This is Dale Throneberry wishing a happy Easter
to all of our Veterans Radio listeners. Today's
special program is a replay of our 2010 program,
Tear in the Desert with author Navy Chaplain
Father Ron Moses Carmada. Tear in the Desert
is Father Ron's story of his tour in Iraq in
2004 as a Navy chaplain at the surgical hospital
in Fallujah during the Battle of Fallujah. His
story of faith is an inspiration to all of us,
especially during the Easter season. Keep listening
after Father Carmada plays Taps with an additional
reading from Tear in the Desert and two songs
chosen by Father Carmada by W. Keith Moore. And
now, Father Ron Carmada and Tear in the Desert.
And welcome to Veterans Radio. My name is Dale
Thromer and I get to be your host on this beautiful
Sunday afternoon and we have a special program
out of our archives that we wanted to play for
you and that is from 2010 with Father Ron Moses
Karmada. He was the author of a book entitled
Tear in the Desert and it's all about his experiences
as a chaplain in 2004 during the Battle of Fallujah
and I think you're going to find this very inspirational
and I know I did and I think that you're going
to really enjoy this program. Without further
delay here is our interview with Father Ron Karmada.
Joining me on the air right now is Father Ron
Moses who is the author of a book entitled, Tear
in the Desert. And Father Ron, welcome to Veterans
Radio. Oh, Dale, it's great to be here with you.
It's pretty exciting stuff, isn't it? What's
going on on the radio today? Life is great. Life
is great. You are also an award winner with the
Military Writers Society. And I had the honor
of meeting you in Pittsburgh a couple of weeks
ago. and you were kind enough to give me a copy
of your book, and in all honesty, I could not
put it down. You have told an amazing story,
and we're going to talk about it a little bit
today. I don't want to give the whole thing away,
but tell me how you became, first of all, how
you became a priest. I thought that was a fascinating
story. Actually, I went to the U .S. Merchant
Marine Academy in Kings Point, New York. While
I was there, we sail six months a year out on
the ships. And then while I was there, I fell
in love with this young lady and beautiful woman.
And when I was getting ready to graduate instead
of sailing on merchant ships, I took a job with
the US Coast Guard. And when I took the job in
Jacksonville, Florida, close to where I grew
up in Daytona Beach, and as soon as I got down
here, I usually just say, well, she dumped me.
How cruel that's not what it is really it's more
like it was that's what God was calling me to
it I just didn't know what God was calling me
to so I three years later I applied and I went
to the Seminary from the Coast Guard I got out
on August 24th and August 25th I was in the seminary
at st. Miner at Indiana for a year and Then the
following year I always said to God I'll give
you two years As God said to me, I'm not going
to tell you if you're going to be appraised,
He just wanted me to go into the seminary. And
after the two years, I was almost like I didn't
want to return, but it was like a five -year
program, and I got like six years for good behavior.
But when I was ordained in 1990, I had already
switched over from the Coast Guard Reserves to
the Navy Chaplain Candidate Reserve Program.
So in 1990, won, I became a full chaplain, but
I kind of delayed putting my papers in because
the Gulf War was going on and I didn't want to
go to the Middle East. Okay, a reluctant warrior.
So I, three years after being ordained, Bishop
Snyder, the bishop who ordained me, asked me,
called me in the office and said, I'd like you
to go active duty and I said, no, I don't want
to go active duty. He says, but I want you to
go. Yes, sir. You know how obedience is. But
he asked me, like, Ron, why don't you want to
go? I said, well, they always put the new priests
with the Marines. And in this case, I know it's
going to be Okinawa, Japan. And they go out in
the field a lot. And the bishop said, what's
wrong with that? I said, Bishop, my idea of roughing
it is a Motel 6 rather than a Hyatt Regency.
