1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,960 short stories from the world of the USS shitshow 2 00:00:04,960 --> 00:00:10,960 the ship 3 00:00:10,960 --> 00:00:26,480 the bridge thank you lieutenants how's it looking out there 4 00:00:40,960 --> 00:00:48,200 miss in the collective again 5 00:00:48,680 --> 00:00:55,960 captain we have an incoming message from Starfleet odd it's Admiral Chesters 6 00:00:55,960 --> 00:01:03,880 on screen aye aye captain on screen Karen it's great to see you how are the 7 00:01:03,880 --> 00:01:08,480 kids it's Admiral you've met my children they're awful little bastards 8 00:01:08,480 --> 00:01:15,520 of course sorry tell me captain what exactly is going on on your ship well 9 00:01:15,520 --> 00:01:20,160 right now lieutenant a pocket I discussing the philosophical dilemma of 10 00:01:20,160 --> 00:01:25,280 our impact on the universe and how we are all cogs in a larger machine captain 11 00:01:25,280 --> 00:01:29,520 the USS shitshow is placed in the bottom five of Starfleet's productivity 12 00:01:29,520 --> 00:01:34,040 charts for the third time running you are performing even worse than the damn 13 00:01:34,040 --> 00:01:39,560 Cerritos Admiral I know we have room for improvement but that seems a little 14 00:01:39,560 --> 00:01:48,480 unfair unfair what's unfair in the last six months you've reported 1863 vocal 15 00:01:48,480 --> 00:01:54,620 accord violations 89 non-approved replicator modifications seven 16 00:01:54,620 --> 00:02:01,480 transporter malfunctions and had five five high-level security breaches but 17 00:02:01,480 --> 00:02:06,120 when you put it like that when I put it like that it tells me that Starfleet 18 00:02:06,120 --> 00:02:12,840 needs to make some changes now tell me about the anomaly is it secured yes ma'am 19 00:02:12,840 --> 00:02:18,000 it's contained a monitor 24 7 by 2 of our finest crew members I should hope so 20 00:02:18,000 --> 00:02:23,000 for your sake don't worry Admiral we have everything under control in any case 21 00:02:23,000 --> 00:02:27,040 Starfleet has made the decision that you are to rendezvous with the science 22 00:02:27,040 --> 00:02:33,400 vessel the USS dirty Kim on deep space 9 as soon as possible I will be there to 23 00:02:33,400 --> 00:02:39,640 meet you and together we will ensure a smooth transfer of the anomaly Admiral 24 00:02:39,640 --> 00:02:44,040 it's our mission your mission has been reassigned all shore leave is cancelled 25 00:02:44,040 --> 00:02:48,200 you are to return to deep space 9 immediately make contact with the dirty 26 00:02:48,200 --> 00:02:53,440 Kim and hand over the anomaly but but nothing captain of course ma'am and 27 00:02:53,440 --> 00:03:01,640 captain don't fuck this up yes ma'am and don't let quarks be the first place I 28 00:03:01,640 --> 00:03:07,600 see you when I set foot on deep space 9 just a warning 29 00:03:07,600 --> 00:03:23,880 it would appear so 30 00:03:37,600 --> 00:03:48,400 it started I nearly screaming are we recording it are we recording yet 31 00:03:48,400 --> 00:03:55,720 because we're doing it remotely and it gave us a timer and we got webcam not 32 00:03:55,720 --> 00:03:59,680 that anyone's gonna see the webcam no I can see each other through the magic of 33 00:03:59,680 --> 00:04:04,800 the internet very Star Trek it's very trick but you're not seeing my groin 34 00:04:04,800 --> 00:04:12,240 because I'm looking at yes this is a well-placed camera this is a correctly 35 00:04:12,240 --> 00:04:16,920 placed camera with a screen orientation perfectly fine and we're looking at each 36 00:04:16,920 --> 00:04:22,240 other's faces look the cock shot camera and on the enterprise and no it's not 37 00:04:22,240 --> 00:04:27,000 the enterprises is on Voyager is Voyager yeah yeah well maybe maybe that all the 38 00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:31,440 Voyager crew are just 12 foot tall did you ever think about that just think 39 00:04:31,440 --> 00:04:39,360 it's just Harry Kim he's talking to the EMH and just doesn't really care 40 00:04:39,360 --> 00:04:45,160 could you imagine going to the EMH look I know we're in what the 25th century now 41 00:04:45,160 --> 00:04:51,560 whatever it is I need something to be make me a little bit potent can you can 42 00:04:51,560 --> 00:04:57,880 you help did we talk about this live about EMH and consent we spoke about 43 00:04:57,880 --> 00:05:03,040 this before it vaguely rings a bell but I wonder if we've talked about it as an 44 00:05:03,040 --> 00:05:14,320 idea okay well let's leave it as an idea for now enter authorization code so 45 00:05:14,320 --> 00:05:21,520 today if you all remember we didn't ask anybody to watch any episodes we asked 46 00:05:21,520 --> 00:05:28,720 for some questions and I didn't get sent any I got sent two ages ago which I 47 00:05:28,720 --> 00:05:33,800 purposely didn't answer on Twitter so I wasn't ignoring Karen and Nathan on 48 00:05:33,800 --> 00:05:37,240 Twitter so sorry if you thought I was ignoring you purposely didn't answer 49 00:05:37,240 --> 00:05:41,840 because I thought we could use it and the two really good questions actually 50 00:05:41,840 --> 00:05:46,720 to be fair but before we get into that what sci-fi have you watched in the last 51 00:05:46,720 --> 00:05:51,680 fortnight ah right well I've actually thought about this for once twisted 52 00:05:51,680 --> 00:05:58,560 metal I've watched the first episode pretty good wasn't what I was expecting 53 00:05:58,560 --> 00:06:03,440 but overall quite a solid idea of a show now I remember playing the originals on 54 00:06:03,440 --> 00:06:09,200 PlayStation and then PS2 I think we had all my mates had twisted metal one and 55 00:06:09,200 --> 00:06:14,840 two on the PlayStation and was it it was twisted mess who pardon me black on 56 00:06:14,840 --> 00:06:18,000 yeah station to wasn't it that's right and they were just good games that you 57 00:06:18,000 --> 00:06:23,120 had pulled out a party and did massive multiplayer carnage so how they turn it 58 00:06:23,120 --> 00:06:27,960 into a TV series actually quite clever 59 00:06:27,960 --> 00:06:35,200 she had done the truck truck truck thousand one one one all night long 60 00:06:35,200 --> 00:06:42,400 let me see like it with the big go baby let your booty go 61 00:06:42,400 --> 00:06:49,280 then girl you want to show this over here God 62 00:06:49,280 --> 00:06:53,520 don't lie to me other than that watched a bit more trick a little bit of 63 00:06:53,520 --> 00:07:00,000 standard kind of TNG and I've also finally just as Netflix is saying it's 64 00:07:00,000 --> 00:07:04,760 getting ready to leave so I've got to actually finish it the latest spider-man 65 00:07:04,760 --> 00:07:12,440 film spider-pig spider-pig does whatever a spider-pig does can you swing from a 66 00:07:12,440 --> 00:07:19,960 web no we can't he's a pig look out he is a spider-pig hadn't seen it at the 67 00:07:19,960 --> 00:07:24,480 cinema mr. missed it and just haven't had a chance to sit down and watch it 68 00:07:24,480 --> 00:07:30,160 and quite enjoying it so far it's not bad yeah I mean it's I like the idea 69 00:07:30,160 --> 00:07:37,440 it's basically into the spider-verse but a in real life version of it so we've 70 00:07:37,440 --> 00:07:43,120 got our latest Tom Holland spider-man and then we've got Toby McGuire and 71 00:07:43,120 --> 00:07:49,080 whatever his name is Bob for bunkhouse do you think show business puts 72 00:07:49,080 --> 00:07:53,440 extraordinary strain on a marriage I think any job that takes you away from 73 00:07:53,440 --> 00:07:59,760 your spouse does that I was away from my wife two years ago yes 1992 74 00:07:59,760 --> 00:08:06,320 for 12 weeks three months abroad and I got back to Gatwick and I phoned her to 75 00:08:06,320 --> 00:08:10,080 say I'm coming home from the airport and I picked up the phone and it was 76 00:08:10,080 --> 00:08:14,560 shaking in my hand and I thought what I'm afraid to speak to my own wife and I 77 00:08:14,560 --> 00:08:18,760 put it down that I tried to sort it out in my mind and I realized I was afraid 78 00:08:18,760 --> 00:08:22,360 that she had made a regime for herself a daily routine in my absence and I 79 00:08:22,360 --> 00:08:25,600 wouldn't fit back in and so I pulled myself together and I spoke to her 80 00:08:25,600 --> 00:08:32,680 eventually and she was so loving she was so affectionate on the phone that I drove 81 00:08:32,680 --> 00:08:37,080 home faster than I should have done I stopped for some red roses and some pink 82 00:08:37,080 --> 