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Data pad load complete.

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Identity check confirmed. Beginning message playback.

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With the ongoing ramifications of the recent events aboard the USS Shitshow,

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plans have had to be brought forward outside of our current predicted models.

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Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to awaken agents Tom and Rob

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from deep psychoactive sleep. Bring them up to speed with the current mission brief.

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Apprehend the anomaly and bring it to the rendezvous location at coordinates 2, 3.1, 7.4, 6.11.

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If you or any other members of your SI team are caught or killed,

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Starfleet will disavow any knowledge of your actions.

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Good luck Agent Court. This data pad will self-destruct in five seconds.

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Here we go again.

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If it's not multi-dimensional squids and alternate timeline kidnappings,

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it's warp-course smoke monsters and useless agents.

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Tom, can you and Rob meet me in cargo bay 19?

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I've got something I need to speak to you about.

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Yeah sure, see you in a bit.

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Right, where's that hypospray?

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Ah, gross!

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What the fuck mate, what's in that bo- it's st- what's in that bottle, it stinks!

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Sausages.

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What do you mean sausages? Is this sausage water? Have you sprayed us with sausage water?

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Sausages.

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Where did you get sausage water from? The replicator.

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Sausages.

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Oh, I get it, is this a game? Uh, okay, uh, bacon.

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Oh, my turn, um, gammon.

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Nice.

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Sausages.

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No, you've said that already.

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Sausages, damn you!

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I don't think he knows the rules.

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Oh, I don't think he does either.

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Why isn't it working? Instructions were easy enough, spray them with the activation silica, declare them awakening word, it should work.

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You're going to need to speak up.

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Yeah, it's rude to whisper.

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You're both seriously telling me you don't remember anything.

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You're gonna have to be way more specific than that.

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Starfleet Intelligence mean anything to you. V, Commander Rho Loran. Bangs ringing any bells?

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Oh, I know what bell is.

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Yeah, Rob has plenty of the Starfleet, but not much of the Intelligence, if you know what I mean.

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We know what it is, but we've no idea who they are. I'm failing to see what this has to do with us.

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Just another daily office.

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Right, to put this bluntly, you two aren't who you think you are.

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Aren't we?

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No, you aren't.

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Oh, not a changing, am I? Oh, shit, oh shit, oh shit. Tom, Tom, I'm a fucking changing, I'm a fucking changing.

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Uh, don't tell the Captain, he's gonna have me killed. Tom, Tom, Tom, you've got to hide me, hide me, hide me.

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Shit, shit, shit. Okay, look, um, let's get you to my courses, there we can grab my go-bag.

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You got a go-bag?

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Yeah, zombies.

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Ah, of course.

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Shut up, you idiots. Rob, you're not a changeling.

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Oh, thank God.

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Shit, then I must be the changing.

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Ah!

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No one's a changeling!

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Oh, phew. Shouldn't go around telling people they're changelings, Adam.

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Yeah, seriously, that's, that's not cool. Especially when we're on our way to our interview.

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Fuck the interviews, this is important.

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It mightn't be important to you, Mr. Everyone's Favourite Ensign, but I'm fed up with clearing up spunk from Deck 19.

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Me too. I'm just, loads of upper deck promotions have opened up after last month's multi-dimensional disturbances.

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You mean deaths?

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Mmm, yeah, I was just trying to be polite.

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Ah, no, sorry, of course, of course, no, no, sorry for interrupting.

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That's not a problem, mate. Thank you for trying to correct me, though. It's good that we have this kind of relationship.

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Anytime, anytime, you know, we only have each other after all.

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Bloody hell, you two are annoying.

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Moody.

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Yes, I'm moody. You've got no idea what's going on, do you? You two are supposed to be helping me.

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Bot.

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Bloody vacuum bots, why are there so many of them? They're all over the damn place. You can't move for the fucking things.

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This is what we're saying. The ship has lost so many crew members that they've had to resort to the cleaning bots to cover positions of all the lower deck ensigns that have been promoted.

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Exactly, and we want in on some of that sweet, sweet upper decks bunk space.

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Guys, seriously, I need to speak to you about the anomaly.

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Not you as well.

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Rob's already said sorry. Don't you start on him as well.

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I'm not. I mean, I need you guys to help.

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Ensign Cort, you are requested urgently on the bridge to assist docking procedures to Deep Space Nine. Please attend your station immediately.

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I haven't got time for this.

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Off you go then, favorite boy.

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Look, meet me back here after your interviews.

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Yeah, no problem.

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We aren't really meeting him back here, are we?

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Fuck no.

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Oh, sorry little guy, I'll get out of your way.

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God, those things are so cute.

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You see, Ensign Sox has been putting googly eyes on them.

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That was him, that's hilarious.

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Get the fuck out of my way. Go on, fuck off.

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Please sir, just calm down.

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What the hell?

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Calm down.

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Don't fucking tell me to fucking calm down.

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You jumped up, triple-rimming, ponty fucking Starfleet cunt.

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Sir, seriously, there is no need for this. I'm sure this is just a big misunderstanding.

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The only misunderstanding here, Captain Cunt, is you're trying to park that piece of shit, Starfleet nonspebil, in my bay.

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Sir, we have special permission from Admiral Chesters and Captain Sisko to dock in this bay.

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Oh, fuck Captain Sisko. Fuck Admiral Chesters and fuck you.

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Computer, mute communication.

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Affirmative.

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Don't you fuck.

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You requested my presence, Captain.

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Ah, Ensign Cawt, yes. Take over comms. We are still awaiting a replacement for Lieutenant Lujans and this wanker's doing my head in.

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Of course sir.

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Computer, unmute communications.

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Affirmative.

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You arrived dry-hunted, bog spit-roasted, majoram-fondling, Ferengi dressing, non-vainozoid-eating cum-duzzler.

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You press that fucking mute button again, I'll come over to that tit-can, you call the fucking shit, and smack you to death with a wedding.

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And for good measure, I'll get my last bottle of Chateau Picard 2386 and shove it right up your shit-shoe.

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Bloody hell.

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Who the fuck are you? Where's your noncy captain?

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Captain Telfer has requested I take over any further communications with you.

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Oh, of course he has. Pussy, my bad, Captain Pussy.

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Quite. Now, I can see from your docking request's transit data you've come quite a long way. Before Nebula, if I'm correct.

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What gives it away? All the fucking scratches on my hull? That's not gonna take it out, mate.

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More of a space-whaley jaculet seeping from your arse torpedo launcher bay.

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Yeah, those balls have been hanging around for a while now. Pony bastards won't leave. Did you know one's slightly bigger than the other?

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Yeah, we're familiar with Paul and Edie. Never mind.

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Back to the matter in hand, I can see you're requesting access to docking in sector Charlie, quadrant 17, Alpha 3. Isn't that correct?

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Oh, for fuck's sake, you know it is, you knobjockey.

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Well, I'm sorry to be the one to inform you, but the USS Shit-Cho's now been assigned that bay. As you can see here on our DS9 docking permit certificate.

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I don't give a fuck what that certificate says. This is my spot. It's always been my spot.

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It was my spot last time, and it was my spot the time before that. So now I've moved that piece of shit tugboat you call a spaceship, get the fuck out of my way.

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Why don't you go and fuck first contact up in some distant star system? Or better still, roll out that certificate and shut up your fucking arse.

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Okay, I've had enough of this.

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Oh, cry me a river. The little bitch boy's had enough. Whatcha gonna do about it?

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Good question. I can't afford the choices.

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Erm, Ensign, what are you doing?

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I've had enough of this pussy-footin' around.

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Armed.

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Weapon systems controls transferred to comm station. Command override Archimedes. Code 101001 Omega.

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Fuck ye dickface. I've had enough of this ballbag.

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Weapon systems online.

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Ensign?

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Woah, weapon systems online. Have your balls distraught.

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Captain, they've activated their weapon systems.

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Raise shields. Go to red alert. Ensign Corp, what the bloody hell are you doing?

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Lieutenant Wolfe, get back control of the weapon system. Adam, stand down.

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Fuck this ship. Fuck this assignment. And fuck your parking spot.

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Ha ha ha. That's the spirit.

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Security to the bridge.

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Firing photon torpedoes. Full spread.

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Ha ha ha. Yes. Yes. This is what it's all about. This is living. Ha ha. You win. Ha ha ha. You win.

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Wait. What in the actual fucks?

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That was a direct hit. How has his ship not been blown into a million pieces?

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Holograms, Captain.

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Weapon systems returned to tactical station.

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Holograms? You didn't think to tell me? Well I needed you to sound authentic, Captain.

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Get the fuck off my bridge.

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Sir? Ha ha ha. We can be friends. Ha ha ha. The bay is yours. Ha ha ha. I love that guy. Ha ha ha.

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Let me in.

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Let me in.

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Let me in.

154
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Huh? What?

155
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Let me in.

156
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Is it that?

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I got a gun.

158
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Let me in. Huh? What? Let me in. He said that. I can help you. I can make you strong. Strong?

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You want to be strong, don't you? Who's there?

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I can help you. I can give you everything you want.

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Is this a dream?

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Yes. Yes. Just let me in. And I can give you everything you ever wanted.

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Everything I've ever wanted? Even the promotion?

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Of course.

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But what about my friends? I can't leave the lower decks without them. We've always said together or not at all.

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Your friends don't care about you.

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Now I know this is a dream. My friends love me. I'm like super cute and stuff.

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They hate you, oh. Adam despises you. He thinks you are lazy.

169
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Yeah, I can be a bit lazy.

170
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Simon thinks you are a joke.

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Still, I'm far off. It's all about perspective, I guess.

172
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Tom said you were dumb and not funny.

173
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What the fuck? I'm well funny.

174
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Yes. See? He told me so. He goes around all the time saying not funny about the wanker.

175
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Wanker?

176
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Not funny about the wanker of Wanktown. Biggest wanker. Whoever wanted a wank.

177
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You know, that does sound like something he'd say.

178
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He said you're not funny enough for the promotion. You weren't worthy of it.

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You bastard.

180
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Let me help you.

181
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How?

182
00:14:26,000 --> 00:14:30,000
Let me in.

183
00:14:30,000 --> 00:14:34,000
Are you in? What? Like a door?

184
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You could say that.

185
00:14:37,000 --> 00:14:39,000
Computer, open the door.

186
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Affirmative.

187
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Where are you?

188
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Idiot.

189
00:14:47,000 --> 00:14:48,000
That's not nice.

190
00:14:48,000 --> 00:14:50,000
Knock. Knock.

191
00:14:50,000 --> 00:14:51,000
Who's there?

192
00:14:51,000 --> 00:14:52,000
Lettuce.

193
00:14:52,000 --> 00:14:53,000
Lettuce who?

194
00:14:53,000 --> 00:14:55,000
Lettuce him.

195
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And I'm meant to be the dumb one.

196
00:15:10,000 --> 00:15:19,000
Tom, sorry to wake you. Can you meet me in Hangar Bay 3? I need to talk to you.

197
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I'm going to go.

198
00:15:28,000 --> 00:15:29,000
Ahoy hoy.

199
00:15:29,000 --> 00:15:30,000
Hello.

200
00:15:30,000 --> 00:15:31,000
How's it going?

201
00:15:31,000 --> 00:15:32,000
Yeah, not bad mate, how are you?

202
00:15:32,000 --> 00:15:35,000
Good, well, good. Alright, I suppose. Still coughing.

203
00:15:35,000 --> 00:15:40,000
I'm going to say, even though I've not heard it yet, that was an amazing USS Shit Show.

204
00:15:40,000 --> 00:15:43,000
Yeah, thanks mate.

205
00:15:43,000 --> 00:15:46,000
I know it's going to be good. I've seen the edit work you've done on it so far.

206
00:15:46,000 --> 00:15:47,000
It's not finished yet.

207
00:15:47,000 --> 00:15:48,000
It's going to have been beautiful.

208
00:15:48,000 --> 00:15:51,000
It's a four scene masterpiece.

209
00:15:51,000 --> 00:15:58,000
It's going to be, everyone that's just listened to it are going to be going, wow.