He said, get out of my office. And he smiled.
i went out to in nineteen ninety four to uh...
for a year and a half i was with the marines
in okinawa and uh... they asked me if i want
the air side of the grunts and i said let me
swing with the wing so they put me with the stinger
battery and if any marines are listening to know
that that's the grunt of the air and then i followed
and uh... about a year later uh... i mean a year
and a half later they asked me where i wanted
to go and i said how about puerto rico make it
like what we go i think there's no marine there
I mean, the Marines, I love them. But once I
got to Puerto Rico, I was there for less than
a month. I was on vacation, and they gave me
orders to go to Guantanamo Bay, Cuba during the
Cuban operation in 1995. There were 10 ,000 Cubans
and 10 ,000 Haitians refugees. And I ended up
baptizing 28 Cuban refugees, full immersion,
the CBs and everybody. It was just a beautiful
occasion. and I returned three months later to
Puerto Rico and I got passed over for lieutenant
commander and they said since you got passed
over twice you have to get out but you're a priest
so you can stay I said well I don't want to stay
so I left and I stayed with the reserves the
VTU and a year later they promoted me anyways
to lieutenant commander by that time I was out
for seven years I was a pastor at Saint Patrick's
on the north side of Jacksonville it's an inner
city parish And we were doing some marvelous
things, and I got a phone call from New Orleans
that said to me, I was a captain. It was at the
time the reserve unit in New Orleans, this was
before Katrina, in 2004, July 5th. I qualified
for 20 good years in the reserves. I get this
phone call and it says, Padre, do you have experience
with Marines? I said, no. And then they said,
pack your bags. You're going to Fallujah, Iraq.
Oh, my. I said, you are. No way. This is a joke.
And he says, no, no, no, no, this is serious.
We need someone over there. I said, listen, I
can't go. I'm 45 years old. I can qualify to
retire. They said, well, but did you put your
papers in? I said, no. You've been extended.
Oh, they, well, actually, you have to submit
for it. And so now I'm retired reserves eventually.
But then they said, I said, listen, I have season
tickets to the NFL Jaguar games with my dad.
They said, now that's good, but that won't work.
And then a year, a few minutes. Then I said,
well, what if I had my bishop remove my endorsement?
Because as a chaplain, I have to be endorsed
by my bishop. It's like being licensed. And he
said, well, two priests have already done that.
And I said, thank you. And I said, goodbye. I
hung up the phone, didn't tell a soul. On July
15th, I got orders to report the first week of
August, two weeks later. And I took the orders,
and I walked over to the church, and I placed
my orders on the altar. And I said, Jesus, I
know you don't want me to go, so I'm going to
ask the bishop to remove my endorsement. I know
you need me here to work in this parish, not
for any glory or anything. And it was like Jesus
caught my bluff. and that internal voice like
tapped me on the shoulder and said, Ron, I want
you to go. I said, no, you don't. Yes, I do.
No, you don't. And I was struggling. I said,
you can't be serious. And he said, Ron Moses,
which is my confirmation name, my grandfather's
name, I said, you can't send me. I complained
too much. And Jesus said, yep, you do. So he
put it in my heart that I was supposed to go.
I even said, well, send the other two priests.
He said, no, I need you. And I didn't know what
this was all about, the typical call that most
of us have. Sometimes we resist things, and some
of the most beautiful things happen. So then
I ended up in Fallujah, Iraq. And who were you
with over there? I was with the Bravo Surgical
Unit, which was a Marine unit, which was sort
of like MASH. If anyone knows the television
show or the movie MASH, I was just like Father
Mulcahy. There was about a hundred of us. The
first 50 went over, I went over on September
2nd, and then we went all the way through Althakottam,
then went through just a horrific journey, I
tell you. They were shooting us as we were landing.
That gives you an idea. And then we were in the
convoy, which the— The first convoy for anyone
is just so horrible and I think that's part of
what the book actually helps a little bit for
family members. When we go through it, once you
get through it, then you get used to it. Family
never gets used to the dangers that are implying
for those that they love. The Bravo Surgical
includes about 20 Marines and then there's doctors,
surgeons, nurses. We have a combat stress team.
