's
needed. I think I'd rather be on the marquee ship. Yeah. Because the Starfleet just gonna
go. What does the textbook say about that? The marquee people are going to go shit. There's
a giant fire there. Let's put it out. You keep flying the ship. Yeah. It needs that
mix. Yeah. And you just don't get it. And yeah, you're right. It's really fucking condescending
to bring them up to speed. Fuck off. And this is where they decide that Tuvok is going to
be the one who has to do the training. And I do feel like it's a little bit of a secret
punishment on Tuvok. Oh, 100%. They know that he's done this. Yeah. Because you can see
Jakota in the background have a big smirk. Where particularly when Jakota is the one
who has to pick the people. And I think he purposely picks four that are going to be
difficult for Tuvok to manage. Yeah. You know, a young guy who doesn't want to interact,
Dolby the moody bastard, the woman who's a moody bastard. And then the annoying chatterbox
blue zip man. Blue zip man. Yeah. So like all four things that the Vulcan doesn't want
to have to deal with. He gets given. What I've got here is it's like that saying, shit
moves up, blame goes down. Yeah. And it feels like, yeah, Tuvok, you're blaming down there.
But guess what? The shit's now moved up and you're dealing with it.
You normally say that shit goes down because you're shitting down. Yeah. But when it's
talking about, so when you're talking in business, if you've got someone who you can't fire,
you promote them. Right. And you promote them into the next level of job. And what you then
hope for is they get that next level of job and they go, Oh, it's time for a job change
because I can get better money elsewhere with this job title. And off they go. And they
leave. Right. Got you. Interesting. So the blame normally passes down. How can you do
it? I can't fire them because they've technically not done anything requiring being fired. But
if we promote them internally, they'll then get the better job details and they'll go
and get a better job somewhere else. Even though they can't do that job. That's not
our problem anymore. Someone else's problem at that point. Yeah.
And that thing about these four people, we meet them in the next bit and I actually quite
like the blue guy and I really how they introduced him because they're doing the other three.
He didn't know there was a fourth. And then suddenly he steps forward right in front on
kind of side on and just starts talking. So, Oh, it's a little bit shocked that there's
other persons here and he just talks. But it's interesting because I'll take it. He's the
same race as the hairdresser in the next generation who always talks. So it's nice that they've
kept that specific species or whatever you want to call race, sorry. Not species yet,
is race of person. They're chatter boxes. They're a pain in the ass.
Yeah. And I've always been weirded out by that makeup, that weird crease they've got
down the middle of their whole head and face and calling it a zip because that's what it
kind of looks like. It looks like once upon a time, their head would open sideways.
A bit like Independence Day.
Yeah. And have something in there to get you. I've got here, Janeway's probably made a mistake
assigning this to Tuvok. I can see by the end of this, Voyager burning in the middle
of the Delta Quadrant, all hands lost.
Yeah. And a big stack of forms that were filled out of being asked to do the jobs.
Yep. Now I've not made any comments about any of the others. So what you're saying,
Stolby's moody, woman is moody, Blue Boy's just chassis, Bajoran, right, sorry. He's
just a kid. He's at least fucking 30.
I wouldn't go and say he's 30. He's in his 20s.
Oh, he's not in his 20s. He's at least 30. He's got a five o'clock stubble going on.
Yeah. When they call him, he's just a kid. I wouldn't have placed him as just a kid.
He's in college, minimum. Minimum is in college.
Unless he's maybe a little backwards that way.
Well, he's old enough to be on a marquee ship.
Yeah, but the marquee accepted children basically. So rebel fighters were from being a child
onwards. So if you could hold a gun, you could be a fighter basically sort of thing, which
is true if you look at any sort of the guerrilla warfare that goes on in some of the third
nations of our world, children often are grouped into that. So that's just a carry on from
that basically.
And I think Dolby says it, he's absolutely right. Completely insulting. Tuvok just insults
them completely whether he means to or not.
And they leave, then they won't do the thing.
They're leaving. Did you spot what's in the background? It's not Mug Watch, don't worry.
No, what is it?
So, oh no, they still have those deadly wharf back breaking barrels in service.
I didn't see those.
They haven't learnt.
Oh, all right. And funny you should say about Mug Watch because it's now 12 minutes and
44 seconds in Mug Watch.
We get our first mugs. Oh, and boy do we get some good mugs here. We get these beautiful
little tea cups and saucers that are kind of fatter at the bottom. They've got like
a beautiful silver top to them. Black saucers, like saucers, like a black colour. It looks
like it might be matte. Do you notice the handles? They've got a weird shaped handle.
And she was even drinking.
They're very elaborate.
She was drinking it like she was drinking a posh tea, like she was from some Jane Eyre
novel or something.
And then...
And let's face it, they would not have had that on the marquee ship.
No.
And then she's like, this is the best thing that's happened. A good mug.
Yeah. And the dude clearly is drinking some kind of alcoholic drink because it's a weird
metal pint glass-ish size with weird knobbly bits on the side, like six knobs on it. Really
weird. Like it looked like a tin bucket, but the size of a, of a pint glass. Very odd.
Really liked it. Squared bottom, but round at the top, if you noticed. Very nice.
It's a great design choice when they do things like that.
And then Tuvok comes in, right? By the way, they were all clearly empty. They could not
act drinking them at all. Tuvok, right? I didn't get this bit. He comes in, he picks
up one of those himself from the bar. It just happens to be on the bar in the bind.