210
00:15:58,000 --> 00:16:00,000
Well, they haven't heard it all because it's stuff at the end.

211
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Oh, is there now?

212
00:16:01,000 --> 00:16:06,000
First three, I'm saying this now because I'm editing it, but I don't know how I'm going to put it together. I have to cut this out.

213
00:16:06,000 --> 00:16:11,000
First three scenes at the start, fourth scenes at the end.

214
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Make sure you listen to the end then ladies and gentlemen.

215
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And remember, you always listen till the pip.

216
00:16:17,000 --> 00:16:19,000
Absolutely.

217
00:16:22,000 --> 00:16:24,000
Gordon Brother, what have you been up to?

218
00:16:24,000 --> 00:16:29,000
Fuck all. Work, work, more work. I've seen no sci-fi.

219
00:16:29,000 --> 00:16:33,000
I've been watching really happy stuff on TV.

220
00:16:33,000 --> 00:16:37,000
Law and Order Special Victims Unit. So really happy stuff.

221
00:16:37,000 --> 00:16:40,000
But you've got me addicted to Cult of Lamb.

222
00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:44,000
I am pretty much addicted to it at the moment.

223
00:16:44,000 --> 00:16:47,000
My little lamb running around, butchering everything it can.

224
00:16:47,000 --> 00:16:51,000
Would you like to tell the listeners what you've named all of your characters?

225
00:16:51,000 --> 00:16:53,000
Because you get little villages and you can rename them.

226
00:16:53,000 --> 00:17:02,000
So at the moment I have Prick, Cunt, Jizz, Chlamydia, Anus, Cumbucket.

227
00:17:02,000 --> 00:17:04,000
I can't think of the other names now.

228
00:17:04,000 --> 00:17:06,000
Anus died recently, by the way.

229
00:17:06,000 --> 00:17:09,000
He was an old horse that I adopted from someone else's clan.

230
00:17:09,000 --> 00:17:10,000
Oh, yeah.

231
00:17:10,000 --> 00:17:11,000
And I said, of course I'll have him.

232
00:17:11,000 --> 00:17:14,000
Then he died and everyone was sad, so I took up the ritual to perform a funeral.

233
00:17:14,000 --> 00:17:16,000
And everyone was happy again.

234
00:17:16,000 --> 00:17:19,000
I've got a funeral ritual. Oh, I haven't got a funeral.

235
00:17:19,000 --> 00:17:25,000
I went for the funeral ritual to bring up my happiness sort of raising, my faith raising, which it did quite well.

236
00:17:25,000 --> 00:17:27,000
What was the opposite to that? Was it sacrifice?

237
00:17:27,000 --> 00:17:28,000
Sacrifice.

238
00:17:28,000 --> 00:17:29,000
Yeah, I took sacrifice.

239
00:17:29,000 --> 00:17:30,000
Yeah, I've got that one now as well.

240
00:17:30,000 --> 00:17:32,000
Okay, right. Yeah, it's good to see. I took sacrifice.

241
00:17:32,000 --> 00:17:35,000
And I just dumped their bodies unceremoniously in the ground.

242
00:17:35,000 --> 00:17:37,000
Oh, yeah. I've got body holes.

243
00:17:38,000 --> 00:17:40,000
Do you prepare the body?

244
00:17:40,000 --> 00:17:43,000
Because you can just take the meat off them.

245
00:17:43,000 --> 00:17:44,000
Can you?

246
00:17:44,000 --> 00:17:46,000
Yes, you can even prepare the body.

247
00:17:46,000 --> 00:17:49,000
I haven't took the meat off them yet because there's always a crowd of them around.

248
00:17:49,000 --> 00:17:54,000
Because you use the the follower meat and stuff to do rituals.

249
00:17:54,000 --> 00:17:56,000
Oh, that's why I had a cannibal thing come up.

250
00:17:56,000 --> 00:18:02,000
So I must have done that by mistake in front of all of them because cooking, it was like cannibal special or something.

251
00:18:02,000 --> 00:18:06,000
Oh, no. Yeah. One of the meals is you can give them follower meat.

252
00:18:06,000 --> 00:18:11,000
Yeah, I accidentally did that. Sorry.

253
00:18:11,000 --> 00:18:15,000
But I'm also quite impressed that I've managed to find two necklaces already.

254
00:18:15,000 --> 00:18:17,000
So one of my followers just never sleeps.

255
00:18:17,000 --> 00:18:20,000
Yeah, one of them is always now happy.

256
00:18:20,000 --> 00:18:21,000
Yeah.

257
00:18:21,000 --> 00:18:23,000
And oh, what was the other thing?

258
00:18:23,000 --> 00:18:28,000
And I don't know what I've done, but one of my followers only does golden or...

259
00:18:28,000 --> 00:18:29,000
Poos.

260
00:18:29,000 --> 00:18:30,000
White turds.

261
00:18:30,000 --> 00:18:31,000
Yeah.

262
00:18:31,000 --> 00:18:33,000
Yeah. And they give me like the best berry bushes.

263
00:18:33,000 --> 00:18:35,000
So I'm looking after those ones.

264
00:18:35,000 --> 00:18:41,000
I just got two that they do a kind of a weird golden poo that when you pick it up, loads of coins drop on the floor.

265
00:18:41,000 --> 00:18:42,000
Is that that one?

266
00:18:42,000 --> 00:18:45,000
Yeah. But then I can use that as the fertilizer on the farm.

267
00:18:45,000 --> 00:18:49,000
And then you get golden berries and lots of money from that too, which I thought was quite cool.

268
00:18:49,000 --> 00:18:50,000
Do you? I did not know that.

269
00:18:50,000 --> 00:18:52,000
Yeah, you get special berries and money from those ones.

270
00:18:52,000 --> 00:18:54,000
Right. Okay.

271
00:18:54,000 --> 00:18:57,000
And then, of course, Prick's a dissident.

272
00:18:57,000 --> 00:18:58,000
What a prick.

273
00:18:58,000 --> 00:19:03,000
After making Chlamydia eat poo.

274
00:19:03,000 --> 00:19:05,000
Twice. I'll have you know.

275
00:19:05,000 --> 00:19:07,000
Yeah. I've got one that does that.

276
00:19:07,000 --> 00:19:09,000
He then became a dissident.

277
00:19:09,000 --> 00:19:16,000
So at the moment, I'm just waiting for sacrifice to cool down so I can sacrifice him for the good of the many.

278
00:19:16,000 --> 00:19:19,000
Yeah. Well, has he actually left you though? Because he's gone then.

279
00:19:19,000 --> 00:19:23,000
No, no. He's walking around at the moment with his little red diamond.

280
00:19:23,000 --> 00:19:25,000
Oh, yes. So I've got the stocks.

281
00:19:25,000 --> 00:19:28,000
I don't have any of that. I haven't got enough wood to build anything.

282
00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:33,000
So it's like, god damn it, I need to build them a toilet because they're shitting everywhere, which is causing me a problem with sickness.

283
00:19:33,000 --> 00:19:43,000
So what do I do? So I'll just keep educating him every day, waiting for rituals come on out of cooldown so I can just call everyone in and just say, kill him.

284
00:19:43,000 --> 00:19:45,000
Yeah, he's gone.

285
00:19:45,000 --> 00:19:51,000
I've taught you about it, ladies and gents. I've taught you all. You're fine with this. And they are. And it will give me a good faith boost.

286
00:19:51,000 --> 00:19:55,000
Yeah. People should play this. It's on pretty much everything. Xbox, PlayStation, Switch, computer.

287
00:19:55,000 --> 00:19:59,000
100 percent. In fact, on a Switch, I put it's amazing. Yeah, it'd be fun on the Switch.

288
00:19:59,000 --> 00:20:05,000
Portable. Oh, I might have to do that. I might just have to start again and do it on the Switch.

289
00:20:05,000 --> 00:20:12,000
Yeah, because we've got it through the PlayStation Plus. You'd have to buy it, obviously, because I don't think the internet's got anything like that, does it?

290
00:20:12,000 --> 00:20:17,000
True. I'll just leave it on the PlayStation then. But that's it.

291
00:20:20,000 --> 00:20:21,000
I have watched some stuff.

292
00:20:21,000 --> 00:20:23,000
But not Supernatural.

293
00:20:23,000 --> 00:20:25,000
Still not Supernatural. I've not gone back to it.

294
00:20:25,000 --> 00:20:31,000
Oh. I know. Sorry to disappoint you all. We've been watching the second series of Interview with the Vampire.

295
00:20:31,000 --> 00:20:32,000
Oh, yeah, yeah.

296
00:20:32,000 --> 00:20:37,000
If you remember, I was writing reviews for every episode of season one. I didn't bother this time.

297
00:20:37,000 --> 00:20:44,000
So we're about 15 minutes into the last episode of season two. We've binged it over the last few days. It's so fucking good.

298
00:20:44,000 --> 00:20:54,000
It's nowhere near as brutal and gory as season one was. There's so much shock factor in series one. But I think that's because Lestat... Have you seen the film?

299
00:20:54,000 --> 00:20:55,000
No.

300
00:20:55,000 --> 00:21:09,000
So Lestat in the films is played by Tom Cruise. His character is really fucked up. And he makes Louis, who is Brad Pitt's character in the films.

301
00:21:09,000 --> 00:21:16,000
Don't ask me who the actors are in the series. I don't know. But oh my God, that dog's fucking rotten far.

302
00:21:16,000 --> 00:21:18,000
Have you shit yourself first with your dog?

303
00:21:18,000 --> 00:21:21,000
No, that is so bad, Link.

304
00:21:21,000 --> 00:21:24,000
I was going to go, oh, this is... I'm painted.

305
00:21:24,000 --> 00:21:32,000
That's gross. Right. Sorry, everyone. Don't think you can smell it. It's just completely sidetracked us. Rotten.

306
00:21:32,000 --> 00:21:33,000
Dirty boy.

307
00:21:33,000 --> 00:21:46,000
Yeah. So Lestat is in season one way more. So there's the brutality comes because of him and his character. And then he's not in season two so much.

308
00:21:46,000 --> 00:21:51,000
It's more Louis and his relationship with another character.

309
00:21:51,000 --> 00:21:53,000
Rise. Okay.

310
00:21:53,000 --> 00:22:06,000
But it's really, really good. Really, really good. I'm really interested to see how it's going to end because it's kind of getting to the point of what happens in the end of the film.

311
00:22:06,000 --> 00:22:12,000
So apparently they've got another season. I don't know what there's going to be in it. But the books go on forever.

312
00:22:12,000 --> 00:22:15,000
Oh, I was going to say it's probably just continuation.

313
00:22:15,000 --> 00:22:24,000
From my understanding, someone can correct me who knows, the interview with the vampire film is only based on like one book from my understanding. And then there's loads of books all about Lestat.

314
00:22:24,000 --> 00:22:25,000
Oh.

315
00:22:25,000 --> 00:22:34,000
So Lestat, however you're supposed to pronounce his name. Yeah. So we've been watching that. It's really, really, really, really good. I think Deadpool Wolverine is out now.

316
00:22:34,000 --> 00:22:37,000
First of October it came out. So you've got to get on that.

317
00:22:37,000 --> 00:22:46,000
So we'll finish watching this and I think we'll go on to that. So as of recording, it's the second of October, Wednesday. So might get a chance to watch it tomorrow from the editing.

318
00:22:46,000 --> 00:22:58,000
Other than that, that's actually it really. We've been watching that. I've been playing Cult of the Lamb like you. Throne and Liberty came out yesterday. So SideQuest Mark and I played that a little bit.

319
00:22:58,000 --> 00:23:06,000
It's an MMO. Free to play on the computer. That's it really. More games than anything.

320
00:23:06,000 --> 00:23:14,000
That's what I've been playing more games than anything. But then again, I'm just saying, thinking, sorry, not saying, I'm just looking here. I've got three films booked.

321
00:23:14,000 --> 00:23:15,000
Oh cool.