And I was the only Catholic priest on Camp Fallujah,
which had about over 10 ,000 people at the height
of the Fallujah, the Battle for Fallujah. This
was shortly after the Abu Ghraib incident. In
fact, I actually had an opportunity to go over
there in October of 2004. So I was actually in
Camp Fallujah. And everybody knew that I wasn't
going off anywhere. my family did, but then they
started asking me to go out into the city, especially
during the battle for Fallujah, and I said at
first, no, no, no, and I was complaining a lot.
So from September 6th until December 23rd, we
had casualties every single day from IEDs, amputations,
shrapnel to all parts of the body. And what I
started doing is I had this little green notebook
that I started writing the names of all the people
there. There was over 2 ,000 names that I had
written in there, 1 ,500 casualties in my seven
months over there, and 81 deaths in which 12
died in front of me. Well, I want to get to that.
I want to tell our audience, again, we're talking
with Father Ron Moses Camardi, who's the author
of Tear in the Desert, which is taken from his
journal that we were just mentioning here on
Veterans Radio. And Father Ron, I want you to
talk a little bit about what it was like with
all those casualties coming in because in your
previous life as a, you know, as a priest you
weren't exposed to that kind of horrific damage
to a human being. Exactly. I found a journal
entry that I had written after I had returned
that I was sitting back reflecting and I wrote,
in a sense, Each tear that I witnessed in the
desert was, in a sense, my tear. I am incapable,
like God, to experience the tear as a gift. I
was crying also. I struggle. The heart of some
was pierced and drained. The only relief would
or could be the creator of blood and heart. My
being was parched. Only one drop, one tear, would
be needed to flood the dryness and emptiness.
And with that rejuvenation, as in all storms,
there is a genuine danger. As we take in tear
in the desert, there is a blessing and a grave
danger. In the storm, Jesus is coming to you.
Don't be afraid. He is your love and source of
being. Don't be afraid. And go to Him. Walk on
the flood of tears, and don't look away. Have
faith, and if you do, receive His hand. And Jesus
will grab me and say, oh, you of little faith,
why did you doubt? And move on. Focus on Jesus,
follow Him through the tear. As the people followed
Moses, only the desert is blooming and flowing
with life eternal. While I was over there, when
the people would come in, the first thing that
I did, I said, okay, buddy, the Marines are stripped
down. As soon as they come into Bravo Surgical,
I have a bodyguard that was with me. We were
like the religious ministry team. So Patrick
was a Methodist. And he was from Ohio State,
had twin boys that were about five years old
and a little daughter about nine. And he was
supposed to defend me. I'm the only military
people, chaplains are the only ones without a
weapon out there. And he said, so he would strip
them down. We'd look at the dog tags, look and
find out what their faith would be if we knew
anything. Sometimes I would just have to ask
them because maybe their dog tags had no preference.
Like the Jewish people always put no preference.
You don't want that on your dog tags if you get
caught. Right. So when they would come in, I
would say, okay, buddy, breathe in through your
nose and exhale. And they're all like shaking
and they were trying to get the morphine and
the nurses and the doctors. At first, I didn't
know what I was doing there. So I said, breathe
in and breathe out. You can ask everybody. Just
look if everybody of your listeners would just
do that. If everyone, please just breathe in
through your nose really deeply and exhale through
your mouth. Yeah, it's just amazing calmness
and that's about all I did. I was teaching people
how to breathe. It's sort of like when you're
lifting weights, sometimes you need someone to
remind you to breathe, if you can lift some more.
So I said breathe in and breathe out and one
time this Marine, he was 19 years old, you know,
shaken a little. I mean we had to get him over
to the surgery and I said, Marine, I want you
to breathe in and breathe out. He looked at me
and says, Padre, I'm not Catholic. I said, you're
not. What are you? He says, I'm non -denominational.
I said, what the hell does that mean? Do you
believe in Jesus? He goes, I believe in Jesus.
I'll breathe in Jesus and exhale crap. He's going
to get you calmed down so we can get you over
to the surgery. And he looks at me and he breathes
in and he says, Padre, it works. And we got the
morphine into him and sent him off. That's a
great story. And we're going to be taking a break.