Chakote, not Tuvok. Sorry, Chakote. Yeah, I didn't see him ask for it. He just picks
it up. And then he tuts the blue guy off the chair. He just gets off it.
Does his best Riker spin.
Does a Riker spin. He doesn't step over it, but he does turn it round and sit back to
front of it. Starts talking like a bollocks and then wallop. Smacks Dolby in the face.
Yeah, so I've got to go Chakote. Yeah, because he basically says, oh, you want to do things
how the marquee do it. Or sorry, or should we say Mackie? Which is it? Because everyone
else calls it the marquee. Chakote calls it the Mackie.
Oh, does he? Yeah.
Now is that the actor saying that or is he putting his own little swing on it?
I don't know, but that's the only time you hear it pronounced like that when it's Chakote
saying it. So interesting. But yeah, he just then lumps Dolby and goes, so this is how
you want to do it, do you? Okay, well I'll come and do this every day.
Yeah, I'm going to finish it out for you every day. Do you notice how out of breath he was
after that one punch? Yeah.
Like is it the adrenaline or overacting or is he that unfit? He wallops someone one time,
one punch.
Might be he's wrecked over it. He's like, oh God, I've missed this. I miss being on
my marquee ship.
Yeah, Mackie. I wish my Mackies, I missed them. Yeah, and he's massively out of breath.
And then suddenly we're back in the, not loading bay, but in one of the cargo bays. That's
the word I was thinking of. And Tuvok is just being Tuvok again. I've got to fuck the dress
code Tuvok. You're in the Delta quadrant. It's not like school uniform in the UK. I
understand school uniform being strict and I agree with it. If you've got set rules in
school, it's going to teach your child that when they go to work and work says, by the
way, we're not going to accept you coming in in a crop top, tiny mini skirt, fishnet
tights and dot Martin boots. We need you to come in smart office apparel. They're going
to accept that. They're not going to come around and go, well, I never accepted school
uniforms. Why am I going to accept this? It breeds the right train of thought. When you're
in the middle of the Delta quadrant, you're captives, you're being forced to do training.
Let them have one little thing.
Yeah. I think it's good if it does a lot of things though, because it also, it, you know,
not all full bright cause it's so he does a uniform then isn't a distraction. But also
it is a level playing field for the children that don't have, are the same as the people
that have exactly. And that's a real key aspect to it. But yeah, fuck the dress code. You're
in the Delta quadrant. He says he does say kind of a nice thing is that you've got a
very festive headband. He says to me, she's like, takes the compliment and he's like,
it's not a compliment. Basically he's like, I'm joking. Yeah. Yeah. I like to see anything
wrong with the headband. No, it's keeping her out of face. And it was star fleet colours.
Yeah. It matched. She matched it to the uniform. Yeah. They had a slightly eccentric bow ish
on it. Maybe, but really not that bad. Blue zip man. You couldn't see what he was wearing.
It was hidden. Following the meme. It was demure. Oh, demure. Yeah. Very demure. Very
mindful. So I think that she was fine. And that's the only thing you could pick out from
her. Yeah. And I don't think he should have told the Bajoran to get rid of his ear thing.
I think that's a religious symbol for the Bajorans. It is. Cause they don't care on
deep space nine. There's a, you need to watch deep space night because they do kick off
about it. And Cisco goes, no, if that's part of your really, basically I need you to be
on my side. You wear it. Yeah. He should not have made her take that off. No. Well, what
if Starfleet customs was sorry, you can't have pointy ears. Yeah. Uh, so Vulcan's, uh,
Oh, that's a, oh, I'm so sorry. I know you say you had it sorted, but that's about three
degrees of a point. It's getting his compass out. Starts checking the angle of his brain.
It gets the protractor. It's like, yeah, sorry. Hang on. I'll get the scissors. Do you want
to cut them or shall I? One of us is going to, and I can guarantee one of us will enjoy
it more than the other. We'll be going home with the correct angled ears. Yeah. It's just,
I really hated that scene because there's just, I know it's to give us the idea that
Tuvok is just still being this in malleable or unmalleable person that he's not bending.
He's not doing anything. He's just being rules, rules, rules. I just felt this was just too
much. Even I would have told him to fuck off at this point. Yeah. Hang on. Do you know
if they punched me in the bar last night? Can I just punch Tuvok because that's how
the marquee do things. So he has kind of entered it as a precedence. Well, also if he wants
to follow Starfleet rules, he should said to me, I'd like to make him complain to about
the first officer. He physically assaulted me. Can I fill out the correct forms please?
Yeah. So they didn't do that. Did they? See how we get that beer now they're in engineering
and we get to see a lovely shot. The sexy warp core. I do love the warp core shots in
Voyager. It's a nice looking one. It's Dolby and Bielana Torres gas in. Yeah. And they're
looking at the gel pack and I've got machine metal always looks good. And what they've
created is the job. It does look really good. It's such a simple design. Yeah. It's a great
prop but the basically some metal blocks, a hand sanitizer bag full of blue hair gel,
but beautifully machined valves at the top of it plugged in. It just looks nice. It looks
genuinely like something futuristic. Yeah. And of course they're chatting away and another
bio neuro circuit fails. Yep. Oh, and guess what? She sends Dolby to go and deal with
it. Yeah. Dolby, you go and deal with that. Yeah. No worries Bielana. Off he goes happily.
