1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:03,000 Well, here we are. It finally happened. 2 00:00:03,500 --> 00:00:05,500 Rob managed to fuck something up. 3 00:00:05,600 --> 00:00:08,500 I'm surprised it took him as long as it did, really. 4 00:00:08,800 --> 00:00:11,500 Twenty-two minutes have been lost to the void. 5 00:00:11,700 --> 00:00:14,300 He's done his best to make something of this mess. 6 00:00:14,600 --> 00:00:16,900 So let's not be too harsh on him, eh? 7 00:00:17,300 --> 00:00:19,300 At least, not to his face. 8 00:00:19,300 --> 00:00:29,300 Let's keep it to Twitter. 9 00:00:49,380 --> 00:00:51,260 Accept it. 10 00:00:51,260 --> 00:01:19,820 Captain's log. Star date 246. For fuck's sake who cares. I have to admit the 11 00:01:19,820 --> 00:01:23,340 pressures of recent events on board have been getting the better of me. The 12 00:01:23,340 --> 00:01:27,460 teleporter incidents, Ferengi boarding parties, the warp call having a fucking 13 00:01:27,460 --> 00:01:31,980 baby and that multi-dimensional squid materializing in the replicator in the 14 00:01:31,980 --> 00:01:36,940 canteen last week. I mean what the fuck was that all about? If it wasn't for 15 00:01:36,940 --> 00:01:44,020 Wilt and those holonovels I'd have gone insane. Arguably some are a bit niche but 16 00:01:44,020 --> 00:01:51,460 nonetheless much appreciated. Not that I have much time to enjoy them. The paperwork. 17 00:01:51,460 --> 00:01:56,780 To some of being inundated would be an understatement. Who'd have known that the 18 00:01:56,780 --> 00:02:02,060 captain would need to complete no less than 32 bloody requisition logs and 28 19 00:02:02,060 --> 00:02:06,580 long stay parking compliance forms just to dock at Deep Space Nine for a few 20 00:02:06,580 --> 00:02:12,040 weeks. Surely this is what the crew are here for and after all of this I still 21 00:02:12,040 --> 00:02:16,300 only have five minute window to get the Starship in place and fully docked. Else 22 00:02:16,300 --> 00:02:19,740 we missed a window and we have to wait a whole extra cycle for another opening. 23 00:02:19,740 --> 00:02:24,340 God help me if we are late. Admiral Chesters has got a right to be in a 24 00:02:24,340 --> 00:02:29,740 vagina about this fucking anomaly. Computer pause log rewind five seconds 25 00:02:29,740 --> 00:02:35,140 and resume recording. God help me if we are late. Admiral Chesters is going 26 00:02:35,140 --> 00:02:38,260 gunning for me at the moment and it's like Aunt Irma visiting around the 27 00:02:38,260 --> 00:02:44,740 clock. No shit. Wait. Computer pause log rewind five seconds resume recording. 28 00:02:44,740 --> 00:02:50,220 God help me if we are late. Admiral Chesters is right big. 29 00:02:52,340 --> 00:02:57,260 Containment breach. All security personnel to Deck 13. All non-essential 30 00:02:57,260 --> 00:03:00,420 staff please return to your quarters until further notice. 31 00:03:00,420 --> 00:03:23,380 Shit. 32 00:03:23,380 --> 00:03:28,980 Shit. Fuck you scared me. Sorry mate. What are you up to in such a hurry? I thought you were on 33 00:03:28,980 --> 00:03:35,460 guard duty. I am but I've got this stupid counselling session. What? Counselling 34 00:03:35,460 --> 00:03:42,380 session. I've got one. Oh right. Tend to good monster. That's the one. Yeah this is it. 35 00:03:42,380 --> 00:03:45,380 See the funny thing about multi-dimensional beings and their 36 00:03:45,380 --> 00:03:49,660 capacity to traverse space time. Simon sorry mate. I'm in a rush. You know 37 00:03:49,660 --> 00:03:53,660 what the fucking counter can be like if you aren't on time. Ah yeah of course. 38 00:03:53,660 --> 00:04:10,660 Yeah catch you later. 39 00:04:23,660 --> 00:04:33,660 This is interesting. What are you doing? Just a little bit of fucking around. 40 00:04:33,660 --> 00:04:42,660 We're gonna have lots of fun together tonight. Yes. Getting a little creepy. 41 00:04:42,660 --> 00:04:56,660 Containment breach. All security personnel to Deck 13. All non-essential staff please return to your quarters until further notice. 42 00:04:56,660 --> 00:05:17,660 Oh bollocks. 43 00:05:17,660 --> 00:05:22,660 He's going. Yeah it is. Look there's a red dot. Hang on it's moving up your chest. 44 00:05:22,660 --> 00:05:33,660 It's on your forehead. Oh my god it's a sniper. Hiya. Hello. How's it going? Yeah not bad. How are you doing? I'm alright. It's been such a long time since I saw you. 45 00:05:33,660 --> 00:05:42,660 Oh now it's been so long. I spent the other day in a field with some random guy. Yeah well if you're gonna go and do those things I hope you weren't protected. 46 00:05:42,660 --> 00:05:51,660 Machete, shotgun. I do now have. No don't think that you filthy fuckers. I do now have some weird gun coming out of my leg so. 47 00:05:51,660 --> 00:06:04,660 Nice. So yeah breaking the fourth wall here. It's not been long since we last recorded. No and that's mainly because I forgot to say I'm going on holiday next week when we would normally record this. 48 00:06:04,660 --> 00:06:18,660 Which is fine for people to know because this episode will come out when you're home. It will. So how was your holiday TJ? It was really nice. I had fish and chips on the beach. The kids really enjoyed it and no one drowned. 49 00:06:18,660 --> 00:06:30,660 I was about to say none of that happened and then you edited that. I really hope no one drowned. So where are you going? We are going down to Charmouth which is down in Dorset. It's near Lyme Regis. 50 00:06:30,660 --> 00:06:45,660 We went to Lyme Regis last year but we like Dorset as an area. Jim used to have family, well does have family down there and we used to go down for the past four or five years and it's just such a lovely quaint little kind of seaside area we thought we'd stay going. 51 00:06:45,660 --> 00:07:05,660 Now we usually stay in Bridport and that's just super expensive. That's where they filmed Broadchurch. Yeah. And it's beautiful there. But we then stayed at Lyme Regis last year and then this year we found Charmouth which is just next to Lyme Regis and we found a holiday camp. 52 00:07:05,660 --> 00:07:18,660 You know the sort of pitch up your caravan and stop but they'd got two luxury apartments and they'd got the kind of wooden apartments that they've started building everywhere that are really kind of posh glamping sort of stuff. 53 00:07:18,660 --> 00:07:34,660 But we've rented out one of the luxury apartments as they call it and it's not a sleep six. It's got a full kitchen in it. That's all I need. We're quite happy and it was actually cheap. We were going for five days and I think it was 300 odd. 54 00:07:34,660 --> 00:07:49,660 Oh that's good isn't it. Well for Dorset being right on the seafront it's really good. In the school holidays. In the school holidays. Yeah absolutely brilliant pricing so we thought no let's do it. Hopefully the weather's good for you next week. 55 00:07:49,660 --> 00:08:00,660 Yeah I'm hoping it's not going to be as hot as it's been this week. I'm hoping it's going to be like oh sorry last week. I'm hoping it was like 20 21 degrees. I can't remember. 