I'm going to ask you to hold on to that. We're
talking with Father Ron Moses Comardia, the author
of Tear in the Desert. It's something that all
of you need to read. It's got some great stories
in there. As you just read earlier, it sounds
like you were writing letters to God or writing
letters to yourself. We'll be right back after
this message. And we are back on veterans radio
and we're talking with father Ron Moses Camardi
author of tear in the desert that music that
you just heard kind of overlapping something
Is from his television program that was based
on the book isn't that true father Ron? Yes,
it is. It's a 30 -minute television special that
was done by the director who's We're actually
in the process of making the book into a movie.
It's just a story that get out for the Marines.
W. Keith Moore wrote the music for it. He actually
wrote music for all of it. And if you ever get
a chance to hear his music, he's just phenomenal.
He has a great depth of the understanding. In
fact, he does some great work with our soldiers
and troops out there. He sends out music for
them. There's like a few clips on my website.
Right. I was just going to tell everybody they
need to go to tierinthedessert .com. That's tierinthedessert
.com and Father Ron has got a great bunch of
information on there, including some segments
from the program, and I think you'll find it
very interesting. As I mentioned, we are talking
with Father Ron Camarda, who is the author of
Tier in the Desert. I wanted to ask you a little
bit about the Battle of Fallujah. You get into
that in the book where you were... As I mentioned
earlier, you sounded a little bit like a reluctant
warrior, but once you got there, you went out
and you were performing mass for anybody and
everybody who would come, weren't you? Yes, sometimes
I would celebrate mass 19 times, especially at
Christmas time and go to little places three
times or 200 at the base. It was just the ministry
of the Anointing of the Sick, which is a Catholic
sacrament for people. About 40 % of the people
out there are actually Catholics. Some of them
struggle, you know. But a lot of times when you're
really injured, it really changes when you come
in, especially when you're recovering. But if
I dare, I'll tell you the story that makes it
here in the desert and why this whole thing happened.
I think it can celebrate pretty much. I was on,
it was November 12th actually, and November 11th
here because of the time zone. But I was just
with two Marines, one died in front of me and
I eventually found out that one died six months
later, but I was going back and forth in the
trauma. And it was just, I had been talking to
them, to this one guy, Gene, and then I experienced
his death. Wonderful guys, I mean, I get the
last minute of their lives practically, and then
I find out later and I, It's a lot of times getting
in contact with their families when I return,
mothers, wives, even the children. And what happened
is, and even with the pictures you see there,
you get an idea of the actual Bravo Surgical,
but I was woken up early in the morning after
being out until about 1 in the dorm and the guys
from Mortuary Affairs, which is right close by,
came in and tapped me on the shoulder among all
the guys I was sleeping with and said, We have
another angel, which is someone who has died,
and asked me if I would come over quickly, and
I said, where's your chaplain? Like 5 .30 in
the morning. They said, we can't find him. And
it was for various reasons. But anyways, I got
up quickly, and I hadn't showered in four days.
So I put my backpack on to go to the showers,
which are about 50 meters away. And just as I
was going to do that, I went over to Mortuary
Affairs, go inside, and there was this young
man, Jonathan Shields, he was ruddy, he was handsome,
he was Baptist, but the only thing is he was
dead, and I just was right with him, right there,
and as soon as I folded my hands, all the Marines,
with their tattoos and their struggles, because
I had known them a little bit, they folded their
hands and just wanted me to pray with them. And
I basically prayed, I said, God, please be with
the family, his family, he's Baptist, and so
on the cross, Jesus said, Father forgive them
they don't know what they do and today you'll
be with me in paradise and as you welcome this
man into eternity we ask that you bless his family
and those people who will be struggling for after
this and then I just started singing amazing
grace how sweet the sound it saved and set me
free and then I saw his soul rise it was absolutely
amazing it was like the room filled with angels
and it's hard to explain I'm sure people can
doubt what I was experiencing, but it was so
beautiful. It was, you know, once someone's about
to die, it's the most beautiful thing in the
world. It's also the poorest person in the world
because they can't breathe. It doesn't matter
how much money you have. Once you can't breathe
anymore, then you, then you leave. And then I
was filled with great joy and I walk outside
and then the weight of the world came back onto
me. And then I walked down the 50 meters to the
showers. And as I was just getting ready to put
shaving cream on my face. The door opened and
there's no one else around. But the commanding
officer came in and says, Padre, you got to come
quick to the trauma. We're losing another one.