I've got a note here, cascade feedback. I'm not entirely sure why I wrote that. So relevant
at some point, but I didn't write any more on my note other than cascade feedback. Yeah.
There's quite a lot of good kind of Star Trek words. I think that's what it's meant to represent.
I think it's representing this is a great scene. And there's another scene later on
where they really get some good Trek talk. Yeah. Symmetric warp field, for example, we're
going to do a plasma blast. Yeah, we get some good stuff. And now one of the best parts
of the episode, we're with the doctor. Yeah. I've got kesken bugger off, but here's my
favourite cat-girder, welcome back doctor. And it's a great set that the doctor's quarters
and the whole kind of that hospitaly bit of Voyager's set is brilliant. And because we're
still on season one, so he doesn't leave. Yeah. He just stays where he is. And he, he
has a little joke. Um, what does it say? He says a joke about the patient and they're
like, Oh, what is it? I'm sorry. Oh, that's it. Yeah. He's told, he's been told he needs
to improve his, his patient manners. So he's chatting away to the gel pack. Like it's a
real person. No, cause he starts talking about the patient. He goes, no, they, they start
talking about the gel pack. And he says that you're not allowed to talk about the patient
in front of the patients, a breach of etiquette. Yes, that was it. That's the joke. And then
he says he's being told he has to cultivate a greater sensitivity to his patients. He's
talking away to the gel pack. Just stop it. Yeah. But he's just great. One thing I noticed
the bit of the bed that comes over, he didn't put the fucking gel pack wasn't under it.
No, it's at the head. It's right at the head. I was like, come on. So yeah, that's not going
to get scanned. Where's the continuity guy here to not notice the gel pack wasn't under
the fucking sensor. But maybe that's the point. Maybe it's the sensor can do the whole bed.
Cause if you think it's not over their face and it can do head scans and stuff. Yeah,
perhaps. Maybe it's more to do with the bed. Maybe it sends a thing outside. It could just
be that that's the display. Yeah. And it does the scan from underneath and that's just like
the controls for what the bed can do and show you. Yeah. But he wrote, basically he does
find the gel packs have got an STI essentially. Here's what they call dick cheese sometimes.
So Felix cheese is an STI ladies and gents. That's what we get out. One of the best scenes
in the entire show. They find out that there's an STI going around and now we're back to
Chewbacca having to train them again. And they're in a, I like the look of their gym
clothes. Yeah. It's a nice outfit. Yeah. That the outfits really nice. And I think we see
them in a moment. Um, I really, really, really like the trainers. Oh, you do see a close
up version of them later on. Yeah. We'll go not the last. You see them a few times and
I'm happy to say IMDB to the rescue. The crew members are wearing modified versions of the
Nike Air Jordan X. Oh, that's why they're recognizable. That's why they look so good.
Okay. Interesting. They kind of, they kind of black and shiny. Don't they? Black and
silver. But yeah, with black and silver and then the rubber sole is black and white lines,
which I thought just really nice. So they told they have to go on a 10 K run, but the
10 K run doesn't start until they've gone through some Jeffery's tubes and they have
to go to deck 13 via the mess hall, which is like, what 20 decks in the other direction.
So yeah, I like this though, because he says it's a 13 K run. And then in a moment when
we actually get to the 10 13 it's 10. No. So he says 13 K. No, I thought he said we're
going to 10 K run, but it's on deck 13. Oh, possibly then. Okay. No, ignore me then. But
yeah, the, the, the Jeffery's view is brilliant. He goes, yeah, you're taking the route. No,
no, we're going via the, uh, yeah. And I've got here, it reminds me of elite force. You've
playing elite force one or two, and you'll get into a Jeffery's tube or a corridor and
there'll be fire blocking the way. You need to just get across from the fire. Yeah. But
what you've got to do is you go up, down, down, up, up again. And then after five or
10 minutes of doing this, you're literally in front of the fire that you couldn't get
past earlier. And that's exactly what two block is doing here. And it felt absolutely
perfect.
And we go through the mess hall and you know what? More mugs, more mugs. There's a lovely
glass. It's like, um, I guess it's, it's, it's more like a, uh, like a tankard glass
without a handle. I think I've seen glasses like it that they are literally like proper
beer glasses with the, what's the pattern on a football? Like the hexagon kind of shapes
to it. It's one of those. So it's, I think you could just get it in a shop. It's classic
pub tankard. And it, but without a handle and yeah, lovely glass. You did miss the funny
line though. So the Bajoran's at the top of the, um, ladder and he stops and the blue
bloke's like, Oh, you can wait here as long as you want because he's dripping. And then
the Bajoran's word or is it the blue guys? One of them goes, maybe he'll slip and plunge
to his death.
The blue one said the blue guys, he has zip man, which is brilliant. Two boxes. Why have
you stopped? Get on going. Maybe he'll slip and plunge to his death.
I did like that. I did like that. Uh, and then they, they do their run and then they
find out now this, I found this annoying because he says that he's increased the gravity by
10%.
And someone just walks fucking past, really jointly walks past like there's not 10% extra
gravity.
It's such a dick move. It's like, hang on. So everybody on that deck is having to work
harder because of YouTube. Can you imagine if people are sleeping on that deck, they're
in bed, they're asleep and suddenly gravity gets 10% heavier. Your chest is going to be
like, Oh God, am I having a heart attack? Why have I got crushing pain?