00:08:40,920 champagne that's how soppy I was feeling and I got to my house and the front door 83 00:08:40,920 --> 00:08:44,560 wasn't closed to me it was wonderful and sometimes we need these reassurances in 84 00:08:44,560 --> 00:08:47,240 our relationship the front door was wide open to me and my wife wasn't waiting 85 00:08:47,240 --> 00:08:50,560 downstairs for me if you know what I mean and it was a wonderful welcome home 86 00:08:50,560 --> 00:08:53,360 and I don't want to go into details but she was she was upstairs waiting for me 87 00:08:53,360 --> 00:08:58,400 and if you follow what I'm saying don't look as if you do 88 00:08:58,400 --> 00:09:02,600 don't go to me and and my wife was well I'll be specific she was in the bedroom 89 00:09:02,600 --> 00:09:06,520 I mean well she was on the bed I mean how clear do you want this I spelled this 90 00:09:06,520 --> 00:09:11,080 out for you she was spread eagle on the bed 91 00:09:11,720 --> 00:09:18,800 wrists tied to the bed head I said we've been learning some saucy tricks she said 92 00:09:18,800 --> 00:09:24,920 we've been burgled your stupid body monkey space man spider-man bloke who 93 00:09:24,920 --> 00:09:29,480 came from the second set of films you know how I love just recasting and just 94 00:09:29,480 --> 00:09:34,680 starting a series again what's his name I have no idea Garfield something 95 00:09:34,680 --> 00:09:37,200 Garfield 96 00:09:40,120 --> 00:09:43,880 Garfield played the other one and they've turned up in it now as spider-man 97 00:09:43,880 --> 00:09:48,020 it's it's very much into the spider-verse sort of thing because then 98 00:09:48,020 --> 00:09:53,720 you've also got all the bad guys have come over to Tom Holland universe and 99 00:09:53,720 --> 00:09:58,120 quite cool really nice because it's all the original actors as well yeah I 100 00:09:58,120 --> 00:09:59,880 remember watching that one I quite like that one too 101 00:09:59,880 --> 00:10:07,880 Andrew Garfield that's it just a quick zip back to Twister Mel Black that the 102 00:10:07,880 --> 00:10:13,640 credits for that when you complete it it's got paint it black as the song 103 00:10:13,640 --> 00:10:18,680 original Rolling Stones cover or original Rolling Stones awesome and 104 00:10:18,680 --> 00:10:25,360 that's the first time I actually ever heard it no yeah oh my that's I mean I 105 00:10:25,360 --> 00:10:31,040 was it's quite old painted black as the the the game Twister Mel Black I think 106 00:10:31,040 --> 00:10:37,200 yeah let's see my dad's got it on record 99 2000 my dad's got it on record but 107 00:10:37,200 --> 00:10:42,120 yeah for some reason I'd never heard it before oh such a oh love it one of my 108 00:10:42,120 --> 00:10:48,760 favorite songs by the stones but uh well it's mine too but as we know I was super 109 00:10:48,760 --> 00:10:53,520 into a garage oh of course you were super into garage early teens but of 110 00:10:53,520 --> 00:10:58,080 course don't forget painted black then came out on guitar hero 2 or 3 mm-hmm I 111 00:10:58,080 --> 00:11:02,080 think as well which was always good fun to play a really fun one on there too 112 00:11:02,080 --> 00:11:15,600 isn't it 113 00:11:32,080 --> 00:11:48,240 is there a guitar hero in you guitar hero 3 legends of rock rated t for 10 114 00:11:48,240 --> 00:11:51,880 anyway sorry this is really not sci-fi how about you what sci-fi have you 115 00:11:51,880 --> 00:11:56,120 watched we've been watching three body problems which is certainly a sci-fi 116 00:11:56,120 --> 00:12:00,640 it's got aliens in it of course it's sci-fi it's got Kiko yeah and Kiko's 117 00:12:00,640 --> 00:12:06,200 now I see you take a guess the actress just send you a picture some old Chinese 118 00:12:06,200 --> 00:12:13,320 lady and Kiko O'Brien it was yeah they've made her look old I've discovered 119 00:12:13,320 --> 00:12:22,200 they made her look older than she is because I thought yeah this is what O'Brien's 120 00:12:22,200 --> 00:12:26,840 done to you after all those years on deep space nine oh I'll tell you what 121 00:12:26,840 --> 00:12:30,320 actually I'm sorry carry on about three body problem and that you know I'll tell 122 00:12:30,320 --> 00:12:33,200 you this in a minute well that's kind of really I don't because I would like you 123 00:12:33,200 --> 00:12:37,880 to watch it because I think you would like it anything else is spoilers so 124 00:12:37,880 --> 00:12:42,200 it's got aliens in it that's all you really need to know eight episodes 125 00:12:42,200 --> 00:12:45,840 there's hopefully it's gonna be more apparently it's a massive deal in China 126 00:12:45,840 --> 00:12:52,120 they like I was gonna tell you this the Kofi chat we were going to be doing I 127 00:12:52,120 --> 00:12:56,000 was gonna tell you the story of the what happened in real life to do with the 128 00:12:56,000 --> 00:13:01,560 creators of it we won't do it here I can save that for another Kofi chat so 129 00:13:01,560 --> 00:13:05,280 incentive for people to come to the next one yeah definitely now this will make 130 00:13:05,280 --> 00:13:10,320 you laugh I'm now waiting to laugh this better make me laugh you've prepared oh 131 00:13:10,320 --> 00:13:18,920 I'm sure it will so back in 2015 somebody called Dan Willie 84 put up on 132 00:13:18,920 --> 00:13:24,920 IMDB start that up no no no no what Dan Willie 84 did something on IMDB called 133 00:13:24,920 --> 00:13:29,640 Star Trek Deep Space Nine reboot cast now the reason I bring that up is 134 00:13:29,640 --> 00:13:34,160 because someone had put a picture of the lead character that they've lit the lead 135 00:13:34,160 --> 00:13:40,640 actor sorry a Cisco up as an April Fool yesterday well the first sorry saying 136 00:13:40,640 --> 00:13:46,620 paramount confirms Deep Space Nine coming back reboot with do you want to 137 00:13:46,620 --> 00:13:53,660 guess who's playing Cisco of course remember this isn't real okay so it's 138 00:13:53,660 --> 00:14:02,640 gonna be like it's Samuel L Jackson a pretty cool then I'm just looking at 139 00:14:02,640 --> 00:14:05,560 this other list because obviously that's where someone's got the idea from 140 00:14:05,560 --> 00:14:15,360 Keira Knightley Robert Patrick oh god Ian Gruffard I've got no idea is a 141 00:14:15,360 --> 00:14:20,160 Welsh actor Rachel Nickar who's Jenna Coleman Dave Battista 142 00:14:20,160 --> 00:14:27,400 Eamonn Hollins who's he doing who's he gonna be playing the one that sits at 143 00:14:27,400 --> 00:14:35,200 the bar all the time probably Jaden Smith awful and Steve Buscemi I'd love to 144 00:14:35,200 --> 00:14:42,560 know who Steve Buscemi is gonna be quark yeah okay it'd be a good quark I'd like 145 00:14:42,560 --> 00:14:46,760 Samuel L Jackson as Cisco can you imagine that that's it I've done it with these 146 00:14:46,760 --> 00:14:54,000 Kardashians on this motherfucking space station Kardashians Kardashians yeah 147 00:14:54,000 --> 00:14:58,680 sorry get off our bloody space station we'll have the Kardashians over the 148 00:14:58,680 --> 00:15:08,160 Kardashians yeah get out of here Kim get back into that wormhole that sounds like 149 00:15:08,160 --> 00:15:12,960 a euphemism doesn't it let's move on oh yeah moving on 150 00:15:12,960 --> 00:15:20,720 accessing library computer data right so we were saying questions on Twitter from 151 00:15:20,720 --> 00:15:30,960 Karen and Leighton and Karen's question led me to a little quiz so Karen's 152 00:15:30,960 --> 00:15:39,400 question was what alien species from Trek would we choose to be and why so 153 00:15:39,400 --> 00:15:46,840 before we answer that my quiz is a magical quiz called I don't have a theme 154 00:15:46,840 --> 00:15:51,160 tune for I'm sorry I've failed you all I'm yet to create a theme tune maybe I 155 00:15:51,160 --> 00:15:58,120 can create well edit one in put it here can you just record this one more thing 156 00:15:58,120 --> 00:16:03,240 for me I'm not a performing monkey Rob and anyway your last paycheck bounced 157 00:16:03,240 --> 00:16:07,480 and that stupid pigeon mate of yours stole my credit card please my justice 158 00:16:07,480 --> 00:16:12,840 once okay fine but this is your last one 159 00:16:16,720 --> 00:16:25,440 is it Star Trek now laugh like you found it really funny right it's called is it 160 00:16:25,440 --> 00:16:34,040 Star Trek right so how this works is 10 we like the number 10 I'm gonna name 10 161 00:16:34,040 --> 00:16:40,800 races and you're gonna tell me if they're Star Trek or star not trek I 162 00:16:40,800 --> 00:16:48,000 should have thought of a