And the doors slammed. And all I could think
of, I just want to go to bed. I had 28 deaths
already and countless trauma. And it was in the
middle of the battle for Fallujah. And I just
said, I just want to go to bed. And I took the
shaving gear out. And I'm not proud of it. I
started shaving slower than I've ever shaved
before in my entire life. And when I finished
shaving, I didn't shower, but had I not taken
this delay, the rest of this story doesn't happen,
I wouldn't be talking to you, Dale. That's how
amazing, and so it's but by a thread. I walked
back to the hospital where I'd seen bombs hit
the hospital once coming out of the head, and
all I could say was, thank God I took a dump.
But when I got there, I went inside and went
down the hallway and I was too late so I had
to go into the and I got shoved down the hallway.
We didn't have enough corpsmen because we had
been depleted because of everything. They started
giving me orders. Padre, hold the blood, squeeze
out the plasma. They shoved me into the operating
room and they pulled out an 11 -inch cylindrical
rocket mortar that had lodged in his abdomen.
I said, how did this guy last this long? Why?
and I knew that he was conscious when he came
in, but he was out, and I helped put him up on
the gurney, and I stretched him on the table.
He looked like Jesus, and then they slid him
open, and I could see his heart pumping and everything
inside, and I'm cramming myself up against the
wall, and when Nourish yells out, he's Catholic,
and I can't think of any of the prayers. I mean,
it was amazing. I could not think of any prayer
whatsoever, not even the Hail Mary. And I'm just
like, if I could... get out of there, I would.
I was just amazing. And then they looked at me
and they said, my agnostic roommate, surgeon,
he yells at me, he goes, Padre, set up the light.
And I'm like ignoring him and he says, Padre,
please set up the light. And I said, and then
he looked at me and he said, Padre, you're standing
on it. So I had to get off this big light and
I brought the light to the table and all of a
sudden I felt like I could get a prayer like
a basket. I would be like, I could be the professional
prayer, get out, do my duty, have another notch
on things. But just as I was feeling that comfort,
and I was about to do it, both of the surgeons
looked at me and said, Padre, we can't do anything.
It's up to you. And they just walked out of the
room. Blood everywhere. It was a pool of blood
on the floor, all over his body. The only place
he didn't have blood was on his face. He had
tattoos and everything. He had red, tight hair.
He was an Army soldier. His name was Edward.
started brushing his hair, and I said, Ed, you're
dying. Unless it's a miracle, it's right here.
And I don't see that kind of a miracle, because
I'm going to be your family. And I said, when
Jesus was on the cross, he just said seven things.
Father, forgive them. They don't know what they're
doing. Today, you'll be with me in paradise.
And when I got to that point, it was just the
thief. The thief said, Jesus, remember me when
you come into your kingdom. And then the thief
says, Today, you'll be with me in paradise. I
Looked at him and I just you know, Edward. I
am sick and tired of this war. I'm jealous of
you I mean you're going to be in heaven and I
I don't want to be here anymore. I want to go
with you. I'm jealous and But don't just go to
the light. Don't be afraid. I'll let your family
know everything and So as I was praying and then
I I didn't know what to do He's just there breathing,
you know breathing in and out on his own and
I I turned to the I just looked at him and I
said, I'm going to sing to you what I sang to
my mother when she was dying. And it's a song
of birth. It's a song that people hear all the
time. But when my mother was dying, we sang this
to her. So I started singing, oh, holy night.