56 00:08:00,660 --> 00:08:04,660 Time you why me stuff. Time you why me. 57 00:08:04,660 --> 00:08:17,660 Right so before we start talking about what we have I haven't watched. Slight change up this week. It is. So where we would normally talk about an episode and go all the way from beginning to end and make comments as we go through. 58 00:08:17,660 --> 00:08:28,660 I think I want to just try just talking about it in general. Because then we have that's the dishwasher if anyone can hear that. I was going to say I thought it was the dog erupting for a moment. What the hell is he doing? 59 00:08:28,660 --> 00:08:36,660 So this is the dishwasher draining. I've got a new segment which I'll talk about and we'll see how that goes. But first things first TJ. 60 00:08:36,660 --> 00:08:37,660 Yes. 61 00:08:37,660 --> 00:08:39,660 In the last how many days has it been? Three days? 62 00:08:39,660 --> 00:08:41,660 Well we recorded two days ago. 63 00:08:41,660 --> 00:08:44,660 Two days ago. Have you watched any sci-fi in the last two days? 64 00:08:44,660 --> 00:08:51,660 Yeah I have actually. I started watching and I'll stick with started because I'm definitely not going back to finish it. 65 00:08:51,660 --> 00:08:52,660 Oh no. 66 00:08:52,660 --> 00:08:55,660 Robocop 3. I forgot how bad that film is. 67 00:08:55,660 --> 00:08:57,660 Robocop 3. 68 00:08:57,660 --> 00:08:59,660 Robocop 3. 69 00:08:59,660 --> 00:09:01,660 Don't know if I've ever seen it. 70 00:09:01,660 --> 00:09:20,660 So it's not the original Robocop. It's for all purposes and manners it is Robocop but it's a different actor. And they used the animatronic from I think it's Robocop 2. They had a really high quality animatronic made and they just reuse it in the third one. 71 00:09:20,660 --> 00:09:22,660 Is this 80s or 90s? 72 00:09:22,660 --> 00:09:31,660 I've got to say Robocop 3 has got to be 90s surely. I reckon it's going to be I'm just going to dial it up now while we are... 73 00:09:31,660 --> 00:09:33,660 Because I never saw the remake. 74 00:09:33,660 --> 00:09:45,660 So the remake it gets slagged off but you know what it's not terrible. The problem is you really need to neglect the fact that Robocop 1 exists to enjoy the remake. 75 00:09:45,660 --> 00:09:58,660 But if you were showing it to let's say T in oh I don't know 12 years time because it's a 15 certificate and you hadn't shown him the first Robocop he'd really enjoy this. 76 00:09:58,660 --> 00:10:12,660 The problem is is the modern Robocop basically loses all of the darkness and satire that the original Robocop has. It's basically just been made into a 15 teeny bopper action film. 77 00:10:12,660 --> 00:10:19,660 There's one good dark scene when he kind of has revealed what body parts he has left. 78 00:10:19,660 --> 00:10:20,660 Right. 79 00:10:20,660 --> 00:10:21,660 But the rest of it's... 80 00:10:21,660 --> 00:10:22,660 Has he got a penis? 81 00:10:22,660 --> 00:10:34,660 He's got no penis. And that's funny enough me and a mate once joked that if we were to do a podcast we were going to talk about Robocop and we were going to where's my penis? What have you done with my penis? Please give me back my penis. 82 00:10:34,660 --> 00:10:46,660 1993 I was right with Robocop 3 bloody hell. Yeah so it's Robert John Burke who plays Robocop and the only time you see Robocop without his helmet is when it's the animatronic and it's just dire. 83 00:10:46,660 --> 00:10:59,660 It's basically OCP has been bought out by a Japanese company. They are pushing ahead with Delta City and they are now evicting people by force and they've paid militants to come and do it for them. 84 00:10:59,660 --> 00:11:14,660 And Robocop stands up against them. Lewis gets shot and killed. And then he decides to join the evictees side, the terrorist organisation side. It's terrible. It's really bad. I haven't even got to the jump hack section yet. 85 00:11:14,660 --> 00:11:19,660 And that's probably the best part of the film. Yeah. Yeah. Not good. 86 00:11:19,660 --> 00:11:22,660 I've never seen it. Probably won't ever. 87 00:11:22,660 --> 00:11:31,660 Made all the worst by the fact that I was watching it on Amazon Prime and 15 minutes in suddenly got an ad break. I forgot Prime now do this. 88 00:11:31,660 --> 00:11:40,660 I forgot they do that as well. We've been, because we're watching Supernatural still. I paid the £2.99 to remove the ads. 89 00:11:40,660 --> 00:11:46,660 Do they do that on the big premiere films as well or is it just the older films that no one cares? 90 00:11:46,660 --> 00:11:48,660 I haven't seen an ad. 91 00:11:48,660 --> 00:11:52,660 Fine. Okay. So maybe it is just like the really cheap older films that are sticking ads in. 92 00:11:52,660 --> 00:11:54,660 Why do you pay for you? It's a separate bit now. 93 00:11:54,660 --> 00:11:57,660 No, no, I'm not paying for the ad free. I refuse to. 94 00:11:57,660 --> 00:12:05,660 Yeah. I know it's not too much. I think it's £1.99. I did it because I knew we were watching Supernatural. I'm so against ads. I hate them so much. 95 00:12:05,660 --> 00:12:09,660 That's what we were streaming in the first bloody place. That's why I hated Terrestrial TV. 96 00:12:09,660 --> 00:12:10,660 Yeah. 97 00:12:10,660 --> 00:12:20,660 Oh dear. I'll keep an eye. I mean, we're not going to get rid of it because we use Prime for delivery almost every other day. So we get it with that. I don't care too much. 98 00:12:20,660 --> 00:12:24,660 But if I was paying for it as a dedicated service, I'd be so pissed. 99 00:12:24,660 --> 00:12:34,660 It's expensive if it's a dedicated service. I don't think you can just get Prime video on its own. I think you have to only get, but somewhere correct me. I think you have to get Prime. 100 00:12:34,660 --> 00:12:35,660 Oh, okay. 101 00:12:35,660 --> 00:12:38,660 I don't know that you can get just the streaming service. 102 00:12:38,660 --> 00:12:45,660 I'm still waiting for Amazon Prime to do a deal with Prime energy drinks. Get your Prime on Amazon Prime. 103 00:12:45,660 --> 00:12:49,660 They probably do sell them. They sell all the Hawkstone lager and stuff on Prime. 104 00:12:49,660 --> 00:12:56,660 Yeah, but I'm thinking about a dedicated deal. Get your Amazon Prime branded Prime now. 105 00:12:56,660 --> 00:12:57,660 Oh, a Prime Prime. 106 00:12:57,660 --> 00:13:01,660 A Prime Prime. Advertised by Optimus Prime. 107 00:13:01,660 --> 00:13:03,660 Optimus Prime, Prime Prime. 108 00:13:03,660 --> 00:13:04,660 On Primetime. 109 00:13:04,660 --> 00:13:11,660 Primetime Prime with a Prime Prime, Optimus Prime. Oh God, that sounds like hell, doesn't it? 110 00:13:11,660 --> 00:13:20,660 That's Robocop One. That is Robocop One from the 80s. That is exactly what it was like with the satirical jokes and the advertising. 111 00:13:20,660 --> 00:13:30,660 So Optimus Prime is in Robocop One. You're not allowed to fill faces. You're not allowed to fill faces. You have to make an audible noise to the face. Thank you. 112 00:13:30,660 --> 00:13:32,660 And watch Nomono wipe that out. 113 00:13:32,660 --> 00:13:36,660 Well, I've been watching. As I said, supernatural. 