pun to have there but I haven't got one star yeah I 163 00:16:48,000 --> 00:16:58,600 don't know right we're gonna start with a super easy one so Cardassian that Rob 164 00:16:58,600 --> 00:17:04,480 is Star Trek ding correct well that's when you say well actually it was spelt 165 00:17:04,480 --> 00:17:12,000 with 17 ends 1r and 12 s's so no it wasn't yeah exactly no this is just name 166 00:17:12,000 --> 00:17:21,960 a Cardassian gold a mech okay well I okay DS 9 one of the main villains in it 167 00:17:21,960 --> 00:17:26,800 yeah oh Golda Cotta even is the more is a little insight into the person who's 168 00:17:26,800 --> 00:17:33,000 running the Star Trek podcast he doesn't know that much about Star Trek just 169 00:17:33,000 --> 00:17:39,720 really likes the show and that is prime what Star Trek's about liking the show 170 00:17:39,720 --> 00:17:44,440 it's not about knowing everything oh no not if you look at the Twitter yeah well 171 00:17:44,440 --> 00:17:51,120 hmm okay next one and Dorian's their Star Trek they are Star Trek that's 172 00:17:51,120 --> 00:17:59,160 where the blue ones with a little lantern I go yeah yeah that was the guy from the 173 00:17:59,160 --> 00:18:02,960 blind engineer he was was he and Dorian yes he was and Dorian and there's a 174 00:18:02,960 --> 00:18:08,640 really good enterprise episode where they find a Vulcan listening post in a 175 00:18:08,640 --> 00:18:12,560 monastery that's the word I was looking for they find a listening post hidden 176 00:18:12,560 --> 00:18:15,640 inside the monastery and the Andorians have been saying we know it's there and 177 00:18:15,640 --> 00:18:18,720 no one believes us because it's Vulcans and it turns out the Vulcans are 178 00:18:18,720 --> 00:18:22,880 arseholes really yeah I don't want to know what they were listening to in a 179 00:18:22,880 --> 00:18:33,160 monastery next question oh that's really annoying it's also corrected it so now I 180 00:18:33,160 --> 00:18:54,360 don't know what it was actually meant to be pause the podcast while I look it up 181 00:18:54,360 --> 00:19:02,920 right so number three we've got Eben's not Star Trek not Star Trek and what do 182 00:19:02,920 --> 00:19:10,400 you think they are Eben's could you spell it for me please 183 00:19:10,400 --> 00:19:17,160 E-B-E-N-S Eben's 184 00:19:19,680 --> 00:19:26,960 Schneeba backwards I don't know no I just googled alien races and supposedly 185 00:19:26,960 --> 00:19:33,840 they're a real alien real quote they're real the grays slash the Eben's oh is 186 00:19:33,840 --> 00:19:38,120 that what grays are called yeah grayskin humanoid usually one meter or three point 187 00:19:38,120 --> 00:19:42,240 three foot tall hairless with large heads black almond shaped eyes nostrils 188 00:19:42,240 --> 00:19:46,640 without a nose slits for mouths no ears and three to four fingers including a 189 00:19:46,640 --> 00:19:51,780 thumb grays have been the predominant extraterrestrial beings of alleged alien 190 00:19:51,780 --> 00:19:56,920 contact since 1960s sounds like my ex 191 00:20:09,760 --> 00:20:17,800 screen did I click something maybe the algorithm is taking over yeah there's no 192 00:20:17,800 --> 00:20:22,800 button I can do for an eighth for that I can just double click stuff anyway no 193 00:20:22,800 --> 00:20:26,280 one saw that okay number four years so far three four threes you doing really 194 00:20:26,280 --> 00:20:37,760 well here and before Venusian that's Star Trek nope oh shit are you sure well 195 00:20:37,760 --> 00:20:42,840 it didn't show up in Star Trek when I was searching for it so they are from 196 00:20:42,840 --> 00:20:49,240 Space Patrol I know what space I only know this exists because of my old man 197 00:20:49,240 --> 00:20:54,120 and he always used to go for New Zealand's they have the facility never 198 00:20:54,120 --> 00:20:59,800 to forget because that's the same they used to do in Space Patrol oh okay it's 199 00:20:59,800 --> 00:21:05,200 one of those kind of era of fireball with XL five and so on okay no fair enough 200 00:21:05,200 --> 00:21:14,200 I'll accept my mistake one two three four number five Tholian oh no that's 201 00:21:14,200 --> 00:21:20,200 that's Star Trek because that's from the original series the Tholian oh god what 202 00:21:20,200 --> 00:21:26,080 was it Tholian web or something correct it is real well done TJ I'm just gonna 203 00:21:26,080 --> 00:21:32,560 double check who the Tholians are literally had a list of them yeah it's 204 00:21:32,560 --> 00:21:36,280 definitely Tholians were a crystalline based non-humanoid species from Alpha 205 00:21:36,280 --> 00:21:44,480 Quadrant the original series the Tholian web booyah booyah well done next one the 206 00:21:44,480 --> 00:21:52,620 Tellarite oh god right no I know that name as well but is it Star Trek is it 207 00:21:52,620 --> 00:22:00,280 Star Trek yes it's Star Trek yeah it is Star Trek they're funny looking things 208 00:22:00,280 --> 00:22:04,920 they're kind of like pigs I'm just trying to think of where the Tellarite 209 00:22:04,920 --> 00:22:10,920 come from then are they oh their original series as well that's why I 210 00:22:10,920 --> 00:22:14,820 can't picture them yeah the the masks were quite disconcerting on those 211 00:22:14,820 --> 00:22:20,800 because the eyes were hidden yeah scary looking things yeah nasty actually 212 00:22:20,800 --> 00:22:32,120 right next one Grongs not Star Trek no I made it up that's gonna be one that we 213 00:22:32,120 --> 00:22:37,000 use in the USS shit show the Grong the Grong why not I think it sounds a good 214 00:22:37,000 --> 00:22:42,560 name actually yeah it sounds a lot like the Gorn the Grong watch out for that 215 00:22:42,560 --> 00:22:46,920 wrong long the schlong wrong right well you've heard it here first that's what 216 00:22:46,920 --> 00:22:53,400 they're gonna be don't go near the Grong schlong the massive penis alien race 217 00:22:53,400 --> 00:22:58,920 that came to board the Enterprise in their giant phallic spaceship yeah 218 00:22:58,920 --> 00:23:04,000 called the schlong the Grong schlong the USS Grong schlong so their next one 219 00:23:04,000 --> 00:23:12,960 Jadoon are the Jadoons but that's the space police rhinos that is well done I 220 00:23:12,960 --> 00:23:16,740 was almost so I don't know why I'm surprised you got the Rhino bit but yeah 221 00:23:16,740 --> 00:23:21,200 space police rhinos they're in quite a few of the more recent ones like yeah 222 00:23:21,200 --> 00:23:26,400 they turned up in let's see I think they appear in Ecclestone they appear in 223 00:23:26,400 --> 00:23:30,840 David Tennant do you they appear in Ecclestone I can't remember if they do 224 00:23:30,840 --> 00:23:34,080 or if they don't but I know they're definitely tenant they're definitely 225 00:23:34,080 --> 00:23:40,760 Smith era as well I think also in the Sarah Jane adventures I think they're 226 00:23:40,760 --> 00:23:45,000 actually just in the first few episodes of the tenant ones I don't I'm not so 227 00:23:45,000 --> 00:23:50,160 sure they're in Ecclestone I could be wrong because they just Ecclestone 228 00:23:50,160 --> 00:23:56,120 seemed a bit more serious whereas the Jadoon are almost a bit funny oh I miss 229 00:23:56,120 --> 00:24:00,880 the Ecclestone I miss the Ecclestone ones too he does do the audiobooks though 230 00:24:00,880 --> 00:24:05,600 yeah stuff audio series and things I'm sorry very very quickly diverting off 231 00:24:05,600 --> 00:24:11,200 this did you see or hear now Disney Plus have their sticky fingers into Doctor 232 00:24:11,200 --> 00:24:19,720 Who they are doing a series of shorts with Matt Smith and Karen Gillan oh 233 00:24:19,720 --> 00:24:28,000 wicked that's cool I David Tennant honestly I really really enjoyed as the 234 00:24:28,000 --> 00:24:33,400 doctor Matt Smith very close third Ecclestone still my favorite I know 235 00:24:33,400 --> 00:24:39,480 people yeah say why do you because I liked Ecclestone's portrayal of it but 236 00:24:39,480 --> 00:24:48,240 yeah I think Smith I was worried then saw him do it and thought he's brilliant 237 00:24:48,240 --> 00:24:54,760 yeah I we've said this before on the main show the only reason I didn't like 238 00:24:54,760 --> 00:25:00,480 Jodie Whittaker was the writing was rubbish I thought it was the writing let 239 00:25:00,480 --> 00:25:05,920 hers down she was a good doctor and the writing in my opinion was crap yes 240 00:25:05,920 --> 00:25:11,040 whereas the guy the new guy the specials were brilliant I really enjoyed the 241 00:25:11,040 --> 