322
00:23:15,000 --> 00:23:22,000
I've got on Friday at 7.45, Zombieland, 15th anniversary.

323
00:23:22,000 --> 00:23:24,000
Yeah, you said this last time. Yeah.

324
00:23:24,000 --> 00:23:25,000
Then that's coming up. Good.

325
00:23:25,000 --> 00:23:27,000
17th of October, Smile 2.

326
00:23:27,000 --> 00:23:28,000
Oh God.

327
00:23:28,000 --> 00:23:32,000
I quite liked the first one in a cheesy horror way it was.

328
00:23:32,000 --> 00:23:34,000
I enjoyed it. I found it quite scary.

329
00:23:34,000 --> 00:23:41,000
It was disturbing. So I'm looking forward to it. And then 25th of October, A Nightmare on Elm Street.

330
00:23:41,000 --> 00:23:44,000
Yes. I really want to hear what you think of that.

331
00:23:44,000 --> 00:23:49,000
It's only £5. Well, I've got my Sydney World card anyway, but they're horror season. Apparently it's £5 tickets.

332
00:23:49,000 --> 00:23:54,000
That's really good. It's kind of how much the price should be.

333
00:23:54,000 --> 00:23:55,000
Yeah.

334
00:23:55,000 --> 00:23:56,000
Come at me.

335
00:23:56,000 --> 00:24:01,000
Enter authorization code.

336
00:24:01,000 --> 00:24:10,000
No. You've got to do the lower decks theme and you can't think of it, can you?

337
00:24:10,000 --> 00:24:12,000
No, I just watched it literally half an hour ago.

338
00:24:12,000 --> 00:24:17,000
Yeah. Oh, the first thing I've got to say then. It's a Voyager heavy episode.

339
00:24:17,000 --> 00:24:18,000
Yeah.

340
00:24:18,000 --> 00:24:26,000
Why I think they should have done a special animated intro in the style of the Voyager with the Cerritos instead.

341
00:24:26,000 --> 00:24:35,000
You know, like they did with Strange New World. They should have done that for this episode to have it as Cerita going through the Voyager thing and fucking up the whole Voyager one instead.

342
00:24:35,000 --> 00:24:39,000
That was one of the best intros ever, that Strange New World when they did the lower decks intro.

343
00:24:39,000 --> 00:24:42,000
It was genius. So good. So good.

344
00:24:42,000 --> 00:24:55,000
Season four, episode one of lower decks, two vics. I had a crisis, as I told you, off of air that I suddenly started watching. I was like, shit, we've done this. We've done this. But no, we did two vics.

345
00:24:55,000 --> 00:24:56,000
We did. Two vics.

346
00:24:56,000 --> 00:25:01,000
The actual Voyager episode, not two vics. And also we spoke about this episode when we did the lower decks special.

347
00:25:01,000 --> 00:25:02,000
We did.

348
00:25:02,000 --> 00:25:04,000
So I might go over that slightly, but never mind, who cares.

349
00:25:04,000 --> 00:25:10,000
I'm a little bit sad to say I realised I never finished this series.

350
00:25:10,000 --> 00:25:12,000
Season four.

351
00:25:12,000 --> 00:25:16,000
I got four episodes in from the look of it and I've not watched the rest of the season.

352
00:25:16,000 --> 00:25:21,000
You know, I got four episodes in and it was ages before I went back to it, but I have finished it now.

353
00:25:21,000 --> 00:25:30,000
I'm going to go back to it now because I forgot how good it was. So it's just so much must have been going on. We were doing so many things. I think Helldivers had kicked in as well.

354
00:25:30,000 --> 00:25:41,000
And that was my spare time gone. So that's what I'm going to blame it on. Not that the show was bad. It was just more that something else came along and my brain went, oh, look, a squirrel.

355
00:25:41,000 --> 00:25:43,000
We did go for a very busy time with all this stuff too.

356
00:25:43,000 --> 00:25:50,000
Yeah, this too. That's true. So yeah, I am going to go back and watch them. This one I had seen though.

357
00:25:50,000 --> 00:25:53,000
Yeah. I'm rewatching it. I love it.

358
00:25:53,000 --> 00:25:54,000
Was this the one that we saw?

359
00:25:54,000 --> 00:25:57,000
This is the one we saw at the specials.

360
00:25:57,000 --> 00:26:04,000
Yeah. So we have said that before. We went to a special. I lied to you, I lied for 10, like we were invited, but you just saw the tickets and we went.

361
00:26:04,000 --> 00:26:09,000
One day, Paramount William will be back. One day.

362
00:26:09,000 --> 00:26:13,000
They won't.

363
00:26:13,000 --> 00:26:16,000
You know what I like about Lower Decks?

364
00:26:16,000 --> 00:26:33,000
The ship parts are all like 3D graphics, but made to look like they're not. And they do that so fucking well. You can see in the intro, and this episode was quite heavy with them when you see that Voyager and stuff.

365
00:26:33,000 --> 00:26:36,000
It's just a really neat little thing that they do.

366
00:26:36,000 --> 00:26:51,000
It's funny how things have changed with that as well because you can see it clearly, and obviously you need to be a fan of this, Family Guy. You look at the early series of Family Guy and it's just flat on screen animation done traditionally, kind of Simpsons, you name it.

367
00:26:51,000 --> 00:27:03,000
That's how it's done. And then as the seasons progress, you get more of this, hang on, is that? That's 3D now, but it's been painted to look 2D.

368
00:27:03,000 --> 00:27:04,000
Yeah.

369
00:27:04,000 --> 00:27:08,000
It seems to be a technique that's been introduced maybe the past 10 years?

370
00:27:08,000 --> 00:27:22,000
I didn't really notice it until today. In the intro, when the ship's going past and it's got the big creature attached to it, the creature's flat 2D image attached to the 3D ship.

371
00:27:22,000 --> 00:27:31,000
And when you see it, you're like, oh, it looks kind of funny, but kind of works at the same time. They haven't 3D modeled the monster. They've drawn the monster.

372
00:27:31,000 --> 00:27:34,000
Okay, I noticed that. I like that.

373
00:27:34,000 --> 00:27:35,000
Have a look next time.

374
00:27:35,000 --> 00:27:37,000
Yeah, I will do.

375
00:27:37,000 --> 00:27:43,000
So what's this episode about? They get sent on a classified mission, don't they? And turns out the classified mission is to...

376
00:27:43,000 --> 00:27:45,000
Nothing to do with the Romulans? Just point out?

377
00:27:45,000 --> 00:27:54,000
No, as they keep saying, we don't need to do with the Romulans. It's to escort a fly voyager somewhere to Earth.

378
00:27:54,000 --> 00:28:06,000
Back to Earth. So it can be on the ground on Earth before it's put into the Starship Museum in space. It's going to be on the ground for a little while and then it's going to be put back into space to be part of the Starfleet Museum.

379
00:28:06,000 --> 00:28:11,000
Yeah. And that's... they managed to fuck it up.

380
00:28:11,000 --> 00:28:14,000
Oh boy. Is it their fault?

381
00:28:14,000 --> 00:28:16,000
I don't think at any point it is anyone's fault.

382
00:28:16,000 --> 00:28:25,000
It's never anyone's fault. They didn't clean up. Macrovirus escaped. Absolutely the person who was cleaning up's job. Not the USS Cerritos crew.

383
00:28:25,000 --> 00:28:26,000
Yeah, not Boimler's fault.

384
00:28:26,000 --> 00:28:29,000
Not Boimler, no.

385
00:28:29,000 --> 00:28:31,000
Who's great in this episode?

386
00:28:31,000 --> 00:28:32,000
All of them are.

387
00:28:32,000 --> 00:28:34,000
I think every single one is really good.

388
00:28:34,000 --> 00:28:40,000
Mariner exploding when it's like, oh my god, it's Voyager. We're doing a Voyager thing. It's just brilliant.

389
00:28:40,000 --> 00:28:43,000
Yeah, I think that's how I felt in the cinema when we were watching it.

390
00:28:43,000 --> 00:28:46,000
Yeah, I think everyone in that room felt that way.

391
00:28:46,000 --> 00:28:53,000
And it's one of those things where you notice little bits that you didn't notice the first time around.

392
00:28:53,000 --> 00:29:08,000
I would have liked to see more labels because the very first thing you see is when they're going through Voyager, they're in what starts off as Captain Janeway's private room that Neelix turns into the canteen, doesn't he?

393
00:29:08,000 --> 00:29:21,000
And they've got the Neelix doll there and then there's one label and the label just says the recipes of Chef Neelix. But all the other labels you see throughout it, I didn't see any others that actually you could read.

394
00:29:21,000 --> 00:29:29,000
I like that scene because they were putting the little bowls of food out. Someone put a vat of food out and he sniffed it and was like, bleh.

395
00:29:29,000 --> 00:29:34,000
It's like everyone knows. Did you notice all the mannequins were different members of the crew?

396
00:29:34,000 --> 00:29:40,000
Yeah, yeah, yeah. So the one on the brisket he keeps knocking over is Kim. Dirty Kim.

397
00:29:40,000 --> 00:29:50,000
Yeah, dirty Kim. Yeah, that was just little neat touches like that. If you hadn't for whatever reason never seen Voyager, the episode probably would have been very confusing for you.

398
00:29:50,000 --> 00:29:52,000
But all the little bits wouldn't have made sense.

399
00:29:52,000 --> 00:30:07,000
No, and that's talking about the mannequins. Why didn't you just go for like lifelike mannequins? Instead they're all this generic mannequin shape, but they've got the hairstyles of the crew. So apparently we all know the hairstyles more than we do the crew.

400
00:30:07,000 --> 00:30:13,000
That's it. I do want to, because they talk about a few times about the Neelix cheese in this episode.

401
00:30:13,000 --> 00:30:14,000
Neelix cheese.

402
00:30:14,000 --> 00:30:17,000
I don't want to watch the episode because I'm struggling to remember that episode.

403
00:30:17,000 --> 00:30:18,000
I can't remember it.

404
00:30:18,000 --> 00:30:20,000
So I think at some point we're going to have to do the Neelix cheese.

405
00:30:20,000 --> 00:30:22,000
Maybe that'll be the next episode then.

406
00:30:22,000 --> 00:30:26,000
Yeah, maybe. We haven't chosen one have we?

407
00:30:26,000 --> 00:30:31,000
Yeah, there's all these little things of, you know, the Vulcan girl says this ship smells like Borg.

408
00:30:31,000 --> 00:30:33,000
Yes.

409
00:30:33,000 --> 00:30:37,000
Which is great. Someone just say it was so funny.

410
00:30:37,000 --> 00:30:43,000
Where are we at? Yeah, smells like Borg. They've got the, you know, they push the thing and of course there's the Orchid.

411
00:30:43,000 --> 00:30:53,000
There was a moment when I'd seen the episode twice before, maybe three times before, I was like why don't they just teleport that like we did in the shit show, like the whole joke of it. Of course the Orchid's on there.

412
00:30:53,000 --> 00:30:55,000
The Orchid is there.

413
00:30:55,000 --> 00:30:57,000
Yeah, it's just so funny.

414
00:30:57,000 --> 00:31:09,000
I know I keep saying this, but the whole episode is funny. There's not one bit of it that's dry or quiet. It's funny.

415
00:31:09,000 --> 00:31:11,000
And it's very fast paced.

416
00:31:11,000 --> 00:31:12,000
It is.

417
00:31:12,000 --> 00:31:13,000
Not in a bad way.

418
00:31:13,000 --> 00:31:24,000
And it's because it's got two distinct storylines going on. You've got Void getting more and more fucked up as it goes. And then you've got the Tuvik side of the story.

419
00:31:24,000 --> 00:31:25,000
Yeah.

420
00:31:25,000 --> 00:31:29,000
So how do you want to do this episode?

421
00:31:29,000 --> 00:31:33,000
I think maybe this one we do kind of just go through it because it's very short.

422
00:31:33,000 --> 00:31:39,000
Accessing library computer data.

423
00:31:39,000 --> 00:31:48,000
We've already done it because we know where they're going. We've had Mariner be really excited. On multiple occasions they've said I hope it's not a Romulan thing.