But the other problem was he said he'd cleared that deck. Yes. Yeah. There's people. Why
is that person walking around deck 19? And there's a couple because yeah, then he tells
the other two, we left you at least three times. You've got to complete your run and
then more people walk past. Yeah. And then he walks away and doesn't even watch them
do it. No. So they probably wouldn't have done it. Cause I wouldn't have. Hell no. Yeah.
Now we get to see Mr. Kim because we're now at transporter bay, teleporter bay, whatever
the fucking name is called. And we get to hear the first utterance of the word schblick.
Yeah. Which I don't really know what it is meant to be, but it's just a weird food group.
A thing that that Neil explains.
But that's what he cultivates the cheese from, isn't it? He says he cultivates when he later,
when we see him, he's saying, Oh, I cultivate the cheese through the schblick that we got.
It's also, I think the first time we see a micro resonator. Yeah. Yeah. I think it's
a lovely little device. I'm guessing all that would have been, I reckon that was a stud
finder. Yeah, probably. And it's like, Oh, no stud. He's using it. Stud. And that's what
caused it to go up and down because I reckon that would be the easiest way to do something
like that. Yeah. But again, why is two folk being such a dick about that? I don't know
why he's going to do it with a micro resonator. That's going to take you 26.3 hours. I didn't
get the point. What's the lesson? There isn't one. Yeah. When there's kit available that
does it in one go in five minutes. Why would you not do that? Because that's accustomed
to a drill sergeant making you clean the bathrooms with your toothbrush. Absolutely. Isn't it?
And is that what two folks going for drill sergeant vibes? Because that's not how it
should be. If you're going to teach someone and say, sometimes you need to do things with
a micro resonator because this tool might not be available. What you do is you set them
up and you go back an hour later and go, how are you doing? Yeah. You've done a really
good job on that. Right. You can do it with the big boys toy now. Yeah. You don't say,
Oh yeah, we'll see you in 26.3 hours and make you do it. You've been de-gousing for the
last 10 hours. You can now use the big machine. Yeah. Just fucking dumb. And then they go
and do a war game in the holodeck, don't they? Yep. Which I was assuming was going to be
the Kobayashi Maru. But it's two box version of Kobayashi Maru. Yeah. And it's such an
asshole training move to do. Okay. These are, we're led to believe junior cadets at this
point. They've literally come into the academy. So what does Chivok do? He programs a declaration
of war. Yeah. Because there's no mention that they're in the neutral zone. They're apparently
in federation space. They're going to go and aid a Ferengi and two Romulans decloak and
start shooting at them. Yeah. That's a declaration of war. That's not exactly the first training
exercise you should give someone who you've said is not up to speed with staff fleet requirements.
Yeah, exactly. Exactly. Yeah. And obviously they fail it. They just damaged Ferengi ship,
isn't it? And then two Romulan warbirds appear and then they get blown to sky. And he's like,
you're supposed to retreat. Yeah. And yeah, to be fair, all of them are a bit over the
top with, oh, you at least we went out guns blazing. Yeah. But I think we all know that
you're not just the only four on this ship. That's the most people would have considered,
I think, no matter where you're from, what about the other crew on this ship? Yeah, that's
the lesson. Not, I don't think the lesson is that you should run away. I think the lesson
is you should run away because you're not the only people on this ship. And then that
will match with what Tuvok's point is why he can't just go and change those bags because
they affect other systems that other people are using. So yes, the right thing is to do
to fix those bags, but the regulations there in place because we need to make sure what
that does doesn't affect other systems, which other people need or are using. And that's
the lesson, but he's not teaching that fucking. You pulled that gel back out. What happened
if that had been the one that was tied to life support? Exactly. That's the real lesson.
And he doesn't teach that lesson here. He's teaching them that sometimes you have to run
away. That's what he's, but he's saying that I'm teaching you that sometimes you have to
run away. No, what I've just said, that's the lesson. And that's what he should have
been saying to Dolby. Can you see my point that, all right, this is a massively exaggerated
version of you pulling a gel back out, but there's more people on this ship than you.
And that's what Starfleet's about. We're all one team working together.
I think that their training exercises need to start with the view screen and it just
shows them what's on board. So welcome to training today on your ship. You have 1000
crew members, 200 families, and you also rescued 400 really fluffy, happy animals from Andromeda
beta three. Yeah. Doing a tie clone that was going on. That's your crew compliment. That's
what you've got to think about. Let's go. Yeah. Yeah. Like I think Starfleet needs to
allow a bit more of a termination between everything, but at the same time, it does
make sense for certain things. I still think Dolby should have been allowed to change that
gel pack, but anyway. No, no, I agree. I think don't lay into them. Just say, can you remember
notify someone before you do it? So when the sensors suddenly go off because something's
wrong, we don't think, oh my God, it's the end of the world. That's all it needed. Yeah.
Just please give us a heads up next time and you'd be fine. Yeah. But no. And now, yeah,
now we get that moment with Nelix. So he's sat there brooding. Yeah. And I'd say Nelix
is a better character than Tuvok in this episode. And I hate saying that because I hate Nelix.