00:25:15,760 specials of the new guy so I'm gonna watch him when he does it yeah how they 242 00:25:15,760 --> 00:25:24,120 go on right anyway Jadoon done Delton Delta not Trek not Trek 243 00:25:24,120 --> 00:25:29,880 interesting has someone not been listening to the USS shits show to hear 244 00:25:29,880 --> 00:25:36,400 the Deltons being mentioned when we have the Deltons mention the Ferengi played 245 00:25:36,400 --> 00:25:47,080 by styles yes the Delton fornication palace because the Deltons are a sexy 246 00:25:47,080 --> 00:25:51,720 sexy Star Trek race oh no they're not the ones that run everywhere and just 247 00:25:51,720 --> 00:25:56,120 wear their pants are they I they try to kill much about that I really wish the 248 00:25:56,120 --> 00:26:01,640 episode there's an episode it obviously it's got Ryker in it I think they just 249 00:26:01,640 --> 00:26:05,200 try and have sex with everybody all the time I'm sure it's next generation 250 00:26:05,200 --> 00:26:10,480 yes no I'm looking up I know who the Deltons are now and I should have known 251 00:26:10,480 --> 00:26:15,520 that Delta and she appears in the very first film the motion picture mm-hmm oh 252 00:26:15,520 --> 00:26:21,040 crap yeah I should have known that yeah all that rule 34 stuff you're going on 253 00:26:21,040 --> 00:26:31,760 over there you should have got that one oh yeah last one okay species 90210 I so 254 00:26:31,760 --> 00:26:36,400 want that to be track but we know it's not Star Trek no do you know what they 255 00:26:36,400 --> 00:26:42,160 actually are species we get it wrong every time don't look up no no no no no 256 00:26:42,160 --> 00:26:56,520 species seven no nine no one oh Miranda's behind me she knows what is it 257 00:26:56,520 --> 00:27:01,840 yeah what's what's the what's the real species you know I know two when I was 258 00:27:01,840 --> 00:27:06,880 the fake name I made up so what's the real the real name in Voyager it's for 259 00:27:06,880 --> 00:27:13,240 let four numbers it's four letters oh no four letters eight four seven two oh god 260 00:27:13,240 --> 00:27:19,920 damn it I'd never got that too yeah do you know they are they're the the 261 00:27:19,920 --> 00:27:24,360 aquatic fluidic space yeah the fluidic space creatures that fight the Borg the 262 00:27:24,360 --> 00:27:29,720 end of Voyager she's kicking herself now because that's the episode she showed me 263 00:27:29,720 --> 00:27:38,800 because I'd never seen the last two episodes of Voyager ever so fun fact I'd seen 264 00:27:38,800 --> 00:27:43,400 everything in Voyager apart from the the last like maybe three or four episodes 265 00:27:43,400 --> 00:27:47,560 and it wasn't so Miranda been dating for a long time then she brought did you buy 266 00:27:47,560 --> 00:27:52,560 the series for me or did I get them yeah I brought me the DVDs and then so I could 267 00:27:52,560 --> 00:27:57,720 actually watch last episodes because at the time there was no oh streaming 268 00:27:57,720 --> 00:28:04,880 didn't exist we had to get it on DVD I won the old David yeah so yeah we watched 269 00:28:04,880 --> 00:28:08,760 some DVD and that's probably how I'd watch them again to be fair 270 00:28:08,760 --> 00:28:13,760 is that how many should you get you got that one correct so I'll let you get 271 00:28:13,760 --> 00:28:18,040 that correct even though you didn't do eight four seven two so you got two 272 00:28:18,040 --> 00:28:22,120 wrongs you got eight out of ten oh I don't feel too bad about that good yeah 273 00:28:22,120 --> 00:28:31,920 well winning well done okay so back to actually the questions Karen asked us 274 00:28:31,920 --> 00:28:37,440 what alien species from Trek would you actually want to be and why and you're 275 00:28:37,440 --> 00:28:41,640 allowed to have cross species is quite specific here cross species choices are 276 00:28:41,640 --> 00:28:46,320 obviously allowed okay so does that mean cross species as in two species have 277 00:28:46,320 --> 00:28:55,680 done the old I'm not asking or are we talking about sex with you've been 278 00:28:55,680 --> 00:29:02,520 transplanted with just just how like I was gonna be a book Borg or kid like 279 00:29:02,520 --> 00:29:09,800 how Spock is half human half yeah okay that's yes I'm assuming she means I 280 00:29:09,800 --> 00:29:12,840 don't want to put words into Karen's mouth 281 00:29:12,840 --> 00:29:16,960 fair enough no do both because she might be talking about which ones would you 282 00:29:16,960 --> 00:29:24,000 have sex with so you can do I don't know she might be well both answers gotta be 283 00:29:24,000 --> 00:29:33,960 the ball green yeah they bring their own toys they've got clip-ons take one arm 284 00:29:33,960 --> 00:29:36,960 off and put on whatever they want 285 00:29:36,960 --> 00:29:47,600 like screw on appendages isn't it that's what you do whatever that's what you 286 00:29:47,600 --> 00:29:55,200 did I forgot my cock can I borrow yours yeah hang on a moment catch thank you 287 00:29:55,200 --> 00:30:02,000 that's what they call Bob don't they actually it beats six or three please 288 00:30:02,000 --> 00:30:14,560 pass please pass me the cock of one board okay two four nine six do you have the 289 00:30:14,560 --> 00:30:23,000 sterilizing gel just use your Nanos just use your nano sterilizer oh there anyway 290 00:30:23,000 --> 00:30:28,400 um honestly I'd be be the Borg let's face it you get loads of knowledge 291 00:30:28,400 --> 00:30:36,960 you've always got friends you got a ship that can't be destroyed easily quite 292 00:30:36,960 --> 00:30:42,800 sexy Queen yeah but you're not interested in you you get sleep quite 293 00:30:42,800 --> 00:30:48,920 easily yeah yeah yeah look yourself I mean I would be the lower decks of 294 00:30:48,920 --> 00:31:04,240 Borg I'll be the one skiving didn't they do a lower decks Borg in lower decks I think they did yeah and were they all just like sleeping in the thing I would I would 295 00:31:04,240 --> 00:31:18,680 basically be the lower decks of Borg is this really your answer yeah I would choose the Borg I think that's so shit can you imagine how easy social situations would be you don't need to say 296 00:31:18,680 --> 00:31:22,280 anything we all know what's going on to be fair I've got to be careful because I 297 00:31:22,280 --> 00:31:29,440 haven't told you mine oh god and mine is so obvious why I've chosen it I'll just be Vulcan 298 00:31:29,440 --> 00:31:41,400 oh really is that because you want pomfah every 14 years or whatever it is no just I want to be Vulcan at a very specific time period 299 00:31:41,400 --> 00:31:50,360 to poll to poll by any chance yeah maybe you want to poll to poll poll to poll 300 00:31:50,360 --> 00:32:02,400 I want to go poll to poll it would even be that if you know right so you're Borg 301 00:32:02,400 --> 00:32:07,040 what race were you that got turned into Borg that's a good question it would 302 00:32:07,040 --> 00:32:11,400 probably have to be human just because it would take away all of my social anxiety 303 00:32:11,400 --> 00:32:18,160 it's the best campaign they can do join the Borg we will take away social 304 00:32:18,160 --> 00:32:24,040 anxiety social problems just come and join us so many people would sign up 305 00:32:24,040 --> 00:32:33,040 it'd be the biggest queue insert advert here for joining the Borg yeah it would be like one of the 306 00:32:33,040 --> 00:32:38,040 Helldivers Trayless but for the Borg 307 00:33:03,040 --> 00:33:11,040 today and gave your choice of eye and arm accessories, mild skin irritation and loss of individuality are common side effects when joining the collective. 308 00:33:11,040 --> 00:33:15,040 Friends and family may not want to come near you for fear of being isolated. 309 00:33:15,040 --> 00:33:22,040 Yeah no that honest to god I would be the Borg. Oh god he's gone. 310 00:33:22,040 --> 00:33:28,040 Because I can see you too just like me the Borg it's obvious. 311 00:33:28,040 --> 00:33:33,040 Can you imagine no need for the hairdressing no need for shaving. 312 00:33:33,040 --> 00:33:38,040 You've really thought about this. I'm really glad you thought about it. 313 00:33:38,040 --> 00:33:42,040 Karen can't complain that you haven't given her a good answer. 314 00:33:42,040 --> 00:33:45,040 If Karen comes near me she'll be assimilating. 315 00:33:45,040 --> 00:33:55,040 And then she'll know all the answers to the questions because she'll know what's in my head and I'll know what's in hers and eventually we'll know what's in yours Rob. 316 00:33:55,040 --> 00:34:00,040 Oh god. 317 00:34:00,040 --> 00:34:07,040 I'm sorry ladies and gents I really don't mean to make him break like this but for some reason I have the knack. 