424
00:31:48,000 --> 00:31:58,000
I thought that was just very funny. It didn't deserve to, it didn't need to be, it wasn't really funny, but it's just funny how everyone's going I hope it's not a Romulan thing. I hate the Romulans.

425
00:31:58,000 --> 00:32:03,000
Yeah, Mariner says it right at the beginning when Boimler says what his first job of the day is.

426
00:32:03,000 --> 00:32:14,000
Holodeck waste duty. The thing that we have gone back to many times now on the Untitled Trek show. Holodeck waste duty.

427
00:32:14,000 --> 00:32:22,000
And the folk, and I can't remember her name, says you are going to smell absolutely disgusting laser. Thanks.

428
00:32:22,000 --> 00:32:26,000
And you will do because when he's doing the holodeck canons he drops one.

429
00:32:26,000 --> 00:32:31,000
And gets that green thick gip on the frizz.

430
00:32:31,000 --> 00:32:41,000
I love how Ransom just walks in and is like, promotions today, as long as nothing goes wrong you're going to be absolutely fine. And then there's just a little quiet voice.

431
00:32:41,000 --> 00:32:53,000
It always goes wrong. Yeah, it's one of those things where it would all have been fine if that seed hadn't been planted. I think because that seed had been planted in his head he was then questioning every single decision he was making and then that...

432
00:32:53,000 --> 00:32:55,000
Self deprecating himself.

433
00:32:55,000 --> 00:32:57,000
He just fucked himself up the whole time.

434
00:32:57,000 --> 00:33:01,000
Self, self sabotage. Self sabotage. That's the word I was trying to think of.

435
00:33:01,000 --> 00:33:28,000
They kind of get there, they meet the guy who is running the ship, the Voyager thing. He's a weird character.

436
00:33:31,000 --> 00:33:59,000
Yeah, sorry for keeping it secret but we've been doing our best and the final pieces were delivered. I'd love to know where they ordered them from.

437
00:33:59,000 --> 00:34:01,000
Yeah.

438
00:34:01,000 --> 00:34:11,000
Do you just order those bits or were they just found in some warehouse or are they not even parts of Voyager that you just found because it's from a sister ship maybe? I don't know.

439
00:34:11,000 --> 00:34:24,000
I've quite got into the whole idea that there's these entire places like Geordi has the Enterprise hidden away, this bloke's got Voyager hidden away and they're just doing their best to make it look like it was. I really quite like that.

440
00:34:24,000 --> 00:34:31,000
What does it tell you about the logistics in Star Trek Universe that these ships can go missing? Yeah. Angerly things can happen to them.

441
00:34:31,000 --> 00:34:41,000
Then we've had the intro and we said it would be nice to have had a Voyager-ish one with the Cerritos just fucking it up. Would have been quite funny but that's just me.

442
00:34:41,000 --> 00:34:51,000
And then you've got Rutherford just sticking his hand in the bio-packs going, I just wanted to see how it works. It's just sparking away.

443
00:34:51,000 --> 00:35:00,000
Yeah, I mean he's a great character as well all the way through. I'm going to keep saying that but there isn't a single character in there that isn't funny, isn't good.

444
00:35:00,000 --> 00:35:06,000
No, there's not a character I don't like at all. Even the ones you're not meant to like. Like Badgey. Yeah.

445
00:35:06,000 --> 00:35:13,000
And Peanut Hamper. Great Baddies. Peanut Hamper, yeah. She's not in this one but yeah. Fucking hell.

446
00:35:13,000 --> 00:35:23,000
We have a really aggressive, I'm so bad with names, a Dr Cat. Oh, Dr Paul.

447
00:35:23,000 --> 00:35:36,000
Yes. Dr Paul's in this would be completely different. Tian. Yeah, we see her as herself very briefly. She looks really dishevelled more than normal.

448
00:35:36,000 --> 00:35:44,000
I love it. And she's really aggressive to that guy who's asking if she wants to take a teleportation.

449
00:35:44,000 --> 00:35:53,000
Oh yeah, he's like, yeah, do you want me to teleport you back? And he's like, of course. Why not?

450
00:35:53,000 --> 00:36:04,000
Yeah. And then of course the little petal that fell off the orchid and we saw its little journey when it fell off its little, fell out of its tub, lands in his pocket beautifully and they get teleported and then.

451
00:36:04,000 --> 00:36:18,000
So it's Billups, isn't it? Tillips. No, no, Billups is the one that. Oh Billups, yeah. Yeah, is the one doing the transport and it's him and Dr Tian that get merged to start with.

452
00:36:18,000 --> 00:36:26,000
And they turn into Tillips. Sorry. Tillip. I'm just going to sidetrack it. Moran has been texting me this whole time. Would you like me to tell you the text messages? Go on.

453
00:36:26,000 --> 00:36:36,000
There's loads of police out the front. They're raiding a house. They've just arrested someone. No. Right out there. Should we go have a look? Pause the recording. Pause the recording.

454
00:36:36,000 --> 00:37:03,000
That's a bit of excitement, wasn't it? It was. The rosters are outside. With the old Bill out there. Right. So hang on. Where were we up to? So yeah, so they've just been turned into two vix. To Tillips. Tillips, sorry.

455
00:37:03,000 --> 00:37:18,000
And I love the fact that basically the museum custodian says, oh, this has happened before. And she just says, look, we can manage this. You get Voyage of Atasworth. Just send me Catherine Draven.

456
00:37:18,000 --> 00:37:33,000
Catherine Draven. Such a good running joke. She just sends it to her. Cause Mariner goes straight away, doesn't she? How did they, oh yeah, Mariner says straight away, does she? Janeway just straight up killed them.

457
00:37:33,000 --> 00:37:49,000
And then Ransom walks into the office. So how did Janeway do it? She just straight up killed them. She just killed him. Yeah. We can't do this. And then because obviously, no, it's Jackson comes in. Oh, it's Jackson. Yeah.

458
00:37:49,000 --> 00:38:03,000
Cause then he's like, yeah, but we're not stuck in the Alpha Quadrant. We're not stuck in the Delta Quadrant. We can just go to Earth. Brilliant. So yeah, so we're going to take you to Earth. But of course, Tillips has already also had the same idea.

459
00:38:03,000 --> 00:38:14,000
It literally cuts to him looking at the band of the porters. What? I'm not going to die. I always say he's got stuff hidden around. He's got stuff hidden in the ceiling ready.

460
00:38:14,000 --> 00:38:36,000
Oh yeah. He builds this hole, he integrates a teleporter into his quarters, doesn't he? Yeah. But did you, I can't remember if it's this bit or later. They're on the bridge and they discover the weird germ, the macro virus thing, which sounds small, but it's such a giant thing with a huge goo spewing pincer coming out of his mouth trying to get Boimler.

461
00:38:36,000 --> 00:38:48,000
And then they all start chasing it around because it separates and like, oh, block the doors. I just love the fact that he said, what's it going to do to me? It's like, everyone's been vaccinated. It's nothing. It's like, how can you vaccinate something this big?

462
00:38:48,000 --> 00:38:55,000
It's a face crab from Half Life or from Alien, like trying to get on your face. It's like, what?

463
00:38:55,000 --> 00:39:09,000
But yeah, then he drops, doesn't he? As they come towards him and he's like, Boimler, you let it get away. It's a really good scene because the camera's like behind Boimler and it's looking into the bridge and everyone is stood there looking at him like, come on.

464
00:39:09,000 --> 00:39:19,000
Like really like anywhere then would have stopped. And then Ransom running past him going, I've got serious doubts about that promotion now. Boimler, get in here. This is your problem.

465
00:39:19,000 --> 00:39:27,000
Yeah. They had a, I really liked the scene as well with Ransom and the pig man.

466
00:39:27,000 --> 00:39:31,000
Oh, I've got that down here. Did you write it down? Well done.

467
00:39:31,000 --> 00:39:37,000
Yeah. Timber is arms wide as I ransom answers him in that land bridge.

468
00:39:37,000 --> 00:39:39,000
It's a merriam.

469
00:39:39,000 --> 00:39:40,000
Yeah, I was paying attention.

470
00:39:40,000 --> 00:39:42,000
Yeah, I paid attention. Yeah.

471
00:39:42,000 --> 00:39:53,000
Because the other words are basically is like fist bump. Yeah. Yeah, I was paying attention. It's brilliant. It was a great, absolutely brilliant that someone has bothered to learn to marry.

472
00:39:53,000 --> 00:39:58,000
Yeah. And then they get, we get a pike comment. They do a little throwback.

473
00:39:58,000 --> 00:40:03,000
Of course, it says, it's like that pike thing we can't talk about.

474
00:40:03,000 --> 00:40:19,000
Yeah. Which is a nice nods that places this episode after the, the one in Strangely Wells. And then we get to see a great bit in with a new doctor. You obviously one of the other doctors and they talk about what's happened.

475
00:40:19,000 --> 00:40:21,000
Would you like to know what he says? I wrote down what he says.

476
00:40:21,000 --> 00:40:22,000
Yeah, go for it.

477
00:40:22,000 --> 00:40:28,000
He says they symbiogenetically merged on a cellular level. It's quite low level Trek wording.

478
00:40:28,000 --> 00:40:34,000
But that is exactly the word they use in Tuvix. Yep, because that is the exact phrase that I made Simon say.

479
00:40:34,000 --> 00:40:36,000
It is.

480
00:40:36,000 --> 00:40:40,000
And they said, oh, we call it being Tuvix'd.

481
00:40:40,000 --> 00:40:42,000
Yeah, we call it.

482
00:40:42,000 --> 00:40:45,000
The picture they've got demonstrating it.

483
00:40:45,000 --> 00:40:47,000
I wrote that down too.

484
00:40:47,000 --> 00:40:53,000
You've got the Vulcan, you've got a Tuvok stood there very high and then you've got Nelix doing a little.

485
00:40:53,000 --> 00:40:56,000
A jolting little dance. Yeah, yeah. I've written that as well.

486
00:40:56,000 --> 00:41:04,000
That was such a beautiful little thing. Nelix doing this little, little Irish jigsaw dance.

487
00:41:04,000 --> 00:41:06,000
Let's do a babe coughing, terrible.

488
00:41:06,000 --> 00:41:10,000
Oh, it was absolutely wonderful. Yeah, I've got Nelix pictures doing a jig.

489
00:41:10,000 --> 00:41:14,000
Yeah, I've got, I've got love the jolly stance Nelix has on the computer. It's a jaunty jig.

490
00:41:14,000 --> 00:41:20,000
Yeah, there you go. But yeah, that's the one. Yeah, we call it being Tuvix'd.

491
00:41:20,000 --> 00:41:24,000
So it makes you question how many times has this happened since?

492
00:41:24,000 --> 00:41:32,000
Yeah, exactly, exactly. But now everything really starts going wrong because the green thing is spunking everywhere and setting everything off.

493
00:41:32,000 --> 00:41:37,000
And then we get. Well, the Borg thing, then it goes into the Borg area of the.

494
00:41:37,000 --> 00:41:40,000
We get the holograms first. Oh, yes, we get the holograms first.

495
00:41:40,000 --> 00:41:42,000
Do you remember the names of the three holograms?

496
00:41:42,000 --> 00:41:50,000
The Clown, Chaotica. Chaotica, yeah. And the one I don't get. Thomas. Michael.

497
00:41:50,000 --> 00:41:53,000
Oh, Michael Anderson. Michael Sullivan. Michael Sullivan.

498
00:41:53,000 --> 00:41:58,000
Mr. Anderson on the Matrix. I don't know what episode he's from.

499
00:41:58,000 --> 00:42:02,000
It must be one where Janeway cheats on her husband with him, maybe. I don't know.

500
00:42:02,000 --> 00:42:07,000
Well, if you're in the Delta Quadrant, you've got to get some holographic dick.

501
00:42:07,000 --> 00:42:12,000
Someone's got to clean up the vials of it, for God's sake. Oh, there you go.