You know, I hate him and Nelix makes a, you know, it shows that he's actually quite observant
because he's like, I know, like he's got to see upset and he was on the opposite fucking
Vulcan. And then he's like, no, you've got no tea. You've got no data pad and you're
sitting on the opposite side of this thing. So it gives you the idea that Nelix really
is actually a really good welfare officer basically, because he's paid attention to
everyone that comes in. He calls himself a morale officer. Morale officer. I look at
this flower. It's impossible to break. Thanks to the miracles of plastic. Yeah. I like his
way he pats, he goes like this onto Tuvok's arm. Yeah. It was like, oh Tuvok will not
like that. No. Yeah. Then he goes and shows him these plants and he's like bending a plant
thing. And I was thinking it's clearly plastic, but the same time, like you're not bending
that very much. No, but at the same time, it's actually a great analogy for how Tuvok's
being. And I know it's such a simple set up, but it works quite nicely. Yeah. And I like
the fact that Tuvok's like, so what you're saying is the recruiter on flexible side.
No, Mr. Vulcan. Yeah. Talking about you, you dick. Yeah. That was a good little touch.
That was really nice touch. And then obviously he pulls out the cheese. Pulls out the cheese
and they're doing something with the camera, like a filter on that cheese. Cause it looks
like it's glowing. And you can see they're doing something. Cause when it kind of gets
put behind the flowers, it makes the whole scene goes a bit funny. Like there's some
kind of... I wonder if it's Vaseline on the lens or... Yeah. Maybe they've got a filter
on the lens because that shot just looks a bit odd graphically. And yeah. And then that's
when... And then of course the man who can't understand, maybe I need to add a little bit
of flexibility immediately comes to two plus two is 12 and comes to the conclusion that,
oh, well it's bacteria from the cheese that's caused everything. And wham bam. We've then
got everyone in Neelix's kitchen and my God, the slow pan to the air conditioner. Yeah.
That looks up to the air conditioner. Oh, the bloody air con of course. Spreader of
colds, moldy air and Neelix cheese. Yeah. So they've got the cheese in like a quarantine
container, which is quite funny. A portable something filled, but yeah, basically they've
put it in a security field on its own. And then he's got some Lorellian pudding simmering.
Now he doesn't know what simmering is because that's fucking boiling. Hey, that's boiling.
And again, I've got exactly what you've got here. I've got the amount of fire they allow
Neelix to have on a ship stranded years from home, but he's allowed fire. Yeah. Obviously
they don't have a shortage of, of like gas and propane and stuff. Yeah. But okay. It's
a change in Starfleet technology. Yeah. So there's a TNG episode that they go to a planet
and they rescue a load of colonists and all these colonists are basically like 1950s or
1940s Irish people. It's an awful episode. It's terrible. And they put them all in a
cargo hold and the fire alarms go off and they go down there and the lead Irish man's
basically saying, what the hell's going on here? We start a fire to cook some dinner
and bolts of lightning come out of the ceiling and put out our fire. And Riker said, yeah,
that's the fire control system on the enterprise. Does Voyager have that then or have they just
disabled it? Yeah, exactly. I just feel like because day one when Neelix basically steals
Jane Way's private office, he just starts a fire in there and no one bats an eyelid.
Yeah. And then we've got, Torres says, like, it's not your fault to need some, no, it fucking
is. It is your fault. It's not your fault Neelix while she's mouthing to someone else.
It's his fucking fault. Because it is his fucking fault. Who's the, who was, what's
the problem? The cheese is giving STIs to all the bio stuff. Okay. Who made the cheese?
Neelix. Right. There we go. Fault found. Did Neelix ask anyone the safe ways of breed bacteria
on a ship? No. Yeah. Is Neelix giving, sorry, is Toothfuck giving Neelix a load of shit
for not following Starfleet regulations? Oh, they're besties. I don't think he fucking
is. Is he? No. Anyway. So yeah, obviously then we end up in this horribly painful scene
of Toothfuck and Dalby in the bar. Yeah. Fucking, again, new, looks like a stingy New York dive
bar. I wonder if that's the bar scene that they use for the TNG episode. Yeah. I think
it's the same one, just a different angle. And why Paul and not poker? You know. Well,
poker, yeah, exactly. I feel like they could have done, they could have had all of the
characters. They could have, he could have sat down and said, right, we're going to play
a game of poker. But really this scene was all about him talking about the Bajoran kid.
Well, yeah. But I like the fact that yeah, Dolby has this backstory and he just, he's
got a horrible backstory. He runs this backstory and I just, I really wanted Toothfuck to say,
yeah, well I have a backstory too. I once killed a man with my bare hands while staring
into his eyes screaming. Just to kind of add to it because it's horribly brutal what Dolby's
going on about. It's like, yeah, I was a bad boy. I've got a backstory. It really hurts
when I bend over to the right hand side. No, that joke alert. Dolby has a real heart wrenching
story. He joined the marquee because he fell in love with a girl, a Bajoran, who was eventually
raped by three Kardashians and then had her skull crushed in by them. So he joined the
marquee so he could kill as many Kardashians as he could. Fucking, yeah, so would I.
Absolutely.
Exactly. I call him the Kardashians again.
And guess what? Toothfuck, I've got my eye on your skull.
Yeah, yeah, lucky Toothfuck, they weren't Vulcans. Yeah. And he has got, yeah, that
alone was enough reason for you to go, I understand everything about this dude.
100%. So yeah, that scene doesn't last long, funnily enough. And then we've got, oh, of
course, Kes has the answer. I hate her. Her and Neelix are such awful characters in Voyager.