318 00:34:07,040 --> 00:34:12,040 I was right this episode wouldn't have enough. 319 00:34:12,040 --> 00:34:17,040 Oh Robert. Oh my god the Borg. 320 00:34:17,040 --> 00:34:21,040 Hang on oh we have big square ships and we have spheres. 321 00:34:21,040 --> 00:34:25,040 You've only got two kind of ships to remember. Yeah exactly. 322 00:34:25,040 --> 00:34:32,040 You can never forget because you've got quadrupa terabytes of data in the background that you can always never forget anything. 323 00:34:32,040 --> 00:34:35,040 You're always on time. 324 00:34:35,040 --> 00:34:38,040 Do you think they've all got little named alcoves as well. 325 00:34:38,040 --> 00:34:44,040 Why are you in my bed. Sorry I thought it was mine. No you're on the wrong side of the ship you idiot. 326 00:34:44,040 --> 00:34:50,040 I think they hot desk. Oh it's hot desking. Yeah it's hot desking and work from home. 327 00:34:50,040 --> 00:34:57,040 I think when they're sleeping they can they can remote in and do cloud management of their own. 328 00:34:57,040 --> 00:35:06,040 Of their payrolls and stuff. Hang on a moment I've just got to log on to Sage. 329 00:35:06,040 --> 00:35:11,040 Oh yeah sorry we did forget to pay you I'm so sorry it'll be in next month's paycheck. 330 00:35:11,040 --> 00:35:16,040 What's that you don't like that? Tough ship with a Borg. What are we going to spend money on anyway? 331 00:35:16,040 --> 00:35:21,040 Tough. Have you got to take out your union money as well? 332 00:35:21,040 --> 00:35:26,040 Health insurance who needs it? We'll just chop off whatever's broken. 333 00:35:26,040 --> 00:35:31,040 Oh my god. Yeah well I mean mine was just as serious as yours. 334 00:35:31,040 --> 00:35:41,040 I just want it to be in the same time period and the same races to poll to really heighten my chances of pomfah. 335 00:35:41,040 --> 00:35:46,040 So in relation to that question as well she also wants to know who your best mate would be. 336 00:35:46,040 --> 00:35:56,040 Can I just point out you've chosen to be Vulcan. I'm glad I'm on my personal profile of Edge and not my work profile of Edge. 337 00:35:56,040 --> 00:36:03,040 I've asked how often do Vulcans have sex and Copyle has come back with an answer. 338 00:36:03,040 --> 00:36:10,040 Never. Every seven years because of that's the mating ritual which I believe is pomfah. 339 00:36:10,040 --> 00:36:17,040 I don't think that's true because in strange new worlds I reckon Spock's going with his missus a lot. 340 00:36:17,040 --> 00:36:21,040 I disagree. Nurse Chapel is yeah. 341 00:36:21,040 --> 00:36:29,040 That law would have come into place because I abused normal sexual relations with Paul. 342 00:36:29,040 --> 00:36:34,040 So then the actual government had to come and say no this is too dangerous. 343 00:36:34,040 --> 00:36:40,040 They're destroying the planet with their love and now we have to just limit everyone to seven years. 344 00:36:40,040 --> 00:36:44,040 Oh my god this really does go into like depth here. 345 00:36:44,040 --> 00:36:48,040 Look at those gross people that think about it. 346 00:36:48,040 --> 00:36:52,040 On Stack Exchange you know that classic place where you normally get IT support from. 347 00:36:52,040 --> 00:37:00,040 It's the usual place that you find exactly the problem you have and then someone says don't worry I fixed it and then don't say how they fixed it. 348 00:37:00,040 --> 00:37:04,040 It's like thanks so much. 349 00:37:04,040 --> 00:37:08,040 Well how do they solve the problem of reproduction when sex is not possible? 350 00:37:08,040 --> 00:37:13,040 And oh my god who is it here? This is Valorum. 351 00:37:13,040 --> 00:37:15,040 Turkey Bases. 352 00:37:15,040 --> 00:37:22,040 There is a misconception among fans that Vulcans only mate during the pomfah, a seven yearly ritual in which they must mate or die. 353 00:37:22,040 --> 00:37:37,040 Trek writer Dorothy C Fontana stated in an interview that Vulcans are both capable and willing to have sex outside of this period, presumably for the purposes of procreation and also to cement emotional closeness. 354 00:37:37,040 --> 00:37:39,040 And oh my god they then go and quote. 355 00:37:39,040 --> 00:37:46,040 I don't want to know. I think the pomfah thing was just like an evolutionary thing that forces them to do it. They have to do it. 356 00:37:46,040 --> 00:37:48,040 They're driven to do it. 357 00:37:48,040 --> 00:37:51,040 Yeah I live pomfah. 358 00:37:51,040 --> 00:37:54,040 Yeah, for Bob every day is pomfah as a Vulcan. 359 00:37:54,040 --> 00:37:57,040 He's the grandest of Vulcans out there. 360 00:37:57,040 --> 00:38:01,040 The anagram of pomfah is Rob. 361 00:38:01,040 --> 00:38:08,040 There's the film The Final Frontier where they basically go and find God. 362 00:38:08,040 --> 00:38:17,040 And basically it's Spock's brother turns up and he believes in God and that emotion should be released rather than being holding back emotion. 363 00:38:17,040 --> 00:38:21,040 You're basically that version of the Vulcans. You want them to release things. 364 00:38:21,040 --> 00:38:25,040 I'm releasing emotions every day. 365 00:38:25,040 --> 00:38:29,040 On the holodeck, where does the moisture go? We now know. 366 00:38:29,040 --> 00:38:34,040 Yeah the new news are constantly recharging. They're busy, busy, busy. 367 00:38:34,040 --> 00:38:37,040 Right anyway moving on, moving on. 368 00:38:37,040 --> 00:38:39,040 Got to get past the image of you as a borg. 369 00:38:39,040 --> 00:38:42,040 No, I'd be a good borg. 370 00:38:42,040 --> 00:38:47,040 It's a good little borg. It's a good little borg TJ. T of J. 371 00:38:47,040 --> 00:38:53,040 Now you'd be T of J 84. 372 00:38:53,040 --> 00:38:55,040 Yes, I can. 373 00:38:55,040 --> 00:38:59,040 That'd be you, wouldn't you? 374 00:38:59,040 --> 00:39:05,040 She also wants to know who your Trek bestie be because she thinks hers would be quark. 375 00:39:05,040 --> 00:39:08,040 Or quark. Are you meant to say his name? Quark? 376 00:39:08,040 --> 00:39:14,040 It's quark I think. But people have said quark before I think. But yeah, quark is the official pronunciation. 377 00:39:14,040 --> 00:39:17,040 It might be how it's spelled, quark. 378 00:39:17,040 --> 00:39:22,040 So I have wrote Tendi. 379 00:39:22,040 --> 00:39:24,040 Yeah another one you fancy. 380 00:39:24,040 --> 00:39:32,040 And we've said this before. I don't fancy her. I like her personality but she's a cartoon TJ. 381 00:39:32,040 --> 00:39:36,040 Jessica Bunny anyone? 382 00:39:36,040 --> 00:39:41,040 I wasn't ever into that. I just the cartoon stuff. I don't get those people who are into animes and things. 383 00:39:41,040 --> 00:39:43,040 I honestly don't get it. 384 00:39:43,040 --> 00:39:47,040 I like watching anime but I don't understand why people like that. 385 00:39:47,040 --> 00:39:49,040 But you're not there for the short skirts and pants up the bumcheats. 386 00:39:49,040 --> 00:39:56,040 I'm there for the really terrible murders. Great fighting and death and blood and guts. 387 00:39:56,040 --> 00:39:58,040 The pure brutalism of anime. 388 00:39:58,040 --> 00:40:04,040 That's why I really like Kamitsu no Yaiba. There's so much cool demon slaying in that. It's brilliant. 389 00:40:04,040 --> 00:40:09,040 So Tendi. I think that she's hilarious. 390 00:40:09,040 --> 00:40:16,040 And she's like innocent to the ways of like as you know from that episode where she thinks she's made a dog. 391 00:40:16,040 --> 00:40:19,040 When really she's just made this horrendous creature. 392 00:40:19,040 --> 00:40:26,040 That's the kind of stuff I would openly encourage all the time. 393 00:40:26,040 --> 00:40:29,040 Who would I be best buddies with? 394 00:40:29,040 --> 00:40:35,040 I'd quite like to be like buddies with someone like Trip from Enterprise. 395 00:40:35,040 --> 00:40:39,040 Kind of early days of Star Trek I guess. 396 00:40:39,040 --> 00:40:41,040 He's cool though. 397 00:40:41,040 --> 00:40:48,040 But if I came into the modern era, Boimler is more likely the one that I'd end up being friends with. 398 00:40:48,040 --> 00:40:54,040 When exactly like him I'd be trying it with everyone but he'd be the one I'd end up with. 399 00:40:54,040 --> 00:41:02,040 I wouldn't mind being mates with you know what Geordie actually. 400 00:41:02,040 --> 00:41:08,040 I reckon Geordie would be a good love to hang out with when he's not being sexually predatorial. 