114 00:13:36,660 --> 00:13:38,660 Supernatural? 115 00:13:38,660 --> 00:13:39,660 Yeah. 116 00:13:39,660 --> 00:13:43,660 It's the 12th time you've said it. 117 00:13:43,660 --> 00:13:49,660 It was the Voyager episode where we kept saying that they say the fucking threshold. 118 00:13:49,660 --> 00:13:50,660 Threshold? Threshold? 119 00:13:50,660 --> 00:13:52,660 Supernatural. Supernatural. 120 00:13:52,660 --> 00:13:53,660 Supernatural. 121 00:13:53,660 --> 00:13:54,660 Optimus Prime. Supernatural. 122 00:13:54,660 --> 00:14:04,660 I'm afraid it's going to be that way for a long time because I think we did some math, didn't we? It's going to take me something like 300. There was some ridiculous number of weeks or something. 123 00:14:04,660 --> 00:14:10,660 Based on my average watch time per week. How long before I finish all of Supernatural? 124 00:14:10,660 --> 00:14:14,660 Yeah, it was something like 362 days, wasn't it? Or something like that. 125 00:14:14,660 --> 00:14:15,660 Yeah, something like that. 126 00:14:15,660 --> 00:14:16,660 Straight. 127 00:14:16,660 --> 00:14:24,660 This many hours of TV on average per week. These average episodes of 45 minutes. 128 00:14:24,660 --> 00:14:28,660 And obviously you have to then take away the time that we're using to watch Star Trek episodes. 129 00:14:28,660 --> 00:14:29,660 Yeah, exactly. 130 00:14:29,660 --> 00:14:31,660 That impacts on your daily viewing. 131 00:14:31,660 --> 00:14:41,660 And I've got to say, before we get too much into Picard, the quality of it was terrible on Prime. I've got bloody gigabit symmetric broadband here and I'm watching Picard. 132 00:14:41,660 --> 00:14:44,660 And it's supposed to be giving me the best quality. It looks fucking terrible. 133 00:14:44,660 --> 00:14:47,660 I just signed up to Paramount again. 134 00:14:47,660 --> 00:14:51,660 Oh, okay. No, sorry, it was Paramount, not Prime. Sorry, it was Paramount. 135 00:14:51,660 --> 00:14:52,660 Oh no, it was fine on mine. 136 00:14:52,660 --> 00:14:53,660 And it looked fucking terrible. 137 00:14:53,660 --> 00:14:54,660 That's weird. 138 00:14:54,660 --> 00:14:55,660 It was weird. 139 00:14:55,660 --> 00:14:56,660 No, it was fine on mine. 140 00:14:56,660 --> 00:15:00,660 Whenever it was Chateau Picard, it was like fucking the artifacts on this place. It's just ridiculous. 141 00:15:00,660 --> 00:15:03,660 It must have been a problem with Paramount at the time then, surely. 142 00:15:03,660 --> 00:15:06,660 Just everyone too busy watching Lower Jecks again. 143 00:15:06,660 --> 00:15:07,660 The heat got to it. 144 00:15:07,660 --> 00:15:16,660 Yeah, the heat got to Paramount's streaming service. Other than that, we've been watching the new Game of Thrones show called The House of Dragons. 145 00:15:16,660 --> 00:15:17,660 House of Dragons. 146 00:15:17,660 --> 00:15:20,660 Yeah, we had two episodes behind, so we've caught up with that. That's really good. 147 00:15:20,660 --> 00:15:28,660 I'm saying it's really good and then I'm putting a face and going, it's got a similar issue that the other Game of Thrones had. 148 00:15:28,660 --> 00:15:33,660 As much as I love all the intrigue, sometimes I just get to the point. 149 00:15:33,660 --> 00:15:38,660 The whole Game of Thrones joke of when are the dragons coming? When are the dragons coming? 150 00:15:38,660 --> 00:15:44,660 It's got all of that stuff in, but it's now been replaced with, you are so fucking stupid. 151 00:15:44,660 --> 00:15:49,660 We all know the answer. Everyone knows the answer. You just need to say it. 152 00:15:49,660 --> 00:15:58,660 Ten minutes of fucking spiel and side quests later and the Queen comes to the same realization the audience came to ten minutes ago. 153 00:15:58,660 --> 00:15:59,660 Right. 154 00:15:59,660 --> 00:16:04,660 It's having moments like that and there's only one episode left. I'm like, it's going to be a wicked episode. 155 00:16:04,660 --> 00:16:07,660 There's loads of dragons. It's going to be fighting. It's going to be cool. 156 00:16:07,660 --> 00:16:10,660 But yeah, sometimes it's like, get on with it. 157 00:16:10,660 --> 00:16:15,660 Enter authorization code. 158 00:16:15,660 --> 00:16:18,660 Potential new segment. 159 00:16:18,660 --> 00:16:30,660 So I have to say a massive thank you to Simon from Who Takes Souls Off for helping me with the Excel sheet. 160 00:16:30,660 --> 00:16:35,660 And then to my wife Miranda for then explaining to me what Simon actually did. 161 00:16:35,660 --> 00:16:42,660 Because Simon did it for me and had to go. And I was like, he said to me, I can do these other things. 162 00:16:42,660 --> 00:16:49,660 And we're out of the way from Miranda to finish the Zoom call. I was like, can you tell me what this does? What bits I need to change or look at? 163 00:16:49,660 --> 00:16:51,660 Anyway, and then you've showed me as well. 164 00:16:51,660 --> 00:16:54,660 So it all makes sense in the moment. 165 00:16:54,660 --> 00:17:06,660 What we're going to try and do is it's not going to be every single episode because it's going to be a fair amount of work for one of us or both of us to do every time. 166 00:17:06,660 --> 00:17:08,660 And I've already got the shit show to write. 167 00:17:08,660 --> 00:17:09,660 Yeah, fair enough. 168 00:17:09,660 --> 00:17:12,660 Well, probably I think it might be good to take it in turns. 169 00:17:12,660 --> 00:17:13,660 Yeah, okay. 170 00:17:13,660 --> 00:17:19,660 I'm happy to do the first one because you're going to holiday. So I'm happy to do the first one because I'm on holiday. 171 00:17:19,660 --> 00:17:20,660 Oh, okay. Then you can do it. 172 00:17:20,660 --> 00:17:28,660 I'm not working. I can when I'm sat on the beach, when I'm sat at home and all the kids are asleep and everything like that, I will happily have a go at doing this first one. 173 00:17:28,660 --> 00:17:30,660 So what is this thing? 174 00:17:30,660 --> 00:17:40,660 Well, this thing is I have got this form in front of me and in it when I press F9, it randomly generates a series of Star Trek. 175 00:17:40,660 --> 00:17:52,660 It will pick from I'll tell you the series is choosing from the original series, Next Generation, Voyager, DX-9, Picard, Lowdex, sorry, Prodigy, Discovery, Strange New Worlds and Enterprise. 176 00:17:52,660 --> 00:17:53,660 Okay. 177 00:17:53,660 --> 00:18:05,660 All of those series, it will randomly choose one of those and once it's chosen that, it will then pick two characters from that series, main characters, mostly bridge crew. 178 00:18:05,660 --> 00:18:15,660 And then after it's done that, it then picks a plot point and then it will pick an antagonist. 179 00:18:15,660 --> 00:18:18,660 Okay, that sounds good to me. I love the idea of this. 180 00:18:18,660 --> 00:18:25,660 And the idea being you then need to create your own Star Trek episode with that criteria. 181 00:18:25,660 --> 00:18:26,660 Yes. 182 00:18:26,660 --> 00:18:31,660 And also create a little skit based around it for us both to do that. 183 00:18:31,660 --> 00:18:35,660 Okay, so we're going to create a skit or two skits or whatever we decide. 