The stars are brightly shining. It is the night
of our dear Savior's birth. And I'm feeling unconscious,
self -conscious because the Marines are all there
and army and stuff. Long lay the world in sin
and error pining till he appeared. And the soul
felt it's worth a thrill of hope. And as I said,
a weary world rejoiced as a tear came squirting
out of his left eye, traveled down and froze
on his face. I swear, Dale, I could hear the
sound of that tear. And that's when I stopped
complaining. That's when I knew. God needed me
to just come and just witness a tear. That's
all I do. I mean, people have lots of things
to do in their lives or special things, but all
I was supposed to do was experience this tear.
And then I was just, I could, the angels were
in the room. It was just absolutely heavenly.
And I finished the song, Fall On Your Knees.
And when I was just finished with the song, I'm
praying. I did the anointing of the sick on his
forehead. I said, through this holy anointing,
may the Lord His love and mercy saved you and
raised you up. And I did it on his hands that
were bloody. And it was like, when I finished
that, I'm just there. He's just breathing. And
I thought, like, well, what do I do? Just wait
for him to die, I guess. And then I got this,
like, tap on my shoulder again. And it was Jesus
said to me, Ron, tell him you love him. I said,
I ain't telling him that. Ron, please. No, no,
no, no, no. I can't do that. Ron Moses, you've
got to. I says, I can't. He says, well, do you
believe it? I says, yes, I do. The problem is,
Jesus, if I do that, I can't function out here
anymore. I can't minister to anybody else because
my heart will be absolutely crushed. I cannot
do this. Ron, please. Ron Moses. I said, oh my
God. And I looked at Ed Rurion. I said, Edward,
I love you. I leaned over and I kissed him on
the forehead. There was a flash of light and
he was gone. We'll be right back after this.
Welcome back to the second half of our program
with Father Ron Carmada, the author of the book,
Tear in the Desert. He's going to continue by
telling us a couple more stories that were really
emotional to him and also emotional to me when
I was listening to them. When we end the interview
with Father Carmada, we're going to also be playing
a little segment where he is reading from his
book. And then after that, we're going to be
playing a song that was written by the man who
did the soundtrack for Father Kamada's television
program. And his name is Keith Moore. And we're
going to be playing a song by Keith Moore, and
it's entitled Hold On. and I think you're going
to find it a really powerful song as well to
end today's Easter program. So I hope you have
enjoyed our program and make sure that you come
back next week because next week we will be having
our benefits program and we will be drawing again
for one of our leather jackets from U .S. Wings.
So again, as I said earlier on, here's our interview
with Father Ron Carmada. We're back on Veterans
Radio and we're talking with Navy Chaplain retired,
Father Ron Moses Camarda. And Father Ron, I hope
our listeners will go into our archives and listen
to that last segment because I couldn't stop.
I didn't want to stop you. And I didn't even
want to take a commercial break, but we had to,
unfortunately. You know what was so good about
that, Dale? Yes. I'm sitting here. I'm shaking
a little bit, but... That was the silence that
sometimes I go ahead you just try I think we
get nervous with that silence and when Edward
died that was such a beautiful Moment to cherish
and we in our society with so much information
so much things going on sometimes We just need
to take the time to just be silent. I think that's
even why taps Is such a moving experience every
night the military has that but it's just a quiet
time for us to say, wow, just be filled with
gratitude for life itself, with all its ups and
downs, good times, bad times, sickness and then
health. I was trying to find in your book, there
was a segment there where you were talking about
a marine memorial service. I actually have it
right in front of me. Okay, this is one where
they call out the names. Can I share it with
you? Yes, please do. Get the Kleenex out. likely
provided the strength and discipline Oscar might
have lacked in his family of origin. I gleaned
a few things about Oscar from his friends who
spoke at the memorial service. Oscar smiled,
laughed, and thoroughly enjoyed the life given
to him, but now his life was abruptly ended.
Over 300 Marines gathered to show gratitude for
Oscar's sacrifice. In many ways, the whole ceremony
reminded me of Good Friday services when we remember
the death of Jesus of Nazareth. The scripture
at the memorial service was the book of Kahela,
Ecclesiastes, and spoke of vanity of vanities
in which there is a time for everything, including
a time to be born and a time to die. The gospel
spoke of the many houses God will provide, one
for each of us. Jesus loves us and assures us.