401 00:41:08,040 --> 00:41:10,040 You wouldn't want to do... 402 00:41:10,040 --> 00:41:13,040 I'd like to think I could guide him in the right way. 403 00:41:13,040 --> 00:41:19,040 You don't want to do some pottery or some painting with that muscly security guy from Lower Decks. What's his name? 404 00:41:19,040 --> 00:41:24,040 Oh... Jax. 405 00:41:24,040 --> 00:41:27,040 He wouldn't want to be his baby bear. 406 00:41:27,040 --> 00:41:30,040 I'm warming to the idea. 407 00:41:30,040 --> 00:41:35,040 I'm warming to it actually. We could both be little baby bears. 408 00:41:35,040 --> 00:41:37,040 That's a really tough question actually. 409 00:41:37,040 --> 00:41:43,040 I don't know because there's so many people within the Star Trek universe I would absolutely love to be friends with. 410 00:41:43,040 --> 00:41:48,040 Anyone in Discovery I'd like to shoot but there you go. 411 00:41:48,040 --> 00:41:51,040 I know who'd be my friend. 412 00:41:51,040 --> 00:41:54,040 The Borg now known as Hugh. 413 00:41:54,040 --> 00:41:57,040 No, Seven of Nine would be your friend. 414 00:41:57,040 --> 00:41:59,040 No, she wouldn't. 415 00:41:59,040 --> 00:42:03,040 She'd take one look at me and go, no. 416 00:42:03,040 --> 00:42:06,040 She would hate us, yeah. 417 00:42:06,040 --> 00:42:09,040 I don't get your jokes. I don't get your humour. 418 00:42:09,040 --> 00:42:12,040 You're looking at my tits, you're not looking at my face. 419 00:42:12,040 --> 00:42:15,040 Yeah, I'm up here. 420 00:42:15,040 --> 00:42:22,040 Rob, I saw you sniffing my alcove earlier. 421 00:42:22,040 --> 00:42:27,040 Stop cleaning my sleeping quarters, Rob. 422 00:42:27,040 --> 00:42:32,040 That security camera was not necessary. 423 00:42:32,040 --> 00:42:38,040 Harry Kim has already installed a crotch height communication camera. 424 00:42:38,040 --> 00:42:44,040 Why do all our microphones spell? 425 00:42:44,040 --> 00:42:53,040 Every time I'm around you, Rob, I lose three hours. I don't know what happens. 426 00:42:53,040 --> 00:42:56,040 When I wake up clean and smell nothing. 427 00:42:56,040 --> 00:43:01,040 I'm sorry, this is just going way too right. 428 00:43:01,040 --> 00:43:04,040 It's just going to be a whole episode of me laughing. 429 00:43:04,040 --> 00:43:06,040 You know what, Cisco. 430 00:43:06,040 --> 00:43:08,040 Get rid of all Cisco. 431 00:43:08,040 --> 00:43:13,040 I would absolutely would be mates with Cisco because I reckon you could have fun having a drink with him. 432 00:43:13,040 --> 00:43:16,040 You could have fun doing kind of sporty fun activities. 433 00:43:16,040 --> 00:43:20,040 And you also know he'd have your back in a shit situation. 434 00:43:20,040 --> 00:43:24,040 He's the only one that dealt with Q properly. 435 00:43:24,040 --> 00:43:29,040 Janeway just wants to shag him. 436 00:43:29,040 --> 00:43:31,040 Picard wants to be his friend. 437 00:43:31,040 --> 00:43:33,040 And then you've got Cisco just lumps him one. 438 00:43:33,040 --> 00:43:37,040 Name someone who Janeway doesn't want to have sex with. 439 00:43:37,040 --> 00:43:39,040 Dirty Kim. 440 00:43:39,040 --> 00:43:45,040 I'm not so sure. I'm sure we can find an episode in the bank. 441 00:43:45,040 --> 00:43:47,040 He'd have got promoted otherwise. 442 00:43:47,040 --> 00:43:50,040 He would have got that extra pip. 443 00:43:50,040 --> 00:44:00,040 Can you imagine poor Dirty Kim still a lowly, lowly unranked officer loser. 444 00:44:00,040 --> 00:44:02,040 Right, blimey. 445 00:44:02,040 --> 00:44:07,040 That's like 20 minutes of me laughing about answering one question from Karen. 446 00:44:07,040 --> 00:44:10,040 I love hearing the edit of this. 447 00:44:10,040 --> 00:44:11,040 Right. OK. 448 00:44:11,040 --> 00:44:18,040 I can't beep it like the whole of the last variety show episode where all of everything I was saying was getting beeped. 449 00:44:18,040 --> 00:44:20,040 I will leave all of this in. 450 00:44:20,040 --> 00:44:25,040 I'm disappointed there's been no reviews on good pods for that because I thought that was a really good edit. 451 00:44:25,040 --> 00:44:28,040 I think it's really funny. It's a good one. 452 00:44:28,040 --> 00:44:34,040 Right. Next question from Layton J who is at Desert Confetti on Twitter. 453 00:44:34,040 --> 00:44:41,040 So he's this goes on from some of the image stuff we were talking about a few episodes ago. 454 00:44:41,040 --> 00:44:43,040 And he is right here. 455 00:44:43,040 --> 00:44:46,040 I wonder how the image swears the Hippocratic Oath. 456 00:44:46,040 --> 00:44:53,040 Does each one take an oath at Starfleet Medical before being sent to a ship's computer or did one image take an oath and they copied him. 457 00:44:53,040 --> 00:44:58,040 What counts assuming it's taken seriously does the. 458 00:44:58,040 --> 00:45:04,040 What counts assuming it's taken seriously done with sincerity and the image seems to recall it. 459 00:45:04,040 --> 00:45:07,040 Would you reckon I bloody love that question. 460 00:45:07,040 --> 00:45:15,040 Start with I think it's a brilliant question because it opens up so many plot holes in so many things. 461 00:45:15,040 --> 00:45:22,040 I reckon each of them are programmed and have to take it before the ship leaves Star Trek or space. 462 00:45:22,040 --> 00:45:30,040 I think basically the ship gets built computer gets put in and someone goes and turns on the image to test it goes right testing you. 463 00:45:30,040 --> 00:45:35,040 Can you see me. I can see you do this do this is your library up to date. 464 00:45:35,040 --> 00:45:40,040 Right. Now I need you to tell me what the Hippocratic Oath is and now I need you to take it. 465 00:45:40,040 --> 00:45:43,040 That's kind of what Karen says she responds to it. 466 00:45:43,040 --> 00:45:48,040 Yes she's saying do they take the oath or is it programmed into them. 467 00:45:48,040 --> 00:45:58,040 Yeah I think you're right. I think that that that's in my head that's my head Canon that they get turned on and have to do it. 468 00:45:58,040 --> 00:46:07,040 Yeah I think they're turned on they have to do it and that's that's kind of where it comes from. 469 00:46:07,040 --> 00:46:14,040 My problem with it is when you come to and this is with any of the Star Trek doctors. 470 00:46:14,040 --> 00:46:20,040 When you come to things like Star Trek six the film which is the undiscovered country. 471 00:46:20,040 --> 00:46:25,040 So do you have you seen all the original Star Trek films. 472 00:46:25,040 --> 00:46:34,040 Maybe right undiscovered country basically what happens is the enterprise is forced to meet with the Klingons the Klingons say they want peace. 473 00:46:34,040 --> 00:46:43,040 They meet with a Klingon that wants peace and then suddenly the enterprise fires torpedoes and damages the bird of prey or cruise. 474 00:46:43,040 --> 00:46:46,040 Now I think it's a bird of no it's a cruiser they're on I think. 475 00:46:46,040 --> 00:46:51,040 I can't remember but anyway the Klingon that wanted peace on board dies. 476 00:46:51,040 --> 00:47:00,040 They then get well Kirk and Bones then get sent to a prison colony and it turns out that they've done that because there's Klingons on board that ship that don't want peace. 477 00:47:00,040 --> 00:47:06,040 And they're going to then go off to the peace conference and kill the lead Klingon who's going to be saying I want peace. 478 00:47:06,040 --> 00:47:08,040 So that's the story of undiscovered country. 479 00:47:08,040 --> 00:47:19,040 Now Bones in this episode after the accident of the enterprise allegedly shooting the the Klingons they beam over to offer medical help. 480 00:47:19,040 --> 00:47:20,040 Okay. 481 00:47:20,040 --> 00:47:32,040 These are Klingons and surely you would be taught at Starfleet Medical if you're taught about Klingon anatomy which I assume he has been even though he says my Klingon anatomy is shit which is fair enough. 482 00:47:32,040 --> 00:47:38,040 Actually because at that point there is no peace and why would we know about it. He says my Klingon anatomy is crap. 483 00:47:38,040 --> 00:47:47,040 Now I would have thought the Klingons would say no we don't want medical assistance from you because he needs to now die. 484 00:47:47,040 --> 00:47:53,040 Like Worf in TNG basically says oh if I'm wounded I need to die so I can have an honorable death. 485 00:47:53,040 --> 00:48:01,040 If you save my life it's not an honorable death and I'll be forever ruined by that whole experience. 486 00:48:01,040 --> 00:48:07,040 So yeah Bones goes over tries to save the Klingon doesn't manage it but still tries to. 487 00:48:07,040 --> 00:48:12,040 Now that's a problem for me because yeah that's then doing against what a race wants. 