184 00:18:35,660 --> 00:18:37,660 Whatever the person writing it wants to do. 185 00:18:37,660 --> 00:18:47,660 Of scenes from that episode and then otherwise it's going to be a real kind of storyboard version of events for that episode. 186 00:18:47,660 --> 00:18:48,660 I think it's fair to say, yeah? 187 00:18:48,660 --> 00:18:49,660 Yeah. 188 00:18:49,660 --> 00:18:53,660 Awesome. I love it. Go on then. Press F9 and generate me. 189 00:18:53,660 --> 00:18:54,660 Do you want to press F9? 190 00:18:54,660 --> 00:19:00,660 No, no, I will let you press my F9. 191 00:19:00,660 --> 00:19:02,660 The series is the next generation. 192 00:19:02,660 --> 00:19:04,660 Okay, TNG. 193 00:19:04,660 --> 00:19:08,660 Funny enough, the main character is Jean-Luc with a sub character of Data. 194 00:19:08,660 --> 00:19:14,660 So you've actually got a pretty standard two characters there as well it's chosen. 195 00:19:14,660 --> 00:19:15,660 Okay. 196 00:19:15,660 --> 00:19:18,660 The main plot is a sexual encounter. 197 00:19:18,660 --> 00:19:21,660 Well, we know that Data can do everything. 198 00:19:21,660 --> 00:19:26,660 And the antagonist, which is the bad guy, Freddy Krueger. 199 00:19:26,660 --> 00:19:29,660 Okay. 200 00:19:29,660 --> 00:19:36,660 That's it. So it is a next gen story, main character Jean-Luc Picard, sub character Data. 201 00:19:36,660 --> 00:19:42,660 It's a sexual encounter and Freddy Krueger has to be involved in some way. 202 00:19:42,660 --> 00:19:47,660 That's brilliant. I know exactly what I'm doing for this already. It's 90% written in my head. 203 00:19:47,660 --> 00:19:52,660 Because I've wanked over this situation before. 204 00:19:52,660 --> 00:19:54,660 Would you like to know some of the... 205 00:19:54,660 --> 00:19:56,660 No, no, no, no. Don't spoil anymore. 206 00:19:56,660 --> 00:20:02,660 Okay. So yeah, if we can get something up on the website, it'd be really good if people could enter their own plot points. 207 00:20:02,660 --> 00:20:04,660 Plot points and bad guys. 208 00:20:04,660 --> 00:20:09,660 Obviously they're not going to be able to edit the characters and show because they are what they are. 209 00:20:09,660 --> 00:20:12,660 What I'll do is I will make it so we've got to add it to the database. 210 00:20:12,660 --> 00:20:19,660 So I'll just stick a contact form on there and that will come into our email and we can add it to the database as and when I've created it. 211 00:20:19,660 --> 00:20:20,660 That's fine. 212 00:20:20,660 --> 00:20:21,660 Yeah. Wicked. 213 00:20:21,660 --> 00:20:24,660 Awesome. I'm looking forward to writing this now. 214 00:20:24,660 --> 00:20:27,660 I'm looking forward to hearing it. 215 00:20:27,660 --> 00:20:39,660 Picard Remembrance. Episode 1, Season 1 of Picard. 216 00:20:39,660 --> 00:20:44,660 So glad you did that because I thought the title music to Picard Season 1 was shite. 217 00:20:44,660 --> 00:20:51,660 For something that was a TNG kind of follow on, it should have had something way closer to the TNG original music. 218 00:20:51,660 --> 00:20:54,660 Or even the original kind of Star Trek music. 219 00:20:54,660 --> 00:21:00,660 It had in there, it had a little twinkling of the next gen. 220 00:21:00,660 --> 00:21:04,660 I think it kind of played a little bit part way through. 221 00:21:04,660 --> 00:21:08,660 I've written here about it's very melancholy, very slow. 222 00:21:08,660 --> 00:21:09,660 Yes. 223 00:21:09,660 --> 00:21:10,660 They're the two rules. 224 00:21:10,660 --> 00:21:12,660 Which really sums up the whole series for Series 1. 225 00:21:12,660 --> 00:21:21,660 I mean I didn't hate the intro, but if you're going to it wanting this to be more next gen, you need to watch Season 3. Not Season 1. 226 00:21:21,660 --> 00:21:23,660 Oh 100%. 100%. 227 00:21:23,660 --> 00:21:35,660 And it's interesting that Patrick Stewart said he'll never go back to play Jean-Luc Picard unless the script was absolutely mind blowing. 228 00:21:35,660 --> 00:21:40,660 And when you actually watch Season 1 you think, this isn't mind blowing. 229 00:21:40,660 --> 00:21:41,660 Not in its lightest. 230 00:21:41,660 --> 00:21:45,660 This really didn't take much for you to go back to play Picard, did it? 231 00:21:45,660 --> 00:21:47,660 That was a lot of fucking money. 232 00:21:47,660 --> 00:21:53,660 If Season 3 had been Season 1 of Picard, imagine that. How epic that would have been. 233 00:21:53,660 --> 00:21:56,660 And then they could have done two more. I don't know where they would have gone with it. 234 00:21:56,660 --> 00:21:58,660 Because I don't think they're going to do it. 235 00:21:58,660 --> 00:22:00,660 They just wasted so much, didn't they? 236 00:22:00,660 --> 00:22:06,660 The first series, just as an overall for me, the first series was disappointing. 237 00:22:06,660 --> 00:22:11,660 I enjoyed watching it, but I just thought, this is so lacklustre. 238 00:22:11,660 --> 00:22:15,660 It's so forced and so shoehorned in. 239 00:22:15,660 --> 00:22:17,660 Something doesn't feel right with it. 240 00:22:17,660 --> 00:22:23,660 Then we got Season 2 and they could have done so much with Season 2, especially with Q. 241 00:22:23,660 --> 00:22:30,660 And they got halfway through Season 2 and then it just farted and died. 242 00:22:30,660 --> 00:22:38,660 It's difficult to... I struggle between remembering which plots happened in Season 1 compared to Season 2. 243 00:22:38,660 --> 00:22:41,660 So Season 2 is the timey-wimey, travelly thing. 244 00:22:41,660 --> 00:22:43,660 And the Ball Queen and Agnes. 245 00:22:43,660 --> 00:22:47,660 Oh yeah, well they never fucking actually close any of it. 246 00:22:47,660 --> 00:22:49,660 And characters never come back. 247 00:22:49,660 --> 00:22:55,660 But that's the whole point. It started off really strong. Borg, brilliant. 248 00:22:55,660 --> 00:23:01,660 The Ball Queen, shit. That's amazing. Q, whoa! 249 00:23:01,660 --> 00:23:05,660 And then it just did this giant fart and died. 250 00:23:05,660 --> 00:23:09,660 I've told you the joke, haven't I, that Miranda and I thought we'd finished the series, 251 00:23:09,660 --> 00:23:11,660 but we didn't realise there was another episode. 252 00:23:11,660 --> 00:23:13,660 Exactly. So that shows you what we thought of Season 2. 253 00:23:13,660 --> 00:23:16,660 We thought it had ended, but we had a whole other episode. 254 00:23:16,660 --> 00:23:20,660 And it was months, it took a good two months I think, before we realised there was another episode. 255 00:23:20,660 --> 00:23:25,660 And then we've got Season 3 and it's the Enterprise drifting through a Borg Cube. 256 00:23:25,660 --> 00:23:28,660 And I don't mean just drifting because it's out of engine power. 257 00:23:28,660 --> 00:23:35,660 I mean full-on Tokyo drift, fast in the furious, drifting through a Borg Cube in Jupiter. 258 00:23:35,660 --> 00:23:39,660 So before we go too far, did I explain what we're doing with the episode? 259 00:23:39,660 --> 00:23:41,660 No, you didn't. So far away. 260 00:23:41,660 --> 00:23:47,660 So whereas we would normally pick the episode and go through it play-by-play as the episode plays out, 261 00:23:47,660 --> 00:23:51,660 I want to try a different tact with it today and just talk about it in general. 