I love the fact that she just turns into a little puff of light and fucks off one day.
I'm looking forward to that day because, sorry, she's there. She's what? Two years old at
this point. Yeah. Let's not get into the whole paedophilic side of this horrible kind of
scene. She's still a humanoid life form who is reading books, but apparently she can outthink
the fucking Voyager computer, which is what the doctor is. The doctor is not a sentient
being. He is the fucking computer working out equations and answers, but Kes can beat
him to an answer. Yeah. Well, he says it's the most pernicious
infective agent he's ever seen. And basically there's a virus inside the bacteria of the
cheese. Yeah, she's, didn't I read somewhere once
the bacteria can host a virus? My God, Kes, you're right.
Yeah. That would work as a scene if the doctor wasn't a computer.
If the doctor was Beverly Crusher. Yeah, exactly. Not the fucking computer.
The computer. That knows everything about bacteria and
viruses known to the human race at the point that Voyager left.
Which is the literature Kes has been reading. Yeah, which really is the whole problem with
all of the plot points for the doctor. Yes.
Not instantly knowing the answer to everything. 100%. Unless they kind of degraded his program
on purpose to make him more human like. It's like, no one likes a smart ass. Yeah, just
take away his ability to diagnose something and make it like 48 hours for a diagnosis,
will you? Yeah, I can program that. There you go. Right. Now you've got a slow doctor.
Because of course that's what the federation want. They don't want just a doctor and go,
hello, what's wrong with you today? But yeah, that's what you've got. You've got space
aids. Seconds and it's done. But no, we don't get that, do we?
Yeah, that's what she said. No, we've programmed them. So it's like, I need
two days to work out what's wrong with you. It's a broken neck, doctor. No, two days.
My leg is at the wrong angle. It's broken. No, two days.
Was that Wharf episode, wasn't it? Where you get his back broken with a suicide one. And
then the next episode he's walking around fine. And then we worked it out. Didn't we?
In star dates. It hadn't been even a year to happen.
It was fairly a time at all when he was slightly fine.
Yeah, so I don't have to say it's going to be months of rigorous.
It was like a few days. Yeah, it was something like two and a half
days by star dates. Excuse me. Yeah. Well anyway, they find out
the way to get rid of any good STIs. You just make it hot.
No, we're not there yet. Are we?
No. So he's still trying to work it out. So then we've got them in the cargo bay again.
We finally see Tuvok below the waist. We see that Tuvok is packing. And they're in the
cargo bay ready to do the next thing. And that's when shit starts going wrong again.
And we're up on the bridge and we find out that life support's been compromised. The
gravitational plates on another deck 15, I think have failed. So people are obviously
floating around on that deck at that point. Yeah, I didn't think of that. Yeah.
They're just floating around. Everything's really bad on that deck. So that's all going
on. And then yes, the doctor and Kes work out that, hmm, well, the gel packs can't do
what a human body does, which is fever. So we need to get it hot. So then these four
have lost their communication ability. So they don't know what's going on and shit's
just exploding around them. So what does Tuvok do? Youngest one. Yeah, climb that ladder
on your own. There's no one holding the ladder or supporting below just in case you fall
off. And I know explosions are going on around you, but I'm sure it will be fine. You go
up there and see if that computer's working. It's an interesting thing because obviously
this was filmed before, but you can't have a sky engineer go up a ladder without him
drilling it into the fucking wall and putting on full mountain climbing gear to go up a
ladder, right? How on earth there's Starfleet regulations, let him go up that ladder. Whoa,
shit's going wrong. Sheer vertical firstly, no hand guards or anything kind of guard.
But you can even see Dolby's blowing me. He's like, okay, he's going, Oh, I've been called
over. Oh, okay. I'll run over here now. He didn't want to leave him going up on that
ladder on his own. No buddy system on that ladder. And let's face it, that was on the
studio set. That was at least a one story climb on the studio set as well. So that's
another failure of Starfleet. Another one. Yep. And then we're back to the bridge and
it's like, Oh, Trek talk arousing symmetric warp fields, plasma blasts. And yeah, we get
all that crap and plan is like, it's still not hot enough. It's still not hot enough,
captain. So Mr. Paris, basically you've got permission to redline the engine, put your
foot down, really give it a good rev. Yeah. And yeah, everyone gets really hot. Everyone
gets really hot. Live support has obviously failed at this point. Yep. And I'm sorry,
I am going to bring this up here. These ships really do kill you quick when life support
fails. What happened? Because back in the era of Apollo 13, the failure who ended up
going around the moon and coming back and having to spend a large portion of that time
in the lunar lander, because that's the only place that they had that would be safe enough
to possibly survive. They survived for a lot longer. Voyager, 10 minutes of time without
life support. And they're all nearly unconscious on the bridge, fast asleep and dying. Yeah,
I know. This room, if you sealed off this room, we'd still have a few hours in here
before carbon monoxide poisoning was going to start causing us a problem. Yeah. But not
on these ships. No, it's really bad. It's interesting, isn't it? How they all just don't
instantly want to just die. It's life anti supportive life support fails. We've got a
problem because the ship does try to kill you. It does. So they set, it just turns on
the fans and sucks everything out. Yeah, exactly. Life gets sucked out the ship. But they had
a lot of good Trek talk though, leading up to the plasma burst stuff. There's a real
good section of Trek talk. Everyone's getting hot. Garron gets knocked out. Garron Garrett,
I can't remember his name. He gets knocked out. Dolby tries to rescue him. Tuvok kicks
him out and puts him in an arm lock and says, I will break your arm if you continue with
this for the greater good for the needs of the many, outrade the needs of the few, which
is the whole Spock thing from Wrath of Khan. Throws them in and then closes it behind them
without getting him himself. What a surprise. The joke of this whole scene is he spent so
long arguing with Dolby. They could have all just gone and got him. They could have just
gone and got him safely. All of them together gone and got him and been fine. And proven
that teamwork is beneficial. Instead Tuvok martyrs himself nearly dies doing it. And
it doesn't actually even save him because they both collapse. He fails miserably because
he's wasted so much time. All he does is get him down the ladder. And then the other three
do good teamwork, saves him and I've got, oh God, such a fucking flip flop. It feels
more like Dolby suddenly now going to say, Tuvok, I'd be honored if you'll be the godparent
to any of my future children. It's fucking awful. Yeah, it's not warranted. It would
have been purely, I've got mutual respect for you. Thank you for going back for him.