488 00:48:12,040 --> 00:48:28,040 So going to Leighton's question it's fine doing the Hippocratic Oath if you're dealing with humans but what about every other fucking Federation race that could be on a starship or that you might encounter and help. 489 00:48:28,040 --> 00:48:30,040 Do you think Starfleet has its own version. 490 00:48:30,040 --> 00:48:36,040 Well do you think the Hippocratic Oath even exists at this point. Everyone is just expected to do their best to help each other. 491 00:48:36,040 --> 00:48:39,040 I think it does. I think the spirit of it is still there. 492 00:48:39,040 --> 00:48:49,040 Well in fact no we know it does doesn't it because the EMH in Voyager says I cannot do what you're asking me to so Janeway has to do it. 493 00:48:49,040 --> 00:49:01,040 He never explicitly says why. You kind of implied that you know what's that the laws of robotics. You know is it that kind of thing it's built into him he physically can't. 494 00:49:01,040 --> 00:49:05,040 Like when he doesn't kill Tuvok he physically can't do it. 495 00:49:05,040 --> 00:49:07,040 You know whether he wants to do it or not. 496 00:49:07,040 --> 00:49:21,040 Yeah you're right so is it against his programming not against the oath he's taken. So is he physically not able to do it because his programming stops him or is he able to do it and has a choice based on that oath that he has taken. 497 00:49:21,040 --> 00:49:26,040 I think he does say though he's there to cure people not to kill them. He says something like that. 498 00:49:26,040 --> 00:49:47,040 Something along those lines and I guess actually you could also say if you look at TNG, Crusher and Pulaski have several episodes where they say you're a doctor you're meant to be healing people you're not meant to be just using them as your kind of test bed and test surgery. 499 00:49:47,040 --> 00:49:58,040 We talked about it earlier actually Hugh, I Hugh or I Borg whatever the episode name is where Beverly saves the Borg and they give them the name. 500 00:49:58,040 --> 00:50:04,040 She says my job as a doctor is to save a life and this person's life needs savings so she saves him. 501 00:50:04,040 --> 00:50:23,040 So yeah there obviously is something there but if it's anything it's got to be so much more vast or complex compared to what ours is because as I say, every Federation race is there's not every Federation race is going to agree, like I say, the Klingons. 502 00:50:23,040 --> 00:50:39,040 If you're not friends with them in TNG, we should know that actually if we're in a battle and you're going down there and I mean look I'll take you back to the ambulance days that I used to work on. If you were dealing with a major incident, you had black tickets which meant dead. 503 00:50:39,040 --> 00:50:50,040 You had red tickets which are your high priority then you had your yellow which is your next priority and then you had your green tickets which are their walking wounded you send them off over into a corner, and they get dealt with at the end. 504 00:50:50,040 --> 00:50:59,040 So the red ones typically are, they've got an injury but they can't move and the red ones are these guys are going to be dead and be a black ticket very shortly. 505 00:50:59,040 --> 00:51:10,040 So the black tickets what you did is you just walk past them as horrible as it is you just walk past them you didn't check anything because they already basically are dead or there's nothing there's literally nothing you can do just leave. 506 00:51:10,040 --> 00:51:23,040 So the short of it is, and this is a very very quick non in depth conversation towards it but basically what the black ticket says is, we've got too many casualties. 507 00:51:23,040 --> 00:51:35,040 This one is unlikely to be saved. So don't bother trying your red tickets basically take priority because an emergency scenario that you guys are putting stickers on people as you walk. 508 00:51:35,040 --> 00:51:42,040 This is like a 911 kind of situation. Yeah, what we call a major incident. 509 00:51:42,040 --> 00:51:56,040 And, yeah, I mean, the, that that's kind of where I'm getting at is in Star Trek if they had a massive battle situation, and they had four people with red tags so they are your priority. 510 00:51:56,040 --> 00:52:09,040 In theory if someone's given a Klingon a red tag, they've done the wrong job because it's in a battle, the Klingon wants to die an honorable death in battle, they should have just been black tagged and left. 511 00:52:09,040 --> 00:52:17,040 It's a really brutal way of thinking about it but it's true isn't it. No one should be beaming down going right I've got to deal with these six casualties. Oh, one of them is Klingon. 512 00:52:17,040 --> 00:52:25,040 Right, let's see what we can do. No, black tag him and walk away. How do they deal with that in next gen because I bet there's times where warps. 513 00:52:25,040 --> 00:52:36,040 In this episode, we should watch it at some point, her basically a very light plastic barrel lands on war, you hit bounces off it. 514 00:52:36,040 --> 00:52:49,040 And it breaks his neck, and he becomes paralyzed from the neck down, and the entire episode revolves around him asking people to kill him, and everyone saying no, and this high flying doctor. 515 00:52:49,040 --> 00:53:05,040 This is the prime episode actually to discuss this. He high flying doctor turns up saying, Oh, I'm here to kind of work with you for a little bit, then they deal with this mass incident where she practices and tests her own medical ideas rather than using the 516 00:53:05,040 --> 00:53:23,040 trusted way, ending up killing people. And then she persuades war to have a really dangerous never tested medical procedure, which kills him. But it turns out all along that Klingons have loads of redundant organs and he suddenly comes back to life. 517 00:53:23,040 --> 00:53:35,040 And then he can slowly learn to walk again because the procedure was a success. But then Beverly kicks her off the ship anyway saying you're a danger to my patients and you're danger to people you don't follow. In fact, yeah, you basically you don't follow the 518 00:53:35,040 --> 00:53:43,040 Hippocratic Oath. You're just trying to get ahead of yourself and getting test results doing on real people fuck off off the enterprise. Right. 519 00:53:43,040 --> 00:53:58,040 We should probably watch that episode actually. Let me look up the name very quickly. Wolf breaks his back. It is called ethics. ethics. Maybe we could watch that next. 520 00:53:58,040 --> 00:54:13,040 Yeah, let's watch that next then let me find out what that's going to be. That is the 116th episode, season five, episode 16. And it's called ethics. Yeah, it's Beverly Crusher versus a doctor called Dr. Russell. 521 00:54:13,040 --> 00:54:22,040 So we'll do that one next time. Yeah, and then the one after if we do one one after all if we have enough a question thing. It's got to be one of the stupid ones. 522 00:54:22,040 --> 00:54:34,040 Yeah, no, that's fine. But my point about it is if when we've watched ethics, you'll see what I mean. Everyone's basically been asked by wolf to kill him and they also know I can't do that, which is fine. 523 00:54:34,040 --> 00:54:42,040 They are human beings on the most part, and that just doesn't sit right with them even as a friend fine. 524 00:54:42,040 --> 00:54:55,040 I mean, maybe you'd say as a friend, you should be doing it for him, but no one does. The doctor, however, if that was a Klingon doctor, the Klingon doctor would do it. 525 00:54:55,040 --> 00:55:05,040 So the Klingon doctor would try and save him. No, the Klingon doctor would kill him, which is killing. Yeah, would kill him because he understands that he's no longer able to be an honorable warrior. 526 00:55:05,040 --> 00:55:17,040 And then it's a horrible life for him to lead as a paraplegic. Yeah, the doctor on the enterprise refuses to. So does that mean she doesn't have to follow other races choices. 527 00:55:17,040 --> 00:55:22,040 She just has to follow the human choice. And if she doesn't like it, she can just say, well, I'm not going to treat you. 528 00:55:22,040 --> 00:55:29,040 I reckon that if you're a member of Starfleet, you sign away. 529 00:55:29,040 --> 00:55:38,040 Well, when you go to a trampoline park, I understand I could die sign here. Yeah, well done. You're part of Starfleet now. Yeah, now you're part of Starfleet and we will try and save your life. 530 00:55:38,040 --> 00:55:45,040 Here's your red shirt and you get a name badge if you survive the first year or you do like an opt out tick box on your login. 