262 00:23:51,660 --> 00:23:53,660 So we might just kind of flip around a bit. 263 00:23:53,660 --> 00:23:59,660 But I think firstly it'll make it a bit more concise rather than boring bits of going, 264 00:23:59,660 --> 00:24:01,660 oh then this, then this, then this. 265 00:24:01,660 --> 00:24:06,660 But also leave space for other things in the episode, which I'll get to when we get to them. 266 00:24:06,660 --> 00:24:11,660 Okay. So really, let's go on with it. 267 00:24:15,660 --> 00:24:18,660 Accessing library computer data. 268 00:24:18,660 --> 00:24:20,660 Well, as we said, you didn't like the intro. 269 00:24:20,660 --> 00:24:23,660 Yeah, I wasn't blown away by the intro. 270 00:24:23,660 --> 00:24:27,660 I really enjoyed the very first section of this where he's playing poker with data. 271 00:24:27,660 --> 00:24:30,660 I didn't think, you know, when I forgot about the poker at the beginning. 272 00:24:30,660 --> 00:24:33,660 I was like, as soon as it started I was like, of course it's poker. 273 00:24:33,660 --> 00:24:35,660 Of course it's fucking poker. It's poker. 274 00:24:35,660 --> 00:24:40,660 As a really boring game of poker if you've only got two people playing. 275 00:24:40,660 --> 00:24:43,660 Yeah, I liked their interactions though. 276 00:24:43,660 --> 00:24:44,660 The interaction's beautiful. 277 00:24:44,660 --> 00:24:48,660 You know, going on about seeing data's tell. 278 00:24:48,660 --> 00:24:50,660 It doesn't have a tell. 279 00:24:50,660 --> 00:24:52,660 And the fact he shows a tell, that's his tell. 280 00:24:52,660 --> 00:24:57,660 And it was really kind of cool, like messing with data going, oh I don't know what to do now. 281 00:24:57,660 --> 00:25:00,660 And that was genuinely really good. 282 00:25:00,660 --> 00:25:02,660 And that's what made me really hopeful for Picard. 283 00:25:02,660 --> 00:25:05,660 That first scene is really powerful. 284 00:25:05,660 --> 00:25:08,660 And you've got Brent Spiner rekindling data. 285 00:25:08,660 --> 00:25:10,660 You've got Picard as Picard. 286 00:25:10,660 --> 00:25:12,660 You've got the enterprise. 287 00:25:12,660 --> 00:25:14,660 What more could you ask for? 288 00:25:14,660 --> 00:25:17,660 And then you get into the intro and then, meh. 289 00:25:17,660 --> 00:25:21,660 Yeah, then it kind of goes a bit downhill. 290 00:25:21,660 --> 00:25:26,660 I don't even think a bit downhill's enough. 291 00:25:26,660 --> 00:25:30,660 It goes downhill quite a bit. 292 00:25:30,660 --> 00:25:34,660 I mean, I don't remember Romulans having acid blood, do you? 293 00:25:34,660 --> 00:25:36,660 I don't remember them having Iris accents. 294 00:25:36,660 --> 00:25:38,660 Oh yes, you don't know. 295 00:25:38,660 --> 00:25:41,660 I've got a problem with that because I like that character. 296 00:25:41,660 --> 00:25:43,660 I like that character and I think they do her dirty in season three. 297 00:25:43,660 --> 00:25:47,660 They do her disgustingly dirty just so he can get a bit of Bev action. 298 00:25:47,660 --> 00:25:50,660 It's just no. Sorry, but no. 299 00:25:50,660 --> 00:25:52,660 Is she even in season three? Sorry, to interrupt you. 300 00:25:52,660 --> 00:25:56,660 Yes, she's in the first episode and she tells him to go to Beverley. 301 00:25:56,660 --> 00:25:58,660 And that's the last we ever see of her. 302 00:25:58,660 --> 00:26:02,660 You know she's packed her bags and gone back off to the Emerald Isle. 303 00:26:02,660 --> 00:26:07,660 Where the Romulans hang out apparently because that makes absolute sense. 304 00:26:07,660 --> 00:26:10,660 Absolute sense, doesn't it? 305 00:26:10,660 --> 00:26:17,660 It's been however many years and apparently Romulans just pick up the accent wherever they get left. 306 00:26:17,660 --> 00:26:19,660 Yeah, it's odd. 307 00:26:19,660 --> 00:26:21,660 Could you imagine a cockney? 308 00:26:21,660 --> 00:26:24,660 Yeah. 309 00:26:24,660 --> 00:26:32,660 I like seeing him though not being a captain or an admiral he is at this point. 310 00:26:32,660 --> 00:26:35,660 And actually he doesn't like Starfleet. 311 00:26:35,660 --> 00:26:38,660 He's pissed off with what they did to the Romulans. 312 00:26:38,660 --> 00:26:44,660 So yeah, I really like that kind of turn of events where he's just, no, I've given up on the Federation. 313 00:26:44,660 --> 00:26:46,660 It's not the Federation anymore. 314 00:26:46,660 --> 00:26:48,660 They closed their doors and they retreated in. 315 00:26:48,660 --> 00:26:50,660 They're not explorers anymore. 316 00:26:50,660 --> 00:26:51,660 They're not out there for the people. 317 00:26:51,660 --> 00:26:53,660 They're not out there for anyone else. 318 00:26:53,660 --> 00:26:58,660 They've just closed the doors and they've come back and they're just really not who they used to be. 319 00:26:58,660 --> 00:27:04,660 And I like that actually because that was a good story point they could have gone off on. 320 00:27:04,660 --> 00:27:06,660 Yeah. 321 00:27:06,660 --> 00:27:07,660 And that's kind of it, isn't it? 322 00:27:07,660 --> 00:27:08,660 Yeah. 323 00:27:08,660 --> 00:27:15,660 It was all just a setup for them to talk about the not having the robot people. 324 00:27:15,660 --> 00:27:16,660 Yes. 325 00:27:16,660 --> 00:27:20,660 The whole thing is just a setup to show that what they called... 326 00:27:20,660 --> 00:27:21,660 The synths. 327 00:27:21,660 --> 00:27:24,660 Yeah, synthetics. It's all just a setup for that. 328 00:27:24,660 --> 00:27:34,660 But you could also say, don't forget, that you could, at a really big push, and I mean a giant fucking push with that, 329 00:27:34,660 --> 00:27:44,660 say that this is linked to season three where we find out that the bad people have infiltrated the Federation. 330 00:27:44,660 --> 00:27:49,660 Is this just the start of it? Or was it the start of it when he retired and left the Federation? 331 00:27:49,660 --> 00:27:50,660 Yeah. 332 00:27:50,660 --> 00:27:55,660 Or was that the start of their infiltration to the Federation? 333 00:27:55,660 --> 00:28:00,660 Yeah, I think that probably is what they would have... maybe if we watch season three again they might already imply... 334 00:28:00,660 --> 00:28:04,660 I don't think it was intended. I don't think that was implied at all. 335 00:28:04,660 --> 00:28:10,660 But I think the fact that they had that and thought, well, we didn't really go anywhere with it to a good extent. 336 00:28:10,660 --> 00:28:17,660 Maybe if we let people kind of do it themselves and if they make the leap, then they make the leap. 337 00:28:17,660 --> 00:28:23,660 I want to say, if anybody is on the Mugwatch, great Mugs. 338 00:28:23,660 --> 00:28:27,660 When he's playing poker, he has a proper Mug. 339 00:28:27,660 --> 00:28:30,660 The Mug game in Picard is on point. 