A huge Marine Corps flag, approximately 30 feet
by 20, draped the stage. The flag has a red background
and a globe with an anchor in the center. Above
the globe an eagle touts, Semper Fidelis. Underneath
this motto is a banner of the United States Marine
Corps. There were also seven Marine Corps flags
and one US Navy flag on stands that fanned out.
At the stage's center was the cross equivalent.
There was no body. Oscar's boots were there.
His rifle also stood beside the boots and supported
his helmet and dangling dog tags. The words and
benediction were spoken. The Gunny Sergeant then
marched to the front and called the roll. The
names of about five Marines in Oscar's platoon
were called. These Marines forcefully proclaimed
with a trace of guarded grief. Present. Then
the Gunny yelled, Private, First Class Martinez.
States Marine Corps." Still silent. Then the
gunny barked. Private, first class Oscar A. Martinez,
United States Marine Corps, killed in action
by enemy attack October 12, 2004. The gunny saluted
and then tapped. After filing up, over 300 of
us one by one gave Oscar our respect and love.
The tribute was very much like Good Friday when
we individually go forward to the cross. It was
emotional and tearful. I will never again experience
Good Friday without remembering this service.
Jesus had a cross rather than a rifle. Jesus
has conquered and will eventually gather us all
home. God is good all the time. I can hardly
breathe myself. I'm going to have to breathe
in through my nose and out my mouth so I can
continue. It's such a powerful segment of the
book, Father Ron, and there are many, many others
like that out there. It's such an inspirational
story of your journey through not only your faith
but also in what was going on over there and
is still going on. I have to admit that I have
a much higher regard or I'm not sure the word
I'm looking for for chaplains I didn't even I
Didn't realize what work that you did and it's
it's it's so impressive That you were able to
do that and then you know that you're coming
back with your own Baggage that you have to work
through and you know what it is So I also find
Dale is it's the parents and the family when
I write sign a book sometimes I say beloved and
I'll say thanks for taking the service and thanks
for your service as being the mother of a Marine,
the brother or sister or a cousin or a friend
and continue and in the journey it's like I was
just there all I did was witness it and you know
I think God uses the weakest and the dumbest
and that's why I know that I was chosen for this
not because I do anything except that you know
the Marines love it if you pitch your tent with
them. And a lot of times, had I didn't go out
some of the places, they wouldn't give me any
credibility. But like you see some of the pictures,
one of them is in the city of Fallujah, to accept
them where they are, as they are. I have this
gratitude at the end of the book that I'd like
to share with you, because I really think it
puts it into perspective. I wrote this 12 November
2007. which is like three years ago today. I
held a man figuratively and literally as he died.
Okay, we've only got about a minute to go, so.
Okay. Sorry. He was stretched out in the operating
room like a crucified man on his back, guts hanging
out. I had overwhelming love for this man whom
I had just met. I was exhausted from the war
and battled, depressed, belittled, and frustrated.
And in this darky moment, I have a sense of light.
I can play Taps for you, one of the songs that
I sang at some of the services when I was out
there. And I do it even when I'm returning. And
if you listen to the words, it's really powerful,
if you don't mind. I'm going to ask you to just
hold off on that for a second. We're going to
go out on that. And I want to thank Father Ron
Moses -Carmada for being on Veterans Radio today.
And we'll have him back again because he's so
inspirational and such a great opportunity to
talk. with somebody who's been there. So I want
to thank you very much, and then I'm going to
let you go with taps and we'll finish up the
interview on that. Thank you very much for being
on Veterans Radio. Thank you so much, Dale. We'll
be talking to you soon. God bless you. Okay.
And I'll sing it first, then I'll play it. Okay.
Thanks and praise for our days. Neath the stars,
neath the sun, neath the sky. November in Fallujah.