531 00:55:45,040 --> 00:55:51,040 So then when when the NH comes over to you and he looks at your chart, he says, oh yeah, I see that you are. 532 00:55:51,040 --> 00:55:59,040 Oh yeah, it says if you were mortally wounded during Pomfah, I am to remove remove the belt from around your neck. 533 00:55:59,040 --> 00:56:04,040 Hide your pornography and let you die. OK, right. Fine. I can see that. 534 00:56:04,040 --> 00:56:08,040 Hang on. And it's got delete browser history. Oh, yes. Delete browser history. 535 00:56:08,040 --> 00:56:14,040 What I was going to say is, so if Klingons want to die in battle, does that mean the doctor's life is flipped? 536 00:56:14,040 --> 00:56:25,040 So whenever there's a fight in Starfleet, that's the busiest time for a doctor. But in Klingons, he can just go and just have a rest because anyone that gets hurt, they don't want to be saved. 537 00:56:25,040 --> 00:56:29,040 They want to die. So she's going, all right, great. Another battle. This guy I'm going to put my feet up. 538 00:56:29,040 --> 00:56:36,040 It's when there isn't a fight and someone steps on a rake and it smacks him in the face and breaks their nose. 539 00:56:36,040 --> 00:56:41,040 Then he's got to deal with that because he doesn't want them to get hurt then because they want to die from standing on a rake. 540 00:56:41,040 --> 00:56:44,040 Do Klingons actually have that much of a medical service? 541 00:56:44,040 --> 00:56:50,040 Because most of them, if they get hit in the face, will probably just say, oh, it was from a fight anyway, and they're not going to want it fixed. 542 00:56:50,040 --> 00:56:55,040 There must be Klingon doctors. It's probably Klingon plastic surgeons. 543 00:56:55,040 --> 00:57:02,040 Oh, yeah. Brilliant job last week. Gave a Klingon three extra ridges on his head. Really, really impressed with it. Really happy. 544 00:57:02,040 --> 00:57:07,040 He was born lacking the ridges, but I've given him some more. I gave him more ridges. 545 00:57:07,040 --> 00:57:12,040 I'm expanding out to the old Ferengi, going to give them bigger ears, bigger lobes. 546 00:57:12,040 --> 00:57:15,040 Oh, yeah. Ferengi. 547 00:57:15,040 --> 00:57:20,040 Can you imagine Ferengi doctors? It'd be like the American health care system. 548 00:57:20,040 --> 00:57:23,040 Yeah, it'd be like that times a million, wouldn't it? 549 00:57:23,040 --> 00:57:32,040 Right. Yeah. I gave you a shot of paracetamol. That's 50,000 bars of latinum, please. 550 00:57:32,040 --> 00:57:38,040 Yeah, you're going to have to go and invade another Starfleet vessel to get the latinum for this one. 551 00:57:38,040 --> 00:57:42,040 What's that? You haven't got the latinum? That's fine, because I've already taken your kidney. 552 00:57:42,040 --> 00:57:44,040 Yeah. Transporter. 553 00:57:44,040 --> 00:57:50,040 Transporter. Oh, my kidney. 554 00:57:50,040 --> 00:57:54,040 Right. I think that's enough. 555 00:57:56,040 --> 00:57:59,040 Command functions are offline. 556 00:57:59,040 --> 00:58:02,040 Come join the borg. 557 00:58:02,040 --> 00:58:07,040 Come join the borg. 558 00:58:07,040 --> 00:58:10,040 It's not Helldivers. 559 00:58:10,040 --> 00:58:15,040 I know we need to join Helldivers Anonymous. I know we do. We have a problem. 560 00:58:15,040 --> 00:58:21,040 I was going to ask if you wanted to have a quick drop before we get to bed after this. 561 00:58:21,040 --> 00:58:27,040 Just a quick drop. Just a quick one. I want to see this new ATT walker. 562 00:58:27,040 --> 00:58:31,040 Yeah, we've got to go on to like difficulty seven or eight or something to see this. 563 00:58:31,040 --> 00:58:32,040 Oh, really? 564 00:58:32,040 --> 00:58:36,040 Yeah. And the flying ones are hard and above, I think. 565 00:58:36,040 --> 00:58:41,040 They're specific missions to kill the flying things bases. 566 00:58:41,040 --> 00:58:43,040 Oh, fair enough. 567 00:58:43,040 --> 00:58:47,040 I think. I think. Right. So thank you for listening, everybody. 568 00:58:47,040 --> 00:58:49,040 Thank you. 569 00:58:49,040 --> 00:58:53,040 Yeah, thank you. If you'd like to chat to us, we are everywhere. 570 00:58:53,040 --> 00:58:59,040 We are Twitter, which is to follow the Trek stuff is at underscore untitled Trek. 571 00:58:59,040 --> 00:59:04,040 The normal variety show is at underscore channel 84. 572 00:59:04,040 --> 00:59:07,040 That's correct. Yeah. 573 00:59:07,040 --> 00:59:15,040 Email us at podcasts plural at channel 84.co.uk or directly Rob or Tom. 574 00:59:15,040 --> 00:59:16,040 Rob or TJ. 575 00:59:16,040 --> 00:59:20,040 TJ. Sorry, Rob or TJ at channel 84.co.uk. 576 00:59:20,040 --> 00:59:23,040 Yeah, we're on Twitter, Facebook, Blue Sky. 577 00:59:23,040 --> 00:59:28,040 We don't check threads. We don't check. I do periodically. 578 00:59:28,040 --> 00:59:30,040 Yes. That was the royal way. 579 00:59:30,040 --> 00:59:35,040 I don't check any of them other than Twitter or emails. 580 00:59:35,040 --> 00:59:43,040 And that's it. Yeah. So next next time we're going to be watching some next generation again. 581 00:59:43,040 --> 00:59:47,040 Season five, episode 16 ethics to follow on from this conversation. 582 00:59:47,040 --> 00:59:55,040 Yeah. And that's it. What am I forgetting? I feel like I'm you've gotten channel 84.co.uk. 583 00:59:55,040 --> 00:59:59,040 That's where you can find out all about all our episodes and our shows that we do. 584 00:59:59,040 --> 01:00:04,040 You can also find blog posts on there, which we've abandoned somewhat, but we will do some more posts at some point. 585 01:00:04,040 --> 01:00:08,040 You can go to our social media links off channel 84.co.uk. 586 01:00:08,040 --> 01:00:15,040 And you can also get to our Discord server by going to channel 84.co.uk forward slash Discord, where you will become a member 587 01:00:15,040 --> 01:00:18,040 and you can find out everything that we're doing plus more. 588 01:00:18,040 --> 01:00:25,040 And finally, if you do enjoy the show and you want to help us buy new kit, keep the web page running, keep email going and everything like that. 589 01:00:25,040 --> 01:00:29,040 We don't spend it on ourselves. It's purely to keep the show running. 590 01:00:29,040 --> 01:00:31,040 You can donate to us through kofi.com. 591 01:00:31,040 --> 01:00:38,040 And again, the links are either on this podcast in your podcast player under donate or go to channel 84.co.uk, 592 01:00:38,040 --> 01:00:46,040 where you can find the channel 84 variety show, which is part of the Untitled Trek show and you can donate there. 593 01:00:46,040 --> 01:00:55,040 So professional. I tend to be fucking bonks. Thank you to Karen. 594 01:00:55,040 --> 01:00:59,040 And thank you to my wife, Miranda. 595 01:00:59,040 --> 01:01:04,040 And thank you to Matt from Appoint a Cthulhu. 596 01:01:04,040 --> 01:01:14,040 And thank you to our friend, Dan, for all their contributions to the shit show short that you would have heard at the start of this episode. 597 01:01:14,040 --> 01:01:23,040 You'll notice that Tom and I aren't in this one. Yes, because the shorts are other parts of what's happening in the universe. 598 01:01:23,040 --> 01:01:27,040 It's the the USS Shit Show main episodes that are us. 599 01:01:27,040 --> 01:01:40,040 The shorts are the kind of the little bits happening in the background and any fan submissions, they all go in the shorts bits and kind of build a background of the world of stupidity that we're making. 600 01:01:40,040 --> 01:01:43,040 Thank you very much, everyone. Thank you very much. 601 01:01:43,040 --> 01:01:51,040 And thank you, TJ. One thing for you. Silence. Yeah. George. 602 01:01:51,040 --> 01:02:05,040 This section has been redacted by the Studio Channel 84 thought police all parties that have participated in this discussion, both here and on the variety show have been sent for reeducation therapy. 603 01:02:05,040 --> 01:02:18,040 We at Studio Channel 84 hope you have enjoyed this program. 604 01:02:18,040 --> 01:02:22,040 Thank you for listening to the Channel 84 Untitled Trek Show. 605 01:02:22,040 --> 01:02:26,040 This station is now shutting down and will be back in two weeks. 606 01:02:26,040 --> 01:02:38,040 Excelsior. 607 01:02:38,040 --> 01:02:43,040 In any case, Starfleet has made a decision that you will rendezvous with the science wrestle. 608 01:02:43,040 --> 01:03:01,040 Oh my fuck me. That was a shit one. Sorry, Rob. 609 01:03:01,040 --> 01:03:15,040 Bye, everybody. Bye bye.