340 00:28:30,660 --> 00:28:35,660 It's a little bit poncy, I thought, the one he had when he was playing poker, but it's still decent, 341 00:28:35,660 --> 00:28:39,660 and later on he goes to replicate it and gets an Earl Grey decaf, odd. 342 00:28:39,660 --> 00:28:45,660 And he has a normal see-through Mug. 343 00:28:45,660 --> 00:28:52,660 And it's the right size, it's not a dainty little shape, and I felt like the Mug was front and centre, as all Mugs should be. 344 00:28:52,660 --> 00:28:58,660 I'm really surprised they hadn't just jumped the shark and said, you know what, we've given up on everything else, 345 00:28:58,660 --> 00:29:03,660 so we'll make sure it's got a futuristic Brita logo on it to get some advertising in there. 346 00:29:03,660 --> 00:29:07,660 I find it a bit weird he didn't say please or thank you to the replicator though. 347 00:29:07,660 --> 00:29:12,660 I say thank you and please sometimes when I'm talking to the AIs. 348 00:29:12,660 --> 00:29:15,660 Well, not the AIs, the algorithms that are posing as AIs. 349 00:29:15,660 --> 00:29:16,660 Or the Home Assistants. 350 00:29:16,660 --> 00:29:17,660 Yeah. 351 00:29:17,660 --> 00:29:23,660 So it's weird for him, because I think I wrote down exactly what it says, T Earl Grey decaf. 352 00:29:23,660 --> 00:29:25,660 That's all he says to it. 353 00:29:25,660 --> 00:29:27,660 He doesn't go, oh, can I have this please? 354 00:29:27,660 --> 00:29:30,660 Yeah, but you know what, he doesn't in TNG. 355 00:29:30,660 --> 00:29:36,660 When he talks to the replicator in there, it's always very T Earl Grey, and he just moves on. 356 00:29:36,660 --> 00:29:44,660 Maybe it's just because we've, just because we're polite, I'm not saying he's not polite, but we don't have those. 357 00:29:44,660 --> 00:29:51,660 So suddenly we're speaking to something that understands us, even though it's not sentient, we're being polite to it. 358 00:29:51,660 --> 00:29:56,660 Maybe our boys, when they're older, they won't be saying please or thank you to the machine. 359 00:29:56,660 --> 00:29:58,660 That's true. That's very true. 360 00:29:58,660 --> 00:30:04,660 I've got to remark though, how good he still looks at his age in this. 361 00:30:04,660 --> 00:30:07,660 I think he looks better in real life than there. 362 00:30:07,660 --> 00:30:12,660 They made him look hunched over and skinny and old. 363 00:30:12,660 --> 00:30:14,660 I think that's the idea though. 364 00:30:14,660 --> 00:30:15,660 Yeah, and I think it's the idea too. 365 00:30:15,660 --> 00:30:17,660 Weirdly, and it sounds really weird. 366 00:30:17,660 --> 00:30:24,660 I'm sure you've had grandparents, have you had any grandparents or family that's gone through like a care home? 367 00:30:24,660 --> 00:30:26,660 Friends or family. 368 00:30:26,660 --> 00:30:34,660 Yeah, okay. And have they ever had that, well, any sort of neurological, typically something like dementia. 369 00:30:34,660 --> 00:30:45,660 So they kind of become a little bit, not racist, but obviously the part of the brain that deals with what's appropriate and what's not disappears. 370 00:30:45,660 --> 00:30:47,660 I kind of get that feeling from this first. 371 00:30:47,660 --> 00:30:55,660 It's like, it really feels like Picard's in like this retirement residential care home and the two Romulans are his carer. 372 00:30:55,660 --> 00:30:56,660 I just feel a bit like that. 373 00:30:56,660 --> 00:30:58,660 And it's just like how he treats them and just speaks to them. 374 00:30:58,660 --> 00:31:03,660 It's like, yeah, you really are just in a care home now, aren't you? 375 00:31:03,660 --> 00:31:10,660 I'm not really sure I understand the point of the interview bit other than just to be mean to him. 376 00:31:10,660 --> 00:31:12,660 The interview was just being racist. 377 00:31:12,660 --> 00:31:14,660 She's a racist twat is what I wrote, is what she was. 378 00:31:14,660 --> 00:31:19,660 It was just purely an excuse for exposition, which I dislike. 379 00:31:19,660 --> 00:31:27,660 If you need exposition, use it as a method of progressing the story. 380 00:31:27,660 --> 00:31:30,660 Don't just write, we need to explain something. 381 00:31:30,660 --> 00:31:32,660 What's the quickest way we can do it? 382 00:31:32,660 --> 00:31:34,660 Just badger him on TV as an interview. 383 00:31:34,660 --> 00:31:36,660 It just didn't work for me. 384 00:31:36,660 --> 00:31:47,660 They could have done a five minute piece of him dreaming about what happened or with it being the anniversary of what happened even. 385 00:31:47,660 --> 00:31:52,660 But either way, I just don't think it worked that scene. 386 00:31:52,660 --> 00:31:54,660 It just comes more across that, yeah, you're right. 387 00:31:54,660 --> 00:31:57,660 She's just being an utter bitch. 388 00:31:57,660 --> 00:31:58,660 Yeah. 389 00:31:58,660 --> 00:32:00,660 Little quiz for you. 390 00:32:00,660 --> 00:32:01,660 OK. 391 00:32:01,660 --> 00:32:03,660 What's that? 392 00:32:03,660 --> 00:32:04,660 Do you hear that? 393 00:32:04,660 --> 00:32:05,660 I can hear that. 394 00:32:05,660 --> 00:32:08,660 Is T. Awake and he's playing with a toy? 395 00:32:08,660 --> 00:32:10,660 As he's just been coughing loads. 396 00:32:10,660 --> 00:32:20,660 Do you want to? 397 00:32:20,660 --> 00:32:24,660 What's going on? 398 00:32:24,660 --> 00:32:28,660 Well, well, well, it was only a matter of time, wasn't it? 399 00:32:28,660 --> 00:32:29,660 What? 400 00:32:29,660 --> 00:32:31,660 Where am I? 401 00:32:31,660 --> 00:32:33,660 Your hubris has finally got the better of you, Rob. 402 00:32:33,660 --> 00:32:34,660 Who are you? 403 00:32:34,660 --> 00:32:43,660 Taking the piss, fucking around, not putting the effort in, comparing prodigy to Star Wars, always saying teleporter when you know full well it's transporter. 404 00:32:43,660 --> 00:32:44,660 It was all coming to a head. 405 00:32:44,660 --> 00:32:48,660 This is just the inevitable outcome to your constant failure. 406 00:32:48,660 --> 00:32:50,660 This seems a little harsh to me, mate. 407 00:32:50,660 --> 00:32:51,660 Harsh? 408 00:32:51,660 --> 00:32:52,660 Call yourself a Trek fan? 409 00:32:52,660 --> 00:32:55,660 We Trekkies don't take kindly to the bullshit of you fake fans. 410 00:32:55,660 --> 00:32:57,660 Trek is for us, not for you. 411 00:32:57,660 --> 00:33:00,660 Oh, God, you're one of those fans. 412 00:33:00,660 --> 00:33:07,660 I even wrote into your stupid show to that lovely lady you slave drive into managing your retweets and receiving your complaint emails. 413 00:33:07,660 --> 00:33:11,660 Let's say I didn't take too kindly to her tone when reading my correspondence. 414 00:33:11,660 --> 00:33:15,660 She was just as surprised as you when I paid her a little visit. 415 00:33:15,660 --> 00:33:17,660 You're talking about Karen? 416 00:33:17,660 --> 00:33:18,660 What have you done to her? 417 00:33:18,660 --> 00:33:21,660 If you've heard, I swear to God you are dead. 418 00:33:21,660 --> 00:33:22,660 She'll be fine. 419 00:33:22,660 --> 00:33:25,660 It's you and Tom that I'd be worried about. 420 00:33:25,660 --> 00:33:27,660 He'll have a sore head in the morning, that's for sure. 421 00:33:27,660 --> 00:33:30,660 Getting my name wrong, shame on him. 422 00:33:30,660 --> 00:33:33,660 Wait, are you that superfan weirdo? 423 00:33:33,660 --> 00:33:34,660 The... what was it? 424 00:33:34,660 --> 00:33:36,660 Star Trek superfan number one? 425 00:33:36,660 --> 00:33:37,660 The very same. 426 00:33:37,660 --> 00:33:39,660 Jesus Christ. 