The battle for Fallujah. Muslim tears. 2 November
2004. Feast of all souls. A Baptist man was referred
to me. His wife, the mother of his children,
had been unfaithful. He was wounded and bleeding
profusely in his heart and soul. I have often
received this kind of moral casualty. There is
no morphine to dull or numb the pain. No anesthesia
exists for the spiritual surgery I must perform.
The man's only chance for a life is the opposite
of what feels right or justified. He must forgive
his wife. Yes. He must then allow himself to
be forgiven. This is not easy. In fact, it seems
nearly impossible. Maybe this is why God came
to the earth, suffered and died. God loves us
so much and God understands our fears. God came
to show us the way. God knows, God cares, God
loves. Only Yahweh, Jesus, the Son of God, was
the sole divine being who lived among us, suffered
and died for us. God did this not to make us
feel guilty and blindly worship Him. God calls
us to be friends and not slaves. We are beloved
of God. Let us love one another as God loves
us. In the chronicles of the book, we hear, Oh,
give thanks to the Lord, for He is good, for
His mercy endures forever. Still hanging on.
5 November 2004. Four army troops came into Bravo
Surgical on Friday afternoon. One clung to life
as the others dealt with their injuries. I wrote
the following notes in my green journal. Camacho,
Rivera, Carlos, Catholic. He died after leaving
Bravo Surgical. I did the anointing, the apostolic
blessing, forgiveness. Still hanging on. God
help us. intercession of St. Charles Borromeo,
Kelly Greene, Roderick Robinson, and Richard
Lopez. The exact events are hard to remember.
It was around 1400 or 2 p .m. on a beautiful
day. I anointed Carlos Camacho Rivera and gave
him the apostolic blessing, which pardons all
sins. It is an occasion similar to when Jesus
hung on the cross between two thieves. One of
the thieves cried out to Jesus after admonishing
his brother thief. Jesus, remember me when you
come into your kingdom. Even as Jesus suffered
tremendously, he turned to the thief and said,
today you will be with me in paradise. Now, if
God promises, it's a done deal. In my weakness,
however, I wanted Carlos to live. I desperately
wanted people to witness miraculous healings
from my priesthood. Of course, I didn't want
anyone to know this dark side of me. I had forgiven
Carlos of all his sins. He was pure and ready
to go to heaven. He had been in the battle with
his brother Marines, probably cursing or not
fully living up to his baptismal promises. None
of us do. We are all just pilgrims passing through
the world. I believe God wired us to be lonely.
Carlos' purpose in life was to be called to our
Creator, but I, Ron, didn't want that. I was
struggling big time. I had experienced approximately
20 deaths. I was very restless, but this was
different. I wanted more than anything for this
young man to live. My heart was about to explode.
I wanted to run away. But there was nowhere to
go, so still waiting for a miracle. I walked
outside to the front of the hospital. I prayed
for the intercession of St. Charles Borromeo,
the saint of the day. Then I started praying,
the rosary. My heart felt heavy. I must have
looked at least a hundred years old. Is this
what it would feel like to experience the death
of one's own flesh and blood? I just couldn't
finish the rosary. I was sitting on the steps
to a platform used to drag out dead bodies from
the tanks. I was numb and stunned. A young Marine
Sergeant asked if he could help me. With heavy
eyes, I nodded my head with the rosary wilted
in my hands. The Marine was Catholic. that he
had been struggling to return to the sacraments
and the life of the church. We had talked on
another occasion in which I had been the strong
one, the fatherly figure. Today, he was also
like a son to me, just like Carlos, who was in
the process of dying in the hospital. Mark sat
beside me on the steps, and we prayed the rosary
together. The end of each Hail Mary felt like
a dagger to my heart and an assurance to me.
Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners
now and at the hour of our death. We watched
the helicopter evacuate Carlos. I knew he would
die. Not only was Carlos holding on to his life
on earth, but I was holding on too. Every injury
was partly my injury. Every death was part of
my death. How much could I take? We hope you
enjoyed today's program and I would be remiss
if I didn't thank our sponsors and you for supporting
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until next week this is Dale Thromery for all
of us here at Veterans Radio. You are dismissed.