502
00:42:12,000 --> 00:42:17,000
Right. Michael Sullivan was a character in Tom Paris's holodeck program Paris 042.

503
00:42:17,000 --> 00:42:23,000
In it, Sullivan owned Sullivan's Public House, a town pub in 19th century Fairhaven Island.

504
00:42:23,000 --> 00:42:28,000
So who shags him? Well, that's what I was just wondering.

505
00:42:28,000 --> 00:42:33,000
Sullivan was transported off the holodeck using the doctor's mobile emitter, because of course,

506
00:42:33,000 --> 00:42:36,000
Janeway explains to him about Voyager and they both return to the holodeck.

507
00:42:36,000 --> 00:42:41,000
Sullivan calmed the townspeople down and convinced them that the Voyager crew meant no harm.

508
00:42:41,000 --> 00:42:48,000
The program was shut down for repairs, but not before the crew enjoyed one more night at Sullivan's Public House.

509
00:42:48,000 --> 00:42:51,000
So that was Voyager, Fairhaven and Spiritfolk.

510
00:42:51,000 --> 00:42:56,000
So why do they need to go and calm the holograms down?

511
00:42:56,000 --> 00:42:59,000
Sullivan was surprisingly aware of his surroundings.

512
00:42:59,000 --> 00:43:05,000
Kim discovered that his perceptual filter was disabled or were offline.

513
00:43:05,000 --> 00:43:14,000
So according to this, based on what I've just read and just putting a hell of a lot of reliance on me not making up too much crap,

514
00:43:14,000 --> 00:43:21,000
that says that holodeck characters, if you don't in your code write perceptual filter equals true,

515
00:43:21,000 --> 00:43:25,000
they then basically think they're real. They're sentient. They're fucking sentient.

516
00:43:25,000 --> 00:43:28,000
They become sentient. So crap.

517
00:43:28,000 --> 00:43:31,000
I feel like the holodeck is massively over engineered.

518
00:43:31,000 --> 00:43:38,000
They then had to put a load of seatbelts and bootstrap things on it to stop it from just taking over the ship.

519
00:43:38,000 --> 00:43:41,000
I've got to say, Memory Alpha is a great web page.

520
00:43:41,000 --> 00:43:45,000
A perceptual filter was a component of a holographic program run on holodeck.

521
00:43:45,000 --> 00:43:49,000
It kept the holodeck characters oblivious to anything outside the parameters of the program.

522
00:43:49,000 --> 00:43:54,000
This allowed a participant of the program to give computer commands to the holodeck system without the characters responding to such an action,

523
00:43:54,000 --> 00:43:58,000
which makes absolute sense because you think every time the holodeck is in play

524
00:43:58,000 --> 00:44:03,000
and everyone's so enamored at how real it is, no one ever comments,

525
00:44:03,000 --> 00:44:06,000
why did Wolf just say computer show door?

526
00:44:06,000 --> 00:44:13,000
No, because they're just, because if you just didn't, you don't need a perception filter, but you could just make them an AI.

527
00:44:13,000 --> 00:44:15,000
It's just like pressing pause on your PlayStation controller, isn't it?

528
00:44:15,000 --> 00:44:16,000
Yeah.

529
00:44:16,000 --> 00:44:19,000
Pause the game. The characters don't know what's going on anymore.

530
00:44:19,000 --> 00:44:24,000
Yeah, but they don't need perception filters. So why would you need to go so far?

531
00:44:24,000 --> 00:44:28,000
Or is it because you want the characters to act so real?

532
00:44:28,000 --> 00:44:31,000
See, we didn't talk about this on our I lived a holodeck episode.

533
00:44:31,000 --> 00:44:34,000
You wanted to be worried about where the cum goes.

534
00:44:34,000 --> 00:44:43,000
You want the characters to be so real, so they're making the chat GPT 7 billion version people.

535
00:44:43,000 --> 00:44:47,000
And they're like, oh, fuck, we can't do this because they're all going to become sentient killers and wipe us all out.

536
00:44:47,000 --> 00:44:50,000
We need to put perception filters on. Oh, here we go.

537
00:44:50,000 --> 00:44:53,000
Yeah, you know what? We might need to watch that episode again then,

538
00:44:53,000 --> 00:45:00,000
because it's got in 2376, such as a malfunction, such a malfunction occurred with the within can't talk today

539
00:45:00,000 --> 00:45:03,000
within the Fairhaven program on the USS Voyager.

540
00:45:03,000 --> 00:45:07,000
Many characters within the program, including Michael Sullivan,

541
00:45:07,000 --> 00:45:11,000
began to question the strange activities of the members of the Voyager crew in the program.

542
00:45:11,000 --> 00:45:18,000
This included Tom Paris's use using the computer to repair a tire on his primitive car. Fair enough.

543
00:45:18,000 --> 00:45:23,000
And turning one of the characters, Maggie O'Hallohan, into a cow as a joke.

544
00:45:23,000 --> 00:45:27,000
Imagine if your perception was turned off and someone just come along gone,

545
00:45:27,000 --> 00:45:30,000
huh, bitch, you're a cow now. Moo.

546
00:45:30,000 --> 00:45:36,000
The whole town's been, which? Yeah, which we could be that in that.

547
00:45:36,000 --> 00:45:40,000
Did we turn on the safeguards? Harry, did we turn on the safeguards?

548
00:45:40,000 --> 00:45:43,000
No, the safeguards. Yeah, that's in this.

549
00:45:43,000 --> 00:45:47,000
Which is in this. Bringing it back around to talk about the episode with me.

550
00:45:47,000 --> 00:45:50,000
Yeah, the hologram safety protocols are set to random.

551
00:45:50,000 --> 00:45:56,000
Random, I love, why have we set it to random? No, computer, set it to off, on, on, set it to on.

552
00:45:56,000 --> 00:46:00,000
Oh, it's so good. Yeah.

553
00:46:00,000 --> 00:46:04,000
It was so stupid and it worked. Yeah.

554
00:46:04,000 --> 00:46:09,000
You would never have got away with that in the next duration of Voyager, but in this it just, it felt perfect.

555
00:46:09,000 --> 00:46:12,000
I think it worked because when you're watching all the Voyager episodes,

556
00:46:12,000 --> 00:46:16,000
everyone knew Voyager was a bit kooky with some of the things it did.

557
00:46:16,000 --> 00:46:23,000
But when you put them all together, it just kind of exacerbates those kookiness into this word madness.

558
00:46:23,000 --> 00:46:28,000
They make a comment in it, don't they? The Voyager crew just did some really weird stuff.

559
00:46:28,000 --> 00:46:32,000
Yeah, it was Voyager. So at least he says on Friction Week, it was Voyager.

560
00:46:32,000 --> 00:46:37,000
So yeah, I mean, then they end up in the Borg kind of regenerative room,

561
00:46:37,000 --> 00:46:42,000
then falls on the museum curator and Boimler is blamed yet again.

562
00:46:42,000 --> 00:46:46,000
And he's like, he's trying to regenerate me. It's wonderful.

563
00:46:46,000 --> 00:46:49,000
I can feel it regenerate.

564
00:46:49,000 --> 00:46:55,000
And then obviously the macro virus then gets borgified.

565
00:46:55,000 --> 00:47:00,000
It gets assimilated and it just flies off in this weird shape of thing with its red eye.

566
00:47:00,000 --> 00:47:09,000
And then the next thing you've got is you've got the little robot Newt run past with the little red eyepiece on it.

567
00:47:09,000 --> 00:47:17,000
That's cool. But again, this is a fuck up by the person cleaning the ship because I think none of that should have been live anymore.

568
00:47:17,000 --> 00:47:20,000
Yeah, I think what's the engineer guy called again?

569
00:47:20,000 --> 00:47:24,000
Rutherford. I think Rutherford says, oh, there must have been a stray nanite in there.

570
00:47:24,000 --> 00:47:27,000
Yes. And that's what's got on to him.

571
00:47:27,000 --> 00:47:30,000
And then that's what's done it. Yeah.

572
00:47:30,000 --> 00:47:35,000
And then what was yes, so that's after Borg nanite in the macroviolet.

573
00:47:35,000 --> 00:47:39,000
And then they record it a macro night is calling it now.

574
00:47:39,000 --> 00:47:49,000
And then we get the captain gets transformed and then till it's basically decides on what's going to happen.

575
00:47:49,000 --> 00:47:54,000
And we get lots and lots and lots of conversions, including probably my fail.

576
00:47:54,000 --> 00:48:00,000
Sway way, Swalons. Yeah, we see him lately where the doctors merged.

577
00:48:00,000 --> 00:48:05,000
The dolphins get merged with with one of the other with what's his name? Steve Stevens.

578
00:48:05,000 --> 00:48:10,000
Steve Stevens becomes swagger swagger.

579
00:48:10,000 --> 00:48:14,000
Which is a really good poem. Follow it. It's a really good one.

580
00:48:14,000 --> 00:48:20,000
Everything is so good. And it just keeps making his own horrible monster.

581
00:48:20,000 --> 00:48:26,000
Yes. But you've missed a very important scene. Oh, Tendi and the Vulcan lady at the bar.

582
00:48:26,000 --> 00:48:31,000
Oh, yes. And what do we see at the bar?

583
00:48:31,000 --> 00:48:35,000
Mug watch. Oh, mug watch.

584
00:48:35,000 --> 00:48:39,000
Now, there's a load of glasses there. You can see them underneath the bar.

585
00:48:39,000 --> 00:48:44,000
Yeah, we've got Martini star star ones. We've got short little stubby ones.

586
00:48:44,000 --> 00:48:48,000
We've got those stupid thin ones that you see in next gen.

587
00:48:48,000 --> 00:48:52,000
They put them in there and then and the Vulcan guy.

588
00:48:52,000 --> 00:48:58,000
I don't remember anyone's name. Or does room temperature water from the replicator.

589
00:48:58,000 --> 00:49:01,000
To Lin, I think.

590
00:49:01,000 --> 00:49:06,000
That's so bland, even for a Vulcan. Yeah.

591
00:49:06,000 --> 00:49:09,000
I quite like her character though. Oh, no, I enjoy her character.

592
00:49:09,000 --> 00:49:15,000
The British ship plays it perfectly and it keeps it to the Vulcan standard across all of Star Trek,

593
00:49:15,000 --> 00:49:21,000
which is really hard when everyone else is having really lots of fun with their character.

594
00:49:21,000 --> 00:49:26,000
So I think they did a really good job at keeping that as, no, we're going to play the Vulcan straight.

595
00:49:26,000 --> 00:49:31,000
Was it then Tendi says, don't you want to go see two Vox quarters?

596
00:49:31,000 --> 00:49:36,000
And she's like, is it Namir? She said something like that, doesn't she?

597
00:49:36,000 --> 00:49:41,000
He's like, I suppose. But yeah, I've just I've got that written here. Love the relationships in this.

598
00:49:41,000 --> 00:49:45,000
Yeah. Just full stop. Everyone does feel like this huge family in this.

599
00:49:45,000 --> 00:49:50,000
And we get the good scene with Marino and Boynmille. She gets green spunked to a wall.

600
00:49:50,000 --> 00:49:54,000
Boynmille comes and saves, well, takes it off her face.

601
00:49:54,000 --> 00:49:58,000
I need an engineer. And then oh, yeah, sorry. That's what he says to Ransom.

602
00:49:58,000 --> 00:50:02,000
He's like, I could save you. I need an engineer and saves Rutherford instead.

603
00:50:02,000 --> 00:50:10,000
Yeah. So he says, so yeah, he finds Rutherford and it's got Ransom and the Samarian all stuck to the wall.

604
00:50:10,000 --> 00:50:16,000
And I love it. He saves Rutherford. He's like, Rutherford, how can we disable the ship? I've got an idea.

605
00:50:16,000 --> 00:50:23,000
Yeah. And obviously he uses the Neelix cheese. I've got to say, I'm going to add this here.

606
00:50:23,000 --> 00:50:27,000
This is so much better than the original Tuvix episode.