427 00:33:39,660 --> 00:33:42,660 Now then, let's get to the point of all this. 428 00:33:42,660 --> 00:33:43,660 Yeah, please do. 429 00:33:43,660 --> 00:33:48,660 As much as I enjoy being hung upside down in a dingy basement by a nerdy weirdo, I'd prefer to be at home. 430 00:33:48,660 --> 00:33:51,660 You know, they have a new Star Wars series on Disney Plus. 431 00:33:51,660 --> 00:33:52,660 Acolyte or something. 432 00:33:52,660 --> 00:33:53,660 Not seen yet. 433 00:33:53,660 --> 00:33:55,660 My friend Stidia says I should watch it. 434 00:33:55,660 --> 00:33:56,660 Shut up. 435 00:33:56,660 --> 00:33:59,660 No one gives a fuck about your Star Wars friends, Stidia. 436 00:33:59,660 --> 00:34:00,660 Ooh, wouldn't say that, mate. 437 00:34:00,660 --> 00:34:02,660 They'll get pissed off and come get ya. 438 00:34:02,660 --> 00:34:03,660 Stop being a twat. 439 00:34:03,660 --> 00:34:05,660 Yeah, I'm afraid it's genetic. 440 00:34:05,660 --> 00:34:11,660 Look, we've been listening into your recordings and it seems like you don't have the correct opinion of Picard. 441 00:34:11,660 --> 00:34:13,660 So we decided we had to intervene. 442 00:34:13,660 --> 00:34:15,660 It's not our fault it's poorly paced. 443 00:34:15,660 --> 00:34:21,660 There's a convoluted storyline about robot babies and a shoehorn side hustle involving a derelict ball cube. 444 00:34:21,660 --> 00:34:25,660 And that's everything a nostalgic fan wants for this series years in the making. 445 00:34:25,660 --> 00:34:26,660 Oh, Rob. 446 00:34:26,660 --> 00:34:29,660 Rob, Rob, Rob. 447 00:34:29,660 --> 00:34:58,660 Uh oh. 448 00:34:59,660 --> 00:35:04,660 Reports are coming in of major space time and dimensional disturbances across Starfleet. 449 00:35:04,660 --> 00:35:12,660 Many viewers have been documenting dimensional squid creatures breaking through the barriers of their dimensions and bleeding into hours. 450 00:35:12,660 --> 00:35:21,660 Some have commented on rips in space time creating windows and in some cases doorways into other dimensions and other places in time. 451 00:35:21,660 --> 00:35:27,660 Unconfirmed reports suggest this could be linked to a recent security breach on the USS Shit Show. 452 00:35:27,660 --> 00:35:30,660 Come. 453 00:35:30,660 --> 00:35:31,660 Bloody hell. 454 00:35:31,660 --> 00:35:35,660 Somehow this is getting to be my problem, isn't it? 455 00:35:35,660 --> 00:35:38,660 Come. 456 00:35:38,660 --> 00:35:41,660 Come. 457 00:35:41,660 --> 00:35:44,660 Come in. 458 00:35:44,660 --> 00:35:51,660 Don't press a button my bloody self. 459 00:35:51,660 --> 00:35:52,660 Hello? 460 00:35:52,660 --> 00:35:55,660 Anyone missing a data pad? 461 00:35:55,660 --> 00:36:00,660 Hello? 462 00:36:00,660 --> 00:36:04,660 What? 463 00:36:04,660 --> 00:36:06,660 Data pad load complete. 464 00:36:06,660 --> 00:36:10,660 Identity check confirmed. Beginning message playback. 465 00:36:10,660 --> 00:36:20,660 Recent disturbances in space time have been directly linked to a security breach of the dilithium entity known as the anomaly. 466 00:36:20,660 --> 00:36:27,660 It is theorized that these disturbances have direct causation to an incident on multiverse Earth 84. 467 00:36:27,660 --> 00:36:38,660 On Earth 84, two men known as Tom and Rob host an internet science fiction talk show known in their universe as a podcast. 468 00:36:38,660 --> 00:36:42,660 This podcast and their hosts must be allowed to continue. 469 00:36:42,660 --> 00:36:52,660 Were it to end before it set time, it could have unfathomable consequences not only to their dimension but also to ours. 470 00:36:52,660 --> 00:37:01,660 Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to cancel all previous orders rendezvous with Starfleet Intelligence Team 13, 471 00:37:01,660 --> 00:37:10,660 enter the spatial tear at the rendezvous location and prevent the untimely death of one of the podcast's hosts. 472 00:37:10,660 --> 00:37:18,660 If you or any other members of your SI team are caught or killed, Starfleet will disavow any knowledge of your actions. 473 00:37:18,660 --> 00:37:24,660 Good luck Agent Court, this data pad will self-destruct in five seconds. 474 00:37:24,660 --> 00:37:41,660 Fucking knew it. 475 00:37:41,660 --> 00:37:59,660 What a biscuit. Digestive. Yeah, your loss. 476 00:37:59,660 --> 00:38:07,660 Well, I wasn't expecting it to be you two. Where's my normal crew? 477 00:38:07,660 --> 00:38:15,660 Due to the nature of this endeavor, it was decided that we should accompany you on this mission. 478 00:38:15,660 --> 00:38:25,660 Right then. Introductions. I'm sure you all know me. Who are you? 479 00:38:25,660 --> 00:38:32,660 Excellent to meet you. I heard what you did on Bajor. Some fine, fine work. Right, how about you? 480 00:38:32,660 --> 00:38:43,660 Mocking, Governor. Demolitions expert, master at diversion, subterfuge and all-round mean motherfucker. 481 00:38:43,660 --> 00:38:48,660 Great to meet you both. And you've both been apprised on the situation. 482 00:38:48,660 --> 00:38:50,660 Of course. 483 00:38:50,660 --> 00:38:56,660 Excellent. Well then, let's get to it. Which one of you secured the window? 484 00:38:56,660 --> 00:39:02,660 The bird, Governor. And some fine work too. Good to go when you are. 485 00:39:02,660 --> 00:39:31,660 I'm gonna smore into the breach. Prison pigeon, fire it up. 486 00:39:31,660 --> 00:39:49,660 Good morning, Rob. I trust you slept well. Thirsty? I'm sure you are. Now, it's time you accept your responsibility. 487 00:39:49,660 --> 00:39:53,660 I've told you already what we thought of Picard Season 1. 488 00:39:53,660 --> 00:39:56,660 Yes, I'm sure you have. Tell me. 489 00:39:56,660 --> 00:39:57,660 It's shit. 490 00:39:57,660 --> 00:40:01,660 Indeed. Now, how many lights do you see there? 491 00:40:01,660 --> 00:40:03,660 Four lights. 492 00:40:03,660 --> 00:40:06,660 No, there are five. Are you quite sure? 493 00:40:06,660 --> 00:40:07,660 There are four lights. 494 00:40:07,660 --> 00:40:16,660 Perhaps you're aware of the incision on your chest. While you were under the influence of my drugs, you were implanted with a small device. It's a remarkable invention. 495 00:40:16,660 --> 00:40:24,660 By entering commands in this iPhone, I can produce pain in any part of your body at various levels of severity. Forgive me. 496 00:40:24,660 --> 00:40:29,660 I don't enjoy this, but I must demonstrate. It will make everything clearer. 497 00:40:29,660 --> 00:40:33,660 Aaaaaaah! Aaaaaaah! 498 00:40:33,660 --> 00:40:43,660 Surprising, isn't it? You were completely unprepared for the intensity of the pain. That was the lowest possible setting. Thank God for Steve Jobs. 499 00:40:43,660 --> 00:40:55,660 I'm telling you, it's not a good first episode. How did the script become the one to bring back the titan of Patrick Stewart to reprise his iconic role? 500 00:40:55,660 --> 00:41:02,660 But I've told you that I believe you when you think this. But I didn't ask you about Picard. I asked how many lights you see. 501 00:41:02,660 --> 00:41:05,660 What? There are four lights. 