You know how I feel towards that character. I still don't like you, but I understand why
you're doing what you're doing now. And I agree that maybe there's a benefit to working
to Starfleet, but instead it's full on happy days finish of everyone's happy. Let's go
to the pub together. They should have done it. If they're doing it with Tuvok doing that,
he should have actually saved him. He should have actually have got him out or at least
to the door and then been trying to open the door and then they get the door open and pull
him out. 100%. Because then you could have a scene where they're thanking Tuvok going,
thank you so much. I didn't think, and then have him say, well, I understand now that
being inflexible isn't going to benefit. And then they can say, well, we understand being
inflexible actually can benefit as well. And then you can have that bit then or even not
even have that, just have them thanking him and then have a really quick ending bit with
him reporting back to Janeway. And she said, well, do you think they're going to make it?
So I think we've got a better chance or something like that.
Yeah. I mean, they didn't even do any kind of trick bullshit by saying, oh yeah, well,
I did it because Vulcans actually don't need to take as much oxygen as humans or we've
got a better tolerance to this chemical. So rather than explain that to you, it kicked
you out. And then I got him and I knew I would survive.
No, because they screw that up by saying the need of the few outweigh the need of the many
outweigh the need of the few. So him saying that one line means he should have gotten
with them. Yeah. He shouldn't have gone back then to go and rescue him. We didn't even
get the idea of him starting to go through it because they could have even done it. He
starts to enter it and then second guesses himself and then goes back. Instead he threat,
I'm going to break your arm, get in there and closes it straight behind him. So he already
knew what he was going to do, but gives that shit speech about the needs of the many and
the needs of the few. It doesn't work. Yeah. And then I say it goes to sickening flip flop,
how much they all are really chummy and friendly and love him all of a sudden. No, it just
wouldn't be the case. There would be mutual respect barely. And thank you. We might not
like you, but this meant something. Yeah. There wouldn't be, Oh, brilliant. Come on.
No, it was a bad ending. Transfer complete. Right. So yeah, I think, I think it's a good
episode. I did enjoy it. The, the thing that makes the, it not a brilliant episode is Tuvok
and he is the sole reason his, the way his character is. And also his character brings
in every single plot hole or problem with the episode. It's all centered around him.
I would never thought I'd say it, but it needed more neelix and neelix cheese. I really was
hoping that it was going to be more like a zany mental episode. That's why I think we
both forgot about neelix cheese. Yeah. Because lower decks brings it up. Like it's this huge
kind of storyline to that episode. It isn't, it's actually the sub storyline. It would
have been a better main storyline and the sub storyline being the training and having
someone like B'lana having to train them because she's been promoted to an actual star fleet
rank. She should have been left in charge and the sub story should have been her trying
to persuade them. She could have slapped them about saying, because that's more like her,
that's more like that angry Klingon blood that she has. So she should have been the
one slapping them and go, Oh, you want to be like the marquee then I'm going to treat
you like the marquee. How do you like it? Now you can see how federation treats you
and she could have been doing it. And then the neelix cheese could have been so much
more. I would have had them in two separate episodes. I would have had that as its own
episode and the neelix cheese being a holodeck mishap episode being maybe those kids go mental
or just stuff like that. You know, the cheese, the bacteria of the cheese, or maybe it's
a sentient virus that is trying to communicate them through the holodeck. I really, he's
created a new life for the cheese. It would be really fun. But yeah, they just, they didn't
do enough with it. And I guess I don't remember that episode at all. No, I do not remember
it at all. And lower decks, when all the cheese is coming out of the control panels, it just
made me think, did that, is that what actually happened in that episode? And then you realise
actually watching the episode, Oh, lower decks really, really ran with it, didn't they? Because
none of that happened. Yeah. Yeah. Which is a shame. Yeah, it is a shame. Yeah. It doesn't
deter from that episode because I love deter from that episode. Even I love that lower
decks episode. But dear God, this one is, it could have been so much more as much as
I enjoyed it. It could have been way better. Certainly not my favourite one of Voyager
and certainly not the favourite episode we've done so far on doing these weird reviews,
whatever it is that we do with them, but not the worst. Oh, hell no. In fact, I'd say actually,
it made me want to watch Voyager a bit more, but the first few episodes of Voyager that
I went back and started watching again, yawning, boring. I really found them hard to get into
this one actually. I didn't mind. So I'll see what season two offers really. Yeah. So I'm
thinking pretty good. Shame to Vox was so shit. Yeah. Pretty good. They could have done
it in a completely different way though and had an outstanding episode. Yeah. Who would
have thought more Nelix would have made it outstanding. Oh, geez. You should have said,
geez. You missed a trick there. He could have gone, oh, geez. No. So next episode, I'd really
like to do questions or just something rather than an episode. Yeah. We'll do a questions
episode if we get any questions. We haven't got anyone set up with the Trek roulette sadly,
because that would have been quite a good one to do as well. Yeah. And I'll start with
it. It's just because the things going on in my life for the next two weeks, pretty
much. Absolutely. I won't have time to do an edit like that. And also I can't really
squeeze in. No, that's fine. Trying to watch the show and other bits. Okay. Leave it with
me. You get some questions. I will organise the other half of the episode. Okay. I might
regret saying that. You might do. Yeah. Leave it with me. Okay. Command functions are offline.