607
00:50:27,000 --> 00:50:34,000
Yeah. We enjoyed the Tuvix episode. The Tuvix episode is very good for different reasons, but this is better.

608
00:50:34,000 --> 00:50:48,000
Because then obviously we end up and the Vulcan and Tendi have managed to reroute the transporter

609
00:50:48,000 --> 00:50:54,000
and she transports him into the brig. I've just got it written here. Meatball.

610
00:50:54,000 --> 00:50:55,000
Yeah.

611
00:50:55,000 --> 00:50:57,000
He's made one giant meatball.

612
00:50:57,000 --> 00:51:03,000
The big blob I wrote. Yes, they merge them all into one big gross blob.

613
00:51:03,000 --> 00:51:08,000
And it's funny how they decide they're going to split them by personality.

614
00:51:08,000 --> 00:51:17,000
Yeah. So Tendi says, oh, we've got their personality on record and using the tricorder that Tillips had modified earlier,

615
00:51:17,000 --> 00:51:21,000
she can see even deeper than normal and it can show all the people's personalities.

616
00:51:21,000 --> 00:51:26,000
So yeah, I like how they bond over that. It's like, I'll do the DNA, you do the personalities.

617
00:51:26,000 --> 00:51:34,000
Now there's a great comment that the Vulcan girl says when Tendi's like, oh, we can do their emotions to tell the difference.

618
00:51:34,000 --> 00:51:40,000
And then she says, how am I supposed to tell the difference between a whale and Steve Stevens?

619
00:51:40,000 --> 00:51:46,000
Which I just thought was so good.

620
00:51:46,000 --> 00:51:49,000
Poor Steve Stevens.

621
00:51:49,000 --> 00:51:56,000
I was laughing on the sofa when she said it. That just, I don't know, just thing about that tickled me so much.

622
00:51:56,000 --> 00:51:58,000
And her delivery was so good.

623
00:51:58,000 --> 00:52:03,000
Who do you feel worse for though? The whale or Steve Stevens?

624
00:52:03,000 --> 00:52:08,000
But yeah, obviously they managed to transport them. They get all that bit done.

625
00:52:08,000 --> 00:52:15,000
Voyager gets creamed up with Nelix cheese. All the holograms stop working just in the nick of time.

626
00:52:15,000 --> 00:52:20,000
And I love that Boimler says, we've got enough time to clean up before we get to Earth, don't we?

627
00:52:20,000 --> 00:52:21,000
Yeah.

628
00:52:21,000 --> 00:52:23,000
It's like, ah, okay.

629
00:52:23,000 --> 00:52:26,000
And then that's kind of it really. Everyone gets a promotion apart from Rutherford.

630
00:52:26,000 --> 00:52:28,000
Yeah, which I thought was so rough.

631
00:52:28,000 --> 00:52:33,000
I kind of, right here, why does Rutherford not get promoted? And he says himself, well, engineers aren't supposed to break things.

632
00:52:33,000 --> 00:52:36,000
Yeah, we're not supposed to break things. We're the ones that are meant to fix things.

633
00:52:36,000 --> 00:52:41,000
Yeah. So even though he does kind of, he saves the day as well, like with Boimler.

634
00:52:41,000 --> 00:52:44,000
I mean, it's a picture of him and Boimler on the Voyager ship.

635
00:52:44,000 --> 00:52:48,000
Yeah, but I still think there's something more to it anyway, isn't there?

636
00:52:48,000 --> 00:52:49,000
Yeah.

637
00:52:49,000 --> 00:52:54,000
As I say, I haven't seen the rest of the series, so I don't know if he does finally get promoted or if they all get demoted again.

638
00:52:54,000 --> 00:52:56,000
So I don't know what's coming.

639
00:52:56,000 --> 00:53:00,000
Oh, there's cool stuff, but with Rutherford later and Boimler.

640
00:53:00,000 --> 00:53:06,000
I can't remember, which is the series that Rutherford starts realising that they wiped his memory? That was the season before, wasn't it?

641
00:53:06,000 --> 00:53:12,000
That's season three, yeah. That's season three. And that's it. They all become Lieutenant Junior Grades.

642
00:53:12,000 --> 00:53:13,000
Junior Grade, yeah.

643
00:53:13,000 --> 00:53:16,000
And then next thing we know on a Klingon Lower Decks ship.

644
00:53:16,000 --> 00:53:22,000
The four episodes, I love the fact that they then go, Lower Decks Klingon ship.

645
00:53:22,000 --> 00:53:31,000
Why are you, what was it? So you're sharpening your spear and then, who's grateful they've got a sharpened spear now?

646
00:53:31,000 --> 00:53:40,000
Yeah, it's good. Yeah, because they get attacked by that ship, which is a continued presence in this series.

647
00:53:40,000 --> 00:53:47,000
Yes, because of course, series, sorry, four episode two opens with the Romulans being attacked by the same ship.

648
00:53:47,000 --> 00:53:53,000
Because it's all the same Lower Decks that we saw, was it the end of season three when it did the after credits scene,

649
00:53:53,000 --> 00:53:57,000
where it had the Lower Decks for the Klingons, Lower Decks of the Romulans and Vulcans,

650
00:53:57,000 --> 00:54:01,000
and then it was the after credits that had the Lower Decks of the Borg and they're all just getting regenerated.

651
00:54:01,000 --> 00:54:03,000
Yeah, just all regenerated and it's just quiet.

652
00:54:03,000 --> 00:54:04,000
That was I X Cretus, actually.

653
00:54:04,000 --> 00:54:06,000
Was it I X Cretus?

654
00:54:06,000 --> 00:54:07,000
Was the end of I X Cretus?

655
00:54:07,000 --> 00:54:08,000
That was season two, I don't think so.

656
00:54:08,000 --> 00:54:11,000
Well, anyway, I'm sure that happens at the end of one of the episodes.

657
00:54:11,000 --> 00:54:19,000
It does, yeah, and it's just all the Borg drones and it's just like, a very, very clever way of doing it.

658
00:54:19,000 --> 00:54:26,000
But I did think having the Lower Decks, the fact that every race has a Lower Decks base, it's just brilliant.

659
00:54:26,000 --> 00:54:30,000
You can just do so much with it. Why the fuck is it cancelled?

660
00:54:30,000 --> 00:54:34,000
I know, so frustrating. There's been loads of stuff I see on Twitter at the moment with,

661
00:54:34,000 --> 00:54:39,000
because I suddenly started following and being followed by loads of other Star Trek podcasters and stuff.

662
00:54:39,000 --> 00:54:44,000
Karen's been doing a lot of heavy lifting for me on there. Thank you, Karen.

663
00:54:44,000 --> 00:54:46,000
I'm just fucking useless.

664
00:54:46,000 --> 00:54:47,000
No, you're not.

665
00:54:47,000 --> 00:54:53,000
And there was one that had a load of the women from different Star Treks on the panel,

666
00:54:53,000 --> 00:55:00,000
and it has the lady who plays Mariner, and I was like, I feel bad for you because your one's got cancelled.

667
00:55:00,000 --> 00:55:05,000
Even though it had one of the girls from Picard, which is now obviously not doing any more Picard,

668
00:55:05,000 --> 00:55:10,000
but she might be in that other series that they may or may not be doing the rumoured one.

669
00:55:10,000 --> 00:55:11,000
Oh, who knows?

670
00:55:11,000 --> 00:55:12,000
Who knows what they're doing?

671
00:55:12,000 --> 00:55:14,000
But I couldn't give a shit about it.

672
00:55:14,000 --> 00:55:16,000
I just want more Lower Decks. I just want more Lower Decks.

673
00:55:16,000 --> 00:55:23,000
I want more Lower Decks, and it's one of the highest rated Star Treks that they've had, and they've just fucked it right up.

674
00:55:23,000 --> 00:55:30,000
Right, let's rant in a minute. Let's end this section and then we can rant.

675
00:55:30,000 --> 00:55:34,000
Transfer complete.

676
00:55:34,000 --> 00:55:39,000
Right, now you're allowed to rant. I've just put a noise in between the two sections.

677
00:55:39,000 --> 00:55:51,000
Paramount are cunts. You cannot cancel one of your highest rated Star Trek spin-offs and just go, well, we did.

678
00:55:51,000 --> 00:55:53,000
No.

679
00:55:53,000 --> 00:56:01,000
We've gone through this before. Why do that thing in London last year that we went to, which they did around the globe?

680
00:56:01,000 --> 00:56:05,000
It was a global thing. I know it was to do with an anniversary of Star Trek at the same time,

681
00:56:05,000 --> 00:56:15,000
but the point is it's the only Star Trek, even with how good CGI is nowadays and how good prosthetics and everything like that is,

682
00:56:15,000 --> 00:56:20,000
it's the only Star Trek they could actually do anything they want.

683
00:56:20,000 --> 00:56:29,000
Look at Star Trek the original series. Love it. Very hard to watch now, but if you've got that retro love for it,

684
00:56:29,000 --> 00:56:33,000
and like you said, you've got the nostalgia for it, you get through and you enjoy it still.

685
00:56:33,000 --> 00:56:41,000
I'd never seen Star Trek the original series, the animated series, and I've watched it all now, and it's flipping wonderful

686
00:56:41,000 --> 00:56:47,000
because they could do all the things they wanted in the original series that they couldn't do.

687
00:56:47,000 --> 00:56:52,000
That's what the animated series gave them the ability. It's like, oh, hang on, it's animated.

688
00:56:52,000 --> 00:56:57,000
We can do whatever we want here. They did. Lower Decks is exactly that.

689
00:56:57,000 --> 00:57:05,000
They've got something that's funny, it's moving, it's got characters people like, and it's got an infinite storyline.

690
00:57:05,000 --> 00:57:10,000
You can do whatever you want with it as long as you've got good writers because it's animated.

691
00:57:10,000 --> 00:57:14,000
It doesn't need to end. Instead, what have they done? They've just gone, no, we're going to pull the plug.

692
00:57:14,000 --> 00:57:20,000
Why? You think it's what they could have done as well. They could have made it on the fringes of the universe.

693
00:57:20,000 --> 00:57:28,000
I think that 3D animated one is, what's it called, Prodigy. That feels like it's on the fringes of it.

694
00:57:28,000 --> 00:57:32,000
It's obviously part of it because of characters that are in it, because I know Janeway's in it,

695
00:57:32,000 --> 00:57:38,000
but it feels like it's just on the side as a thing, whereas this is slap bang right in the fucking middle.

696
00:57:38,000 --> 00:57:43,000
It's Star Trek Lite. It is in there. It talks about everything, crosses over everything,

697
00:57:43,000 --> 00:57:46,000
gets really involved. It covers everything. You're right.

698
00:57:46,000 --> 00:57:50,000
Prodigy is Star Trek Lite. It is Star Trek Diet version.

699
00:57:50,000 --> 00:57:56,000
The reason they've done that is because it's a good way to get people into Star Trek.

700
00:57:56,000 --> 00:58:02,000
You don't want to go full on Trek for someone that's never seen it before because honestly,

701
00:58:02,000 --> 00:58:04,000
I can see why it puts people off.

702
00:58:04,000 --> 00:58:06,000
Prodigy is where I'll show T first.

703
00:58:06,000 --> 00:58:07,000
Absolutely.

704
00:58:07,000 --> 00:58:14,000
When he gets to a point of asking me what I like and I tell him I really enjoy sci-fi and I like Star Trek,

705
00:58:14,000 --> 00:58:18,000
I think I'll show him Prodigy first and we'll watch it together. That's what I think I'll do.

706
00:58:18,000 --> 00:58:21,000
100% and that's a good thing to do.

707
00:58:21,000 --> 00:58:23,000
Because it'll get him into Star Wars too.

708
00:58:23,000 --> 00:58:26,000
That's it. 100%. Star Wars all the way.

709
00:58:26,000 --> 00:58:28,000
Throwback to that Prodigy episode.

710
00:58:28,000 --> 00:58:32,000
Definitely throwback. That's the point. They were very clever with that.