502 00:41:05,660 --> 00:41:08,660 I don't understand how you can be so mistaken. 503 00:41:08,660 --> 00:41:12,660 What on earth? 504 00:41:12,660 --> 00:41:23,660 Ha ha! Freeze, motherfucker! Time to bring home the bacon! 505 00:41:23,660 --> 00:41:26,660 Whaaaaat? 506 00:41:34,660 --> 00:41:39,660 Great, Sharkmokin. Now get him through the tear, quick. I'll deal with this one. 507 00:41:39,660 --> 00:41:45,660 Wow. You really do look like him. Weird. 508 00:41:45,660 --> 00:41:55,660 Huh? Who? Look, look. Hold on, hold on. What's going on? Why is that pig carrying that nutjob through that strange light? 509 00:41:55,660 --> 00:41:59,660 Don't worry about any of that. All you need to know is you're safe. 510 00:41:59,660 --> 00:42:01,660 Yeah, and what about Tom? 511 00:42:01,660 --> 00:42:04,660 Oh, Tom's fine. We found him in a field by a motorway. 512 00:42:04,660 --> 00:42:10,660 Ah, the one with the speed camera always going off. Ha ha! He was right, Governor. 513 00:42:10,660 --> 00:42:13,660 Indeed. Looks like I owe prison pitching five credits. 514 00:42:13,660 --> 00:42:15,660 This is so fucking weird. 515 00:42:15,660 --> 00:42:20,660 Telling me. But let me help get you down from that thing-job of his. 516 00:42:20,660 --> 00:42:32,660 This is totally mental. First I'm kidnapped, and I'm saved by a time travelling man and a weird talking cockneyed pig. 517 00:42:32,660 --> 00:42:42,660 To be fair, prison pitching's right. Without him, we wouldn't have got to you in time. 518 00:42:42,660 --> 00:42:47,660 Sorry. A man, a pig and a pigeon. 519 00:42:47,660 --> 00:42:53,660 Look, we don't have much time. We've got to go before this tear closes. 520 00:42:53,660 --> 00:42:56,660 You want some advice? 521 00:42:56,660 --> 00:42:59,660 Sure, why not? Not like tonight can get any more weird. 522 00:42:59,660 --> 00:43:04,660 Next time, don't fuck up the files on your SD card. 523 00:43:07,660 --> 00:43:09,660 Hey, Spaceman. 524 00:43:09,660 --> 00:43:11,660 Yes, alternate Rob? 525 00:43:11,660 --> 00:43:15,660 Tell that wanker for me. There are four fucking lights. 526 00:43:15,660 --> 00:43:18,660 Will do, mate. Keep out of trouble. 527 00:43:46,660 --> 00:43:52,660 Good work, agent. Your continued dedication to your duty is commendable. 528 00:43:52,660 --> 00:43:58,660 It appears your actions on Earth-84 have had the desired butterfly effect. 529 00:43:58,660 --> 00:44:03,660 We are receiving reports of time and space abnormalities coming to an end. 530 00:44:03,660 --> 00:44:12,660 Whilst we are unaware of what ramifications this could have in the long run, at least for now, our universe appears to be safe. 531 00:44:12,660 --> 00:44:24,660 Just before the last window to Earth-84 closed, our communication experts managed to intercept a final communication from what appears to be Tom and Rob. 532 00:44:24,660 --> 00:44:27,660 Beginning message playback. 533 00:44:27,660 --> 00:44:32,660 Season 2, Episode 1 of Discovery. 534 00:44:32,660 --> 00:44:33,660 Season 2, Episode 1. 535 00:44:33,660 --> 00:44:35,660 So you haven't seen Season 2. 536 00:44:35,660 --> 00:44:36,660 Yes, I have. 537 00:44:36,660 --> 00:44:37,660 Have you? 538 00:44:37,660 --> 00:44:41,660 I've seen most of it and I thought it was crap. Season 2 is the one where... 539 00:44:41,660 --> 00:44:48,660 Season 2 is the one where we have the human who's actually a Klingon. 540 00:44:48,660 --> 00:44:53,660 Yeah, it's just I chose Episode 1 because that's the first season that's got Pike. 541 00:44:53,660 --> 00:44:57,660 So he's spoken about in the episode before, the end of... 542 00:44:57,660 --> 00:44:58,660 End of Discovery. 543 00:44:58,660 --> 00:45:08,660 The end of Season 1, the ship's there. But Season 2, Episode 1, he's actually in it. And I thought, well, at least there'll be a character we both love. 544 00:45:08,660 --> 00:45:09,660 That's true. 545 00:45:09,660 --> 00:45:11,660 So that's what it is. I don't remember the exact episode name. 546 00:45:11,660 --> 00:45:12,660 And his sexy hair. 547 00:45:12,660 --> 00:45:15,660 But it's season... his hair's not so sexy in it. 548 00:45:15,660 --> 00:45:16,660 What? 549 00:45:16,660 --> 00:45:18,660 In Discovery. Don't you remember? 550 00:45:18,660 --> 00:45:19,660 Oh yeah, you're right. 551 00:45:19,660 --> 00:45:21,660 It's just a bit messy. 552 00:45:21,660 --> 00:45:22,660 What a prick. 553 00:45:22,660 --> 00:45:27,660 He doesn't get the hair wax until he actually has his own show and he gets to budget his own hair product. 554 00:45:27,660 --> 00:45:32,660 Yeah, they get the budget for their hair product. 555 00:45:32,660 --> 00:45:37,660 Yeah, right. Season 2, Episode 1, Discovery. 556 00:45:37,660 --> 00:45:39,660 That's it. Top done. 557 00:45:39,660 --> 00:45:40,660 Yay! 558 00:45:40,660 --> 00:45:43,660 Save me TJ. Save me TJ. Tell me where we are. 559 00:45:43,660 --> 00:45:47,660 Right. We are part of the Channel 84 Studio, Channel 84 network. 560 00:45:47,660 --> 00:45:54,660 You can find out more about the Untitled Trek Show by going to www.channel84.co.uk and looking under Untitled Trek Show. 561 00:45:54,660 --> 00:46:01,660 There you will find all our social media links and that's Twitter, Instagram, Blue Sky, Threads, Facebook, you name it. We're there. 562 00:46:01,660 --> 00:46:05,660 You can also email us from the web page on the contact form. 563 00:46:05,660 --> 00:46:12,660 If you would like to email us directly, you can email rob at channel84.co.uk or TJ at channel84.co.uk. 564 00:46:12,660 --> 00:46:22,660 Or if you would like to email us both at the same time, then you can send that email to podcasts, that's plural, podcasts at channel84.co.uk. 565 00:46:22,660 --> 00:46:24,660 That is it. 566 00:46:24,660 --> 00:46:25,660 Hooray! 567 00:46:25,660 --> 00:46:26,660 Woohoo! 568 00:46:26,660 --> 00:46:27,660 Thanks, mate. 569 00:46:27,660 --> 00:46:28,660 Thank you very much. 570 00:46:28,660 --> 00:46:29,660 Have a great holiday. 571 00:46:29,660 --> 00:46:30,660 Oh, I will do. 572 00:46:30,660 --> 00:46:32,660 And we'll speak to you. 573 00:46:32,660 --> 00:46:35,660 Hey, I'm already been on a holiday, I'm back. 574 00:46:35,660 --> 00:46:36,660 Oh, yeah. 575 00:46:36,660 --> 00:46:38,660 Enjoy your next holiday next year. 576 00:46:38,660 --> 00:46:40,660 I bought you a stick of rock. 577 00:46:40,660 --> 00:46:41,660 Oh, yay! 578 00:46:41,660 --> 00:46:42,660 Love you. 579 00:46:42,660 --> 00:46:43,660 Bye. 580 00:46:43,660 --> 00:46:47,660 Thank you for listening to the Channel 84 Untitled Trek Show. 581 00:46:47,660 --> 00:46:51,660 This station is now shutting down and we'll be back in two weeks. 582 00:46:51,660 --> 00:47:13,660 Excelsior. 583 00:47:13,660 --> 00:47:16,660 This was a Studio Channel 84 Network Show. 584 00:47:16,660 --> 00:47:28,660 To find more, head over to channel84.co.uk now. 585 00:47:28,660 --> 00:47:31,660 Playback complete. 586 00:47:31,660 --> 00:47:35,660 And lastly, of course, congratulations, Agent Cort. 587 00:47:35,660 --> 00:47:38,660 We will be in touch. 588 00:47:38,660 --> 00:47:57,660 This data pad will self-destruct in five seconds.