You still haven't learnt it, have you? Of course I haven't learnt it TJ. Of course I
haven't. Okay. Deep breath ladies and gents. The Untitled Trek Show is part of the Studio
Channel 84 indie podcast support network. Studio Channel 84 has four podcasts associated
to it. That is the Untitled Trek Show, Lightly Used, Who Takes the Socks Off and the Variety
Show. You can find out more about all of those podcasts on channel84.co.uk. If you head over
to channel84.co.uk you can find the Untitled Trek Show and on our pages you'll find out
more about the USS Shit Show, more about the show itself and you'll find all our social
media links that includes TikTok, threads, X or Twitter, whatever you want to call it,
Facebook, all of those sorts of things. If you would like to email Rob, you can email
rob at channel84.co.uk. If you'd like to email me it's tj at channel84.co.uk or if you'd
like to email both of us at exactly the same time you can email podcasts, that's plural,
so podcasts at channel84.co.uk. Wicked. Thank you to everybody that helped with the shit
show. The last USS Shit Show was phenomenal. It really was fucking amazing. So if you haven't
listened to the last episode yet and you're only joining us now, go and listen to the
last episode because it's a fantastic ending to an ongoing story arc. Yes, it would be
good if you listened to all of them at the beginning, but even if you just go back to
listen to the last episode, you won't regret it. It's brilliant. Well, you've only got
the compilation, which is the first one to five plus the little ones. Yes. That's about
an hour long. And then the episode called the one that went wrong. The one that I fucked
up the edit on or the files. That's episode six of the shit show and episode seven is
last last episodes. So there's only two outside the compilation. Which is interesting that
episode six, as you said, it's the fuck up episode. It actually helped tie in a lot with
how we had this story. I think I might have said at the time it expedited a lot of the
story, which was good because it was that episode that afterwards we started talking
about what we were going to do for Oh, Christmas episode. So we thank Simon for taking over
the role of the captain for us some from who takes socks off. Obviously Karen and Adam,
as always, they do great work. Like carries on those Adams and absolutely loads of stuff.
And he's really good. He's really, really good. Karen as well. I had big props to Adam.
They're all phenomenal, but I've got to say really big props to Stiddy. Stiddy was standout
for the whole thing. Everyone that's that's messaged so far has all gone, yeah, we like
Stiddy. So he was going to have to, I think Stiddy might want to do more, maybe we'll
get Stiddy back at some point. I do hope so because he was asking about microphones and
whatnot. So I think we've hooked him. Yeah. And it was really good because he won't be
saying it. Stiddy's like that in real life. So it wasn't a far shot from what he's like
in real life. I think the character was made for him specifically. Well, I mean, I wrote
it so it was. And who else isn't it? Challenging Chipmunk? The challenging Chipmunk did, yes.
People who know Jem's voice won't recognise it because I manipulated it because of her
choice. Basically, the reason she's the Chipmunk on the variety show is because Jem doesn't
like hearing her voice back record. I don't, but we do a whole podcast and we can't exactly
change my voice for the entirety of it. But for the bits and pieces that Jem does for
us, we alter. So for the variety show, we just play about with the tone and the pitch.
And for this, we did a little bit extra, which sounds amazing to be fair. It was really good.
Yeah. And yeah, so thank you very much, Jem. And thank you, Valentino, Valencia, whatever
you want to be called at any particular day. As always, love you. Thank you to you.
Thank you very much. Thank you to you. Thank you to me. Yeah, that's enough of that.
Thank you everyone for all the help.
You were so close, so fucking close. But of course, right at the end, you had to fuck it
up. And here I am again, stepping into cover for you two twats. Flower from the A-Pint of
Cthulhu podcast. Thank you. Thank you so much for playing the voice of the anomaly. You went
above and beyond with all your recordings and the boys are incredibly grateful. Now then,
I'm off. I've got to get my vocal trainer on the line. I've got a lot of work coming up.
Peace out, dickheads. And hopefully, if all goes well, the Christmas one will have even more
people. Oh, it's going to. It's going to. There'll be a lot of AI. I've built a few
favours which I might start calling in. Yeah, let's hope so. Love you, everybody. Thank you.
Love you too. Bye-bye.
Thank you for listening to the Untitled Trek Show. This station is now shutting down and
will be back in two weeks. May the Force live long and prosper inside of you.
This was a Studio Channel 84 network show. To find more, head over to channel84.co.uk now.