711
00:58:32,000 --> 00:58:39,000
Even though they terminated that start with, it's a good entry point for people that aren't unwilling to watch sci-fi,

712
00:58:39,000 --> 00:58:43,000
but maybe unwilling to watch something that they've been told is very much,

713
00:58:43,000 --> 00:58:49,000
oh no, Star Trek is very much geeks and you've got to be a specific person to watch Star Trek.

714
00:58:49,000 --> 00:58:51,000
We're proof that you don't have to be. Jesus.

715
00:58:51,000 --> 00:58:56,000
Two people very, very different to what most people consider the standard Trekking.

716
00:58:56,000 --> 00:58:59,000
Let's face it, we still have that over everyone's head.

717
00:58:59,000 --> 00:59:03,000
If you say you're a Trekking, most people think you've probably got NHS standard glasses,

718
00:59:03,000 --> 00:59:10,000
the old bottle bottom ones. You've got zits, greasy hair and probably a 4XL top.

719
00:59:10,000 --> 00:59:16,000
That's what people tend to think. It's mean, it's not true, but it's the generic standard people have.

720
00:59:16,000 --> 00:59:19,000
Same with Star Wars. Most Star Wars people get labeled that.

721
00:59:19,000 --> 00:59:24,000
Prodigy gets away from that by being fun and slightly different.

722
00:59:24,000 --> 00:59:28,000
Then you can anchor into, well, what are you going to go from Prodigy?

723
00:59:28,000 --> 00:59:30,000
Obviously you can't go to Lower Decks if they're a kid,

724
00:59:30,000 --> 00:59:35,000
but maybe you're going to show them a couple of your favorite episodes of Next Gen,

725
00:59:35,000 --> 00:59:39,000
maybe Deep Space Nine if they're more into the darker side of things,

726
00:59:39,000 --> 00:59:41,000
or maybe you go straight into Voyager. I don't know,

727
00:59:41,000 --> 00:59:44,000
but there's ways that you can go and there's all different Star Treks

728
00:59:44,000 --> 00:59:48,000
for different people's appreciation to different things.

729
00:59:48,000 --> 00:59:51,000
Lower Decks, like you said, covers it all.

730
00:59:51,000 --> 00:59:54,000
I feel like people who watch Star Trek would be like,

731
00:59:54,000 --> 00:59:58,000
oh, you know what, I like Deep Space Nine, but I don't like this one, or I like Voyager.

732
00:59:58,000 --> 01:00:00,000
Like I'll say, I like Voyager, but I don't like Deep Space Nine,

733
01:00:00,000 --> 01:00:04,000
or I like the original series. I never got into Next Gen. I like this one.

734
01:00:04,000 --> 01:00:06,000
I don't think anyone did get into Next Gen,

735
01:00:06,000 --> 01:00:11,000
but I think everyone as a collective Star Trek fan likes Lower Decks.

736
01:00:11,000 --> 01:00:15,000
I don't really have not seen people say they don't like it.

737
01:00:15,000 --> 01:00:19,000
This was atrocious. It's Gene Rodmery will be rolling in his grave.

738
01:00:19,000 --> 01:00:21,000
No one is saying it from what I've seen.

739
01:00:21,000 --> 01:00:27,000
No, I've not seen that. And for good reason, because it's solid. It's brilliant.

740
01:00:27,000 --> 01:00:33,000
It's safe. That's the thing. Just like every other Star Trek for me,

741
01:00:33,000 --> 01:00:36,000
I can sit down and watch Lower Decks and know what's coming,

742
01:00:36,000 --> 01:00:38,000
and it's going to really cheer me up.

743
01:00:38,000 --> 01:00:41,000
I always come away in such a good mood after watching Lower Decks.

744
01:00:41,000 --> 01:00:48,000
Yeah. I go back to it again. We went to that thing, and it was by Paramount,

745
01:00:48,000 --> 01:00:52,000
and they were going on about how we were watching these trails on the screen,

746
01:00:52,000 --> 01:00:57,000
saying how important Star Trek animation was to them, how amazing the thing was.

747
01:00:57,000 --> 01:00:59,000
And then they do a big dump on it.

748
01:00:59,000 --> 01:01:02,000
Less than a year later, they're saying it is not going to be any more of that.

749
01:01:02,000 --> 01:01:05,000
What the fuck is this then?

750
01:01:05,000 --> 01:01:09,000
Yeah. Disgraceful. Outtally, utterly disgraceful.

751
01:01:09,000 --> 01:01:12,000
But anyway, that about us out of the way. This is a fucking brilliant episode.

752
01:01:12,000 --> 01:01:13,000
100%.

753
01:01:13,000 --> 01:01:15,000
I mean, every episode is good. There are some better than others,

754
01:01:15,000 --> 01:01:18,000
but this one, Ice Cretus.

755
01:01:18,000 --> 01:01:21,000
Not that I've seen the rest of the series, but I'd say right now,

756
01:01:21,000 --> 01:01:24,000
this is the episode to watch a series for.

757
01:01:24,000 --> 01:01:27,000
If I was going to... Like we said at the very beginning,

758
01:01:27,000 --> 01:01:31,000
when we were talking about this on the main show, on the variety show,

759
01:01:31,000 --> 01:01:35,000
season one was amazing. Season two was better. Three was a little bit better.

760
01:01:35,000 --> 01:01:37,000
Four is just as good as three.

761
01:01:37,000 --> 01:01:38,000
Yeah.

762
01:01:38,000 --> 01:01:41,000
I wouldn't go and say they improved. I think they just kept it.

763
01:01:41,000 --> 01:01:43,000
They hit a peak and it stayed consistent.

764
01:01:43,000 --> 01:01:46,000
Yeah. So that's the only concern I have for season five.

765
01:01:46,000 --> 01:01:49,000
When they wrote it, did they know they were writing the last one?

766
01:01:49,000 --> 01:01:53,000
From my understanding, they'd hoped there was going to be seven series.

767
01:01:53,000 --> 01:01:57,000
Which is a fairly generic thing for Star Trek. Most have seven series.

768
01:01:57,000 --> 01:02:02,000
So am I expecting that they're going to be rushing some storyline,

769
01:02:02,000 --> 01:02:06,000
which they don't need to do because they just don't need to do that?

770
01:02:06,000 --> 01:02:07,000
Yeah.

771
01:02:07,000 --> 01:02:09,000
What are they going to do with the end of it?

772
01:02:09,000 --> 01:02:12,000
Are they going to throw all of their fun bits into this

773
01:02:12,000 --> 01:02:15,000
and it's going to be absolutely wonderful, end on a massive high,

774
01:02:15,000 --> 01:02:17,000
and then Netflix will come back with season six.

775
01:02:17,000 --> 01:02:20,000
It will not be any good because they've put all their ideas into five.

776
01:02:20,000 --> 01:02:26,000
And that's the worry, isn't it? And change of writers and change of direction.

777
01:02:26,000 --> 01:02:27,000
Yeah.

778
01:02:27,000 --> 01:02:29,000
Did they kill someone off?

779
01:02:29,000 --> 01:02:36,000
I wouldn't be surprised if after this we see another sci-fi cartoon come out,

780
01:02:36,000 --> 01:02:39,000
which is not Star Trek, and it's got these guys doing it.

781
01:02:39,000 --> 01:02:40,000
Wouldn't surprise me.

782
01:02:40,000 --> 01:02:43,000
Imagine an Orville doing a Lower Decks.

783
01:02:43,000 --> 01:02:46,000
I mean, Orville is kind of a live action Lower Decks almost.

784
01:02:46,000 --> 01:02:48,000
Realistically it is.

785
01:02:48,000 --> 01:02:50,000
But, you know, something like that.

786
01:02:50,000 --> 01:02:51,000
Yeah, I agree.

787
01:02:51,000 --> 01:02:53,000
Really good. Everyone should watch it.

788
01:02:53,000 --> 01:02:54,000
Save Lower Decks.

789
01:02:58,000 --> 01:03:00,000
Okay, so everyone's homework.

790
01:03:00,000 --> 01:03:05,000
Season one, episode 16 of Voyager Learning Curve.

791
01:03:05,000 --> 01:03:07,000
And it is the Neelix cheese.

792
01:03:07,000 --> 01:03:08,000
It is the Neelix cheese.

793
01:03:08,000 --> 01:03:11,000
So we can all together learn all about the Neelix cheese

794
01:03:11,000 --> 01:03:14,000
and how it got involved in this Lower Decks episode.

795
01:03:14,000 --> 01:03:15,000
Delicious.

796
01:03:20,000 --> 01:03:22,000
Command functions are offline.

797
01:03:23,000 --> 01:03:27,000
I still haven't learnt the words.

798
01:03:27,000 --> 01:03:28,000
You can do it.

799
01:03:28,000 --> 01:03:30,000
Come help me, TJ, please.

800
01:03:31,000 --> 01:03:32,000
Okay.

801
01:03:32,000 --> 01:03:36,000
If you'd like to find out more about Studio Channel 84 as a network,

802
01:03:36,000 --> 01:03:38,000
you can head to channel84.co.uk.

803
01:03:38,000 --> 01:03:40,000
If you want to find out more about the Untitled Trek Show,

804
01:03:40,000 --> 01:03:44,000
go to channel84.co.uk and select Shows and Untitled Trek Show.

805
01:03:44,000 --> 01:03:46,000
There you'll find out about the episodes.

806
01:03:46,000 --> 01:03:48,000
You'll find out about the USS Shit Show.

807
01:03:48,000 --> 01:03:50,000
And you will find all our social media links.

808
01:03:50,000 --> 01:03:56,000
That includes Twitter, AKA X, Facebook, Instagram, Blue Sky, you name it.

809
01:03:56,000 --> 01:03:57,000
We're on there.

810
01:03:57,000 --> 01:04:01,000
You can also email Rob at rob at channel84.co.uk.

811
01:04:01,000 --> 01:04:06,000
You can email me on TJ at channel84.co.uk.

812
01:04:06,000 --> 01:04:09,000
Or if you'd like to speak to both of us at exactly the same time,

813
01:04:09,000 --> 01:04:10,000
you can do podcasts.

814
01:04:10,000 --> 01:04:11,000
That's plural.

815
01:04:11,000 --> 01:04:14,000
Podcasts at channel84.co.uk.

816
01:04:14,000 --> 01:04:19,000
We are part of the Studio Channel 84 Indie Podcast Support Network.

817
01:04:19,000 --> 01:04:22,000
We're a little network of local podcasts, not local podcasts,

818
01:04:22,000 --> 01:04:25,000
but indie podcasts who like helping each other out.

819
01:04:25,000 --> 01:04:27,000
And that includes the Variety Show podcast,

820
01:04:27,000 --> 01:04:31,000
random stuff based on nostalgia parenting and everything else,

821
01:04:31,000 --> 01:04:34,000
Lightly Used, which looks at charity shop tats,

822
01:04:34,000 --> 01:04:36,000
and also Who Takes the Socks Off,

823
01:04:36,000 --> 01:04:42,000
which basically think of shows like QI or No Such Thing as a Fish.

824
01:04:42,000 --> 01:04:43,000
That's what they are.

825
01:04:43,000 --> 01:04:47,000
They answer the questions that you didn't know you wanted an answer to.

826
01:04:47,000 --> 01:04:49,000
We are all aiming to be a little bit comedy,

827
01:04:49,000 --> 01:04:54,000
and you can find us on the Indie Support Network known as Studio Channel 84.

828
01:04:54,000 --> 01:04:55,000
Thanks, everyone.

829
01:04:55,000 --> 01:04:58,000
I hope you have enjoyed what you've heard so far of The Shit Show,

830
01:04:58,000 --> 01:05:00,000
and there's more at the end.

831
01:05:00,000 --> 01:05:03,000
Keep listening all the way up to the beeps.

832
01:05:03,000 --> 01:05:04,000
Yeah, don't press stop.

833
01:05:04,000 --> 01:05:06,000
No fast forwarding.

834
01:05:06,000 --> 01:05:07,000
You listen.

835
01:05:07,000 --> 01:05:11,000
And there might be a little surprise for you as well right at the very end.

836
01:05:11,000 --> 01:05:13,000
And then that's it for it.

837
01:05:13,000 --> 01:05:16,000
As a penultimate episode,

838
01:05:16,000 --> 01:05:21,000
the final season one episode of Shit Show is Christmas,

839
01:05:21,000 --> 01:05:25,000
and we've got a really good idea if it comes through.

840
01:05:25,000 --> 01:05:26,000
Ho, ho, ho.

841
01:05:26,000 --> 01:05:28,000
We'll see how it goes.

842
01:05:28,000 --> 01:05:29,000
Ho, ho, ho.

843
01:05:29,000 --> 01:05:34,000
And then I'm going to do my best to get a Trek Relay in,

844
01:05:34,000 --> 01:05:37,000
but I don't think it's going to happen because the Christmas one's going to take too long.

845
01:05:37,000 --> 01:05:38,000
Yeah, fair enough.

846
01:05:38,000 --> 01:05:42,000
So then I'll do a few Trek Relays before The Shit Show comes back.

847
01:05:42,000 --> 01:05:43,000
Sounds good to me.

848
01:05:43,000 --> 01:05:45,000
Give my creativity a rest on that.

849
01:05:45,000 --> 01:05:46,000
Good idea.

850
01:05:46,000 --> 01:05:47,000
Thank you, everyone.

851
01:05:47,000 --> 01:05:48,000
You deserve the rest.

852
01:05:48,000 --> 01:05:49,000
Thank you so much.

853
01:05:49,000 --> 01:05:50,000
Love you.

854
01:05:50,000 --> 01:05:51,000
Bye bye.

855
01:05:51,000 --> 01:05:53,000
Oh, apparently they're sniffer dogs.

856
01:06:07,000 --> 01:06:09,000
All right, mate, what's wrong?

857
01:06:09,000 --> 01:06:11,000
Don't normally call this late.

858
01:06:11,000 --> 01:06:13,000
I know you like your beauty sleep.

859
01:06:13,000 --> 01:06:15,000
Oh, yeah, I bet you think I need it.

860
01:06:15,000 --> 01:06:21,000
Uh, I wasn't going to say that, but you do sound a bit cranky.

861
01:06:21,000 --> 01:06:22,000
Oh, cranky am I?

862
01:06:22,000 --> 01:06:25,000
Sure I'm not just a wanker, or am I both?

863
01:06:25,000 --> 01:06:26,000
Okay.

864
01:06:26,000 --> 01:06:27,000
Well?

865
01:06:27,000 --> 01:06:28,000
Uh.

866
01:06:28,000 --> 01:06:30,000
Well, am I a wanker?

867
01:06:30,000 --> 01:06:31,000
Do you wank?

868
01:06:31,000 --> 01:06:32,000
Don't we all?

869
01:06:32,000 --> 01:06:35,000
Then yes, I guess by definition you are.

870
01:06:35,000 --> 01:06:39,000
See, I told you so.

871
01:06:39,000 --> 01:06:42,000
He hates you.

872
01:06:42,000 --> 01:06:44,000
You hate me, don't you?

873
01:06:44,000 --> 01:06:46,000
No, not at all.

874
01:06:46,000 --> 01:06:47,000
Liar!

875
01:06:47,000 --> 01:06:49,000
Mate, what's going on?

876
01:06:49,000 --> 01:06:52,000
You think I'm not good enough for that promotion, don't you?

877
01:06:52,000 --> 01:06:54,000
Where is this coming from?

878
01:06:54,000 --> 01:06:56,000
Mate, you're going to be grey.

879
01:06:56,000 --> 01:06:59,000
He's lying.

880
01:06:59,000 --> 01:07:00,000
You're lying.

881
01:07:00,000 --> 01:07:02,000
Dude, I'm not.

882
01:07:02,000 --> 01:07:04,000
You're scaring me now, come on.

883
01:07:04,000 --> 01:07:08,000
He wants it for himself.

884
01:07:08,000 --> 01:07:09,000
You want it for yourself.

885
01:07:09,000 --> 01:07:13,000
I'd be lying if I said I didn't want to move up a rut or two, but

886
01:07:13,000 --> 01:07:16,000
we aren't even going for the same positions.

887
01:07:16,000 --> 01:07:20,000
Liar!

888
01:07:20,000 --> 01:07:24,000
He's grabbing something.

889
01:07:24,000 --> 01:07:25,000
What are you grabbing?

890
01:07:25,000 --> 01:07:29,000
He's going to hit you.

891
01:07:29,000 --> 01:07:30,000
You're going to hit me?

892
01:07:30,000 --> 01:07:33,000
Well no, I just unpeded right for this bloody table.

893
01:07:33,000 --> 01:07:34,000
Liar!

894
01:07:34,000 --> 01:07:36,000
Get him!

895
01:07:36,000 --> 01:07:37,000
What?

896
01:07:37,000 --> 01:07:38,000
Let go!

897
01:07:38,000 --> 01:07:40,000
Fuck me, Ostrand!

898
01:07:40,000 --> 01:07:42,000
Let go!

899
01:07:42,000 --> 01:07:45,000
He wants to kill you.

900
01:07:45,000 --> 01:07:48,000
You want me to kill you, don't you?

901
01:07:48,000 --> 01:07:50,000
What?

902
01:07:50,000 --> 01:07:58,000
I kill you first.

903
01:07:58,000 --> 01:07:59,000
Tom, get back!

904
01:07:59,000 --> 01:08:04,000
What the fuck's happening?

905
01:08:04,000 --> 01:08:06,000
What's happening?

906
01:08:06,000 --> 01:08:07,000
Help me!

907
01:08:07,000 --> 01:08:10,000
I can't control!

908
01:08:10,000 --> 01:08:20,000
Fucking die!

909
01:08:20,000 --> 01:08:22,000
Hello, hello there little guy.

910
01:08:22,000 --> 01:08:25,000
Rob, Rob, what's happening?

911
01:08:25,000 --> 01:08:27,000
I can't stop it Tom, I'm sorry.

912
01:08:27,000 --> 01:08:28,000
I'm sorry.

913
01:08:28,000 --> 01:08:38,000
Fucking die!

914
01:08:38,000 --> 01:08:41,000
All yours buddy.

915
01:08:41,000 --> 01:08:46,000
Go get him.

916
01:08:46,000 --> 01:08:48,000
No!

917
01:08:48,000 --> 01:08:59,000
Tom, finish me!

918
01:08:59,000 --> 01:09:04,000
Time to take out the trash.

919
01:09:04,000 --> 01:09:06,000
Airlock manual override confirmed.

920
01:09:06,000 --> 01:09:19,000
Automatic personnel safety measures enabled.

921
01:09:19,000 --> 01:09:23,000
Closing airlock, re-pressurizing cargo bay.

922
01:09:23,000 --> 01:09:25,000
Tom?

923
01:09:25,000 --> 01:09:26,000
I'm so sorry.

924
01:09:26,000 --> 01:09:28,000
I'm so sorry, I couldn't control it.

925
01:09:28,000 --> 01:09:32,000
It wasn't me Tom, it wasn't me.

926
01:09:32,000 --> 01:09:33,000
It's okay.

927
01:09:33,000 --> 01:09:39,000
It's okay.

928
01:09:39,000 --> 01:09:42,000
Tom, Tom, speak to me, are you okay?

929
01:09:42,000 --> 01:09:46,000
Speak to me, are you okay?

930
01:09:46,000 --> 01:09:49,000
Brother, brother.

931
01:09:49,000 --> 01:09:50,000
Oh no.

932
01:09:50,000 --> 01:09:56,000
Tom, Tom, I'm sorry.

933
01:09:56,000 --> 01:10:06,000
I'm sorry.

934
01:10:26,000 --> 01:10:50,000
I'm sorry.

935
01:10:50,000 --> 01:10:52,000
Data pad load complete.

936
01:10:52,000 --> 01:10:56,000
Identity check confirmed, beginning message playback.

937
01:10:56,000 --> 01:11:07,000
Your failure to both secure the anomaly and safeguard the members of your SI team has resulted in an activation of Section 31's deletion protocol.

938
01:11:07,000 --> 01:11:14,000
Your connection with Starfleet Intelligence and that of your agents have been stricken from all accessible databases.

939
01:11:14,000 --> 01:11:23,000
You have been disavowed. Agent Court, you will not fail us again. Your quarters will self-destruct immediately.

940
01:11:23,000 --> 01:11:45,000
Oh no.

941
01:11:45,000 --> 01:11:53,000
Thank you for listening to the Untitled Trek Show. This station is now shutting down and will be back in two weeks.

942
01:11:53,000 --> 01:12:04,000
May the Force live long and prosper inside of you.

943
01:12:04,000 --> 01:12:08,000
Where the fuck is that useless captain?

944
01:12:08,000 --> 01:12:18,000
Tom, we can't wait any longer. They are two hours late for rendezvous. We have to assume something has gone wrong. If the anomaly hasn't been acquired, we must act.

945
01:12:18,000 --> 01:12:20,000
I know, I know.

946
01:12:20,000 --> 01:12:21,000
Karen.

947
01:12:21,000 --> 01:12:24,000
Fleet Admiral Monk, what are you doing here?

948
01:12:24,000 --> 01:12:32,000
You don't know, do you? Typical. Just another fray in an ever growing list, Karen. Agents, you are dismissed. Karen, walk with me.

949
01:12:32,000 --> 01:12:34,000
What's going on?

950
01:12:34,000 --> 01:12:42,000
Starfleet Intelligence have metrified an incident on the USS Shitshare involving an anomaly. It appeared to possess one of the crew. Said crew member then went on a killing spree.

951
01:12:42,000 --> 01:12:44,000
What?

952
01:12:44,000 --> 01:12:49,000
Whilst we aren't aware of the full extent of the damage, we do know that anomaly was eventually contained and destroyed.

953
01:12:49,000 --> 01:12:51,000
Destroyed how?

954
01:12:51,000 --> 01:12:56,000
Something to do with Roombas. But that is none of your concern. It appears to be above your pay grade.

955
01:12:56,000 --> 01:13:00,000
Above my pay grade? But Mum, I'm an Admiral.

956
01:13:00,000 --> 01:13:08,000
You were an Admiral. You have been stricken that rank and all of its privileges. You, Karen, are a Captain once more.

957
01:13:08,000 --> 01:13:09,000
Mum! But!

958
01:13:09,000 --> 01:13:14,000
No buts, Captain. This is your last chance of redemption. Fail again and your career in Starfleet is finished.

959
01:13:14,000 --> 01:13:19,000
Mum, may I ask, what's my, erm...

960
01:13:19,000 --> 01:13:20,000
What's my posting?

961
01:13:20,000 --> 01:13:22,000
The shit show, Karen.

962
01:13:22,000 --> 01:13:24,000
What about Captain Telfer?

963
01:13:24,000 --> 01:13:30,000
Don't worry about him. His fair years have been dealt with more... privately.

964
01:13:30,000 --> 01:13:42,000
Explosion detected on the USS Shit Show. Multiple decks venting atmosphere. Escape pods launched. Station impact defences activated and holding.

965
01:13:42,000 --> 01:13:44,000
Looks like you'd best get started.

966
01:13:44,000 --> 01:14:00,000
Oh, God.

967
01:14:15,000 --> 01:14:24,000
It's that seasonal time in the far distant future where a friendship was born, but was destroyed by a creature.

968
01:14:24,000 --> 01:14:32,000
A creature of smoke or a creature of ambition. How can you tell? Just another failed mission.

969
01:14:32,000 --> 01:14:36,000
It's the time for your family. A time for your friends.

970
01:14:36,000 --> 01:14:47,000
But in this Star Trek story, is that how it ends? A lifetime of toil for our lower decks pair, but treason and selfishness filled our winter's air.

971
01:14:47,000 --> 01:14:57,000
On the eve of Trek Christmas, we find our lonely Rob having nightmares and visions. What an absolute knob.

972
01:14:57,000 --> 01:15:06,000
A Christmas shit show coming to a podcast player near you this festive season.